Workwear Hall of Fame: ‘Flex’ Pump

Michael Michael Kors 'Flex' Pump | CorporetteWe’ve featured these reader-approved, comfortable, affordable Michael Michael Kors Flex Pumps on the blog before, but I just noticed that they’re newly stocked at Nordstrom, so I thought I’d feature them again. They’re available in multiple lovely colors (select sizes and styles available on Amazon and Zappos as well), and the calf leather has a nice texture to it. It’s also nice that the toe is pointed, as is the trend right now. They’re $99, available in sizes 5-11. Michael Michael Kors ‘Flex’ Pump

2017 Update: These pumps have been around so long they are now in our Workwear Hall of Fame! They are loved by readers for their comfort and style, and come in several colors.


The Michael Kors flex pump is now part of our Workwear Hall of Fame! Readers love these affordable heels for their comfort and style.


  1. I have these in both the black and a burgundy color that I don’t think is available anymore, and they are wonderful! I get tons of complements on the burgundy ones, and they are probably the most comfortable heels I’ve ever worn. I also love the toe, which is pointy enough to be flattering, but not so pointy that they are either uncomfortable or make my feet look strangely long (a balance that seems nearly impossible to find).

  2. Boden - does it ever go on sale? :

    If so, when? And any comments on the fit/quality of t-shirts? I’ve been considering a few but am having trouble biting the bullet.

    • Never bought the T Shirts but adore everything I have from there.
      They often have 20-25% off. I would sign up for emails and wait for labor day.

    • Diana Barry :

      If you look around the interwebs you can usually find a 15 or 20% coupon. Also the “clearance” stuff on their webs!te has better deals. You do have to sort through things though – even if you tell it sort by price, it doesn’t work.

      • Diana Barry :

        Also, I have several Breton t-shirts and the quality is excellent (they are all a few years old now).

        • I’m wearing one now that I just bought, and I love it. So soft and really high quality. I haven’t washed it yet, but it feels very promising.

  3. Don’t know where to say this. I really hope that kid from the St. P’s school on trial in NH gets what’s coming to him. So terrible. I can’t believe the excuses he and his friends are making and the way they’re twisting their own words.

    • Anon in NH :

      Curious what news you are following. All the news where I am seems to skew in the defendant’s favor. It seems to be pointing out all the favorable points the defense makes and pointing out any prosecutorial mistakes. I’d like to read something less biased on the case.

      Setting aside for a minute the awful subject matter, I think the defense took an interesting theory by trying to minimize the “senior salute” and hook up culture piece of it. I think that shows they expect juries to be better educated and know that a woman can change her mind. It might even be recognizing that pressure and coercion driven consent isn’t real consent. Or it could be to avoid statutory charges.
      I think just 10 years ago the defense would have been all the girls know what an invitation to the senior salute is. By accepting the invitation, she was saying yes.

      • Anonymous :

        I agree with this. It appears the defendant will testify, so that should be interesting.

      • Gawker has an article on it that I don’t think biases the info in favor of the defendant, but I think since his friends testified the information out there is a little more balanced.

        • Anon in NH :

          Your post made me take a break and search for more. I thought the discussion in this Jezebel article was good.

    • Anonymous :

      Well, twisting words is what happens in every criminal trial, not just rape cases. But I get your sentiment.

    • I honestly can’t tell anything from the news coverage. I feel like it’s only getting coverage because it’s at St. Paul’s and it allows everyone to feel superior to the rich d-bag. It’s the Rolling Stone article all over again. I’m not saying that this guy didn’t do something terrible — I really have no idea, like none whatsoever. But the gloating about how terrible he is basically just because he went to St Paul’s (and looks the part) and so therefore he must be entitled and must therefore be a rapist is really not justice at all. Meanwhile, while we’re all so worked up about campus rape, where are all the stories about rapes that happen to girls who aren’t at boarding school or at UVA or at whatever four-year residential college (because when we say “campus rape” we almost always mean four-year residential colleges). I’m not saying that rapes that happen to privileged girls and women don’t matter, they do. But people who go to these schools are a privileged minority. College women are *less* likely to get raped than 18-22 yo non-college women. Non-college women tend to be poorer, have fewer resources for physical and mental health, and tend to have less stable personal networks to help them through emotionally rough times. Why is the media completely ignoring the majority of young women in favor of the privileged minority? Is it just because we love to hate on frat bros? It just makes me think it’s not about women at all. It’s about feeling superior to people we love to hate.

      • Anonymous :

        This is SPOT ON.

      • Change towards justice has to start somewhere…why not at the top?

        • Defense Lawyer :

          The top??? Of what??? Because this defendant is rich we should…what exactly? I’m genuinely confused.

        • Fine, but if all the stories are at the top, then it sounds like this is only a problem to be solved for those “at the top”. And only those “at the top” deserve justice, which then implies there people who do not deserve it. By focusing intently on one part of the problem there is a tendency to forget about the rest of it, because it is phased out of the larger narrative – aka tunnel vision.

          Yes, campus rape is a problem – because RAPE is a problem. Let’s not lose sight of the bigger picture.

        • Because a lot of this isn’t justice. Instead of saying “hey, rape is a serious crime — why are we letting campus administrators deal with it” we’re pushing colleges to take a harder line in their internal processes, ultimately resulting in kangaroo courts. College hearings should be for things that are infractions of school rules but not criminal. Cheating on tests, for example. Or, at worst, very minor thefts and hijinx (e.g., stealing the school mascot). So we have this terrible result where boys’ lives are being ruined without adequate due process. Rape is being both taken more seriously but still not being taken seriously enough to get it out of the school internal processes (would you think that a school was equipped to handle a murder investigation? of course not. So why a rape investigation?). Meanwhile, the criminal justice system, including the police, are not in the story at all. Nor is the culture at large. It’s as if college campuses are these unique places with rape lurking around every corner, when in fact campuses are actually safer. But it’s like if we solve the campus problem, ta-dah! And solving the campus problem means knocking down those rich kids a few pegs, so eff ’em. It’s not helping anyone and it’s hurting everyone.

          • Defense Lawyer :

            + 1,000,000. Colleges should get out of rape investigations. Period. In this boarding school case in a real courtroom the defendant is getting due process (and Whitey Bulger’s defense lawyer). This is what every person charged with rape should get.

            These cases where there is no forensic evidence and injury will ALWAYS come down to the credibility of the two people involved. I’ve prosecuted and defended rape cases. Maybe this boy raped her. Maybe he lied and bragged to his friends that they had sex. Maybe she felt pressured into it but didn’t make that clear in the moment. This is why we have real trials.

          • Yes. Safe spaces and no judgment and not questioning the victim’s story have their place. Those are extremely valuable tools to help people deal with trauma and to help with activism. But they are very dangerous when used as part of a criminal justice process. Every person accused of a crime deserves a fair trial. Every single person. Every single crime. The criminal justice system has been very unfair to rape victims in the past (doctrine of utmost resistance anyone?) but injustice is not rectified through further injustice. Let’s focus on fixing THAT system and getting colleges out of the business of holding criminal trials.

          • While I agree with you, I sympathize that it can take years for a case to go to criminal trial and what is a college supposed to do when both parties are enrolled there and in the same classes. One could argue that if the college didn’t take action against the accused and he assaulted again, they were culpable. One could argue it violates the educational statutes to expect a victim to continue to attend school with her rapist. Unless the criminal justice system can speed things up, the school is going to have no choice but to act or else the victim will most likely just withdraw which is what happens more often than not.

          • Suspend anyone charged with a crime pending the outcome of the case. If charges are dropped, there’s no indictment, or the defendant is acquitted, the student is reinstated at school. If the student is convicted or pleads, the student is expelled. This would apply for any criminal charges.

          • Defense Lawyer :

            This will sound harsh, but the college should not do anything other than separate the two people as much as possible without violating anyone’s rights. If they are in the same dorm, ask either if he/she wants to move. Change class schedules. Yes, it will likely be the alleged victim that makes these changes because she (and sometimes he) will feel more vulnerable. But anything other than that, i.e. forcing the alleged perpetrator to change his whole life based on one person’s word without a trial is just as unfair. Young men are starting to sue colleges that do this, and they have good cases for gender discrimination as well.

          • Anonymous :

            Cry me a river entitled white men. Try not being so rape-y.

          • Defense Lawyer :

            To anonymous at 5:28: you disgust me. Your statement is no different than “cry me a river black and brown people. Stop being such criminals.”

          • Anonymous :

            You disgust me. If you don’t see that the plight of spoiled little rich boys is entirely different than black and brown people you should really investigate privilege.

  4. OMG, the stock market! What in blazes is going on?!

    I am not checking my accounts but, like a car crash, I can’t look away from the stock tickers.

    • Yay! Michael Kor’s Pumps! Kat, you and me both LOVE Michael Kor’s and his pump’s – especialy these CLOESED TOE one’s! YAY!!!

      As for the OP, yes, we are all affected by the market plungeing, but we are NOT to worried b/c we do NOT have to access our 401k’s any time soon. Dad said that HE lost a bundle, but that he had some kind of hedgeing goeing on that MITIGASTED the losses he has. My dad know’s people in the market so he can generaly sell and DOLLAR cost average to get rid of bad stock’s. My cousin Ivan has a job on the Russian Stock Exchange. He has some background in stock’s and dad gave him 100 share’s of International Paper company b/c they have some wood’s near Russia to cut down trees.

      I am meeting a guy after work with Myrna who want’s to meet me. I saw his picture on Facebook–he is kind of schlubby looking so I figure he will NOT want to jump on top of me on the first date. That will be good b/c I can NOT fathum the thought of that schlub huffeing and puffeing on top of me. FOOEY!

    • Slow your roll. You’re, what, 30 years from retirement? Nothing that is going on now will impact you in any meaningful way.

      • Anonymous :

        Unless you work in the oil industry. Then it might actually impact you.

        • Anonymous :

          Eh – that’s an industry with so much boom and bust anyway. Why would this stock market dip be any different than previous?

          • Anonymous :

            Sure it booms and busts, but if you work in the industry, you might lose your job? That is an actual impact on people and their families, not an “eh”.

          • Anonymous :

            That’s the industry. It’s not a surprise, it’s a known risk based on history. It sucks, but…it’s the nature of the beast. If you don’t know that when you sign up, then welcome to capitalism the hard way.

          • Anonymous :

            I’ll make sure to tell that to the thousands of people that have been laid off or are facing that risk. #welcometocapitalism

      • Yup. In fact, this is the time to up your contributions – if you want to play rational economist.

        • Dollar cost averaging is an amazing thing! If you’re under 40 or even 45,t his can actually be a great asset to your accounts

  5. In House Lobbyist :

    After reading all the recommendations on the New Rules of Lifting for Women on here, I read it and love it. I have started doing the workouts. Do any of you have tips for keeping track of your progress? I feel like I have so much stuff already – towel, water, phone, gloves – that adding even a piece of paper and pen seem like too much. Any good apps or is a notebook the best answer? Any other tips would be appreciated since I am pretty new to this type of lifting and my husband has been telling me to lift like a man for years but I always thought he was wrong.

    • Can you keep your numbers in your head and just write them down after a workout? I usually keep my phone in an armband and use the water fountain btwn sets so the only thing in my hands is a towel. My gym also has a stack of clipboards for people to use. A small pocket sized notebook would also work if you need track during the workout

    • DisenchantedinDC :

      Get a notebook to keep track. You won’t regret it. If it’s one too many things, ditch the gloves and add a notebook ;)

    • I track my workouts on the “Notes” app on my phone or in a draft email to myself (I have a draft email with a chart prepopulated with exercise/weight/reps/sets/difficulty) after completing each exercise.

    • Anonymous :

      I use Fitocracy! I really recommend it, along with the group “Lady Lifters”

      • anon a mouse :

        Second Fitocracy – it’s not perfect, but it’s as good as anything I found. You have to spend a little time building your workouts, but I was able to make them for 2A, 2B, etc. I also took pictures of all the workout lists and exercise demonstration pages in NROLFW and created an an album for them on my phone so I had a visual reference if I forgot the correct form for a given exercise, since NROLFW and Fitocracy’s exercise list aren’t a perfect match.

  6. Law School :

    Wondering what people think about this article. I know a lot of women here went to highly ranked schools but I’m sure not everyone did. I went to a Tier 2 and graduated in 2006. It took me a long time to find (mostly) happiness in my legal career, but if I had it to do all over again, I’d save myself the debt.

    • I’m also interested in thoughts from younger attorneys/new grads. My son and his girlfriend (college junior and senior, respectively) are both interested in law school. They would both be really good lawyers, especially DS (in my unbiased opinion) and he at least has worked in this office as a document drone and in a non-profit law office so he has some idea of what he’s getting into. They are not interested in Biglaw but in legal aid/nonprofit and family law/GAL/CASA type work (so it won’t pay back loans but they might get loan forgiveness). For now, I’m trying not to sway them either way but when they asked about tips for choosing schools I told them go to the highest ranked school that will give them a good package — don’t go to a Tier 1 that will have them in debt for the entire lives. Any other advice (besides “don’t do it!”)?

      • Anonymous :

        My advice would be to work first. Legal aid/non profit is a nice dream, but lots of people want those jobs. They are hard to get, have serious budget constraints, and can be a very challenging work environment.

        Don’t go to law school because there is one specific type of law you want to do. Go because you’re committed to be a lawyer and open to different paths.

        If you want to be a guardian ad litem, why aren’t you a social worker instead? If you want to do legal aid, how about working in a social justice non profit? If you can accomplish your goals without being a lawyer don’t do it

        • Agreed. A lot of the public interest jobs are filled by people who are entirely competitive for big law (and a lot of them worked there first). If there are places they know they’d like to work, they should get informational interviews with people who already work there. Those people can tell them whether lower tier schools would still make them competitive for the job. Law is the most school-snobby profession I’ve ever seen. You really need to go in with your eyes wide open on that front.

        • +1. I thought for sure, 100%, no question that I would do public interest work following law school. But when you are looking at a scarcity of jobs and over 100K in student loans, your tune changes.

          They should look at Law School Transparency for actual facts about employment and debt at various schools.

          • Cosign. Law School Transparency is where I direct every prospective law student, and then I tell them to imagine themselves on the “bad end” of those statistics. What is your life really like if you have six figures of debt and have sent out dozens, if not hundreds of job applications. Debt is real. Being a lawyer can be more noble (in other peoples’ eyes), but the debt…holy moly. Do your homework. Work first. Many younger, newly-minted lawyers with no work experience get passed over for kids who do have work experience. Having work experience maximizes the chances of not making a huge mistake and saddling yourself with tons of debt.

      • Honestly, I typically give the opposite advice in terms of school selection – pedigree is immensely important in hiring for entry-level lawyers. I generally advise not going at all if you can’t get into either a T1 school or the very best school in the jurisdiction where you want to practice.

        • Another perspective :

          I will disagree with this. I went to a well-known school regionally, but no one outside of my metro area has heard of it I’m sure. I think it was ranked between 90-110 when I started. I was admitted to T20 schools (including one in the same city), but took the 90% scholarship instead. I graduated debt free and because my school had a good local reputation, had no problem landing a state clerkship followed by a mid-size firm job.

        • I am in the same city as cbackson, and I agree IF you want to go the BigLaw route. Unless you are the top 1-2% at the local schools, you’re not going to make it through the screening. It’s a lot more forgiving if you’re coming from Tier 1.

          I don’t know how the game changes for mid-law, public interest, etc.

          I will also say that I’m now in-house, and BigLaw experience is a prereq. here, so the same advice applies (I’m sure there is variability, but I’m guessing large public corporations have similar preferences).

        • Agreed. I give this advice too. Pedigree matters a lot in law, like it or not & it’s easier for the rest of your career if you go to a top school. And I couple it with either have funds to pay for most of law school already or get a scholarship. Even from the best schools it can still be hard to get a job these days. I generally think that there’s so much more to do that I’d consider a lot of other options before picking law school now.

      • Anonymous :

        My advice would be either Tier 1 or an excellent regional school, OR if that’s not possible a school with no loans.

        And do everything they can to minimize those loans while in school, I really could have cut back even more on my student lifestyle, and it would have been work it.

    • I’m the law school class of 2013 (I was part of that peak enrollment in 2010, because, yes, I couldn’t find a job with my BA in the wake of the recession), but I think there’s a certain amount of caveat emptor here. It seems absurd to me to hold any educational institution financially responsible for a graduate finding a job.

      And unfortunately, this essay rubs me the wrong way. I feel like it’s more whining like all those ATL articles about how dismal your life turned out to be when you expected it to be like Law & Order. I think the for-profit schools should be shuttered, because what any for-profit school does is reprehensible (am I missing the existence of a decent one?), but let’s not throw the baby out with the bath water. We can’t all be BigLaw litigators, nor do we want to be, but there are legal jobs available and there’s still value to a legal education.

      Everyone I can think of from my middle-of-the-road state law school class has legal employment…except the kid who’s failed the bar 4 times and who spent most of school on academic probation and the other kid who’s failed the bar 3 times and suffers from severe depression.

      • And to add: I think there’s a disconnect between expectation and reality. I think law school is what a lot of bright kids from good backgrounds do these days. It’s not enough to just have a bachelor’s, you have to have some sort of graduate degree, and law school seems like a fair choice. So all these people who would have chosen some other path in life a generation ago are now toiling as associates and they’re miserable and bitter about the debt they took on for this crap job. You get bitter enough, you want to blame someone, and schools take the brunt of it.

        • It was the same a generation ago… people went to law school when they were smart and couldn’t figure out what they wanted to do. Same result.

          • Yep, lots of that when I was in law school (a generation ago, I guess — graduated in ’88). To be fair, both of these kids have had this in mind for a long time, they are on their college’s mock trial team and truly want to be lawyers. So this is not a nothing-better-to-do-after-a-BA choice. Which still doesn’t mean it’s a good choice for all of the other reasons . . .

      • I graduated in 2014 from a Tier 2, regionally well regarded school. Everyone I can think of from my class that passed the bar has a job. A full time law job. Maybe not the job they dreamed of, but a job. So maybe they are whiny and bitter, but they shouldn’t be. Many people who didn’t pass the bar also have decent jobs in other areas. People in the bottom of the class and those who failed/didn’t take the bar are struggling. Not surprising.

  7. Billable Hours :

    I work in public accounting and the regional firm where I work went through a merger about a year ago. There have been a lot of culture changes, including one that I think is very odd and off-putting and was wondering if I could get some opinions to see if I’m off base.

    We have an overall annual billable goal. This goal is broken down into monthly targets. That’s all fine and good. But now everyone is being asked to provide weekly hour goals, and managers are sending out emails to staff and seniors if they don’t meet weekly goals. This seems like insane micromanagement to me. Before the merger what mattered was getting your overall annual goal. Being micromanaged like this is very demotivational. What do yall think? I feel like I should say something about it to my boss, but I’m not sure what, if anything.

    • It is ONLEY micromanagement if you are not a team player who does NOT get a peice of the action. My manageing partner is all over me to bill, bill bill, but at the end of the day, I get a bonus for excess billing’s. So it is in my own financeal interest to bill, bill, bill, and even tho I do NOT like the manageing partner breatheing down my neck to get extra hours, I know that for every extra hour that I bill, I get a $ return of approximately $.22 into my bank account! So If I bill 1000 extra hours, I get an IMMEDIATE rebate of $220 into my bank account!!!! Have your manageing partner do this and you to will be abel to afford all of the schmatas they sell on this sight!

    • I agree but I have worked in both cultures. I worked at a firm that sent out a WEEKLY report of all attorneys, what they billed for that week, what they had billed for the year, what percent of their annual goal that was, etc. People just started to ignore it.

    • What this sounds like to me:

      * micromanagement
      * ammunition to fire people…soon.

      I would be polishing up my resume and getting out before the bloodbath. I am sorry this is happening to you. In accounting, there are very clearly up and down times, and a bean-counter manager (pardon the irony) that divides an annual target into equal increments in a cyclical industry is beyond stupid. Again, sorry.

  8. Anonymous :

    I was at the bookstore, and I saw they have coloring books for adults! I think it could be a relaxing hobby

    Does anyone on here color? Any especially good books? Colored pencils or felt markers?

    • I have a dot-to-dot book I got for Christmas. Like, intricate pictures with 1000+ dots. Totally awesome.

      • Coloring Books :

        That does sounds awesome! I will keep an eye out for one of those!

    • Anonymous :

      This sounds amazing.

    • I have one from a local gift store. I have been using felt markers but the coloring book is double sided and I think it is ruining the picture on the other side of the page. The next page I do I am going to try colored pencils. It is too intricate for crayon I believe.

    • First Year Anon :

      Paint by numbers! They are some pretty advanced ones out there. The dot by dot thing also sounds fun I should try it!

    • christineispink :

      i have a few coloring books for adults. I think my boyfriend bought me the top 2 best sellers on amazon along with the top-selling colored pencils on there. i also use my Staedtler(?) felt tip pens (a remnant from law school color-coded underlining). I recently picked up a much simpler coloring book with abstract patterns (from Flying Tiger) b/c the adult ones with mandalas and such were just too hard/intricate for me. VERY relaxing. love coloring just before bed. puts me in a different zen mindspace than just journaling.

    • When my mom was in the hospital having chemo her friends sent her some coloring books and nice colored pencils and she found it really relaxing while also doing something that made her feel productive.

    • Anonymous :

      How timely. I just got a coloring book for adults from Michaels this weekend. My husband had the colored pencils from some college design classes. I put on some music and really enjoyed about 45 mins of coloring this weekend!! I also used to do Paint by Number in college. They never came out that great but they were fun, and it’s nice to see some tangible accomplishment.

    • I keep hearing about an adult coloring book called Secret Garden from friends in China. It’s available on Amazon and apparently have been all the rage in China for the last few months.

    • I make coloring books! You can purchase from my etsy shop (link in user name), which will give you the file to download and print onto copy paper, cardstock, or whatever.

      I will send a free sample to anyone who wants one… pick one out from the etsy shop and email me at coloringforadults AT gmail.

  9. I need some advice. My husband has recently gained a lot of weight — like probably 30-50 pounds. He was quite overweight to begin with, and is now bursting out of his clothes. He is in recovery for alcohol addiction, and apparently his way of coping with not being able to drink is to eat. He is a wonderful, smart, thoughtful man. I know that sounds terrible, but I just find him physically unattractive now. I have not talked to him about it because I don’t want to jeopardize his recovery (he’s about 7 months sober at this point), so I have just remained silent. But I’m concerned that this is going to continue unabated, and I don’t know if I’m okay with that. Has anyone had this experience and been able to just successfully get over it and love their otherwise lovable spouse despite their serious obesity? Or are there ways I might talk to him about it that don’t hurt his feelings, jeopardize his recovery, etc.?

    • The weight gain happens to every person I know that quit drinking because of addiction. It’s just good consolation, I guess, to let oneself eat whatever one wants since one’s escape of choice is no longer available. One person in particular that I knew went on a weight loss kick about a year after kicking the bottle and is now fit, fabulous and happier than ever.

      Don’t say anything. It’s bad enough when someone mentions that just because one likes cookies too much.

    • I wouldn’t mention it to him at this point. Can you make changes at home to lessen the weight gain? i.e. start purchasing and cooking healthy well-balanced meals if that isn’t already happening?

    • Anonymous :

      I would talk to the counselor you’re seeing for support for yourself as the spouse of an addict about this. Srsly. There are all kinds of arguments in favor and against saying something but walking on eggshells for fear of an addiction relapse doesn’t seem like a good one.

    • Please don’t talk to him. As someone who put on a good deal of weight after marriage, trust me, HE KNOWS his weight is up he’s super self-conscious about it, and is trying his best to get through the day and stay sober.

      Focus on the qualities that make syou love him. He’s strong enough and tough enough to do this very difficult thing. Give him some time and some support

      • Thanks for all your comments. He does all the cooking, and he cooks very healthy (for me), but then buys takeout and fast food for himself. I will resist the urge to point it out to him and just try to encourage healthy habits (and get counseling). I appreciate the insights.

        • How does he explain this? He literally cooks broiled salmon for you, and then orders Pizza for himself?

          Are you going to a support group? That would be the best place for you.

          Hang in there.

    • Former Biglaw :

      First, I’m sorry for you and your husband and the toll his disease is taking on your marriage.

      I’ve struggled with emotional overeating my whole life and have family members who are alcoholics. Really, they’re not such different problems. If you never learned other coping mechanisms, either operating or drinking can be your way to “zone out” or deal with the ordinary stresses and emotions of the day.

      If your husband isn’t learning the coping mechanisms to get through life without abusing booze or food, it seems he’s not really on the road to recovery. He’s just on a detour.

      I don’t know if it’s best to talk to him about it or not. If you do choose to talk to him, I wouldn’t go at it from a place of “I don’t find you attractive.” I’d raise it in the context of expressing concern that the underlying issues that caused him to drink too much seem to be unresolved and suggest therapy. You don’t even have to mention weight at all–just keep the focus on whether he seems to be getting well.

    • chubby hubby :

      My husband is a large man and also quit drinking last year (thankfully). He’s also an excellent lover and I’ve never had a problem being turned on by him no matter his size. So, I would wonder, is your husband’s size the ONLY thing that is bothering you? Or maybe you are having a hard time emotionally relaxing around him because you still have hurt feelings or fear from the time when he was drinking?

  10. CorporateCommunicator :

    Hi there – need some advice. Not in big law, but work in corporate communications for a fairly conservative large company. Just had second kid, and I have been back at work a couple weeks. Boss is great but hours are a pretty standard 7:15-4:15. (I know, shouldn’t complain too much.) But, I’d love to go part time and maybe work three days/week. I don’t know of anyone who does that in the corporate office. How do you think I could explore working part-time as an option but not as a “give me part-time or I’m going to quit” ultimatum? My boss would have to run it up the flagpole to his boss.

    Oh, and my performance review is in the next few days. Should I do it then? I think it’s pretty apparent I’ve been struggling after coming back from maternity leave. Nobody else on my team really does what I do (although they probably could) and we just got rid of a PR firm that supported my efforts…

    • You could definitely raise it as an option in your performance review without giving an ultimatum. If you think it’s apparent you’ve been struggling, it could work to your advantage that you are trying to solve that problem. “I’m really glad to be back after parental leave, and I’ve realized I would be more productive at work if I were part time right now.” Then present a plan that would work for you. Did the former PR firm have any research or suggested part-time arrangements that you could suggest? I would present your ideal schedule along with the math on how that would affect your pay (if you are asking to come three days a week instead of five, does that mean you’re asking for 60% pay, etc). Also be prepared to address how that affects your insurance, etc., although those details might be better resolved in a later discussion.

      It may be helpful that no one on your team does exactly what you do, because there won’t be a direct comparison to “CorporateCommunicator wants to scale down, but how do we justify that with CoworkerFullTime doing the same work?” You could also consider presenting this as a temporary solution (until the baby is a year old, or until the baby starts preschool, etc). Good luck!