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While the Stuart Weitzman strappy sandal is still going strong (ooh, with some colors on sale for 50% off), this pictured sandal with slightly thicker straps is just as sexy and feels a little more 2018 — and it's more affordable to boot, with lots of reviewers singing its praises for comfort. It comes in a ton of colors, but I like this simple taupey one. It's $130 at Nordstrom, Amazon, and there's one slightly funkier option at Anthropologie. ‘Lindsay' Ankle Strap Sandal
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Sales of note for 9.30.24
- Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 50% off select styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
- Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Fall Cyber Monday sale, 40% off sitewide and $5 shipping
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Anonymous
Summer dress suggestions for pear shaped women? Casual rather than work wear.
I am very tiny on top with a large rear/hips. Not a fan of girly dresses/fit and flare and I can’t bare the thought of paying $25 to alter a cheap summer dress.
Anonymous
I have a denim midi-length dress from ON that is flattering on my pear shape. The top is a little blouson-y, but there’s a true waist and the skirt is just loose. Since it’s denim, I can dress up or down (have worn with Stan Smiths for instance).
Anonymous
Actually, I guess it’s chambray, not denim, or it wouldn’t be flowy at all…
Anon
I have a floral maxi dress from Modcloth that I’ve gotten compliments on (I have a similar body type). It’s teal/turquoise on the top half and floral on the bottom.
Anonymous
Fit and flare doesn’t have to be ridiculously flared. I usually size down for my top and they end up looking pretty sleek because the flare is just hip sized on me.
Anonymous
I mean stuff like this, it’ll look different on you than the model because you’re shaped differently: https://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=297900012
Marillenbaum
Okay, you inspired me and I just bought that dress. I thank you for encouraging me to buy more stuff.
Anonymous
I agree with this. I’m enough of a pear that most fit-and-flare doesn’t actually look like much of a flare when I’m wearing it. I
Anonymous
empire or maxi dresses? emphasize your waist
Anonymous
I found a shirtdress last year that worked. Not having a built in waist and instead having a tie made it adjustable to my small waist with no alterations and it wasn’t grippy in the hips. Mine was from Dillard’s Antonio Melani, which tends to have enough room in the hips.
Anonymous
This may sound crazy but try a jumpsuit. I am similarly shaped and got a jumpsuit that is awesome.
anon513
Those of you who do online dating and are dating multiple people, how exactly do you handle it when there is definitely one front-runner? Do you delay going out with your second-choice option as long as possible to see how things go with your favorite? I have no idea how to do this. I am definitely a one-guy kind of woman, and I cannot imagine sleeping with someone and still going on dates with others (even if I don’t sleep with them), but I keep getting the advice to go out with the back burner guy to keep me distracted and not too invested in the one I really like.
FWIW, nothing physical has happened with either beyond making out, but I am sure that will change soon.
Anonymous
Everyone has their own comfort with this. Personally I tried to keep seeing other people even after a few dates with someone I liked, but always found it hard not to focus on the one guy. And I’ve never been comfortable sleeping with someone until we’ve had the talk and agreed we’re not seeing other people, but I realize many other people feel differently.
Baconpancakes
I emotionally disengage, just a tiny bit, so that I’m NOT a one-guy woman, and I date them both. Because that is what gives me the emotional restraint to judge what’s really going on, and whether I want to see one person seriously. It was helpful to me, because it let me see clearly what I really did want (my SO) and what I didn’t want (the charming ex-Marine, the JAG attorney, the English teacher), even though they were all attractive in various, different ways.
The advice you’re getting (go out with the back burner guy and don’t get too invested) is the only way I know to date casually. If you’re ok jumping right in, and the guy you’re into is also interested in jumping right in, you don’t have to keep dating other people. But if he’s not as into you as you are into him, either cut it off or keep seeing other people.
Why do you feel like you can’t just start dating the one guy more seriously?
Anonymous
It’s ok to be a one-man kind of woman :) It’s ok to go on two dates in one week with someone you really like. It’s ok to want to make things exclusive after a few dates if you really hit it off. You don’t have to play the field. And imagine if you were the other guy – would you not feel crappy to know you were just a distraction?
Anon
I did this, and just scheduled a date, had dinner, and had fun. There is no “managing it” other than not overlapping them in your schedule. What happened with me is that I dated a guy until I liked another one better and dropped the ones that I didn’t like as much (usually a slow phase out). Don’t delay going out with a guy just to see what happens with another, the alternate guy will disappear.
At one point I was dating three or four guys (slept with only one though), and one became the front runner after three weeks and is now a hubby.
Anonymous
I’ve never dated online, so take this with a grain of salt, but I think you’ve provided your own answer. If you’re a one-guy kind of woman, and you can’t imagine going on dates with others while you’re sleeping with one guy, then it sounds like you need to have a DTR talk and agree to be monogamous before sleeping with someone.
If you’re not at that point with any one guy, then keep seeing anyone you’re legitimately interested in, and keep going on dates with new guys who you might be interested in. However, I don’t think you should back-burner anyone to keep yourself distracted/not invested in someone else. It doesn’t seem to be working, since there’s a clear distinction between back-burner dude and the “one you really like” in your post. And it’s not fair to back burner dude, who is presumably looking to date someone for whom he is not “second choice.”
east coaster
When I started dating my current partner, I was already seeing two other guys. I kept casually seeing the other two about once a week each until my current boo and I had been seeing each other for about a month. I never went beyond making out with the backburner guys, I don’t know if that makes a difference though.
I knew I was crazy about this current guy really early on, so for me it was helpful to keep seeing the other guys because 1) it kept me from being too clingy/available before he was all in, and 2) kept me from getting too invested/idealizing him before I really got to know him.
Anonymous
I mean, are you interested at all in the back burner guy? If you’re not, then there’s nothing to gain by seeing him again. Don’t do that to yourself (or him). Use other distraction options or ways to avoid obsessing over the one you like.
Anon
Once I felt someone was a ‘backburner’ guy, I’d stop seeing him and just focus on new first dates in addition to balancing the continued dates with front-runner.
Otherwise it felt gross to be leading on the ‘backburners’ and never ended well with them anyway. Interested to hear other perspectives though.
Anon
“I am definitely a one-guy kind of woman, and I cannot imagine sleeping with someone and still going on dates with others (even if I don’t sleep with them),”
You have your answer. You – you personally, not women who are wired differently – wait until the relationship is exclusive to get physical.
Anonymous
I would date a bunch of guys but had a rule that I wouldn’t sleep with more than any one at once. I also tried to stay away from convos re future activities farther than the next date. But I never had much taste for second or third dates that I knew weren’t going anywhere, so it’s more that I would continue to go on first dates while dating the front runner.
Anonymous
I think the point is not to close yourself off, so you don’t really know if they’re your second choice until you go out with them. Don’t continue to date them if you’ve decided you don’t like them.
Anon
I think that’s not the best advice. Know yourself and know what you’re looking for. Be harsh when you date, if things don’t click end it. You don’t need to keep a stable of maybes around to get to one good one. Just be open to the idea that you might meet one and stop seeing people you’re trying to make fit.
Cat
For the poster looking for a similar low-cost pendant:
https://www.jcrew.com/p/womens_category/jewelry/jewelryshop/double-circle-pendant-necklace/H9227?sale=true&color_name=gold&isFromSale=true
Anonymous
Oooh – thank you!!
east coaster
Anyone have experience with in-person styling at mm.lafleur? I’m going next week. Are the stylists realistic about what actually looks good? Did you feel pressured to buy something you weren’t sure about?
Anon
I have visited the Bryant Park location a couple of times when I traveled to NY for work.
I had good experiences. I didn’t have the same stylist both times. They pre-pulled things for me based on my questionnaire, but then went and got more things during my visit based on my feedback (i can never find anything long enough.)
I didn’t find them to be pushy. On one garment, I said, “this color does nothing for me” and my stylist agreed rather than arguing with me.
Overall I found it a pleasant experience and a chance to try on a couple of things not yet available online.
Anonymous
I’ve done this. I had a good experience overall. It was amazing to be able to try on so many different pieces/sizes after just looking at them online. I feel like I got a much better sense of which shapes and sizes fit me best. That said, I did feel a little bit pressured into some things I was really only luke-warm on. A couple of dresses sort of clung to my lower stomach in a way that made me uncomfortable (I adamantly refuse to wear shapewear) and she was sort of trying to convince me that it was fine. I don’t know …. Like I said, overall a good experience, and really nice to be able to try a ton of stuff on. But yea … I felt a little pressured.
buffybot
Hi there — I just did an in-person styling appointment because I was going back to work after maternity leave. I found it very successful and ended up buying a bunch. I found my stylist to react pretty well to my guidelines (some of which I said in advance so they were reflected in the clothes she pulled, some of which I said as we went along). E.g., I said that I wanted clothes I could readily pump in (so zippers or 2 pieces), I tended to like fit and flare or shift style dresses, and I was in the market for a pencil skirt.
She recommended a variety of stuff but I was pretty open and honest with what I liked and what I didn’t, and I didn’t feel pressured. For instance, one dress was beautiful but I said it was too much of an artsy creative vibe for my office — she had me add a belt and jacket to see the alternative styling, but didn’t push anything. Things I didn’t like, I just gave right back to her. I might have felt a little awkward if I only ended up buying one item, but I actually really liked a wide variety of the stuff I tried on — even some of the stuff I wouldn’t have picked myself. Also they seem to have some stuff in store that has sold out online, just as an FYI.
NYC
I’ve gone a few times and had great experiences each time. I’ve had them make a note of a dress I really liked on my account but wasn’t in the budget then, and they had it pulled for me the next time. I think they were really honest and realistic about what worked and what didn’t.
anon
I went to a pop-up last week in my city….I was not impressed. I’m a size 12, and have bought probably $1k worth of clothes from MMLF in the past year, since the last pop-up in my city. They had two dresses for me to try on, 3 pairs of pants, a couple tops, and that was it. The stylist acted totally disinterested in helping me, AND she ordered the wrong color of an item I asked to order. She was basically like…here’s a cream top and here are black pants, and walked away. She just kept repeating that they had nothing else in my size available.
I say all of this specifically about my size, as the person next to me was a size 6, had two stylists working with her, and she seemed to have endless items to try on and they were giving her great advice.
I’ve never felt so embarrassed about my size before.
Rainbow Hair
I’m sorry you were made to feel that way. You probably know this, but there is nothing wrong with your body… maybe something wrong with the clothes _for_ your body. But nothing wrong with your body.
Anonymous
I had a similar experience with my assigned stylist, who DGAF once she learned I’m a 12 or 14. I voted with my (nicely shod) feet.
Anonymous
I had a similar problem (Chicago location), but my size was 4-6. They didn’t have most of the things I wanted to try in my initial email request, and NONE of the things I asked for that were not in my initial request.
But I would look at it a bit differently. Your size is incredibly common and popular, which is why it was sold out / out getting cleaned after so many people tried it on / etc…… It was an MM LaFleur problem for not having more of those desirable sizes available.
I was really annoyed, as it was really inconvenient for me to take time off in the middle of a work day and the whole point of me being there were to try these specific things on.
Anonymous
I went to the Boston location a few months ago and was also not impressed. They send you a questionnaire before the appointment, and I had provided detailed answers (no dresses, no black; specifically interested in pants) that the stylist had clearly not read at all. I felt like I was just getting the same clothes and spiel she pulled for every pear-shaped size 4!
S in Chicago
Yeah, this is a real “comfort” shoe.
Never too many shoes...
Kat, I have often suggested your footwear choices are a bit frumpy, but I am in love with these and want all the colours!
Anon
I have 7 more vacation days that I have to take in 2018, otherwise I lose them. I will probably end up traveling alone because I’m single and it’s so hard to coordinate trips with girlfriends. Any suggestions or tips on solo traveling? Where to go, traveling on a budget, cheap flights out of NYC? I’m all ears!
Anon
Miami?
Anon
Reykjavik Iceland. The weather is excellent in the summer – when I went daytime stayed between 60 and 70, and nighttime was around the low 50s, but night only lasted about 7 hrs, and there are direct flights from NYC. I got a round trip from Texas for less than $700 so you can definitely find deals from NYC – look to Iceland Air
S
Quebec and go to awesome restaurants (which I find fun alone)?
Anonymous
Subscribe to Scott’s Cheap Flights! He has tons of flights out of NYC. I’m always jealous it’s not my airport.
Anonymous
+1 – also do the wineries on the North Fork or make a big trip to outlet malls at Woodbury or a daytrip to NJ malls
AIMS
This may not be what you’re looking for but if you don’t end up planning a trip, consider taking some time off here and there – e.g., Fridays off in August, maybe 1-2 “shopping days” in November to get some holiday shopping done; maybe a long weekend here and there, esp. if you can do something like take 2 days for the week of July 4th and end up with 5 days off altogether.
Ellen
This is an option for me since I can NOT go anywhere for more then a day or 2 b/c the manageing partner is ALWAYS lookeing for me–whether to woo NEW cleint’s or to bill old cleints or to woo old cleints or new cleints etc, I am the firm’s go to person on all of these things. FOOEY! As a result, I can NOT go on a real vacation. That is one reason why I want to get MARRIED, so that I can make my own mind up and do what I want, after I have babie’s! YAY!!!!!!!
Senior Attorney
Yeah, one year I had a lot of unused vacation days and I took every Friday off between November 1 and the end of the year. It was amazing.
Marillenbaum
I’d suggest two short trips that you take during the work week, so you can still be in town for the weekend (life admin waits for no one!) and save on flights/car rentals. Personally, if I had the time and funds, I’d spend one trip in Vermont looking at leaves and staying at a cute B&B, and one closer to the holidays somewhere properly warm (Miami, or Barbados if you feel like leaving the country–I lived there briefly and the rum and beaches are incredible, plus it’s small enough that you can do most of the touristy things in less than a week).
Anonymous
What kind of travel do you enjoy and what time of year are you thinking? I don’t have great late summer recommendations, but if you are looking fall or winter, I would recommend solo visits to Lisbon, Sevilla, London, Copenhagen, Berlin, Amsterdam, Mexico City, Lima, and Rome, all of which you should be able to get to relatively easily from NYC. If you don’t enjoy city breaks, Wyoming and Montana are big on my list for a week, or Miami for a long weekend come December. Scott’s Cheap Flights and fathomaway.com give me a lot of inspiration for future trips.
Anonymous
Anyone have experience owning an upholstered headboard for more than a few years? I really like the look of them (especially in a light color fabric) but am worried the fabric will get dinged or stained over time. I like to hold onto furniture a long time. Am I worrying about nothing?
Anonymous
We’ve had one for, oh, 10 years maybe? It hasn’t been stained at all, but it doesn’t get direct sunlight (and we normally keep the shades closed in our bedroom – even during the day usually). The one problem/complaint I have is that the top gets dusty and it’s hard to clean. Ours is kind of like a canvas/burlap material and while I’ve tried vacuuming, it doesn’t quite get it.
AIMS
Never had a problem, I am on my second one now & only replaced the last one due to size. We never did cream but had a very light beige and now have a light to med. gray. Oh, and you can clean the top with a lint brush – looks like new!
Anonymous
Don’t let your head touch it! And if you have pets don’t go a light color.
Anon
Same thought as you, but I have enough allergies that I’ve decided against one on the grounds that I don’t need more places for dust to hide near my face while I’m sleeping.
LAnon
Cats + upholstered headboard is a terrible combination. My cats quickly learned that a GREAT way to get me awake and out of bed quickly was to sharpen their claws on the headboard. Nothing launches you from peaceful slumber to rage quite as quickly as the sound of your furniture being destroyed inches from your head. (Except maybe the sound of a cat vomiting a few feet away on the rug.)
Anonymous
I have an off white one that got very stained from leaning against it with wet hair. Wouldn’t recommend if you’re a night showerer.
Ellen
Stick to fine wood. I had a queen size bed with a cloth headboard, and my ex refused to put a pillow back there when he leaned his head on it. Over time, it got all stained with his greazy hair, and there was NOT a thing I could do about it besides get a new bed when I dumped him. I kept telling him to put a pillow behind his greazy head, but he didn’t, and as a result, it cost me alot when I wanted to rid my apartement of all things that reminded me of him. That greazy headboard cost alot more then the Egypitian Cotton sheets he also destroyed. FOOEY on men that ruin our stuff and then leave to find another women to have s-x with! I now am very carful in who I choose to get into my new bed, even tho I will get a King sized bed if I wind up moveing to the West Side. Dad says we may have to start lookeing again b/c he does NOT want to be on the East side and he does NOT like takeing cabs to Colombia. FOOEY!
Anonymous
Going to a neighborhood pool party tomorrow night at a neighbor’s house — she’s asked us to bring appetizers or dessert. Are tiny hot dogs wrapped in pretzels a weird thing to bring?
pugsnbourbon
Tiny hot dogs are always welcome, especially when wrapped in pretzels.
anon
Do you make the pretzel dough or buy it pre-made?
Anonymous
Exactly, do tell us more!
Anonymous
Super Pretzel – freezer section. I am supa lazy!
Anonymous
I have never heard of this. Exciting news!
Marillenbaum
Not at all! That sounds amazing!
Houda
I have maybe 8 ankle pants from uniqlo and decided I want to wear them with white shirts as my uniform whenever I am at the office. I have been eyeing the Brooks Brothers non-iron tailored fit because they have petite sizing, but these don’t seem to go on sale in the UK. Any dupes or would you recommend I splurge because quality is worth it? I plan on buying 2 or 3 so would like to get some feedback from the hive.
AIMS
Have you tried the uniqlo shirts? I’ve had good luck with their white shirts in the past.
Houda
I haven’t. I’d have to check if they have cotton ones; I stink with polyester and developed an aversion since my teenage years that I can’t shake
Anonymous
I found the B.B. no-iron shirts stiff as a board. I donated them.
Houda
Thanks for letting me know they are not comfy
Anonymous
I ended up with cotton poplin blouses with elastane instead, they are more comfortable for long days. Mine are a random mix of BR and Lafayette 148.
Anonymous
Why? You own clothes now right? This seems boring and requires you to make a big new purchase.
Houda
I am boring so it fits my profile
Violette
I love the Brooks Brothers non-iron tailored fit. I’ve slowly been phasing button-down shirts out of my wardrobe because I’ve found I’m more comfortable these days with easily-layered blouses and cardigans, but I spent a solid 2-3 years exclusively wearing the Brooks Brothers shirts as my work uniform. I’m super lazy so I adore shirts I can throw in the laundry and dryer and have them come out ready to go. I also had several Banana Republic shirts, so you could look into those for potentially cheaper, but I did feel that the quality was a little better in Brooks Brothers (maybe not noticeable to my coworkers though, more of a just how I felt in them thing).
For context, I’m tall and wear a size 0-2 in those shirts, so I’m not sure if my experience holds true for petite sizing and the like!
Houda
That’s a bit the idea. I need something to wear without overthinking, especially on those long due dil days
Anonymous
Which ankle pants? I’m curious which ones from Uniqlo are good enough to make the “uniform” cut for you – I want to make a uniform myself and I love Uniqlo, but have had trouble finding pants that hit right.
Houda
It’s just the women’s smart ankle pants trousers. I bought them quite some time ago 2 at a time before they added 2 loops for a belt. They are not natural fibers and are made in China and have a sort of elastic band at the back but I have been wearing them non-stop and just tossing them in the wash. They come in all kinds of colors and every season there are few more. I wear them with a nude for me block heel pump to elongate my legs. If I want to dress them down, I wear a simple v-neck tshirt slightly draped to cover the flat elasticated part, otherwise a silk blouse. But I recently wanted to switch to something slightly more structured than my flowy blouses.
I hope this helps
ANP
Just found out my husband is getting a huge, long-awaited, and well-deserved promotion — woo hoo! However, his base salary is not going up a ton — at this level, his bonus compensation starts to make up a much bigger chunk of his overall pay, and it’s variable depending on what kind of year his portion of the business has.
Talk to me about budgeting for big bonuses like this (mid-five-figures). Do we just pretend that money doesn’t exist, ever, until it arrives — and then treat it like a happy windfall? That’s my inclination but I’m curious to hear what others do.
Anonymous
28% set aside for taxes, 10% to celebrate, the rest put to investment and house payment.
Anonymous
+1
This is my style too.
Ellen
First of all, congratulations to your husband! I am not married, but this is a lot like what I have now as being a partner in my firm. When I was an assocate, I had a salary that went up each year; from 65,000 when I started all the way up to $650,000 in 9 year’s. But now that I am a partner, I have a draw, but ONLY on a base of $600,000 (a pay LOSS), but I am eligible for profit sharing, so I am able to make up to 3x my draw as a bonus after year end if I meet all of my billieng and new client objectives, which are set each Janueary by the manageing partner. Last year I did NOT make the 3x bonus, but I came close. This year, I hope to get there b/c dad has all of my bonus goeing into my 401k, which I can NOT touch until retirement. This way, Dad feels that I will be protected if I do NOT find a husband.
This is what you should do with your husband’s bonus. Put it in a 401K, and leave it alone, b/c it is new money to you so you wont be abel to spend it. That is what I do. I live ONLEY off my salary and leave whatever I get as a bonus to my 401K. Dad says this is smart planning and I agree, since he is in charge for now and will always be in charge, even if I do find a guy to MARRY me! That is b/c Dad wears the pants in my family, until I do, and no guy will EVER be as smart as Dad, even if he does help me to become a mother! YAY!!!!!
Anon
DH and I both have bonus-heavy compensation plans and we basically live like the bonuses don’t exist during the year. We pay for our monthly expenses out of our salaries and usually end up saving about 90-95% of our bonuses every year (we usually take out a small chunk to treat ourselves to one “bonus present” each and may dip into it every once in awhile for a car down payment or to pay for part of a vacation). This has generally worked well for us, provided we both get bonused out every year (DH was between jobs for a portion of the year once and it did sting some not to add much to our savings that year).
Violette
As a former Wall Street trader, this is exactly what I did. Pretend the money doesn’t exist, live a lifestyle solely financed by my regular salary, and then treat it as a happy windfall when it arrives. I splurged on one bonus present each year, set aside money to finance a nice vacation the next year, and put the rest into savings (in nearly identical percentages to Anon above).
Anecdotally, the friends I have who put their bonuses towards higher rent on nicer apartments, and who spent money in anticipation of covering the bills with their bonus, are the ones who are currently miserable in their jobs. Getting stuck in a position where you are in financial trouble if your bonus isn’t as large this year or where you can’t take a career risk because you committed yourself to a higher lifestyle is not fun for anyone.
Anonymous
I’ve never lived in a cold climate and now have to go to Scandinavia for an extended business trip this winter.
Recommendations for HG gloves, hats, scarves and socks from those of y’all that live in more frigid parts of the country/world?
Ellen
I recommend everything from the North Face. Go to the Mall in Weschester and they have a store with Everything to keep you warm, from boots to gloves to parka’s. The only thing they don’t sell there to keep you warm in Scandanavia is a man. THAT, you will have to find on your own. I have plenty of guys that want to keep me warm, but I do NOT want to waste my time with them b/c they do not want to marry me, just fool around with me. FOOEY on that!
Anonymous
Like…what part of Scandinavia? climates of the south (near other EU countries) vs the north (arctic circle) are going to be really different. And which part of winter? Jan is going to be different from Nov or Feb.
Anonymous
I mean, generally, mittens are warmer than gloves. Have a hat that covers your ears, fleece lined to block wind. Have a coat that covers your butt – mid thigh or knee length is good. It should fit big enough to wear a sweater underneath. your winter weather layers should not be sausage tight to each other – the reason you wear layers is to trap layers of body warmed air in between them and that keeps you warm. So, thick socks wedged into boots won’t keep your feet warm.
Marillenbaum
Grew up in northern Utah, used to live in Austria: long underwear is your friend! By warming up with the base layer, your extremities don’t feel the cold quite as much. LL Bean makes great quality cold-weather gear and their customer service is great (so if you aren’t sure what to buy, they can really help you make the choice!) Mittens are warmer than gloves, but if you want gloves, get lined ones: mine are Lands End, leather gloves lined with cashmere. Make sure your hat covers the tops of your ears. I’d also recommend a wool scarf, and wear it knotted around your neck and tucked into your coat; if you leave holes for the air to get in, you can really feel them! Best of luck!
C2
Yes, please share what city or region and when. Conditions, temp and snow vs just wet/precipitation in Copenhagen is vastly different than Stockholm or Helsinki which are different that northern Sweden or Norway. At minimum you will need a parka. Check out Eddie Bauer, North Face or Columbia. Thigh to knee length. Make sure the outer layer is waterproof if you’ll be somewhere where it can be drizzly.
Truly waterproof boots are your best friend. If you’re in a major city (Copenhagen, Stockholm) people dress very stylishly, you won’t see adults running around in Sorrels. Look for a sleeker waterproof boot with some traction. If you’re further North, perhaps a more robust option. Not wellies/Hunters. Lots of wool socks – Smartwool or Bombas are great.
Saysfaa
Alpaca. Sweaters and scarves rather than socks and long johns because they can be taken off when you get too warm. You just need a windproof layer if you are outside. Cashmere is about as warm but much more expensive and vicuna even more so. I think these are warmer than any synthetic fabrics. They are much less itchy and far warmer than wool.
Otherwise, covering your ears is the single thing that will make the most difference. Second, is getting out of the wind so have a windproof layer either to add over your clothes or as part of your clothes.
Third, fourth, and fifth are far behind first and second and are much closer to being in a dead heat with each other.
Third is insulation under your feet when you are outside so if you don’t get good boots, at least get shoes with room to add felt insoles. Fourth is the right amount of roominess within your clothes (including mittens/gloves and boots) … too tight is cold but so is too loose… you want air space available to heat with your body heat but not so much space that you can’t heat it. Fifth is fewer division between parts of your body – mittens are warmer than gloves; suspenders are warmer than a belt – concept, here, lol, not fashion advice (fashion advice is why I am here, lol.)
Headboard
We have 3 cats and are not the cleanest people, and our upholstered headboard is about 5 years old and going strong. If you are worried about cat scratches try ultrasuede. We don’t directly lean in it that much because it’s more comfortable to have a pillow behind against it, so maybe that helps.
Southern Dress Code
Dress code advice: I’m in the Southeast US. New to neighborhood. DH and I will join a July neighborhood “cocktail supper” fundraiser event. I am thinking of wearing a navy/beige lace sheath dress and dressy sandals. He should wear a blazer, right?
SouthernAnon
In my mid-size southern city, you’d stick out as a bit overdressed, and if it’s outdoors, you’ll quite possibly melt.
Ann
Depends on whether it’s an indoor or outdoor event. If it’s indoors (someone’s home or maybe somewhere like a local club), what you describe seems okay, although you may be more formal than many.
If the event is outdoors at all–cocktails on the lawn or whatever–you are seriously overshooting. Wear a pretty sundress or garden-party look, like an eyelet top and breezy skirt. I’d stay away from anything dark, like navy or black. Avoid anything that looks dark or heavy. Dressy sandals are good, so long as they are flat or have a block heel for walking on the lawn.
Your husband will almost certainly be the only guy in a blazer–unless you’re talking about something like linen or seersucker. I’d suggest a colorful shirt (pastel, pale blue, even a print or stripe) with collar open, khaki pants, and loafers. Add a summery tie if he is a buttoned-up type.
Donating to separate families separated at the border.
Splits donations to 14 groups. They are listed at the site, so you can choose just one or a few if you want.
https://secure.actblue.com/donate/kidsattheborder
Reliable Salary Statistics?
Can anyone recommend reliable source(s) for salary information for in-house lawyers, particularly in the SF Bay Area? I am doing research for a salary negotiations and am getting widely differing data points.
In the alternative, if readers are comfortable sharing salary info anonymously, can we do an informal salary survey here?
Rivka
Ask for what you want or you won’t get it. The same rule is universal, including at LGPs. My husband never did that until I asked him. Now he is there on his own?
Anonymous
Where?