Thursday’s Workwear Report: Print Wrap Dress

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1. Weird question – do you associate makeup brands with age groups or are they tied to when they came out, or something else? So urban decay – for the ladies who wore the light blue nail polish in the 90s, Gen. X, or for younger people going to raves? Chanel – older women or sophisticated women?

   1. Not really but then again I once dyed my grandmother’s hair with Manic Panic light blue because she wanted a blue tint to her ‘do.

      1. You and your grandmother sound awesome.

   2. No, with the exception that I associate Clinique and the department store makeup counter with my grandmother (who would be in her late 90s if she were stil alive; she’s been deceased about 15 years).

      But, I’m 28 and I also use Clinique eye cream so clearly I don’t think only the elderly use Clinique.

      I guess I associate Glossier with my age group (mid 20s-mid 30s), but I don’t think it’s exclusive.

   3. From a marketing standpoint, that isn’t as weird a question as you might think because brands often want to be associated with certain groups or lifestyles.
      For my part, the answer is no, I don’t. Probably because I’ve never been that into makeup. I have a brand I like and don’t really pay attention to the industry outside of that.

      1. +1, like I know I’m probably not the target audience for Glossier as I near 40, but that doesn’t mean I won’t use it.

         1. Glossier is known as a millennial brand, so I think you’re actually right in their niche!

      2. Yes, this. The brands themselves do this.

         I’ve always considered an Estee Lauder user 15-20 years older than me, however old I am. Barry M, younger.

         Chanel not so much sophisticated but more someone who has a favourite and doesn’t experiment.

         I like Urban Decay a lot, but I didn’t wear it back when it was edgy. I think the current equivalent to the nineties UD, would be insisting on indie brands.

   4. I do associate ELF with tiktok make-up content creators but that’s about it.

   5. Sometimes? I always associate Estee Lauder with older women just because that’s what my grandma used, but hell, Estee Lauder has some good products that I have used and rebought.

      Even though I was a teen in the ’90s, I weirdly don’t associate the modern-day Urban Decay with my generation. That seems to be a brand that’s stuck to its roots of offering unique colors and being more edgy than other brands. So I associate it with a certain vibe, rather than an age. But again, I have some UD products that I really like even though I’m not edgy in the least.

      Glossier and Milk seem like they’re aimed at the younger, trendier crowd. I also associate those brands with a certain aesthetic, rather than an age, although that aesthetic sort of requires that you have young, beautiful skin.

   6. I was talking to a friend at a wedding recently, who works in marketing for one of the big drugstore makeup brands, and she was saying the interesting thing is that as a brand people across the whole age range use them, but some products are more used by certain age groups.

      I associate Clarins with my mum, but that’s a personal thing (she wears their perfume) rather than an age group thing. I associate some of the brightly coloured drugstore brands with teenagers and younger people, I guess?

   7. I’m early Gen x and I always thought of Clinique as an intro to skincare and makeup brand that you would grow out of. In fact, I think that’s how they positioned it marketing wise back in the day. Start with Clinique and move on to Estée Lauder as you matured. And I did that for a while.

      I think Glossier is the more recent Clinique in that sense. I think of it as a millenial brand for when that generation was just starting out with makeup. My young adult Gen Z daughter also felt the hype.

      I think makeup artist brands like Laura Mercier, Bobbi Brown, Trish McEvoy are ageless, just for someone who is really interested in good makeup, mostly for a natural look. But they can be pricey (especially Trish, girl, wtf) so possibly that makes them skew older for economic reasons. Mac is in this category but they push more edgy looks so skew younger. And they’re a little more affordable.

      I’m 58 now and have been buying most of my makeup from the makeup artist category since I was 30. Skincare, I’m all over the place. But I’m pretty consistent with makeup. I have all of the brands I mentioned in that category and use them consistently. Mac should not be ignored, you can get a very nice non-edgy look from Mac – the face and body is a classic sheer foundation with a gorgeous finish.

      1. By the way, when I say Bobbi Brown, I mean the brand of that name that the artist sold to Estée Lauder. Jones Road is definitely a different market, and aimed more at people who don’t want to wear makeup or aren’t all that comfortable with makeup.

      2. I’m a late GenX and thought of Clinique the same way – sort of a starter brand for teens/college girls and Estee Lauder / Lancome as brands for older women. I associate MAC with very edgy, very “done” makeup, but that’s probably advertising and the people I knew that were into MAC when I was a young person were theater types who liked very dramatic makeup.

         While I buy the occasional fancy lipstick (mostly Shiseido or Pat McGrath) I’m 46 and have switched mostly to drugstore brands – lots of Physician’s Formula, Burt’s Bees, Almay, a few Revlon products. I even like that Coty airspun powder that’s about $7 for a big container. Part of this is that I know (more or less) what looks natural-ish/flattering for my skin tone, part of it is that most drugstore brands have one or more shades/colors that look OK on a not-that-pale white lady. The Sephora brands are the best of both worlds – high quality, you can get someone to help you choose a good color, and they aren’t that expensive. If money was no object, I’d buy everything from Shiseido.

         1. Shiseido has wonderful skincare too. I think you can get the same from many Asian brands but for someone who doesn’t want to go down that rabbit hole, Shiseido is one-stop shopping.

            1. I love their clear sunscreen. When my recent haul from French drugstores runs out, I’m going to look into their skincare stuff in a serious way. Come to think of it, I actually use Shiseido face wash. I got a bottle from TJ Maxx (or maybe even Ross) and it’s so nice. Shiseido stuff shows up with some regularity at my local TJ Maxx stores so I always check to see if there is anything good in the makeup/skincare aisles.

   8. I have a long comment in endless m0d.

   9. Yes, Poppy matte lipsticks with the 90s.

2. I need to bring an appetizer to a Kentucky derby party on Saturday, and I have no idea what to bring. It can’t need to be warm because I have a 30 minute drive to the party, ideally no meat cause over half the guests are vegetarian, and hopefully relatively easy to make as I don’t enjoy cooking. Any suggestions?

   1. One of my go-to appetizers is the spinach dip recipe on the Knorr vegetable soup package. Serve in a hollowed out round loaf of bread with crackers or pita chips. It is always a crowd pleaser.

      1. I’ve never made spinach dip because I always thought it had to be served warm. Is it good cold?

         1. It is DELICIOUS cold. I’m not the above poster but I make this for lunch sometimes.

         2. There’s spinach cheese dip and there’s spinach ranch dip. Two different yet awesome appetizers!

         3. Yes, this is served cold. I double the spinach in the recipe because I don’t like it super mayonnaise-y.

      2. This is a great suggestion. I double the spinach ( I use the Kroger brand chopped frozen spinach blocks) give it a short nuke in the microwave to defrost and only just barely cook it, wring it dry in old, cruddy dish towels (it will stain), and chop it pretty finely. I also usually add a carrot, grated, and a red, yellow, or orange big bell pepper diced about 1/4″ pieces. Serve with Triscuits and/or sturdy tortilla chips, plus maybe some carrot sticks.

         I made this for my condo’s holiday party and was abandoning my leftovers due to leaving town – there was a polite tussle between residents for this and the Garden and Gun bourbon balls. Those are good too – make them with good chocolate, use Pepperidge Farm shortbread cookies in the base, and add a little extra bourbon.

         1. Added because there’s no way to edit – it’s best if at least the base is made a day or so ahead.

   2. Ruffles potato chips and French onion dip is easy, and very popular.
      A fruit and cheese tray.
      Cheese and crackers tray.
      Plate of desserts like brownies in bite size pieces, cookies, and fruit.
      A vegetable and hummus dip tray.
      Charcuterie board (the fancier version of these things).
      If you have a Trader Joe’s near you they have some fantastic items for trays and boards- olives, crackers, cheese twists, cheeses, dips, etc. of course other grocery stores will have these items too- look in the deli section before going up and down the aisles.

   3. Deviled eggs.

   4. Pimento cheese with crackers, crostini and veggies to dip.

   5. Pimento cheese & veggies, or pimento cheese mini sandwiches.

   6. Pimento Cheese dip with crackers and veggies. Check the Kentucky Derby’s website – they have a recipe on it.

   7. The Washington Post’s “voraciously” section has a recipe for Coronation Chickpea Salad today that looks good. You could put a spoonful of it on leaves of endive or other greens.

   8. Caprese skewers? Or can you just buy something to bring if you don’t like cooking.

   9. This will sound weird, but it’s really really good. Just get a block of cream cheese, put it on a plate, and dump a small jar of jelly over it. Any flavor works! My favorite is pepper jelly, but peach is also wonderful. Serve with fancy crackers.

      1. My mom makes this great cream cheese and crab ball topped with cocktail sauce and served with triscuits. Just mix a block of cream cheese and a can of crab meat, set on plate, pour cocktail sauce on top.

      2. We do this at the holidays in my family (cream cheese goes in appropriately-themed dish, like a little christmas tree shaped dish), and can confirm, cream cheese topped with red pepper jelly is delicious.

      3. This is especially good if you use a spicy jelly like hot pepper jelly or jalapeño jelly.

   10. deviled eggs or caprese skewers

   11. Cucumber sandwiches

   12. 7 layer dip is always a fan favorite!

   13. I’d go to my local grocery store that sells pre-made trays and buy one. Easier than stressing about what to make and the cost is probably similar.
       Just transfer the food to your own dishes if you don’t want to bring the plastic it’s sold in to the party.

   14. I’m hosting a Derby party with the theme “Cinco de Derby” to enable a fusion approach to food! I can’t resist sharing my menu here:
       choice of mint juleps or mojitos
       apps: pimento cheese dip & veggie tray / chips & salsa
       pulled brisket with choice of either bbq / tinga type sauce served on choice of buns or tortillas with avocado, pickled jalapeno, and lime slaw
       bourbon tres leche cake for dessert!

       1. google hot brown dip

          A hot brown is a traditional Derby afterparty sandwich and the dip version is themey and delicious — deli turkey, bacon, tomatoes, gouda, cream cheese and a little nutmeg.

       2. Bourbon tres leches?

          1. Just regular tres leches but instead of adding a few tablespoons of rum (which I sometimes do), I’m subbing bourbon!

          2. I’ve had that, as well as other delicious tres leches varieties. Tres leches is honestly kind of a canvas you can use as platforms for many other flavor profiles. I made a chocolate tres leches cake where I made chocolate sponge cake, mixed cocoa powder into the condensed milk and then put chocolate shavings on top. It was a big hit.

   15. Whipped feta dip with honey (hot or regular). Serve with pita chips & crudite. No specific recipe to recommend but if you google there’s a million of them

   16. Plates of:
       Small cubes of melon “wrapped”in a narrow, small piece of prosciutto, and secured with a cocktail stick.
       Small cubes of pineapple and good sharp cheddar cheese, and secured with a cocktail stick.

   17. If you put the stuff in a dutch oven with lid and wrap it in towels, it’ll probably stay warm at least, if not hot, hot. Just keep an eye on how long your app is at room temp.

3. Has anyone had a mini tummy tuck? How was your recovery? How long did you wear the compression device? Do you regret it? When did you swim? Did people notice a difference and what did you tell them? Etc. Thanks in advance!

   1. Following. Also curious if anyone has done ‘coolsculpting.’ I have extra (skin? fat? unclear) after 2 c sections that hangs down a bit, no matter how much I exercise.

      1. This is me too! I don’t want to look entirely different; I just want to look like I would look without a hack job c section.

      2. The doctor who did the coolsculpting was very clear that the procedure will ONLY help with fat reduction and not ‘laxity’ – so it won’t tighten, just get rid of the excess fat. Unfortunately skin tightening is my goal and it just isn’t something you can do without surgery (though there are newer lasers that look promising – the Sofwave for example).

      3. That Paradoxical Adipose Hyperplasia thing where cool sculpting actually can grow permanent fat scared me off it. I’ve had lipo and found it quick and great. Gave my middle aged body a nice waist again.

      4. I would read the recent NYT piece on coolsculpting causing disfigurement carefully if i were you

      5. That flap of skin& fat is firmly tummy tuck territory. Neither cool sculpting nor lipo will get rid of the extra skin. I feel you because I have it too, but at this point I’m just going to live with it. As Anne Lamont wrote, my tummy lies beside me like an obedient puppy.

   2. I had a consultation for a mini tummy tuck and the doctor said (and my own research seemed to confirm) that it was a harder surgery to do well, and she mostly didn’t do them or recommend them herself and she’d done more than a few full tummy tucks as revisions when the ‘mini’ ones didn’t work well. I also had a c-section and while I don’t have the ‘shelf’ my skin stretched out pretty significantly for a singleton birth and I have a fair amount of wrinkly skin. At this point I’ve decided I’m ok with it. I did have a coolsculpting session years ago when it was newer tech and it worked ok but frankly I wouldn’t do it again as the difference I saw for the cost wasn’t worthwhile and the new research seems to bear out that ‘adverse effects’ are MUCH higher than the manufacturer wants you to believe.

      1. Can you clarify what would go wrong in a mini tummy tuck?

         1. This was over 9 years ago but what I recall was that the risk was that she wouldn’t be able to get the skin as tight as you might want/need therefore making a second follow up surgery necessary, and the skin in that area moves a ton so wound healing/thicker scars are common and it’s harder to revise vs. do a bigger surgery from the beginning. The ‘Beauty Broker’ on instagram has a LOT of clear content and examples of good work so perhaps worth looking at her page?

      2. A friend of mine went for a consult and was told something similar – the “mini tucks” usually aren’t sufficient to give people the results they’re looking for; they’re marketed as being less drastic and having less recovery time, but then that means people are going through surgery and on the other side, not looking the way they’d hoped. And that the doctor had done several revisions for people who’d had “mini tucks” done by other surgeons and weren’t happy with the result. She didn’t want to do a full tuck and so ended up getting lipo, which she was happy with for awhile, but then she gained weight in perimenopause and you couldn’t tell any more that she’d even had it done.

   3. No “mini” — I had a full on tummy tuck about 10 years ago and although it was a horrific experience I continue to be delighted with the results. I took four weeks off work and although I could have gone back after three, I was very happy for the fourth because I had a slight complication that led to having drains in place for a month, which was kind of awful.

      I had lost a ton of weight so if anybody asked I characterized it as “surgery to remove excess skin.”

4. I’m trying not to buy work clothes this summer but I still want to keep a wish list of things I’m eyeing/swooning over. What do you think is the easiest and best way to do that? Pinterest?

   1. Pinterest annoys me, so I simply copy the links into a Note (in the Mac world).

      1. Same – I bookmark links and tear the occasional page out of a print catalog (but mostly links). I really have never clicked with Pinterest – annoying since day one for me.

   2. I keep a running list on my phone

   3. I prefer Pinterest for this kind of thing, because if you try to buy those items in the fall. I’d want to be able to easy image search for similar items.

   4. I just have a folder in my bookmarks of stuff I want to buy.

   5. I have a style board on pinterest and a generic list on my phone.
      If I were eyeing a specific item I would bookmark the site.

   6. I like a Pinterest wish list board for things that I love but kind of want to forget about for a while. I keep a notes list for things I am actively looking to buy.

   7. I have a bookmarks folder for things I’m thinking of buying in the next few months. I have it broken up into subfolders by category (tops, dresses, etc.) but you dont need to get that complicated with it.

   8. I use Shopstyle, and they send alerts when the things I have flagged go on sale.

5. What intended networking have you done that was really worth your time? I feel like all of the conferences I’ve gone to and the lunches with friends of friends in the field I want to be in have been largely wastes of time.

   1. Bar group (and bar adjacent) committees.

   2. Not in law so ymmv, but the most helpful ‘networking’ I’ve done is stay in contact with coworkers I liked when they or I moved to a new job. These relationships are close and longstanding so we are always happy to do each other a favor.

      1. Ditto. I have gotten referred for jobs and contract work by friendly ex-coworkers and have done the same for them, when opportunities arose. I have a pretty good network of former coworkers at this point and we do a lot to help and support each other.

         I basically quit going to networking events entirely, and I only go to conferences/luncheons if I am interested in learning about what’s being presented (or can get CEUs for one of my certifications). No contact I ever met at a networking event, conference or luncheon ever turned into anything substantive for me. And I get it – I’m reluctant to call someone I don’t know when I need professional services; I prefer to get referrals from people I know. And I am definitely not going to refer someone I don’t know to people I do know; I have to work with someone for awhile and feel confident in their abilities before I refer them, and put my own reputation on the line.

   3. Being active in hobby groups that have people in diverse professions but aren’t focused on jobs or professions (for me a moms group but equivalent to a sport or regular volunteering or your church). You get to know people really well as people so then they want to help you and introduce you to their friend who does that thing and can actually speak well of you – for me much more effective than groups that have a transactional networking feeling.

   4. Honestly, not much. Once I was senior enough lunches with people when there was a specific reason (I was looking for a job, they were interested in hiring me or knew people who were) were helpful. Maybe shared activities, like the committees another poster mentioned.

   5. A couple caveats:
      1 – I am using networking as a means to get projects, work successful on projects, etc., and also for hiring people to join my team. I am not using it to network for a different job, since I have an ownership interest in my company.
      2 – my industry is local (state wide) and niche, so it feels small. I can name my competitors on one hand, personally know their owners and their primary salespeople, etc. Our clients are specific. It’s a very relationship orientated industry (and historically male dominated).

      For me conferences can often feel like a waste of time in the moment, but all of those mundane conversations can really build into a relationship over time that are fruitful. Conferences also became much more useful via networking when I joined a few of the committees (I prefer event planning committees, but there are many different types) – actually doing something together helps form deeper relationships. I actually leaned hard into committees in three different associations for a few years, then leaned out of the ones that I didn’t enjoy as much or the time commitment was too extensive. That really paid off; I know a lot of people in my industry quite well now.

      I also am almost always willing to spend extra time on the phone if someone wants to talk longer. I have external colleagues that I only work with over the phone, and some of our longer (think around 30 minute) conversations have really led to some beneficial relationships. We go on about different projects, who’s involved, their work methods, etc etc.

      Both of those things, over years, have helped build a lot of external relationships where I can call on people when I need something and they’re happy to help, and they share valuable information about our industry and projects with me. Yesterday I was in a meeting and was sharing things that were happening in our industry locally, and the opportunities they provide and how we can fill those needs, and one of the senior people in the meeting asked me how I knew all of that info. I just smiled and said I talk to a lot of people.

      1. Also, at conferences I don’t do coffees, lunches or dinners with anyone outside of my own company. We tried to do client dinners at conferences for a few years and decided it was more headache than it was worth. Now we’ll maybe do smaller dinners with select clients, but nothing super planned or extensive. I almost always reserve coffee/breakfast for by myself, and lunch (if not part of the conference) for myself or just with my company colleagues. Break times are key to keeping the stamina for all the rest of the talking all day long.

   6. I am a sole practitioner so I go to conferences that my potential clients are likely to attend, not so much conferences that my peers would attend. I always look for an opportunity to speak at these conferences. At this point I have lots of friends there so it’s very social for me as well. I have one coming up and I can’t wait!

      In terms of paying off, that’s hard to measure. For me, it’s mainly that I know a lot of people in my industry and I’m maintaining connections, making a few new ones but mostly maintaining. Whether my long time relationships result in business or whether it was seeing one of these people at a conference that triggered them to contact me is hard to measure, but both matter.

   7. By and large, I go to conferences and lunches to get new ideas, not to make connections. I network by volunteering, mentoring, being mentored, staying in touch with people I liked from work and college, and being a friendly and social neighbor/daycare mom.

6. My hairdryer died this morning so now I need to replace it fairly quickly. I have a T3 and don’t have any complaints about it, it died after 7 years of almost daily use.

   My hair is fine, thin and straight so I don’t need a super powered dryer. I don’t want the cheapest hair dryer but I also don’t want to spend $250 on a hairdryer or spend Dyson money.

   Any recs on a solid mid-range hair dryer?

   1. Babyliss is my ride-or-die, under $100

      1. I have had my Babyliss Pro Carusso for years and love it gets my hair dry FAST without much heat. I bought one for my mom and for my sister.

   2. Amika

      1. I love my Amika and I don’t like hairdryers.

         1. It dries so quickly, without damaging my hair, and is so quiet. I’m just not happy with any other brand.

            1. I have very, very fine hair, but a lot of it. Hairdryers destroy my hair. Amika does not and gets the job done in like five minutes.

   3. Rusk w8less is my fave

      1. +1. Mine is 8 YO and still going strong!

   4. Whatever is currently on the shelf at Costco.

   5. similar hair – fine and very straight.
      Babyliss for traditional hairdryer, but I moved to a Revlon round brush thing a few years ago and haven’t looked back.

7. I need a new eyelash curler and am curious if anyone has one they swear by! I usually just grab whatever one at target.

   1. I think shiseido is the gold standard for a reason.

      1. +1. The shiseido is worth the extra cost. I have long lashes naturally but the shiseido gets them to the point where people think I got a lash lift/extensions

   2. Tweezerman. It’s consistently rated up there with the iconic Shiseido.

8. I’ve finally decided to get a soda stream! Thought to ask here first if there’s some competitor I’m not aware of that is the same thing for better/cheaper or which actual model you got and if you’re happy with it. I love the fizz of sparkling water and tend to go through a lot each week and will mix with flavor syrups or fruit juice.

   1. I don’t have any competitors in mind, just here to say I have the Sodastream and love it every day!

   2. When I first got one, I looked for competitors and didn’t find any that weren’t totally niche products (Soda stream cartridges being easy to get is what makes it convenient). But the way it functions is so simple and completely mechanical, that they last a long time. I got mine in a thrift store and it’s working fine.

   3. There’s some hack where you adapt the cartridges and refill them at sports stores to save a ton of $.

      Our soda stream was a gift and the instant the cartridges ran out we stopped using it forever. But nearly everyone I know who actually uses their soda stream does this workaround that I never learned!

   4. We got ours through OfferUp and got a brand new one for a steal. Doesn’t seem to be any competitors, tbh. Our machine is the one with three buttons on top that you press depending on how bubbly you want your water.

   5. We have one and use it regularly. You can exchange the canisters at Target which makes it really easy.

   6. I got a sodastream to try to replace my canned fizzy water habit and I hated it. Didn’t get the water fizzy enough for my taste.

      1. Same. Might try again – I hear that colder water fizzes better – but I like my fizzy water to have a bite, not just a gentle tickle.

         1. Oh, me, too! Now I understand my issue.

            1. It definitely dissolves more gas if the water is cold, but you can keep adding more and more gas until it is as fizzy as want, or at least you can with my old model. I do 5 buzzes.

   7. I got my boyfriend a Mysoda “Ruby.” It had good reviews and looked nicer to me to keep out on the countertop. It takes Sodastream cartridges. He loves it. It took a little learning curve not to create a spill but once used to it works great. You can choose how much fizz you want, with a good range of just a bit to wow, that’s fizzy.

   8. Not a cheaper option- but we have an Aarke. It looks beautiful on the countertop and uses the soda stream canisters that you can get at target. We’ve had for about 6 months and love it.

   9. My Dad got all of us Sodastreams so that we could avoid needless calories, and it was a good idea. My only issue with them is that b/c I drink so much water, I find that I get alot more gassy during the day, which I must take care NOT to let loose when I am in a place with others, like a depo or worse yet, court. The only sliver lining is that the gas does not smell badly b/c I go more often to the toilet b/c of the gas, so it does not have the same amount of time to build up and get stinky. I do not know if Sodastream could use this in there advertising, but it is a plus for me and Rosa, at least, and I suspect others here in the hive who drink alot of sodawater.

9. Can anyone recommend good active/wicking underwear? I tried the Uniqlo ones and am not a fan of the cut.

   1. The wool siren bikini from icebreaker. I usually can’t wear bikini styles because they ride up, but these are perfect for my size 12/14 self. They are my go to for long hikes or ski days.

   2. Avid hiker and backpacker here. For hikes and backpacking, I wear men’s exercise boxer briefs! They come down to mid-thigh and are thinner than yoga or biking shorts so hiking pants are comfortable over top of them.

   3. ExOfficio are my favorite. Closely followed by Duluth Trading Co.

      1. The ex officio ones have a great fit, but I find that they trap odor really badly because of the synthetics.

10. Suggestions for favorite low/no show socks to wear with sneakers that don’t actually slide down in the heel? Looking for some to wear with allbirds tree runners.

    1. I have a set that New Balance makes that I love – they would fall more under the “low show” than a true no show sock. But they stay in place and are comfortable. Found them by the register at DSW

    2. +1 – I’ve been wearing Balegas but they need to come up slightly higher in the back as they do sometimes slide down. Are pom pom socks still a thing? I’m tempted to fully embrace the prep and just go for those!

    3. Gap athletic socks are my go-to.

    4. I wear Bombas no-show socks with my Allbirds.

    5. My mom gave me a pair of frye no show socks for christmas one year and I am obsessed with them; not sure if they are still made though. They have a plastic square in the back that rests against my ankle and prevents slipping/sliding.

    6. Smartwool!

       1. My Smartwool super-low cut socks fall off of my heels immediately and stay off, sadly.

    7. I think no show socks that stay up are an urban legend, like the Manolo Blahnik Mary Jane.

       1. lol same. I just have a bunch of neutral color low ankle socks – white, gray, black, etc. Maybe my heel is too straight up-and-down or something but every brand I’ve tried, including “omg they never stay up on me but these work!” recommendations, last me 20 mins or less before they’re inching under my heel.

          1. Girl, same. I also cannot wear slingback shoes.

    8. Bombas no-show socks have a rubber gripper at the heel, but be careful to order the right size. (Last time I looked they were sized differently from the socks.)

    9. Whatever cheap ones are on Amazon that are mostly cotton and (key) include the silicone strip inside the back center.

    10. Feetures! I’ve walked 15-20K steps a day in Europe without adjusting them once, and I have a big size 10 foot!

    11. I have those shoes and wear all in motion no show socks from Target

11. Does anyone have a good way of aggregating news for their industry to avoid having to read tons of email newsletters every day?

    For example, I currently subscribe to a lot of law firm news alerts, industry rag news alerts, USG regulatory news alerts, ACC alerts, on and on. I can’t keep up with it all and it clogs up my inbox. There has to be a better way. Pls help! And no, we don’t have focused inbox (yet?) for Outlook.

    1. If you use outlook, you can set a rule that all emails from certain email addresses go to a certain folder. Then they don’t clog your inbox, and you can read them when you have a chance.

       1. I do this – I have a mailing lists folder. I am in a role that crosses over between a few different industry specialisms, so I get a finance industry daily news roundup as well as Carbon Brief for sustainability news, and a couple of others.

       2. This is my current set-up, but out of sight out of mind and I never read them and then miss stuff. Sigh.

    2. I think feedly may work for your purposes. It’s one you can customize.

       1. Thanks!

12. Let me start by saying I’m pretty safe/savvy online. Never click links or call a number that is pushed to me via text. If a financial institution calls me, I always hang up and find the number on their web si te on my own to confirm it’s legit and call back, etc. Also, thanks to the ppl who responded to me late yesterday quickly with some advice. With that all said….

    Earlier this week I received an email from unemployment assistance asking me to click a link to confirm my email and that if I received it in error to contact the fraud department. I found a phone number through the government web si te and called to report the fraud, and I was told I now have no further action to take.

    Yesterday I received an email from Capital One saying that “your email address has been updated” and if you received this in error contact fraud department. When I logged in it turns out a random hotmail account was added to my profile and set as primary and my phone number was changed. Among my most immediate actions were changing passwords to literally anything I could think of, freezing my credit at all three bureaus and calling Capital One to flag. I also pulled a free credit report and saw there was an unauthorized inquiry. And, wouldn’t you know it, an hour later I got a call from Cap One fraud telling me a credit card application was received and was flagged as potential fraud. I confirmed it was fraudulent and they are removing the credit inquiry from my report.

    This is all very new to me. They didn’t successfully get unemployment assistance or the credit card facility approved since I watch my accounts like a hawk as it is. But what a PITA. Is there anything else I should be doing between updating passwords and freezing credit? Is this “identity theft”? DH is going to change his passwords, too, and especially on accounts we own jointly. Should I take any steps with my minor child’s credit or is this likely isolated to me?

    1. It sounds like the system worked as it should. The person didn’t succeed. Aside from what you already did-
       -Keep your credit and your spouse’s frozen. You can always lift the freeze for temporary periods of time if you’re applying for a loan or new card. It’s not a big deal.
       -Notify HR at your employer – if someone is filing for unemployment, your company may have been contacted

       1. Freezing your credit also has the benefit of shutting down store credit card offers. “No thanks, our credit’s frozen after a data leak!”

    2. I would freeze your child’s credit as a precaution anyway. It’s a good practice in this day and age.

       1. I keep my kids’ credit frozen all the time. They are not opening credit cards or taking out loans, so there i no reason not to keep it frozen.

          1. Not the OP: how do you freeze your child’s credit?

             1. Says my husband, who just kicked off the process for our toddler: it’s an hour and a half of PITA. You fill out some forms, print them, and then print copies of documents to prove the child’s identity. You then mail these in.

    3. Yes, we have had a similar thing happened. Seems like all the safety checks worked well and you have done all the right things.

       We also went and filed a police report. Yes, this is essentially identity theft. This was advantageous at the time because by having the police report we were eligible for some long term credit security program/monitoring service for free.

       You can find some nice “identity theft” checklists online that I found very helpful. Take a look at the one on the CHASE bank website, and just follow it step by step. There are some nation wide fraud reporting organizations you report to. There is something like a Credit Freeze that you can do for banks as well – to prevent others from opening bank accounts in your name. Yes, also freeze your child’s credit. This is a good time to talk with your parents, and suggest to them freezing their credit. My parents got hit with identity theft a lot more once they were retired.

       Agree that you should try to change as many passwords as you can – look at the ones stored at Google. Also, I make an effort to never save credit cards on any website. Also, I have only one credit card that I use for all online purchases. It keeps things easy…. Well, except for a separate Amazon credit card and Costco credit card because their discounts are so good!

       I know this is stressful, but unfortunately it is the norm these days and happens to all of us at some point. And some of us, multiple times…

    4. I’m sorry to tell you that I have expertise in this area because this is a regular occurrence for me. As far as I can tell, no specific action I have taken has led to the fraud. My name/Ssn/address etc are on the “dark web” according to a credit monitoring service I use, so this just happens to me periodically. I have my credit permanently frozen.

       You’re doing the right things. It’s somewhere on the spectrum of annoying to distressing, but you’re not out any money and it’s ho hum every day stuff to the credit card issuers. Hang in there.

    5. Another vote for freezing credit, I also suggest a PW manager like LastPass

       1. Yes to a manager but not LastPass. They’ve had many breaches in the past and more and recent history and do not handle them well at all.

          1. +1

             Pretty much all of the password organizers can be breeched. I use a small, handwritten password book now and have a complex but not too hard for me to remember pattern for passwords that allows me to be able to figure out a lot of passwords on the fly when I don’t have the book with me. I keep the book at home.

       2. We use LP and I suspect this is a result of the recent breach. We still use them but are actively switching (DH’s domain), and the effort has been kicked in to overdrive.

    6. I want to flag something that is actually rampant in my neighborhood right now – mail theft. We often associate identity theft with online issues but a lot of personal information is sent via the mail. You should verify that both you and your spouse are receiving mail. They target couples – they forward mail for one spouse to the criminal’s location, so the couple gets mail that is joint or for the other spouse and don’t notice. They then open up new credit cards under the new address.

       1. +1

          In our towns, the thieves are also breaking in to US post office mail boxes – the ones out in the community for you to drop off mail in. They are stealing personal checks, which some people (especially seniors) still use for paying some bills. Lots of break-ins around tax time. They’ve removed most of the mail boxes in my town for this reason.

          1. Are you, perchance, in Arlington, Virginia? In my zip code, a ring of thieves has acquired a mail box key and has been stealing checks and altering them for several years now. I understand there are only about, say, 10 different keys for all the blue metal mailboxes in America, so if you get ahold of any key, chances are you can find a mailbox it will open. Going inside the post office branch doesn’t help either, because apparently there is some insider who is doing the same to mail deposited there. Oddly, leaving envelopes with checks in my mail slot on my front door is working. Perhaps mail picked up at homes is sorted differently? Anyway, it’s a problem which would be even more inconvenient if I didn’t pay as many bills online as I do. Periodically we learn about someone being arrested and even convicted, but the problem persists.

13. Primarily looking for confirmation/affirmation to say no to this non-important internal-firm request.
    My firm is trying to ramp up their student recruitment efforts – I am largely uninterested in being involved with student recruitment as it’s non-billable, tiring, and takes away from personal time + the time I spend trying to build my book. I’ve been asked to travel to our main office to help with a student recruitment event. It involves traveling there/back (2-3 hours each way) and staying overnight – all for a 3 hour event.
    The obvious answer is no, right? Ugh, I am trying to consider whether it’s good firm service and face time at the main office…. but mostly I don’t want to be at main office for two days and lose so much time just for a student recruitment event…

    1. I have a lot of questions:
       1. Are you a partner?
       2. Can someone else do this who is at the main office?
       3. Why do they want you? representation from satellite office? specific practice group? you’re the only working mom who is more than a third year?
       4. Do you feel invested in the long-term talent recruitment at your firm? “No” is a perfectly reasonable answer.

       1. 1. Not a partner – but I *expect* to be up for partner in about a year and a half
          2. omg yes – main office is the big office. They may be a couple hands short, but the primary concentration of our attorneys are in that office
          3. One aspect is representation from a satellite office. The more likely piece is that I’m good with the students, have developed a reputation as a bit of a ‘closer’ as I’ve helped bring in some top recruits that they wanted
          4. No. I feel like I should care as I do plan to be a partner one day, but it’s just not a top priority. I’m more interested when we find someone for our satellite office – but this event is very unlikely to have people interested in living in our smaller city.

          1. Perspective, and please feel free to ignore: your law firm is an institution. Meaning, it has existed for a long time and will hopefully continue to exist for a long time. If you weren’t up for partner, this would not be your problem. Since you hope to make partner, shift your thinking: bringing in the top law students is necessary for your firm to continue to be a good firm (it is, right?) for decades to come.

             Again, if you weren’t considering partner, not your problem. Since you are, it’s probably best to consider the long-term health and vitality of the firm.

             And feel free to ignore. :)

          2. This. Signed, equity partner from a branch office who couldn’t have done this without good external and internal clients.

          3. I think you should do it, both to solidify your own reputation and to have a hand in recruiting the next generation. As you get further into your career, this becomes more important. This is one of those situations in which it’s not about just this one request.

    2. Incoming lawyerly answer – it depends. At my firm, everyone is required to do a share of the non-billable, firm work. There are a handful of people who manage to never do it or fly under the radar, but unless you’re someone who already has an enormous book, I tend to find that the people who fly under the radar are also under the radar on comp decisions. So maybe they save the 3 days for the non-billable event, but if there’s a question of their comp, they don’t get the benefit of the doubt and don’t get the “bump” that the person who did the firm work gets.

       1. I used to do a lot of firm service – but just got burned out on it. When it came time for that extra “bump”, it didn’t come my way… when I pointed out the key firm service activities I took on, was told that it was not a key factor in their decision making. So, I pulled back a fair bit. I still do student recruitment when it’s the big push in the fall, but I try and keep out of it otherwise.
          I should probably mention that I also, after being somewhat volun-told, planned a student recruitment event in our local City (w/out much Firm help), which resulted in identifying a top recruit for our fall activity. And just went to Big City to present some of the summer student training.

    3. My answer depends on what level you are and what your goals are at the firm? For example, are you an associate who wants to make partner? Then go. Are you going to quit in a couple years no matter what? Don’t go.

       1. +1 – There is nothing like travel to build better connections at the firm. If it is a one off and people are coming in from all over, I would take the opportunity for facetime with others at the firm. It also gives you the chance to meet more people face to face in the office. With that said, I would aim for only doing a few things a year to check off the box of being a team player and not every event.

    4. I also think it could be good to do one big splashy thing like this and then just bug off of recruiting entirely.

       1. +1. I’m no longer at a firm but I used to participate in one big event (usually career day at my alma mater) and then talk it up in my evaluation. It gave me team spirit points and didn’t take away that much from my billable time. But I noped out of being on the committee and other time consuming recruitment endeavors.

    5. I use stuff like that to get in front of internal leaders and local external contacts and plan as many lunches, coffees, dinners and meetings, with the excuse of I’m in town, let’s meet up. Internal clients also. Manage it to maximize stuff for you.

       1. Now this idea/aspect I did not think of! So often I blow into Big City, have the meetings/hearings, etc that I had scheduled, and then head home. Since I’d have to go overnight, I would actually have the time to set up lunch or coffee with some of my clients in the Big City and meet-up with some former co-workers. There may be an upside to this non-billable bs activity…

          1. Do this – use it as an excuse to be in town and schedule coffee, in person meetings, etc. with folks who are at the mother ship. This may require extending your trip, but just try to get the office first thing on day of event, and then spend the day in the office the following day before heading home. If you can plan for these to be lighter working days (e.g., don’t lock yourself in a visitor office because a brief is due imminently) so you have a lot of flexibility, that’s best.
             – Source: Former satellite office sr associate who occasionally flew in for recruiting/nonbillable events and tried to make the most of it.

          2. +1

             Yes, yes. This is the way.

             And I would work on your attitude a little….. yikes… Other posters have told you well why this is not a bs activity.

    6. I used to run student recruiting at a large firm. I would say most of the time, people accepted these requests as they viewed it as a fun thing, but it wasn’t unheard of to say no. Do you have any clients you could also see in the city where the event is? Could your firm count service like this toward pro bono hours?

    7. It’s going to be very firm dependent whether recruiting is considered respected/valued, but, fwiw, I still remember the partners and senior associate leaders on the recruiting committee from my summer associate position 20+ years ago. When I joined the firm after graduation, I immediately thought of them as respected, go-to lawyers in the firm.
       I totally agree with the advice you received to use the (paid for) visit to the main office to set up meetings with firm leaders or peers in your practice area – or, even better, local clients. The recruiting event gives you an explanation for the trip- and I’d assume that more people would be in the office on the day of the event. Making connections within your firm is important to building your practice. Is there really no scope for internal referrals (either to you or by you)? For example, as an in house lawyer, I’ve appreciated when my outside counsel has forwarded an article or webinar by one of her partners in a different group that’s relevant to my industry. It shows that she understands my business, and I’d reach out to her for an intro if I had a billable need come up.

    8. Former biglaw partner here. Go and use the trip as an opportunity to see as many people as possible in the main office who may be relevant to your case for partnership. This is a chance to strengthen relationships and look like a team player.

    9. Because you are trying to make partner yes, you should do this. People will remember that you said no for no clear reason (like a work conflict). Go and be a team player, use the time to get dinner and breakfast with people you want in your corner, and talk about it as part of your firm loyalty / service later on.

    10. Tbh, my advice differs depending on whether you’re diverse or not. If you’re not, then I would do the event, use it as an opportunity to network, and try and beg off from further recruiting if it’s not your thing. If you’re diverse and that inflects why you’re being asked to do this, then I would be pretty forceful about declining future requests, and I honestly might consider trying to get off this one as well. I think the risks to diverse associates are higher (and the benefits much lower) of getting tied up in firm recruiting efforts. There are many different ways to help serve the firm as an institution, and recruiting doesn’t have to be yours if you don’t want to.

        1. Are you using the word to diverse to mean non-white?

           1. No. My advice would be the same for a white associate who is LGBT. It would not for a white woman.

14. Any tips for a long vacation or short sabbatical? My firm does not offer sabbaticals. After a horrible couple years, I want to try to plan a long break in the next 12-18 months. Give me something to look forward to as well as maybe test whether I can truly take a vacation in private practice. I’m picturing 3-5 weeks. I’m a partner at a 40-lawyer firm. We are not paid a salary, it’s all eat what you bill/kill, historically that has not incentivized cross training or helping on each others’ files. I have accepted that will likely not change, and I’ve accepted that my partners might “steal” 1-2 of my clients while I’m out. I believe the majority of my clients will stay with me and will respect that I’m taking a break with advance notice. I’m picturing using the next year to deepen the skillset of a couple associates, and also so one of our retiring lawyers is still around to help if needed. I work in an advisory, not litigation, area; but some clients have true emergencies (need 1-2 hours of advice within 1-2 days). I have tried working from other areas to get a change of scenery and it simply doesn’t work. (I totally get this might be impossible in a large firm; I make about $110k a year so I’m not billing $400/hour for this stuff) Any ideas at all, appreciated!

    1. I have no advice but wanted to say that as a new associate in a four person firm some time back in the dark ages, I watched a partner go to South America for a month, and he was so well prepared that not.one.single.problem arose while he was gone. This was pre-internet and pre-cell phone, so he as truly out of touch for a month. I remain in awe of him to this day. I suppose the takeaway from that is preparation, preparation, preparation. And with the instant connectivity that now exists you are going to have to set and abide by some hard boundaries. In your situation I might see if the retiring lawyer would cover emergencies for you as he/she would seem unlikely to poach your clients.

    2. Hi – I get a 4 week sabbatical next year.
       I’m planning to do a month in France.
       Two weeks in a Vrbo in Paris and 2 weeks traveling via train through Provence and the southern coast…

       1. Cool! What’s your coverage plan?

          1. None haha!
             It’s fairly standard for people to take their 4 week sabbatical- I’ll just wrap up my projects and work with my boss on coverage.

    3. What time of year are you planning to go? I think a month in Australia and New Zealand would be great if the timing works out.

    4. Budget permitting, I’d visit all the places that would otherwise be tough from the US – Asia, Oceania and Africa.

       I might do an immersion language course, or whatever hobby you have (eg cooking course in Italy).

       Climb mountains, see wildlife and swim with dolphins. That kind of thing.

15. Where do you buy favorite casual jumpsuits/rompers? I feel like half of them are clubby and half are for special occasions.

    1. I have two linen jumpsuits from Everlane I wear the heck out of on weekends in the summer. After four years of pretty constant summertime wear, they still look great. They are definitely casual, but linen plus pockets is what I’m looking for in summer clothes here in North Carolina. They currently have one in the site called a “structured cotton jumpsuit” that I’m eyeing for maybe something a little more put together. I’m not generally a fan of the overly boxy/slouchy clothes Everlane sells, but I have really liked these.

       1. Oh that’s cute – I wish they had more colors. I really like the look of this one in the black and “seagrass:” https://www.everlane.com/products/womens-linen-picnic-jumpsuit-chocolate-brown-black?collection=womens-dresses

          1. These are the ones I have in a “washed black” and a blue/white strip, but it’s almost a chambray blue with a very tiny white pinstripe. I get compliments on them and usually just am wearing them for errands and kid activities. I am very self conscious in shorts, so this is my go to on that.

    2. I’ve been living in my Free People Hot Shot Onesie. So comfortable

    3. I really like athletic ones. I have one from Targets All In Motion from a few years ago. Also have some cute but casual ones from Old Navy

       1. I have this one in black and think it’s super cute and flattering: https://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=559449002&cid=15292&pcid=15292&vid=1&cpos=30&cexp=2926&kcid=CategoryIDs%3D15292&ctype=Listing&cpid=res23050409885456689114429#pdp-page-content

    4. I have a cute one from Vuori that’s made of the same material as the excellent joggers (and about that level of formality)

    5. I bought the Balance jumpsuit from Athleta on super sale, and really really like it. It’s basically a more put together version of a sweatsuit, really. It is pretty casual, but I feel good about wearing it doing errands or to yoga class. I loved it for road trips we took this winter. A jean jacket helps elevate it a bit. I get a lot of compliments on it. I wouldn’t wear it out to dinner, but during the daytime it’s great.

       Intrigued by some of the next step up though. I have a cotton romper that I wore to death and really miss and need to replace. I just looked on Everlane and it was a similar shape to the The City Stripe Draped Jumpsuit, although a lesser fabric. Intriguing.

    6. I have a couple from Roxy that are cute and super comfortable. The price was great too.

16. Has anyone had sclerotherapy (injections to collapse spider veins and broken capillaries)? For me: on legs, around the knee area (not thighs or ankles). Interested in the pain, visual recovery, wearing the compression hose (recommendations are all over the place), and duration / degree of results from people who have personally done it and aren’t trying to sell me something. Thanks!

    1. It’s not bad pain-wise at all. Ankles were the most sensitive. It took about a half hour. Wore compression hose for a week. They are hot so best to do during cold weather. Legs looked a little bruised up after, the veins seemed to turn brownish before they desolved so recommend doing a few months before shorts season. I went to a vein doctor, forget the specialty name. Got better results than the dermatologist I went to first. I used to go back once a year during the winter for touch ups but haven’t needed to in a long time. One of the best things I ever did for myself.

    2. +1

       I’m no help, but am also interested in similar. I also wondered about laser.

    3. My mom has had both that and laser done, and what I’ve learned from her is point them out to your GP and see if they can write you a referral as a medical necessity. There are long term concerns on varicose and some of the other vein issues that depending on your age and causes may make it covered by insurance. Always worth having the conversation.

17. I am planning a trip to Yellowstone for early September. Does anyone have thoughts? Has anyone been and have do not miss items? I’ve been making my list and the people I am going with have been making theirs but it feels overwhelming and I am having trouble getting a handle on the planning.

    I want to hike obviously. I also love good food. I’m open to seeing non-yellowstone things in the area. I know Grand Tetons is close-ish. Is it a must-see? Are there museums or art galleries to see somewhere?
    We’re currently planning to fly into Bozeman and rent a car there.

    ‘

    1. Haven’t been yet, but we’re going in late August and I’m mostly following this itinerary: https://www.earthtrekkers.com/yellowstone-and-grand-teton-itinerary/

       We’re doing it as a one-way and flying into Jackson and out of Bozeman. A friend that went a few years ago said definitely go to Grand Tetons as she liked that as much or more than Yellowstone and also said that was where they did most of their hiking–Yellowstone is just so big it’s a lot of driving to see things. Her other warning was some of concessioners in the park close right after Labor Day, so just make sure you check ahead of time what will be open so you don’t get stuck far from an open restaurant or something.

       1. Agree on the caution about food outside of peak seasons. Food in the park isn’t great even during the summer, but it can be really hard to find in the off season. I’ve always hit up a grocery store in Bozeman or Jackson and bought snacks and sandwich stuff, as I’m one of those people who gets hangry if I don’t find food when I need it.

    2. Go to the Museum of the Rockies in Bozeman for the Siebel Dinosaur Complex.

       Consider getting a copy (buy/library) of Roadside Geology of Yellowstone County. This is part of a series of books that explain the geology of the area that you can see from the roads (interstate, highways). Yellowstone is, obviously, very geologically interesting. It can get a bit deep on the geology side of things, but can have some writing gems about the landscape.

       Where are you planning to stay? Bozeman? Tetons is a 5 hr drive from Bozeman or Gardiner, 6+ from Red Lodge and 3 hours from West Yellowstone. Frankly, I would focus on Yellowstone and skip planning on the Tetons unless you are planning to be out there a couple weeks. Yellowstone/Bozeman is going to plenty of stuff to keep you busy.

       1. One of the great nerdy moments of my life happened at the Museum of the Rockies. When I was a teenager and my family went on a trip to Yellowstone, we stopped in Bozeman. I insisted on going to the Museum of the Rockies because that is where my favorite paleontologist, Jack Horner, worked. Yes, I had a “favorite” paleontologist. It was the middle of the summer and so I expected all the paleontologists would be out on digs. But Jack Horner was at the museum and I got to meet him! He autographed a book for me and I still have it.

          1. As a fellow nerd, I am delighted for you!

    3. Honestly, I think that Yellowstone is skippable, but the Grand Tetons (about an hour away) are a must-see. Bozeman is also great (but the opposite direction of Grand Tetons; though I easily did all 3 on the same trip), so make sure to schedule some time there too.

       While in Yellowstone I stayed in Gardnier, which is right by Yellowstone’s north entrance (and is the closest to Bozeman). Gardnier was hit really, really hard by flooding last year so I don’t know what’s open and available.

       Unfortunately for you, this is not going to be the trip for great food. We ate at a few different places in Gardnier (there are really only a few places to eat) and it was all good but nothing to write home about and mostly things like burgers, pizza, etc. We only ate out at night, and would do a quick pre-hike breakfast and pack lunch (PB sandwiches) and hiking snacks to eat during the day. We didn’t often go to the in-the park dining options; the exception was the lodge near Old Faithful. I really enjoyed getting huckleberry ice cream there.

       While in Gardnier/Yellowstone, the only non-park thing we did was go to a local hot spring (I believe it was called Yellowstone Hot Spring); otherwise we spent all of our time in the park and hiking.

       Yellowstone is my least favorite national park, but I did enjoy hiking the Grand Canyon of Yellowstone area. We did both the North Rim and South Rim trail. We saw the sights: several hostprings, Old Faithful and Observation Point trail, a few of the boardwalks. For me the two highlights were hiking the North/South Rim Trails and driving through the Lamar Valley in the late afternoon/early evening. FWIW, I did go in July and it was just SO CROWDED. I got the impression that Yellowstone is the national park for non-hikers; which, I am glad that we are making nature more accessible but as a hiker I did not enjoy it as much.

       That being said, I loved, loved, loved the Grand Tetons. I stayed in both Victor, ID and Jackson Hole while hiking the Grand Tetons. I enjoyed the full Jenny Lake Trail (we hiked on our way there and took the boat on the way back) to include Hidden Falls and Inspiration Point and then continued into Cascade Canyon, which was excellent. Truly, truly stunning. We also did a longer hike to Surprise Lake and Amphitheater Lake. This was my favorite hike of the trip, but it is somewhat strenuous (10ish miles, decent elevation gain, switchbacks). Also really enjoyed the Phelps Lake loop. I thought Phelps Lake was so, so stunning.

       I preferred staying in Victor as Jackson Hole is very crowded. In Victor we ate at our hotel, and ate out in JH (enjoyed my meal, but nothing to write home about). The best food on the trip was definitely in Bozeman. Enjoyed Blackbird Kitchen and Nova Cafe. I really enjoy trying local beers and local food when I’m visiting somewhere new, and there was plenty of local beer to try! I have heard great things about the hike to Hyalite Lake, but did not have time to do that hike.

       As for our itinerary, we flew in and out of SLC. Drove from SLC to Victor (4 hours), stayed 2 nights in Victor for Tetons. Then drove through the Tetons to Yellowstone and cut through Yellowstone on our way to Bozeman (this took most of the day, Yellowstone traffic did not help! We did spend about 2-3 hours hiking in Yellowstone this day), spent 2 nights in Bozeman (got there around 6pm, spent a full day, then left first thing in the AM), drove from Bozeman back to Yellowstone (staying in Gardnier) and spent 2 full days/nights in YS. Then, got up early, drove to the Tetons, spent 1 more day there hiking and spent the night in JH. Left early to drive back to SLC and spent the afternoon/evening in SLC with a red eye home.

       Clearly, we don’t mind driving. We only added on the trip to Bozeman because my cousin is a student at Montana State and we wanted to see him. It was fun seeing Bozeman (I certainly get why it’s so popular now!) but we would have skipped Bozeman if not for my cousin (and our trip wouldn’t have been impacted).

       1. Also, these parks are enormous so obviously these distances all depend on where in the park you are, where you’re staying, and what gate you’re using.

       2. If Yellowstone is your least favorite NP you have not been to many NPS 😂 I’ve been twice— once for a day combined with two days in the Tetons, once for 5 days by itself — and could still do more. Note:
          -it will be cool, maybe even a chance of light snow, quite quickly after Labor Day. Trees will already be, or have changed.
          -within the park, I think mud pots and geysers are fascinating. The view on south rim trail/ artists palate is spectacular.
          -outside the park, we did a grizzly bear viewing tour through a nonprofit, which was great because it’s a safe way to say you saw a grizzly bear (narrowly missed one hiking and am not upset about that).
          -I do agree this is not a trip for food

          1. I like going to National Parks to get away from crowds and enjoy nature. Sitting in bumper to bumper traffic all day in Yellowstone was miserable for me.

             1. Go to King’s Canyon or Sequoia instead! Same mountain range, same trees, way fewer cars.

             2. (sorry I thought you were saying Yosemite, not Yellowstone!)

             3. This just wasn’t my experience at all, tho we were (reluctant) early risers— we started hiking around 7:30am and were leaving the park around 3 each day, as it looked like traffic was getting bad to get in, so that could be key.

    4. Personally, I think the Tetons are a must see, especially if you like hiking. Can you fly into or out of Jackson instead of Bozeman both ways? That way, you could tack on a few days there at the beginning or end.

       1. +1 if you like hiking prioritize the Tetons over Yellowstone

    5. How long are you staying? This makes a huge difference. You could spend a whole week in Yellowstone comfortably. I went a few years ago in August and loved both Yellowstone and Grand Teton, so I definitely recommend both. I loved being in the park in early morning and around dusk for wild-life viewing.

    6. Jenny Lake Lodge restaurant in Grand Tetons has a beautiful five-course dinner, as well as an elevated lunch that is worthy of your visit. You may want to spend an afternoon taking the boat across Jenny Lake and to one of several beautiful hiking trails and then head to the lodge for dinner. It’s a real treat to be immersed in such a beautiful natural environment and also have the pleasure of higher end dining…Hope you enjoy!!
       I

18. Andres Cuomo. What the everloving Eff is this? https://nypost.com/2023/05/04/andrew-cuomo-subpoenas-accusers-in-sexual-misconduct-case/

    1. Huh? He’s being accused of having a pattern of conduct. His lawyer is entitled to examine that.

       1. I have a feeling that we can take judicial notice of that. He resigned over it. There is an AG report. Is it really in doubt at this point? [Or is it like hearsay: even if it weren’t true, it was said enough that is solidly his reputation now.]

    2. I’m an attorney and cannot figure out what he’s trying to do here. The best explanation I have is that he’s trying to intimidate the current person by intimidating past victims – “continue down this path and I’ll subpoena you ten years from now”. Can any other lawyers offer perspective?

    3. seems like he is being sued for harassment, and his defense is getting depositions from his past accusers. Not sure how that would help his case, other than the suing party is likely also deposing them? But would they be required to share that testimony before trial? Clearly I am not a lawyer.

       1. I’m an actuary. What we do in my field is use events that have already happened to predict future events.

          So my prediction for this is that they’ll be calling these accusers s1uts who asked for it.

          Thank you for coming to my presentation.

          1. and let me guess: judges fall for that ‘she asked for it’ bs?

19. I’m planning a trip to Italy in October with my SO. We only have 1-1.5 weeks and traveling from NYC (Newark Airport). We are planning to go to Rome and Florence and debating flying in to Venice or Milan and taking the train down for a total of 3 cities. Any advice on whether we should do Milan or Venice? I’ve heard mixed things about Venice with flooding and it being very touristy, like time square. Also open to any tips/suggestions in general since I’ve never been to Italy.

    1. Sienna or Orvieto might be a really nice third city to add to Rome and Florence if you fly into Rome.

       Milan and Venice are so different that I think you’d have to just decide what experience appeals to you! Venice is touristy, but for a reason. Milan might run the risk of being not touristy enough unless you go out of your way to create an itinerary and see the sights!

       1. +1 to Sienna. I loved Sienna. I personally didn’t love Rome as a city. It was cool to do the touristy things and see the history, but the city itself is a city – with everything that comes with it. Florence I loved though as it was less busy. Milan to me trended more like Rome. It’s a city. Venice is touristy, but unique.

          1. +2 Siena is great- I lived there for a while. It’s home to the national wine museum/wine bar+ has a completely different feel from florence/rome- it was built by the etruscans on top of a mountain vs. the latter which are roman cities (gridded, in a valley, next to a river).

             It’s ~1hr south of Florence and in between is a ton of charming tiny tuscan towns- Lucca, San Gimingiano etc.

             Milan is a big city, while still Italian more like NYC or LA. Venice is lovely but lovely in the same way disneyland is lovely.

    2. I really love Venice. Yes it’s touristy but also so gorgeous. I would stay away in the summer but think it might be nice in October. There is some possibility of flooding (look up acqua alta) in the fall. Milan is interesting, it’s the economic heart of Italy, but it’s definitely less dreamy/touristy. Depends what you like to do. Also if you are only doing one week I personally would just do Rome and Florence, but I don’t like to do too many cities in too little time. It is reasonably easy to get around Italy in the train. I would do Rome/Florence and maybe a getaway in Tuscany, like a bike tour, vineyard, or trip to Sienna or San Gimignano. In Florence, check out the Oltrarno area – visit the Boboli gardens and go up to San Minato al Monte, it’s a lovely hike and a gorgeous view and was super quiet when I was there in May. Also recommend a trip to Fiesole (easy to do in the bus). Be sure to visit the original Santa Maria Novella location. In Rome, I really like the Trastevere area. We also went horseback riding on Via Appia Antica which was so much fun. Can you tell I really enjoy my exchange semester in Italy :)

       1. End of march is lovely in Venice. Fewest tourists, canals do not smell yet. Not rainy season.

          1. Really!? I was about to say spring is the worst time to go. I visited Venice in late March. It rained heavily, the canals flooded and it stank to high heaven. I HATED Venice. And I was there for ~4 days in low season so cruise travelers/day trippers weren’t the issue.

             I’ve loved literally everywhere I’ve been in Italy except Venice but man I really hated that city. It’s my least favorite place I’ve ever been!

       2. This sounds amazing! Now I’m thinking maybe do Rome and Florence and then a few days in the countryside. This is why I posted! Thank you!

       3. Venice is so underrated. Yes if you go for a day trip to hit the highlights it would be tourist mayhem. If you stay, you get to see everything at its best and uncrowded. I would say it’s worth at least 3-4 nights to be able to relax and explore rather than be decapitated by a selfie stick in San Marco.

          1. +1 I loved Venice, especially at night. It was really a highlight of all my travels. I especially loved walking off the main roads and just getting myself lost in the backstreets–going for a couple of days gives you time to do that. I wouldn’t just go for a day trip as it will feel frantic.
             I went in late September, and didnt have issues with flooding. Crowd level when I went was still low due to COVID, but I think would generally be lower in October without families with kids in school.

          2. +2. Venice is truly one of the most unique cities you will ever see.

          3. Agree with all this. Stay in Venice and enjoy having it to yourself when the day trippers leave.

          4. Agree! Do 10 days and go to Rome, Florence and Venice. The light in Venice at dusk and early AM is indescribably beautiful. You can’t experience how stunning it is with a day trip. Def. take the train in – it is one of the most gorgeous arrivals ever – you literally feel like you’re on water. October is a great time to visit.

             From Florence you can do some easy day trips to Sienna, the Tuscan countryside, etc. We actually did one of those all day bus tours once and it was kind of great because they drive you around and you can just leave the group and go off on your own and it’s easy to drink wine and not worry about driving (not normally a fan of tours but it surprisingly worked out).

             I loved Rome but I love cities, which I know isn’t universal. The energy is amazing there.

             Train is a great way to get around – they have high speed, and it’s faster than planes when you consider security and getting to/from airport. Spring for the 1st class tix. I would fly into Rome and leave from Florence or vice versa, and do Venice in between.

          5. Another vote for Venice. It is unforgettable!

             Strongly recommend you stay there overnight or as late into the evening as you can. The masses of day cruise tourists leave and it becomes a spooky little maze of foggy streets. Very romantic and picturesque. Like no other place in the world!

          6. Regardless of whether or not you love Venice (full disclosure: I hate it), it’s not “underrated” by any definition. It’s one of the most popular destinations in Europe, so much so that the city is having to implement systems to limit visitors.

             1. ha, that’s fair. I mean underrated not in popularity, but in that it has a reputation of being unpleasant chaos that you have to suffer through to see the highlights. True if you do a day trip, not if you stay.

          7. Exactly, it’s an amazing place. I studied abroad, based out of Venice. You really shouldn’t do it as a day trip. You need to walk around at night and see the town squares come to life with the last locals and students who still live there.

          8. I will never regret going to Venice, it was worth it just to see it. It’s like no place else in the world. We also just had a great couple of days there, and like someone said upthread – I didn’t love Rome other than seeing the ancient sites.

    3. I love Italy, I’m making my fifth trip there next week and have been to pretty much all the popular tourist areas and Venice is the only part of Italy I didn’t love. It just feels like Disneyworld to me. So touristy and fake. And I visited not in high season (which to be fair October isn’t high season either).

       Honestly, there is PLENTY to do in Rome and Florence for a week or more. Rome is easily 3-4 days just to see all the major tourist attractions before adding in any day trips or off the beaten path things. I’d just do Rome and Florence, and add in some day trips to the countryside. Tuscan countryside is incredible. We did a day trip to San Gimignano from Florence and loved it.

    4. We did this a few years ago – flew into Milan and then took the high speed train to Rome, Florence & Venice before returning to Milan. If I could do it over, I’d do just 1 night in Venice to get a little bit more time in Milan. Rome was very nice but Florence was my absolute favorite and it’s now my favorite city in the world, so make sure you get a good chunk of time there. Venice is very touristy and I didn’t really enjoy it.

       Overall for Italy I say drink all the wine, eat all the gelato, enjoy haggling with street vendors and book as much stuff as you can online before you go, so you don’t waste time standing in admission lines.

       1. +1 to the Florence > Rome >> Venice ranking, although Florence and Rome are pretty close for me. They’re different so it’s hard to compare but I LOVE both.

    5. Venice in Oct should be ok. Never in summer or spring. Go to places like Padua or Verona that are nearby.

       1. Because of crowds or weather? There are more cruise ships in fall than spring, I think. The Med cruising season doesn’t normally get going until mid-late May but usually lasts into October.
          But I agree about Verona! I liked that so much more than Venice.

20. I need some purse shopping help. I carry a small leather purse that has built-in credit card and money slots (3-4, not just one), which means I also don’t need to carry the added weight and size of a wallet. I do, however, need to carry 2 iPhones, a small snack and some lipsticks in a zip pocket, so most tiny purses or wristlets don’t work. I’m looking to upgrade my purse, but am having trouble finding nice purses that also have the interior credit card slots, or that are big enough for 2 phones comfortably. Willing to spend up to around $500 if anyone has any good brand suggestions.

    1. I think you’re really limiting yourself by only considering small bags with credit card slots, which tend to be “wallet on a strap” type things. Why not carry a small credit card case, not a full wallet, instead? I have one the size of a business card case and it doesn’t add any noticeable weight at all. My phone weighs much more.

       1. + I only have a credit card case (no full wallet) and I can’t recommend going this route enough

          1. Where do you put your bank notes?

             1. In 2009.

             2. Like cash?

                I almost never use cash but I do keep a $20 in one of the slots of my card holder (4 slots: 2 credit cards, ID, transit pass w/ cash).

             3. I jest, but I rarely have more than a bill or two on hand, so I just fold them up and tuck them in a slot.

             4. Well I had to Google what a bank note was, if that’s any indication.

                But, I use a Cuyana card case so there’s a zippered pocket where I keep $20.

                But, that $20 might go years without being used. It’s really just for “emergencies”.

             5. Cash? I keep a few bills on hand folded in fourths, and tuck them in the other half of the case.

             6. Cerulean, I snorted out my food.

             7. Cerulean wins the internet. I LOLed.

       2. My 20+ year old wallet is not much larger than a credit card holder. It fits in everything.

       3. I’m in mod because of multiple links or something, but also recommend a card case.

       4. +3, if you use a wallet that’s the size of a business card case (or heck, just buy a business card case), you’ll have far more options.

    2. Would you be open to card case, like this?
       https://www.target.com/p/large-card-case-a-new-day/-/A-79530767?preselect=87011957#lnk=sametab

       If you are, that will open up a lot of small purses that don’t have the slots. My BFF uses that above card case and every time she pulls it out I think it looks so nice and slim and not heavy compared to my leather wallet.

       For nice purses, I like Portland Leather the best right now. IDK if they have card lots though. There’s a sale going right now too. I got the Almost Perfect version of the purse and wallet and I cannot figure out what is not perfect about them. The Toaster bag caught my eye just now. But I’m pretty sure you’d need to add the above card case. They also have a mini-wallet that is pretty slim and might work too.

       Alternatively, the Kate Spade Morgan Double-zip Dome Crossbody has card slots and an interior zipped pocket. There are other colors, but this blue color is my favorite this spring.
       https://www.katespade.com/products/morgan-double-zip-dome-crossbody/K8926.html?frp=K8926%20VJW

    3. I like the Australian brand Status Anxiety for leather goods, and some of their small bags have 3 card slots and a zip pocket. I have a larger tote from them and my favorite belt, and the leather is really nice.

       https://www.statusanxiety.com/products/look-both-ways-green

       1. Ooh I like that green bag a lot!! I’m really not much of a seen label person, but I think that strap is so cool.

    4. I have a Tumi crossbody that I love and that fits this description perfectly. I can’t find the specific one online right now, but it has a main zippered compartment that would easily fit two iPhones, snacks and lipstick, plus another zippered pouch on the front with credit card slots. I have another one from Coach that’s a bit smaller but has credit card slots.

       1. + 1 for the Tumi brand recommendation. I love, love, love my new cross-body bag from Tumi — it holds a ginormous wallet (so you would be way ahead of me here, sans wallet), two cell phones, lipstick, keys, sunglasses, reading glasses, Metro card, parking garage badge, work security badge, face masks, hair scrunchie, and a pen. This cross-body replaced a “mom purse” and when I go into the office, I slip the Tumi cross-body into a tote bag (which carries the laptop, chargers, notebooks, cardigan, extra shoes, water bottle, etc.)

    5. Check out Latico brand leather crossbody purse! I have two in different color / leathers. They have credit card slots and can fit my two iPhone Max-es. I bought the first one from a super cute gift shop while in Seattle or Portland last summer (paid full price bc vacation goggles) but found my second one used online (much better deal)

21. Did anyone read the article in the NYT about the high quality luxury handbag “superfakes”? It was entertaining to me. I didn’t realize that there was a higher echelon of fakes that were of this quality.

    1. I knew there were better fakes and cheaper fakes, but I didn’t realize how good the better fakes had gotten in the past couple decades. As someone who carries a “ludicrously capacious handbag” that Tom Wambsgams would never approve of (today it’s a navy Longchamp tote), I do it because I need to bring stuff with me. The Roy women hardly ever appear to have handbags – they have someone carrying anything they need apart from their phone.

       1. Do you use your bag in bank robberies?

       2. Do you carry your flat shoes for the subway and your lunch pail in it?

          1. I do put my lunch in it! Usually wrapped up in a reusable cloth from the Japanese grocery store. I wish I had flat shoes for the subway in it.

             Is it just me, or is Tom kind of hot this season? I’ve been more of a Shiv/Tabitha/Nate (Shiv’s Ex)/Karolina sort, with a side of “If I have to pick a Roy I pick Roman.”

             1. Omg YES, Tom is weirdly hot this season. Getting some of those Mr. Darcy vibes.

             2. They say you can tell a lot about a person by the way he treats his inferiors.

             3. I think Tom’s being *less* abusive towards Greg this season, which makes Tom more appealing. And Karolina is being more abusive to others, which makes her less appealing.

             4. I’m not sure Tom is being less abusive to Greg, but you more see his motivations. He gets shit on, then he shits on Greg. Rinse. Repeat.

             5. You all are my people. I don’t have that many people to discuss the show with, but I have been All In since day one.

    2. I am not one for fakes, or for that matter obviously branded anything – but this makes perfect sense to me. The price of a “designer” purse has gotten absurd in even the last few years. It doesn’t even seem related to anything that can be explained. It seems like these things just need to be “exclusive” and because we have come to a point in society where “average” people are willing to pay exorbitant prices for these so-called luxury goods, the luxury goods need to get more expensive in order to maintain their level of exclusivity. Makes sense that at some point the people who care about having a nice quality bag that also has designer logos on it would start paying for expensive knock-offs. It’s actually been happening for a while, I think.

    3. This isn’t new and it makes total sense, most of the price of a designer bag is just profit to the label. Any highly skilled bag maker can make an identical bag to a designer one with the right pattern, so you’re just paying materials and labor cutting out the fashion house’s profit.

    4. Recommend the novel Counterfeit! It’s fiction, but really fun and on this topic.

    5. There used to be a robust community on red dit dedicated to these bags but I think the sub got deleted. I never participated but it was fascinating. r / repladies was the name I think. They had whatsapp groups with specific contacts in factories and everything. There was a watch one too.

    6. I haven’t read the purse article, but a few years ago the NYT did a similar article about athletic shoes. I remember reading that Nike switched production to one of the manufacturers of fake shoes because their quality was better.

       1. Linke to article: https://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/22/magazine/22fake-t.html?searchResultPosition=2

    7. I will read it! I have a friend who lives in Hong Kong and she says if you know the right people, you can get bags that come out of the back door of the same factories that make the real stuff. She gave me a “Chanel” wallet I carried for years, mainly because it was exactly the right size. I have mixed feelings about all of this, but since it was already manufactured and paid for, I figured the best thing to do was to use it. It was super, super nice.

22. I like this dress a lot, but don’t know the brand. Is anyone familiar with it?

    1. I have a sort of Chanel-type black tweed blazer that I got from Mango early last year (and that I think may have been featured here). It’s good quality, not the level of Theory, say, but nice.

    2. Mango? Yes, they’re a major Spanish brand that is as old as I am (and I’m an elder millennial). They have a much bigger presence in Europe and Asia than in the US. They’re a bit fast-fashiony/ high street brand and are comparable in price point and quality to Zara or Topshop, I think. I have a few older pieces that have lasted decades, but that’s all fashion these days.

    3. Yeah, it’s a major mid-level brand. The quality matches the price, but I think they do often hit above their weight on style.

    4. I love Mango. I’d say the quality is similar to &Other Stories, Everlane, Aritzia, etc. Mid-level, lots of polyester but well made.

23. Please help! I am trying to find an office chair where the arms are adjustable – not just flip up, but you can adjust their height. Up to $200. Been looking a lot and yet to find anything. Any recs?

    1. I think most of the ergonomic chairs on Am*zon have arm rests that can be adjusted height wise.

    2. Take a look at Costco, if you want a decent chair for this price point. You can also go there in person and try them out. We’ve bought a couple there. It is so individual what chair works best for your back/support needs etc..

       I think for the less expensive chairs, it is common to have one option – either flip up the arm wrests, or up/down, but not both.

    3. I have a bad back and my physical therapist recommended chairs from Steel Case which are way too expensive but I recently purchased a Branch chair which has what you are describing plus the option to add a head rest. The total cost was about $400 which I know is above your budget. If you can possibly swing it I think it’s worth it but I completely understand the budget. I just don’t know if a good quality chair with adjustable arms will be in that price range. My old chair was around $200 bought before I knew I would be wfh everyday and it was horrible after 3 years.

    4. Good luck. I wanted arms that flip up AND adjust and it seems like it’s mostly an OR situation. I bought mine used from an office supply warehouse type place (Kantor’s in Oakland, if you’re in the Bay Area. It’s amazing), and I chose the flip up option.

       I was using a pretty chair before (the upholstered-seat wooden chair that came with my pretty desk), but just having this one has made a huge difference.

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