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I've said it before, I'll say it again: I love small hoops for everyday wear, especially as part of a layered look like this.
Mejuri has a number of small hoops among their bestsellers; I like the small gold beads that make up the front part of these hoop earrings.
They're available for $148 in 14k white or yellow gold “finished in rhodium plating, the alloy that gives our pieces its beautiful, subtle hue.”
Looking for something similar? Mejuri has a number of solid gold hoops that start at $38, and these $99 diamond huggies from Quince are “crafted in 14K” and available in white and yellow gold. Meanwhile, these simple 14K gold earrings from Bony Levy are getting great ratings at Nordstrom and are only $150.
Sales of note for 8.30.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Bergdorf Goodman – Final Days Designer Sale, up to 75% off; extra 20% off sale
- Boden – 20% off
- Brooks Brothers – Extra 25% off clearance
- Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
- Lo & Sons – Summer sale, up to 50% off (ends 9/2)
- Madewell – Extra 40% off sale; extra 50% off select denim; 25% off fall essentials
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Rothy's – End of season sale, up to 50% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear in the big sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
- White House Black Market – Up to 70% off sale
Anon
These exact earrings are on my Christmas wishlist!
Senior Attorney
I just added them to my list!
Anon
A reminder that if you need a sun lamp during the winter and haven’t gotten it out of the bottom of the closet or wherever it lives yet, do it. You’ll be happy you did. I finally got mine out today and OMG, I’m so full of energy! The tension’s gone from my jaw and shoulders! I’ve been productive all morning! I wish I had done this a month ago when I started feeling a bit gloomy.
(And yep, I take an antidepressant – a lot of one, actually – and even with all those extra chemicals, I need extra help in the winter!)
Anon
Yep. I woke up this morning and came downstairs to my home office feeling grumpy, groggy, tired, out of sorts, achy, etc. I turned on my HappyLight and 30 minutes later felt 100% better. If you need it, you need it. If you’re not sure if you need it – try it, and see if it helps.
Anonymous
OP or others–any recs on brand/model? I’m thinking of trying.
light
Costco
https://www.costco.com/light-therapy.html
I have the Verilux, but an older model.
Anon
OP here – I have an old Verilux HappyLight that’s been going strong for a while now, so I’m not much help. There are plenty of new models from the Verilux HappyLight brand on Amazon – I’d start there. You need 10,000 lux to get the benefits.
Anon
I’m off to order one for my son, who is in college in Michigan. To a native Southerner, the short, grey days were a shock. This will be a great little stocking stuffer. Thanks for the mention!
Anonymous
yes! i find it so hard to get it for 30 minutes first thing in the morning and at the right angle… does anyone have any tricks for that? i basically turn it on as soon as i can when my alarm goes off (mine has a remote), then hide under the covers/read NYT for the next 30 minutes. i ended up putting it on a pedestal-type thing which is above my head while i’m prone in bed.
Anon
If you have a rug underneath your dining room table, what is it made out of and is it solid or does it have a pattern?
Anonymous
The rug underneath my dining room table is patterned. It’s also a ruggable so I can throw it in the wash occasionally – highly recommend. The only downside is that the top layer is thin (obviously, so it fits in the washer) so the edges aren’t quite at crisp as a normal rug. I find this a small price to pay for the convenience of being able to wash it.
Anon
I have a patterned one (to help hide the occasional food stain). Mine is polyester I think.
Anon
We bought an outdoor rug for our dining room on the theory that it would be easier to clean. It’s gray with a white diagonal pattern.
Anonymous
We have some sort of sisal/jute thing, and I don’t recommend – you can’t really have it cleaned. At some point, we’ll invest in a patterned carpet, but the house list has a lot of other priorities right now!
anon
We have a cow hide – black and white (but not a dairy cow, more of a brindle pattern) and large enough to fit under an 8 person table. No staining but starting to wear a bit in the high traffic areas after 5 years.
Anonymous
we got Flor tiles for under our dining room table and have really liked them. this was my first time having a rug beneath a table and i worried we’d be replacing it all the dang time, so the flor tiles would be helpful because we could replace a big stain here or there but not the whole thing. but we haven’t replaced any tiles! we chose a sort of “static” type pattern for the majority of the rug and then a solid for the thick outside border.
Senior Attorney
I have a wool rug with a pretty busy pattern.
Anon
None under the dining table as it’s not practical for cleaning.
Anon
If you are on an antidepressant, and not for situational depression, is it a lifelong thing? Does your psychiatrist periodically re-assess or do you have to initiate that?
Trixie
Well, I have been on an SSRI for 28 years now. I have discussed it with my psychiatrist many times, and have tried to taper off, but no can do. I am a lifer, for sure, and call my zoloft Vitamin Z. As I had a difficult childhood, and many stressors from infancy into my twenties, I think my need for support is pretty baked into my brain. After I got married, my life was more stable (no financial worries) but much more difficult with 2 sons, a husband who was traveling a lot for work, a career I didn’t want to give up but made many compromises on, etc. So, I have accepted my dependency on it, and feel okay about that, and grateful that the medication exists. I wish it were otherwise, but this is not my hill to die on.
Anon
I have also tried to taper off unsuccessfully, the side effects were so brutal I won’t try that again.
light
Were they side effects, or a sign your body/brain needed it?
Honestly, sometimes we never know.
Anon
I think if the depression was properly diagnosed and not situational or secondary to some other medical condition, the ideal is to stay on the meds as long as they work, but for most people, meds eventually “poop out” (I don’t know why they call it this) and they end up needing to switch meds to retain efficacy. But if they’re working and side effects are tolerable, I think the idea is to stick with what’s working since people who taper off because they feel fine sometimes just experience a return of symptoms that can be hard to get back under control (though to be fair this is hard to distinguish from discontinuation, which even people without depression can get when quitting some antidepressants).
Anon
I have major depressive disorder but I don’t take meds all the time. Typically I’ll be fine for some years then start to struggle again and if non-pharmaceutical treatments aren’t enough, I’ll start on medication again. When I’m taking it, it’s typically for 6 months to 2 years. I was diagnosed at 14 and am now 43.
Anon
+1 – I’m similar to this, although I think anxiety is more my underlying issue, and eventually the chronic anxiety is just too stressful for my body and then I get depressed. My first diagnosed episode was around 19, but I’m pretty sure I was depressed when I was younger too. I’m 47 now. Both of my siblings have had diagnosed mood disorders as well (anxiety and depression combo).
The reason I don’t just stay on medication permanently is it gives me persistent sexual side effects – delayed orgasm and reduced libido – that never go away. This has been true with all of the SSRIs I have tried, as well as with an SSRI+Wellbutrin combo. I also did not react well to a tricyclic the one time I tried one.
I went back on medication in January after a bout of really terrible anxiety and insomnia that was veering towards panic attacks, and it has been so helpful (in combination with a great new therapist) that I’m in no hurry to cycle off again. Maybe in another year or so.
I did experience breakthrough depression while taking an antidepressant years ago, so I know that can happen.
Anon
My GP prescribes my meds, not a psychiatrist, and she will occasionally ask me how I’m doing when I have an appointment for something else but generally she doesn’t bring it up and just keeps prescribing. I’ve been on meds for 20 years and I don’t see myself stopping.
Anon
+1 this is me
Anon
I started taking meds a decade ago, but can easily see where I should have started them a decade before that. For me, it’s very clearly a brain chemistry thing. Just like my husband has naturally high cholesterol and needs meds for it, my brain is naturally gloomy and I need meds for it. And looking back into the family tree and seeing events in the early and mid 20th century that could be attributed to depression…this is just how I’m wired. My life is indescribably better with meds, so I don’t WANT to go off.
After running through most of the commonly prescribed antidepressants in the last 5-ish years, I only just started seeing a psychiatrist earlier this year. My PCP referred me because I was out of his depth. My psychiatrist is just for med management, and thankfully, he actually believes in medication. I’ve seen psychiatrists who believe, “Oh, just eat more vegetables and exercise more and you can taper off meds.” Great, that might work for some people (the people with situational depression?), but I’m not one of them.
My entire decade, I’ve been the one driving the train on my meds. My docs aren’t inside my mind – they don’t know when I’m struggling. Earlier on in my journey, I was afraid to say, “Hey, this isn’t working for me anymore,” because I was afraid they’d say I was making it up, that I was doing something wrong. (And I did have a psychiatrist say that once! The ladies here encouraged me to find someone new.) I’ve been very open with this current psychiatrist about how I’m doing because I’ve had some scares to get to this point and I finally feel assertive enough to say this isn’t working/I’m regressing/no, a SAD lamp isn’t enough.
twentytwo
I am wearing these now! My brother gave these to me a couple Christmases ago and they are great.
Anonymous
do the little beads get dirty?
twentytwo
Not that I’ve ever noticed, and when I have them in I will wear them for weeks at a time.
Anonymous
has anyone been to any great wellness resort/spas? have you gone with husbands or do these tend to be girls-only places (or bad couples places because you spend a lot of time in women-only areas?) i went to one with girlfriends and we spent a lot of time in nothing but robes and women-only “wet rooms” with hot tubs/showers/cold baths etc. Looking for my 15th anniversary…
Anon
Miraval Tucson! Although full disclosure that I love my husband very much but he sort of crashed my solo trip and I think I would have had more fun alone. I’m very introverted and those kinds of places are VERY suited to peaceful solitude. For trips with my husband, I love Caribbean/Mexican beach resorts. Beach resorts are more romantic (imo) and with a less structured day there’s plenty of time for a lot of couple time and a lot of alone time.
Anon
When I went to Miraval in Tucson, it was all women with friends and one poor couple. The guy looked so uncomfortable the whole time.
Anon
We did see a few other guys and my husband isn’t terribly self-conscious so that wasn’t an issue for us. But it is definitely mostly women.
AIMS
We just did this for an anniversary and I didn’t love the experience because the place was mostly segregated by gender. There are definitely places that cater to couples, but you have to make sure to check because this one didn’t do much besides allow you to book a couples massage. It was still relaxing to be at a spa, just annoying to go to separate steam rooms and coordinate where we would meet etc. I’d say post where you’re coming from and how far you want to travel for specific recommendations.
Anon
Re: coordination… My husband and I went to a luxury hammam in Istanbul, and he didn’t realize he could just hang out as long as he wanted (he thought they would tell him his time was up), so after lounging around in my towel post-treatment for a while, I inquired at the men’s side and learned he had fallen asleep lol.
Anon
Hahaha
Leatty
Scandinave Spa Mont-Tremblant. I went four years ago and dream of going back someday!
Anonymous
Make sure your husband is going to enjoy it. On one of our early anniversaries, I scheduled a couple of days at a resort a few hours from us and planned things like couples massages and different pool temp things and special meals and such. When we went to check in and he found out most people wore robes the whole time and most places were quiet zones, he seemed really uncomfortable. I don’t think he even enjoyed the massage that much. We ended up leaving early due to an alumni board meeting that he claimed he had to make even though I think he could have skipped. If I were to do it again, I’d do the trip with friends and leave Mr. Uptight Grump at home. Not everyone appreciates a wellness retreat apparently.
Anon
Most European spas will be co-ed if you are open to an international flight
Anonymous
my brother (who has a lot of stomach trouble) was just telling me about the incredibly bland diet he eats… there anything i can get for xmas that would be a pricier item or unusual digestion-friendly item i could get for him for xmas?
Nesprin
If he has stomach stuff, I’d suggest avoiding food as a gift unless you are completely 100% sure you understand his dietary limitations.
Anon
+1000 My partner has a lot of dietary restrictions for medical reasons and, while I know his parents and my parents are coming from a good place with their food gifts, they’re not well received. If you really want to do something food related, I’d recommend getting him a gift card to a restaurant he enjoys (if such a thing exists) or Whole Foods, Thrive, wherever he gets his bland foods. The best gift is to just listen if he needs to vent about his restrictions.
Anon
This might be pretty lame, but I’ve ordered rice from Carolina Plantation, and it’s really good rice. I quit ordering from them years ago because their website was just garbage, and I’d forgotten about them. But surely they’ve fixed the website by now. Fancy honey also seems like a fun gift that would be digestion friendly.
Anon
I don’t think this is something you can really do without involvement from him. You’d have to ask him if there’s something diet-friendly that’s a splurge and he’s been interested in but hasn’t purchased yet.
Lily
a Harry and Davids box of pears or other fruit?
Anon
My dad has a wide variety of stomach/health issues. This year I decided to get him a box of Harry & David fruits for an “elevated” staple in his diet.
Anon
If he eats flour then bronze cut pasta. Assuming this isn’t GERD, fancy peppermint tea or vinegar. High quality olive oil. What about kitchen gear? A chef knife, large cutting board, sheet pans, mini food processor, microplane grater…
Anonymous
did anyone see the story on “persistent depressive disorder” today in the NYT? do you think that overlaps with executive function issues, which i always think of as an ADHD thing but maybe is a depression thing also?
light
Depression absolutely causes cognitive changes, including executive function issues, and increases your chances of developing dementia.
Just another reason why it is so important to treat.
Anon
What kind of doctor would you see about it? I had a diagnosis of dysthymia in 1992 from a clinical psychologist, and I took Zoloft for about five years 1998-2003. I’m frightened by the prospect of dementia, since I’m not going to have any family or indeed financial resources to help me in my retirement years. I do have some executive function problems (my desk is an archeological wonder), but I manage for the most part.