I have NEVER been able to do false eyelashes, and taking the time to go get lash extensions is just not in the cards for me from a time/money perspective. (I am also mascara challenged.) So this is my magnetic lashes review (specifically, One Two Cosmetics’ Magnetic Lashes)
(2020 update – they’re now available at HSN too!).
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I’m not sure if it’s from the Jenna Marbles video (NSFW) on what your eyelashes mean (she talks about “natural” fake lashes around the 4:40 mark) or this Buzzfeed Ladylike review in general of false eyelashes, but for some reason I keep thinking this is something I need to spend some time on: perfecting my fake eyelash game.
The Buzzfeed crew said they had used Esqido lashes (affiliate link), which are around $32 at Amazon, but I balked at spending that much on yet another failed attempt to “learn” eyelashes when it sounded like every single attempt I’d ever made to learn eyelashes.
So when I heard about magnetic lashes from One Two Lash, even though they were $60, it made more sense to me — they’re reusable, come with two applications, and there’s no glue involved, which was always where things went wonky for me in the past. (The case comes with 8 lashes, as pictured — two go on each eye, one on top and one on bottom. The other four lashes are spares.) I finally pulled the trigger on magnetic lashes a few weeks ago, and I’m giving them a definite thumbs-up, with some caveats.
Psst: New here? You may also want to check out our GREAT discussion with the readers about beauty empties — the products we actually finish all the way and then buy again — as well as some of our classic resources, like The Corporette Guide to Comfortable Heels, or our brand new work outfit challenge with four weeks’ worth of work outfit ideas!
This is what my prior attempts at false eyelashes were like: I would do my makeup, then try to apply false eyelashes. Perhaps ONE eye would stick, but the other eye … wouldn’t. I would get glue all over my second eye while I tried to figure how to “match” the first eye. Thirty minutes later, frustrated and annoyed, I would remove my eye makeup, start over, and go out with regular mascara and no fake eyelashes.
My experience with magnetic lashes has been a WORLD apart — after playing around with them for about 30 minutes I was consistently getting them on my lashes, and they actually looked good. I’m still perfecting my touch, but some notes:
- I got the “original” lash, and it’s dramatic — personally I think it would be way too much for a regular workday (although some people are totally addicted on a daily basis). One Two Cosmetics also sells options called “accent” and “bold” — if you’re looking for something to wear every day for work I’d get the “accent ones” to start. (I’m also considering cutting my “original” lashes, but this seems drastic.)
- I’ve found they’re better if I leave mascara out of the equation, and curl my eyelashes first.
- I worried about “tiny magnets” — they’re not so terribly small, and I can’t imagine them coming off and my not knowing.
- They really are reusable — I’ve had them on and off probably a 100 times and they’re very easy to take on and off, and the lashes seem great.
In general, I’m really happy with my purchase.
Readers, have you tried One Two Cosmetics or other magnetic lashes? Care to share a magnetic lashes review with us?
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This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
Workwear sales of note for 5.26.23:
- Nordstrom – The Half-Yearly Sale just started!
- Amazon – Memorial Day Sales! Lots of discounts on Amazon Essentials and more.
- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off all sale styles (through 5/29); 40% off your entire purchase (including suiting).
- Anthropologie – Extra 40% off sale.
- Athleta – Up to 60% off, PLUS an extra 30% off!
- Banana Republic – Summer preview, 30% off your purchase!
- Banana Republic Factory – 50%-70% off everything + extra 25% off purchase
- Bloomingdale’s – Memorial Day Sale, save up to 50% off on summer essentials, plus save up to 40% on designer items!
- Boden – 30% off everything, including sale (ends 5/29).
- Brooks Brothers – Extra 25% off sale; already up to 70% off (ends 5/31) – also mix & match sale with men’s shirts, 4 for $249.
- Cole Haan – Up to 50% off sale styles.
- Eloquii – 400+ styles starting at $19; up to 50% off everything.
- Everlane – Up to 30% off, 400+ sale styles.
- Express – Summer kickoff sale, 30-50% off everything (plus $35+ steals).
- H&M – Up to 60% off online and in-store.
- J.Crew – 40% off your purchase; extra 50% off sale styles; up to 50% off summer styles
- J.Crew Factory – 50-70% off entire site and storewide; extra 60% off clearance.
- J.McLaughlin – Up to 40% off!
- Loft – 40% off full-price styles
- M.Gemi – MDW sale, up to 70% off (but returns accepted only for store credit).
- M.M.LaFleur – Short but sweet sale.
- Madewell – Get 30% off your purchase.
- Ministry of Supply – 25% off sitewide.
- Sephora – Up to 50% off select beauty
- Shopbop – Up to 50% off designer sale!
- Sue Sartor – Lots of cute dresses on sale!
- Talbots – 40% off one item, 30% off everything else (through 5/29).
- Theory – Up to 60% off + an extra 20% off.
- Universal Standard – Up to 35% off!
- Victoria’s Secret – this weekend only, buy 3 panties get 5 free ones.
Other noteworthy sales:
- CB2.com – Up to 50% off everything!
- Joss & Main – Up to 60% off, plus an extra 20% off with code.
- Tuft & Needle – Save up to $775 on mattresses. (Reader favorite bed brand; Kat really likes hers!)
- West Elm – Memorialy Day Sale, up to 60% off.
Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
- Favorite comfy pants for an overnight plane ride?
- I’ve got a nasty case of tech neck…
- What’s a good place for a relaxing solo escape?
- What’s the best commuter backpack?
- I’m early 40s and worry my career arc is ending…
- I canNOT figure out the proportions in this current season of fashion…
- How is everyone wearing scarves in 2023?
- What shoes are people wearing to work between boot and sandal season?
- What’s a good place for a relaxing solo escape?
- What are some of your go-to outfits that feel current?
- I need more activities that are social, easy to learn and don’t involve extreme running/jumping/etc.
I posted a bit late this morning, but need to switch to a new financial institution. A few posters recommended Vanguard or Fidelity. (thank you!) I have an ira and investments/money.
For those who use them:
– Which do you use?
– Is it easy to have numerous accounts? (think IRA and individual)
– Are there routing numbers? (for direct deposit, etc.)
– How do you feel about the fees/customer service?
I have Vanguard for both IRA and individual investment accounts–it’s super easy to manage and to view my accounts independently or combined. Haven’t tried direct deposit. I’m very pleased with the customer service (and, for what it’s worth, have never heard from anyone who’s been seriously burned by Vanguard).
Second everything said here. I have used direct deposit (in both directions — into Vanguard and out of Vanguard / into my bank account), and have had no problems.
I have an individual Investment account with Vanguard, and have been very Happy with the service. Fees for mutual funds are low, you can get a rep on the phone if you have questions and I have used direct deposit with now issues.
sorry typo “no issues.”
I use Vanguard for investments. It’s not the type of institution where I would have a regular checking account, though. My regular checking is at First Republic Bank. They are a private bank with location in areas with high population. I joined because they have cookies but I’ve stayed because it’s a really incredible bank. I’ve also had checking accounts with credit unions and that’s a great option too.
This made me laugh, because we’re looking to change banks at work, and First Republic sent us cookies, which someone in charge actually mentioned as a reason to go with them (they are also going to cost significantly less than we’re paying with our current bank). I told them that they sent over lunch at my last company, so we should hold out!
For the OP, I use Fidelity for my investments and I’m very happy with it! I’d go with that or Vanguard.
Thank you for this review! I’m like you in the eyelash department and have been wanting to try these.
I am with Kat. I could personaly NEVER wear fake lashes, and my own is what men find so allureing. If I did not have my OWN eyelashes, I do NOT think I could ever have landed my jobs, and especialy my partnership b/c the judge thinks I am BOTH smart and cute. So for the rest of the hive, see if you can get by w/o fake eyelashes, but if you need them, I say go for them b/c men get all bowled over if you can act demurely by stareing at them and batting your eyelashes like Rosa does (and I learned from her after she landed Ed). I wish the hive the best on this score, b/c we should all play up our assets to our own advantage, includeing eyelashes! YAY!!!!!!
Halp!!! My sister’s wedding is in 60 days. My dress is sleeveless. I’m chubby and my arms are roughly what you’d think someone’s arms would look like if they never lifted anything ever. I get that I’m not suddenly going to have cut defined Michelle Obama arms and I’m working to lose my layers of fat, but how do I start lifting? Assume I have no weights, no clue, but access to a gym with machines, and that I just want something easy that doesn’t require me reading a book or blogs. Can any of you mysterious fit people provide guidance?
I use an adjustable cable trainer at the gym. Hmmm… hard to describe. Basically, it’s a machine where you can adjust where the cable is coming from up and down (and sometimes in to out) and how much weight you’re pulling with the cable. There is a handle for each arm. I do some where I’m pulling in at arm level, some where I’m pushing out at arm level, where where I’m pulling down and in and the cable starts up high, and some where I’m pulling up and in and the cable starts low. You can start with a fairly low weight.
The ones where you and rotate in and out look like this: http://fitnessdealsusa.com/lt-commercial-ext-dual-cable-cross.html
The one at the gym where I currently work out (while my regular one is closed) looks this and it only adjusts up and down: http://www.inboxfitness.com/xmark-fitness-x-mark-functional-trainer-cable-machine-with-dual-200-lb-weight-stacks.htm
I have had a trainer show me some different things to do with it, but you can look at the instructions on the machine and figure it out.
Does your gym have classes? I would start there. If you want to work out privately, I mostly just do youtube videos at home. There are lots of videos out there — Pop Sugar, Fitness Blender, Lauren Hefez. You can just search for arm workouts and try them out until you find what you like.
Youtube videos or something like kayla itsines / lauren gleisberg / jamie eason middleton’s programs. I really like fitnessblender videos on youtube but you can also use some of the free bodybuilding.com programs that will give you a day by day calendar breakdown of what to do. People I know have had good results with Jamie Eason Middleton’s livefit trainer and its available for free on bodybuilding.com. The kayla itsines app / lauren gleisberg programs have cost associated with them.
Worth noting that eating for fat loss is an integral part of this as it takes (at least on my frame) a pretty lean state to see muscles but your mileage may vary depending on your build (mine is mack truck, hence the need to be at a deficit to get visible guns) but it sounds like you are already working towards this part of things.
Thanks so much!
I know you said no blogs, but here’s a really nice overview of how to strength train.
Ohhhh thank you! I just mean more please tell me exactly which one. I’ve tried googling and there’s just so much advice out there I find it really intimidating to sift through!
A friend of mine has been using the beachbody program (I know, I initially rolled my eyes but she’s been on it for about a week and a half and has already seen a difference!).
I’m probably going to try it after her rave reviews because I’ve been busting my butt for almost 6 months (both exercise and diet) and haven’t seen much results.
pushups! if i could only do one set of arm exercises forever, it would be pushups. plus they’re bodyweight. for some simple dumbbell arm routines look up whitney simmons on yo utube. i like her videos, theyre straightforward and you can pick the appropriate weights
try fitness blender.com videos, like this one: https://www.fitnessblender.com/videos/tank-top-arms-workout-best-upper-body-workout-for-toned-arms-shoulders-and-upper-back
But they have a ton of videos, and you can search for ones of varied length and with/without equipment. I personally find “no equipment” upper body exercises annoying because they use body weight, and my body is too heavy for my upper body to lift well. (They tend to involve a lot of push ups). So I like using dumbbells.
Litigator in TX
Ok, I hope I don’t come off as a troll, and I know this is not what you asked, but as a fellow chubby armed gal, here is my advice: weightlifting is awesome, but won’t get you the arms you want in 60 days. You’re better off focusing 80% on your diet and losing some weight, and lifting to supplement that improvement. Diet will make a bigger difference here than lifting here (I know, because I’ve lifted forever, and you only see definition if you lose the fat…otherwise, nada). Co-signing advice above about looking up videos for proper form for weighlifting, youtube has a lot of stuff you can watch and then replicate at the gym. I also LOVE this book for all things weightlifting: The New Rules of Lifting for Women. Good luck and you will look great no matter what!
Oh no prob! I totally know that I just figure in addition to diet I may as well try adding some lifting. Not looking for perfection here just nudging a little better.
Building on that, I’ve found tracking my protein intake and focusing on post-workout protein-timing to be the only way to lose weight while maintaining/building muscle. (Your body isn’t terribly discerning about where weight is lost from, if left to its own devices.)
– Total protein: 1-1.2 grams of protein per pound of body weight (some people say to base it off your goal weight, some some present weight)
– Consume 20gs of protein within 30 mins of a strength training workout. (This allegedly helps prevent your body from consuming energy from your existing muscles.)
– Our bodies aren’t as efficient at absorbing more than 30gs of proteins at a time. So, I try to consume protein-snacks between meals and have been obsessed with bone broth protein powder lately.
So, keep your calories in the weight loss zone, but keep your protein high with a focus on the above rules if you want to reduce the layer of fat on your arms while simultaneously building the muscle tone that will eventually rise to the surface.
“I just want something easy that doesn’t require me reading a book or blogs”
I mean this gently, but, many of us “mysterious fit people” are “mysteriously fit” because we 1) read a lot of books and blogs about fitness and 2) put time and energy into thinking about our workouts and how to optimize them in order to achieve the results we want. Reading those books and blogs (as well as trial and error) is how you learn. I encourage you to try the suggestions above, by all means, but you should know that you’re going to have to think about it and learn some things if you want to get good results.
Yeah, ok, or I could ask a bunch of people who already did that work what their answer is. I actually have zero interest in making “doing an arm workout” my hobby, just wanted a good starting place. Which many helpful people gave me! I don’t need to become an expert or reinvent the wheel on this basic beginner request.
“think about it and learn some things” =/= “become an expert or reinvent the wheel”
My issue is that you seem to be approaching this with the mindset that you don’t need to learn anything and that if you randomly do a few of the things other people suggest it’s going to produce good results. No one’s saying you need to be an expert, least of all me, but what I am saying is if your mindset is how it’s coming off, I doubt you’re going to get the results you want.
You are why people don’t start working out. It seems like this impossible knowledge base that people have as a result of a lifetime of being fit and research, and how on earth can I get there if it’s cheating to ask people for recommendations. Worst.
I’m baffled why you’re so mean Torin. Fitness is hugely intimidating to me. The internet is full of beginner plans. I just wanted a starting point. And the only result I want is finding something to try.
Responses like yours are exactly what makes this hard. I need something that is accessible I can do, not pressure to learn tons of stuff and do research. That’s just a road block to actually doing something and what I was trying to get around asking here. Like people do all the time on everything from new cars to retirement savings.
Omg she’s not being mean.
Don’t know if you’re still reading, but I’ll try one more time.
– I encourage you to try the exercises others have suggested
– I also encourage you to read at least some things and learn at least some things about exercise in order to try to understand what you’re trying to do
– I am not advocating “fancy gear” or “an obsessive, highly-controlled approach to exercise”, but merely suggesting that your attitude that you don’t want to read _anything_ is possibly not the best way to approach a new activity and could even lead to injury (ask me how I know)
– It’s not “cheating” to ask for recommendations; but Arms specifically said she _didn’t_ want to read _anything_, which, again, strikes me as an unwise attitude
Arm’s comment seemed to be saying that she would exercise but not if she had to learn anything. I was trying to encourage her to both start exercising if that’s what she wants to do, and be open to learning about what is and is not effective.
I’m very fit and I don’t read books or blogs about it. Being fit = actually doing exercise on a regular basis, not obsessively researching it. You don’t need fancy gear, you don’t need to go to a running store and have your gait analyzed by an expert and all that stuff, you don’t need to research the best exercises – you just need to go do stuff.
This is exactly what I was about to write. So, +1.
I run almost every day, sometimes cross train by climbing, do Pilates, and then other body-weight exercises like push-ups. I do not read or research about any of these things, other than social-types of running discussions. I actually think that reading and researching too much tends to point toward an obsessive, highly-controlled approach to exercise, and it is not something to be recommended.
In short, to borrow from Nike: just do it. Every day.
Honestly, I do pushups, pullups and dips. Those seem to give me the best arm results. I think 60 days is plenty of time to get some definition. Try doing 10 pushups every day for a week (you can do them on your knees – still counts!) Then add 5 or 10 the next week, until you’re doing 100 pushups per day (I know that’s a lot). Same with dips. Pullups are a little trickier – try doing a pyramid: 1 pullup, rest 30-60 seconds, 2 pullups, rest. See if you can get to 3, then go down: 2, 1. Hope this makes sense. Good luck!
Thanks for the vote of confidence!
Definitely dips! Getting tricep definition is a big part of having shapely arms. You can even do dips on the edge of a park bench or some other solid platform.
Day of event advice here for however much progress you make between now and then. I do lift regularly, but genetics are cruel and I will always just have not terribly defined but bigger strong arms. sigh. Do some pushups the morning of, and get yourself a cream made for cellulite. I have had success with the Bliss Fab Girl Slim. I have zero belief that it does anything long term, but in the short term it does seem to make things look overall firmer. Slather on arms a few hours before the wedding. This is also my answer for how to be a size 14 and wear shorts confidently.
Follow Up - Husband's Job Travel Woes
Following up from a few weeks ago, I posted about feeling like my husband’s job and its extreme travel were becoming problematic with our family’s life. There were lots of lovely comments (and a couple ‘just divorce him’ comments) so I wanted to take a moment to follow up.
For now, he is remaining in his field, but he has committed to a couple (specifically ‘at least two’) of informational interviews and/or networking meetings in the next 6 months. We’ve also made a daily phone call a priority, which really helps the kids.
I was also able to isolate the fact that I was having the hardest issue with the going back and forth. You have your current job? Fine. I can work with that. You want a different job? Great. Fantastic. Make it happen. The ‘well, mayyyybbeeee I will try a different job but then I’m not going to do anything to move towards it’ was what I was struggling the most with. Now that I know that for the next 6 months, this will be his job and we will re-evaluate at that point, it’s oddly easier.
I also said ‘no’ to a few things that normally I would have agreed to – specifically, last minute events with his family that sounded great in theory but would have left me totally burnt out and frazzled going in to the week. It was freeing.
Thanks for the follow-up! I’m glad you’re finding ways to make it work for you.
I understand about the going back and forth. Right now, my husband is unemployed, after several years of working a ton (although always in town). I really don’t mind him being unemployed–it’s tougher but possible financially, and it’s SO much easier logistically to have a SAH parent. But I get annoyed at, “I’m thinking about starting my own business” for a couple of weeks, and “I’m thinking about going to business school” for another couple of weeks, and “I’ll start looking for jobs after X” for another few weeks. I don’t actually care if he does any of those things, but changing up what he’s “thinking” about and not actually doing anything drives me crazy. I try to be supportive and really just want him to be happy, but the uncertainty created by going back and forth is hard on me.
Litigator in TX
Thanks for updating us! We’re all rooting for you!
These sound amazing. Please, someone talk me out of this.
Curious: Why are you wanting someone to talk you out of this?
I’m mostly joking. They just sound too good to be true.
Buy trio lashes isntead! They make little clumps of three which I find infinitely easier that strip lashes or singles. Kiss and Ardell both make them
Your eyelashes are fine as-is! Why in the past few years have false eyelashes become such a big thing? I just do not get this trend. Unless your eyelashes are falling out en masse, slap on some mascara and call it a day!
[Ok, this is my attempt to talk you out of them. Of course get them if you want. You do you– falsies will just never be for me!]
+1 please can fake eyelashes not be a thing. Enough already with the fake everything…it’s another time suck for nothing except bigger looking eyes. Focus on your work and how you show up, not on your eyelashes. (plus is nobody else concerned about the environmental impact of mini magnets?)
A good friend and her SO are getting engaged tomorrow, on their one year anniversary (while technically he’s surprising her, they have talked very clearly about getting married, so this is sort of a formality). I’m feeling…sad?
I have a fabulous SO who I have been dating just over a year , but neither of us feels ready to move forward. I think my sadness comes from envying their certainty, both about wanting to move forward and feeling ready to do so – it is definitely not about wanting a different SO or that I’m ready while he isn’t.
So…how do you know? Or do you plunge ahead at some point without feeling sure? We are all very late 30s, I own a home and feel established in my career, so it isn’t like I’m waiting for other aspects of my life to come together before I feel ready to advance my relationship.
This probably isn’t what you want to hear, but if you don’t know after a year of dating in your 30s, it’s probably not the right relationship. When you’re very young, it’s different, because I think a lot of people just aren’t ready to get engaged at 18 or 22 or even 25 despite believing their SO is “the one.” But you’re at a point in life where you’re settled and ready to commit to the right person and if you don’t feel ready to move forward it’s because it’s not the right person. The only people I know who got married despite not being sure all ended up divorced, most rather quickly. If getting married and/or having kids aren’t a priority for either you or your SO, I suppose there’s no real downside to continuing to date and hoping that your feelings change, but I wouldn’t be too optimistic about it.
+1. It’s tough to hear, but if you still aren’t feeling sure (and there’s not horrible trauma in your past that may be scaring you off from marriage as an institution), then this probably isn’t the relationship for you.
Can either of you define “sure?” Does that mean you didn’t have a single question in your minds after a year – I feel like I don’t know someone well enough after only a year to be able to say that. Or does sure mean you don’t see any dealbreakers, and so therefore you are ok to move forward?
For me, “sure” came really fast. I was 40, so like you, had all the major life choices ironed out. What made me sure my H was the right person was just that it felt like coming home when we met. We thought alike, valued the same things, looked at the world the same way. I couldn’t imagine not being with him. There weren’t any doubts for either of us, and we got married 6 months after we met (& we’re still going strong 3 years later). It’s just easy.
I had plenty of relationships before him where I wasn’t sure, it wasn’t quite right, etc. I think you can be happy in one of those, but the “sure” factor might not come as easily. I think you can only be “sure” quickly and easily when you really get lucky & that’s not the case for everyone, and it’s also not necessary for a great relationship. It’s a total bonus if it happens and makes the decisionmaking really easy, but that doesn’t mean that “sure” can’t come in a different format.
Not a single question. It felt right, right from the start. Where there are blinking arrows saying, “Yes, THIS is what this is supposed to be like.” If you have to talk yourself into it or you have some doubts, it’s just not right.
I’m curious how you feel like you don’t know after a year. Do you spend lots of time together? We were so crazy about each other from the moment we met that we couldn’t stay apart, so while we were dating, we spent every weekend together (Fri night – Mon morning) and at least one weeknight together. It’s easy to get to know someone well when you spend that much time with them.
After a year of living together I was sure. We got to have financial hardships, and solved our problems together, had common life goals, values, idea of what family we want.
I think different things push different people over the edge. I felt very strongly I wanted to marry my now husband after maybe two years and I think he felt that way earlier, but we waited until we had been together about 5 to get engaged. We were pretty young, focused on careers, and while we wanted children, had plenty of time for that.
I over-analyzed the whole thing about when you KNOW you want to get married (and drove myself crazy). At some point I just realized I only saw him when I thought about what my life would be like at all different stages looking ahead. I knew what was right or difficult about our relationship and could accept the total package. He was who I wanted to be with when I was happy, sad, bored, excited about something, etc., and we wanted the same things in life and had already worked through things together (for me, this was key). When I asked him why he wanted to marry me, the answer was “because I do.” For him, it was obvious gut/feelings, plus the fact that it logically made sense.
In the time between when we started dating and got engaged I had many friends meet and marry their husbands. It was very much a combination of their personalities, age, and eagerness to settle down. I don’t view my friend who got engaged after 4 months as more in love or more sure than I was/am.
I’d ask yourself a couple questions: Is this who you want to work through things with? (Because life happens..) and how do you feel when you think about not being with your SO? (Is it worry about being single again or distress about not having this person in your life permanently?)
He’s great to work through things with, and I really appreciate that about him. I actually love being single and living by myself, which I suspect is part of my feeling not ready to move forward, because if this is really “it” I’ll never do those things again. But I would be incredibly sad if he wasn’t in my life anymore.
I think Anon at 4:13’s statement is part of my issue – there’s this expectation that after a year, you are supposed to know. and that feels like a lot of pressure.
I’m also late-30s, SO is early 40s. We’ve been together for almost 5 years and are only moving in together next month. For nearly all of our relationship, we had a weekly date night and spent the weekends together. I moved out of one house and into another when we were 3 years in, and everyone expected me to move in with him instead. My mom was even asking me over Christmas whether things were “really serious” with him and if we had future plans.
What isn’t visible to others about our relationship: we talk about the relationship alot. Within 6 months of starting to date, we’d had all the big discussions: kids, money, moving away from our HCOL area, supporting elderly parents, supporting less well-off siblings, travel, cars, etc. So we knew this relationship was serious and committed pretty quickly. We have talked abut engagement rings and planned our wedding. To the outside world, we look like we are casually dating and not seriously planning for the future. We also knew that there was no reason to hurry up and not take our time.
I don’t think it’s important to be engaged within a year as it is to build a solid foundation for your relationship. If you aren’t sure about the relationship, it’s time to talk about the future and really figure out if he’s looking for the same things you are.
It might be valuable to spend time thinking to yourself – and then possibly talking to your SO – about what marriage means to you.
Why do you want to get married (at all)? Is it about family, kids, religion, something else? What will it mean? How would your relationship change? Is there time pressure because of kids, fertility stuff, something else? Do you feel societal or familial pressure? How important is a wedding? How important is being ‘engaged’? Why are those things important to you (or not)?
For me, making a public (and legal) commitment was important, but I was terrified that it meant I had to have a traditional wedding. I hated the idea of being proposed to, and hated a lot of the traditional gender things involved in weddings, engagements, etc. (for me! I don’t have any qualms with other people doing what feels right for them!) but I did want to be able to tell people my SO was my spouse, because, like I said, the public/legal commitment was meaningful for me. Realizing we could skip the ~wedding~ aspect was liberating and made it feel worthwhile to go forward.
Anyone out there want to weigh in on TV streaming options? We are thisclose to cutting the cable cord — I’m sick of paying $200/month for TV, phone, and internet. My current plan, based on Young House Love’s recent post about this, is to go to a Playstation Vue streamed via Roku box or Google Chromecast, to upgrade to super-fast internet, and cut cable and home phone entirely. This plan will save us roughly $100 per month (i.e. it cuts our bill in half).
We have four televisions in our home (not all of them have to have cable, but I’d like to get it for at least three of the four) and live sports are a must if I have any hope of convincing my husband to go along with my plan. The only downside of my idea that I can see (so far) is that we wouldn’t get CBS, but I can stream that separately if we decide it’s necessary (and still save $90/month). Anyone prefer Roku over Chromecast? Some other plan entirely?
Ok, so we’re clearly over-doing it in the TV department as we still have cable, but I definitely prefer Roku over Chromecast. We have both on two different TVs and the Roku box is super easy to set up and seem faster. Chromecast doesn’t seem as user friendly to me.
I’ve owned Roku devices for 5+ years and have a strong preference for those. Depending on the sports season (we watch tons of college sports and various teams require specific channels) we switch between Sling, Playstation Vue, and DirecTV Now. I’ll be perfectly honest, the Playstation Vue interface on Roku is awful, but their channel line up and pricing is good. I’m forever optimistic that the interface will improve. Interface for Sling and DirecTV Now is great on Roku.
The best part of cutting the cord is the ability to switch between services as I see fit. Sometimes, we’ll even be radical and go without for awhile. We use an antenna to get over the air channels, but I think some of the services are starting to offer those also.
If you have a smart TV (that can access the internet) you don’t need a Chromecast unless you want to play a movie on your laptop and connect it to your TV. It really doesn’t do much else. Apple TV or Roku is better.
I have no advice for ANP but will piggyback on this question– we pay over $250/month for cable, phone (ha), internet, and home alarm service, all from the one cable company. We want to keep the internet and the alarm service, and we’d like to cut cable while keeping 1) sports channels (sigh) and 2) basic/local tv (ABC, etc). And we don’t need the phone. Should I just call the cable company, tell them that, and see what they can do for me? Is there a better approach?
Yes. Keep asking them if they can do better with each new offer. I live in NYC and pay less than half that for cable and internet, including the channels you mentioned and more.
Litigator in TX
We prefer our Roku
Chromecast, which we use to stream our subscriptions to Netflix, HBO, and Amazon Prime, and also for music or podcasts if we want to listen to something. We also have an antenna which we use … like 3 times a year maybe? Total cost is about $100/month (plus $35 up front for the Chromecast). I think it’s extremely simple. I’ve never used a Roku so can’t compare, but Chromecast was easy to both set up and use.
FYI on smart TVs though, I had one for a few years from LG and then they stopped supporting upgrades to the software 5 y ears later and it basically quit working because it was so buggy. I was thinking about getting a new TV but ended up getting the Chromecast instead and it works great. I fully expect that the same thing will/could happen with every smart TV. Companies are just not going to support the software indefinitely, and I just do not need a new TV every 5 years.
I too have both Roku and Chromecast. Both are good, but Chromecast seems easier to me, probably because that’s what we got first. In other words, I don’t think there’s a bad choice here.
If you’re trying to outfit four tvs, I’d buy one of each and see which you like best. Buy two more of the one you like, and demote the other one to your least used tv.
I’ve got Chromecast and Amazon FireStick and use the Amazon one more because I can get everything I was streaming on my Chromecast AND Amazon Prime (which I couldn’t figure out how to do well with Chromecast).
And it comes with a remote, which I like better than the phone-as-remote with Chromecast because that was always a little bit buggy for me.
I haven’t had cable in 7 years. I have used Chromecast since it was first released 4 years ago. I still have the Chromecast, but I recently got the Amazon Fire Stick, and I have to say I think I prefer it. I generally have had fewer issues with shows loading improperly, and it’s super easy to search for content by speaking into the little Amazon remote.
A plug for the amazon firestick, which I think works better than my apple tv (admittedly old now, but stopped using because of bugs). Don’t know anything about sports, but the firestick gets updated and you can subscribe to channels.
for my second tv, I have a wireless antenna that usually gets great service for ABC/NBC/CBS/Fox ($40 in 2012)
I haven’t had cable in years and don’t miss it. I stream through my Samsung blu ray player and have an indoor antenna that works great for network tv.
Also, for Internet, you don’t necessarily need to get the fastest speed and I’d recommend starting slower and seeing if you have problems. I’m on the cheapest plan with my Internet provider (in a state that regularly ranks in the bottom five for Internet speed) and still get HD streaming. The faster plans get “up to” higher speeds. Personally I haven’t been able to tell a difference between the more expensive plans and what I have now.
This is a bit random but where does one buy a glass table topper? I bought a new dining table recently and it seems very prone to scratching and shows every thumb print. I sort of hate it but for various reasons I am past the point of returning it and need to make do. I’ve been using a table cloth but don’t love the look. Thinking a glass top might make things better? Is this a bad idea? Where do I get one?
I would go to a glassworks in town (the sort of place that makes and installs shower doors). I currently have a clear vinyl mat on my similarly scratchable table, but certainly will go to glass eventually.
Go to a glass shop. I’ve taken various end tables in over the years and they measure it there…I’m guessing a dining table isn’t the same, so they may want to send someone to the house to measure.
S in Chicago
Craft stores often carry some standard round sizes. If the size is not standard or you’re not seeing what you want there, then go to a glass and mirror shop (lot of tile shops also do glass and mirror). If you give them specs, they can cut something custom for you. I did this for the top of an antique dresser that I didn’t want nicked up by a TV stand in our guest bedroom. I think I paid like $30 for it and has been the best thing. Easy to clean, no risks of candle wax or drink rings or heaven knows what else we or guest might do.
From a local glass company. Check google or the yellow pages. They are custom cut and delivered. In my experience it’s not something you can mail order.
My husband got custom glass toppers for the antique nightstands in our guest room after somebody tried their best to ruin them with a sweaty glass of water.
He went to the glass shop with the measurements and they talked him through options. It cost about $40 for the tables, as I recall. They were cut to the shape and have rounded edges and silicone spacers so they don’t damage the tables. I would call a glass shop in your city and see if they can do this.
If you do go into a glass shop with measurements, measure the sides and triple check the measurements. Also, you have to figure out what the corners are… apparently they can be dime rounded, or nickel rounded (ie, like money) or something like that.
Thanks ladies! I don’t think it would have ever occurred to me that I need a glass shop.
Unless it’s perfectly round or rectangular, make a paper template and take it to the glass shop. Or better yet, have them come out and measure for you.
+1 My mom has a glass top like this on pretty much every surface in her home, and this is what she does.
I blame the patriarchy for giving me unrealistic expectations
How do you make peace with giving up on your dreams? It’s silly, but it hit me recently for the first time that I’m never going to have a wedding. A big white dress, flowers, beautiful reception kind of wedding. My parents definitely can’t afford it, and neither can I. Even if I had an extra 30k I wouldn’t want to spend it on a wedding anyway. But it made me really sad to realize that I’m never going to have that kind of special day that I grew up dreaming about.
Well, the expensive part of weddings is the sit down dinner in a fancy venue for 9 million people. I know that’s the norm in the northeast and midwest, but you can have a big white dress, flowers, and a cake and champagne reception for a fraction of the cost and it be just as fun.
I think it’s tacky not to feed guests (especially if you’re inviting guests who have to travel to the wedding), but there are ways to feed people cheaply and you can also choose to keep the guest list very small and invite only family members and very close friends.
At a meal time, yes, it’s not polite to not provide a meal. But getting married at a non-meal time (say, 2 pm) and having light refreshments is the oldest trick in the book for keeping costs down.
+1 we did this and it turned out to be a brunch/afternoon tea and the food was amazing and more than enough to keep people full for the drive home. Some of the younger guests that were expecting a huge evening drunk fest were disappointed but we recently got a wedding invite from one of those couples and they are essential copying the same format we did 10 years ago lol.
You don’t have those types of receptions during dinner. Typically they’re in the mid-afternoon or after dinner (so maybe 8PM).
+1 Receptions where you serve punch and cake, or cookies and coffee, or other snacks are 100% lovely and polite, as long as they don’t overlap with a mealtime. It’s my impression that most weddings used to be done this way toward the beginning of the 20th century. Personally, I’d take a nice, simple, sweet cake reception over a overly long, poor quality meal any day!
Whoa how do you know it’s not going to happen? Have you even met your potential partner yet? Maybe s/he or their parents will have the funds to pay for a fancier wedding, or maybe you’ll save together towards this goal. Also a beautiful wedding can be had for much less than $30K. I had 85 guests at a fancy hotel in a resort area for about $12K. It could have been half that if we’d cut the guest list way down. Guests are the major cost at most weddings. A beautiful wedding dress can be purchased for a few hundred dollars and same with flowers.
+1 I had what I consider to be a very fancy wedding with 85 guests for about $18K. I could have cut back a lot and still had a very wonderful day, so it is indeed possible!
Can you do part of your dream (e.g. beautiful white dress, and a professional photographer to take beautiful pictures of you in your beautiful dress) and then have the rest of it later, maybe for a big anniversary (e.g. 25th)?
You can still have a cheap wedding with a big white dress, flowers, etc if that is what you want. There are ways to do it without spending a ton of money.
Frugal, not cheap! It’s just semantics, yet there is a difference.
I mean, a wedding is still a wedding even without the fluffy dress and flowers. The wedding-industrial complex would like you to believe that your day is a disaster without monogrammed cocktail napkins, but they have a vested interest in getting you to spend that $30k.
Maybe you can re-frame it as freeing – because you know you can’t have that fluffy white dress dream, you’re free to make the day special in your own way.
Well, if your dreams growing up were based on the kind of wedding that gets profiled on lifestyle or reality TV shows or gets glossy spreads in magazines, then yes, it can be a bit of a letdown to get to adult life and realize that isn’t going to happen for you. But as the posters are pointing out, parts of your dream are still easily available. (For what it’s worth, I don’t know anyone who spent anywhere near $30K on a wedding, and it truly didn’t matter to the loveliness of the event and day.)
Lots of insightful comments have been posted already, so I’ll just add one thing: It sounds like maybe you’re experiencing internal conflict about your dream wedding vs. the cost of a “dream wedding.” Rather than writing off the possibility of a wedding altogether, perhaps you could think about what specific parts of the wedding are most important to you, and create a new plan that’s more in line with your budget. Like Anonymous at 4:27 pointed, it’s part of the natural “let down” of an idealized dream turning into something more real.
Also, I don’t know what your current life situation is, whether you currently have a partner or not, but it’s probably worth assessing why the idea of a big wedding is so important to you. It seems like a lot of people are concerned about other people judging their wedding, and thereby judging them. My husband and I paid for our wedding ourselves, and we’re both quite frugal, so we only felt comfortable spending a few thousand dollars. A couple of my husbands’ friends, by contrast, had much more expensive weddings (one was around $60,000, no joke). Unsurprisingly, we were a little self-conscious about the simplicity of our wedding, but we both made a conscious decision to not worry about what they thought. People who truly care about you won’t think less of you because you didn’t have an extravagant wedding: they’ll be happy for you at this life-changing moment.
I don’t mean to get preachy with you, but your dream should be to have a wonderful marriage that lasts forever. A wedding is just a day. It should be beautiful and meaningful, but it will be over quickly but life with your partner will go on.
Some of the cost savings suggestions here are great. Make your day wonderful and your long-term partnership better.
This review is kind of useless without before/after pictures.
I posted a few weeks back about having gained a bit of weight recently after starting to work out and not really changing my diet much. I met with a nutritionist last week, who told me I have 30% body fat (she used two different methods to calculate it). This was pretty shocking to me since, while I would not call myself thin, I am definitely well within normal for my BMI (5’4, 132 lbs). And I work out 3-4 times a week (60 minutes of HIIT) and walk a few miles a day.
I won’t get my detailed food plan from the nutritionist until next week (for now she just wants me to track), but I’m feeling antsy and kind of down about this. She said I should be eating 1,800 calories a day, which seems high to me, and I’m feeling stumped about what to eat. She also mentioned that she will probably put me on a 40/30/30 macro plan, so for the past few days I’ve been tracking my macros and I’m not really getting close to hitting those goals (usually my carbs or fat are 5-10% over, and my protein is closer to 20%). I’m a vegetarian.
To give you an example of my diet – this morning I had 1/2 avocado on a piece of toast, and a small bowl of nonfat plain greek yogurt with a few berries and 1/4 cup of granola. For snacks today I have a to-go portion of peanut butter, with some celery, and a nectarine. For lunch I had 2 pieces of thin-crust veggie pizza with whole grain crust, and some iced tea. For dinner, I’m planning to have a bowl of black beans and 1 cup of rice, topped with the other 1/2 of the avocado from this morning. And for dessert, a greek yogurt popsicle.
By my calculations, this is about 1,500 calories. Any ideas for adding more protein (I don’t eat eggs)? And does this seem reasonably healthy?
What’s the goal here? You’re at a healthy weight.
nutritionist says i should lose 5% body fat, which means losing about 10 lbs.
Not necessarily? If you build muscle you probably won’t lose weight. It sounds like you need to do more muscle building, not go on a diet.
To echo anon above it may not result in a net weight loss. Could you incorporate more strength based / weightlifting exercise? Building more muscle might help you lose body fat.
Why would you want such low body fat? Are you an athlete? At 5’4 and 130lbs, you are thin.
I would probably wait to talk about “reasonably healthy” with your nutritionist. I am a vegetarian and when I was on a diet, it helped me to avoid things like bread because it’s a big source of calories. Look at what you’re eating and where the calories are most concentrated — I bet it is the toast, the granola (granola is basically candy), the pizza, the rice. Look into what you can switch to. Maybe a different kind of toast (Ezekiel bread? A wasa cracker?), museli or slivered almonds instead of granola, maybe quinoa instead of rice (which will have extra protein). For me, if I was running low on protein, I would eat an egg, which is not a thing you want to eat, or make a Vega protein shake as a snack (honestly, the easiest option. I mix them in a blender bottle). You could also look into incorporating higher protein foods — more legumes, edamame, part-skim cheese, tempeh, etc.
Ezekiel is great due to the high fiber content!
thanks for the suggestion!
You need more protein. Your macros are pretty similar to mine, so at 1800 with 40 / 30 / 30 (Im at 35/35/30 ) that equates to 135 g of protein, or about 45g of protein per meal assuming no snacks. Absent eggs or fish (both high in protein for the calorie / other macro content) , you will likely really need to lean heavily on tofu and vegan / vegetarian protein powders as beans, quinoa, chickpeas etc, while higher protein than other grains and legumes are still ~10 g / cup and high in carbohydrates.
Would you consider eating egg whites? (Ie is it the whole egg you don’t like or all parts of it)
Sorry just noticed you mentioned the protein deficit already.
Some people don’t eat eggs for religious reasons.
Ah ok didn’t realize sorry! If eggs / fish are a no go stuff like tofu / tempeh / vegan protein powders should help with getting in protein.
I’m a meat / fish eater and I struggle as well…
I’ll echo what others have said: you sound healthy, your diet sounds healthy, you are beautiful.
But if you want to add more protein, you could cut some of the carbs and add more beans, peas, lentils, nuts, legumes, cheese, and green leafy vegetables. Or just straight up drink a protein shake. They don’t taste awesome, but they get the job done. Also ask your nutritionist if she works with many vegetarians. It really is possible to get plenty of protein on a vegetarian diet, but some people are so meat focused they just can’t comprehend it and I would want a nutritionist who was not one of those.
My diet sounds really similar to yours in terms of items and calories, and about 2 months ago I made a little tweak that has noticeably decreased my body fat percentage without changing anything else — protein shakes. I swear, they are the holy grail of fat loss for me. My diet is almost identical to yours, ~1500 calories of very similar foods. Then I add two protein shakes on top of that, one after my morning workout and one in the evening before bed. My favorite brands are Vega and Garden of Life, both of which are vegan. I don’t do one of those fancy shakes with other stuff in it (too many calories), just blend the powder in with water, which adds another ~200-300 calories to my day. I’ve lost 3% body fat in 2 months making just that change.
interesting! thank you!
Is anyone else wondering how on earth a video about eyelashes is NSFW?
Oh should you start down the rabbit hole of Jenna Marbles :) I don’t like all of her videos, but in general I find her funny. But not at work. I’m not sure any of her videos are every SFW (at least from a language perspective)
Jenna Marbles swears a lot.
She’s a comedian, not a beauty blogger.
Need advice on some kind of wipes I can use once I get to my office to clean up. I’m showing up at the office sweaty from my commute and despite changing my commute to minimize walking, I’m still sweating enough that I feel like I need another shower once I get to work. Looking for some kind of wipe / cleansing pad I can use to freshen up in the bathroom once I arrive. TIA!
Baby wipes. Every soldier in the Army carries a travel pack with them when they go to the field and can’t shower for weeks on end. Yes, even the big burly men. They make unscented versions if that’s a concern.
This. I’m caught in moderation, but H8ggies natural care wipes (buy in bulk on amazon and transfer into h*ggies wipes clutch that you can get for like $3 at target). Non-greasy, no weird scents.
If your skin isn’t sensitive, I’d use one that has some alcohol (like a Purell or certain Wet One wipes) or witch hazel (check hemorrhoid wipes…seriously). That way the sweat won’t turn to stink.
If you just need to wipe off the sweat / freshen up, then any baby wipes or those makeup removing face cloths would be OK, I’d think.
I really like huggies natural care baby wipes. They don’t leave a weird baby wipe scent, they are mostly water, and they can wipe gross poop off a baby, so they can wipe some sweat off of you. They are also super cheap. You can buy a giant box on amazon for like $12. I’ve had a huggies wipes clutch for them from target for over a year and it’s still going strong. It’s like a super heavy duty ziploc that’s cute and not baby-print.
I think they’re basically all the same, but other than baby wipes, you can find wipes for camping and wipes for people who aren’t able to shower due to medical reasons. Amazon has lots of them. The camping/showering wipes I’ve used tend to be pretty large, which is good if you’re giving yourself a shower in a tent, but you would need to partially undress in a bathroom stall to use them.
So I have decided I need to move on from my current job (the short version of the story is that there is some borderline mentally abusive behavior happening over here and I need to GTFO). I am going to a few networking events over the next few weeks and need some advice. How do I let people know that I am looking to move? How should I broach this in conversation?
I’m in the same boat!
Me too! Let’s network with each other! :)
Because I’m terrible at it.
If you are not worried about this getting back to your employer, include it in your what you do opening lin, like, “I work at xxx but I’m actually other options right now.” Obviously there is risk involved in people learning you are looking.
So is the event like a meet and greet reception type of thing? For those, I tend not to say directly “hey I’m looking to move” bc I find that often people can see that as a turn off. Just focus on having good conversations – some about what work you do; what they do; how long they’ve been there etc. and then some about regular conversations – vacations, weather, school etc. Grab some business cards. And then follow up with people asking for a call or coffee — in that instance talk to them about your desire to move and ask for their advice. That way you’re not just saying it the 1st time you talk to people and you’re also talking to people who have some interest (bc those who aren’t interested just won’t respond to your call/coffee email).
Hi ladies, the best way to get back into the swing of networking and get the word out that you are looking for something better or to work for a sane, respectful manager is the following: figure out what you are going after first then come up with WHY that line of work excites you or takes everything you’ve learned and give you the chance to leverage those skills you want to use. An opening line you might want to try is: Hi, my name is Networking Q, TazDevil, Country Biscuits…I came to this event because of X, why did you decide to attend? and then get into the fact that you are also there to meet people who do interesting things and who are potentially in your line of work. Now, if its contacts that you haven’t spoken to in a while….over email/phone etc. then draft an email asking to catch up with person A or B, be transparent, and share that while you are doing some great work at your current employer you are exploring your options because you really want to be doing Z. Side note: I’m a career coach who has helped several people turn uncomfortable conversations into engaging ones. I have oodles of free content on the topic my website – but more than that I’m offering a – perfect your 30-second pitch mini session this summer. email me if you want more information – my wok in proven and convenient since it’s done virtually.
PSA I just found the most amazing summer casual dress at Old Navy (“Sleeveless Cutout-Back Shift Dress “). It’s definitely not a work dress (although I’m wearing mine to work with a linen bomber jacket over top because my office is on the extreme casual end). But it’s so breezy and comfortable and light for weekend running errands, going to the beach, etc. Not at all tight or fitted, nicely draped, the perfect picnic dress. And costs ~$15-20.
I have this dress in navy and I’ve worn it to every backyard cookout this summer. Such an easy dress!
But careful, it can shrink, so keep an eye on it when you wash it. (A similar dress from last summer suffered a sad fate, so I’ve been hand washing this one.)
Missed the morning comments on the article about addiction. But it didn’t surprise me at all. I can think of 3 close friends who either struggled or continue to struggle with alcohol during law school and one of those three probably also relied on adderall. Two of them have realized it. The third (aderall) is going to crash and burn eventually.
It was practically an open secret in law school about how easy it was to get an adderall prescription.
Mary Ellen Jafari
Getting back to Magnetic eyelashes, before wearing them please be aware that magnetic eyelashes cannot be worn during an MRI exam. They are ferromagnetic and will be pulled off by the magnetic field of the scanner. I know this because I am a medical physicist and the MRI Safety officer at Gundersen Health System in La Crosse, Wisconsin. They are fine to wear, just not during your MRI exam!