ByElizabeth Hours Updated
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Splurge Monday’s Workwear Report: New Julian Two Classic Wrap Dress

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

The DVF wrap dress is a classic for a reason, and I’m always thrilled to see it available in an extended size range. This houndstooth print gives a fun ’70s vibe without looking overly costume-y. I would probably wear this with a black cami underneath for a little more coverage, but you could certainly do without for a night out.

The dress is $568 and available in sizes 14–24. New Julian Two Classic Wrap Dress

A more affordable option for a wrap dress in black and white is from Robbie Bee: regular and plus. 

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Sales of note for 12.5

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205 Comments

  1. Hi, I’m looking for recommendations for a real estate agent to help purchase a single family home in the Memorial area of Houston, TX. Thanks in advance!

    1. I recommend using Redfin for home purchases, if you’re comfortable browsing the market yourself online. Saves thousands and provides just as good of service as a traditional realtor.

      1. +1. I’m currently buying a house with RedFin (and using their mortgage origination service too) and it is way, way better than any service I’ve received when working with a traditional RE agent before. I highly, highly recommend. I also really appreciated getting honest feedback about the houses we were seeing, as their agents aren’t paid based on commission. I 100% would never go back to a traditional agent and can’t recommend RedFin enthusiastically enough.

      2. How does that work exactly? Redfin still provides service or you do all the work yourself?

        1. I’m anon at 9:54. This is the 2nd house I’ve bought and by far a more complicated transaction, partially due to weirdness on the seller’s side. Comparing the two experiences, they’re exactly the same in terms of who’s doing what except the person who will actually let you into the house is a contract agent and not the same person every time. That said, there is a RedFin agent that we talked to throughout this whole search and making an offer and really the whole process that helped us think through things like how much to offer etc. Really top notch service, and I did not experience any less support throughout this transaction than my previous experience buying a house. I don’t even think I needed the experience of having bought a house before to navigate this, as it’s no more work on me. Actually I’d say less bc the RedFin mortgage people are super professional. They don’t lose docs or get details on the loan disclosures wrong that require my attention and being on top of them every time to get things fixed as happened last time.

        2. In our experience, they did everything a traditional realtor does — set up closing, provided the HUD, communicated with the seller’s agent, assisted w/ inspections, etc.

      3. I see this recommended here a lot and agree it would probably work for a lot of purchases but I would only do this if you are ok losing out on a house if the transaction gets complicated. After looking for two years we nearly didn’t get our house because of complicating factors (relocation company on other side etc.) and I’m sure it would not have come together without her expertise and ability to pull strings to make things happen.

    2. Sharon Tzib (broker and real estate agent signed with Remax but she works independently). Super knowledgeable, as hands on as you want, and very honest. As buyer, it does not benefit you to roll the dice on whatever realtor Redfin sends your way (and they are often young and inexperienced) since seller pays closing costs. Memorial homes cost too much money to chance on a newbie.

    3. When we bought over the summer (not in Memorial, but fairly close), our sellers used Suzanne Richardson, and we were really impressed by her.

    4. I used Elizabeth Blanton at Greenwood King and she was great!

      Definitely wouldn’t do redfin.

  2. I love DVF wrap dresses on others and would wear them 100% of the time if they worked for me. They always seem appropriate. They are a hot mess of self-unwrapping on me.

    I am petite so the waist on wraps tends to be for someone with a much longer torso and as a result there is always too much fabric where they are expecting a bosom (which I also lack). Any recommendations for wraps scaled for a short person who is also flat-chested? Bonus points if it is in a less slippery fabric — I love the silk jersey but I prefer that my wraps stay wrapped :)

    1. They make a lot of the same prints in non-wrap dresses. FWIW, I simply cannot make wrap dresses work on me – I don’t have hips and I’m small chested. Wrap dresses either have too much fabric up top or get weirdly baggy around the waist. I also hate having to fiddle with the chest/skirt to make sure everything stays put. I much prefer a sheath or a-line style!

    2. Yeah, traditional wrap dresses do not work for our shape. I’m also small chested, short waisted, pear. Not flattering, not enough structure, not cut appropriately.

      Faux wraps sometimes work, often with more substantial fabric or a bit of structure. There was a thread here recently where several brands were recommended, so I’ll let them re-post.

    3. I’m petite and busty and wrap dresses have never worked for me. In this picture, it looks like it’s tied right under her bust. Instead of a wrap dress like this I prefer fit and flare styles that are fitted right under the bust and then skim the body. I’m also a bit curvy, short waisted and carry most of my weight in my belly. I much prefer fit and flare over wrap dresses.

      1. I’m also busty, and can’t wear wrap dresses for work. There is no way for it not to be way too low cut on me, in a way that I’m just not comfortable with in the office. It’s hard to tell from the angle that the above photo was taken, but I doubt I would be comfortable with that dress in the office because from eye level or above, it would show a ton of cleavage. For dates? sure

    4. I have similar issues (small chest, pear) and I have a faux-wrap dress from J. McLaughlin that I adore and will probably wear it out soon after several years in heavy rotation. Bonus is the fabric travels and washes well.

    5. I think DVF wrap dresses work on a very specific body type – 5’4 to 5’9, on the thinner side, straight/pear shape, with B cup or less. I’ve talked about this with friends and colleagues (it’s a staple of law firm partners that can pull it off) and it doesn’t work for anyone’s body but the type described above.

      1. I fit your description (straight, not pear), and DVF wraps look terrible on me. There is too much fabric in the bust for a B-cup. So perhaps they flatter no one?

    6. I am long-waisted with zero curves, and the only time I’ve ever been able to wear a wrap dress was while pregnant.

    7. I don’t even think this is flattering on the model. It makes her look super bloated – why would they tie it right under her b00bs?

      1. I love wrap dresses and finally splurged on a DVF one, but it had to go back. I was so sad, but it just didn’t cover enough of my chest. What wraps have those of you with curves found that work? I have had a couple from BCBG that I liked a lot and one from Joie, but a camisole is always required.

        2. I love the Ruby style wrap dress from Karina Dresses. It’s a faux wrap with more coverage up top. Some of the prints are a little twee for my taste, but I have several in neutral colors that are wardrobe workhorses.

    8. Also, I do not like the budget pick at all. I think the polka dots look either juvenile or old lady.

    9. I think there’s a distinction between wrap dresses made in stretchy fabrics and non stretchy fabrics. My favourite dress for smart events is a wrap dress made of a (viscose?) crepe with a slight flare to its skirt. I always wear a cami with it and pin the crossover in place, but then it looks good all day. I’m 5’9”, pear shaped, size 12-14 US (and I have worn this dress through all sorts of size fluctuations and it’s always looked good).

      1. I agree with you that the fabric makes a world of difference. I have an old (2005ish) DvF wrap dress in a substantial, structured and non-slippery fabric. It’s absolutely one of the most flattering dresses I own, still, even with body shape changes over the years. I also bought another more typical DvF wrap dress and was sorely disappointed how bad it looked on me. I’m a short, average busted pear.

  3. Question for the New Yorkers, on a typical year would you expect to still be wearing tights at the end of March? What kind of coat? A trench? I have a trip coming up and I’m trying to wrap my head around what to pack for the weather. Or maybe there’s no such thing as a typical year? Any tips for late March dressing would be really appreciated.

    1. March weather tends to be unpredictable. It could be 60 and sunny or it could be a surprise snowstorm. You’ll need to look at the forecast closer to your trip. But on average, layers are good, like a shirt + light sweater + trench or light quilted jacket + scarf + gloves, so you can shed accordingly. Tights would not be out of place especially if it’s a chilly end to the month (I know I’ve worn them into April one cold spring), but by then I’m bored of wearing them personally, and would be more likely to wear pants than a skirt for that reason.

    2. Tights would not be unusual for chilly days in March, especially in the wind tunnels of midtown. I’d go with a trench or other mid-weight jacket with both gloves and a wrap type of scarf – you just don’t know if you’ll catch a chilly day or not. Gloves are small and a wrap can also be used on the plane or in chilly offices. I’d think you’ll still want to be in closed shoes for walking around (brogues/boots/loafers/sneakers/duck boots/whatever) as opposed to pumps or cute flats. If you have sandals that are small/easily packable I might throw those in for a random nice day (or if you want to get a pedicure!).

    3. I will echo the others that you will likely need to check the forecast closer to your trip. Early spring weather is extremely variable!

      That being said, I often wear tights throughout March, but I might be more of a weather wimp than others… Coat is also weather dependent – in general, I would say I wear wool coats most often in March, followed by a Barbour jacket or a rain coat. Puffer mixed in if there is a cold snap, and leather or jean jacket if it is unseasonably warm.

    4. “I have a trip coming up and I’m trying to wrap my head around what to pack for the weather”

      Look at the weather forecast before you leave.

        1. Fair enough. I was looking for generalities and for example if people said they’re usually in a trench coat by end of March, I would be sure to take my trench coat in for needed repairs before I leave. But yes, I’m not stupid and will also check the weather before I leave.

      2. Lol yes. It sounds silly but March in NYC tends to be all over the map. I can recall celebrating St. Patrick’s Day in jeans and a t shirt or needing boots and winter coat. I love being able to plan in advance but this is one that you can’t.

      3. I’ll push back on this response – I think everyone knows how to look at the weather app, but I’m reading this with interest as I have a NYC trip in March too and what the weather app doesn’t tell me is the practical “what are people actually wearing to deal with that region’s specific weather”. 60 whee I am feels different from 60 elsewhere, trends in clothes and practical options are always regional. Thanks to people for chiming in – a “everyone is in short puffers now” is way more helpful than the weather is 48. Also? I don’t wear gloves where I live and only think of them as something for extreme cold, so that’s also a helpful tip.

    5. Tights aren’t really a season-specific item in the Northeast, and we don’t have a rule that you should only wear rights between one holiday in the fall and another in the spring (like we traditionally have for the color white, and even then, that’s not a strict rule anymore). We wear tights to keep our legs warm when it’s too cold for bare legs! I probably wouldn’t wear wool sweater tights in March, but lightweight tights are still fine. I often err on the side of caution and only go bare-legged if I think it’ll be comfortable to do so both in the morning and evening. If it’ll be a little too chilly for bare legs, I’m wearing tights. I can always duck into a bathroom to take them off if I need to!

  4. My goal for 2020 is to eliminate non-recyclable (so all plastics except type 1 and 2) single use packaging from our home. I started with the kitchen which was fairly easy, but I’m struggling with the bathroom particularly makeup. Any recommendations for brands I can check out? I’m interested in exploring all recyclable, refillable and returnable packaging options.

    1. Not sure – but I think the body shop takes back their containers for recycling.

    3. MAC has a Back to MAC program – they take back their packaging, and if you return six tubes/compacts/etc., they give you a lipstick (or maybe eyeshadow if you return to a MAC store as opposed to a MAC counter. I used to buy a lot of MAC.)

    4. I adore Drunk Elephant face wash, and Cup of Jo just did a post on bar shampoo that was intriguing. I tried the Lush bar shampoo and conditioner and was super not impressed. Makeup is tough.

      2. As a counterpoint, I love the Lush shampoo bar and have used it for a couple years. I don’t use their conditioner bar

    6. If you have any tips or articles on accomplishing this in the kitchen (especially food packaging) I would hugely appreciate it. I think this is my next frontier!

      1. My main resource was my sister who is a green warrior. These are the changes we made:

        – Cleaning products: I replaced paper towel with a pack of 24 wash cloths which we use for cleaning surfaces, spills and kids. I go to a refill market in my area and refill my own containers with dish soap, hand soap, all-purpose cleaner and dishwasher tabs.
        – Dry goods: I go to a bulk food store and fill my own glass containers with cereal, pasta, crackers, cookies, peanut butter, coffee, etc. I was already doing this with baking supplies but doubled down this year and have been surprised how much I was able to replace. I stopped buying some of our old favourites that I can only find in multilayer packaging (e.g. goldfish crackers) and we’ve found alternatives (e.g. pretzel sticks) that aren’t exactly one-to-one replacements but good enough. I thought I would hate the extra errand in addition to the grocery store but I love it and am obsessed with finding exciting new things to bring home.
        – Produce: We only buy loose produce and use our own reusable bags. It’s limited our options in our big box grocery store (so much produce comes in a plastic clamshell or on a plastic-wrapped piece of Styrofoam!) which we could probably rememdy by going to a green grocer but I don’t want to add the extra stop.
        – Meat: I buy it from a butcher who wraps it in butcher’s paper (which is compostable in our area). I buy deli meat from the grocery store and they wrap it in bees wax wrap I bring with me.
        – Dairy: I buy milk in glass bottles that I return for deposit (at a specialty store on my way home from work). I’ve switched from yoghurt cups (which are type 5 plastic) to yoghurt tubs (which are type 2 plastic). Butter and cheese are still a problem because at the grocery store they are in nonrecylable plastic or multilayer packaging. I don’t have a cheese shop near me so I’m still working on finding a solution. I’ve switched to buying ice cream in a recyclable plastic tub instead of nonrecyclable/compostable paper board, but I’m not sold that I’m doing the right thing there.
        – Other groceries: I still buy groceries packages in recyclable plastic, glass or tin. If our old favourite has plastic packaging that isn’t type 1 or 2, I look around for an alternative and if I can’t find one I leave the product behind to see how we manage without it.
        – Food storage: Leftover are stored in glass containers, or wrapped in bees wax wrap. We still use tin foil and compostable parchment paper on occasion but no plastic wrap, wax wrap or Ziploc bags.

        It’s been a really fun challenge, actually, so I definitely encourage you to try it. I started in December with replacing a few items and it snowballed from there into my 2020 resolution :P

      2. I got a roll of these bamboo “paper towels” on clearance at Home Depot, and they’re great for cleaning. You can wash them up to 100 times (they get softer and eventually start to disintegrate) and reuse them, but if you’re picking up something super gross you can just throw them away without worrying about needing to do a special load of laundry so you don’t contaminate your other towels.

    7. Origins accepts makeup recycling from all companies if there’s anything you can’t find a substitute for.

  5. Can anyone speak to the experience of working for DOJ or OGC of a federal agency? How realistic is to keep with litigation if that’s my skillset? What kinds of things do you do on a day-to-day basis? Are the hours really better than private practice? What does your upward trajectory look like? TIA!

    1. Depending on the division of DOJ, you may have active and on-going litigation in federal court. Generally, the type of work is reflected in the job title – Trial Attorney = may litigate and Attorney-Advisor = no litigation, work on policy and compliance, etc.

      The role of OGC may vary across the federal agencies. In my experience, Trial Attorneys in OGC may litigate before an Administrative Law Judge in employment and labor law or civil rights but, federal litigation is handled by DOJ. There are also, Attorney-Advisor positions where attorneys write policies, regulations, and make sure that the federal agency is in compliance with federal law. OGC functions more like an-in house counsel.

      Hours are better than private practice! Most federal agencies have telework and respect work/life load. I have found that agencies with unions are better with the work/life load because many of the issues have been negotiated — like over- time etc. DOJ is NOT unionized and so, if you are litigating, you will have some serious hours that are uncompensated.

    2. It varies so much by agency. If you want to keep litigating, look at DOJ or one of the agencies with independent litigating authority (FTC, FCC, SEC, CFPB, etc.)

    3. Chiming in very late, but I work in the general counsel’s office of a federal agency that has independent litigating authority. DOJ is co-counsel on our cases but I draft the briefs and present oral argument in federal court. Most of my days are spent doing legal research and writing briefs (I do strictly appellate work) and the hours are mostly 9 – 5 (but I work a lot in the weeks before an oral argument or a big brief). If you want to do litigation, you can certainly do it an an agency, and you’ll be given much more responsibility than you ever had in private practice. Our litigation group is mostly Big Law alums, all of whom went to top law schools.

      It’s an amazing job and really hard to get, but if you can get it then I would jump at the chance. I have learned so much and after many years in private practice, I finally feel like a “real” attorney.

  6. I have an appointment with a dermatologist in a few months (new patient so they were booked up) and I was wondering if anyone can point me in the right direction on skincare products for my situation. I have light rosacea (not super severe, but enough for a dermatologist to identify it right away), but otherwise no major skin issues. I am VERY low-maintenance and do not wear make-up. My current regime is Trader Joe’s tea tree oil face wash at night, Eucerin redness relief creme at night, and La Roche Posay moisturizer/sunscreen in the morning. However, I think my face tends to look dull and then a little oily by the end of the day. Is there another product I can add or subtract that will help? I really don’t want to spend a ton, but I’m hoping my fellow rosacea ladies can help me identify a low-maintenance option to see a little improvement. I’m 31 and starting to see some wrinkles/crow’s feet, but anti-aging isn’t a big priority for me (sun protection is though). I know myself and I will not be able to stick with a complicated new multi-product regimen.

    1. I wear makeup just to spackle and deal with major oiliness. A dusting of bare minerals loose powder may be all you really need. I have rosy skin and it seems to visually calm this down a bit, too.

    2. Subtract the tea tree oil. It’s super irritating. I like cetaphil gentle skin cleanser. For the end of day issue, I’d add a tinted moisturizer or even try Eucerin anti-redness day creme which is green tinted.

      1. I tried the tea tree oil face wash because I had heard it was good for rosacea, but that’s two comments saying it’s irritating – something to take to heart!

    3. Honestly, nothing I ever tried topically helped the rosacea. I just got put on a sub-antimicrobial dose of doxycycline for it by my derm and it is working miracles, no joke. Mine is on my chest primarily (cheeks are affected but are not itchy or bumpy in the same way) and it had seriously flared up in the last few months. The doxycycline is really working to calm it down. It’s not cheap but worth it for me.

      One thing I will say is that the tea tree oil face wash may be too harsh for you; it would be for me. I am on super-gentle/sensitive skin everything at this point. No exfoliants of any kind, chemical or physical, and the late-day oiliness may be a sign that the cleanser is too strong and stripping down your oil barrier, so that your skin is working overtime to replace it. I will also say that wearing a simple BB cream with sunscreen makes a lot of difference in how I feel about my skin. When I don’t wear the BB cream all I can focus on is how red my skin is. When I wear it I feel like people see my face and not the rosacea. It isn’t very high-maintenance to wear a BB or CC cream; it takes about as much effort as it does to put on sunscreen every day.

    4. I’ve got a touch of rosacea. My morning and evening routine is pretty much the same — (1) Thrive Causemetics Bright Balance Cleanser, (2) Witch Hazel as a toner, (3) Thrive Causemetics Defying Gravity moisturizer, (4) Malin & Goetz Recovery Oil, (5) some kind of Korean sunscreen I bought off Amazon (can’t recall the brand offhand)(AM only, obviously). For makeup removal I use Simple Micellar Cleansing Wipes. My skin looks quite a bit calmer since I’ve gone with this mix of products, but it took me a while to find the right combination. Good luck finding what works for you!

    5. Have had rosacea for years, mixed success with doxycycline FWIW. Know your triggers and avoid them as much as possible – sometimes easier said than done. (Stress and cold weather are mine.) I second Cetaphil cleanser and no exfoliants of any kind. Avene (French brand available online) has helped me keep my flare-ups under control. Their Antirougeurs FORT Soothing Concentrate is spendy but a tube lasts me 6-8 months. The Antirougeurs DAY Redness Relief Soothing Cream SPF 25 has some green in it and tones down the red. I don’t use their Antirougeurs cleanser as Cetaphil does the job for me at a much lower price point. Clinique’s Redness Solutions foundation helps hide redness, but mix it with a tiny bit of the day cream or it looks like spackle. It’s a trial-and-error process, but you will hit upon something that does the job for you!

    6. I have mild rosacea and here’s my routine

      Morning, wash only if needed, usually La Roche Posay Toleraine hydrating cleanser. Skincare is M-61 vitamin C moisturizer, followed by dr Jart premium BB cream, which contains enough mineral-only sunscreen for a typical office day for me. It also has enough coverage to even out my redness without looking cakey.

      At night, I cleanse with an oil cleanser (Hada Labo) followed by a second cleanse of either the LRP or my curology cleanser. Then I apply my curology mix, which is Azaleic acid (finacea, great for rosacea because it reduces inflammation), tretinoin (great for clearing pores and anti -aging), and niacinamide. You can get Finacea and Tret from your dermatologist but I like the convenience of Curology.

      I follow my night time routine with a heavier moisturizer if I’m dry – i actually like curology’s extra rich moisturizer for this, but there are plenty of products out there – look for unscented sensitive skin formulations.

      I use a bit of eye cream under my eyes if I look dry there, primarily in the mornings.

      And that’s it. My rosacea looks the best it has in ages. I think the key is not to use too many “actives” and definitely, definitely only use titanium dioxide and/or zinc oxide as your sunscreen ingredients.

    7. My only relief came from The Ordinary’s azalaic acid, twice daily. Game changer.

  7. Ugh I am on a work-clothes diet but it is so hard for me not to pull the trigger on this. I’d like to thank DVF for offering my size and length!!

    1. DVF’s wraps always look better on full figured gals, but not for busty girls like me who are otherwise svelte, but with a big tuchus. I wonder if DVF herself likes the wraps b/c she seems to design most of them I see. I wish DVF would make the patterns on sheathe dresses, as I tend to perfer her designs on sheathe dresses, but the patterns I see are generally dull.

      On another note, did anyone watch the Kobe Bryant tribute at the Losangeles arena today? I am very sad about this and find it so terrible that there was this helicopter crash and they did not survive.

  8. I am looking for a new work tote that has a generous handle drop (9″ or so) and a zipper, preferably (real or vegan) leather. Anyone have any that they love? Thinking of going with Cuyana but eager for other recommendations. Bonus if it latches on to a roller bag, but I am not a fan of the OMG or OG by Lo & Sons. (Alternatively, has anyone found a strap that attaches a regular tote to a roller bag that works well?) Thanks!

    1. I love my Seville by L&S. I have the older one (would get the aire now) and seem to use the travel sleeve on it a lot even if not travelling, I haven’t bothered to switch back.

    2. I was just browsing at Target and they had some really nice looking work totes, nicer than some of my designer ones. If I needed a new one currently, I’d start there. They were in the same section as the professional attire, not the general purse section.

    3. I have the Knomo Maddox, and it has been fantastic. Handle drop is 10.6″, top zips, real leather.

    4. I love my Cuyana zip tote. I have two of their totes – an open tote in a light color for warm weather and a darker colored tote with a zipper for the colder/rainier months. This is the second season for my zip top and I swear to you it looks new.

    5. I love my Cuyana tote so much. I would only love it more if you could slide it over the handle of a rolling suitcase. But t is amazing and I will echo what everybody says about quality and durability. It’s been my everyday bag for two years now and still looks great.

    6. The Ariane tote by Italic is also nice. Supposedly the same manufacturer as Celine and Prada.

    7. I like Brahmin totes with zippers. They have smooth leather now. They are really well made, and have more internal structure, so you don’t end up with a droopy pile of tote.

  9. Somehow, at 40, I am still struggling with how to dress my shape. I am basically built very straight from the bust to my hips, short-waisted, and carry a little bit of extra weight in my lower tummy (particularly postbabies). The problem I have with jeans is that I’m always hoisting them back up, possibly bc my butt doesn’t really hold them anywhere. And with leggings and the like, I am super comfortable but every bulge shows up top.

    I’m trying to lose a few pounds, but it’s really more of a “dress my body” thing than a weight thing. Anyone have a similar shape or know any fashion bloggers who do? Thanks so much!

    1. Are you buying the right size jeans? Maybe you need to size down? I like high waisted skinny jeans because they help conceal the weight I carry in my stomach.

      1. Trust me, I would size down if I could! (I sized up postpartum.) The extra weight in my tummy makes that impossible, unfortunately. High waisted is tough for me because I’m so short-waisted– they basically come up to my bra! :)

        1. You want pants with a waistband that cuts right across the middle of your muffin top area. For me that is high waisted, but maybe mid-rise for you. I really like Athleta’s sculptek jeans.

        2. I am in the same boat and just here to commiserate with the post partum size up. Unable to go down a size and my pants fall off all the time. I blame the soft tissue my pants are relying on to stay up.

      2. +1 to high-waist options. I’m broad-shouldered and straight from bust down (but with a bit of butt – just no hips!). High-waisted jeans are more comfortable and they stay up better.

    2. Maybe try a curvy cut (gap, Loft, AT)? If your waist is too big, it can be why your pants need a tug up. I had some great Levis curvy jeans that I think you can still find on Amazon but perhaps not on the actual Levis site.

      1. I don’t think this makes sense. Curvy cuts are for a waist that is much smaller than the hips. That is opposite OP’s issue.

    3. Buy jeans in the length and style you like one or two sizes bigger and get them tailored to fit. Fashion bloggers, celebrities, etc. don’t look amazing in clothes because they have perfect bodies, but because they tailor everything to hide the areas they don’t like and emphasize the areas they do like.

    4. +2 to trying higher-waist jeans, and also – wear a belt! I am a pear shape with plenty of butt and hips, and my jeans still slide down without a belt. If you don’t like dealing with the belt buckle i like the invisibelt or stretchy beltaway ones that pretty much disappear under my tops.

      1. +3 to high waists and a belt! I have the same problem as OP, straight up and down, no butt to speak of, but athletic thighs.

    6. Madewell jeans were a revelation to both my best friend and I, who have completely opposite shapes. The ten inch rise is amazing. My husband even loves them and can’t keep his hands off me when I wear them.

      1. I agree with the recommendation for Madewell high waisted jeans. I am also extremely straight up and down, and carry my extra weight in my tummy.

    7. I should have read your question more carefully earlier! You are built like me and I have the same issue. I wear Levi’s 311s and wash them and dry them to make sure they are tightened up and will stay up. I’ve had them in 5 sizes at this point.

  10. For those who have had success with therapists for depression, what kind of therapy worked for you? I am aware the CBT is what is recommended, but reading about it, it sounds sort of odd to me. Also if anyone has a recommendation for a therapist in Chicago, I have had a lot of trouble finding someone. Thanks.

    1. CBT. It works. I’ve used in successfully. A big part of depression for me was cognitive distortions (I’m bad, not successful, the world is a bad place etc) and CBT was a useful and successful tool.

      1. Counterpoint, it wasn’t useful for me as I needed to explore past experiences to understand my present state. The majority of my depression is also chemical, so no amount of CBT in the world is going to be as effective as meds for me.

        I also got absolutely nothing out of EMD.

        TLDR; it can be useful, but not for everyone.

        1. Maybe it’s a difference in therapists but we definitely discussed past experiences. I also used meds but I think it’s pretty common to do therapy in addition to meds so I didn’t bother mentioning that in my post.

    2. Therapy in general plus meds. The meds make the work done in therapy useful/possible.

      I’ve never understood the focus on the TYPE of therapy. In my experience it is far more important to find a person who works for you. It is a slog but so worth it. That also means that meds can be helping in the meantime.

      1. +1 as a psychologist – it does not matter what type of therapy as long as you are in it

    4. My therapist uses different modalities: CBT and EMDR combined with your typical “tell me about your mother” style talk therapy.

      What worked well for me (in addition to meds) was starting with general talk-therapy and simultaneously working through CBT books to help reframe cognitive distortions (all the while building up trust w my therapist), then getting deep into some trauma with EMDR (and continued talk therapy) and once I’d sort of ~worked through~ the big traumatic things, doing monthly check ins/tune ups so I don’t slide back into the habits of depression and anxiety.

    6. This combination was the most effective for my severe depression: antidepressant medication (a lower dose), an ADHD diagnosis, daily Concerta, and ACT therapy and therapist.

      ACT stands for Acceptance and Commitment therapy; it’s similar to CBT. It was a game-changer for me in a way that CBT was not.

      1. I would also recommend ACT over CBT. CBT is great for cognitive distortions, accomplishing short term goals, and generally self control, but in my experience it can get weird/bad if those aren’t really the issues.

  11. Has anyone heard of this brand? Comments on quality and of the spinny wheels?
    I’m the same poster who tried AWAY and could not justify the price for what it is. thanks!

    1. I have the small (19” I think) spinner & love it. Used it on mini planes in Europe without having to check it. Caught in major rain, no issues.

      1. do you miss the lack of a lock? that’s the only thing that’s holding me back… I really like how light it looks! I’ve been hardside for a while, but seriously thinking about one of the lipault softsided ones…

    2. My mom has a softsided Lipault carry-on and loves it. I ended up borrowing it last-minute for a recent trip (had forgotten that a wheel simply, fell off my old Samsonite one on the way home from Europe in November…) and really liked it! It’s very light, seems reasonably water-resistant, and the wheels seem sturdy. I crammed it into the carry-on rack of a small US commuter plane with no issues. Plan to buy one for myself the next time I need one.

  12. This morning, I think I may have brushed the side mirror of another car with my side mirror. I’m not 100% sure they touched – the other car was pretty close to me as I was passing them (going in the same direction but they were over their line) and I hit a pothole that jarred my car; the driver made a hand motion as I passed them, which is why I think the mirrors may have touched. There’s no scratch on my car. By the time I got to a safe place to pull over, the other driver had driven off. Should I call the police to leave my information in case the other driver calls in? I don’t want to risk getting a ticket for a hit and run, and if there was any damage then of course I want to do the right thing and take care of it. I’m kicking myself for not just stopping in traffic to make sure everything was ok.

    1. If the driver didn’t pull over, you’re fine. This is not the definition of “hit and run” that authorities are concerned about.

      1. This is unnecessary. OP, I think it’s fine – if you didn’t hear metal on metal, there’s no reason to think it was an impact. The driver probably flipped you off if you were too close or something.

    3. Do you suffer from anxiety? I ask this without judgment, because this is the sort of thing my generalized anxiety would make me stress about for a week.

      1. Housecounsel, please – this is a specific question about a legitimate incident, not a manifestation of lifelong anxiety. Your post is reminiscent of the time that everyone accused an OP of anxiety problems for asking for strategies to get her partner to forgetting to turn off the stove burners on with pets in the house. Not everything is OMGANXIETY.

        1. I’m with Housecounsel – worth considering. The perseveration the OP describes is classic anxiety, disproportionate to the situation she’s laid out (and what others are telling her).

          – Lifelong anxiety sufferer who’s done a lot of work on NOT doing this.

    4. If there is no damage to your car, it’s highly unlikely that the other car was damaged. If the other driver drove off and you pulled over, they are the ones who hit-and-ran, not you.

      1. They pulled off into a gated parking garage before I could pull over safely. So… I didn’t stop because they were already gone and there was no way for me to enter their parking garage. Does this change anything? I’m really kicking myself for not just pulling over even though I would’ve blocked traffic, I didn’t think they’d disappear so quickly.

        1. I’m unclear still.

          Did they deliberately pull over because of said incident? In that case, yes, you absolutely should have stopped and yes, I might consider calling the cops to inquire as to if something were reported.

        3. I get why you are focusing on this, but I don’t think there’s anything you can do except wait and see what happens (and seems extremely unlikely that anything would happen). I suggest writing down everything that you remember about what happened & then sign/date (or maybe email to yourself for the time stamp), so you have all the details preserved just in case and let yourself move on.

    5. If the side mirrors touched while you were driving at speed (your mention of having no safe place to pull over immediately made me think you were not in crawling traffic) you would know. You would hear it. If there wasn’t a mark on your car, the other car is fine.
      These things happen. I’m glad you are otherwise OK. Deep breath and move on.

    6. I highly doubt your mirrors touched. There would have been noise. You would have known by the sound if they hit.

  13. Any advice on how to stop thinking about a guy in the very early stages of dating? I met a guy through friends a few weeks ago, and we have hung out half a dozen times at group events and once one on one. I think he may be interested, but I’m not sure. Either way, he is out of town for the next two weeks. It feels too early to text him, but I can’t stop daydreaming and obsessing. He is the first guy I’ve really liked in a long time. I tried doing using the dating apps this weekend to take my mind off of him, but no one seemed interesting. Any advice?

    3. I feel this so hard. Go on dates. Surely there must be someone on the app that you can tolerate for a drink. You’ve got to distract yourself and ime dating other people is the best way to do it. Also if you want some tough love – girl get ahold of yourself, you’ve been on one date with this person, if he gets a whiff of this level of obsession he will (understandably) run for the hills. Believe me, I’ve been there, and every time I’ve felt overeager it has chased the guy off. Also, someone recently gave this advice on here, men who are interested do not leave you wondering if they’re interested; if you’re not sure about his feelings then he’s probably a bit lukewarm rn. Take the two week break for the gift it is – it’s enough time for you to locate some chill! Also hugs and all the commiseration, dating sucks.

    4. You need to actually date him before you start obsessing! Right now he’s just some nice guy you know.

  14. Can anyone recommend a therapist in the Philadelphia area for adults who were abused as children? I’m helping a friend find some options. There was some physical abuse, but mostly emotional/neglect. I’m looking up trauma/C-PTSD recommendations on Psychology Today but it’s a bit overwhelming.

    1. Where in Philly? Penn center for treatment and study of anxiety is the best known, but there are a number of excellent folks for this.

  15. My sister and her husband very recently decided to separate. BIL is still living in the home. How can I best support her during this time? She has three very young kids and finances are already tight. I’ve offered her a key to our place if she just needs a break from being in her house. I’m planning to check in with her regularly. None of it seems like enough, though. :( If you’ve been in this situation, what would’ve been helpful to you? Sister and I are close, and I am worried about her emotional state based on some of the things she’s shared with me recently … like she really hates herself right now and is struggling with feeling like a failure.

    (Dudes of the 21st century: Please learn about emotional labor, the second shift, and what an equal division of labor actually looks like. Also, LISTEN TO YOUR PARTNER when she tells you, ad nauseum, that things aren’t working for her.)

    1. Find her the name of a good therapist. Encourage her to go. Remind her that she needs to take care of herself to be able to take care of her kids.

      Definitely give her the key and a rough schedule of when you are and are not home so she has options for both company and alone time.

    2. Encourage her to get counseling and offer to help with the kids so she can find time to go.

    3. Just be a good sounding board without trying to “solve” anything, take her on occasional sister dates, babysit the kids so she can get out. This is gonna be a hard time and there is nothing you can really do to change it – your best way to be supportive is offering a kind ear and mental breaks.

    4. I’ll throw this out there…..offer to watch the kids while she goes to therapy…..further, if it’s within your budget, pay for it for a set # of visits.
      If need be couch it as her birthday/holiday gift.
      Personally, I’ve done this with a family member a) because I was too emotionally invested b) not a trained professional.
      In my case I paid for 3 months biweekly visits and another family member contributed the same.
      Ymmv

    5. Just listen. Be willing to be a listening ear without judgment and without trying to make this better. Recognize that she will be in the midst of grief for a long while, and it may look different from day-to-day. When I was going through this, my sister told me that she was going to call me every day. I did not need to answer, but she was going to call. If I picked up great, and if not, no problem. She was a wonderful, steadying presence, even though she was 1000 miles away. She didn’t leave a message and it was so much better than a daily text of “you ok” because there were many days that were awful and there was nothing anyone could do to make it better.

      It is great to ask her what she needs, but she may not know. Instead, make her favorite meal and ask if she wants you around during dinner or would prefer to handle it on her own. One of the best suggestions I have heard is to send a new, warm and fuzzy blanket. Something that she can wrap herself in at night or whenever and know that you are there giving her a hug through the blanket. Be an awesome presence in her kids’ lives. Let her know that you are there for her and her kids, no matter what, and then follow through. Offer to be the fun aunt and, if you have the capacity, the aunt who will help with logistics.

  16. Has anyone had any experience with Interior Define? About to place an order for either the Sloan or Oliver, but I’m overwhelmed with the fabric options and would love to hear of others experiences. TIA!

    1. We have a piece from them that we got from their floor/clearance sale last summer (unbelievable sale – go if you can!). A bit different since we didn’t choose the fabric, but the piece is super comfy and seems really well made. I think it’s the heather weave fabric, for what it’s worth. Their customer service seems great too so far (we’ve been in touch about ordering coordinating pieces to go with the one we bought).

    2. I have the Sloan sectional in one of the heathered weaves and I love it! I splurged on the double sided cushions and it is sooo comfortable. Definitely order swatches of the fabrics you’re interested in. They’ll send them for free
      I like that the arms on the Sloan are wide enough to set a drink on and low enough to comfortably rest your arms on

  17. I’m looking for wireless earphones that won’t fall out working out.
    I’m doing HIIT, running and yoga with an app, and need something that is lightweight, has a good battery life and will stay put even when I’m doing jumping jacks. Doesn’t have to be noise canceling or anything fancy.
    Pricepoint under $100, if possible.

    1. These are above your price-point, but I really like the Jabra Elite Active 65t (there might be a newer version out there now). I ended up with these after sweating through two other other cheaper pairs in 3 weeks. I’ve had these for nearly a year and they work great.

      1. I flipping hated my jabra ones and immediately went back to AirPods, so if you HATE Airpods, give Jabra a try.

      2. I have and like these. They’re often available refurbed on Amazon for a significant discount, and I believe the 75t just came out (or will soon be released), so there may be deals generally available on the 65t.

    2. I successfully purchased a pair of the beats pro on ebay for like $80. (the not truly wireless ones)

    3. I love the Plantronics Backbeat fit headphones for this use case. the charge lasts for 4-5 hours. I also like how they don’t form a seal in my ear, so I can hear if someone is asking me a question.

    4. Caveat that they’re huge and a headset, but I love Skullcandy Crusher Wireless Over-Ear Headphone – ($129 for the black ones). I run outside, elliptical, weight lift, and have never had an issue with their size or weight. I could not get in-ear buds to ‘stick’ during my runs and I had to keep readjusting and hated it. Battery life is incredible, they estimate 40 hours and I have found that to be true. When the pair I got 2 years ago dies, I’m just going to buy another.

  18. This is a late reply to the person who asked about kybella or coolsculpting for double chin over the weekend. I can’t speak to kybella, but I had two coolsculpting treatments for the remnants of my double chin after a 70 lb weight loss. I was actually really pleased with the results. I only needed the small applicator that goes directly under the chin not the applicators for the sides. I had the first treatment at the end of September and a follow up treatment at the end of October/beginning of November. It took a couple of months to start seeing the results but it definitely reduced the stubborn pocket of fat there and worked to tighten the droopy skin. I don’t remember the cost because I did it as a package with my upper arms (definite results there as well), but I would recommend. There was no downtime other than looking red and a little swollen for a couple of hours immediately post-treatment. I still have about 20 lbs left to lose and will probably do another round of coolsculpting when I get closer to goal weight.

  19. For the poster on the weekend thread dealing with hair loss, try seeing Andrew DiSimone at The Hair Place in NYC about wigs/other hair piece options!

    1. That was me. Thanks so much. There was someone else who offered to share her functional medicine doctor. I’d love to get that name as well. (That said, female pattern hair loss runs in my family on both sides, and this is definitely more than just the post partum shed.)

  20. We have local counsel on a case that is a major problem. Complicating factor is that he has a preexisting relationship with the client, which is why we used him.
    In short he is not a litigator yet he offers all sorts of “advice,” the vast majority of which is either wrong or just not relevant. He’s also great at making mountains out of molehills. We spend a lot of time unraveling all of this because the client appears to listen to him.
    He calls unannounced much too frequently – as much as 6-10 times a day during deadlines, and most of those calls are just telling us we messed up something, don’t work hard enough, and complaining to us that the client is upset (which doesn’t seem to always be true). There is a lot of swearing. He seems to call me by default, even though I am the most junior partner on the case. I think it is because no one else will answer his calls. If I don’t answer my office phone, he calls me cell, texts, etc.
    Ideally I would like to fire him. He wastes a ton of our time, and causes a lot of totally unnecessary stress. We know people in this city who actually practice in our field, and who would be able to serve as real local counsel (provide insight into judges, application of local rules, etc.). Recognizing that is not realistic, any advice on what to do?
    I’ve already complained to the three other partners on the case, the they agree he is a huge PITA. Other partners has talked to this guy and told him to stop calling me/us all the time. The senior partner also talked the client about calling us directly if he has questions or is worried about something. I have also told the client this independently multiple times.

    1. No advice but commiseration. I would tell him that you are not able to text about work due to firm policies (if true – also get other partners to back you up). Stop answering his calls. Tell him email is the best way to reach you and you can set up a call if needed.

  21. Are there any norms around how early you can buy registry wedding gifts? I’m going to a wedding in September, and the registry is already up. It’s not too early to just buy something off it now, right? TIA!

    1. I don’t think there’s a rule about how early is too early. As a cautionary measure, I’d probably order it for delivery after the shower, if they’re having one. I once sent a wedding gift directly to the couple as soon as the registry was posted. The only shower was out of state and, while I appreciated the invite, the bride knew I was not going to travel for the shower. Maybe someone else wrote the thank you notes for the shower? Because I got one. Idk why someone thought I sent a shower gift for a shower I didn’t attend, but I really hope the couple knew it was supposed to be a wedding gift!

      1. If you sent me a gift prior to my shower and had been invited, but didn’t attend, I would definitely think it was a shower gift (unless it was so wildly generous so as to be clearly not a shower gift). I always send a gift, whether I attend or not.

        For OP, if you’re worried about this issue (i.e., won’t get a shower gift as well) maybe use the gift box to express that it’s the wedding present.

      2. I always buy off the registry early (partly so I have choice, and partly so I can check it off my mental list) and this has happened to me before as well. Maybe the couple puzzled at me giving a $250 “shower” gift or maybe they wondered at the fact that I didn’t get them another “wedding” gift or whatever else, but I just let the chips fall where they may and don’t give it to much thought. If you give a physical card at the wedding (which I often do with well wishes) you could perhaps mention the gift in some way there, but it’d run the risk of looking tacky.

    3. I like to buy gifts early (so I’m not stuck with the crappy expensive stuff after everyone has already bought everything) but I don’t send them early.

      1. Most registries send directly to the couple though, so buying and sending are simultaneous.
        OP, we set up our registry early and started getting wedding gifts almost a year before our wedding. I think it’s NBD.

  22. How much fiber do you consume daily and are you regimented about it — must eat a bowl of oatmeal daily or 5 dates or whatever — or do you just eat whatever you want and it’s NBD. This has gotten to be an issue for me as I’ve gotten older (39) and after years of eating whatever and not caring, seems like my body now cares and if I can’t use the bathroom for a few days, it’s a recipe for bloating, maybe some upset stomachs etc. Yet when I’m consistent things are better. Is this an age thing? What do you all do?

    1. For context: I am gluten and dairy intolerant and also have IBS.
      I try to focus all my meals around whole plant foods and find that the fiber takes care of itself. Example breakfasts are oatmeal with fruit, toast with tomato paste and avocado (plus TJ bagel seasoning), 2 hard boiled eggs and side of fruit. Example lunches are leftover dinners, BIG salad with variety of veg and beans/lentils/chicken/tofu/chopped veggie burger for protein, homemade soup/stew with side of toast or crackers and piece of fruit, or roasted sweet potato topped with black beans, roasted corn (buy it frozen), sautéed spinach and lots of salsa. For dinner I usually have a big salad with protein (if not for lunch), or just focus on a veg heavy meal including multiple servings of cooked veggies with a grain (rice, quinoa, polenta, brown rice pasta). If I have pasta then I’ll add sautéed eggplant, whole tomatoes and spinach, for example. Or I might make a “sushi bowl” with rice base, chopped tofu, edamame, carrots, cabbage and spinach on top. If I’m lazy I just have a frozen veggie burger and throw together a side of whatever veggies I have in the freezer/fridge. I don’t really snack except for occasional apple/fruit in the afternoon and maybe piece of chocolate at night.

    2. Metamucil has changed my life. I take two heaping teaspoons in the evening once a day. I’ve found it’s really hard to get enough fiber from just regular food.

      1. Yeah, I take psyllium husk capsules after dinner each evening (same thing that is in Metamucil). I’ve been doing that since my mid-30s.

    3. This seems like a common aging thing. I am not regimented to the extent you describe but yeah, having salads for lunches rather than sandwiches makes a noticeable difference in digestion. Sigh, the joys of getting older.

    4. Yep – Age 50 here, and I found myself needing significant help in that area going into my 40’s. I eat a bowl of Kashi Go-Lean every morning, and try to eat whole grains and a decent amount of fruit and veggies in general. A day or two of Miralax helps if I get particularly stopped-up.

    5. I do think about it and notice how uncomfortable and unpleasant it is when I don’t get enough, but I don’t really track it or anything. My normal diet includes a lot of beans and I have yogurt with a bunch of seeds every morning for breakfast, which so far is good enough. It’s when I travel or my routine otherwise gets disrupted that I notice.

      1. oh my god, travel has become a whole different thing. I need to order salad way more often to get through travel where the water is different, jet lag and weird hotel AC mess me up.

    6. I think the phrase everything in moderation was written for the 35+ aged crowd. Gone are the days where I can live on a carb only diet. Back in college I could buy a 6 pack of bagels and one of those 3 packs of Ellios pizza and eat those for 6 days because they were cheap and tasted good and digestion was NBD; I’d go to the bathroom whenever I did even if it was days later. Nowadays — something like this would leave me backed up for a week and then bloated for days after which sometimes causes upset stomachs too. Yet I have no problem having a bagel or frozen pizza now and again. I’m honestly still trying to figure out the fiber thing as it became a problem for me around age 37. I feel like now I keep frozen veggies on hand so if I feel like I haven’t been getting enough fiber I’m quick to stir fry up a serving and have them as a side or even a snack. Nuts are helpful too.

    7. I got through phases of being extremely high fiber, and then I fall off the wagon and eat crap food for weeks at a time and struggle. I try to supplement with fiber powder in my coffee when this happens, to some success. Just wanted to add that I’ve noticed my mood is also very affected by these um, phases.

      1. Same. I have no consistency in this area. Though I blame it on the fact that I have no meal planning whatsoever — so then when I’m hungry, I eat whatever I can right then with no regard for whether I’m getting vegetables etc.

    8. I do one of: yogurt, fruit or oatmeal on each day. I am not regimented about it, I usually end up eating one of these things for breakfast most days anyway, and at the end of the day, if I haven’t had any of the above, I’ll eat some yogurt with dinner. Also 40.

    9. I think by this age it’s fairly normal to have to give up the carb only diet. I think most people I know have a thing that they do in this area — not that it’s talked about. But it’s the reason that people eat salads 5 days/wk; have a side of roasted veggies x number of times/wk; or eat oatmeal; or prunes; or Metamucil or probiotics or some combo of the above. I think it’s just about figuring out what works for you +what you will actually do. It’s all fine and well to order the salad daily at lunch but if you pick at it and eat the croutons and carrots, that’s not doing you a ton of good from a fiber perspective. The joys of getting old . . . .

    10. I’m not super focused on it, basically because most of my diet is pretty full of beans and veggies and fruits, but for breakfasts I made a switch from cream of wheat to hot oat bran cereal, and it’s been great from a “regularity” perspective. If you like hot cereal I recommend it.

      2. I buy the Bob’s Red Mill brand, but it’s just oat bran, nothing special to turn it into cereal, so if you can go somewhere with bulk grains you can buy it that way too (directions for cooking are on the Bob’s site).

    11. I eat whatever I want (which isn’t a great diet – lots of pasta, cookies etc.) BUT I stir fry up some veggies at least 3 nights/wk. It can be whatever I have on hand — the mixed carrot/peas thing that little kids eat; spinach etc. Just to make sure I’m getting some fiber in.

    12. No way to prove it but as I’ve gotten older (39 also) it feels like these things are way more affected by hormones. I feel like I’m constipated after/during ovulation and gassy then too and then during my period constipated and then it feels like the gas almost lingers for 2-4 days and then all of a sudden better — and then the same in 2 weeks. So yeah I’ve tried to focus on fiber to counteract some of this.

    13. I take a magnesium supplement which seems to help along with lots of plant fiber: veggies, prunes (which I think taste amazing anyway) and green smoothies. I do the supplement and green smoothie daily.
      Yogurt and grains never worked for me. I don’t even consider oatmeal a help, though it’s delicious with raisins, apples and cinnamon.
      I find I have more issues the week or two (! ) before my period. Everything slows down and bloats up. I haven’t found the magic bullet, but the magnesium does seem to help during this time.

    14. I don’t think about it at all, but as a vegetarian who loves whole grains, I get a fair of fiber pretty easily. All bread, pasta, and couscous are whole wheat, I bake with whole wheat flour or other whole grains, eat oatmeal with berries a couple days a week, eat a lot of beans, quinoa, and nuts. I don’t eat think I actually eat THAT many fruits and veggies, but probably a few servings a day, mostly mixed into other things so it’s hard to count. I think it helps that fiber is just in everything as a way of life, rather than something special.

  23. I got the name of a contact in a startup in my area of study from the director of the research institute I work in. I was planning to contact the persons listed for an informational interview. But I also just noticed that the company has listed some open positions on their site. When I write to this person should I still frame the request as that of an informational interview. Should I reference the advertised positions , one of which would be of interest to me? I know the value of a referral when job hunting, advice on how to navigate this please? Thanks in advance.

    1. Yes, I’d still just ask for an informational interview. I wouldn’t try to circumvent their hiring process by trying to ask for a job interview.

    2. Yes, ask for an informational interview and you can mention the open position (as the type of thing you’d be interested in) when you speak to them. Then take it from there based on what their reaction is. Some folks will just say they’ll refer you to the position, others may give guidance but stop there, etc.

  24. PSA- Apparently Sephora majorly changed their return policy as of December 14, 2019! I used to shop here exclusively because I felt secure in my purchase due to their very generous return policy. I am still not fully understanding it, but it seems only returns less than 30 days are eligible for full refund. Between 30 – 60 days is store credit which has limitations, like not eligible for online purchases?? Wish I knew this before I sprung for a Dyson Airwrap, which I am returning after 34 days…

    1. I just looked and it looks like it is usable online but not in store which is so weird. I’ve been Rouge for a bunch of years and have been very loyal but I’ll have to see how this affects me.

      1. They gave me the opposite because I purchased online and returned in store. These rules make no sense! I ended up trading for nearly $600 worth of gift cards… I think I will be switching to Nordstrom after this.

        1. Be careful with Nordstrom. They apparently thought I was returning too much and without giving me a heads up or anything just sent a letter that I’m not allowed to shop there anymore.

          1. How much did you return, either $ amount or % of purchases? I have always wondered what their threshold was.

          2. I’ve always wondered if (when?) this might happen to me, too. I am zealous overshopper/returner. For example, if I need a swim suit, I’ll order each one that might work, end up keeping two or three and returning a dozen. If you don’t mind sharing, I’d be very interested in how much you were returning.

    2. Yes, it’s so annoying! You used to be able to return anything at any time, even without a receipt, but I guess that policy was being abused. I am buying more products at Nordstrom.

  25. Can anyone opine as to whether the Hotel Indigo San Diego Gaslamp is in a nice area? Is it walkable to anything?

    Coming in two days early for a conference at the Manchester Hyatt and most everything else is booked (this is for tonight/tomorrow). TIA!

    1. Hi

      Welcome to San Diego. Hotel Indigo is in a nice area (for downtown) and walkable to quite a lot in terms of restaurants and the Bay. Just walk toward the water/Petco Park and not toward the 5 freeway (some of that area can be a bit dicey – not dangerous but not necessarily pleasant). If the weather is nice, walk down to the USS Midway and then take the ferry across to Coronado.

      Seaport Village is a tourist trap so avoid eating there but Puesto is actually pretty good and the Gaslamp is full of good food.

      I live in San Diego and work downtown so please let me know if you have any other questions!

    2. Can’t comment on the hotel specifically, but Gaslamp is super walkable, right by the water, really nice.

  26. So much for my vacation in Italy next month. If you had 10 days off where would you go?

      1. I think you’re as likely to get sick in Hawaii as Italy. They don’t have confirmed cases of it yet, but just last week, 2 Japanese citizens returned home from Hawaii and checked themselves into the hospital with confirmed cases of covid-19. They stayed in the Hilton Waikiki and flew Delta. Given the incubation period, it’s not surprising there are no confirmed cases in Hawaii yet, but I feel like it’s only a matter of time.

        That said, I’m going to Hawaii in May and have no intention of changing my plans. So, for OP, I vote Italy.

    4. Italy. Legit just booked myself in June. Would you avoid San Francisco because something was happening in Portland, Oregon? I mean maybe don’t go to the affected areas obviously but there’s A LOT to see in Italy. Sardinia? Sicily? Rome?

    5. Is the concern getting sick or not being able to do stuff? My understanding is that Milan is basically all shut down for quarantine, so it might not be a great place to visit right now, but central and southern Italy should be fine. This kind of thing changes so fast though that if your vacation is at the end of March, I wouldn’t worry about it now. If it’s in a week and you were supposed to go to Milan, then yeah, I might consider alternative plans.

    6. Somewhere awesome within a half day’s drive/train ride of me. Not so much because I’m afraid of getting ill, but because of concerns that measures to limit the spread of the disease could make a vacation less pleasant (difficulty getting back, quarantine measures, etc) and environmental concerns have me wanting to fly less.

    8. Some countries have canceled flights to and from Italy, many work places have limited travel to Italy to essential travel only (and that’s a major corporation with thousands of employees), and it’s one of the highest concentration of the virus with no indication of who the patient zero is so they don’t know how to contain it based on contacts.

      It is not crazy to avoid Italy, at all.

      1. I am not allowed to set foot in my fortune 500 company for 14 days afterwards if I have returned from Asia or Italy.

    9. I’ve spent my entire day dealing with this for my job, and I would not cancel travel to Italy today. Give it another week or two and see how the situation develops.

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