This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
I'm always a fan of sporty jackets like this one for outdoor fall/winter exercising and errands — I like the fitted look, the thumbholes, the fun colors. The pictured jacket has Primaloft insulation (“warm, even when wet”) and promises to be water-resistant and wind-resistant. Nice!
We haven't talked to much about Lululemon on the blog — what are some of your favorite things to get there, readers? I know I've heard a number of readers sing the praises of their Enlite bras…
The pictured jacket is $198, available in six colors, sizes 0-14.
For a muuuuuch more affordable option (but do note that the zipper broke quickly on the one I got), this FILA Sport jacket is down to $33 today and available in sizes XS-XXL.
This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
Sales of note for 10.10.24
- Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
- Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
- White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles
Sales of note for 10.10.24
- Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
- Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
- White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Anonymous
What is a ballpark reasonable price for interior shutters (“plantation style”)? Obviously there’s tons of customization but we got a quote today for $4500 for 7 fairly standard sized windows (inc. install). I think it’s high but sort of in the realm of what I was expecting. my husband thinks it’s “bonkers.” We are in new england and he is from the south where these style shutters are very common and “nobody there would pay that much!”
So, if you’ve had this style window treatment, is this ballpark? Or did we get a quote from a high end/ pricey designer with a premium product and not know it?
He’s also talking about ordering and installing them himself. He’s very handy and they look fairly straightforward. Has anyone gone this route and could recommend an online retailor that’s product only (no install)?
Senior Attorney
My husband got some at Home Depot some years ago and I am pretty sure they were less than that. Also I’ve had good luck online with stevesblindsandwallpaper.com, although not with that particular style.
Also, in case you care about such things, we decided we were uncomfortable with the name “plantation shutters” and decided that in our house they will henceforth be known as “caribbean shutters.”
Anon
I like that renaming!
I also like that real estate listings have started saying “primary” bedroom instead of “master” — the latter seems so unnecessary now that I’m used to “primary”.
Anonymous
I’ve also heard ‘main bedroom’ which works too.
Senior Attorney
Yes, same here. I like these changes.
anon
Primary or main bedroom is a great change; once I saw a house plan that labeled it “Adult Retreat.”
Anonymous
That sounds like very premium pricing at about $650 per window. Blinds.com are more in the $200 range, and I assume there’s lots of prices in between.
Friday
Were they real wood? They’re probably charging you a premium for install, but TBH, this sounds about in the normal range for wood plantation shutters (I live in TX). We used blinds dot com when we remodeled our house and I recommend them. We measured our windows twice, they cut our honeycomb shades the wrong size, but then sent us correctly sized replacements for free (some of our windows were weird sizes). We had the construction crew install them, but if we had to we could have installed them ourselves.
InHouse Anon
Agree. The quotes we got for real wood plantation shutters for our first home in the SEUS were shockingly expensive (this was ~10 years ago, but more than $10k for our downstairs windows IIRC). We installed faux wood blinds from HD instead. Still love the look of shutters!
anon
We have faux wood after facing similar sticker shock, and I honestly can’t tell a difference, looks wise. The faux wood doesn’t have a fake, plastic-y look.
Anonymous
Not wood, but a higher end composite.
Anonymous
There is a wide range in prices based on quality and materials. We jus ordered shutters for our new home and they were approx. $800 per shutter installed but we upgraded materials and casings.
Anonymous
Including install here is likely what is driving up the price. As with all project around the home that we ‘could’ do ourselves, the question is how much in your time worth? I paint walls or small rooms a lot but I’m not getting into anything that involves a large area like a great room or tricky spaces like ceilings. How long would it take your DH to install the shutters? Is that worth his time or better to pay someone?
anon
Yikes that sounds like how much it cost us to install the actual windows a couple of years ago. We’re not fancy and got our blinds from Home Depot ($250 for 7 windows), and the window guys installed them for us as they finished the window installation.
Anonymous
I got my wood composite plantation shutters installed by a local Budget Blinds person and I believe it was 6K for 15 windows–some of them quite large. So yes, that seems high. Shop around. I felt like I spent a lot but they have been worth every penny.
anne-on
I just got what I would consider a VERY reasonable quote, and we booked them on the spot – $500 per window including install, and they had lots of nice options for customization included (we could pick louver size, it was inside mount, ‘mouse hole’ levers, etc.). They have their own factory down south which I realize is rare. Local shutter places are kind of a dying breed, so I’m not entirely shocked at the price you got.
aBr
Not insane if the shutters are not off the shelf. There is also a big difference between “fairly standard size” and actually standard sized windows. Co-signed, just replaced not-quite-standard sized windows.
Anonymous
OP here- thanks everyone! You confirmed that it’s just an expensive purchase. I think there is a bit of shopping around to do yet but it’s going to be $500+/window which was what I had in my head.
Essential+in+Texas
We are in the South (Texas) and paid $6,500 for our entire house to have plantation shutters built and installed when we built our house 4 years ago. We have 9 windows.
Anonymous
Talk to me if you have a duffel bag you like that has multiple pockets/compartments so your shoes are separated from your clothes, your electronics are in their own zippered pocket. I know people use packing cubes etc. to create compartments but I feel like in the past I have had bags with built in compartments. Also prefer something that isn’t a rolling duffel as it’s not necessarily for major travel, more like going home for 2 weeks and need an extra bag for a few more sweaters.
BB
Check out Patagonia’s collections! For ~10 years, I had one of their over the shoulder bags, which was like mini-duffle size. It was good for about a week of travel and had lots of compartments for things. Not sure what their current collection looks like, but should have some options.
Tessa Karlov
More of a gymgoing vibe (remember gyms?) but I like the adidas sport to street tote because of the compartments and how compact it is!
anne-on
Yes, I love the Lo and Sons Catalina Deluxe Small. The bottom compartment having shaping around it is key – I can (and have) shoved my laptop in there (in a sleeve!) and used it as my only bag for a 2-night work trip. It is also shockingly big if you’re a good packer – I’ve used it as my only bag for a casual 3 day trip. The tote is what I would get for gym bag purposes, I also think its more unisex than the OMG – my male boss asked me what it was (the deluxe small) and promptly got one of his own for his work/gym bag – the bottom compartment is also great for stashing dirty clothes in away from your other stuff. And the entire bag washes easily once you remove the shaping /foam padding on the straps.
Anon
I also have and love this bag for all the reasons you listed! It is very sturdy and incredibly well designed.
King Kong Bags
I love my King Kong Bag and their warranty is in line with LL Bean/Patagonia.
Anonymous
Reposting as I was a little late on the morning thread, thanks for all who responded. I need a gut check on communicating with my BF. Months ago, we agreed we’d like to be engaged by the end of the year and have a tiny wedding/elopement in spring 2021. We talked about going ring shopping together (online or in person by appointment, which is allowed). We recently stopped using BC (we’re late 30s and don’t want to lose a couple of months).
Well it’s November and I haven’t heard anything about getting engaged/married. A couple nights ago, I asked if he was still comfortable with the timeline. He kind of clammed up, but said nothing has changed. I suggested we should ring shop together soon because it can take a while to make a final decision, get something ordered, shop around, etc. He mumbled something about how he has trouble talking about feelings (??) and then basically shut down. I was so confused, I thought this was a happy conversation! I asked if he was having second thoughts and he said no. I let it go that day because he looked so uncomfortable, I figured maybe he needed to sleep on it. I brought it up the next day – like hey what was up with yesterday can you please talk to me – and he clammed up again. We’ve always had good communication, I’m so sad that he’s suddenly shutting me out. I’m feeling confused and hurt and worried. Where do I go from here?
To respond to some comments – I’d be ok in theory if he wanted to focus on being co-parents, but we would need to hammer that out. Otherwise I need to start working on having a baby on my own.
Anonymous
Maybe try and talk to him about your plans for parenthood … ask him some planning questions about stuff like IDK health insurance for the baby or building a nursery or hiring help or what coparenting would look like if you don’t get married/split up … see if he is really moving forward mentally about parenthood or if he is shutting down there too. Maybe he’s fine with the dream but not the reality/practical aspects of building a life together … or maybe he’s caught up in feeling a cultural obligation to surprise you with a romantic proposal? It’s difficult to know from limited info.
Anonymous
I don’t think you should be having unprotected relations until you are engaged if you aren’t fully confident in the process. It’s possible he’s changed his mind. It’s possible he wants it to be a surprise- your time line was end of the year, the year is not over, and he said the timeline hasn’t changed. Since you already agreed to end of year, I’d give it until then and if not, leave.
Kitten
This is my thought process also. You already discussed the timeline and you brought it up again recently. Since the year is almost over, I’d completely drop it and see what he does. If he doesn’t propose or even discuss needing more time, I would dump him in January. I’ve been in this position before, and it’s literally been on me every single time to end the relationship because most men are more than happy enough to string along a forever-GF. Having “trouble talking about feelings” at his age is an unforgiveable excuse for wasting your time or causing this kind of anxiety for you. (but if you can’t already tell, i just can’t with most men)
Anon
Amen.
ArenKay
This, 100%. And I’m sorry you are going through this.
Monday
I’m so sorry you’re in this situation. I’d be feeling the same way.
This weekend, I would sit him down and calmly say that you understand he’s struggling to talk about this, but he needs to find a way. It’s not ok for you to be wondering what’s going on in your relationship. You’d agreed to get engaged this year, it’s mid-November, and he’s avoiding the topic. If he says he needs some time to think about it, tell him you’ve already given him time. Now he needs to start communicating, even if he doesn’t think you’ll like what he has to say.
Others may think this is overly confrontational. However, I have been in the situation of living with someone who’s just casually kicking around the idea of dumping you, maybe sometime in the future, with incoherent thoughts or no communication. Even a single day of that is agony. Time’s up. If even after this conversation he can’t express himself, I’d honestly look at moving out or asking him to do so. As SA said this morning, past a point, no answer is your answer.
Good luck, and let us know what happens.
Anonymous
I actually wouldn’t do this. You should not have to prod things along. Frankly, you’ve already done more than you should have to. I wouldn’t want to be married to someone whom I felt like I had to push to make a decision. If he doesn’t initiate this convo with you by January, then you have your answer. You deserve to be with someone who is equally excited about a future. I wouldn’t settle for a relationship where I felt like I had to be the lone adult figuring out the practicals. (Unless you think it might be a money issue with the ring…?) I’ve been married 14 years now. We were engaged 3 months in and married 9 months in. When you know, you know. Every day I’m thankful that he’s just as much invested in making things work, from figuring out what we’ll have for dinner to choosing which handyman should fix the back door. You’re not his manager on this–you don’t want to set that vibe. If he’s not ready for whatever reason, then the last thing you want to do is’ to try to talk him into it. That’s just setting the stage for a lot more pain in the future. You deserve someone just as invested as you. And the last thing I would do is throw a baby in the mix right now.
Monday
To me, hanging around in this relationship until January is way more work than just saying you need to hear what’s going on now. (I am definitely not saying she should try to “talk him into it”–she’d be asking a totally open-ended question.) The only way to do even less work would be to dump him today.
Anon
The usual battery of questions: how long have you been together? Does he really want kids? Did he seem enthusiastic (not just acquiescing, but enthusiastic) about the timeline? Are you not using any BC at all, or are you using a barrier method? Why has he not been married before now? (The last is not a judgemental question; however, the answer to it will often be very elucidating.)
I am VERY cynical. I’m not a fan of “engaged to be engaged” unless you’re not even legal to drink. There are a few circumstances wherein it makes sense to wait a bit for the engagement, such as a death in the family or waiting to propose on a planned vacation. Otherwise, if he wants to marry you, he’ll propose and set a wedding date. Men are remarkably straightforward like that.
anon
I agree with all this, especially the engaged to be engaged thing excepting very few circumstances.
anon
I’m trying to say this really gently, but do you guys really want to be together, or do you just want to become parents and you’re convenient partners for one another? I responded on the earlier thread and wasn’t even thinking along those lines until I read your second-to-last sentence.
OP
I love the guy to pieces, but we’re friends first and I want him to be happy. If he isn’t as enthusiastic about marriage as he is about being a dad then that’s ok, but we would need to shift our conversations about what the immediate future looks like. Stonewalling isn’t going to work, though.
anon
This is a huge red flag, OP, I am sorry. Engagement is usually joyous and for us it was really easy to talk about. If he can’t talk about something that is supposed to be happy (or feelings in general), how will it be to raise a kid or kids with that kind of clamming up? I say run and get a good sperm donor or adopt. Good luck!
Anon
If you have a baby with him even just as “co-parents”, you will be tied to him forever, even if you meet the guy of your dreams. If you just want a baby, you should work on doing that on your own.
Anon
+1. I’m divorced and in an amicable co-parenting arrangement with my ex, but now that I’ve moved on and am serious with someone else and he isn’t, it’s not fun. I would probably prefer to have had the kid alone, though financially that wasn’t feasible for me.
some thoughts
A few questions (you don’t have to answer but maybe they will help clarify your thoughts about what to do): What were the discussions about getting engaged by the end of the year like (did he seem enthusiastic)? What about the discussion to go off BC (was that a casual thing or more like yes! we are ready to become co-parents to a human!)? Is he the kind of person who would want to surprise you? Would you feel comfortable proposing to him if he doesn’t propose to you on your timeline? How is your relationship going generally? How do you feel about marrying him and spending your life with him? How do you think he feels about you? Is he generally a shy dude/slow to initiate but with other great qualities?
You know your relationship best, but it sounds to me like he is planning to surprise you and doesn’t want to lie or make you feel like he is uninvested but also doesn’t want to blow the surprise. He said nothing had changed from the prior conversations and he was not having second thoughts…
Maybe tell him you are freaked out by the uncertainty and are on the verge of thinking drastic thoughts about the future of the relationship, so if he could give you an indication yes or no that he plans to propose by end of year, you will let it drop but otherwise you need to have a much more serious convo?
Monday
I would love to believe that he just doesn’t want to spoil some surprise he has planned. But there would be plenty of ways to reassure her and gesture to that if that was the case. He’s being too dodgy IMO. Also, previously the plan was that they were going ring shopping together. If he’s departing from that he needs to be clear that it’s for a good reason rather than a bad one. I also don’t like how unilateral it is.
Anon
I’m sorry but if he wanted to get married he would act like it. Don’t settle for a guy who isn’t excited to be with you.
Anon
Also, please do not let your baby timeline tie you to a guy who you would otherwise likely dump (this sounds harsh, but it is offered with the best of intentions). It seems like women feel pressured to do things on a timeline, especially when they think their fertility is an issue. I had a friend who ultimatum’ed her then BF into proposing by a certain deadline and no shocker, they were divorced within two years of getting hitched. Sorry, OP, it just seems like he’s not the guy you are destined to marry, IMO, and I certainly wouldn’t have a baby with someone who can’t talk about their feelings.
anon
I agree with this. I have several people close to me who had to ultimatum their way into a proposal. While all are still married, I would not call them happy marriages. When a dude drags his feet, it’s a flashing indicator light of how marriage is going to go. Maybe not how he feels about you, but certainly how he approaches life in general. Proceed with caution.
OP
Just to be clear because I also saw this down thread – but there’s no ultimatum at play here. When we first talked about it, I asked very open ended questions about his thoughts on timing. He’s the one who said end of the year. Ive never told him and don’t plan to tell him I’m going to leave if it doesn’t happen by the end of the year. I’m just confused that he seemed so gung ho and now he won’t even talk to me.
Anon
Slight voice of dissent. My now husband was STRESSED about getting engaged. He felt a lot of pressure (not from me) to get the perfect ring, plan the perfect proposal, have everything be the perfect surprise, it was a lot. He did not like talking about it. There’s actually a picture of me at our rehearsal dinner looking VERY confused during his dad’s speech when he said my husband was always sure he wanted to marry me, because I certainly did not feel that way.
That being said, I made it known that I didn’t need anything to be perfect, but I did need a commitment and a timeline. I agree with others who have said if it doesn’t happen by the holidays like you agreed, I would get out fast.
anne-on
I would (very hesitantly) agree to give him a bit more time. My then-boyfriend, now husband suddenly didn’t want to talk about getting engaged when we’d already been ring shopping/talked about planning. I was SO upset and we had a big fight. What I didn’t know was that he had the ring and was freaked out I knew about his proposal plans and thought clamming up was the best way to throw me off the trail(why???). I came home, we talked about it, I told him why I was upset, and he promised we’d be engaged in 3 months. It was literally 3 weeks later.
But if he can’t talk about it with you once you tell him you are upset/confused/thinking of moving on I would start planning to leave.
Anonymous
Same. DH was 26 when he proposed. I swear, I thought he was going to break up with me when he did because the week leading up to it he was dodgy/lying, unresponsive and grouchy.
Turns out he was running around trying to plan a surprise which was super difficult because we lived together and saw each other all the time. So I flipped out when he was “at the gym” but I was too and he was not! He was picking up my ring. He wouldn’t go with me to a party and had bad reasons why- turns out he was picking out rings.
same same
I almost broke up with my now-husband because he got so weird right before he proposed. We got married quite young, but he started interviewing for a job in another state. I told him in no uncertain terms that if he wanted me to come with him, I would only do that if we were married. I didn’t know that he’d already started ring shopping and proposal planning when I made that declaration, but he was a few months away from actually proposing. He did a complete 180, commenting that pre-nups are a good idea, not sure if he even believes in marriage, etc. I was literally in tears one night asking him where the heck this was going. Turns out he’s just really really terrible at big surprises. When he proposed, he gave me a journal that dated back six months and detailed his thoughts on how to propose, finding the ring, everything! I explained that for future surprises, he should not pretend that he actually hates whatever the activity/idea/task is, because it almost ended our decade-plus happy marriage (well, it wouldn’t have started, but you get the point).
anonshmanon
Am I the only person seeing the chance that he has put effort into planning a romantic proposal (maybe with holiday festive lights, or winterwonderland, or new years eve, all prime engagement opportunities) and gets flustered when OP pushes because it might ruin the surprise? I could see myself opt for a placeholder ring with joint ring shopping later, so that the actual proposal can come as more of a surprise. You did agree on the end of the year – that’s not over.
Anon
This is the outcome I’m hoping for.
The original Scarlett
Exactly what I’ve been thinking, especially since there’s a lot of tradition baked into their plans – official engagement, ring, possible wedding (sounds like elopement only if Covid’s a problem still), that all sounds like a traditional proposal is in the works and he’s flustered. But I’m a romantic…
Curious
Yeah this is what it sounded like to me, though it’s weird that he wouldn’t have ring shopped with her yet.
AFT
This is the rom-con resolution I’m hoping for.
Anon
Y’all are cute, but I don’t see it. I just see a guy who’s freaked out that the ultimatum deadline OP set for him is quickly approaching. Hope I am wrong, but women who set deadlines for this kind of thing are frequently disappointed, IMHO.
OP
He came up with the end of the year timing, I never gave him an ultimatum or any kind of deadline.
This happened to me!
This happened to me! It was very romantic and thoughtful and we had the same issues a few weeks beforehand when he clammed up out of nerves/not wanting to ruin the surprise. Good luck OP!
Anonymous
I’m definitely coming at this from a biased POV, but I have been dealing the last few months with a male BFF who was struggling with how to tell his new wife that he changed his mind on having kids. Except she is now pregnant — unsurprising because she is late 30s and he avoided the discussion on the change in his mindset. (Yes, I know it is terrible, but I am not in their relationship and am powerless to change it.) I am crossing all my fingers and toes that it works out well, but it’s definitely not a great start and I don’t know whether this marriage is tenable long term.
Do what you can to avoid this.
Anonymous
Nope. He’s a bad person and you need more distance. Boundaries. Get some.
Anon
Well, even if the marriage survives, I don’t have hope that he’d be a great parent!
Wallpaper
I got some vintage Schumacher wallpaper, which I think is a fancy brand. I think it has a vinyl coating on me. This gives me bad flashbacks of using contact paper borders as our decorating on our cinder block dorm walls in college. Not sure I can go there in my big-girl house. Maybe I will frame it and hang that up? It is pretty. Maybe non-vintage wallpaper is just paper? It is shockingly expensive at any rate.
Anon
I mean, there are different kinds of wallpaper and that vinyl coated type is one of the. It’s useful in kitchens and bathrooms because it can be wiped down easily. If it was shockingly expensive, it’s nothing at all like contact paper and I don’t know why you are making that association.
Sigh
We had a family member pass away earlier this week. It was a sad, fast, tragic battle with a terrible brain tumor. Beyond the sheer grief we’re all experiencing (or maybe BECAUSE OF the grief), there have been some truly nasty family dynamics coming out of the woodwork.
Not really here for any other reason but to vent, and now that I think of it, to also encourage people to talk about plans/wishes for your death before your death. It has absolutely brought out the worst in people who have otherwise been a close, loving family all of these years. I don’t want to put my children in the position the surviving family members are in right now. Adulting, man…..
Mrs. Jones
I’m really sorry about your loss.
I second your encouragement to discuss wills, funeral, etc. early and often. Or at least write everything down where people can find it.
CountC
I’m so sorry for your loss.
I saw this play out with a neighbor of mine who was a father figure to me. He died suddendly without a will and it brought out the worst in his daughters and ex-wife, to the detriment of all of them as well as the long-term girlfriend who they didn’t approve of. The house went into foreclosure and, last time I heard, the daughters weren’t speaking to each other. The funeral was held at a church which my neighbor would never have wanted. The whole thing was awful for those of us who cared about him, and of course for his family.
anon
I’m sorry for your loss (and the nastiness that has followed on it!). When my grandma passed away while I was in college, I jokingly said to my boyfriend before leaving for her funeral, “What could be a better recipe for trouble than 20 grieving Type A’s all in one room?!” Sending you hugs.
Anon
I don’t have anything but commiseration for you. My mom died in 2017 and the estate settling went pretty well, but the battle over what to do with her cremation lingers on, with one of my siblings absolutely insisting that they belong with her rather than the niche we already paid for and had a stone engraved for (and sibling was there for all of this!)
It has permanently damaged mine and my other siblings’ relationship with her. And she continues to hold the cremains hostage to this day.
Shelle
Hugs and commiseration. You are not alone in this. When I lost my grandmother, my mom and her five siblings quarreled over issues that were clearly a lifetime in the making. They didn’t speak for nearly a decade after that. Thank you for the reminder to plan these things ahead of time. Although it spiraled into some major family drama that they might have needed to hash out anyway, it all started because there was no clear direction on whether to keep her on life support with very little chance of regaining consciousness.
Anon
So sorry for your loss. Sometimes, people fight because it hurts them less than confronting the loss. Even if plans are crystal clear, they will fight. I experienced this with a sibling following the death of a parent. I was the executor, with detailed instructions, down to music selections, but my brother went off. I believe that his anger was much like someone responding to pain from someone stepping on your foot with You sound like you are trying to extend everyone some grace; that’s the best you can do.
Marie
So sorry to hear about your loss. Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem uncommon that when people are deep in their feelings and grief that they lash out at each other. 100% agree on making it clear what your final wishes are, as it can save a lot of pain for the loved ones who (probably) have the best intentions to do what they think is right, but disagree on what that is. Hopefully, when things feel less raw, everyone can come back together peacefully again.
KW
I am so so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad to a brain tumor when I was in high school. And I’m really sorry that you have the added stress of family drama on top of your grief. Thinking of you.
BeenThatGuy
Let’s talk about kitchen renovations. I’m kicking around the idea of doing my kitchen. We will continue to live in the house during the renovation. I’m okay with design elements and budget. I’m also ok with microwave cooking and washing dishes in the bathtub and all that. But what I can’t get my head around is the mess. I’m a neat freak (and am okay with the work that is involved with being that way). I don’t have an open floor plan so the kitchen could be tarped off at the 2 doorways. But I’m afraid that’s not enough. How do you control the construction dust?
Senior Attorney
You don’t. You just vacuum daily and grin and bear it. (I had a Shark Navigator when I was doing my remodel and it did a pretty decent job on the dust, but I threw it out when we were done because I felt like it would never be clean enough for normal times.)
Anon
+1.
And then when they’re done you super-dust. All of your light fixtures, crown moldings, etc.
Anon
What about this renovation is going to generate a ton of dust? I gutted the kitchen to the studs in my old house, and the only time there was dust was when the countertop installers were doing their thing, and even that was well controlled. Any other cutting/mixing was minimal and done outside in the carport. Even if we did it indoors, it wouldn’t have been enough to matter. Demolition made for a bit of sweeping up, but nothing memorable.
Lily
You can’t, really. The tarps will cut down on a lot, but you need to make sure the contractors actually use them consistently. The demolition phase will also be pretty short. Once that’s done, there won’t be as much dust generated.
Anonymous
You don’t. You get over it or you move out.
AIMS
I agree you don’t but I actually don’t think it’s that big a deal if you have good contractors. We lived thru both a kitchen renovation and a separate pipe replacement mess in each of our bedrooms and I had a newborn and it wasn’t fun but it was fine. All the contractors did a good job of cleaning up after themselves and then I would go over things to my own satisfaction. It was fine.
Senior Attorney
Agreed. The demo phase is pretty bad but that’s only a day or two and you might want to go to a hotel for that part.
In-House in Houston
To anon on the morning thread who was having trouble sleeping: I have been the same way. I’m usually an excellent sleeper but the last few weeks at work have been crazy and my mind is racing. I fall asleep okay but then wake up and my mind is racing. Last night I took one Benadryl at about 8:00 pm and slept great. I didn’t wake up groggy either. I don’t want to do this every night, of course. But you might give it a try.
anon
What are your favorite thin, soft, long-sleeved tops for wearing under sweaters? I need something warm.
Anon
Uniqlo heattech
Senior Attorney
Silk long underwear is the gold standard for this kind of thing, I think.
Kitten
I’ll size down in a Free People thermal for this purpose so that it’s skin-tight. I also have some from the Gap but the FP ones are noticeably better quality.
Anon
Costco 32 Degrees base layers.
nuqotw
Silk long underwear. I have tried so many things and I finally bought silk long underwear this year and I am so toasty. Lands’ End has had some good sales recently.