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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Wine isn't a very “springy” color, I know, but this dress is so unique that I had to post it — the satin-waist inset, mixed with the sleeved, V-necked ponte, looks great (and 36″ long should be fine on most women). Very interesting. It was $128, but is now marked to $44.50 at LastCall. Marc New York by Andrew Marc Satin-Waist Sheath Dress, Port Psst: Lots of cute things under $50 at the Dorothy Perkins sale, ending on 5/18 — use code DPFW25 at checkout to take 25% off sitewide, and get free shipping when you spend $50 with code DPSHIP50… Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-3)Sales of note for 9.19.24
- Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September, and cardmembers earn 3x the points (ends 9/22)
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 50% off select styles — and 9/19 only, 50% off the cashmere wrap
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
- Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Anniversary event, 25% off your entire purchase — Free shipping, no minimum, 9/19 only
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- Tuckernuck – Friends & Family Sale – get 20%-30% off orders (ends 9/19).
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
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DVF for skinny pear
Do any slightly pear-shaped ladies have recommendations for DVF dresses? I haz a gift card that I’d like to use (I think they do a big sale around memorial day, so the two combined will make this a frugal splurge). I am concerned that the DVF wrap may gape up top if it fits in the hips (and that their stuff runs small). Can be for work or for fun, but just needs to fit my shape (30D-28-38; usually a Talbots 6/J Crew 4 on bottom).
Anon
I’m the same shape and the basic wrap looks terrible on me but the really flared dresses work great and aren’t so exaggerated in real life. I have and love this one http://www.dvf.com/dvf-amelia-cotton-flared-wrap-dress/D7890028A14.html?dwvar_D7890028A14_color=OSMOR&dwvar_D7890028A14_size=0#cgid=dresses
Anon
Ps – size up a full size
Flying Squirrel
I was also going to suggest the Amelia wrap…though I haven’t tried it yet (have ordered a couple size from Nordstrom’s to try on). Exciting to hear about the LD sale!
I actually have a DVF wrap dress I got from the Neiman outlet that is fantastic. It’s got a full skirt, but it’s DVF exclusively for NM. It’s a version of their Jean wrap (spelled Jeanne). I have never found another, but I keep looking.
DontBlameTheKids
I’m pear shaped. I size up for dvf, and use a cami to keep the neckline from being too deep. I love them!
wowza
This is probably the most hideous thing I have ever seen recommended here.
Wildkitten
I think when Kat describes something as “unique” and “Very interesting” it’s not a good thing.
fds
I Agree. This is beyond awful. One post of a dress available in one size and this out of season frock. It’s as if this site is just banking on the commentors and is not even trying anymore.
Moon Moon
This dress looks like a 7th grader’s mistake in home economics class. Is it April 1st again?
Anon
Yeah. The satin insert looks like someone tacked on a napkin and was like “Oh, this is a cool design!”
nonprofit-ette
I absolutely hate this.
It could work
it’s sort of Star Trek meets bad restaurant hostess — perhaps if I get hired in a weirdly-themed restaurant some day?
Ellen
I am afraid I agree. I do NOT like the frock (or what ever it is called — is it silk or POLLYESTER? –FOOEY!). Usueally I will think long and hard before respondening, but here I TRUST the HIVE’s OPINION here, and will NOT recomend this dress by shareing this p’ost with ROSA. She NEVER like’s the stuff on Fruegel Friday’s, even tho I usueally LOVE Fruegel Friday’s.
Butch want’s to meet tomorrow. He again sugested @ his place on Broom Street, but I said NO, I do NOT want to go downtown to HIS place. So instead, he said we can meet at the Googenhiem, which is closer to ME, and then we can walk in Central Park after wards, b/c he want’s to get to know me. If he is worth it, I will show him 2nd Ave Deli, and that will be my FITBIT 10,000 step’s. He can then go home b/c I will NOT ask him to my apartement either. Men get to grabbey once they are in an apartement. But he said again that he does NOT want to sleep with me. I think he is saying that to much. I do NOT want a brother at this point, but is he sayeing that I am NOT sexy enough for me? Men are SOOOO confuseing sometimes. But I do not know him well enough yet, so haveing sex is out of the question any way. I told Myrna about him and she said she would check him out if I get interested b/c she know’s peeople at his Investement Bank. I still do NOT know exactely what an Investement Banker does, b/c he does NOT do what Ed does, and Ed Work’s for Merrill Lynch and he manage’s my account there. YAY!!!!!
Anon
Yes. I think the satin at the waist is particularly unflattering, plus the dress seems kind of short for work.
MJ
I know! 36″ “fine for most women”? Um, no…this dress would be club-length on me, and I have the world’s shortest torso. Just…no.
LH
I agree the dress looks way too short – but I do think 36″ is generally fine for most women. I’m 5’11” and I can get away with 38″ so I would imagine 36″ works for most of those 5’9″ and under, which is most women.
Wildkitten
I’m 5’9.5 and I need 38, so I agree with LH.
Lyssa
Hmm, I don’t hate it. It does look too short for work, though that’s always hard to tell on a model, and I’m not sure about the color (it doesn’t look great on my screen), but I think that the satin insert is interesting. I like that, and the sleeves and v-neck are nice. I’m not going to buy it, because, well, I practically never buy clothes online anyway and I’m not really looking for anything like that (plus the above concerns about color and length), but I don’t dislike it.
emeralds
Also don’t hate it. I wear a lot of that color, and really like the quality of the other Marc New York dress I have. I’d have to try it on, but eh, for $45 I’d give it a shot if I needed another work dress.
L
I agree. I really thought for a second if somehow today was a prank day and I wasn’t getting it.
a passion for fashion
i have to agree. i usually like all of the clothes (even when others don’t) and only think the (*comfortable*) shoes are bad, but this is just wrong in so many ways.
AIMS
I also really don’t get this. Usually even when I’m not a fan of something here, I at least can conceptually see how it would be good for someone, but this is all sorts of wrong from the length to the cheap looking satin.
NbyNW
Same here. Sorry Kat.
Anastasia
Yeah, same here. A matte dress with shiny fabric just on your stomach- even if it’s totally flat – is no bueno. The sleeves also look tight on the model, and something about the angle of the hem is making her arms look chubby, so that can’t bode well for thicker arms.
I don’t mind the color (although I wouldn’t wear it in the spring), but I don’t have anything good to say about the rest of it. Yuck.
Sydney Bristow
Call me crazy but I like it. I love this color and have a black dress that has a similar wide middle section like this but with straight edges that I really like. I’m not sure it would lie very well since it looks a bit rumpled on the model but it’s definitely not the worst thing I’ve seen recommended.
Emm
Yeah, it looks like something I would have worn in 6th grade in 1996. I am always excited for Frugal Fridays because it’s something I can actually afford, but this left me disappointed.
anon
+ 1 million.
AN
Agree. Truly hideous.
hahaha
KILL IT NOW!
Anne Shirley
I think this is the kind of dress that wants to look frumpy. It’s calling out to you: wear me with sheer black hose and chunky shoes. Go ahead. Put the scrunchie on. You know you want to.
L
See I picture it more as modern handmaiden/ renfair lawyer. Maybe a billowy top underneath and some braided ‘do.
Susedna
Totally. St Pauli Girl + 90s glum fabrics and colors = this dress.
Polished Pinstripes
Maybe that’s why I liked this dress at first. I think it reminded me of what I used to wear in high school when the billowy sleeves and lace-up-the-side shirts were in fashion (early 2000s).
cbackson
Scrunchie! Yes, it strikes me as very 1990s. It’s got that sort of drab, muddy-colored, everything-is-made-of-jersey look of 1990s fashion.
DontBlameTheKids
LOL! I snorted my coffee.
JJ
Yes! And wear me with a shaggy “Rachel” haircut, pale makeup, and dark wine-colored lipstick.
JJ
“worn with” … not “wear me.” Guess who’s sleep deprived this morning.
tesyaa
I thought it was the dress speaking…
Polished Pinstripes
Now that you have me thinking of it, the dress would also look lovely on Rachel Leigh Cook from She’s All That. It’s definitely from that era.
Rachelellen
Lip LINER, remember?
hoopa hoopa
Yes! And don’t forget the velvet choker!
buffybot
This is all very fitting, since it reminds me of a dress worn by Cher in Clueless (and then copied by that bratty girl).
“Do you prefer ‘fashion victim,’ or ‘ensembly challenged’?
Wedding Stress
Hi guys! Thanks everyone for the helpful suggestions to my stressed out wedding post a few days back. I gave some instructions to the FH and he went out and got a few things done this week so it’s looking a little better. I am also letting go of some things I wanted but don’t need (I’m looking at you, cake stand).
That being said, I could use some help from you all for finding a rehearsal dinner dress! Looking for something white, knee length or above, probably sleeveless, with a fit and flare type shape. Love texture like lace or cutouts or eyelet etc. Under $100 would be amazing. If anyone has seen anything that fits the bill please let me know! You guys are the best.
Wedding Stress
I should say – it can be casual or mid-dressy. I was considering this but it weirds me out that the first review was someone who wore it to a grade 8 grad, and it is on the casual side.
http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/meaningful-morning-dress?new_pdp_layout=true
It could work
I’ve seen girls that age at church and even there they tend to wear things way too short and this looks like it runs short, also.
For something slightly longer, you might try this (white) http://www.landsend.com/shop/womens-dresses-white/-/N-fy7Zt0
but LE has a lot of fit-and-flare dresses.
More expensive, there is a white eyelet dress at Vineyard Vines and other fit-and-flare dresses that are a bit pricier (but maybe you can snag a sale next week).
Meg Murry
This might be a little too casual, but someone posted it the other day and I remembered it because of the white eyelet.
http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=91340&vid=1&pid=954197082#close
NOLA
AIMS suggested it and I bought it in navy. Definitely casual and not the the highest quality but it was so inexpensive and really cute so I don’t care.
Back Home
This dress may be a bit casual but I like the cutouts/eyelets. Ann Taylor is offering 40% off entire purchase with code LOOK40 which would bring this dress down to around $90:
http://www.anntaylor.com/floral-embroidered-dress/327978?colorExplode=false&skuId=16186682&catid=cata000012&productPageType=fullPriceProducts&defaultColor=9000
Clementine
http://www.loft.com/mixed-cotton-eyelet-dress/338064?colorExplode=false&skuId=16481763&catid=catl000013&productPageType=fullPriceProducts&defaultColor=9000
Or… Rent the Runway. I may have been accused of being a ‘plant’ for frequently suggesting RTR as an option for special occasion dresses; however, I have found that especially for these one-time wear dresses, it was much more fun and cost effective for me to rent.
https://www.renttherunway.com/shop/designers/lillypulitzer_dresses/jordandress
…or just search for white dresses. They’ve got TONS! Lace, eyelet, everything.
MNF
I feel like RTR should pay me for all the promotion I do for them – glad I’m not the only one! I ordered my rehearsal dinner dress from RTR and used my “backup” option for the after-party.
anon a mouse
The Boden Ada dress is lovely and might work for you.
LEATTY
Here are a couple of options from Nordstrom:
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/bb-dakota-renley-lace-fit-flare-dress-nordstrom-exclusive/3720475?origin=category
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/one-rad-girl-regina-floral-lace-skater-dress/3775519?origin=category
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/kensie-laser-cut-eyelet-fit-flare-dress/3691767?origin=category&BaseUrl=For+the+Bride
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/gabby-skye-embroidered-organza-fit-flare-dress/3654428?origin=category&BaseUrl=For+the+Bride
LawyrChk
Anyone here tried Le Tote? I’m intrigued by the rotating wardrobe aspect, particularly for “fun” pieces that I’m likely to get tired of quickly. The price seems pretty reasonable at $49/month if you actually rotate frequently, although I don’t love that you have to send everything back together.
Cookie TJ
Friday TJ – what’s the best cookie recipe you’ve ever made? Nine times out of ten I default to a plain chocolate chip, but I want to try something new for a picnic this weekend.
Back Home
My absolute favorite is this brownie cookie which I sometimes make as a cookie sandwich as suggested by the recipe but more often than not I just top the cookie with buttercream (vanilla with tiny chocolate chips stirred in, orange-flavored, mint-flavored, etc.)
http://www.the-baker-chick.com/2012/09/salted-caramel-brownie-pies-a-virtual-baby-shower/
Back Home
I also get a lot of compliments on this chocolate peanut butter cookie which travels really well:
http://www.bakingandmistaking.com/2010/06/chocolate-peanut-butter-suprise-cookies.html
Sparrow
I really like the Soft Baked Funfetti Sugar Cookies from Sally’s Baking Addiction.
http://sallysbakingaddiction.com/2013/04/26/soft-baked-funfetti-sugar-cookies/
NOLA
I’ve started making the Toll House recipe but adding different things to it – like white chocolate chips and dried cherries, with either pecans or pistachios. You can also do that with a basic oatmeal cookie.
I also tried smitten kitchen’s salted oatmeal white chocolate cookies at Mardi Gras. They were good but not salted enough with her instructions, I though.
If you want to make something fancier looking, I have a recipe for a bonbon cookie that’s basically a shortbread wrapped around a Hershey kiss or a cherry, made round then dipped in pretty colored glazes. These are great for color-themed parties.
a passion for fashion
i do this too but with the quaker oats oatmeal cookie recipe. My favorite is oatmeal with white choc chips, crasins, and pecans.
AIMS
I really like the Oatmeal Current Cookie recipe from Alice Waters, I think this is more or less the recipe (my book is at home!) – http://pattysfood.com/cookies/my-friend-donnas-favorite-oatmeal-cookies/
I also recently had the most delicious cookies – basically a chewy oatmeal cookie that had lemon zest. It was such an unexpected but delicious combination. I haven’t tried to recreate them but you can find recipes online for this sort of thing.
If you want something completely different, I sometimes make cookies with dried pineapple chunks and macadamia nuts. You can also add white chocolate chips. I have the exact ingredients at home but it’s your basic sugar cookie dough with those ingredients thrown in.
Susedna
This sounds brilliant (chewy oatmeal cookie w/lemon zest). I like both, why not combine them? Thank you for an excellent suggestion. I know what I’m baking tomorrow afternoon!
AIMS
Let me know how it goes and what recipe you use. I might try to make them myself this weekend.
Anonymous
http://buddingbaketress.blogspot.com/2012/05/i-want-to-marry-you-cookies.html
Delicious and wicked easy
Golfballs
This is out of season but in case you’re still pondering this question in 6 months, these are the best cookies EVER. Chocolate pomegranate cookies (I added white chocolate chips and could not keep them out of my mouth)
http://www.danamadeit.com/2011/11/recipe-double-dark-chocolate-pomegranate-cookies.html
Cookie TJ
Oh man. Making these for the holidays next year! They look amazing.
Anastasia
Those look amazing!
Also out of season, but these are one of my favorites: http://www.marthastewart.com/344826/pumpkin-whoopie-pies-with-cream-cheese-f
Miss Behaved
Super easy and super tasty: http://smittenkitchen.com/blog/2009/04/chocolate-caramel-crackers/
I make mine with saltines and skip the nuts. I just sprinkle sea salt over the chocolate
Marilla
These are always a huge hit – I pack them with peanut chips, chocolate chips, and Reese’s pieces for colour: http://smittenkitchen.com/blog/2007/12/peanut-butter-cookies/ And they’re super easy to make.
anne-on
My unhealthiest but most delicious cookie recipe is the chocolate peanut butter chip cookies from the reese’s peanut butter chips bag. I don’t make them much anymore since my son’s school is a peanut free zone but man are they good.
rosie
Love these cappuccino cookies: http://joythebaker.com/2011/02/cappuccino-cookies-with-espresso-and-white-chocolate/ (works fine w/dark or milk chocolate, too)
Hillary C.
I ain’t got time to bake cookies but when I do I use brown butter in my chocolate chips.
Sydney Bristow
If you are up for a cookie that is quite the process to make, the best I’ve ever made are Nutella-Stuffed Brown Butter Sea Salt Chocolate Chip Cookies. Absolutely delicious. I can’t remember which blogger it is but Google should bring it up.
Anon
Its Ambitious Kitchen. I make these regularly and everyone I give them too dies. I get requests for more VERY often.
Anonymous
+1
Best cookies ever.
Anastasia
I have to be a dissenting voice: I made these a couple years ago and didn’t think they were worth the effort. They were delicious, but not delicious enough that I feel the need to individually wrap cookie dough around little Nutella balls ever again.
Do you ladies have any tips on how to make them less of a headache, just in case I have hours to kill making cookies someday? :)
I will say it’s important to make them in a cool kitchen – if the Nutella or the cookie dough gets melty, it gets sticky and messy and makes everything that much worse.
Sydney Bristow
I kept putting the Nutella in the freezer and left all but a small chunk of the dough in the fridge.
Senior Attorney
Disclaimer: I haven’t made the cookies or even looked at the recipe.
But that said, most cookies can be made as bars instead of individual cookies. Maybe spread a layer of Nutella between layers of the cookie dough and call ’em Nutella-Stuffed Brown Butter Sea Salt Chocolate Chip Bars?
Sydney Bristow
That is a great idea!
Anastasia
Brilliant! I’m going to try it. I think the Nutella might ooze out everywhere if it’s not contained by cookie on all sides, but I kind of find that appealing…
Miz Swizz
If you don’t spread the Nutella to the edge of the cookie layer, it should at least seal it in at the edges. Not sure how it would work with the middle pieces but someone should report back if they attempt it!
Shay-La
I make these banana nut oatmeal cookies but not often as they disappear in a day or two. I’ve made the other oatmeal cookies on this site too, and they are good, but these are the best. Pay no attention to the low fat part (I mean, they are) but they taste full flavor.
http://www.skinnytaste.com/2011/04/chewy-low-fat-banana-nut-oatmeal.html
Mpls
Oatmeal with butterscotch chips, nutmeg, cinnamon and cloves.
Gail the Goldfish
plain old iced sugar cookies are always a big hit, because when your icing is basically just sugar, how could it not be? I don’t have my recipe with me, but I use an icing recipe that is just powdered sugar +milk + vanilla extract (I think it’s vanilla; may be almond. May be both), instead of typical royal icing recipes which use egg. Tastes even better if the cookies have been in the fridge for a day.
Poppy
Vanishing Oatmeal Raisin Cookies from the Quaker Oats canister. But I usually use chocolate chips instead of raisins. These cookies are always a hit!
Philanthropy Girl
I’m late to the conversation, but my aunt sent me this recipe and I love it (plus I get to eat the whole batch because DH doesn’t like cherries). Laura Bush’s Oatmeal Chocolate Chunk Cookies
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/recipe?id=6873906
Anon
oh, h3ll no! This dress is hideous.
anon
The woman who sits next to me is filing her nails at her desk. Please tell me this is not a common office practice. I’m appalled.
Anon
I would prefer that to the person in my old office who clipped their nails at their desk.
Wildkitten
Yeah. I’m fine with filing. I am NOT OKAY with clipping.
ExecAssist
Ditto. I had a cube neighbor who did this. He moved two cubes down (oh happy day!) but I can still hear it :(
Susedna
One of the guys here, who I’ll call, “N”, clips his nails in his office. Another (male) coworker, who I’ll call “X” has disturbing long fingernails (and yes, they’re dirty, too.)
Perhaps I can get N to offer a pedicure service to X?
Susedna
Well, I need some caffeine! I meant to say “manicure,”– we haven’t descended to such depths even at my office as to start with the foot grooming. Ugh.
Clementine
Eh, I’ve been known to file down a chipped or broken nail from time to time at my desk. A full self-mani might be a lot.
Headphones or earplugs if the sound is bugging you?
Sparrow
Yeah, I just did this a few minutes ago b/c I had a really jagged edge that was getting caught on my clothes. I will also clip a single broken nail, but never a full on nail-clipping.
AIMS
I don’t think anyone would notice either of those things. We’ve all done it, and it’s why I keep a pair of nail clippers in my make up bag. It’s the full on “let’s do both hands!” that grosses people out.
FWIW, years ago, I had an office made who did this and I would just leave each time – it was just so disturbing. I’ve also seen people do it on the subway. So much worse!
Samantha
Haha guys – I challenge you to beat this. I used to have a male coworker who clipped his TOEnails in the office. Hairy feet and all.
Beaten
I started a job at a new office and pulled open a small draw on the desk and it was filled with the previous person’s nail clippings.
Brunette Elle Woods
Our secretary clips her nails at the front desk. I don’t see it, but I can hear it!
CKB
I bought my first one piece swimming suit in years last night because I am going to start swimming laps again (like I did years & years ago). Two great things about the experience:
1. It’s actually comfortable because it is a long torso size! I always blamed one pieces not fitting me right on my hips. Turns out it was my torso’s fault.
2. I was a size smaller than I thought! I try not to pay attention to the size on the tag of my clothes, but it’s a very nice feeling to say to the salesperson “I actually need an 8 – this 10 is too big”
long torso
Curious – what did you get? I need a long torso size, and to quote the 60-something saleslady who tried to help me at Dillard’s, “they’re all for old ladies.”
CKB
I got a Tyr suit – the size has an ‘L’ after the number. It was the only long style in the store (I went to Swimco – a swimming suit specialty store), and it’s not super fashionable, but it will be good for swimming lengths. It’s a black tank style with a v neck & turquoise piping along the arm holes & the v-neck. Not old lady, but not super exciting, either. I’ll probably stick to 2 piece suits for fun swimming, though. I was really excited, however, because I had no idea one piece suits could actually be comfortable as regular suits always dig in at the leg holes on me, and it’s just not fun.
anon
I have never heard of this & it’s totally my issue with swimsuits – just checked jCrew & they have tons of one-pieces in long-torso size.
Senior Attorney
No, it wasn’t your torso’s fault. It was always the fault of the not-long-torso-sized suits!!
CKB
You are so right – I try very hard not to blame my body for clothes that don’t fit right. I should have said the reason was my torso, not my hips. I didn’t mean to blame this body of mine that has done so many amazing things for me!
Cher Horowitz
Do you prefer fashion victim or ensembly challenged?
I recognize this dress is similar to many of my own…but it’s still bad.
TNTT
Omg yes. This dress was at that party.
Miss Behaved
Oh my god, it’s totally that dress!
anne-on
HA! Yes, this dress is sooo 90s.
JJ
http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/33900000/cher-clueless-33982176-1600-900.jpg
buffybot
Ahhh I inadvertently plagiarized you up above! Just didn’t read far enough. I was so perplexed as to why no one had made that reference yet…
Cher Horowitz
Great minds think alike :)
Blonde Lawyer
In light of some news today, I’m pondering — should public figures be held responsible for things they say in private conversation that just happen to be overheard or recorded. What about private figures? At what point does it become a right to privacy/free speech issue? First there was the Sterling/Clippers incident. The one I’m reflecting on today is a local police commissioner overheard at a restaurant making negative race based comments about the president, including the N word, who has no been asked to step down and resign.
My initial reaction to both of these issues is good! We can’t have people that are racist in these positions. Would a racist police commissioner care if his department was racial profiling? Would he encourage it?
What if it wasn’t race. A judge recently stepped down because he was overheard at a bar function making negative remarks about women lawyers and that they were “making the profession less respectable.” If he feels that way about women lawyers, he probably shouldn’t be a judge. But, what if he was hanging out with his friends in his house playing poker and said that. Should he still be reprimanded?
I think where I stand on the issue is if you say something in either a public or private forum that shows an animosity towards a protected class than your employer should be able to take action against you for that as such an attitude is not compatible with the workplace. At the same time though, it seems rather creepy and scary to think that anything you say at any minute of everyday could be used against you by your employer.
Easy solution – don’t be racist/sexist/classist, etc. All of the things causing me to ponder this were pretty clear cut BAD things to say. But what if it isn’t clear cut or taken out of context. What if you were just repeating something someone else said. Like if at the water cooler today I said “did you hear what the police commissioner said? He said President Obama is a ____.” And someone walked by and just heard me say President Obama is a ____. In that instance the other person could probably explain for me what happened. But I can also see how someone could get set up too, which is what I think the judge I mentioned above claimed happened. He said he was repeating an argument he heard someone make, not his own personal opinion. Likely just back tracking to cover his butt. Who gets to decide though?
Should a line be drawn where certain out of work things are off limits? Talking with a spouse in a park even if overheard?
Blonde Lawyer
It seems Ask A Manager just addressed a similar issue. Female intern works at company with other interns. Male intern is throwing a party outside of work titled CEO’s and Office Hoes. Female intern is insulted and declined to attend. Other interns are all going. Not work sponsored or at work. Just between interns. Should business intervene? If yes because of “office hoes” what if it was a “boats and hoes” party and he was inviting only out of work friends?
Wildkitten
Don’t invite your co-workers to any parties with the word “hoe” in the title. Again – basic bright line rule.
It could work
Compounding the crime — not only does someone throw this party (can some woman who goes please attend in a suit) but then confuses an agricultural implement with a slang pronunciation of a word for a woman of easy virtue.
tesyaa
Thank you. “Hoe” was bothering me too.
Blonde Lawyer
Took the quote from AAM and didn’t even catch the misspelling and then copied it. Sorry!
WestCoast Lawyer
The confusion is widespread enough to have made it into a 7th circuit opinion…
http://www.thelawstreetjournal.com/blog/post/ludacris-and-the-7th-circuit/
Lyssa
I’m not saying that it was a good idea, particularly talking about it at work, but I think that it should be kept in mind that these were college kids, not fully fledged career folks. Yes, it’s offensive, but that’s sort of the point – they grew up in a world of Seth McFarland-style-the-more-offensive-the-funnier and of exaggerated absurdity just to be “ironic.” (Think of that Steven Cobert thing a few weeks ago where he mimics racism to make fun of racism.) They’re really just trying to find a chance to dress funny and be silly and make a general mockery of social norms in the way that seems so important when you’re under 25 or so. Again, not the best idea, and we can talk about how that style of humor/absurdity might carry over into real life, and it certainly deserves a talk about proper office discussions, but I personally thought that the reaction from AAM and the commentators was over the top.
Wildkitten
I think when kids screw up in an internship it’s a great learning opportunity for them to know what not to do in the workplace for the rest of their lives. I though AAMs answer was spot on – not that the kid should be fired, but that a manager should explain what is and isn’t appropriate.
Wildkitten
Don’t repeat racial slurs and you won’t be heard out of context as saying a racial slur… that’s a pretty basic bright line rule.
TNTT
+1
Anonymous
This can’t possibly be serious.
Mpls
Sounds doable to me. If you say it, expect to have to explain it.
AIMS
I don’t know where the line should be but I am uncomfortable with private conversations being punished in public. Bill Maher actually had a great rant about this on his show last week. As far as the police captain or the judge, I am more inclined to think these people don’t belong in positions of power so I can see their removal being warranted, but I’d rather have people be able to speak their mind even if it is to say something I find offensive.
Anon
Free speech just means that people are not going to get arrested for saying certain things that are completely offensive.
So tired of people acting like it means that it’s a right to speech free of consequences (whether economic, social etc).
If you say horribly racist things to your spouse in the park and your colleague overhears – you should face the consequences.
roses
That is a much more succinct version of what I said below – thank you.
Blonde Lawyer
I agree. I thought this would be an interesting discussion because there is a lot of talk around here about “where do we draw the line.” I think the answer is, so long as we have at-will employment, the line is where the employer wants it to be. Do I think a school teacher should be fired for having a drink in her hand in a Facebook photo? No. But, if her employer wants to make that a rule and she is aware of that rule then she has to follow that rule.
I also agree that discriminatory speech should be called out in particular when said by people in positions of power.
Blonde Lawyer
Now I’m back peddling. There are situations that I think are over reaching for employers too. I don’t think employers should have a say in whether my insurance pays for my birth control or not. I don’t think an employer should be able to fire me for having opposite political views on any subject. (I don’t think political views (absent discussion of protected classes) is protected on its own.)
tesyaa
It’s just insane that insurance is largely provided and expected to be provided by employers. That’s all I want to say.
Hildegarde
I don’t get it. Why should an employer be allowed to control what pictures you post on facebook, but not control which medical services the employer pays for?
Wildkitten
Medical services are private and facebook photos are public.
Hildegarde
Facebook photos don’t really have to do with work, though; the only reason I can think an employer would want to control them is to protect the employer’s reputation. In this example, the employer would want its employees to project a non-drinking image of the company. So, we’re saying an employer can control facebook photos because it’s ok for an employer to care about its reputation.
Employers who don’t want to pay for birth control aren’t worried about their reputation; they’re worried about participating in an activitiy they believe is wrong. It doesn’t make sense to me to say it’s ok for employers to worry about their reputation, but not about the rightness or wrongness of their actions.
As an illustration (I realize this wouldn’t really happen) I think it’s the same as saying a company in the 80’s who believed apartheid was wrong could be forced to conduct trade with South Africa, so long as the trade remained secret so the employer’s reputation wouldn’t be damaged. Moral beliefs are more important than reputation; if an employer can worry about the latter, it should be able to worry about the former.
Blonde Lawyer
This is such a tough issue and makes for great debate because there are so many legitimate points on all sides. I view access to medical care as a fundamental right. I’m one of those people that is pro health care for all and taking it out of the hands of employers. Not sure I would want it in the hands of the government either so I know I’m never going to see my perfect day.
I also see controlling reproduction as a human right, gender issue and religious issue. A company in my eyes isn’t actually a person. Rather, it is an individual manager imposing his or her religious beliefs on his or her employees. A company can have a reputation, however.
Ideally, I’d rather the employer stay out of the employees personal life all together and not care if the employee posts a drunk pic on FB. Legally though, I think they are two different beasts. Also, you can have opposing religious views were allowing one to exercise theirs, it impedes the other persons.
Generally I think employers should stay out of imposing morality on employees outside of work. If the employees out of work immoral behavior shows a lack of judgment, that lack of judgment will come through at some point in the workplace and can be disciplined then. That said, would you want your 16 year old’s high school teacher to have his FB profile photo be of him doing a keg stand wearing a t-shirt that says “smoke weed everyday”? It seems in that instance parents could have rightful cause for concern.
I guess the better solution would be to only allow employers to tread into their employees private lives when it becomes an issue of whether he or she can effectively do his or her job. How we define that becomes difficult, though.
Hildegarde
I agree this is a nuanced issue (hence the expanding length of our posts), and I really wish employers and healthcare had nothing to do with one another. I further (strongly) agree that employers should not meddle in their employees private lives except to the extent it affects the employee’s job performance.
However, in this case, I think “access to medical care” is a misleading phrase. An employer’s not paying for birth control doesn’t prevent people from using birth control – that is, it doens’t prevent their access – it just requires the employees to pay for it themselves. I read some study (sorry to be so vague; it was a while ago) in which a minisucle portion of women with unwanted pregancies cited “birth control is too expensive” as the reason for their pregnancy. So employers’ not paying for birth control doesn’t really prevent access to it.
Also, for some people with health problems birth control is indeed “medical care,” but for people who use it only to avoid getting pregnant, I don’t think it quite counts as medical care. An unwanted pregnancy isn’t an illness; it’s just undesired.
I believe companies should not count as persons, with rights, but we do recognize their right to free speech (making political donations, much to my chagrin). I think as long as that’s the case, we have to acknowledge that in the eyes of the law they are “people,” and if they have speech rights they should have free exercise of religion rights.
Ultimately, there are many issues on this topic to debate, but to me it comes down to a balancing test. On one side are an employer’s religious beliefs, and on the other side are employees’ desire to have s*x (not sure if I’ll get moderated) without getting pregnant and without paying for birth control. If you don’t like religion, you can substitute “deeply held moral beliefs.” Those seem more important to me than a person’s right to have baby-free s*x at no cost to himself/herself.
Hildegarde
Also, I would not want my child, if I had one, to see the facebook picture you describe. Although I really dislike the idea of an employer’s controlling the behavior of its employees, I do support an employer’s right to require teachers, for example, not to post a picture like that. My point was more than the reputation-right is less important than the moral beliefs-right.
anon
Yeah, it’s not a free speech issue, but it’s also not getting fired for beign a racist. He has an ownership interest in the team that’s being taken away based on an illegal recording. Clearly it’s not the first amendment, but that doens’t make it right. What he said was awful, but it creates a slippery slope. What if it comes out that he’s demented? (I don’t think that’s what this is because he has some bad practices in the past, but with another person, ti could be.) What if he’s against gay marriage? What if he’s pro gay marriage but thinks that being gay is wrong because he’s a Christian? What if he’s a Christian and therefore thinks that Muslims are going to h*ll? There’s just a really slippery slope here.
Famouscait
But if that slippery slope is towards a more inclusive society, isn’t that a good thing? I’m not sure – but it seems like not tolerating intolerance would lead us somewhere positive in the end.
anon
So you aren’t allowed to say anything intolerant in private? What if it’s your religious view? You aren’t allowed to think that Muslims are going to h*ll? What about Muslims’ beliefs? They have all sorts of beliefs on women and hom* s*x*uals that you probably don’t approve of . I don’t want to live in that kind of society where they can’t believe that (or say it, which is basiaclly the same thing).
Also, what of the fact that she literally broke the law by recording him? No big deal?
Famouscait
*I’m replying to my own comment because it won’t let me do so directly to anon below.*
I’m speaking more theoretically here, in the spirit of good-natured debate and without any degree of certainty…. I would like to believe we (as people) and religions (as belief systems) would one day evolve to a point where all people regardless of gender or sexual preference, per your examples, would be recognized as inherently worthy of dignity and respect.
I have no perspective on whether or not recording someone was illegal – I’m not a lawyer and rely on the others here who are to expertly debate that point.
Anonymous
You’ve touched on the key issue here which is what the “punishment” or “consequences” (as someone phrased it above) one should get for violating these social norms. Right now we’re in the “ruin the violator socially and economically permanently” level instead of the “call out this inappropriate behavior and encourage them not to do that with something short of permanent ruin” level that we should probably be at.
Regarding making a “more inclusive society,” that is something that should be valued. But there are competing values here, namely being able to speak one’s mind and being able to have some semblance of privacy. Both of those were infringed to a greater or lesser extent here. Perhaps we decide that the more inclusive society value wins out in this instance, but I think the greater consequences in other contexts with more borderline cases aren’t being seriously considered.
NOLA
Anonymous, Donald Sterling has been getting away with this and much worse for years. This is just the first time he had to face serious consequences.
Anonymous
NOLA,
I think that’s a fair point and perhaps justifies what has happened in this context.
I’m more concerned with situations like Juan Williams getting fired from NPR because he said he gets nervous when he gets on airplanes with people dressed in garb that appears to identify them as Muslim. The statement was meant to start a discussion about how we societally should deal with that fear post-9/11, but instead Williams was fired as a bigot. Juan Williams landed on his feet at Fox News, but that’s not the case for most people that have faced similar situations over the years. I think we’re creating absolutist societal rules in particular areas that will become untenable when other values assert themselves more strongly as we approach more difficult cases. That’s all I’m saying.
Wildkitten
He paid like the biggest settlement ever for being a discriminatory landlord. So this isn’t the first time he’s faced consequences. That time didn’t teach him a lesson and this time he probably won’t learn from either.
anon
And what about African Americans who say bad things about white people?
Also, the question posed by Anonymous is about grayer area questions, not the Sterling case necessarily. What he said was awful. But there are less awful things that could still get you booted under that standard.
Wildkitten
@Anon 12:14 – Ruined my day! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CmzT4OV-w0
anon
I’m not saying that reverse racism is common, but I have heard some AA say some pretty awful things. Like Jeremiah Wright – just because he’s the example that I thought of, regardless of hte Obama implications. He said some pretty awful things. Would his NBA team have been taken from him?
To Anon at 12:59pm
Reverse racism does not exist. You cannot be racist against the dominant social and political group. It’s a question of power. You can be hateful, or prejudiced, or ignorant, or what-have-you – but not “reverse racist”.
Logic & Reality
To anon @ 1:06:
Hi, you don’t get to make up new definitions for words or deny their reality because it doesn’t suit you or your agenda. Anyone can be a racist, including minorities. It’s not a question of power. Invest in a dictionary. Thanks.
Mpls
It was an illegal recording? My understanding was that all parties involved knew the recording was happening.
To Anon at 12:14pm
African Americans who say bad things about white people (assuming you’re talking blanket statements about the entire race) can be correctly said to be rude, or discriminatory, or prejudiced.
They cannot, by definition, however, be said to be racist.
NYNY
If racism is discrimination based on race, then anyone can be a racist. What’s your definition?
anon
Okay, fine. Then that. My point still stands.
roses
“Free speech” means (in the US) that you are free to say all of those things and not get put in jail. There is no “right to privacy,” although it is illegal to record a conversation to which you are not a party (and in about a dozen states, it’s illegal to record a conversation to which you are a party if the other person doesn’t consent). Therefore, this issue isn’t about being “punished” for what a person says or thinks, but rather about organizations deciding that a person who holds terrible views is not the appropriate person for the job. I don’t think organizations make these decisions automatically – even in the Sterling case, they didn’t take action until he actually admitted he said the racist remarks. Although possible, it’s pretty unlikely that an unintentional remark – or a set-up – would get you automatically fired for something.
Law Prof
Actually there is a penumbral right to privacy found in the constitution, it was recognized in Griswold v CT and later in Roe and in many other cases.
You’re right that free speech is simply about the government not being able to punish you for your speech and that right certainly has limitations. The NBA isn’t a state actor so the 1st amendment obviously doesn’t apply to it. The actual outcome of the Sterling situation depends on the NBA bylaws that DS agreed to when he became an owner. It’s a straight contractual question.
A set up or out of context remark does often get people fired though. Let’s not be naïve. It happens much more frequently than we realize and it’s often used as cover for something else.
NOLA
I listen to a lot of ESPN radio and have heard the discussion so it’s something that I’ve given some thought to. The thing is, I wouldn’t make racist remarks in private because I don’t think that way. If you’re not racist (and I’m not saying I’m perfect), then you don’t say things in private or public that are racist. What Donald Sterling said in private was the way he really thinks – not how he speaks when he’s censoring himself in public – okay, bad example because Donald Sterling has proven himself to be a bumbling racist idiot even when he’s attempting to apologize. But what I’m trying to say is that what you say in private is how you really are and what you really think – and that’s very telling. So what I’m trying to say, in a long-winded way is that, if you say these things privately, then it’s a more accurate representation of your real feelings, especially if you censor yourself in public. It just means you’re a hypocrite and privately racist. That’s more insidious, in many ways, because people don’t know that you are prejudiced toward a certain group, don’t put your actions in that light, and may not see you for what you really are.
AIMS
I’m not sure this is actually what you’re getting at, but I am always so troubled by the “if you have nothing to hide, why should this bother you” line of reasoning. It usually comes up in the govt spying context, as in “well, I don’t care who reads my emails or monitors my phone, I’m not hiding anything” but I’ve heard it utilized with this situation as well (“just don’t say anything that can be misinterpreted!”).
The Sterling situation is easy in some ways – he said something almost everyone agrees sounded insane and ridiculous, he’s an old man, he has a history of this stuff, let’s all shun him. But there are grayer areas and I just think it’s absurd that some of the response to this situation is that we should all just watch what we say. Not saying that’s what you’re getting at NOLA and I agree that it’s in some ways worse when someone is secret about his or her biases, but just also troubled by the “so what if your private conversations are made public” aspect of all this.
anon
AIMS, you’re starting to sound like a libertarian! ;)
AIMS
I agree with libertarian positions on a few issues! I just happen to also believe there is a role for government in society and that Ayn Rand is a terrible writer ;)
cbackson
This is not on point, but one of my bright-line, “not going out with you” factors in online dating is whether the guy lists Atlas Shrugged as his favorite book. Not because of politics, but because of poor literary judgment.
WestCoast Lawyer
There was an awesome line on the Good Wife this week. Someone mentions Ayn Rand and Alicia says “Oh dear God, have you read her books? They’re awful. It’s a 12-year old’s view of the world. It’s like basing your philosophy on the books of John Grisham.” I slugged my way through Atlas Shrugged, and while the concept was somewhat interesting, by the end I would just skip several pages ahead whenever someone started making a big long speech about something.
NOLA
Oh, I agree that it’s a slippery slope and I’m not talking about spying or taping in general. I was referring specifically to racist or otherwise intolerant remarks made in private vs. public and that what you say in private is just more real than the public censoring that many people do.
The Sterling case is particular in that: a) it’s not really about free speech because it’s about the NBA contract with the owners, as someone else said above; b) this is an industry where the employees are majority African-American and the employer is called an “owner” so it’s particularly disturbing; c) even weirder that it was twisted by his relationship with this woman and his odd explanation of intent; and, d) this man has a history of saying and doing horrible things about and to minorities.
AIMS
I think that’s part of the problem with addressing the issue. In some ways, it’s easier to deal with someone who wants to have segregated fountains or believes that women should not be allowed to work. It’s much trickier when you have someone like Sterling who thinks he means well but is actually holding these very biased opinions about some people being inherently better or worse than others. Or with the NYT publisher for that matter paying Jill Abramson less money than the men she supervised.
But I also think that by shunning all speech that makes us uncomfortable we are missing an opportunity to have a constructive dialog about it. Part of the reason that people don’t believe the crazy sh*t they used to is because the debate on those subjects in this country has been largely won. But if we don’t continue the conversation, people will just continue to self segregate and hold on to that which they won’t say in public but think in private. That’s not really progress either.
National_Anthem
This is not specifically in response to you, I just wanted to add it to the conversation re: free speech and consequences.
http://xkcd.com/1357/
Hover over for additional text.
WestCoast Lawyer
I also struggle with exactly where the line should be, but one factor that I think often gets overlooked and distinguishes the cases like Sterling, Paula Deen and others is that they are in a business where the companies they are affiliated with have a very tangible value associated with the brand, and the views they expressed would have led to serious economic consequences if they were not forced out. If I hold offensive views but manage to keep them out of the workplace, the impact on my employer is much less. But if you are going to hold a very public position you should understand that you need to be much, much more careful about what you say, in public and in private. I don’t know the details of the NBA owners’ contracts, but that’s exactly why morals clauses exist. If Sterling isn’t forced out, the NBA would likely face a substantial loss of revenue on the Clippers brand (and associated impacts on the players’ careers and everyone else who works for the Clippers organization). I also think it’s worth keeping in mind that to the extent he is being punished for his actions, he’s expected to make a ton of money from selling the team, so the only thing he is really loosing is the prestige of being able to say he owns a basketball team.
San Francisco
If I was to move from NYC to San Franciso, what would I think about rent prices? similar? Lower? Would I need to buy a car or is public transit generally enough?
Wildkitten
1. similiar/depends on where you live
2. no/depends on where you live
Charlotte York
If moving to SF proper (and not the Richmond or Sunset), no a car is not necessary. Price will be the same.
Anon
Rent here is now a little higher but won’t sticker shock you. You also get a little more room here so you may be able to size down and get the same space for the same money as in NYC. Car depends on what you like to do. Personally I like leaving the city to hike, go to napa, and grocery shop so I can’t imagine not having one. That said, get a tiny one – mini, fiat, smart or else parking is a nightmare.
attornaut
I found SF more expensive than NYC on the lower end; depending on where you live, you can get by without a car, but there isn’t anything similar in price and convenience to a number of neighborhoods in brooklyn or queens. If you are moving from Manhattan, you may not see a difference.
MJ
Also, please, please know that SF transportation is not nearly as seamless as NY. Our busses are packed to the brim, often filled with mentally ill folks. Depending on your neighborhood it may literally take an hour to get to work as you inch slowly, if you take busses. The Muni only covers very limited portions of the City. You will walk a lot, and up and down hills, in possibly windy, wet cold weather (not that NYC doesn’t have its share of biting wind). That said, certain neighborhoods mean that it is really hard to get to work on the bus and Muni might not reach there. People deal with this by cabbing/Lyfting/Ubering every day (if you have the money) to work, biking, scooters, walking…the bus is pretty rough, as I mentioned. So really understand your commute before you pick a neighborhood.
You really don’t need a car in the City, but it’s nice to ZipCar for weekend trips to Napa or Marin or Tahoe. Parking is really bad in most of the city, and garage spots can cost hundreds of dollars (on both ends of your commute). Also, certain neighborhoods in the City mean that if you street-park, your car will almost invariably be broken into, multiple times, even if there is nothing in view (I’m looking at you, Mission!).
Carrie
Any suggestions/links for the belt that you wear with the popular Land’s End sleeveless ponte sheath dress?
http://www.landsend.com/products/womens-sleeveless-ponte-sheath-dress-with-pockets/id_242219
I don’t really like the skinny belt the model is wearing and how it falls. What do you wear? Maybe wide is better? I own very few work appropriate belts (and dresses for that matter) so I’m trying to figure out what works.
I am a skinny pear, with a slightly high waist.
Sparrow
I prefer to wear a wider belt than the one shown in the picture. I am closest to hour-glass shape and short-waisted. I wear the belt a bit higher up than my natural waist to create more of an A-line look.
Belt advice needed
Thanks. Does anyone have link to a belt that works when you are wearing it a little high like this, and falls nicely?
I’m embarrassed to say I have never worn dresses to work in the past, but my weight fluctuations are pushing me away from my usual tailored pants so I am trying to pick up some basics that can work. A waist defining belt to wear with dresses like this is one such thing.
Shopping Help
I really like this bag and feel like it would be really good for errands and traveling but I don’t exactly want to spend $200 – any suggestions for something similar and cheaper?
Shopping Help
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/marc-by-marc-jacobs-preppy-nylon-natasha-mini-crossbody-bag/3348511
Anon
So, I have been really slacking on taking care of my nails in the last year or so, but I will be on the job hunt soon and don’t have the first clue about what colors are in style now and are appropriate for interviewing. I prefer either Shellac or Gelish colors since I do them at home (I have my own lamp) and like them to last as long as possible, but the last two I tried ended up being a neon-y pink and a muddy brown. Any recs??
SC
I like OPI’s Glints of Glinda. I use it for gel manicures. It’s a very pale pink and looks natural/ barely there on me, so it would be interview appropriate.
Famouscait
Is 25% off a good sale for Dorothy Perkins, or do they come ’round often? Does anyone have experience with their maternity clothes? Thanks!
Toffee
Could the terrible choices be the new assistant editor Kat hired?
hahaha
I think Kat has horrible/tacky taste sometimes. Do we all remember the aqua fur scarf she once picked around the holidays (all sorts of vomitish).
Gail the Goldfish
You mean the one that looked like someone had skinned Cookie Monster? Yea, I remember that one.
Anastasia
And was real fur from China? That induced me to look up the practices of fur farms in China and be completely traumatized? Yes.
I usually like Kat’s taste. I’m going to chalk this one up to pregnancy brain.
hahaha
Yes, that might’ve been the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen. the only people I could ever think who would buy that were some real housewives.
tesyaa
If it’s not lace shorts it must be OK.
Senior Attorney
I actually think this dress would be great if it were shortened to tunic length and worn over matching lace shorts…
E
Reposting something I posted late last night on the coffee break to see if it might get more responses here:
Could I crowd source some shopping advice please? About to start as a summer associate in a business-attire office. I’m told women generally wear sheath/shift dresses and blazers when they aren’t wearing suits. My lower body does not look its best in pants (generally a bit pear-shaped and athletic) so those are out generally. I’m having trouble finding sufficiently formal dresses and blazers that are flattering without being too trendy. Does anyone have suggestions of blazers and dresses you love, as well as (ideally) outfit pairings? I know it’s pathetic that I’m incapable of dressing myself, but I just got out of law school finals and haven’t had time to shop around much!
AIMS
Look for classic shapes in both and you won’t go wrong. Something like this dress in any color (maybe not bright if it’s a very conservative office) would work. http://www.lordandtaylor.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/en/lord-and-taylor/womens-apparel/wa-suiting-seps/v-neck-sheath-dress-0155-10497012–1
If you’re trying to stretch your wardrobe, get more sedate colors because they’re less memorable. You could wear a black sheath dress on Monday with a matching blazer and the same dress on Friday with a different blazer/cardigan and no one will notice.
AIMS
This dress is marked down now for around $40 and would probably be get you a lot of mileage.
http://www.lordandtaylor.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/en/lord-and-taylor/womens-apparel/wa-suiting-seps/honeycomb-sheath-dress
AIMS
For a blazer, something in a bright color like this could work well with more basic colored dresses. http://www.lordandtaylor.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/en/lord-and-taylor/womens-apparel/wa-suiting-seps/one-button-blazer-0125-10509254–1
Samantha
Search this site for pear shaped dresses, you’ll get tons and tons of recs from past posts!
Rural Juror
Sounds like my office. I’ve been wearing this dress on repeat, often leaving blazer on my chair. I am generally between sizes at J.Crew and sized down (pleating at waist gives lots of room on the bottom). https://www.jcrew.com/womens_category/dresses/weartowork/PRD~08173/08173.jsp?Nbrd=J&Nloc=en_CA&Nrpp=48&Npge=1&Ntrm=crepe&isSaleItem=true&isFromSearch=true&isNewSearch=true&hash=row3
hoopa hoopa
FWIW, I am similarly shaped and find skirts to work a lot better than dresses. I typically wear them with a top of the same color for the same effect.
Mine are too old to link, but I generally have good luck with Ann Taylor/LOFT or Talbots. I have one from white house black market that fits like a glove, but I don’t normally shop there so I don’t know if that’s typical.
LH
To me, “business attire” means a suit or a sheath and coordinated blazer made out of suiting fabric. I wouldn’t call a sheath + non-matching blazer “business attire.” To me that’s the dressier side of business casual. So I’d definitely wait until you’ve been there a week or two before you invest in anything that’s not a suiting piece. You should probably wait a week or two anyway to get a sense of what people wear – that’s standard summer associate advice regardless of dress code. 2 or 3 suits and at least 5 tops should should be ok for two weeks. It is way better to look frumpy than inappropriate – so if you aren’t sure you can find dresses/skirts that are long enough or formal enough, go with pants even if you don’t think they’re very flattering. If you are questioning whether they’re long enough or formal enough, they’re probably not. If you’re looking to bulk up your suit wardrobe, I’d try to buy multiple pieces from the same suiting collection. You can buy a jacket, skirt, pants and sheath dress and you suddenly have 3 different suits.
E
Thank you for these points and suggestions! I just want to clarify my original post in light of this:
-Re: The dress code: The firm is, officially, business attire. That said, I spent a decent amount of time there throughout the interview process, and while the men wore suits and ties, the women seemed to have a lot more flexibility, from partners through first-year associates. Friends who worked there last summer also said sheaths and non-matching blazers (or even cardigans, which strikes me as too casual) were standard. I fully intend to wear only suits for the first week or two to ensure that I’m getting the right impression of the dress code and also giving the right impression as I meet people, but my expectation is that suits will not be required every day, so I thought while I had some spare time I would build my wardrobe a bit.
-Re: Suiting collections: J. Crew is the only brand I have found that makes suits that fit me, and I have three J. Crew suits (black, navy and slightly lighter than charcoal), through which I will rotate in the beginning of the summer. J. Crew skirts and dresses in my size also hit at the perfect length (knee-length or just below; I would absolutely not wear something if I were worried about its length). Unfortunately, J. Crew is not ideal for “suiting collections,” because dresses that in theory should match blazers (in terms of color and fabric) often do not. Brands like Theory that are better about providing an entire suiting collection for mix-and-match purposes don’t work for my body shape. If you know of other brands that make more complete suiting collections and that work for women who don’t have that enviable Theory shape, I would really appreciate it.
Meg Murry
Once you are clear on your target (if it is sheath dresses with blazers, for instance) this sounds like a great time to make use of a Nordstrom personal shopper. A friend did this when she was going to a business formal job and it was way easier than running all over town – and from what I understand, its a free service Nordstrom offers as long as you make an appointment, yes?
LH
Huh. That’s very interesting that the men wear suits every day and the women don’t. My gut says I’d wear a suit every day if the men in the office were always wearing suits and ties. But perhaps I’m off base. I’ve never worked in a place with a business formal dress code.
Re: your question about suiting collections, The Limited does a great job of making all their suit pieces match, but they may be too short for you (they have long sizes in pants, but not in skirts/dresses). And I agree about this being an ideal situation for a Nordstrom personal shopper once you know what you want!
E
Thank you both! I wasn’t familiar with the Nordstrom service but I will look into it!
KinCA
Vicarious Shopping help, please: I’m looking for outfits to wear for our engagement photos (we’ll be taking them in September in Northern CA). I know it’s kind of early to start looking, but we have a ton of other things going on this summer and I’d like to get a head start.
I’m interested in either a dress or a cute blouse to wear with jeans (preferably both with some kind of sleeve or a jacket to go over them). I’m have more an hourglass shape, so I like anything that highlights my waist. I also have a long torso, so tunic-type tops can make my legs look really stumpy.
Also, I just purchased this dress on major sale and love it so much I’m considering wearing it for our photos: http://www1.bloomingdales.com/shop/product/4collective-dress-sleeveless-split-neck-floral-jacquard?ID=975499&CategoryID=2910#fn=spp%3D9%26ppp%3D96%26sp%3D1%26rid%3D%26spc%3D21%26cm_kws%3D4collective
Thoughts/suggestions?
First Year Anon
The dress is cute! I wonder though if the texture might look weird in photos. Maybe ask your photographer?
I would go dress over jeans. I find it’s harder to look cute in jeans, and if you’re a true hourglass, a dress nipped at the waist would look lovely.
People also do outfit changes so you could do both looks if you really can’t decide.
KinCA
Thank you! I hadn’t thought about the texture (it’s not as obvious in person), so I will definitely check with the photographer.
I think we will try to do 2 outfits, so I’m open to other outfit suggestions as well. :)
Discount rugs?
Wondering if anyone has found the holy grail for affordable/more-reasonably priced rugs? I’m looking for some contemporary options between 5 x 8 and 8 x 10 that are under $200. Is this completely unrealistic? I’m piecing my first “all mine” apartment together and would prefer to not have rugs be the splurges. Thanks in advance for your wisdom!
MommyMonster
We had really good luck at Home Depot and got a larger real wool rug for $500 for our living room. They had a wide selection on their website and a good range of prices and materials with a good return policy. I was really hung up on getting real wool, and they were among the cheapest for the size we needed but offered lower prices if you’re not as picky about the material. Also, at Costco, we purchased a really shaggy rug (I think they call it a lambswool) in a 5X8 for $200.
AIMS
Homegoods and overstock dot com. Both have great finds!
Senior Attorney
+1 for Overstock
I’ve also had good luck at Costco.
Senior Attorney
But yeah, under $200 for 8 x 10 is probably not gonna happen.
Anon
It’s not impossible, but that is quite cheap for a rug. You’ll need to look at Ikea (probably the best resource for you), Target, maybe RugsUSA or Fab online. You may find them at West Elm or places like that on clearance if you’re lucky.
Sydney Bristow
We got one at Wayfair for around that price. Your options are definitely limited but it is possible to find.
Portia
We got this $100 almost-8×10 rug six months ago and have been happy with it so far. The white specks the reviewers complain about get better after every vacuuming and completely disappeared after about 3 months. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004ZYV9GQ/ref=wms_ohs_product_img?ie=UTF8&psc=1 I also remember Ikea having affordable rugs.
Discount rugs?
Thanks all! You confirmed my fear. Hopefully mining craigslist for other furniture items will offset the cost of a decent new rug. Jeesh, life is expensive.
In House Lobbyist
I just bought an 8×10 “traditional Isfahan wool” rugs on amazon that ended up being $150 or so each with shipping. I liked it so much that I ordered another one.
ELL
We got a cute 8×10 shag rug at Lowe’s for $130. The backing started to deteriorate after about five years (not visible, but messy enough that we didn’t bother moving it across the country). But it bought us some time, so it seemed like money well spent.
MommyMonster
Longtime reader, occasional poster looking for a content editor recommendation for my (finally finished!) fantasy novel manuscript and hoping you ladies had someone in your networks. I’m planning to self-publish and have a budget of ~$500 for a ~84,000-word manuscript. I’ve already found a proofreader and copy editor. My website (with a contact form) is linked above if you don’t want to post these folks’ names in the comments. TIA
ezt
Any recs for a comfy short robe? Putting together my hospital bag as due date draws near! TIA!
Chi Squared
Target! Not sure if they still sell it, but last fall I bought a super comfy hooded short robe made of lightweight sweatshirt material for my hospital bag. It has nice deep pockets – perfect for bottles and cell phones. Not the best quality (one of the belt loops has completely detached), but only $25. I’m still using it, despite the missing belt loop b/c I like it so much.
rosie
Check out Gap Body. I have a short cotton robe from there and have purchased them for friends as well.
Parfait
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00421BMMS/
Clementine
Most photographers do at least one outfit changes, so I would probably have a dressy outfit (that dressi s adorable!) as well as a more casual outfit ready. Also, I scheduled my hair/makeup trial for the same day as my engagement photos and was really happy to get the full trial and see what it looked like on film. Plus, I was getting the trial anyway, why not use it to have perfect hair and makeup for pictures?
Here is what I wish I had known/thought of prior to getting my engagement pics:
-Drapey clothes don’t photograph well from many angles. I wore a drapey cardigan that was cinched at the waist, but any pose where I’m not straight on standing up added lots of volume to me where I’d rather not have it.
-Solid colored tailored tops are your best bet. I personally like the way jewel tones photograph, but think simple, sleek and won’t wrinkle while you’re moving around.
-Think ‘coordinated, but not matchy’ in regards to what you and your fiance will be wearing.
-We got a great shot of our dressy shoes and repeated the shot at our wedding with our wedding shoes. I really liked it.
-Please, please, please. Do not let someone talk you into doing partner and partner matchy matchy plaid shirts. I have seen this repeated over and over by people who wanted to look ‘cute’ and ‘relaxed’ and it always looks super awkward and forced, IMO.
Enjoy it! Also, If you’re like me and tend to not really pose for pictures, practice some poses. Google is your friend here.
KinCA
Thanks so much for the tips! I am not a photogenic person, so I will definitely be Googling for some pose ideas. :)
rosie
That’s a good idea, but this is also part of your photographer’s job. An important part of the e pictures for us was getting comfortable with our photogapher’s directions (we knew we liked her work from when we looked at her stuff before we picked her) to make the wedding photos that much better.
Clementine
Absolutely- however, I do think I would have done well at listening to my photographer’s directions if I had practiced some posing in front of a mirror before.
OG Owners
I’m seriously considering the Lo & Sons OG as a daily bag. I’ve been using a large, expandable Baggalini tote.
My concern: Will it fit my lunch bag. I use a Built Gourmet Getaway. It’s probably slightly smaller than a volleyball at full capacity, or maybe a medium sized mixing bowl. I’m worried because in the videos everything that goes in is kind of flat. I’d also be putting in a kindle fire, a clutch, an oblong pencil case style makeup bag, and a big sunglasses case.
Thoughts?
RR
Yes, I think it would with no problem.
Rachelellen
I think I might be the only journalist that frequents this site, and I haven’t seen any discussion of the Jill Abramson sacking here, though I have a lot of trouble keeping up, which is why I don’t post a lot. Curious what non-journos think?
Wildkitten
We’re livid that the NYT was paying her less than a man in the same job.
Senior Attorney
+1 I haven’t read the coverage in detail, but what I have read is pretty jaw-dropping. And one of her male subordinates was paid more? Uh… no.
LH
I’m not in journalism but I’m absolutely horrified by it. People say women can’t get equal pay because they can’t negotiate, but yet when they do negotiate they apparently get fired? It’s horrifying and also incredibly depressing about how far we have to go.
Rachelellen
There’s still a lot that’s unknown and Sulzberger is vehemently denying it. The Times’ public editor, which is like an ombudsman, is vowing to get answers. She’s a woman, FWIW.
This is the first time I’ve ever encountered such a situation that bothered me so much. The suggestion that her advocacy for herself made her a pushy bitch is almost more depressing than the allegations of unequal pay.