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Today's reader mail is asking for an open thread discussing relaxation techniques… so let's discuss! What are your favorite ways to relax?
It would be fun to see an open thread discussing what readers do to relax/pamper themselves. I just bought the Discovery Channel “Planet Earth” series, for example, because it was on sale and helps me calm down before going to sleep.
Excellent topic! (And perhaps useful as it is also just in time for Mother's Day, for those of you who have difficult-to-buy-for mothers.)
{related: the best ways to relax after a stressful day}
For my own $.02, these are some of my favorite ways to relax:
- I find that exercise is absolutely essential to helping me unwind, even though I work out in the mornings. It just seems like if I go several days without exercising, I can't unwind at all.
- I love sitting with the hubs and talking about our days while listening to chill music and enjoying some wine. (I have a “Smart Playlist” in my iTunes library, and tag dinner-party-appropriate songs with the “genre” dinner.”)
- Also, shopping — physically, in stores — relaxes me. I think it has to do with it being a tactile experience, and not a terribly intellectual one: I like to walk around and touch the clothes, play with color combinations in my mind, and so forth. Buying isn't necessary!
- I love a good massage, also, if we're talking serious pampering, or — if budget or circumstances allow, a trip to a spa with a girlfriend for a series of spa treatments. (I've only done that twice, though — once to help a friend celebrate her 30th birthday in Sedona, and once for a semi-bachelorette party at Canyon Ranch in Las Vegas.)
Psst: some of our favorite home massage products include this reader-recommended back massager, this shoulder massager (similar), and this mini massage gun. Along similar lines, this $6 scalp massager is soothing, and these toe stretchers are actually better than most foot massage products.
This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
Reading before bed can be helpful, but I find it depends heavily on what I read — anything that has to do with an agenda on my “to do” list makes me anxious, and anything that's too “brain candy” like makes me want to stay awake and read it.
I'd love to learn more about meditation (sometimes I say the rosary, which is supposedly the Catholic form of meditation). At various points in my life I've also tried to get into habits like drinking Celestial Seasoning's “Sleepytime Tea” before bedtime, or putting L'Occitane's lavendar hand lotion on my hands before bedtime, just to give myself a Pavlovian cue that “it's time to relax and go to sleep.” Finally — I don't have a television in my bedroom, but if I'm stressed enough I will rewatch my favorite movie on my laptop or whatever.
2020 Update: Coloring books for adults are a great way to relax after a stressful day! These are some of our favorites (affiliate links):
Pictured: one/ two / three / four — also: recommended pencils & markers
Readers, what do you do to relax? How often do you have problems relaxing?
Stock photo update via Stencil. Originally pictured: Day 94, HNT Massage, originally uploaded to Flickr by lintmachine.)
Chris
I find myself most relaxed by nature, so I try to get outside every day for a walk. Even if that means reclassifying the garden strip of Park Ave. as “nature.” I also need alone time to relax, so I have a super secret Sunday morning coffee shop routine- no one knows where it is, where I am, or what I am doing.
lulu
Oh…I love super secret routines! And I am a huge fan of alone time. I might need to set up something similar for myself.
CFM
haha I know my roommate has a secret weekend morning routine, but I never ask what it is, I know its “me (her)” time
Houda
I love your secret coffee idea… I might do the same
L
That really is a brilliant idea. My husband and I are best friends, so we end up spending all our time together–but sometimes, I think it might be beneficial to have some (just) me time.
Cara
I try to get outside, even if it’s just on my terrace or slowing down on the walk to work, to feel the breeze, smell the air and feel the sun. It can have an instant calming effect on me.
Working out is also essential for me to stay feeling good, as is eating healthy. To really pamper myself though i go get a massage and watch some dumb TV or a non-intellectual book.
Delta Sierra
Man, if I had the money, I’d have a massage every. single. day.
Lady T
Completely agree on the food part. Eating healthy is essential but cooking is also a great part of it!
JSB
Great post! We were just discussing this very topic at work, since in my business we are heading into peak season. Shopping and a massage are always greats ways to relax but also can get pricey quickly. When I don’t have a ton of extra cash to spend a good pedi with a latte is a nice way to take a break too. Yoga also helps. I find on a daily basis, building a nightly routine is ideal for unwinding. For me, it’s taking the 10 minutes to wash my face and put on some lotion – I do this right before I’m ready to settle into bed. Then I sadly fall asleep to reruns of Family Guy.
Jane
Oh man, I always fall asleep to reruns of Family Guy! hulu.com is my nightly ritual.
SUCL 3L
I definitely agree with working out. Though I wouldn’t say it’s “relaxing” as much as it just releases tension (if that makes sense). Funny how studying for finals (last set of finals EVER) makes me want to go to the gym every. day.
I’m also a bit of a movie/TV junkie and I also crochet. So plop me down on the sofa for a good movie/show with my latest crocheting project (currently an afghan for a friend who’s getting married in the fall), and I’m a very happy camper.
Also I love cooking. Except for those rare nights when I crave pizza and wings, I feel much better and more relaxed if I can cook myself an actual meal.
Ames
Congrats on your last set of finals! I remember how good that felt :)
D
A short run and a long romp in the sack. Or vice versa.
A.
A long romp in the sack is a great stress reliever, definitely. :)
Lawgirl
Trouble is, I don’t feel “romantic” when I’m stressed. Complete opposite for my husband, and drives him cRaZy!!
divaliscious11
Me either! I am like I want to fall into a coma, because otherwise I will ba making mental to-do lists, which is a buzz kill!
A
In my current job, which I’ve had for two years, I frequently wake up in the middle of the night stressing out frantically about work. Usually about something very specific. It could be something that was on my mind the day before, or something that just works its way into my head in my sleep. Often I can’t get back to sleep when this happens — it just spins through my half-asleep mind. Does anyone else experience this and/or have any solutions?
Agreed about not being able to relax without hitting the gym regularly, but I usually do that. I also unwind almost every night by talking to my husband about the day over a glass of wine. (Though I guess, to be honest, most of that talking is ME recounting stressful events at work! Hmm.)
KLo
I used to do this ALL the time. And then I forced myself to stop thinking about it at a set time each night. I usually watch tv or look at blogs with cute puppies and pretty interiors, etc. after that point, as it just lets my mind empty. For me, it’s got to be a couple hours before bed, so clearly it doesn’t work on the days when you keep working into the wee hours. I’ve also heard talking it out/writing it down. But that makes me dwell. HTH!
D
This used to happen often to me too. I read somewhere that if it’s a specific issue that wakes you up, you should just get up and address it. This usually just means logging onto remote access to review a document, but once I actually drove a half hour into the office at 4 am. It isn’t ideal, but it certainly beats staying up all night worrying and then having to deal with it six hours later when you’re even more tired.
Delta Sierra
A: Mr Sierra gets this frequently. Falls asleep ok, but then what we call Busy Brain wakes him up, usually a math problem from work. Only thing that works is to get up and work on it. Sometimes only back to sleep at 3 a.m. No remedies, sorry.
A.
One of my friends keeps a digital voice recorder by her bed and when she wakes up with her mind racing, she’ll turn it on and talk about exactly what she wants to do about the issue in the morning, until she dumps it all out of her brain. Then she turns off the recorder and goes to sleep. Her husband is a heavy sleeper so this doesn’t wake him up. If your husband is not a light sleeper and this won’t drive him crazy, you could try it.
I have trouble sleeping sometimes when I worry about unsolveable things (what if someone in my family gets cancer, what if the stock market crashes again, what if what if what if). I have learned to do meditative breathing while trying to clear my mind, and reciting something over and over to myself (usually “don’t worry, it will be fine). It usually works.
Barring all of this, I highly recommend two caplets of Benadryl. :)
Eponine
I sometimes think of urgent things I’m worried I’ll forget immediately before falling asleep. I usually write them down on a pad of paper. I find that if I just try to go to sleep, I will get too worried about forgetting them and can’t sleep. Then, when I wake up in the morning, I can deal with them (or add them to my list for the day).
mm
I did this, too (i.e., would wake up in the middle of the night stressing about work–usually things I did not need to stress about), and resolved it by taking a very low dose of anti-anxiety medication under the supervision of a psychiatrist that I really trust. I don’t know if this would be the right choice for you, but could be something to consider.
a
This is so funny.. I was just telling a friend about my newly found relaxation before bed routine. I also have a really hard time shutting off my brain before I can sleep. Nature videos, for whatever reason, work wonders. I started with David Attenborough’s “Life of Birds.” Among the peaceful flapping, bird splashing, cute baby chicks, and soothing British voice, I can empty out all of my thoughts and actually get some rest. I thought I was the only one! :)
As far as my non-sleep relaxation, I find cooking and baking to be incredibly relaxing. And then I have something delicious to eat, too. Bonus.
Lucy
Nature videos, old disney movies & Carl Sagan narrating Cosmos have been my go to for years!
HAW
Knitting is my prozac on sticks especially with a good movie or book on tape.
Delta Sierra
Yes. Needlework of any kind, it seems the stress runs out the ends of my fingers and goes away.
Samantha
My latest de-stressors during the day are doing the 3 Neck Stretch (3 times back and forth, 3 times front to back, 3 times a day). I really feel tension release with that, and it helps keep my neck/shoulders relaxed.
At night, I like to watch an episode or two of The Golden Girls on TV (or Cheers, if I am up later), while relaxing. These shows kind of feel like ‘home’ to me in a way, as it reminds me of watching them with my family growing up. Sometimes I play a simple game on my iPod Touch as well, when I’m watching, like Super Collapse, Solitare or Sudoku. The repetitive actions in these games really helps me calm down and focus.
I also crochet, and that is nice to do in the evenings while watching some mindless TV if I’ve had a stressful day, or crocheting to mellow music.
I do splurge on massages every once and a while, typically at a beauty school (1 hour for $25 is a bargain!), and since I was getting frequent headaches, I’ve been seeing a chiropractor as well. Anything to release tension in my neck/shoulders helps me stay relaxed all day.
KF
Haha I do the same for the same reason w/ the Golden Girls & The Cosby Show! I feel carefree like when I was 8.
Erin
The massage therapist at my chiropractor told me about a great tip a couple of weeks ago that is working wonders for me!! Put two tennis balls in a sock and lay on top of it on the floor with the balls under your head. There’s a spot just at the top of neck/bottom of head that gets really tight and the pressure from the tennis balls releases it. You can use it on your bed if you want a little less pressure. Don’t stay there too long though!
Clerky
I love long walks in the park on a beautiful day. I also love facials. Reading every day before bedtime is an absolute must for me, even if it’s just O Magazine. :)
Working out is important for me, but I would never say that it was relaxing!
Lawgirl
Agree @Clerky. For me, the best part of working out is when it’s OVER. LOL.
Clerky
Amen.
Delta Sierra
Yup. I looooooathe exercise. But I go to the gym 3 times a week, or else I get down on myself, and really tense and depressed, which is worse than doing the exercise.
Shayna
Love to read before bed! I’m all about the trashy novel or paperback mystery to tak emy mind off of my life!
NYC
Gosh, another well timed post. I was just talking to the hubs about managing anxiety. We decided that managing anxiety and stress might be two different things. Stress seems more logical, and therefore more easy to release in a targeted, rational way (i.e. with a massage or workout). Anxiety — at least for me — seems to be harder to pin down and therefore harder to deal with. I’m reading a book on meditation and trying to get to more yoga classes. Xanax definitely works, but I would like to find a way to handle this without chemical intervention! Would love to hear other people’s suggestions!
Delta Sierra
NYC – I’ve wrestled all my life with free-floating (i.e., no apparent cause) anxiety and, before I started taking SSRIs, flat-out, full-bore anxiety attacks.
I do what I can to manage stressful aspects of my life, but I’ve come to believe that part of it is organic, physiological, unlucky brain chemistry, and can only be managed with meds. That’s what seems to be true for me, anyhow. I never go anywhere without Ativan, which for me is the best anxiety-buster, Xanax never worked for me. I dislike being reliant on drugs, but I make the analogy that if I were diabetic, I’d take my insulin and be glad I had something that helped.
Kay
Because I am a human ball of stress and tension, I spend a lot of time de-stressing. Enough exercise is important. Stretching before bed. Breathing exercises, especially if my mind is racing before bed. Try http://www.doasone.com if you’ve never done breathing exercises before. Generally, I find baking very relaxing, as well as walks outside, but I think it’s very individualized and different for everyone. Except for the wine, that one is universal.
LMo
This might sound silly, but I get a lot out of having a few plants and taking 30 minutes to water them/pick off dead leaves/retrain climbing branches. I grew up in the middle of nowhere with a huge garden you can do this even in a tiny apartment (or an office desk – C posted a Lifehacker article about office friendly plants not long back). I think it’s the feeling of nurturing and caring for something. I’ve actually gone to Home Depot before just to go walk around the garden section…it’s kind of like being in a park.
I worked for a solo practitioner attorney when I was in college. Once or twice he noticed I was having a particularly horrible day and sent me down the street to the garden store with some cash and instructions to bring back office plants. I’d calm down and I still think of him as the best boss ever.
Delta Sierra
Agree about gardening. It’s like needlework – a moving meditation. I can’t concentrate on regular meditation, but hand-hobbies I can do, slowly, meditatively.
cj
I 100% agree with this. I’ve planted some veggies and herbs this year, and every day I make a tour around to inspect all the changes–new pea pod poking out, another leaf on the squash plant, etc.–maybe it helps us reconnect with nature or something, but I can stare and be fascinated by my little garden for much longer than would seem reasonable, considering it’s mostly inanimate. My fiance is the same way; many mornings we actually go outside together and inspect the plants! (hope I’m not making us sound totally weird ;)
lulu
I wish I could do this but I am so busy that my plants always die. Last year I planted a container garden and didn’t harvest anything. :( FI won’t let me plant anything this year as a result.
Delta Sierra
cj: not weird at all. Or, if you are, we are too. Hubs and I take a tour around the garden every evening, point things out. Ooh, look, rosebuds! Hm, that whatsit isn’t looking too happy. Good way to wind down.
LMo
I recently moved and my happiest moment all week was seeing that my potted bougainvilleas (they had a really tough trip and lost a LOT of leaves) were starting to have new buds. So I can relate. :)
CL
That actually sounds kind of cute…like something you’ll be doing 50 years from now when you and your fiance are a cute old married couple. I like it.
Shayna
I just planted my first plants in my new house (moved last summer) – I did it was a great deal of trepidation since my track record has not been great with plant life, but I’m really enjoying watering them after work, and sitting on the deck and enjoying the butterflies that flock around the butterfly bushes.
Anonymous
I can’t really call what I do “gardening” but I also find it very calming to groom the plants in my office…
Amy
This post could not have come at a better time! I am having so much anxiety about work! It’s gotten really busy again (which makes me happy because it means I have a bit of job security) but I’m feeling totally overworked and overwhelmed. I just booked 4 days at Canyon Ranch and am so excited but I’m still anxious about being away while I’m there (and also feeling slightly guilty about the amount of money I’m spending to go there!).
I tend to do yoga once a week, exercise (run/spin/cardio kickbox) 4 times a week. I also find that breathing and journals help me with anxiety.
I live in NYC and find that most of us lawyers grapple with anxiety :-)
I really appreciate everyone’s tips!!
Delta Sierra
Amy – please can you write us something about your Canyon Ranch experience afterwards? I love the sound of those places, it sounds as though you can ditch everyday responsibilities and take a step outside your own reality. But they’re very expensive. I’d be interested to know if you find it was worth the $. Which one are you going to?
the other A
In March I stayed at the Canyon Ranch in Tuscon for five days, and it was just what I needed. They have many different things you can do there, like fitness classes, hikes, cooking classes, lectures on various things, traditional and alternative medical services, and counselling. They have healthy food there and also of course have all the spa services. For me it was worth the money, because I needed it so badly. I had been working for two and a half years as a trial lawyer during which I took almost no vacations and had gained 30 pounds, and was about to start a new, different, and more challenging assignment. At the ranch I spent all day going to fitness classes, and saw an exercise physiologist who determined my fitness level and target heart rate for interval training. I saw a therapist for stress management who gave me some good advice, attended lectures on healthy living, and got a couple of spa services. The setting was beautiful, and it helped that there was no alcohol served (there is at the Vegas location) and that you can only use your cell phone in only very limited areas. Since I returned I have made exercise and healthy living a priority and have continued to lose weight. My stay at the Ranch helped me reset my priorities. I think I might take a spa vacation like this once per year.
If you can’t truly leave your work behind for the time you are there, then I don’t think it would be worth the money to go. If you have the money and want to make a lifestyle change of some kind, then I think it can worth it.
Delta Sierra
Hm. Interesting. Their services sound well-thought-out. Thanks.
A.
– Exercise. For me, it works so much better for overall, everyday stress management than alcohol, food, shopping, or any other consumptive activity. If I don’t work out for a few days, I definitely feel it in my stress level.
– Watching movies with my husband, with a drink. My husband and I have always been able to spend time together without talking much and that definitely helps me de-stress.
– Sit in the grass in the park while my son plays. That is a great 20-minute de-stresser.
– Read a book in a quiet house. Unfortunately, the house is not quiet much.
– Serious stress usually warrants a spa visit. I love to steam and then get a massage or a facial (or both!).
A.
One other thing I thought of after reading other posts – YouTube in general is a great tool for midday de-stressing. There are certain clips that always make me laugh – skits from SNL or Chappelle’s Show, or South Park – and in the middle of a bad day, if I take a 10-minute break and watch some funny things on YouTube, the intensity level seems to get dialed back. Watching videos of my son when he was a baby on my home computer works too.
J
First, I love Corporette for loving Joe vs. the Volcano.
As for relaxation, I took a meditation class in college and was surprised at how many different methods of meditation there are – the key was finding which one(s) worked for you. To calm anxiety, I breathe in through my nose as much air as I can take, hold it for a few seconds, and then breathe out through my mouth until it feels like my lungs will collapse (and then a little more, because there is always more air in there). To fall asleep, I use a system where I focus on how my body is feeling; I start either at the top of my head or at my big toe and pay attention to how it feels and then move on to the next body part (i.e. the crown of my head, or my second toe). The key is to pay attention to only a very small area at one time. Focusing on each individually helps to relax that body part and keeps my mind off stressful topics.
D.O.G.
Dogs really area proven de-stressor. Walking my dogs or even just petting them always makes me feel better. When I wake up in the middle of the night feeling anxious, I think about dogs and it helps me get back to sleep. Might sound crazy — but it works and has been proven in studies!
RKS
On a related note: how do you manage to work a busy schedule and have a dog? I really want to get a dog, kids are begging … but I’m worried that us being out of the house 8-10 hrs per day is not going to work so well for the dog. Nanny is in the house and can let the dog out to pee … but she is not a huge animal person, so she won’t be hanging with the dog. And the pick-up/drop-off of doggie day care will not work in our already-hectic routines.
Delta Sierra
Good thinking – dogs are very sociable, and would be lonesome, unless you could manage two smallish ones together. Maybe a couple of cats? Again, they keep each other company. With modern flushable litter (World’s Best Cat Litter, actual name, it’s excellent) cleaning the litter box is easy. Shelters are full of nice animals needing good, life-long homes.
Shayna
Cats are a lot more independent that dogs from what I understand (I’m a dog person myself) — with the litterbox feature you don’t have to worry about getting home to walk them!
mille
My cats rip up paper when they are bored and home alone. Toilet paper, paper towels, cardboard boxes, paperwork left out…nothing is safe from a bored, chewy cat.
RKS
We currently have 2 cats — started with 4, now down to 2 (fostered a pregnant stray from a shelter 11+ years ago, kept her & kittens). They’re fine all day, generally are very chill cats who don’t interact much until evening (so very noctural). Even if I’m working from home, I rarely see them during the day.
Downside: these cats are older and chill, so they’re not into playing with the kids. Plus, the two remaining ones are “my” cats. When we had 4 cats, they all self-assigned a person. The two cats who loved the kids passed away, including one just a month ago. :-( “My” cats basically interact with only me; they are indifferent to husband and kids. A dog generally would be more interactive — walks, playing in yard, etc. Also, these particular cats would tolerate the addition of a dog better than another cat. We’ve had friends with dogs visit and they’re curious, but they get super-territorial if another cat comes anywhere near the house.
BTW, flushable litter only really works if you’re on sewer. We’re on septic/well, and it’s risky.
cj
It probably depends on the breed, but I can tell you my dog (lab mix) is perfectly content just sleeping away most of the day, and that includes when we’re home. I think animals perceive time much differently from us, and just the fact that you have to be gone during the day is not necessarily the same as leaving a human for such long stretches.
The key to pet ownership, in my opinion, is that you have to be able to carve out some quality time with your pet during the hours you ARE around. Meaning, morning walk, walk/training when you get home, weekend hikes or dog park, etc.
Mel
Do you exercise in the morning? I have a big dog (they tend to be more lazy during the day) and if he gets a long walk in the morning he’d lie around the rest of the day perfectly content. Maybe look into adopting an adult dog…you won’t need to worry about potty training and will be able to have a better idea about the dog’s personalty.
Shayna
I have a dachshund hybrid (The vet thinks she may have some Chihuahua in her) and grew up with dachshunds — they are a great breed because they are small enough to get most of their exercise from running around in the house (good for bad weather days), sleep in (you’ll be ready to get up on a Saturday before they are), and are great watch dogs (you’ll know if someone tries to break in!)
eem
Definitely depends on the breed, but my dog is super, super lazy, and so long as I give him a decent walk/run in the morning, he will sleep all day. After our walk, his routine is basically: Take 4 hour nap; get up and look out window and bark at a squirrel or rabbit; take another 4 hour nap, because all that looking out the window and barking was really exhausting.
It also helps that my husband and I have staggered schedules, i.e., he leaves much earlier than I do and gets home much earlier than I do.
I agree with whoever said that a puppy would be more difficult. Puppies need to go out every few hours, so you would have to have your nanny take the dog out or get a dog walker. And even after they are able to hold it for a while, they still have a lot more energy than a 4-5 year old dog.
guest
I wholeheartedly agree with the suggestion to adopt an adult dog. My husband and I (lawyers) adopted a mutt in NYC who was about a year and a half old. She continues to amaze us, and we’ve had her 5 years! Of course there was the initial training period, but there’s no comparison to adopting a dog who already knows to go to the bathroom outside, is used to crates, etc. She’s a pit mix (so fairly high energy) but so well behaved (originally in a tiny NY apartment and now in townhouse in different city).
She stays alone for 8-10 hours a day (except my husband comes home to let her out at lunch time) without a problem. We make sure to take her for long walks in morning and night (25-30 minutes each time) and she’s fine. I’d say her energy noticeably dropped when she hit 2 1/2 – 3 years.
About a year ago we adopted a puppy to keep her company — biggest mistake ever! Of course we’ll never get rid of the pup, but it was a nightmare trying to house train her, crate train her, etc, with busy schedules.
I also second the comment about dogs being relaxing. Even when I am super stressed, walking the dogs and just petting them for a bit really helps me calm down and pay attention to another living being.
Delta Sierra
Watch out for terrier breeds, they can be very busy dogs. As in, if they’re bored around the house, they’ll find things to do that you won’t like. I’ve seen border collies herd children in a playground, no lie. Shelter/rescue people will usually give you good info on suitable animals, and they tend to tell the truth, since they don’t want the poor animal back again in a couple of months if they were a poor match for you. Also, talk to a vet, they often have leads on animals needing homes.
EN
I have a Boston Terrier who is the absolute laziest dog I have ever seen. She sleeps until 10 or 11 if allowed, goes out to do her business and *maybe* takes a walk (if the temperature suits her), goes back inside and sleeps on couch/chair/bed/etc for a number of hours, goes out again usually around 9 or 10 and then falls asleep before we do. She will get energy to play if you bring out her favorite toy and she does love a rawhide to chew, but she is quite happy to snuggle on your lap for hours at a time. She also almost never barks. Basically, she is a low maintenance miracle and she has saved my sanity throughout law school. I know other people with Bostons and they concur. Just had to put a plug in for my particular terrier!
Eponine
My parents’ border collie will try to herd their CATS. No joke.
Delta Sierra
It might not be a joke, but it’s hilarious, I can just picture it.
Eponine
If you really want a dog, research breeds well to find a breed that is ok being home alone and is low energy. But be prepared that you will end up doing most of the work for the dog. A pair of dogs might be better, as they’ll at least play with each other and make less demand for attention for you. If your family likes cats, two kittens might be a better bet. Cats are fine home alone all day, and can happily be indoor-only pets.
Delta Sierra
Quite right about researching breeds. For a while I lusted terribly after a Dalmatian, because they’re so pretty, but I kept hearing about how hyper they are, which is not for me.
mille
I adopted my dog when he was 11 years old. He is healthy and active and loves to play, but can sleep all day if nothing else is going on. Right now he is alone about 4 hours a day. Give him a few treats to find and a soft bed, and he is fine.
A puppy is way too hard when you are gone 10 hours a day and it wouldn’t be fair to your nanny to make her train a puppy if she isn’t an animal person. Older dogs, even 2 or 3 years old, are much easier if you adopt the right one. The humane society people will be able to help you with personalities and problems of each dog.
Delta Sierra
mille: good for you about the older dog. Everyone’s all puppy-puppy-puppy and kitten-kitten-kitten, but there are lots of nice quiet mature creatures needing homes.
RKS
Thanks everyone. As noted above — we already have cats. And we are only thinking adult dog; a puppy would be too much. Plus, many shelters won’t adopt puppies to families with young children. Since our youngest is 4, it’s off the table. And shelter is the way we’re most likely to go. We fostered cats for a while, so I believe strongly in looking to shelters/rescues first.
I am thinking bigger dog — both for energy levels and general personal preference. We also have a lot of space (2 acre yard, partially fenced), so room to run isn’t an issue for us. The time issue is the biggest, followed by ability to get along with kids and cats. I’ve been doing breed research and am heavily inclined towards a yellow or black lab or lab mix. Would love a Newfoundland (maybe Newfie mix) but the hair is a major concern, as is the heat of DC. Met a lovely 5 yo Tibetan Mastiff at a shelter 2 weeks ago but he’s already gone through 3 homes so that concerns me. :-( Plus, the hair. Wow, the hair. Husband had a boxer then Great Dane growing up, so that’s where his heart lies.
Delta Sierra
Weimaraner? Some of the males are a fair size. The ones I’ve met have been such charming goofs. Breed rescue societies do such good work.
Eponine
Make sure you introduce the dog to the cats before you adopt him or her. Some dogs (and this doesn’t seem to be based on breed in my lifelong experience living with both cats and dogs) will chase cats and nothing you can do can make them stop. You need to introduce them before committing to adopt the dog.
anon2
don’t get a lab! every lab I’ve met is N-U-T-S. they are so full of energy that it’s practically obnoxious. Definitely research more sedate large breeds.
s in Chicago
I totally agree! Nothing beats a good snuggle on the couch with my dog.
Honestly, just looking at those sweet eyes somehow makes everything seem right. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been on a call at night or a day off dealing with some mess or the other, and I’ll suddently catch myself looking down at him smiling. Instant calm.
Delta Sierra
I read somewhere that your blood pressure actually, measurably, goes down when you cuddle your pet.
Shayna
I agree! I was going to post this as well :-)
I adopted my dog last summer, and spending the time walking with her after work, playing, training her (she rolls over and plays dead when I say ‘audit’… yep, I’m a tax chick), and just sitting on the couch petting her while watching TV is really relaxing. I also joined a couple dog social groups (go to meetup.com) and have met other people as a result…
When I get home from work she’s always happy to see me – and always ready to listen to me – an excellent roommate!
Chicago K
Ha, love the audit command!
kandi
LOL, I also want to roll over and play dead when I hear the word Audit! So cute.
L
Yes, my dog (and my cat) relieve stress like nothing else! And it’s true–they reduce your blood pressure more than any other living creature–kids, spouse, etc.
I’ve got a standard poodle (no fancy haircut–people think she’s a labradoodle). Poodle’s are super-smart, very owner-focused–so training her was a breeze. But, they have a lot of energy–not the destructive-when-I’m-home-alone-type energy, but the exercise me! exercise me! exercise me! energy, which is actually great for me, b/c she is the most consistent, dedicated, and motivating running buddy I’ve every had. She goes on my morning 3 mile runs and my long run on the weekend as long as it’s shorter than 8 miles. And each time she hears my watch beep (signaling the start of the run), she starts leaping and bounding in the air. It’s truly adorable. Just picturing it makes me less stressed. Can you tell I’m in love with her?
cathy
I prefer The ‘Burbs.
And, for relaxing, I highly recommend finding a Martial Arts type class – you would want to look around a bit and find the class that best fits your personality. In addition to learning a new way to stay fit, and probably some breathing/relaxation techniques, you make new friends – who have nothing to do with your work, or the other things in your life that stress you out (such as drama amongst your group of friends/family).
I joined a Kung Fu club for meaningful exercise – but I get a lot more out of it than that.
anon2
yes. people should try krav maga!
leibniz
Weirdly enough, playing tetris really relaxes my brain.
I’ve also been trying (limited success so far) to limit “screen time” in the hour or so before going to sleep – Lifehacker had a link recently about how the brightness of a laptop screen, especially close to your face as opposed to a TV on the wall, tricks your brain into thinking it’s not nighttime or time to settle down for the night. Not really relaxation, but could give you a better night’s sleep and ameliorate stress that way! :)
JH
What works for me is brick breaker on my blackberry and bubble baths…but not necessarily at the same time!
AC
weekly massage, wine, and xanax (not at the same time!)..
RAC
Xanax, wine, massage….at the same time :)
Bookie
I swear by the reading before bed. I have to get away from the computer/TV screens and let my brain and eyes calm down before I can sleep because I find the flashing screens and lights very stimulating. Plus, I really need a break after all day at the computer and it gives me just a little “me” time that I rarely can fit in at other times during the day. Like C said above, it has to be something non-work related but not such a great read that I get sucked in and have to stay up all night to finish it.
Magazines like O or Shape/Self are great. I subscribe and then just read a few pages at night before going to sleep. It turns my brain off and gives me something besides the stressful things that happened during the day to think about while drifting off.
For books, I have found that biographies are perfect for reading a bit at a time because they are interesting but not really “page turner” exciting. I prefer autobiographies because I feel like I’m getting the closest to the real story as possible, and it’s really easy to read for just 10-20 minutes before sleeping. Plus, while I’m drifting off I usually think about the person I’m reading about and what kinds of things were happening in their life and what they were thinking about them, etc., instead of what is stressing me out.
Right now I’m reading the Autobiography of Eleanor Roosevelt. Previously I have also really enjoyed Madeleine Albright’s memoirs, Madam Secretary, and Nelson Mandela’s autobiography, Long Walk to Freedom. Hmm, maybe a post on good books…?
Delta Sierra
Since we’re all overachieving chicks here, maybe you’d enjoy
Another Day in the Frontal Lobe: A Brain Surgeon Exposes Life on the Inside, by Katrina Firlik. Fascinating.
A
What to do when husband wants the light off and can’t sleep if the light on my side is on because I am reading?
Anon
Go flop on the couch to read and go back to bed when you’re sleepy enough to crawl in beside him and fall asleep. Works for us.
Delta Sierra
Maybe one of those little book lights that clips to the book.
RR
Buy a book light?
Anon
A post on good books would be awesome!!!! For me, few things are as relaxing as a good book! However, if I get really into the story, I sometimes find myself staying up late to keep reading, which doesn’t really help the whole relaxing situation…
Shayna
I like to read before going to sleep at night, and I love my dog for the stress relief she provides. She herself is adorable, always happy to see me, an excellent listener (no interruptions!), and playful. Additional stress relief comes from the walks I take with her, the time spent with other friends with dogs (yes, I joined a dog group… don’t knock it til you try it! I found mine at meetup.com), and training her (she rolls over and plays dead when I say ‘audit’, dances when I say ‘refund’… true tax accountant’s dog!)
Shayna
Oh, and I also play the piano… any other amateur musicians here? I’ve been playing since I was four and while I’ll never play Carnegie Hall, sight reading pop music mellows me out :-)
(And as the only one still playing out of three kids who took piano lessons, gives me dibs on my parents’ baby grand when they – eventually – move!)
Midori
I want a piano! But there’s not room in my house for one right now. I stick to the French horn that I’ve managed to play in orchestras all the way through law school to keep me sane. I need to find a local group here to play with. Nothing relaxes quite like being in the middle of the fourth row of a Beethoven symphony!
celia
I miss my piano so much! I almost got my degree in music instead of taking the pre-law route, and weirdly enough, when I’m studying I find I wish I had a piano just to play scales on so as to give my brain a rest and center myself. My apartment here (I’m a law student) is just too small and the walls are too thin to have one, though. But I am currently researching getting an electric piano that takes up a lot less space and can be played with headphones so as not to torment my neighbors. Not quite as good as the real thing, but with some help from my summer clerkship salary and my mom, it’s gonna be my birthday present this year. If anyone has had some success with a particular model, I’d love to hear about your experience!
Anonymous
I am all about light reading. When I was younger I always thought that when I was a grown-up with disposable income I’d subscribe to every magazine under the sun. Now, I am and and I do, and I read People, O, Vanity Fair, whatever . . . I also read memoirs and essays, which require attention for a shorter span of time than a novel.
I like to indulge in facials and massages, but for husband-financial reasons that is never more than once every couple of months.
I have a hard time sleeping – I also do the wake-up-and-strees-out thing. I used to take Ambien, but ran out and can’t bring myself to go back to the doctor and ask for it again.
PJB
My chocolate lab, presently snoring next to me in bed. Mr. PJB will come to bed later.
Crime, mystery, thriller, and detective novels: at least one per week.
Talking to and seeing and being with my teenage son, loving that I am the only attorney I know whose child is an employed and happy construction worker.
Reading this and other familiar and supportive blogs.
Ambien. Every night. After years of struggling with profound inability to fall asleep or stay asleep, my doctor gave up. This lady gets ambien every night and it is sweet to know I can and will sleep. (We trial lawyers want to control everything.)
Margin Fades
Here’s my super-secret way to relax while at work: one of the floors in our building is dedicated to large conference rooms, with a large open foyer covering approximately a third. I’ll go there to meditate (or just shut my eyes and listen to some calming music on my iPod) for about 15-20 minutes – about the amount of time my manager is away for a smoke break. I love this hideout because even if there are a lot of meetings in progress, I have my little oasis of calm – the armchairs in the foyer are large enough to hide me if I’m seated cross-legged on the floor, the picture windows offer a great view (especially of sunrises) – and earplugs drown out all the noise.
Sara
echo what everyone else says, especially about animals. i don’t have a dog but often (seriously) google puppy pictures to calm down. my husband laughs hard, but it really works. and taking a walk to see/pet other people’s dogs (i live in a downtown area).
i do have parakeets and a hamster, and loving them helps a lot too (though way less time commitment then dogs). the hamster is so, so cute and sweet and we take her out every night for a few minutes and she truly brightens our day. soft, fuzzy and loves us. even my husband adores her. i adopted her from the shelter.
been reading up on anxiety techniques, and none of those breathing/muscle exercises seem to work. what does work for me: salsa dancing. i go to non-sleazy social places 1 or 2 times a week and what it does for my head is amazing. i feel like a different person in many ways. also you meet people there who have nothing to do with lawyer life, which is healthy. but the pure aerobic- sweaty, head to toe- and tropical feelings are what help the most.
i sometimes play piano like the person above- another good idea. also i admit- i like stupid tv shows. they take the brain to another place which helps me let go of daily stuff.
it is tough to get to sleep though when you can’t relax. i’ve tried all the recommended tricks and this is still a challenge.
Delta Sierra
Agree about dancing. I’ve read about dance halls from the 30s, perfectly respectable places to go when you just want to dance. Really wish they would come back. Can’t hardly even find a restaurant with a dance floor anymore, and bars are just not for me.
LMo
I’ve gotten into line dancing recently for that exact reason. The people are happy to teach you and it’s a great, fun workout and gets me out of the normal routine without feeling like I’m getting picked up on (including awesome old men who like to teach two step).
Also I keep meaning to check out a place near me (I live in LA) that has free salsa and tango lessons.
LMo
I google puppy pics too! Dailypuppy gets a gross amount of hits from my computer.
cj
Oh boy, thanks for introducing me to my new biggest time-waster!
CFM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHAshi4vdbg
always destresses me!
cj
Just played it and my dog ran right up to the computer screen, ears perked up, and was staring at it very perplexed! Love it when dogs cock their heads sideways & raise their eyebrows as if they are really pondering what is going on. I’m so off-topic by now, but, hee hee dogs are cute!
Midori
cuteoverload.com
A Different Liz
I read before bed, but only non-fiction or a book that won’t stress me out whatsoever, such as Pride and Prejudice or Emma. I have an interest in Egyptology and find books on that topic perfect for reading in bed.
My go-to movie for when I’m stressed and don’t want to read is Pride and Prejudice (either the BBC or Keira Knightley version).
In addition, I work out four to five times a week to keep the stress level down, and I listen to audiobooks during my commute.
Delta Sierra
I re-read old favourites at bedtime, or keep a few novels handy that I don’t really like that much but help lull me to sleep.
Eponine
Kitty snuggles! I love coming home to my soft little friends who are happy to see me. If I can’t sleep at night I pick up my cat and snuggle her and her purring puts me to sleep.
I also like a short nonfat cappucino in the afternoon, and I drink lots of water to cut down on stress headaches.
lawyerette-to-be
I have really intense anxiety (like some of you have said, it is the general-I-can’t-pin-down-why-I-am-anxious-kind not the oh-crap-that-doc-I-sent-out-had-2009-instead-of-2010-on-it) but the twist is (and maybe someone else has already posted about this and I didn’t see) that it only comes at night. I think the reason is during the day I can DO SOMETHING about anxiety or at least ignore it; I can accomplish things; check things off my to do list. But at night, it all comes crashing in on me like one big anxiety wave. My best trick so far is not letting myself go to sleep until I am brain-dead-exhausted, but there are two things wrong with this: 1) when I do this I often wake up after 4 hours of sleep with CRAZY anxiety; and 2) it just doesn’t seem like a long-term or healthy solution to me… :-/
Does anyone else have this similar problem? Any ideas?
Anon
I had this problem, and way I solved it is that I got therapy. I did cognitive behavioral therapy and learned how to replace the bad thougthts with happy (or at least neutral) ones. Excerise also helps me.
There might be an easier way, but CBT worked for me.
lawyerette-to-be
thank you for sharing; your thoughts are really helpful :-)
Eponine
I used to have this problem in law school, and a sleeping pill/anti-depressant called Trazodone was a miracle drug for me. Talk to your doctor. It helped me fall asleep, and stay asleep.
Eponine
I should say, too, that I’m not normally a drug-taker and this was the only time I’d ever used medication to address an emotional/behavioral issue, but it really did help when nothing else did.
anon2
be careful – trazadone gave me god-awful nightmares. all of these sleeping pills have that risk though, and work differently for everyone.
Chicago K
This used to be me all the time…like others, I’ve tried taking benadryll, ambien, klonopin, and even trazadone (which actually didn’t work for me at all). Klonopin helped the most, and I took it to sleep for years and years. I still take it occasionally.
The thing that has helped me the most, is just learning to realize that things will be OK…sending the wrong document one time will not make the entire company think you are a moron and get you fired (this is how my brain works anyway, guessing yours probably does too). I had to learn to have confidence in myself and what I was doing, and stop worrying that things will fall apart, because even if they do fall apart, you are a smart overachieving chick who will put that sh*t back together!
I am not the best at doing this…I still get panic attacks and freak outs about work, grad school and life. But I know how you are feeling and this is my best advice. Good luck!
Eponine
Does anyone else just feel like they are so exhausted all the time they can’t get anything done right? I cannot focus at work, I feel like a zombie all the time, and I overlook the simplest things. I am normally not like this at all, but it’s been going on for a year or more. I’m not sleepy, per se, just exhausted – too exhausted to bear the thought of cleaning my apartment in the evening, or making dinner, too exhausted to work in any sort of focused way or meet deadlines. I’m a bad sleeper, and I am so tired in the morning when the alarm goes off I just want to die, and I never seem to be able to catch up on weekends. I need a lot of down time, and if I don’t get it on the weekend due to personal commitments, I can barely muster the strength to face the week. Anyone else have this type of problem?
Delta Sierra
I see just above you say you’ve tried Tradozone. If you’re no longer using that, perhaps Lunesta, to get to sleep, is worth trying. I’ve been a chronic insomniac for years, and this works well for me. Takes about half an hour to kick in, so you don’t have to take it every night, you can try to fall asleep naturally, and if you can’t, can then take it and still get decent sleep. I feel perfectly clear in the morning. I’d certainly rather do without drugs, but I was getting so every night, for months, I’d only fall asleep at 3 or 4 a.m., and the days were awful.
You might want to talk to your doctor and see if you have depression, which could be why you’re tired and feel unmotivated. There are lots of online are-you-depressed questionnaires, to help you decide.
Eponine
Oh, I have no problems falling asleep anymore. No insomnia. I just wake up really easily, and I live in a city so there is a lot of noise at night. I tend to stay in bed for 7-8 hours per night, but I don’t think I’m actually getting rest all that time. Would Lunesta actually help with that?
I don’t think I’m depressed, because I’m pretty happy with my life right now. I get stressed, but there’s not much I would change, really, unless I could add more hours to the day.
Eponine
I also tend to be a morning person, and I get tired in the afternoon. But the culture of my current job is such that I’m expected to work late-ish, and arriving early is futile. My boss had a conversation with me about leaving “too early” awhile ago, even though I was leaving after working 8-9 hours (I no longer work at a firm obviously), so I had to adjust my schedule. So now I don’t get home until 8 or so, and I never make it to bed before midnight. Do you think a sleeping pill of some sort could actually help with adjusting my body clock? Normal me would like to sleep from 10-6 or so.
Delta Sierra
Eponine: when I got the Lunesta scrip from my doctor he asked “do you have trouble getting to sleep, or staying asleep?” When I said it was getting, he recommended Lunesta. So maybe there’s a better one for staying asleep.
Soft earplugs help with sound sleep, if your neighborhood is noisy.
I tried Tradozone, didn’t like it at all, too long of a conscious-but-paralyzed time before it actually put me too sleep, but the hubs uses it sometimes.
If depression is an issue with you, you can always try an SSRI for maybe six months, see if it helps, go off it if not. Sometimes you have to try a couple before you hit the right one for you, it’s very individual. Also, the first month on, you’ll likely have gut grief, but that will pass.
Eponine
I do use earplugs, but they don’t block out everything. Funny about the Trazodone. I only used it for about a semester when I was at my most panicked about graduating, and it would just knock me out. I guess different drugs work differently for different people.
I will talk to the doctor about sleeping pills. I already stopped drinking coffee at his suggestion about 10 months ago now, and the sleep situation hasn’t improved.
LMo
I bought a desk fan and put it by my bed a few months ago. Turn it on when you go to sleep and suddenly you can’t hear any of those noises…it’s helped me get more (and much better quality) sleep.
IndiaGirl
Do get a check-up done at the doctor’s. I had a similar problem most of last year. I got some tests done and found out that I had mild hypothyroidism.
Eponine
I have a different endocrine condition, but my doctor doesn’t think it’s related. I don’t have any thyroid problems.
PJB
That type of exhaustion may be low-level depression. It’s a classic sign, and you might want to talk with a psychiatrist. I feel that way myself right now because I’m done — emotionally – with my job. But, my salary is terrific, and I have a big mortgage to pay. I just can’t quit right now. This leads me to that exhausted feeling of which you speak.
I have also found that as I age, I’m simply tired more often. I need much more rebound time, and time alone where I do not have to speak or respond to anyone. Books save me. And, honestly, I live in a Hawaii rain forest, and simply laying in bed, listening to the birds, and the sound of the breeze playing in the leaves, and smelling the rich scented air, yeah, that is good, too.
Eponine
Hmm, a couple of you have mentioned depression. I like my job, although I don’t like it every hour of every day, and I like my family and social life. But it might still be worth talking to my doctor about. It wouldn’t have occurred to me without the suggestion, so thanks!
Houda
My energy levels are low all day… Yesterday my manager called me out on an email which I forwarded (and obviously shouldn’t have)… I just hope it will go away, but all the little mistakes will eventually add up..
Lawgirl
I’ve been there too, ladies. And sometimes still go there ;-D I’d recommend seeing a doctor if you feel like someday, soon, you won’t be able to get out of bed…
CK
I felt something similar when I lived in my old apartment, though I think on a much lower level than you are facing. Something that made a big difference for me was that my sleep improved when I cam here, in part I think because I never do anything other than sleep/get dressed in my bedroom. In my old apartment, which was much smaller, there was lots of STUFF in our bedroom, and I studied/read/worked/watched movies etc. Now the bedroom is very sparse – we have decorated it minimally and barely spend any non-sleeping time there. I think it helps my body know when I head to bed that it isn’t work or play time – it’s just time to sleep. Another factor: we bought a stand-up fan that is pretty loud. At first I thought this was a terrible idea, but the rhythmic noise really does help block out any distractions and is somewhat soothing, and it keeps the room cool – but doesn’t make it cool until I’m snuggled under the covers; now I have a hard time falling asleep without it!
Eponine
Now you might be on to something. I live in a studio, and my bed doubles as a couch. Hmm.
Eponine
I sent a stupid, poorly worded email a few weeks ago too and really upset a colleage in another office. When I reread it later I couldn’t believe I’d actually written it.
Eponine
A couple more comments on my problem: The lack of energy seems mostly work-related. I don’t have any natural light in the area of my office. It is hard for me to get out of bed, but once I’m up, I’m pretty energetic (singing to the cat, etc) until I get to work. On days when I can work at home (like today), I’m more energetic (although, I may spend hours looking at blogs instead of working…).
There are some issues going on with my job that make it unpleasant right now, but these are temporary things. It’s possible that my exhaustion is correlated, but I feel like I’ve been exhausted for far longer.
I used to have a job where I worked 70+ hours a week and had no life, and it energized me. Now I work 40-50 hours, volunteer with a community organization, and still have time to spend with friends, and I’m exhausted.
My thyroid is fine.
If anyone has any insight – I’d appreciate it!
v
Since you mention natural light, have you tried getting a full spectrum light, either to put in your office or to sit under for a bit at home in the mornings and evenings? Maybe you have some level of seasonal affective disorder, especially if you live in a cloudy place or don’t get much in the way of natural light. I’ve had friends for whom a full spectrum light has worked wonders.
jcb
Two suggestions:
First, it could be migraines. I was having similar issues for a long time – it got to the point where it was unbearable. Everything was exhausting, I was a zombie. Didn’t really have headaches. My neurologist (who I just happened to be seeing for dizzy spells, which we had fixed, but then the fatigue didn’t go away) finally figured out that it could be that I was having constant, low level migraines. He put me on a tiny dose of Effexor (off-label use), and almost immediately the clouds lifted. It was amazing. Talk to your doctor about it. Possibly the work stress could explain why it is worse there than at home.
Second: my aunt had fatigue issues and finally her doctor recommended that she go to a sleep clinic. They figured out that she had extreme sleep apnea, to the point that she never got to the deep REM sleep even though she was sleeping through the night. That apparently is not a good thing. She has to wear a contraption to bed now that basically forces oxygen into her lungs at night, but her energy level is much better now.
jcb
Oh, also – re the light issues – I’ve figured out that my migraines make me somewhat light sensitive. I don’t use the flourescent lights in my office, have instead brought in a couple of desk lamps. You would not believe how much better it is. Homier feel, no harsh lights beaming down into my eyes. If you don’t have control over whether the lights above you are off or on, then maybe your building can unscrew the ones above your desk (they did that for me in my former office).
Eponine
OK, I also don’t use florescent lights, opting for desk and floor lamps instead. Florescent light makes me nauseous. You really might be on to something with the migraine suggestion.
Eponine
My doctor said I have no signs of sleep apnea and it wasn’t worth a sleep study. The migraine thing is fascinating, though. I used to get regular migraines, after a neck injury. Did you have any history of regular migraines prior to your diagnosis? I see a neurologist for a back problem – I will ask him about it the next time I see him.
jcb
Nope, never have had a problem with headaches. It was a complete shock when the doctor suggested that was the problem, but the results were amazing. Like I said, it is an off-label use for the Effexor – he prescribes the tiniest dose it comes in, and then I have to divide the capsules into halves (challenging), and pharmacists like to quiz me on how on earth I divide a capsule (which gets old) – but it is worth the trouble!
Eponine
@jcb – You should find a pharmacy that does compounding and will make the capsules for you. It shouldn’t cost more than a regular pharmacy. There should be several options in every metro area. I know because my cat’s medicine has to be specially compounded for her at a human pharmacy :).
jcb
Thank you for the advice! I had no idea they would do that! How wonderful.
anon2
you sound a lot like me…. ordinarily i would hvae said, get checked for depression/anxiety, but others have already said that. I’d still see a therapist, but also focus on finding a new job or a different position within your same company, because it sounds like your current job just doesn’t fit.
And i’m totally in the same boat as you in terms of hours — I’d much rather work early / leave early, but that just not allowed at my firm, and it’s incredibly frustrating because that’s how my body works! I believe our mental clocks are set at certain places and it’s very hard to change them, and personally I just cannot succeed at staying up late working.
I also hate physically being at work, I work better at home too, but that’s probably because of social anxiety issues (hard to be around other people for a long time – causes a great deal of stress) — could think about whether this also applies to you.
anon2
maybe the difference between this job and your former one is that you were phyiscally moving more at your former one? I had several other jobs before becoming a lawyer and they all involved moving more, even other office jobs — just running from one place to another, making copies, etc. Now I sit in one spot and research all day. So maybe this makes us more fatigued?
If you do ever figure it out, pls let us know. I’m very curious for more tips and help. I frequently feel like I can’t make it through the day, and it’s very discouraging!
Valerie @ City|Life|Eats
Eponine – I agree with a lot of the advice below , but I wanted to add adrenal fatigue to the list. It’s not in the same level of fatigue and debilitation as Addison’s disease, but can definitely affect quality of life. This is a link that explains a bit more: http://www.womentowomen.com/adrenalfatigue/default.aspx . One note – if you are indeed dealing with that, please get a couple of opinions on treatment – some doctors and naturopaths are quick to prescribe hormonal supplementation, which carries its own side effects, while diet and intense vitamin supplementation can reap results too.
anon
I read makeup and beauty blogs and websites.
Kz
I google pictures and videos of kittens. I adore cuteoverload.com. As soon as I finish law school and know where I’ll be permanently, I’m going to a shelter and adopting two kittens
Eponine
Aw. Your comment made me happy.
luluaj
I listen to podcasts before I fall asleep – I love “This American Life” and “Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me”. I find that reading gets me too keyed up…as in I can’t go to bed until I finish this book and find out what happens.
I also have been known to go to Target. This was more of a law school thing because I had more time and lived in a small town, but Target is open pretty late. I wouldn’t buy anything…just walk around and browse the pretty housewares, clothing, whatever really. Odd but a good escape for me!
Chicago K
I actually find grocery shopping really relaxing.
Also, sneaking out for a break at work to the bookstore across the street. Sometimes I even grab a latte first, and then just walk around browsing the books.
celia
I’d love to hear people’s quick fixes for when you’re running low on energy. I find myself nodding off a lot while studying for finals, and in the next week and a half of exams can’t really make big life changes like improving my overall energy levels with an exercise regime. Does anyone have anything they do to stay focused throughout the day? My strategy of coffee-red bull-soda could definitely use an overhaul!
Eponine
There was a long discussion of this in a recent weekend thread.
I go for a walk outside when I get sleepy during the day. Even 10 minutes will help your energy levels.
Chicago K
Not sure if you are studying at home, but if so, perhaps take a 30min-1 hour nap or a shower. I find that taking a break away from the computer without doing anything too strenuous helps clear my mind.
Coffee and food help me too, and so does a short walk or just laying down and staring at the ceiling….you don’t have to fall asleep…just sit/lay down and rest. if you are at school, go to the coffee shop, get a latte and sit down somewhere alone (inside or outside). Enjoy the taste and smell of the coffee and watch whatever else is going on, but try not to think about studying.
Make sure you break for lunch, snacks, etc too. Make sure you get plenty of water, especially if you are drinking all that caffiene.
I am not sure if you were the poster who asked for advice regarding what to eat for energy before, but I definately DO eat more when I have a long day or am cramming for school. Eat healthy, but large, meals and snack to keep your energy up. When I was in college I snacked on cheese/triscuits, grapes and Dr. Pepper to get through finals. While I no longer drink soda, I drink soy mochas and eat goldfish, luna bars and sandwiches now to give me energy for grad school and usually veggie omelets with whole grain toast for breakfasts on long days.
jojo
Bankruptcy CLEs. Work like a charm; I’m out like a light.
75
As a lawyer, I am using the left side of my brain all day long. Therefore, to relax, I engage in right brain activities. I work with my hands (not computer-conected), play a musical instrument, cook, design things, and watch design shows on TV. Plannning outfits and putting them together comes under this category, too. Anything that gets your brain off of WORDS!
R
1.) Stopped drinking coffee. Now I sleep like a baby. (If you have trouble sleeping, give it a try!)
2.) Chick lits before bed. Everything always turns out ok in the end and they take your mind off of your own life.
3.) Reading home decorating/gardening magazines and blogs.
4. ) A weekend get-a-way does wonders to break up the routine and give you perspective.
5.) Yoga has been a God-send for me. When I’m in really bad shape, though, I meditate for 10 or 15 minutes when I wake up.
Delta Sierra
God, yes, I get so sick of the inside of my own head sometimes. Non-brain work FTW!
Liz
Well, besides sitting down with a latte and a good book, I LOVE getting massages or mani-pedis!
Midori
I read corporette and have a cup of coffee at my desk. Or take a walk.