Coffee Break: Wool and Cashmere Scarf

Nordstrom Wool & Cashmere Scarf | CorporetteThis wool/cashmere blend scarf looks great — the fabric blend gives it some weight as well as wind-blocking properties. We’ve talked before about how to layer a wrap or ruana over a blazer; this looks great for that purpose. I could also see this being my go-to scarf for every spring/fall evening out where you aren’t sure how cold the night is going to be. This one was $98, but is now marked to $65 at Nordstrom (available in 12 colors!). Nordstrom Wool and Cashmere Scarf



  1. YOU GUYS!

    I asked my manager for a 20% raise. And she said it was a very reasonable request, agreed that I am underpaid, and she’s going to work on making it happen!


    I am not counting this unhatched chicken yet, as I know there are several layers of bureaucracy above her that would all have to sign off on it, and it’s a big ask, but: yay! So far so good!

  2. VIP (very important purse) question :


    I live in a city big enough to have a NM (but it isn’t as well stocked as it is in more major cities). I have hoarded gift cards for a year and have saved enough to buy a $1,000 purse.

    I can order from the company’s website or Barney’s or maybe get my NM to get one shipped in from another store. Which is the way to go? I’d like to be fussed over in a store, but won’t get to NYC for a while (and I’m always working when I’m there, so I haven’t ever gotten in stores that might sell what I want). Are there rewards or points or anything else to consider (or is that not a thing with high-ticket items). Any other considerations? [If I mail ordered, I’d ship it to work so it wouldn’t get rained on / stolen and there’d be a signature.]

    [Also, absent using the gift cards to buy a gift card at whichever store in advance, I’m not planning to make the purchase with 10 little gift cards. I just had to make it, in my mind, a gift.]

    • I think you mean Bergdorf Goodman, not Barney’s (which tends to have a trendier collection but alas is not owned by NM). I think that you should take some time to look at what’s available in your store and see if you fall in love with anything, and then look online. If you see a few things online that you love, I’d see if they can be shipped to the NM in your town (not sure if they’d do this with Bergdorf goods though). If all that fails, however, NM has free returns, so order until you find something you love!

    • maximize points! :

      You’d definitely get fussed over if you bought in person and if that’s important to you, then it would be worth it. Plus the packaging. :)

      On the other hand, I’m all about maximizing points and cash back so I’d buy online for something like this. The store will still know that I spend $$ (if it were Nordie’s I’d use my card from there and just pay it off with the gift cards, to get the points). NM is on ebates and upromise (check evrewards dot com for other cash back sites). Sometimes you can get 10% back and that’s not chump change on your purchase.

      Enjoy your purchase!

    • Unless you have your heart set on a specific, classic piece, definitely wait for a sale. Pretty much everything goes on sale at some point (and you can always ask the salespeople about whether/when this happens).

    • If you buy online and shop through ebates, you’ll get 4% back. Also NM has random promotions for email subscribers like $200 off a $1,000 purchase.

  3. Soliciting advice. I’m looking to upgrade from my little hatchback I bought for law school back in my 20s. It’s time has come to be passed on to a family member in need of a car. As for me, I’m now a single lady in her 30s, live in the south with a half hour commute to work. No kids, just me, and occasionally my SO and my dog will ride in the car. Anyone have any suggestions?

    • Anonymous :

      Honda Civic. Always Honda Civic. Always.
      I buy certified used from a dealer. (I mean I bought once, because I have only had two Civics, the first one lived forever)

      • Sydney Bristow :

        I don’t have a car anymore but my last one was a Civic that I had bought new and loved it. My parents’ Accord was definitely a step above and I’d have bought one myself if I could afford it.

        My parents also had a Subaru sedan that I drove occasionally. I can’t remember which model it was but I really really liked it.

        • The new Civic body style (10th Generation) comes out in the fall. They look awesome!

          • I drive a Civic coupe, and it’s a fantastic little car – great on gas, fun to drive and easy to park. Highly recommend it (though I might have held out for the Accord coupe if my budget was a little bigger)

      • I agree. Either a Civic or an Accord. Or if you can afford it an Acura.

        • Civic. I had one that lasted for 16 years and I only got rid of it because it was vandalized and would have cost more to fix than it was worth. But there were NO mechanical problems. I promptly bought myself another (used) Civic and I love it even more than my last one.

      • Brunette Elle Woods :

        I agree. My family is full of Honda Civics with one Accord. My poor car is a 2001. It has an oil leak, the driver’s side mirror was cracked by a snow plow this winter, and I have no idea how it is still going, but it gets me to work everyday! I’ll probably get a “new” used one this summer.

    • Budget?

    • No model advice, but I wish I had gone high end on the audio system of my car. I have a similar commute and a 10-year-old Camry and love listening to cds and the radio during my ride. I’m envious of those who can listen to podcasts though!

      • Anonymous :

        from the places I have looked at around here you can get a stereo component with an Aux in for your phone for pretty cheap, $100-200. By any dealer or special car audio store. Do it! It’s so worth it. It’s on my list to do this year as a gift to myself ;o)

        • Thanks! I’ve tried the tape deck things (thanks to you too, Gail) but there was always a pretty loud hissing sound. I’m going to check out car audio store.

      • Gail the Goldfish :

        Do you have a tape deck or just CD player? I’ve got a converter tape that I can play by iPod through my tapedeck, so as long as I remember to update my iPod playlists, I’m good.

        (To that end, buy a Toyota. They never die. Mine hit 200,000 recently-18 years old.)

    • Prius

      • Diana Barry :

        I test drove a Prius and couldn’t stand the lack of acceleration – it sounded like it was revving really hard but the car felt like it just wouldn’t GO. YMMV though!

      • All the way. It’s been such a sturdy, reliable car for me. Also surprisingly roomier than most SUVs I’ve ridden in. I have hauled many a piece of furniture in it. Obviously the gas savings are wonderful. I bought mine used on Craigslist with only 12k miles on it.

      • Killer Kitten Heels :

        I have the Prius C (the baby hatchback version of the Prius that costs less), and it’s been a really great car, for the most part. I’m in the Northeast and it kind of disappointed me this winter in the snow (I had previously had a Civic that was an absolute beast in the snow in spite of its small size, and I had hoped the Prius would be similarly robust, and of course it wasn’t), but if you’re in the South and snowy weather isn’t an issue, I think it would be basically the perfect car. Unlike Diana Barry, I don’t feel like I have any problems with acceleration – it doesn’t make any noise, which is kind of weird and takes getting used to, but it does get up to speed no problem on the highway.

        Also, the gas mileage! I drive highway miles to/from work and average 60 mpg. It is glorious.

    • Budget is $30k. I agree that sound quality is important! Right now I can’t hear my podcasts over the sound of the road.

      • Acura RDX!!!!

      • I think you can get a hybrid Civic for under this. I would vote +1,000 on Honda Civic or Accord. My mom just bought her 3rd Accord in 36 years…she keeps them 12-14 years each and it’s never anything wrong with them, just that after that time she wants something new with more recent safety features. They are great cars and hold their value. Even the non-hybrid versions get pretty good mileage.

      • thanks for all your suggestions! I’ve been thinking about the Mazda 3 or Cx-5,or a rav4. I’ve always enjoyed mazdas, and I’m having a hard time convincing myself to go from a hatchback to a sedan. You can fit so much stuff in a hatchback!

        ETA: oops! Added this in the wrong spot. Sorry!

        • We have a CX-5 and have been pretty happy with it. Gas mileage is pretty good, but it’s big enough to fit a lot of stuff. It’s two years old and we haven’t had any problems with it yet. Our only complaint is with the audio system (it takes ^&%$#@ forever for an ipod to load and it starts over every time you start the car), but I think that problem was specific to our model year.

          • Also have the CX-5, but without the bluetooth (or an iPhone) and the audio works just fine :)

        • I recently got a Subaru Crosstrek from Carmax in that range, however it has 4WD for the snow, and seating for passengers. I wanted to add – with a 30 minute commute, look at fuel efficiency as part of the equation.

          Mini Coopers make me pause, but will wait until the kids are older – that might not be an issue for you!

          Hondas are a great value for the money – after I ran my CRV for 222K miles (it was still running when I donated it), the Accord was next.

        • I’m pretty well decided that the Mazda 3 hatchback will be my next car. My current Mazda 626 has been super solid and reliable for me since 2001. I really haven’t needed to do any major unexpected repairs on it, just brake jobs and the like over time.

        • I love my Mazda3! Test drove a Civic, Corolla, Yaris, and maybe something else when purchasing ~8 years ago and the Mazda was WAY more fun to drive (only tested manual transmissions tho). Still going strong, no problems, would definitely buy again! Have a sedan, not the base model but not the turbo. Good size for you- usually just me and my spouse, on long trips to the inlaws my bro in law + 2 dogs come along – a tight fit for a long trip but it’s fine. Re: sound quality of audio: Mini Coopers are quite loud inside.

        • Alanna of Trebond :

          Ugh don’t get a Mazda. I’ve rented them and they are always a disappointment after driving toyotas/hondas (or upgrade to lexus/acura).

        • Asideralis :

          I have the new 2015 Mazda 3 hatchback and I adore it. It handles wonderfully. I’ve driven Hondas (I loved the CRZ, but I tend to have a lot of friends in my car), Hyundais, Toyotas, Nissans… And I just adored the features of the Mazda 3. I like hatchbacks, but prefer smaller cars. The sound in the Mazda is great, very low noise levels for the price of the vehicle. Toyotas always feel cheap to me, and Nissans don’t get great gas mileage.

          I liked the Hyundai Veloster a lot, but the Mazda 3 had a better reaction, and the push-to-start button which I really wanted. I almost got it, though, and may trade for one in the future. The Honda CRZ was an amazingly fun car and would be great for people who rarely give rides. The Honda Civic is a great sedan/coupe. I enjoyed driving it, but I wanted the hatchback for my dogs.

        • I had a Mazda 3 and I loved it, but my husband and I were rearended and to say that it did not hold up well in the accident is an understatement. The entire car crushed up like a pop can and the front seats literally dislodged from the vehicle.

      • SoCalAtty :

        I’m borrowing my friend’s Honda Crosstour right now while my big car is in the shop…I actually really like it! It has been around, too, so you could probably get a good deal on used.

        But this really depends on what you do with it other than drive to work. Do you go camping? Other sports? drive in bad weather (need AWD)?

    • I love my little Subaru Impreza hatchback (good size backseat for my big dog), but if I never had to drive on snow and ice, I would get a Mazda 3 hatchback. Great fuel mileage, peppy and fun to drive. The Mazda certified pre owned vehicles are usually a pretty good deal with good warranty terms.

      • lucy stone :

        I love my 3 hatchbaack, and for your budget, you could get a brand new one with all the options! It stinks on ice, but that’s not a problem for you and it’s okay once you buy better tires.

    • Anonymous :

      VW Golf. I looove mine SO MUCH.

      • I also LOVE my golf. I also really love having a small car in the city and laughing at SUVs trying to park where I just left.

      • anonypotamus :

        will chime in too, that I LOVE my golf. parking is easy, good gas mileage, even around town, and zippy and fun to drive. also the bright red color makes me happy! plus, hatchbacks are the best. I can fit so. much. stuff. in my car.

      • FWIW, I loved my Jetta, but now that I have a Mazda3, I wouldn’t go back to VW due to the pricier maintenance. (Now if I could afford an M2, different story….)

    • I have a Toyota Rav-4 and I love it. I’ve driven a sedan before, but for my commute, I just feel more secure in a slightly larger car. I feel that the Rav-4 gives me a good combination of size, gas mileage, and maneuverability (both on the road, and ability parking in a city).

    • Anonymous :

      I love my Toyota Camry and am very loyal to the brand. The Camry is bigger than I need (it was inherited from my parents) and my next car will probably be a Corolla.

    • Bitter Betty :

      VW Jetta, the TDI clean diesel model. DH bought one last fall for his commuter car and loves it. We had a Honda Accord before that, and put over 200k miles on it before a truck took it out. Both are great cars.

      • Mischief Managed :

        +1 for the Jetta TDI. I get about 50 mpg most of the time and these cars last forever if you take care of them.

    • I have an Accord and it is a great car.

      But it is boring. So boring. I agree with the Acura recommendation for something more fun.

      Or…a Mazda 3. I had a Protege in law school, and my parents had the 6 or 626 when I was growing up. They are just as reliable and long lived as a Honda. But they are way more fun!

      If my Accord didn’t have “only” 80k miles on it, I would get a 3. Zoom zoom.

      • My husband had a Mazda 3 that was a total lemon. I hear good things about them generally so I think this one was just a freak issue.

      • I had an Accord that I drove into the ground and finally sold it with 250K on it. Replaced it with an Acura TSX and I couldn’t be happier. It’s essentially a rebadged Accord, with the high reliability and reasonable maintenance, but it’s much more fun to drive and has a good sound system. I bought it used and plan to keep it as long as it’ll roll. A win-win, all the way around.

        That said, DH has a Subaru Outback that’s a blast to drive and is also a good balance of fun and reliability. Pluses for storage and all-wheel drive.

    • siliconvalleytechlawyer :

      If you want a little fun, try a used Honda S2000. Sadly, they don’t make them anymore but mine is 12 years old and still going strong and I get offers from people to buy it all the time. It’s held its value really well too – an SUV rear ended me a couple of months ago and I suddenly panicked that the insurance company might total the car and I’d be looking for something new but nope. Not only did it hold up well to being rear ended by a much bigger vehicle (I wasn’t hurt) it’s KBB value is $15k. Pretty good for a 12 year old car!

    • Carrie... :

      Save your $$ and keep driving your car into the ground…. and then get the “affordable” Tesla model in a few years with me!

      But seriously…. you actually have quite a bit of driving to get to work. Gas will go up again … I’d go with a Prius. Reliability is key and you can’t go wrong with Toyota.

    • SoCalAtty :

      RE: the Prius. I’ve driven several models, and I just have an undying hatred of these things. If you really want to go hybrid, take a look at the Honda hybrids. I think the Honda Civic hybrid comes in under $25k, and you’ll have room for upgrades if you go that route. The Volt is interesting as well, but is slightly over your $30k budget unless you find one used (very possible).

    • We had our Civic for 10 years before we upgraded to a CR-V. The Civic was a bit tight with our puppy.

    • Adding onto the Honda/Toyota crowd – I drive a 12 year old Civic and it’s been extremely reliable. However, it’s a compact car, and the recent models seem to be actually smaller than my old car… so depending on size of your dog you might want to consider the Accord or Camry.

    • Out of Place Engineer :

      If you are looking for a small SUV-type, have you considered a Buick Encore? (Just to expand the conversation to domestic vehicles.) It is super quiet, comes with great standard features, and has a lot of added safety fatures. Buick also scores high with Consumer Reports & JD Power, if that matters to you.

    • Late to the party, but I just have to put in another vote for Toyotas. My old Corolla is just shy of 300k miles and the only parts I’ve had to replace are the cat converter and fuel injectors (about $1500 total), and those only in the last year or so. My dad’s Tundra is nearly 250k and similarly long-lived. Those things last FOREVER.

  4. Diana Barry :

    Skin care question – I noticed today that I had a couple of patches of red, rough, slightly raised skin right outside my frown lines (on my forehead above my eyebrows). Has anyone had this? Would it be caused by a new product or does it sound like another kind of irritation?

    • It’s pretty common to get seborrheic dermatitis/eczema around the eyebrow area. You might want to research a little and see if that sounds right. I’ve had luck treating and preventing this with a combination of chemical exfoliation (red stridex pads) plus ample moisturizers (Cerave cream).

  5. Does anyone use Vaniqa? :

    Reposting from earlier: Has anyone used Vaniqa – prescription med for facial hair? Reviews, thoughts, opinions? I’m seeing my GP tomorrow and think I’d like to try it for hair on my upper lip, chin and neck.

    • No, but I had electroysis for facial hair. Appointments every second week for a year but I don’t even think about it now. I’ve never heard of Vaniqa, but if it would a life-time prescription electrolysis would be something to consider.

  6. la vie en bleu :

    Halp! I had a phone interview last week for a job I really should definitely get (had this job before in a different location before layoffs and they loved me) and they said they would decide on inperson interviews by last Friday, but I still haven’t heard anything!! It’s making me nuts, I am refreshing my email every 4 seconds. Tell me to chill out please!!!

    • Did you ping them? If they said they’d be in touch by last Friday, there’s no harm in sending a brief email to your contact to check in. Oftentimes people will give you inside info on what’s going on — e.g., the boss got called away to another city, the decision-maker has been out sick, the meeting where they were going to decide got postponed a week.

      • la vie en bleu :

        I don’t know, I’ve been colleagues with the person who is contacting candidates, so he knows who I am, and I figure I will hear from him if there is anything to tell me. And I also know he’s not very good at email, so if he even responds to an inquiry it will probably be one word and not a lot of info.

        But not hearing from them is making me worry that they have cut me already, so I’m freaking out a bit. bc I super need a real job right now and I just want to know already! Gah!

    • TO Lawyer :

      Awe man that sucks. I totally understand why you’re anxious. BUT remember that this is ordinary business for them and so two days (or 1.5) past their internal deadline may not mean anything.

      I would maybe wait till midday tomorrow and then contact him if you haven’t heard. I know how hard the waiting game can be though – is there anything you can do to take your mind off things?

      • AHHH I know this is really hard. Co-sign everything TO Lawyer said, and in the meantime — deep breaths.

  7. anon for this :

    What is your net worth (total assets minus total liabilities, including consumer debt, 401k, equity, investments, etc.?)

    On a related note:
    Liquid assets?
    How old are you?
    What is your salary?
    Do you have student loans?
    Do you own or rent?
    Where do you live (region)?
    Any other details you want to share? Are you happy with where you are?

    I’ll start.

    Net worth: just over 250K
    Liquid: 75K
    Age: 35
    Salary: 90K
    Student loans: None now. Had 17K at graduation but paid them off.
    Own/rent: Rent
    Region: Midwest
    Anything else: Family contributed 40K in bonds over the course of my life. Used 20K to pay for college upfront and saved the other 20K, which is still growing.

    Lived with parents immediately post-graduation for a year to save money, which made a huge difference. Parents paid for most of undergrad, but I worked throughout to contribute (and have worked since I was 15). Could not afford to do fancy unpaid internships when in college, which I felt was a disadvantage at the time, but now I’m grateful.

    I wish I could talk about some of this stuff with friends, but it’s the one taboo topic. We’ll talk about any other issues like sex, relationships, family problems, but no one ever talks about salary or net worth. Does anyone talk about this with their friends? It feels like the one thing you can’t bring up.

    I sense that some of my friends (and probably most people on this board) are doing way, way better than I am, but I just try to stick to my savings and investing goals and hope for the best. I also know some friends are knee-deep in debt, so this is probably the last thing they’re thinking about. I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable… which is why I bring it up here anonymously!

    • In response to your last paragraph, and in all seriousness – What are you hoping to get out of a discussion? Are you looking to benchmark where you are financially? Worried you don’t have enough for retirement? Is there a problem you need to solve? Are you trying to gauge a salary range for a type of job?

      I mean, I understand the curiosity, but the reason I don’t talk about this with my friends is because it’s not really my/their business and knowing this info about them isn’t really going to affect my life. I’m not sure what a discussion about salary or net worth with anyone but my spouse and financial adviser would accomplish.

      • I think there could be a lot to gain, beyond satisfying curiosity. Just like you’d get advice about relationships, you could get advice about saving, learn about different investment/financial vehicles out there, talk about things that worked for one person that could be learned/practiced by another. Just because it’s taboo, it doesn’t mean that there’s not something be learned by allowing for open dialogue. Doesn’t mean I’m about to go run and tell my friends about my financial situation, but conceptually I follow OP’s line of thinking.

        • Sure – talk about strategies and philosophies – but where does net worth and salary fit into that? You can have financial conversations in the abstract, or without talking anyone’s specific numbers – and I’m all for that. But since OP specifically mentioned salary and net worth, I was curious about OP’s reasoning behind having that specific discussion.

          • My response was in response to her comment: “I wish I could talk about some of this stuff with friends”… and interpreting that broadly. I’m not defending her wanting NW info from her friends.

        • Meg Murry :

          To be fair to the OP, other people have started this kind of thread before, and I don’t remember this kind of piling on – usually there are a lot of people chiming in, making me feel dirt poor.

          OP, you sound like you are doing fine – perhaps even great. I have no idea of my net worth because I haven’t added up all my debts recently and I don’t know what my house is technically “worth” in the ping-pong up-and-down market that my town is in, but I know that it’s probably somewhere along the lines of breaking even – not upside-down on loans, but not ahead either. And I’m a similar age and in the Midwest.

          So you are doing fine. Good for you.

          • I hope it doesn’t seem like piling on, but an honest question about what kind of info the OP is looking for. Because the state of one’s finances depends so much on goals and needs that just straight numbers don’t really do anything. There is no objective “right” answer – it’s just data. You can only interpret it when you ask a question.

            I guess I’ve seen posts about gauging salary expectations for different regions/industries and budgets for clothing (maybe rent) and a discussion of retirement planning/funding. For some reason, those discussions seem different than this one to me.

          • Carrie... :

            I agree. You are doing fine. Good for you!

            I disagree with your suggestion that many on this board are doing better than you. While this board is definitely a selected population, you are doing much better than the vast majority of Americans…. including successful, debt free Americans. And only a more select will even post in response to your question, skewing the data more.

            But in terms of how you are doing…. it all depends on what your goals are. With that income, no debt, renting (in a assume a reasonable cost of living city since you are in the Midwest), you could even be a bit more aggressive with your saving/investing and think about retiring early. Is that something that you are interested in? If so, take a look at Mr. Money Mustache’s website.

            Or are you mostly feeling a pang of envy from looking at friends’ shiny new car/home/husband etc…? Remember, you never really know what is going on with other people’s finances, and you are doing well enough that I would hesitate to complain/worry to your friends if you don’t know their situation. Most people are not so fortunate to have had as good luck and decision making as you have had. But you should feel proud of your good choices too.

            One way to approach this topic with friends is to ask them what their goals are for retirement. This brings up these issues indirectly. Those who are comfortable talking about it will, and others wont. I would not do it in a group setting though.

            Remember – you are doing fine. But many are not.

    • Well it makes me uncomfortable, because my net worth is zero as long as I have student loan debt. You posting anonymously makes YOU less uncomfortable.

      I agree that friends should talk more about finances and financial decisions, but reading about people who I’ve never met doesn’t make me feel better.

      • +1

      • yeah, these threads just make my stomach flip and I try to hide them immediately lest I introduce yet more unpleasantness into my day #gladigraduatedinarecession #6.8%interestrate

      • SoCalAtty :

        Me. too. And it will continue to be so until I get them paid off, maybe in the next 5-8 years if I’m lucky. They are all under 5%, but ouch that hurts. I just keep telling myself that in 10 years, of maybe even 5, I’ll be right where I want to be financially if I keep doing what I’m doing, but it is hard to watch.

    • Well this feels like a humblebrag if I’ve ever seen one. Benchmarking against people makes no sense. I could post my answers and even if we had almost everything in common, you don’t get a sense of my lifestyle/financial commitments/etc.

      • +1.

      • +2

        In what world having $250k in net assets “not doing well”?

      • yup. these posts always drive me crazy because they make me feel bad, but your post literally goes “I feel bad because my friends are doing better than me, so Id like for you all to post so I can feel better about myself if you are doing worse”

      • In addition to one day celebrating (in a private way) paying off the student loans, I look forward to having a private “zero net worth” day celebration as well.

        • Hahahaha! +1

        • lucy stone :

          I only had this because I got married, but it was AWESOME. Student loan payoff day will be so much better though.

        • Anon for this :

          This my big surprise when I started using Mint. I would have guessed my networth was zero because of my loans and mortgage and stuff. I actually have a positive net worth of $15k when Mint takes into account my husband’s retirement, mine, the value of our cars, the value of our house (even though we have a big mortgage we did put some down payment and the house has appreciated some.) However, I think it is overvaluing my car so our networth is probably closer to $5000. Regardless, I wanted to have a freaking party when I saw the positive number. In my head I was just doing bank accounts minus loans and not really considering our possessions.

          • Anon for this. :

            This. I also had just been thinking in terms of debt versus money in the bank, but when we started using Mint, we were told we had a positive net worth. We have a mortgage and a car loan on one of our three cars, but the property values exceed the debt. And we have a student loan left, but our retirement savings cancels that out.

    • I talk about money with *some* friends. We don’t talk about our total financial picture but smaller pieces. For example, I discussed my plan to finance the down-payment on a new home with a line of credit on the existing home. We’ve also discussed 401K vs Roth. There are two friends with whom I will never discuss my finances (although they give great advice in other areas of my life). Both are very curious, and very judgy, about other people’s financial status and history.

    • Wildkitten :

      Negative $250,000

      Drops mic.

    • Anonymous :

      Not sure why everyone is acting like this is a humblebrag. I think it’s a valid question.

      Age: 29
      Net worth: About $300K between me & my husband. Only about $50K is liquid right now because we just put most of it into a house.
      Income: Our combined income is about $250K. I’m a BigLaw midlevel. He has a good, stable but not super high-paying job.
      Student Loan: None. I had about $25K from law school but paid them off. I was very lucky to get a huge scholarship and some family support.
      Own/rent: We just bought our first house but were renting until now.
      Region: Large Midwestern city.

      • Anonymous :

        Notice how the ones who don’t think it’s a humblebrag are the ones with six figure net worth and zero student loan debt.

        • +1000000. Not sure how or why friends need to know each other’s net worth, and I’m not sure whether knowing how you are faring in relation to random strangers in the Internet achieves anything except if you need a boost in confidence.

          TL; DR: You don’t have a problem so you don’t need to create one for the sake of discussion.

        • To be fair – she had student loan debt, but has since paid it off.

          • she had 17k. that’s a Honda civic, not a house, like some people have.

          • Wildkitten :

            She graduated with $17,000 in student loans and $20,000 in family money.

      • Anonymous :

        Why is knowing other people’s net worth is a valid questions? What value does knowing this information provide?

      • Valid question?? Why? Let’s discuss the meaning of “valid” here. It’s not a valid study- ie, controlled for random variables. If you’re meaning “valid” to mean permissible, well sure, the question is not totally impermissible– she’s allowed to ask such a question, but what actual information will she glean? Every person on this site has a different financial picture. What possible benefit is it to know that a 28 year old has 100k in assets, while you have more? What is the benefit in knowing that a 27 year old has 500k?

        Here’s mine: 27, -60k because student loans. Homeownership not in foreseeable future. Literally none of the information I’m reading here is helpful, useful, or in any way informative.

        • la vie en bleu :

          Wow, Really? Calm the eff down. Discussions here of clothes for petite women, or running tips are in no way helpful or useful to me, but I don’t need to jump on people for asking. It was just a question.

          • Yes, really. Dude, you calm the F down. Literally nothing I said was out of line. What the h3ll is your problem? You are choosing to read tone into my post that isn’t there. My post was actually quite similar to what a lot of other people were posting at the same time, and you don’t feel the need to chastise them, do you? Why?

            Everyone’s point is that this post is not only unlikely to yield useful information, but also can be hurtful to people. How are running tips hurtful to you?

          • la vie en bleu :

            “hurtful”? “hurtful” to hear that some people have money and you don’t? um….

        • siliconvalleytechlawyer :


          While I will discuss strategies and issues with friends, I will not go into financial details. I’ve found that everyone’s priorities are different and that if have more, the other person feels terrible, and if you have less, you feel bad.

          It’s easy to get caught up in what you do or don’t have compared to others. When someone talks enviously of someone’s new Tesla or expensive new house and suggests they must be doing really well and make more money, I always say that you don’t know what the rest of their finances look like. They could be deep in debt, have put nothing away for their kids college education, and are struggling to pay a huge mortgage.

          There will always be people with more and less than you do. The important thing is to focus on your goals and implement strategies for getting there. I recommend a good financial planner as a much better way to gauge how you are doing. It will help you articulate your goals and whether you are achieving them and the financial advice you will get will be much better than from a random sampling of friends who may or may not have the same goals or know anything about how to achieve them.

      • Anon at 4:01 :

        Well sure, perhaps saying she’s not doing that well with 250K saved is a humblebrag, but I think it’s interesting to know how much people have managed to save on different incomes, with different debt amounts and in different parts of the country. There have been similar threads here before. That’s all I meant by it’s a valid question.

    • Hi, all,

      I was surprised at some of the responses to my post. I honestly did not mean to hurt anyone’s feelings or humblebrag. I mean, I don’t even own property. And I’m not in biglaw with amazing salaries like many of you. Nor am I in a double-income household or have a master’s degree the way many of you do. I didn’t think what I was posting would come off the way some of you have taken it. I certainly didn’t think that it was particularly impressive. I was just stating some facts about my situation.

      Anyway, I apologize for a post that was meant in earnest but clearly came off as tone-deaf. I genuinely just wanted to start a conversation about this stuff that I can’t talk about in real life. I will be more careful in the future.


      • Anon4this :

        Eh, it’s the internet. People get jumped on all the time. Ask me how I know. Try not to take it personally.

        My net worth is negative as a result of student loans. I own an house though, which is cool. I have a little socked away for retirement, and am working on increasing that. I think I understand why you asked, and I also don’t generally talk about money with my friends other than in a, man do we have to watch our spending this month, kind of way. None of us are wealthy, although we are friends with one couple where the wife is able to be a stay-at-home mom, which is cool for them. Otherwise, we all work and have debt (and, if I had to guess, most of us have a neg net worth) and choose to allocate our money in different ways.

      • Carrie... :

        Remember, most people your age do not “own” property. They are in debt, paying off their house while paying thousands of dollars in extra interest or 20 to 30 years. People your age who actually have already paid of their homes tend to have much less liquid income that you. Or they are very well off and/or Mr. Money Mustache young geniuses. And in those situations, they should probably keep quiet about their good fortunate, as they are on the tail end of the bell curve…

        And honestly, as I have posted before, owning property is not always a wise financial decision. Sounds like you are saving a good chunk of $$ potentially by renting, not paying for house maintenance or rising property taxes. And by investing that for the long term and maintaining housing flexibility as a single you can often make job/lifestyle decisions that are not options for couples.

      • Sydney Bristow :

        I think it sounds like you are doing great and took your attempt at a discussion just fine. There have been similar discussions here before. I would respond to all your stuff, but I really do have a hugely negative net worth because of my student loans so the rest of them don’t really matter.

      • Bewitched :

        I’m sorry that people jumped on you, OP. I’ve seen this same question asked many times on this site, usually with quite a few responses. Maybe Tax Day is making everyone reluctant to chime in? I found the past question/answers very informative, if only from the standpoint that some people are able to save TONS of money on relatively modest salaries. It gave me more initiative to cut down on some of my own frivolous spending and try to save more.

      • Senior Attorney :

        I think it would be beneficial for you to understand just how spectacularly well you are doing, with a big assist from gifts from your family that allowed you to get an education with no debt. Many of us spend our time surrounded by people of similar or greater means and don’t have any real idea how much better off we are than the vast majority of the people in this country.

        And on a related note, I read this article this morning about the racial wealth gap in this country, and it kind of broke my heart:

        • Thank you for sharing, SA.

          Many middle-class minorities have poor, struggling parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, nieces, nephews, in-laws, etc. If these individuals have some sense of filial piety, they are likely to give money to needy relatives to the detriment of their own net worth. These challenges in building net worth means that their children are less likely to receive help, or as much help, with college tuition, assistance with a down payment, and more. Too often the ratio of needy relatives and relatives who can afford to help is skewed, which stretches some people way too thin, financially and emotionally.

          A salary is only one factor in a person’s net worth, as circumstances vary widely.

          • Another Anon :

            I totally agree with what you said. I have seen it first hand with my husband. I come from a reasonably well off family where no one needs money from any other relative. However, my husband ‘s family is not like that. He needs to take care of his parents’ expenses other than housing cost (they own their home). Sometimes he needs to help out his brother who is trying to establish himself in a business. What he can save is much less than what he could have saved without all these commitments.

          • SoCalAtty :

            Totally agree. Despite it being a huge detriment to my own finances, I paid a huge amount of money supporting my mom and brother up until about the end of my 2nd or 3rd year as an attorney. It was stupid, I shouldn’t have done it, but it is hard to get the phone calls from little brother telling me there is no more food in the house, or the heat got shut off while they were living in Alaska. I’m probably 5 years behind now where I should be…but it is what it is.

      • Here, I’ll give you some data that will make you feel better about yourself because, why not, and I really appreciated all of my fellow poors (*used in jest since I am definitely aware that in comparison with the vast majority of the world I/we are far far far away from poor) who posted in the last iteration of this thread that I saw.

        Net worth: roughly $21,000 (~$5k in retirement account, the rest sitting around in savings accounts; I actually posted below about starting to invest)
        Liquid assets: ~$4,700 (I consider my nest egg for the house non-money, although I guess if the zombie apocalypse started tomorrow I could use it)
        How old are you: 26, shortly to be 27
        What is your salary: $35k (I work in higher education, where employers make it rain on a regular basis. if by “make it rain” you mean “freeze salaries and never give raises.”)
        Do you have student loans: nope, thank God. I went in-state for undergrad; a combination of scholarships, work, and parents paid the full freight. I also did in-state for my Masters. I had AmeriCorps money from my first job out of college that covered about half, plus some money saved, plus I lived at home for $0/month (and a commensurate reduction in fun), plus another family member kicked in a few thousand. I am very lucky to have a 1) generous, financially stable family that could help me, and 2) live in a state with an excellent flagship, but I also lived at home for grad school and went with the cheap option for both of my degrees.
        Do you own or rent: I live in my high school bedroom for $400/month, still minus fun, plus a longish commute and occasional groceries. Rents where I live would be minimum $600 a month for someplace moderately non-sh*thole-y or undergrad-riddled.
        Where do you live: Small city in the Mid-Atlantic
        Any other details: I get incredibly depressed at money little money educators make on a regular basis, but I love my field. I am also beyond ready to move out of my parents’ house, but at $35,000 a year and the eventual desire to retire and buy a house at some point in my life, it’s what I’m doing for now.

      • I am late to the party. I think people are sensitive to these issue’s. I do NOT even know what some of those thing’s are b/c my dad take’s care of it for me, and he just leave’s me to be a lawyer. I think that if I wanted to be a finance person, I would have GOTTEN my MBA. Right now, I have a JD and am a law firm partner, and DAD bought my COOP for me and is paying all my bill’s for me. If he could he would get MARRIED for me, but he know’s that I will NOT marry any looser he show’s me. I need a guy who will respect me for my MIND, not my body. Most guy’s just ooogle me and do NOT care what I think.

        With the election’s comeing up, I am hopeing that the HIVE can engage in meaningful discussion’s on political issue’s, b/c Grandma Trudy think’s that I am as smart as Savanah Guthrie, who is ALSO a lawyer, but she think’s I am even cuter! She is probabley exagereating b/c she is my Grandma, but others have said that I would make a great politiceal correspondent on TV if I ever decide to give up my legal practice. Are there others in the HIVE that like to talk politic’s? Does anyone think that O’Bama will run for Senator again? I think he could move to Chapaqua and swap home’s with the Clinton’s place, but he could also do other thing’s. I also need to learn more about Marco Rubbio and Ran Paul and the Other Bush. I am a long way from figuring out who is goieng to be the next President, so maybe the HIVE can help! YAY!!!!

        • Ellen, I’d pay BIG MONEY to see you face off on Fox with Sarah Palin. BIG MONEY.

    • Wildkitten :

      If you graduated with $20,000 in savings you could have done a “fancy unpaid internship.” $20,000 is enough to live for a semester (or two! or three!) in any city in the world.

    • Anon for Financial Questions :

      I’m surprised by the response to this question. I agree that it would be helpful to be able to more freely discuss financial information with friends. Not in the sense of running up to someone and demanding to know their net worth or salary or outstanding debt, but just in terms of normal discussions that could lead to sharing of more details. When talking with people outside the internet, financial topics do seem to have this strong taboo off-limits feel in a way that other subjects don’t. To compare it to discussions of sex, I wouldn’t go up to my friends and start questioning them about the identities of their past sexual partners or what they’ve tried in bed, but the sharing of that type of information within appropriate relevant conversations does not seem to be as strongly off-limits as financial topics.

      Net Worth? $15,000
      Liquid assets? $6,000
      How old are you? 37
      What is your salary? $65,000
      Do you have student loans? yes, from law school
      Do you own or rent? own
      Where do you live (region)? midwest
      Any other details you want to share?
      My net worth only changed from negative to positive in the past year, and I was very excited when I realized it. It’s the result of a long time of plodding slowly along with debt re-payment, combined with recent more zealous saving and investing.
      Are you happy with where you are?
      I’m happy with the progress I’ve made since becoming more financial aware and starting to plan longer term.

    • “I just try to stick to my savings and investing goals and hope for the best. I also know some friends are knee-deep in debt, so this is probably the last thing they’re thinking about.”

      Yeah, someone who is knee deep in debt is definitely not thinking about their net worth/savings goals/ investing goals. /sarc.

    • Totally surprised at the responses to what I thought was an interesting and legitimate set of questions. I love talking about this on the internet – OP, check out the vanguard diehards discussion boards (especially if you want to feel really bad/get motivated to keep on track! But you are doing great; keep it up!). I have a few friends with whom we talk about lifestyle decisions related to financial management, but no one with whom we share net worth.

      I will share because I am honestly proud of the decisions my husband and I have made to live below our means, and mostly because I found these kinds of threads really helpful as I was starting my saving/investing/making money life.

      Net Worth? $1.7 million
      Liquid assets? $200,000
      How old are you? 37; DH is mid-40s
      What is your salary? $90,000
      Do you have student loans? I did from undergrad but paid them off by living like a student within 5 years of graduation (30,000)
      Do you own or rent? own
      Where do you live (region)? small city west coast
      Any other details you want to share? Money has been a factor in every life decision I have made, in that I grew up poor and didn’t want to stay poor. I didn’t have any financial role models so I read diehards and the Motley Fool online, and the book Your Money or Your Life. After graduating from college I wanted to be free to do whatever I wanted with my life without worrying about having to make money or being in debt to anyone. I paid off my student loans in less than 5 years by living frugally in San Francisco and taking on extra work. I went to an awesome grad school that was fully funded and kept living frugally throughout to ensure I didn’t have to take out loans. I married someone with a similar outlook about money. We have a very comfortable lifestyle but with each “ratchet up” we consciously ask ourselves if it’s worth trading in our life energy for the money. We now have enough that a financial advisor told me we can stop saving so aggressively and start enjoying ourselves more.

      • Another Anon :

        Wow..Congratulations…I hope to be in your financial situation some day..

      • You are my personal finance idol. That’s amazing! Congrats.

      • Thanks. I forgot to mention that my husband has had a steady 120,000/yr income, while mine has gradually increased. That is important.

      • I have a similar financial situation as Random and can honestly say that I don’t have to think about money and what I spend it on. I always have additional money left over each money and make more money then I can spend – good issue to have, I know. However, the reason I’m commenting is that although I don’t have to think about what I spend, I do – every dollar. I can’t tell you how often I come on this website and my jaw just drops at the insane amount of money some of the clothes and shoes cost and how some people are willing to spend it. Everything I buy is under $10 ($20 is the max) and its good quality. I just plan and never impulse buy. I think its important to note that despite your financial situation it is important to save and spend on the things you need rather than the things you want. Ghandi (I think its him) said that there is enough riches in the this world for every person but all the riches in this world is not enough for one greedy person.

        • anon-oh-no :

          seriously? my jaw drops every time I hear someone say something like “everything I buy is under $10.” this is a freaking fashion blog. and some of us make enough money to spend it how we want, like on expensive shoes.

          • la vie en bleu :

            Fer realz.. also, too, I am extremely frugal and do a lot of thrifting, and I still almost never spend less than $10 on an item.. where are you shopping? 1976?

          • boston anon :

            Yea I don’t buy that at ALL. I plan out my fashion purchases and budget for them, but I will bet my entire fortune that you cannot fill a wardrobe with ‘good quality’ items for under $10 in this day and age. The entire point of this website is to indulge in that fashion fantasy in a sometimes work-appropriate and life-responsible way.

    • What is your net worth (total assets minus total liabilities, including consumer debt, 401k, equity, investments, etc.?)
      On a related note:
      Liquid assets?
      How old are you?
      What is your salary?
      Do you have student loans?
      Do you own or rent?
      Where do you live (region)?
      Any other details you want to share? Are you happy with where you are?
      I’ll start.
      Net worth: just over 450K
      Liquid: 130K (pure cash and easily liquidated funds). We are about to use a chunk on a new house though…
      Age: 31
      Salary: 140K + 30k bonus but last year it was $110/25 and the year before 95k/10k. DH is now $140k but was 115k and 85k in 2014 and 2013.
      Student loans: 2k (me, undergrad, 2%, down from 30k in 2006), $28k (dh, grad school MBA , down from 75k in 2012)
      Own/rent: own
      Region: Boston burbs
      Anything else: Self and DH paid our own way through grad school. I did mine part time, he had a 50% scholarship. 1 kid in ludCrisly overpriced daycare & another on the way.

    • I was naive and thought that I should have a bigger house and a better car for my salary. I mean, I was pretty sure that I made more than some of my friends and family so I couldn’t figure out how they made ends meet. Well, it seems that many people mortgaged their homes during the housing bubble. I had no idea! And, I have a co-worker who dresses better than anyone but she has deferred her loans for YEARS.

  8. Any suggestions for how to stay more focused at work? I’m working on a longer-form research/writing piece right now and honestly it’s hard to stay focused for 8+ hours a day. I’ve tried pomodoro but (1) the pomodoro app I downloaded chewed up phone battery and (2) I found the breaks often came right when I was in the zone. So then I’d say “oh, break time!” and go read this site or something, then have to take another 10 min to get back into the right mindset. But when I’m working, I get distracted by every little thing. While I’m reading, I read a word and think “oh, that makes me think of X” and I go look up X in Wikipedia, which takes me down the Wikipedia rabbit hole. Or I legitimately break off, to go find a cite or something, and then forget why I’m online and start linking through to other things, and another 20 min have gone by. Suggestions for how to stay on task better?

    • The StayFocusd extension on Chrome might help. You can limit how much time you are allowed on certain websites. Plus, it makes it really hard to break the limit for each day. If you legit need to reach a website you’ve previously blocked, you can open it in an incognito tab. But, don’t let that become a habit or you defeat the purpose.

      • Whoa, I had no idea this was a thing. Obviously not the OP, but thanks for the suggestion!

    • If you use Chrome, there’s a great chrome extension called StayFocusd and you can set time limits on websites you go to a lot where you aren’t productive (fb, thissite, wiki). Then once you’ve went on that site and used up your time, it’ll tell you to go back to work. I mean technically you could just turn it off, but I think it helps.

      I used to use this kind of thing at home on my personal laptop when I was in school. Nowadays, I often set time chunks and specific tasks for them, kind of like making a schedule like we used to do in undergrad for classes, but except this is for tasks. So, maybe 10 am – 12 pm task #1, and then set reasonable expectations for breaks and schedule them (12 – 1230 lunch, 1230-130 task #2, 130-145 break, etc), and set goals (must finish X by this time today, or this time tomorrow, etc.). Break up large tasks into smaller chunks (finish part 1 of this project by X day).

      I also use todoist. I like checking boxes when I’ve done something (there’s some finality to it that’s nice haha) so I break up a large project into small chunks and put them into todoist, and when I’ve done them I check the box. The little karma thing is cute and makes you feel good about being productive!

      • Wildkitten :

        You can’t turn it off. If you make a change to your settings (like give yourself more time on this site) it waits 24 hours to kick in.

        • But I’m guessing it only works on Chrome, so you could open Firefox if you really wanted? (Not saying it wouldn’t be helpful because often if you need to go open something else up, you stop and think “oh, wait, not doing work”)

          • That is exactly what I did when leachblock for firefox came out.

          • yeah, you can still open things in Firefox or IE, but the extra step reminds me that I am off track. Beware that if your Chrome settings follow you across home and work, you’ll still have the same restrictions which may be an issue on days off work or whatever.

    • Someone on thissite suggested keeping a small notepad next to you while you work and when you are tempted to go look at something on the web or you think of something for your todo list, or you are otherwise tempted to wander off task, write it down.

      That trick has been a huge help for me — don’t know who suggested it originally but thank you!

      • Coach Laura :

        This hint – and the one below from anon at 6:14 – are great. I often work off computer for this reason.

    • Sometimes when I am trying to get a section of a brief drafted and cannot stay focused, I will work off the computer–so I print out research to read, sit down with a highlighter and pad of paper and work. I am much more productive that way. I don’t do it all the time, but just when I am really having a hard time staying focused and the usual breaks and stuff aren’t working.

  9. baby (maybe) investor :

    Going off this morning’s conversation about Vanguard index funds, which is timely for my life: I have in the vicinity of $11,500 parked in my savings account that is intended as the start of a down payment on a house, which I would plan to buy four or five years from now. I was thinking about a Vanguard LifeStrategy Income Fund ( It’s bonds-heavy (80%) with the rest made up in stocks, which lines up with my own independent research and the advice of a financial advisor since I don’t have an extended timeline.

    Basically…someone wise, please tell me if I’m doing this right or if I should be looking at another fund or funds. I have zero experience with investing but I don’t think my savings account is the right place for this money, since it only gets a rate of 0.9%. (Or am I totally wrong?)

    And can I also say a general THANK YOU to this group of women for being such a fantastic resource for money management.

    • Yes, sounds like you’re doing the right thing!

    • Former Partner, Now In-House :

      I wish that I had started investing (someone had told me to start investing) earlier in life. Saving was never an issue; I knew to do that and did it. But it just sat there, losing power, in savings accounts. Stupid. So I think it makes a lot of sense for you to start investing.

      I haven’t done any research recently that would be relevant to the question: “Where is the best place to invest money that I plan to use in 4-5 years.” So I am no help on specifics. Normally (see: my life before 2008), I would have suggested laddered CDs. Now that probably barely beats inflation. So maybe a mutual fund makes more sense.

      I have read a lot lately about index funds as opposed to actively managed funds. I think that is worth a good think.

    • 80% bonds seems very conservative to me, but I do understand the timeline issue. How big of a down payment are you expecting to make when the time comes? Will you be making additional contributions to the fund over the next few years? I would think about what number you want to see in the account in 2020 and then figure out what combination of investing and saving strategies will help you get there.

  10. Anonymous :

    I bought this skirt and I like it but I have no idea how to style it (not for the office, obviously, despite H&M’s categorization of it as officewear). Any ideas?

    • Are you looking for color or style suggestions? Color-wise, I’d do white, charcoal, cobalt, or blush. Style-wise I’d probably keep it simple with a scoop neck t shirt in one of those colors. Or a really fantastic, bold, paisley or floral. Ok maybe I need to buy this skirt.

      • Anonymous :

        Looking for style suggestions as opposed to color, mostly. But color suggestions welcome!

    • I like pale yellow with white and light gray for neutrals. If you are ready for the amount of pastel and/or prep, it also looks nice with a light blue (including chambray), navy, and lavender.

    • la vie en bleu :

      With a graphic tee and moto jacket for casual daytime hanging out. With a drapey tank with something sparkly for going out at night.

  11. What are people’s best/favorite motivators to exercise (or do any positive habit)? Someone the other day mentioned a sticker chart. I know some people like to tell friends to keep them accountable, some like to do it first thing in the morning, some like to buy pretty exercise clothes, while others make playlists. So I’m wondering, what are people’s favorite and best motivation tools to do a positive habit (like working out)?

    • siliconvalleytechlawyer :

      I block the time out on my calendar to make sure I get my exercise time in at lunch. It discourages other people from trying to schedule meetings during that time and the pop-up calendar reminder insures I get up and go on time. Otherwise, I tend to get involved in something and don’t see the clock.

      At home we have a chalkboard that we write the to-do’s on and whoever completes an item gets the pleasure of crossing it off. It’s been very helpful with our 7 year old son too who gets to put things on the list he wants to do and can see what things Mommy and Daddy do. It’s given him a new appreciation for all the things like laundry, etc. that need to get done to keep the house running.

    • The Charity Miles app. Every mile I run/walk a charity I pick from a list gets 25 cents. For every mile I bike they get 10 cents. One of my favorite charities is on there.

    • "Allergies" PSA :

      Since I was diagnosed with asthma and sinus-activated allergies, and I learned that running regularly keeps the mucus from accumulating and therefore keeps my symptoms in check, it is a LOT easier to get out of bed and go running while it is still dark outside.

      Other than that: another human being (paid or otherwise) who is waiting for you.

    • Killer Kitten Heels :

      Well, with the gym, I bought a two year membership up-front (meaning that if I don’t go, I’m out cash). For some reason, knowing that it’s already paid for makes it easier for me to make it a priority to go.

    • sign up for Class Pass. you get tons of fun classes, and if you late cancel or no-show, they charge you $15 or $20. So if you sign up for a morning class, you have a financial motivation to get out of bed (and there’s a 12-hour cancelation window so it makes it harder to succumb to last-minute laziness).

    • I run, so for me, it is signing up for a race, then remembering the last time I didn’t train for a half marathon, and how much it hurt during miles 11 and 12. That, and meeting up with friends to run.

    • Must be Tuesday :

      I love yoga and dance. I can’t wait to go to class because that’s fun for me. That’s my motivation to go. When I tried exercising for the purpose of exercising, it was harder to motivate myself. I don’t like running. Ellipticals and stair climbers are boring. Biking is ok when the weather is perfect, which is rare where I live. Weights are ok, but can get old. Figuring out something that I really enjoyed was a huge factor.

      Also, if I’m worried about being tired after work and blowing off class because it takes less effort put on pajamas and watch tv while drinking wine, I’ll register and pay for the class ahead of time, or purchase an unlimited week or month of class. I’m much less likely to skip class if there’s a financial incentive to not lose the already-paid fee or really get my money’s worth out of the unlimited pass.

    • Honestly? Getting a trainer once a week. I know I have to workout with him, and each month we write out a calendar of what workouts I’m going to do the rest of the week. I put the calendar on the back of my pantry door and cross off each workout after I do it. It keeps me accountable. The trainer was also paid for upfront, so if I bail on an appointment, I’ve lost money.

      I have to work out first thing in the morning, or else it won’t get done.

    • Working remotely so it is literally the only human interaction I have during the week? (kidding, sort of?)

      Mine is actually a combination of a few factors.
      1) Gym near other convenient for you locations. When I lived in one place, it was literally on my walk between my office and my house, so there was really no reason not to go if I had my stuff with me after work. Another time, it was between me and the grocery store or right near the higher end grocery store – if I need to go the store on Saturday, might as well go the gym first. If I had to get in my car and drive out of my way every time I had to go to the gym, it just wouldn’t happen.
      2) Money. If it’s expensive, I feel like I have to go. Having a trainer that I paid for and couldn’t cancel also helped get me in the habit.
      3) Making it part of your routine. Do you love Property Brothers? Then go to the gym to watch Property Brothers (not that’s me or anything…). What about your favorite podcast? Save it for your run. I once went to the gym because my TV wasn’t set up yet and I wanted to watch the Olympic Opening Ceremonies.
      4) Set attainable goals. Don’t plan to get every day – plan to go twice a week and good for you if you go more! Or plan to go for 20 minutes and if you stay because you want to see the reveal at the end of the HGTV episode, that’s great. Set yourself up for success.

      I was the most anti-exercise, anti-atheletic, anti-gym person for last last 27 years. And now I go 5 times a week, even on vacation. Eventually, it will become a habit, but make it easy for yourself to do.

    • Wildkitten :

      A personal trainer would be the best for me, but I also use pairing where I watch my favorite TV shows only at the gym.

    • Anonymous :

      Totally shallow and honest answer, seeing results. I know I should be concerned about my health, but looking sexy naked motivates me more than anything!

  12. anonymama :

    Shopping help? I am looking for a new small purse, that can fit a large-ish wallet (8″), sunglasses, phone, granola bar, chapstick etc., light-colored (tan or white? possibly pastel) over-the-shoulder, sleek, under $200. Kind of like this: but perhaps cuter, and over-the-shoulder? I like neutral and classic but not boring, but I can’t seem to find something that fits.

  13. Off topic but very important!!!
    Does anyone know how to find out when the New York Bar Admission ceremony dates are likely to be published for Aug-Sept 2015? We are planning to surprise our daughter by coming from Australia but obviously can’t tell her our idea yet.