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Coffee Break: Red Square Mimi Sunglasses

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Jeepers Peepers Red Square Mimi SunglassesASOS has some very cool and reasonably priced sunglasses right now, including these lovely red ones from Jeepers Peepers. Especially as something worn to/from the office, I think sunglasses can be a great source for self-expression. Yes, you may be wearing a boring suit (or may even feel low energy from overwork), but vibrant red cat-eye sunglasses show that you've got a sense of whimsy, a sense of daring, and more than a bit of style. These are $27 at ASOS. Jeepers Peepers Red Square Mimi Sunglasses (L-2)  

Sales of note for 3/21/25:

  • Nordstrom – Spring sale, up to 50% off: Free People, AllSaints, AG, and more
  • Ann Taylor – 25% off suiting + 25% off tops & sweaters + extra 50% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 40% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Eloquii – $39+ dresses & jumpsuits + up to 50% off everything else
  • J.Crew – 25% off select linen & cashmere + up to 50% off select styles + extra 40% off sale
  • J.Crew Factory – Friends & Family Sale: Extra 15% off your purchase + extra 50% off clearance + 50-60% off spring faves
  • M.M.LaFleur – Flash Sale: Get the Ultimate Jardigan for $198 on sale; use code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – Buy 1 get 1 50% off everything, includes markdowns

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

197 Comments

  1. Re-posting for week day readers…

    Any recommendations for in-house head hunters? Seriously considering moving back and am casually looking, but need a more strategic plan. I have a corporate/commercial and regulatory/compliance (but not bio/pharma – although I am interested in moving into that area if I can find the right position) practice 10+ years.
    Anyone you really like, places to avoid?

    TIA!

    1. If you want to go in house, you must find a manageing partner to impress, like I did. That is better then alot of head hunters. FOOEY on head hunters!

  2. Why would a first year carry a logo embellished lv purse and wear a cartier love bangle to work?

      1. I’ll go with a +1 to this, in lieu of the many other responses I can think of.

      2. [eek mysteriously vanishing comment, sorry if this posts twice]

        I’ll go with a +1 to this, in lieu of the many other responses I can think of.

    3. Maybe it was a gift and/or it’s the only nice purse she has. And the bangle was almost certainly a gift. I bet she wears it almost every day.

      1. This is what came to mind. I inherited a really nice diamond and pearl ring from my grandma that I wear regularly because I love being reminded of her. It’s far nicer that anything I could buy myself, and it would be a shame to keep it stored away.

      2. Hey, I’m a student and I wear a silver charm bracelet everyday (hs grad gift) and gold earrings (handed down from my great-grandmother). I love them. For interviews/jobs, I usually take a vera bradley bag (not that expensive compared to some standards, but still, a gift) or a coach bag (sweet sixteen gift). I also have some dress shirts from Ann Taylor, Vince Camuto, Nordstrom, etc . . that were a rare or special occasion purchase, usually on sale. I have one or two nice things that i would use in all/most professional environments, but I don’t have more than that.

        1. I also own a designer-but-not-too-expensive watch that is an 18th bday gift (traditional in my family) but I dont keep that at college with me.

      4. I was thinking the same.. During my first year, my only splurge was an LV clutch and I have worn it to every official function, business trip, mixer event etc. because that was the only decent/grown-up/quality item I owned.
        Also, I rarely receive gifts, but when I do, I use/wear them as much as I can.

      1. Not sure if applies – after all an LV can be had for $700 – we feature dresses for more than that, not $10K….

        1. I just meant “we have had this debate” and OP may be a new reader that didn’t know.

          1. I know…but I’d have to imagine the difference in price eliminates all of the she couldn’t possible have afforded it/she clearly doesn’t need to work discussions…. ;-)

    6. They are hers and she is expecting to be judged on her work, not her accessories….

      1. + 10000

        also not on her hair, her tights, or her office decor (as long as all are reasonably neat and tidy)

    7. As a first year, I wore my Cartier watch (gift from my parents) and carried my LV (not logo) bag (which I bought for myself with my clerkship bonus from the firm). In my firm, it didn’t seem at all inappropriate. Is wearing Cartier and LV any less appropriate than driving an expensive new car, wearing designer shoes to the office, or having a large diamond engagement ring? People opt to spend their money in different ways.

      1. That’s because you’re from Dallas. Tee hee. (I’m from Houston. It wouldn’t be unusual here either.)

    8. At what level of seniority does it become appropriate to wear designer accessories to work? What brands would you suggest she wear at her current lowly station?

    10. A paralegal that used to work in my office carried a very nice LV logo purse every day. When I admited it, she mentioned that she inherited it from her mother. I never wondered why she carried it, just figured she liked it.

      2. Wait, you mean you didn’t tell her a mere paralegal was not permitted to carry an LV bag??? You’re doing it wrong.

  3. Dating questions: I am going to out myself as the person who posted a while ago about dating someone who was lying about his age (Guy No. 1). I broke things off with him, and started dating another guy (whose age has been verified!) (Guy No. 2). Here’s my problem: I was so very into Guy No.1 physically. There was a ton of chemistry between us and I couldn’t get enough of kissing him (never went further for reasons in my original post…). I couldn’t wait to see him when we had a date planned, and really enjoyed every minute with him, but ultimately broke it off as I couldn’t see a future (the 15 year age difference + the lying about it). I’m happy with that decision and sticking with it.

    Now, Guy No. 2 is a much more suitable boyfriend candidate. He is closer to me in age, same interests, very kind and sweet, interesting person, and so far seems like a genuinely nice guy who would make a fantastic boyfriend. Problem: I feel nothing when we kiss. No chemistry. I don’t get it. He is not unattractive, and I like him as a person and I like being around him. I just can’t find the spark and I find that I have very little interest in making out with him.

    I’m afraid I probably already know the answer to this. But, can chemistry develop? Will I find it with this guy ever? Should I wait and see a bit longer (we’ve been on 8 dates so far)? Or should I call it quits now?

    1. I’m sure it’s not easy to hear but I think you need to move on. 8 dates is plenty of time to figure out if there’s chemistry – and if there’s not, it doesn’t mean he’s a bad guy, it just means he’s not the guy for you.

      So yeah, I’d end it. You deserve to find someone who is both a suitable boyfriend candidate AND you’re attracted to, and he deserves to be with someone who is excited about making out with him. So I think it’s time to move on.

      2. I hear you. Also, he clearly deserves to be with someone who is crazy about him in every way. I’m just disappointed in myself as he would be such a wonderful boyfriend.

        1. Don’t be disappointed in yourself! It’s not your fault or his fault, it’s just… chemistry, sometimes. Not your fault and nothing you can do about it – you’ve given it more than a fair shake to see if the attraction is going to grow and it just hasn’t.

          It’s like that Vertical Horizon song from the 90s…
          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYnNOwMpu_Y

      3. I think I AGREE here with this poster. My mom say’s f you do NOT have any chemistry after 10 date’s, you should try another guy. She knew that DAD was the one right away, b/c he was handsome and SMART. He was very well dresed, and he had the fraternety guy’s all aksing for dateing advice. Three guy’s in the fraternity also wanted to date mom, but my dad thought he should keep her to HIMSELF. So he did NOT let the other guy’s try to date her and he impresed her with his brains and his kissing skill’s. (They did NOT have sex back in the 1960’s until they were engaged). By the time they were MARRIED, they did have sex, but they already knew they had chemistry b/c dad was NOT basheful about doeing other thing’s.

        I think I got the buseiness today, but I do NOT like the manageing partner’s freind. He seem’s kind of stuffy, but he is NOT that smart and does NOT know WC at all. He thought I should teach him, but I said for 20% he should TEACH me. He said I was impudent but he could learn to live with that if there was suficient volume. FOOEY on him. He is the one that will have to file the paper’s so he can also get some other cleint’s too.

        The cleint want’s me to come down again to tour their store’s, where alot of the accident’s happen. I think the cleint was lookeing alot at me, but not thinkeing about my presentation b/c he aksed question’s that were RIGHT ON the powerpoint. The cleint is the son, b/c the father just gave him the business b/c he is retireing. So he has ALOT to learn and need’s to get smart quick.

        I said I would talk to the manageing partner. He wants me to come back next week, but I have a sore tuchus from the Amtrak and do NOT want to sit that quickly again on that bumpy train. FOOEY!

      5. Ya I agree with momentsofabsurdity. I think chemistry is important and it doesn’t always happen right away, but 8 dates is more than enough. Don’t be disappointed – sometimes people just don’t click, and you both deserve to be with someone you think would make a great partner AND someone you have great chemistry with!

    2. I see that several ladies have responded to say that 8 dates is more than enough to make a decision. I realize that it’s probably different for every person, but what are your thoughts about how many dates you should allow before deciding if someone is right for you or not?

      And how good of a “candidate,” to use Parker’s terminology, does a guy have to be for you to choose to keep moving forward? For example, if I imagine my dream boyfriend/husband, he’s an A+. Obviously a D or F would be a no-brainer, but if I go out with a guy who’s only a B, do I break it off in hopes of finding the A+?

      1. I am at a phase in my life where I’m consoling divorcing friends who married their “B” candidate because it was time to get married and they hadn’t met Mr. “A.”

        Don’t get me wrong. I think many of my friends are way, way too picky. Almost every guy deserves a date or two. Just because your mental checklist requires a guy have a six figure job and an ivy league degree doesn’t mean that guy is going to make your toes curl. And the auto mechanic you would never consent to date might be the guy who does.

        But your toes should curl, your spine should tingle and your stomach should do flip-flops when you think about him. Marriage is hard enough to get through without real attraction and love and -yes, I’ll say it, LUST – as your foundation.

        1. mamabear, this is so, so true, and I think it’s what I know deep down. It just seems crazy to give up on such a good guy, but if I don’t have the butterflies in my stomach (or heart) now for him, I probably won’t get them, ever.

      2. My husband and I are a B at best in terms of compatibility (this is not meant as a knock against him in any way, we both know and acknowledge our differences). The way I look at it, no one/no relationship is perfect you just have to prioritize and decide what you can’t live with.

    3. You can’t force chemistry. Speaking from experience, you could be with this guy for years and still suddenly wake up one day and be dissatisfied because you would feel like there might be the possibility of something more and then you would have wasted both your time and his. I think you are right to go with your gut on this one!

    4. A neighbor of mine once started dating a very nice guy. He had real potential in every way, but she didn’t like the way he kissed. Then one evening, she told me, very happily “he is capable of learning!” and when they started sleeping together it went much the same way–she was clear about what she liked, and he took instruction well. They got married after about 1.5 years. I’ve lost track of them.

      My $.02 is that chemistry is a lot easier to come by than other important attributes like reliability, devotion, faithfulness, earning potential, hard worker…

  4. Has anyone ever had any luck getting their bank to waive an overdraft fee?

    I woke up this AM to discover that my credit card company debited my account twice for full payment of a very large credit card bill. This very nearly drained my checking account, which I don’t keep a lot in to begin with. The credit card company apologized & are mailing me a check, but I’m still without a few thousand dollars (that should rightfully be in my possession) for a few days.

    I’ve arranged a transfer from my savings account to cover the difference in the meantime, but due to auto-pay for another bill, I’ve realized that I’ll probably have my first ever overdraft in my checking account. I’ve been with my bank for almost ten years and have never overdrawn my account before; any tips or thoughts on how to get the fee waived?

    1. Yes, by all means call the bank’s customer service line and just ask. I am positive they will waive the fee for you under these circumstances.

    2. Just call them and explain the situation. I never had this exact problem but I get fees waived all the time. The important thing is to be polite, explain yourself, tell them it never happened before in all the X years, and ask to speak to a supervisor if that doesn’t work out.

    3. Yes, call and explain what happened and they should waive it. You may have to speak with a manager. I think at most banks they will waive one every so often. If for some reason they will not waive it, I would request (I tried to think of a nice word, in reality I would demand) that the credit card company reimburse you for the fee since in was their mistake.

    4. I’d call, explain the situation, and ask them to do it. They should, especially since it was their fault. If they hassle you about it, point out that you are a long time customer and have never over drafted before.

      The book (and maybe the blog) I will Teach You To Be Rich lays out scripts for asking a bank to do this. Check that out if you need more inspiration or a better idea of what to say.

      Also, if it doesn’t work the first time you call, you can always try again later with someone else. Good luck!

      1. Sorry, that was me and I misread and thought the bank debited it twice, not the credit card company. My advice is the same though!

    5. Which bank? I have had overdraft fees waived from Chase and Charles Schwab, but not Bank of America (no matter how much pleading/begging) so I think it depends on the bank. In all 3 cases it was my fault but I called to apologize, explain, and they gave me a one time exception (and it hasn’t happened again!)

  5. Can I ask for weird advice?

    We’re expecting our first baby. My husband comes from a family of all boys (literally, he is the fifth generation of at least 3 children and all boys in each generation). We don’t have any gender preference.

    People in our community – not our close personal friends, but people we attend church with, have professional/acquaintance relationships with, AND his parents, have said some things that I’ve become more and more offended with as the pregnancy progresses – mostly statements about:

    How my in-laws have been hoping it’s a girl (which evidently they have been telling everyone how much they hope it is a girl – MIL has said to me “I hope it’s a girl, I’ve been saving this baby dress for thirty years);

    How us not revealing the gender has been “selfish” and “thoughtless” because it makes it hard for people to “give us presents”;

    How much they hope it is one gender or another – “I really hope you have a boy/girl. I’ll be so DISAPPOINTED if it’s a girl/boy.”

    “What is your preference? Oh, come on, everybody has a preference. Tell us Tell Us TELL US” (usually by 2-3 people physically walking me into a corner)

    This has been going on for a few months but has really intensified lately; we have a baby shower with church/community friends this weekend. Lately I’ve been in this stage where I (1) can’t sleep; (2) sweat constantly; and (3) am pretty much constantly in a rage about everything. I think/thought it was just my hormones, and I’m worried that this weekend I’m going begin screaming and smack the next person who makes one of these comments to me – especially the “disappointed” comment.

    Can the hive think of witty, sharp-enough to back off, but large-group appropriate “comebacks” to these statements? I’ve just been appalled and can’t seem to figure out what to say without beginning to lose my temper/tongue.

    2. What asshats. I’m thinking a reference to a hermaphrodite would be appropriate. Or you could go Miss Manners’ route and say with an arched eyebrow “Why would you say such a thing??”

    3. A few sample responses – kind of take your pick since nothing is really a question, it’s all just inappropriate comments!!!

      “How nice for you.”
      “That’s too bad.”
      “How inappropriate of you to say so.”
      “Your point being?”
      “Why do you ask?”

    4. Does no one have a backbone on this site anymore? most of those comments are outright rude. Just say so. to the MIL- respond like she is not serious. I’d say something like “well if its a boy, you know what side of the family to blame.” to the people saying you are selfish “It hurts to hear you call me selfish. DH and I have our reasons for wanting to wait to know. If its really about presents- there will be plenty of time in our child’s life to buy things for them.” To people saying they will be disappointed “You’ll be dissapointed if the gender of my child isn’t to your preference? That is very rude to say (or just a really raised eyebrow)” to the preference questions, just say we really don’t have a preference. And don’t let your self be walked into a corner. (what does that mean?? do they push you? Physically restrain you? That makes no sense that they are pushing you into a corner unless you truly are related to psychopaths) If anyone keeps asking a question say oh I already answered you! Why don’t you tell me about blank

      1. I really don’t get the sense that the OP lacks a backbone, just that she’s trying to be polite to people who have no sense of boundaries. It’s so much easier to armchair quarterback awkward conversations than to actually face them yourself, especially with someone with whom you need to maintain a good relationship (like a mother in law). I think you might be a little harsh on the OP. Personally, I find it harder to have a backbone with friends and family than at work.

        To the OP: I’m not sure if I have anything to add to everyone else’s suggestions other than to take a deep breath and pause before you answer.

        1. Many people lose all sense of boundaries when they’re around a pregnant woman. Perhaps OP could point that out to them. If it’s not sharp enough, just tell them that you are so sick of this question you are about to snap and you’d hate to yell at them.

    5. Honestly, if I were in your shoes I’d just tell the gender. Is there a particular reason you’ve chosen to keep it secret? It seems like the path of least resistence is to just cave.

      Failing that, I’d say “We’re hoping for a healthy human, and we have decided the gender will be our little secret until the baby actually arrives!”

      1. Oh, and I wouldn’t get into big discussions about it. Just repeat your one-line response until the interrogators get tired!

      2. I tend to agree with this. If you know, why do you want to keep it a secret? Is your reason worth putting up with all the comments? I don’t think that what they’re doing is right, but there is something to be said for the path of least resistance.

        If you don’t know yourself, then I would just say that you are focusing on a healthy baby.

        If someone presses you for your preference, I would say “absolutely no preference” the first time and get progressively more terse the more it’s asked.

      3. Maybe they chose not to find out the gender, so she can’t just reveal it? The original poster just says they have no gender preference, not that she knows the gender of the baby, so she may not know?

        I know several pregnant ladies who have opted out of knowing the gender entirely – they go with the “we waited to find out, it’s one of life’s truly good surprises regardless of what you get”.

        1. +1. We didn’t find out the gender with our first. I loved not knowing. After many many hours of labor and delivery, it was an amazing surprise to find out that we had a son!

      4. We opted to not find out, maybe that should have been more clear in the original post. I don’t think now, at 32 weeks, I want to go to the doctor and say “we’ve just got to give in to public opinion.”

      5. Honestly, if OP backs down and tells the gender (assuming she knows) than she has to have the name conversation. And then she’ll be criticized for that choice. Because someone will hate the name or think it’s weird or had a grad school rival with the name, etc. etc. etc.

        1. Not necessarily – we told the gender and when asked if we had a name, we replied that we had a short list, but weren’t telling. People got over it. And I loved there being some surprise.

    6. This may not work for all people / all communities, but more than once while in the process of adopting, I said, “We don’t care what it is, so long as it’s gay.”

      4. Not sure what it says about my own stereotypes that I loved this comment even more coming from “Georgia Peach”

      5. This is amazing. I have a similar response, because of where some of our friends come from, and it’s equally un-PC, but I think it’s totally legit considering how rude people can be with their comments. I have yet to come up with a good response when people give us a hard time about refusing to discuss names we are tossing around. I *really* don’t want anyone’s input on what we’ve discussed and basically decided on, and I hate feeling pressured to tell close friends and family.

        1. Well on the flip side, thank you for not telling the name ahead of time. I’m at the age where all of my friends are just starting to have their first babies, and it really weirds me out when the unborn child is referred to constantly by their name all over facebook. One of my friends announced on facebook she was pregnant at about 4 weeks (insane to me) and immediately upon knowing the gender, made a photo album with the baby’s name and has proceeded to post weekly bump pictures in it. I’m weirdly very superstitious in this area – I feel like it’s just asking for bad luck/counting chickens before their hatched. I miss the days when people didn’t know everything and could be surprised or (heaven forbid) change their minds about the name once they met the kid.

          1. I am weirded out by that, too but haven’t ever been eloquent about articulating why. Also, I agree about keeping an open mind on names. I know some people have their hearts set on one name or another but we have about three boy and three girl names that are in the running and will most likely wait until we meet the baby to decide.

      6. This is fantastic and would render basically everyone I know in my rural, conservative, midwestern community truly speechless.

    7. Ugh. We received similar comments with no. 1 and now are expecting no. 2. First, it is completely your decision as to whether to find out/not find out/disclose/not disclose. Do what you and DH want and stick with it.

      I found that people can be truly insensitive when it comes to all things pregnancy/baby/parenting related. Add to that the pregnancy induced rage (was/am I the only one?), and it is very tempting to just clobber people with a bag or shoe.

      Anyway, as for come backs, I wish I could come up with something as witty as these, but check out the “Pregnant Chicken” website (the “things I wish I said when pregnant” and “things never ot say to a pregnant woman” are awesome). Be forewarned, that in my pregnant state, I laughed so hard that I ended up crying, which then turned to real crying. Gotta love the hormones.

      1. ERMAHGERD I JUST FELL OUT LAUGHING. The Best of Pregnancy Comebacks is EXACTLY what I needed….

        Thanks for the serious WIN. I had never heard of that website.

        1. I know!! I love it. I think I’m going to go with the — “It doesn’t matter because we are going to name it Thermos the Third whether it is a boy or girl.” — this time. Pregnant Chicken brings much needed humor to this whole pregnancy thing.

          1. Ok, that is the perfect answer. I already have the “we were trying for a puppy” stored away from this site, and that Thermos the Third is a pretty fantastic addition.

    8. Yikes, that’s frustrating. I’ve never been pregnant, but many of my friends who have kids have kept the gender and/or name of the child a secret. If I didn’t know that they were keeping it a secret and I asked, I was always fine if the answer was that they weren’t telling anyone.

      If they try to say its hard for them to get you presents, I suggest telling them what color the nursery is going to be if you have something like green or yellow picked out (or the theme if you’re going with bears, etc). That will give them guidance if they are honestly trying to just get a place to start for presents. Unfortunately, it won’t help if they’re just badgering you for their own curiosity.

    9. People are so rude and intrusive with pregnancy — it’s really unbelievable. I got a gender disappointment comment from my mother of all people (who fancies herself a tolerant liberal, but really really REALLY wanted a granddaughter and said she had “no reason to visit” us when she found out I was having a boy). I just said “what a horrible thing to say,” and she was sufficiently abashed and never mentioned it again. I also get the “so many boys in your family!!!” commen a lot, to which I just respond with “I know, right?” Either way, I give you full permission to avoid all social engagements with these people until the baby is born.

      1. Congrats on keeping your head and coming back so clearly and strongly when your mother said such a hurtful thing!

    10. “Well, maybe I’ll have a boy and he’ll change his mind later in life, and you can have both!” Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. Maybe just, “oh, well as long as it’s healthy I’m happy.”

      Not TTC just yet, but these stories make me not excited about the mass comments on pregnancy.

    11. Can I just say, I’m sorry that the people around you are being like this? How annoying! And rude!

      On a slightly related note, gender identity in children begins to form around the age of three (or so Wikipedia says), so the kid could care less about “gender-appropriate” (let’s not crack that egg open right now) gifts for a while.

    12. That’s not really any of your business. And walk off.

      Anyone who cares about you will realize they’ve behaved like an a**. Anyone who doesn’t care about you will be offended enough they stop bothering you. Win win as I see it.

    14. “Do you know what it is?”

      “Yes, my doctor says it’s a baby.”

      I used that one more than once, with good results.

      (We knew our babies’ genders from testing, but I resented everyone needing to know.)

      1. THIS would be my response.

        If I ever get pregnant, I am using it at the first opportunity.

      2. +1 on the sentiment. (Not planning to be pregnant again.)

        Mamabear, this is excellent–the the shutter-upper equivalent of Leonardo da Vinci’s “David”! It’s factual, it carries the imprimatur of the appropriate medical authority, and it offers NO openings for further intrusive questions. I’d love to borrow this and adapt it for other health-related nosiness (e.g. “My doctor says it’s a chronic condition, but easily treated and not at all life-threatening”) but because it’s impossible to modify perfection I will simply admire from afar.

    15. Love all of the responses!! If you do actually take people’s concern about having trouble finding gender neutral gifts seriously (which you shouldn’t b/c they can certainly figure it out on their own but taking them seriously may diffuse the tension) – why not say – green and yellow [insert your color choice here] are great gender neutral colors.

        1. The handmade hat is awesome! I’m so impressed. I would never go to that much trouble for a costume for anything.

        2. Dang that outfit looks amazing! I am so impressed, says the girl who is a cat for every costume thing that has ever happened.

        3. That’s fabulous. Amazing dress. Well done! Though you might run into trouble pairing the nude fishnet with turquoise strap on the shoe. In that case, you can always try for a nude shoe or darker fishnet.

        4. Gorgeous. I love it! Can I suggest, though, rather than fishnets, nude seamed stockings? It just depends on how era-appropriate you are going for…

  7. Ladies I need your advice..

    I have always been insecure of myself and I have a hard time separating my insecurities out from my intuition. I am feeling very confused because I was accepted to my dream school and now I am wondering if I really want to go back to school at all.

    I’ve managed to think up a whole host of reasons why I shouldn’t go: I’m too old (I’d be 31 when I graduate), It will cost too much money (thankfully my husband has a good job), the money would be better spent on a house instead, my poor husband will feel loney when I am too busy studying, I won’t find a job, I’m not smart enough, I won’t be able to compete for a job, I’ll fail out, I’ll put more pressure on my marriage by going to school, we will have to postpone starting a family….

    I can’t tell anymore if this is my intuition telling me to reconsider or if this is my insecurity rearing its ugly head – again. I have made decisions my whole life based on my insecurities and I don’t want to do it again, but at the same time I believe in the power of trusting your gut. How do you reconcile the two?

    1. Well you don’t say what kind of school this is for. Will this help your career? there are some programs where I think going back to school wouldn’t be worth it, but most of your post seems like startling insecurity. Have you tried therapy for this issue?

    2. Therapy. Seriously. When you can’t trust your gut, you need an outside moderator to help you recalibrate it. See if your school will let you defer for a year or a semester, go to therapy, and then figure out where you are.

    3. if it’s law school, go play with the debt wizard over on michigan law’s webpage.

      perhaps play with people you trust telling you to do one thing or the other and seeing how you feel?

      Also, being 31 when you graduate IMHO isn’t so bad, depending on what you what you are going to school for.

    4. “I’m too old (I’d be 31 when I graduate)”

      Just burst out laughing.

      I knew plenty of people who turned 30 while in law school. They’re doing just fine.

      2. +1, Herbie. I turned 30 before I graduated from med school. Life has been fine.

  8. From one thing to another…has anyone here used Ally Bank for savings accounts? Good experience? Looks like they are offering 0.90% whereas my former ING, now Capital One account only offers 0.75%. I just like how easy it is to set up differently named accounts like “house savings,” “car maintenance,” etc.

    1. I switched to my DH’s Ally savings account when we got married (prior to which I had used CapitalOne). I have been fine with both. However, interest rates are so low right now that if you find ING to be significantly more useful, it might be worth it to stay there for now. You are not going to be earning much more right now at 0.90% than at 0.75%. (If you had $100K in the account, you would make an additional $150 in a year. I think you can make that much by putting a much smaller amount into a crappy savings account at Chase or pretty much anywhere else and earning basically 0% on it.)

    2. I have a savings account with Ally, but I only opened it two months ago. Set up was easy, and so far I’m pleased.

    3. If you’re in Canada, I believe they were recently bought by RBC and they’re closing the high-interest savings accounts here and transferring them to RBC (with the accompanying low-interest rate, no doubt), so you can no longer open an Ally account.

      If you’re in the US, I have no comment.

    4. I have a few savings accounts at Ally. They have a few features the former ING doesn’t have, including paper checks for their interest checking (ING only offers a debit card) and the ability to deposit directly into Ally accounts via cell phone photo, rather than having to transfer from a brick-and-mortar bank. So far no problems.

      1. ING (now capital one 360) now offers both paper checks and the ability to deposit by cell phone.

  9. Trying to keep details as vague as possible here to protect the innocent.

    I’m a mid-year at busy law firm. Opposing counsel is a mid-year at not so busy law firm with a rich client. This means he is doing loads of work that may or may not be necessary. It seems opposing counsel works on his case against me all day every day. I have many other cases I am working on. Opposing counsel calls or emails me several times a day. If it is a call and I don’t take it, I get an email within an hour, cc’ing my partner and his partner. The issues are not particularly urgent and the type I would usually expect to wait a few days to receive a response. Opposing counsel, however, just doesn’t let up. I started sending quick emails to say “got your email, wrapped up in another matter, I’ll get back to you by Wed.” My boss thinks replying to the hounding gives opposing counsel too much power and lets him think he deserves these snappy responses. I just am so sick of the blinking red light on my voicemail taunting me and I just can’t give this case anywhere near the amount of attention opposing counsel is giving it.

    So, how do you all manage the needy opposing counsel?

    2. If your partner is on board with your response times (as in, agreeing that it’s not urgent), then just follow that schedule. It sounds like your partner has given you guidance on how to deal with him.

      Maybe tape a piece of black electrical tape over the blinking red eye?

      1. +1. Let the calls go to voicemail and respond on your time. I would not respond with a date on which you will more fully reply because then you’re setting arbitrary deadlines for yourself. This counsel seems like the type to complain to the judge that you said you would respond by Wednesday but failed to do so.

    3. I ignore them. I don’t work for them, and I don’t believe the rules of professional conduct require me to respond instantly to their demands.

    4. I’ve gently called them out on it over the phone “Hi, I’m calling to respond to your three voicemails and two emails, this is a lot of communication over x detail, please give me adequate time to respond before follow up contact.” It’s worked.

  10. NYT Motherlode Blog had an interesting post on being pregnant while in grad school (law/med/etc.). I feel like it’s so often viewed as an irresponsible decision but is it really any more difficult to handle than taking time off when you’re already a few years into your career? I don’t think I was nec. ready for a baby when I was in law school, but it certainly would have been easier to have one then than it is to take time out of my career now… Not to say that I regret my decision, but I do think it makes a good option for a lot of women, esp. if schools could create more of a framework for this sort of thing. Am I crazy for thinking this? Sometimes I wonder if it always just seems easier in retrospect/a grass is greener type of thing…

    http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/03/04/pregnant-without-a-policy-in-graduate-school/?hp

    1. I had my son during the first week of my second year of law school (26 years ago!) and it was one of the best decisions I ever made. My schedule was reasonably flexible when he was tiny, I didn’t have to go to work full time until he was two, and now he’s grown and launched and I’m still reasonably young. Oh, and I graduated on time!

      1. I think that because we grow up thinking getting pregnant while you’re still in school (the generic “school”) is always a negative, this translates to grad school when many women are in their prime child bearing years, whatever that actually means. But especially because so many women take time off to work or travel between college and grad school, it really may be the best time for them to actually have a baby. I wish more people discussed this as an option and I am glad that your decision worked out so well for you, Senior Attorney. In my law school class, a number of my male classmates had babies (some during finals) but only one woman got pregnant and I recall it was rather shocking and everyone assumed that it was a) a huge accident and b) that she would immediately drop out. Not sure about the first part, but she didn’t drop out and now has a great career and a great kid.

    2. I was born when my mom was in residency for medicine. I turned out all right! It was hectic for her, but ultimately fine. We lived close to her hospital and my dad had a good job.

    3. I knew 2 women who had their kids while we were all in a PhD program together. I remember thinking “whoa, so brave!” but since then I’ve certainly come around to see it as a pretty feasible plan compared to early career periods (for most). While working on our dissertations, we had more control over our schedules than ever before or since. When you have to teach, you have to teach, but sometimes you’re on a grant and don’t need to be on campus at all. One of these women even balanced childbearing with her overseas fieldwork. They did take more time to complete the degree than some others, but there isn’t much of a penalty for doing so. As for how it was perceived, I think attitudes varied. But the point is they weren’t at the mercy of any particular policy at the time because so much of their schedules and duties were up to them already.

      Lab sciences would have been totally different, I know.

    4. I had my daughter (a planned pregnancy) at the start of my second year of grad school. DH and I were both full-time students with .5 assistantships and it worked out beautifully – we were able to arrange our schedules such that we didn’t need any daycare until she was about 10 months old – and we lived about 8 hours away from the closest family. However, back in those days (26 years ago), health insurance through the university did not include pregnancy coverage so we paid for her out of pocket. More than a little risky in hindsight, but I was young (25) and healthy and there were no problems. Having her at that point in our life was probably one of the smartest things we did.

      1. anon2, high five for the 26-years-ago grad school babies! Mine is now a Marine!

        I was lucky because my then-husband had good health insurance through his employer. (Although at the time epidurals for labor and delivery apparently weren’t the standard of care so things got pretty ugly with nothing between me and the pain but a demerol drip…)

        1. Congrats on your Marine – my daughter is also well-launched, working in finance in NYC. I tell many young women that I mentor (but not my daughter – that’s a little too much pressure ;) ) that having my child early was the smartest thing I could have done for my career and life. Couple that with the fact I worked the early part of my career in state government that was very family friendly, I now have the luxury of working for myself (after paying for $200K of DD’s tuition) and still being young – yes, we are young – enough to devote all the time I want – or don’t want – to my consulting business.

    5. Worked out that way for me. I was 5 months pregnant with #1 on graduation day and 4 months pregnant with #2 when my clerkship ended. I took my time off when I was the least valuable to the firm, and “grew up” in the job having to manage the balancing. Had I gone to law school at 22/23, that likely would not have been my choice, but as I worked a different job for 8 years prior to law school, the timing just worked out. If I’d waited 5-6 years, it would have likely been more difficult because I would have been changing expectations…

    6. This is interesting. I’m in a PhD programme and my rheum told me, ‘if you are thinking about getting pregnant in the next few years, we’ll need to discuss possible precautions.’ My response was a shocked, ‘I’m a student’ and she rolled her eyes and said, ‘you’re going to be 30 by the time you finish, you’re not exactly a fresher.’

      There is no one pregnant in my programme at the moment but a few people who got pregnant while in the writing up stage which seems to work for them. But I’m in the UK so maybe it is different with medical care?

  11. I’m (finally?) breaking up with my boyfriend tonight. I was going to do it yesterday after church, but he was just so nice to me that I didn’t have the heart to do it. I told my sister and one of my friends that I was going to do it yesterday, and have been avoiding their calls all day because I didn’t want to tell them I wimped out. We’ve been together almost a year, love each other and were discussing marriage, but it’s just not working. Our personalities, communication styles, etc are not compatible and (imo) he’s not flexible enough and expects me to change too much (I’ve tried!) in order to make it work. I’d definitely appreciate moral support from the hive!

    1. If you’re sure you need to do it, Do It. It’s more heartless to string him along than to break up with him. Waiting might feel better to you, but it’s not doing him any favors. (Just keep reminding yourself of that when you think you’ll wimp out. I’ve been there. I get it. But if you don’t want to be “mean,” buck up and remember keeping it to yourself is meaner.) Good luck.

    2. I agree with TBK – you’re dreading it, but it’s only fair that if you’re done, you cut him loose. I know that takes a ton of strength, and it’s hard, but it’s the best thing for all involved.

      I’m sorry you’re going through this – and good luck!

    3. Rip that bandaid. It will be awful in the moment, but once you’re alone the sense of relief you feel will be amazing.

    4. Do it. It may take awhile, but ultimately things will only get better once you rip off that band-aid.

  12. Re-Posting from the Hunt (thank you for those who already provided advice!)
    DH and I are getting ready to put our house on the market. Anyone have home staging tips to share? Thanks!

    1. People will open up and look in every area – closets, under the sink, in the oven, in the fridge, etc. Get everything neat and organized. I was at an open house once where the owners clearly stashed stuff in their closets right before the showing, and someone opened the hall closet only to have a basketball fall on them from a shelf.

      I’ve also read that you shouldn’t have your own family photos out (or at least not too many) so that people can really picture themselves really living in your home. I don’t know how much that’s really necessary, but I am sure it can’t hurt.

  13. Have any DC lawyers gone job hunting lately? I’m just starting and wondering what the market is like. Is it still taking people a year or more to find something, or is it more like a few months these days? (Yes, I realize the sequester is its own beast, but let’s say pre-sequester, just to get a baseline.) Thanks!

    1. I have not but know people who are searching. The feeling I’m getting is that it’s worse than it was. Sequster aside, most federal agencies have frozen hiring. That impacts the private sector too since attorneys from firms who would like to go to the public sector can’t. It does not help that Patton Boggs just laid off a bunch of people.

    2. What’s your practice area? IP is pretty hot, although still competitive. Are you in BigLaw now? Do you want to lateral?

      In-house positions are scarce and very competitive – most companies I worked with wanted a truly one-of-a-kind amazing candidate, but wanted to pay them below market.

      1. My practice area is securities with an emphasis on internal investigations/oversight and some litigation. I’m currently in a non-law oversight position (think OIG, but not actually OIG). I have BigLaw experience and came from a T14 school. I’m about eight years out of school.

  14. Also would appreciate thoughts on a subtle good sent (don’t want to be overpowering, but would like someone to walk in say “oh, this smells good.)”
    I feel like it is hard to smell your own home.
    FWIW, I live in the south in an area that tends to be very humid, so leaving a window open is not always an option.

    2. I use the Pier 1 diffusers. Everyone likes Spiced Cake. I would avoid florals.

      Also, about staging, I don’t know how much time/money you have, but updating blinds and light fixtures in my house has made a huge difference. I’m not selling but it’s been a great easy update.

      1. I hate artificial scents, so I would say flowers if you do anything. Otherwise nothing, or bake cookies the day before.

        Get everything out of the house – storage unit, etc. – basically pack up all your stuff as if you were moving already, and get it out. New paint!

        1. when i was looking, several apartments had chocolate chip cookies (that had been just baked, and that the brokers were offering during the house).

        2. Agreed. Artificial scent would make me just walk out of the house. Flowers, on the other hand, would make me feel relaxed and happy.

          1. A lot of people have floral/fragrance allergies. I’d recommend slice and back cookies or crock pot air freshener with whole cloves, vanilla pods, cinnamon sticks, etc.

          2. I never use any kind of artificial scent, so I’m really sensitive to it and it turns me off. Even scents that a lot of people consider “clean” (like dryer sheets) really irritate me. When we were house hunting and went through houses that had artificial scents (be it popourri, plug in scents, diffusers or whatever) my first thought was always: what are they trying to cover up? I’m also allergic to a lot of flowers, so unfortunately large arrangements of fresh flowers would just send me from the house sneezing before I had a chance to get a good impression. I would suggest getting a neutral impression if at all possible (ask your realtor?) and if you have any odor concerns, running an air purifier with an activated charcoal filter (and removing it before showing – hide it in your trunk or your car, if necessary). Fabrics in your home can hold onto scents, so if you can, clean as many of those as possible (shampoo carpets, air out rugs and curtains, remove any pet blankets and beds).

            For a “real” smell that is pleasant but not overwhelming, I would peel a lemon or an orange in the kitchen just before a showing, or grind slices of citrus in the garbage disposal.

    3. For scents, I would go with things that smell light, fresh and airy. Maybe put out some fresh cut flowers? I’ve heard that smells of vanilla or other smells that simulate baking cookies also put people in a pretty good mood. Whatever you choose, make sure it is not at all overpowering and is just a “hint” (and remember that people touring your home may have sensitivities to certain perfumes, so try to stay as natural as possible in the scent space).

      If it tends to be really humid, maybe consider investing in a dehumidifier for certain rooms (particularly the entry space) — unless you have AC.

      1. Good thoughts – and I do have AC, summers necessitate it on the gulf coast.

    4. I saw a random tip on HGTV one time that you should make sure you clean out your garbage disposal/sink drain (if you have a disposal). There is special foaming soap for this. It’s one source of odor that people never think about. Oh, and keep your toilet seats down for showings! (obviously you would have clean toilets, but it’s just a thing)

    5. Simmer a pot of water with any combo of: cinnamon (sticks or powdered), cloves, dried citrus peel, few drops of vanilla. Just don’t let it dry up because then the spices will burn and really stink (just keep adding water as long as you want the smell going). I bet you could even do this in an uncovered crock pot, which would generate much less heat.

      1. I do this in the winter when it’s too cold to open the windows. My mixture is cinnamon sticks, vanilla, and sliced (too old to eat for picky me) apples, oranges and lemons.

    6. There was just something on NPR about a study on just this – I think they said that lemon and basil scents got better reaction from home buyers than the cookie scent – try searching the npr site.

    8. I have Mrs. Meyers candles in lemon and basic and they are wonderfully refreshing, light, and amazing. I stole this tip from a restaurant in DC called Founding Farmers which only uses Mrs. Meyers products (they also make hand soap and dish soap) and their bathrooms smell phenomenal

      1. I religiously buy Mrs. Meyers dish and hand soap for my kitchen in the Basil scent – wonderful!

    9. H and I are currently hunting. I like the super clean houses with no artificial scent. Hire a cleaning service, have carpets and furniture professionally cleaned, and move all pets out.

    1. This was always my issue with Caitlin Flanagan, whom I mostly hate-read (new phrase to me, gleaned from y’all.)

      Flanagan is always writing about how a woman’s place is in the home – yet she’s a professional writer with nanny/nannies at all times. It’s been pointed out plenty of times that she’d be pretty scr3wed if her nannies decided she was right and stayed home with their own kids.

      So here’s Sheryl Sandberg saying women should be serious about their careers and she gets the same backlash.

      Feels like this is all just a little bit aimed at putting women in their place.

  16. Does anyone have a recommendation on where to stay in Gulf Shores – either a part of the island or a specific complex? Or did you hate Gulf Shores? I want someplace beachfront to take my husband and 2 small kids. I’d like a nice beach, nice pool and a balcony so the hubs and i can look at the water and drink wine during nap time and after the kids’ early bedtime. I started looking online and the choices are overwhelming, so I’m looking for some wisdom from you wise travelers!

    1. I don’t know about Gulf Shores, but my parents love Seaside, Fl, which is about 2 hours from Gulf Shores, I think. (It’s where the Truman Show was filmed). I haven’t been myself, but they always have a good time.

    2. I love Gulf Shores!! I am not sure how large of a place you are wanting, but for condos, I have stayed in Lei Lani condos twice and been happy both times. One of the units we stayed in was a lot nicer than the other, though, so look at photos and reviews. We went through V R B O dot com. I have also stayed at Grand Pointe, which we booked through Meyer Real Estate, but you can also book through V R B O. I think that technically, both of those units are in Orange Beach, not Gulf Shores, but the two towns are barely discernible, in my opinion. If you are looking for a larger place to stay, I recommend renting a house in Gulf Shores itself. There are many to choose from. I have incredibly fond childhood memories of the house we rented every year. (Sunny Delight, through Meyer Real Estate.)
      I hope you enjoy it if you go. I can’t wait to go again.

    3. I just read your whole post. I got excited and responded too quickly. Nix Lei Lani. The outdoor pool is no good. It’s more of a bargain place, less of a family place. Grand Pointe in Orange Beach, AL is for sure my recommendation, for your requirements.
      Food recs: Cosmos, Lulu’s with the kids, Voyagers restaurant, located in the Perdido Beach Resort, is also out of this world. You may want to check rates at Perdido Beach Resort, depending upon your budget. It’s a lovely place as well.

  17. I’d appreciate advice on business attire in Zurich, if anyone has experience. I just found out that I need to visit a client site there early next week for meetings spanning 2 business days. I work in an extremely conservative industry, maybe a hair less conservative than private banking. The other meeting participatnts are, for the most part, older men (by 20 – 40 years, and I’m 43).

    For a meeting in NYC I would wear my standard uniform of a suit with black pants and some sort of a shell underneath on day 1 and a navy or gray pants suit on day 2 with a different shell. Maybe I would bring the black skirt that matches the jacket from suit 1 and wear that on day 2 instead. I feel more comfortable in pants than skirts for all day meetings; I feel absolutely uncomfortable in button down shirts as they never fit me well.

    My instinct is to go with a skirt suit (with hose, obviously) and button down, though I really don’t want to, due to the location and other participants. Goes without saying that I need to make a great impression on the client and this will be our first in-person meeting. I will be more comfortable in pants and I think that’s worth something.

    What would you wear?

    1. I flew into Zurich this morning! I’m in Germany now, but FWIW, I haven’t found the people in the airport or the offices I visited in Germany to be any more formal than at home in the US.

      More importantly though, if you’re not comfortable in skirts and button downs (I’m not either), I wouldn’t wear them for a meeting where I need to exude confidence. I don’t see how a high quality pantsuit with conservative silk blouse and conservative heels can be read as inappropriate – but then I’m not in banking, etc.

    2. I don’t think a button down shirt is more formal for a woman than a silk blouse. Indeed, if anything, I think it’s a little less formal. I’ve never been to Zurich, but I have been to client meetings in Geneva, and I felt perfectly comfortable wearing a pants suit.

      1. You’re probably right. Generally the button down is percieved as more ‘authoritative’ though.

        I just really want permission to wear pants. Thanks!

        1. Wear the pants! It’s really ok. I don’t have experience in Zurich specifically, but I have had international clients and matters and I do not think it matters.

  18. Re-posting here from nude shoe discussion: Anyone ever funded a loan through a p2p company like lending club? I’m really interested in the idea & would love to hear about any personal experiences with it.

  19. I currently work full time and just realized that an important meeting got scheduled for the same time as my impending out-of-state grad school interview. Would it be terrible for me to move the interview? I can make it work but I’d rather not.

    To make it even more horrible, the interview is scheduled for later this week.

    1. How big is the interview? Is it just with one faculty member and/or the entire admissions committee? How far are you in terms of the process (like you are basically in, and this is an interview to make sure you’re not a terrible social fit or is it important in selling yourself)?

      From my own experience with the process, I would say the majority of interviews are ‘fit’/’make sure you’re good in person when you great on paper’ interviews and it would be fine to move it. Also, since you are currently working, I think you can beg a work obligation and move it.

      On the other hand, if you have already taken a day off for the important meeting, is it possible to have that meeting re-scheduled?

      1. In my social sciences discipline, grad student interviews were generally seen as a nice thing for the potential student. Sometimes we got hints to be impressive with a student who faculty really wanted, but generally it was just a chance for them to come check out the dept.

  20. Kudos to customer service at Talbots. I had an order mix-up and got transferred a couple of times before finding somebody who could help me. She gave me a generous discount and free 2nd day shipping.

  21. I bought a pair of Jones New York pumps at DSW this weekend, and upon first wearing today I am very impressed. They are super comfortable with a lightly padded footbed. Though the jury is still out on durability, I am so happy with them I decided to look at their other shoes and came across these tall boots (on sale for $79, originally $225) in an array of subtle but unusual colors: http://www.jny.com/The-Gabriella/26582973,default,pd.html?variantSizeClass=&variantColor=JJ0GQB3&cgid=25142475&prefn1=catalog-id&prefv1=jonesny-catalog. If I get them it would probably just be the suede but thought I’d post in case anyone was looking for a little croc embellishment.

    1. Those are beautiful! I’d buy those in the black suede in a heartbeat if they had them in my size.

  22. A pussy-bow long sleeved silk blouse with black trouser suit should be suitable as well as perfectly feminine to wear. Pointed black stilettos are a must with a trouser suit if you want to look really chic.

  23. Long time reader, first time poster!

    I am in the position of interviewing for a new job while I currently have a job. This is a first for me, as I’ve only been in the workforce for a few years. I have not told my supervisor that I have even been applying elsewhere.

    I was wondering when I should mention to my current supervisor that I have applied to another position. The position I applied for has 2 phases of interviews and I have the 1st one this week. I will only get a second interview if the first one goes well. Would it be appropriate to wait until I see if I get a second interview to tell my supervisor?

    My fear is that the new job will call my current employer before I have had the chance to tell her I had applied to the new job, blindsiding her. But I’d also rather not advertise that I’m job searching if I don’t have to.

    For context, I work in the non-profit world, in social services. Any thoughts would be appreciated!

    1. I wouldn’t say anything unless I had an actual offer. While this may seem sneaky, you don’t know yet if the prospective job works out, and if doesn’t it will be even more awkward and your boss will treat you different knowing you have one foot out the door. Use your PTO to do the interviews and keep the details vague as to your reason for leaving.

    2. Don’t tell your supervisor until you have an actual offer in writing. Unless things are handled very differently where you work than in most offices, you only need to give the appropriate two weeks’ notice after accepting the new job – that’s pretty much standard, and it’s not considered “blindsiding” (unless your manager is someone who takes resignations very personally, in which case you DEFINITELY shouldn’t say anything until you receive an offer).

      There’s a chance that if you tell her and you don’t get the job, she’ll take that as notice that you intend to keep looking and that she should be looking for a replacement.

    3. I’m in this situation, too! Although you’re a bit further along than I am–I only just started sending out applications this weekend.

      I’m going to wait to tell my supervisor until I’m asked for references during the interview phase. That’s the point at which most companies seem to be pretty settled on their finalists, and that’s also the point at which people besides just me and the new company will know about my prospects, so that feels fair.

      Of course, I feel racked with guilt over the big new project that I’m trying to launch at my current job while also looking for a new gig. If anyone has any ideas on how to keep “leaning in” while also looking out, I’d be grateful.

      1. Thanks for the advice all! Much appreciated.

        I’ve decided to take all your advice and not mention anything to my supervisor unless I get an offer. It feels strange to withhold this info, since we are a small office, but I think it is the best route to go. She has taken other staff member’s resignations somewhat personally in the past.

  24. I feel like I’m in a timewarp…but maybe it’s just my computer. I don’t see a post for today (Tuesday) – is it me or the site?

    1. I don’t see one either – and I’ve been checking frequently.

      Also, when I first come to the site, I see the ASOS eyeglasses post and it says there are 89 comments. Then I click to read the comments …. and there are 190, not 89.

      Kat, are the tech gremlins at work again?

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