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Updated: Apr 1, 2019 219 Comments · by

Tuesday’s TPS Report: Shorts with Split and Slant Pockets

The Personal Shopper (TPS) |

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. ASOS Shorts with Split and Slant Pockets (Corporette's April 1 pick)You know what I hate? Buying formal shorts and then finding that they’re too tight in the leg. So I’m loving the notched detail to the hem on these cool ASOS shorts (which, of course, have a matching blazer). They’re $47.04, sizes 1(?)-14. ASOS Shorts with Split and Slant Pockets Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-2) Psst: Curious to see our last roundup of shorts suits? Oddly enough, we last rounded them up on this very day last year.

Workwear sales of note for 12.5.23

Our favorites are in bold!

Kid- and Family-Related Sales

  • Crate&kids – Free shipping sitewide; up to 50% off toy + gift event; free monogramming for a limited time only (order by 12/15)
  • J.Crew Crewcuts – 40% off your purchase with code
  • Graco – Holiday savings up to 35% off; sign up for texts for 20% off full-price items
  • Pottery Barn Kids – Up to 50% off toys, furniture & gifts
  • Walmart – Up to 25% off top baby gifts; big savings on Delta, Graco, VTech, Fisher-Price & more

Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  2. KLG

    Maternity work shirt help needed. In order to buy shirts that fit my belly, I’m definitely wearing larger maternity sizes than my pre-pregnancy size (usually a small, buying medium or large maternity shirts depending on how much stretch they have in them). However, I don’t have broad shoulders or a large chest (I’ve gone from a B to a C) so I find the necklines are all pretty low or I have to make sure to hold a hand against my shirt when bending over, etc. because everything is big in the chest. Any one know any brands/styles that are big in the belly and tight in the chest?

    • RR

      I found stretchy cotton to be my friend. I may have been deluding myself, but I found that Gap Maternity did a lot of essentially t-shirts that could be dressed up. I did lots of that with blazers or cardigans.

    • Honestly

      I had good luck with 2008 and 2010 vintange Liz Lange at Target (easy to get to) and also with Destination Maternity.

    • Diana Barry

      ASOS has maternity that fits that description – I had to size up to accommodate b**bage and the shoulders were pretty small too. You might be able to get your regular size there and have it work.

      Also, GAP has maternity camisoles that are pretty stretchy, which I layered under super low-cut stuff.

    • ContractsinTX

      I can’t point to a specific brand, but I wore camis under everything when I was pregnant in order to raise the neckline.

    • EB0220

      I have the same problem and just wear a cami under everything. I like the Gap Maternity camis.

      • Shay-La

        Me too. Except, I just by cheap camis (Forever21, H&M, etc.) because they are cheaper and can stretch around the belly, but stay nice at the neckline.

    • Samantha

      I had a similar figure when pregnant (narrow shoulders and chest, big belly) and the only two things that helped me were: layering and stretchy fabrics.
      I wore cami+top or stretchy top+blazer. The latter I found worked well because the tight stretchy top provided support but made me look hugely pregnant; a structured blazer buttoned up on top made me look a little more together and less obviously in-your-face pregnant at all times.

    • preg anon

      Isabella Oliver tops would be a good choice, although they are a little pricier. If you can get them on sale, they aren’t too too bad and, in my opinion, are totally worth it (if you have the money).

      • BKDC

        They’ve been the only brand I’ve been having luck with, at least with work wear. Try some on, get a sense of sizing, and then see what’s available on ebay!

  3. Honestly

    If you’re going to sell high-waisted shorts, at least have the decency to made them pleated.

  4. L

    I had a brief WTF and then just realized it’s april 1st. Glad I figured it out via this post and not something bigger today! Whew.

  5. Woods-comma-Elle

    This suit would be perfect for my interview at Cravath’s next week! I’ll have to see if it comes in pink…

    • St. Louisan

      I assume by your name you’d want vegetarian? There is a new vegetarian place from a well-known chef called Small Batch. I haven’t been (husband protested a meatless restaurant, sigh), but it is getting a lot of buzz.

    • Olivia Pope

      Dietary restrictions? Where are you staying? With these answers, I can give you plenty of recs.

    • Another St. Louisan

      Meskerem on South Grand! You could eat every meal at a different (and fabulous) restaurant on that stretch of Grand.

    • TravelMoreRoads

      Local Harvest, in old post office building.  Vegan soul food plate=delicious if they still have it. Baileys has a good veggie burger. Three Kings had a Vegan burger on pretzel bun – typical tasting vegan burger, mildly better than garden/boca, but delicious w/ pretzel bun & toppings.

    • StLouie

      I think Local Harvest closed in the Old Post Office. Bailey’s Range is awesome. Pi Pizza is really really good – Obama’s favorite pizza! If you want to explore the city, try the Royale on Kingshighway. Also, second to checking out South Grand and all the ethnic restaurants. I really like Vine. Have fun! St. Louis is a great city.

    • STL

      If you are in Clayton and don’t have a car, then I would try to go to Niche or Pastaria for nice dinners. If you have a car, I love Harvest or Sidney Street for nice dinners. If you have a car and want Vietnamese go to Pho Grand on South Grand.

      If in the city, for lunch, I enjoy Sauce on the Side. For BBQ- go to Bogarts or Pappys (you will likely need to drive to either of these).

  7. military gf

    Thanks for all the support yesterday re: my SO being deployed. You ladies are so kind and helpful!! Some amazing tips.

    Yesterday I took myself on a mini-shopping spree and this morning I worked out so hard. It’s incredible what wearing a new outfit and an endorphin rush can do for your mood!

    • Clementine

      Woo hoo! I also go as far as to plan semi-elaborate dates for when they get back- not setting anything in stone, but deciding we’re going to go to x restaurant for dinner and then have dessert at Y and I will wear __.

      Reach out anytime! I’ve found that venting to anonymous internet people is actually what works for me- I’m in a FB group that really helps (weird as it sounds).

      • military gf

        Oh I love that idea! You’re right that it’s so nice to have things to look forward to!

        Miserably, we’re in a cross-country relationship even when he’s not deployed. But he’s coming here for ten whole days when he returns! And then he’s moving across the country in the fall to be with me. So the end is in sight.

        The very sweet man apparently mailed a whole box of letters to my best friend – she’s been giving them to me at regular intervals while he’s been gone. They’re typed on a typewriter and he scented them with his deodorant! At the end of the day, I’d say I’m a pretty lucky lady.

        • Anonymous

          Typewritten letters? Scented with his deodorant? You are very, very lucky! Hang in there!

  8. mini frittata

    maybe this is something everyone knows already, but since lower carb meals are often being brought up here, I thought I’d mention this recipe. It made my morning so good! Instead of making a frittata in a big pan, you can just dump filling (veggies, cheese, meat) and eggs (beaten) into a greased muffin tin. Bake at 350 for about 8-10 minutes, and voila! I made them last night and had two this morning at my desk, instead of my usual oatmeal-in-a-mug. They were delicious, even cold! And apparently you can make a whole batch at once and they keep for days. Soo much more appetizing and less offensive than a hard-boiled egg.

    • Matilda

      Egg muffins! I love egg muffins. Also, if you want to completely defeat the whole low-carb aspect of things, you can line the muffin cups with those refrigerator crescent rolls before adding your eggs and veggies…

    • Brit

      I make big batches of breakfast burritos that I freeze and heat up at work – onions and green peppers work really to add a bit of something-something when you reheat frozen eggs.

    • Niktaw

      Can you walk me through the process? Do you mix the fillings with the beaten eggs or put the fillings into the muffin pan first and pour the egg over?

      • Bonnie

        I put in the toppings first then pour the eggs (beaten with spices and a splash of skim milk). I typically make these on Sundays and use whatever veggies and protein are left over from dinner or need to be eaten quickest.

      • zora

        yeah, it’s easier to distribute the fillings evenly into each cup, and then pour the beaten eggs into each one. Don’t fill them too full, they puff up a lot when baking. My recipe is 9 eggs per one pan of 12 muffin cups.

    • Anonymous

      Yep, I’ve been doing this for the last couple of months. I make a couple dozen on Sunday nights, then me and DH have them for breakfast all week. Try them with proscuitto, tarragon and goat cheese.

      If you’re trying to watch calories, you can replace some of the eggs with egg whites. If you’re not trying to watch your calories, add in a splash of cream. I bake them in parchement paper cups to prevent sticking

    • PolyD

      That’s brilliant, as are the ideas to put hashbrowns in the bottoms.

      I don’t really do low-carb, but probably should. These would be nice for lunch, too.

    • Coach Laura

      My variations are:

      Sauteed chopped spinach (kale or chard), caramelized onions, Canadian bacon (or turkey bacon), Parmesan (or red bell pepper strips for the bacon)

      Zucchini, asparagus, red bell pepper, shallots and scallions plus feta or brie and thyme

      Cauliflower, red bell pepper, red onion and mint with feta

      • Coach Laura

        I should say that I saute the veggies first, then put them in the bottom of the muffin tin and put the eggs and cheese on top.

    • (not s0) recent grad

      These ideas sound delicious! I think I may attempt them this weekend, and bring with me to the spa portion of a bachelorette party? Any tried and true recipe recommendations you could point me to?

  10. Anon

    Also, black is so boring. What is this, an interview short suit? I think this would be much better in lime green or hot pink.

      • Sydney Bristow

        I had a similar experience this morning. For anyone who reads Seth Godin’s blog, it took me reading about 3/4 of today’s post before realizing it was April 1st.

  12. marketingchic

    I think I’d be cold in these. Where can I get some fleece tights to match?

  13. Ellen

    I agree. These are cute, but I could not wear them at work b/c Frank would be stareing at my leg’s as well as my tuchus, particulearely if I took off the jacket. I have enough of an issue with the manageing partner b/c I do NOT think he would reimburse me for this outfit. It IS, however, one that ROSA could wear if she EVER decided she needed to go back into the 9-5 workeforce. But for now, with raiseing the kid’s and manageing her house and housekeepeing in Chapeauqa, she is already VERY busy; to busy to even think about workeing OUTSIDE the house. YAY! B/c That is what I want for me. A beautiful house, kid’s and a husband that work’s hard to make sure there is enough money to pay for all of that, and my NEW SUV!

    I spoke with the manageing partner about the extra 600 hour’s and he told me that he could NOT even consider anything new b/c he has a new BUDGET that he is workeing on that factor’s in our new space, which he has NOT found yet, but which he say’s will cost alot more, and give me a WINDOW! I told him I would perfer not to have a window as long as I got $75K and kept my clotheing allowance. He said I could not have both in his budget, which ONLEY has me down for the clotheing allowance. He told me I may be luckey to be abel to keep the clotheing allowance with all of the increased cost’s. He said to talk to Frank about the space, but Frank is in the toilet again, with his NY P’ost readeing about the MET’s! FOOEY! Why do men alway’s read in the toilet?

    Dad’s freind’s son is goeing to call. He was NOT abel to come to my birtheday party on Sunday, but his dad took home some Corn Beef for him. Eveidenteally he is a big deli fan like me–YAY! At least he is not a complete looser! I hope he is abel to meet me. Myrna also want’s to meet him, so I will sugest that he take us BOTH out. He will be luckey to have two beautiful women to entertain and we will get good food out of it! YAY!!!!!

  14. Scout

    Thank you ladies for making my morning. I’m giggling over my morning coffee like a creep.

  16. preg anon

    Did anybody else click on the Shelfies thing on the G m a i l? I figured it was a joke and thought I would click and they would just say JOKE but now I have some random person’s picture behind my screen!!! How the heck do I get rid of it?

  17. Anon

    I just need to vent. So my grandmother just died (which was expected, she was sick, but I am still really sad about it) and my dad has been planning the funeral. He asked me and my husband to both do some things during the Mass.

    We have three small children, so we asked my husband’s mother if she would watch the kids for us so we could do what my dad asked without having to chase after children. (For better or worse, we don’t attend church regularly so our 2 year old has no training in sitting thorugh Mass. The last funeral we took them too my husband spent the entire time outside with the 2 year old.) Anyway, so my MIL got so offended that we would ask her to babysit when she wanted to go to my grandma’s funeral (they had met a couple times.)

    I am just so upset over this. I feel like of all the times to be helpful, this is one of them. My mom has offered to stay with the kids, but I feel like she should go too. (My parents are divorced but were married for over 20 years and she is close with my dad’s sisters. etc. they all went to high school together…) I’m sure I am overreacting because I am also sad over my grandma, but I am so, so angry at my MIL.

    Thanks for letting me vent. :(

    • Wildkitten

      This is a high emotion situation and I think the perfect answer in high emotion family situations is to outsource to strangers. In this case, hire a babysitter for the kids.

    • NOLA

      So sorry you’re having to deal with this. FWIW, no 2 year old is generally expected to sit through an entire church service and behave. That’s why churches have nurseries and children’s church (in my church, the kids leave after the childrens’ sermon and go to children’s church). A couple of possibilities – could you ask a friend to do this for you? I went to my friend’s father’s funeral (which was a 70 mile drive) and spent much of the funeral in a little room next to the chapel with her daughter, who was then about 2. Her daughter knew me well so she was willing to just go play with me. It allowed her parents to fully participate in the service and not have to worry about their daughter. I was able to carry her in to the back of the chapel and hold her for part of the service. It was more important for my friend to be fully present at her father’s funeral than for me to do that. Another possibility would be to contact the church and ask if they could arrange babysitting or nursery services for the funeral. They may have that option.

      Good luck – and so sorry for your loss.

    • tesyaa

      Your MIL should not have gotten huffy, but it’s not wrong that she wanted to attend the funeral. I am with Wildkitten on this, but sympathetic because I know it’s sometimes hard to get a sitter on short notice.

    • Anon

      Sorry to hear about this situation. The best solution is probably to hire a babysitter or ask a friend, no someone who knew your grandmother and may want to attend the funeral as well.

    • Silvercurls

      I’m sorry for your loss and sorry that it’s compounded by emotional/logistical challenges. I’m also sure that you are not the first family facing the child-care-during-a-funeral question. This is a pain but it looks like a solvable problem as long as you’ve got more than 24 hours before the funeral.

      If you don’t have a regular babysitter, here are some ideas:
      – Post a message on the congregation’s listserv (if it exists and is open-access…some congregations have more formal listservs only used for official announcements)
      – If there’s no such listserv, approach the youth group leader, young adults’ programmer, women’s sisterhood or auxiliary (not trying to be sexist, just trying to solve your problem!), and/or savvy congregational administrative assistant. You want someone with good people sense who can steer you to someone who loves kids, has good sense, and is willing to watch your children either for pay or as an act of kindness.
      – Ask a friend of your mother who wasn’t as close to your grandmother or her family?
      – Network with your local high school, scout troop, college, or folks you know from other congregations that have nurseries or special programming for toddlers.

      P.S. +1,000 to NOLA’s comment re expectations for toddlers: “FWIW, no 2 year old is generally expected to sit through an entire church service and behave. That’s why churches have nurseries and children’s church (in my church, the kids leave after the childrens’ sermon and go to children’s church).”

    • mama of 2

      I agree with Silvercurls. The church will often have nursery volunteers or staff who handle kids during Sunday services; those people may be able to come in and take care of your kids, even on-site at the church, during the service.

      I also understand how you feel. When I gave birth to my second, my mom really wanted to be in the room with me – and I would have wanted her there too, but what I really needed was for her to take care of my oldest while I was in the hospital. My mom did that and I am really grateful. It was an act of service and love on her part to stay home with the toddler instead of going to the dramatic labor room. I think you were asking for a similar “gift” from your MIL. I understand why you asked, and I understand why you feel so hurt. I think it’s okay to feel the feelings, and to feel really sad about your grandmother’s death, and to feel betrayed that your MIL is privileging her grief over your incredibly legitimate childcare dilemma. It will feel better over time, I think, but for now, I just wanted to let you know that an Internet Stranger understands why you are hurt by this.

  18. emeralds

    Please send good vibes my way…I just submitted an application for my dream job in my perfect location.

    In other news, MEN. Augh. Obviously this day is going really well for me. Please share three things that are making your day better! I’ll try to get things started:
    1. Having a productive meeting with my adviser, and getting good feedback on a draft chapter of my thesis
    2. The beautiful weather and the daffodils popping up everywhere (it all goes so well with my shorts suit!)
    3. Supportive friends I can drink wine with

    • NOLA

      Good luck on the job!

      My SO is coming tomorrow (!) and is spending most of Thursday through Sunday with me. For once, he has no projects to complete (except at my house) so it’s just us. I told him that I had this crazy fear that he was going to come on videochat this morning and say “April Fool! I’m not coming!” And then, he would be dead from my death ray glare. But he really is coming.

    • OttLobbyist

      1. Melting snow. :)
      2. Full coffee pots in the work kitchen, for a change.
      3. Melting snow. :)

    • Miss Behaved

      I’m going to the DR tomorrow for a week so I’m doing last minute cleanup and prep. And easing my way into island time. Yay!

    • Clementine

      1. It is above freezing AND sunny.
      2. We just finished a HUGE, months long, everybody-stressed-out-allthetime 110% assignment on time and now it’s relaxed at work.

      aaand 3. My coworker’s mother just pulled an amazing prank on him that required extensive effort and phone masking but succeeded 110%.

        • Clementine

          He’s found a magical loophole parking spot that he’s been gloating his face off about for WEEKS. His mother arranged for a coworker of hers to message him saying that his vehicle was being towed and even made sure that when he called the number back, the person answered his call as a call center employee, etc.

          He was running around freaking out and couldn’t realize who it was. He assumed it was a coworker and was walking around accusing potential pranksters, but NOPE! It was his mother.

    • HTown

      Wow, my day has been so busy I am just catching up now. Mine are;
      1) I found out yesterday I am getting an assistant
      2) Chocolate covered espresso beans given to me by my sweet husband this AM
      3) Ann Taylor is having 30% off suits and perfect shirts

      Good luck on your dream job!!!

  19. Pinky

    I just have to do a little happy dance because I found two pairs of never been worn manolo blahnik pumps that are perfect for work at my neighborhood thrift store in my impossible to find tiny shoe size for an amazing price. Shopping gods were smiling down on me this morning!

  20. Anon

    Haha – I totally got taken in by this post too.

    In less fun news, I did not start today off on a great footing, but I think I might be overthinking this, so…help? :(

    I had to send materials for a presentation to someone in another department. I sent what I thought was the final version yesterday, then discovered a tiny error in a footnote so sent a second version today. Apparently the person collecting the materials was about to send out a final version, so this resulted in him frantically trying to call me to figure out what I’d changed. He didn’t sound pleased, but maybe he was just busy? I wouldn’t care so much except I might want to work for him some day, and I feel like I ruined my reputation for the sake of an inconsequential change.

    • Former Partner, Now In-House

      Lie.

      Tell her that you can’t have kids and that it’s very difficult for you to discuss so you would appreciate her never bringing it up again.

      Strangely, people feel sorry for you if you can’t have kids but feel angry at you if you don’t want to have kids. Use that against her.

      • Former Partner, Now In-House

        Shoot. This was for the woman who needs to tell her mom no kids.

        Also, I wouldn’t recommend lying except when telling the truth repeatedly isn’t working. As here. And it’s actually a white lie: you can’t have kids (because you don’t want to) and it is difficult for you to discuss.

      • Anon

        OP here: Haha, okay, that actually made me laugh when I first read “Lie” :) and I thought…okay, that’s a new one.

    • Effie

      Well, it is good manners to explain exactly what you’ve edited in cases like this. Obviously not a huge mistake, but good to know for the future.

  21. lily

    HELP
    How do I explain to my mom that my husband and I don’t want to have kids?
    2 years into our marriage, the pressure increases… what do i say to her?

    • Senior Attorney

      “When and if there’s anything to report, you’ll be the first to know! [insert trilling laugh here] But don’t hold your breath because there are no plans in the immediate future! [trilling laugh]”

      Repeat as necessary.

      • Lily

        I tried that one, didn’t work. She is from Latin America and had 4 kids; it doen’t make sense that a couple doesn’t want to have a “LEGACY” in this world…

        • R in Boston

          We have told my mother-in-law that we will consider children five years after the last time she asks us when we’re having them. It shuts her up for a good long while and then whenever she slips, I just tell her she’s reset the clock and has no one to blame but herself.

        • Anon

          Tell her that you’re infertile, maybe? If you’re ok with lying, that is. That would probably shut her up.

    • BB

      Really would need to know more about your family dynamics to give good advice here.

      I also don’t want kids (3 years into marriage, fast approaching 30), but my relationship with my parents is such that I have basically said: I don’t want kids. If I feel like I want them when I’m 40 and barren, I will adopt. This is my choice, and I will shut down this conversation if it ever comes up again in the future.

      But obviously, if your relationship with your parents isn’t that independent and direct, the conversation is much more difficult.

      • Lily

        Her response: why do you work so hard if at the time of your death there will be no children to remember you and enjoy your money???

        • tesyaa

          You can tell her you want to leave the money to charity (whether or not this is true), or to your nieces/nephews/cousins. Or that you want to enjoy your money and plan to travel in the future, whatever. But I sense that there’s no explanation that will stop the questions.

        • Sydney Bristow

          It sounds like something you’ll just have to keep repeating to her, which sucks. She may never understand it, but hopefully she will eventually stop pressuring you.

          My own family realized years ago that I was serious about not having kids and wouldn’t be changing my mind. My fiancé has been similarly transparent with his parents but his dad recently said that we would regret it when we are older. I tried to laugh it off and tell him that he could say “I told you so” if we ever do regret it but that we weren’t going to change our minds. Then I changed the subject.

          • Sydney Bristow

            One other suggestion. Sometimes a sibling who believes you can be helpful here. A long time ago, my sister would step in occasionally saying that she understood my choice when my parents would suggest that I should reconsider or would change my mind. I wasn’t ever seriously pressured but there were a few annoying comments about it for awhile and it helped to know my sister understood.

        • Amy H.

          “We plan on to spend all our money on ourselves living it up and traveling the world and then die broke.”

      • BB

        Another important thing I said: I don’t believe you should have kids unless you really want them, and right now, I don’t really want them. It seems ridiculous to bring a human being into this world right now just because I *might* want them later.

        I say all this, and honestly, I’m pretty sure the conversation will come up again in 2 years when I do actually pass 30. But I will probably later, rinse, repeat. :)

    • BankrAtty

      Why must you say any thing beyond, “At this time, we are not interested in having children” ?

      • Senior Attorney

        This. Just keep saying “Not having kids at the moment, Mom. Will let you know if and when that changes. Lovely weather we’re having, eh?”

        • Wildkitten

          Yeah I made a rule that my mom isn’t allowed to ask when I’m getting married. And I also got a dog whom she is welcome to channel her grand-maternal energies towards buying presents for/baking for/knitting for (and she does).

    • Anon

      Just tell her. Like seriously, don’t explain it. It’s “Mom, Husband and I decided that we’re not having kids.” When she responds or tries to guilt you, say “This isn’t a debate. You’ll have to find someone else to talk to about this, because this isn’t up for discussion with me or Husband.”

    • Olivia Pope

      Stop trying to explain it to her. You’ve already told her, and you just need to move the conversation onto something else when she brings it up. You can’t convince your mom this choice is a good one, but you also don’t need to. You can’t make her understand. Just accept that she won’t.

    • Anne Shirley

      “Mom, the cats would be really mad about having to share our attention, and I wouldn’t want them to kill and eat the baby.”

      She knows. You don’t have to keep telling her. Start trying to build a boundary. “Mom, I’ve already explained this and the topic isn’t up for discussion “. “Mom, I told you I’m not discussing this ” “mom since there’s nothing else you want to talk about, I have to go. Bye”

        • Charlotte

          I can’t agree more with this. She definitely knows that you don’t want children so it’s not a matter of “convincing” her of that. She most likely thinks that she’ll be able to browbeat you to having children and i think that’s wrong.

    • Circe

      “I don’t want kids. I would rather regret not having them than regret having them.”

  22. SV in House

    Has anyone used and moved away from Rodan & Fields. I have used the Reverse and Anti-Blemish lines for several years and like them, but am fed up with the company. They keep making the sizes smaller (at the same very high price point) and use excessive packaging. I would love to know if anyone has found similar products.

    • Senior Attorney

      Aw, hi! Thanks for thinking of me!

      The divorce isn’t going much of anywhere. Per his lawyer, Mr. Senior Attorney is “completely overwhelmed” and “can’t deal with any of this.” Which is pretty hilarious given that he’s the guy who decided this was going to be a big ol’ litigation instead of a friendly settlement.

      At this point I think there’s a decent chance we will actually have to have a trial, which blows. my. mind. Crazy. Time line? I’m thinking I will be fortunate indeed to be divorced by the end of the year. But I have decided that after all he’s put me through, there’s no freakin’ way I’m letting him keep my house. So that’s kind of keeping me going.

      Gah.

      But my Marine son is home so that has perked me up to a remarkable extent! :)

        • Senior Attorney

          Well, that’s my goal now. Originally my goal was getting it done last year!

          I moved out on April 6 of last year, believe it or not. Can’t believe it’s dragging on like this! So, so crazy. I made Mr. K a screamingly generous settlement offer, which he tentatively accepted, last May. And then instead of making it happen he lawyered up. And the rest is (tragical) history.

          Thanks for the support ! I really appreciate it! :)

        • anonforthis

          Ugh, hang in there! It is so frustrating how long this stuff takes and so frustrating that people would rather waste money fighting rather than take a generous settlement offer. I’m sorry he’s now dragging his feet!

          I am similarly frustrated right now because we had to push back a custody trial because the other parent wanted to mediate and then at mediation was unwilling to negotiate on anything.

  24. MU JD

    You know what looks great with short suits? Fleece tights! And you can buy them at Walgreens.

  25. Mood Boosters?

    Just found out my SO didn’t get the job that would have moved him back home (currently halfway across the country). That makes it a 98% chance that it will be another year before we’re in the same state again, let alone under the same roof.

    So, since I cried in the car and on my walk to work, it’s time to boost the mood because crying in front of my judge = pretty unacceptable. What are your best, silliest, most effective mood boosters for a day like today, when the tears just. won’t. stop. I’m open to anything!

    • tesyaa

      Sorry for not having something more original, but I have to say chocolate. Sorry too about the bad news!

    • roses

      Blast the most ridiculous pop song you can find (I’m partial to “Call Me Maybe”) and dance.

      • Blonde Lawyer

        If you can do it somewhere private, video tape yourself doing said dance on your cell phone and then watch it. You WILL crack up laughing or be amazed at your impressive dance skills. For me, it is the former. Like go all out. Pretend you are in a competition to win a million dollars for the most amazing dance rendition of Nelly’s Country Grammar or some other ridic dance song. Get low and then watch it. Bonus points if you are in non-traditional dancing clothing like a suit or pajamas.

    • Burgher

      I just think of all the good things in my life that I am thankful for, and remember that I am better off than the majority of people in the world.

      Try to focus on your own personal achievements and what more you can do to be happy, or at least happier, NOW. Short term goals help to bridge the gap between where you are currently stuck and where you want to be.

      If that doesn’t work, baby animal pictures!

    • zora

      baby animal pictures. also: podcasts that make me laugh, if you can wear headphones at work, there are lots of comedian podcasts out there.

      I’m so sorry you’re having a bad day!! Sending lots of hugs.

    • LizNYC

      If you’re into movies, YouTube the Honest Trailers of some of the recent movies. I find they can usually crack me up. Or if you’re a fellow Nerde t t e, Pete Holmes firing the Ex-Men. I also give myself permission to be sad for a set period of time (like, OK, I can be upset for a day, then I need to cut it out!), watch whatever movies I feel like (like Pride & Prejudice, my standby), eat what I feel like, then start getting back on track.

      And I’m sorry you’re dealing with this!

  26. Rural Juror

    Anyone have recommendations for air freshened that aren’t too strong? My house doesn’t smell bad exactly, it just doesn’t smell good. I use scented candles sometimes but I don’t find they give a lasting scent. I want to walk in after work and be like “mmmmmm that smells good”. I think a plug in is the way forward for me, but I am pretty sensitive to too-strong smells so I need to make sure it’s not going to smell so strong I’ll get a headache. Is this crazy? I feel kind of crazy writing this.

    • JJ

      Instead of a plug-in, what about those reed diffusers? I feel like those are less cloying and the nicer brands don’t smell like fake-whatever-it’s-supposed-to-be scents. I’m pretty sensitive to “fake” smells and the brand Nest at Nordstrom has amazing scented candles and reed diffusers and I’ve enjoyed all the scents that I’ve ordered.

    • roses

      If you’re sensitive to commercial air fresheners, would you be open to more natural scents? You can boil some orange peels and cinnamon sticks to create a create aroma in your house.

    • Clementine

      have you tried essential oils placed in a coffee mug??? you can put them on a radiator for a subtle scent or just nuke them for a couple minutes.

      I like rosemary oil for refreshing/clean feeling, lavender oil for relaxing, and vanilla when I want it to feel ‘homey’.

    • Anon

      Do a simmer pot on your stove. Lemons and vanilla extract is a good combination, or you could do rosemary or lavender or something. I also like the Anthropologie volcano candles for a strong scent.

    • Monday

      If you just want a spray, I have some from Whole Foods that are pricey but good. I understand what you’re saying, I think–the ones from drugstores or BB&B tend to smell extremely strong and artificial. Various other health foods or granola-type home goods stores will also probably have more demure spray options.

    • Anne Shirley

      I’d just try a plug in. They’re only about $5. I always thought they’d bother me, but then a roommate got glade clean linen or something similar and it wasn’t an issue at all. Worst case you hate it, you’re out $5 and you leave the windows open an hour. Best case there’s a cheap simple solution.

    • rook

      In my experience the plug ins often leave a greasy stain on the wall above them from their essential oils. Not so fun.

    • Baconpancakes

      Start by deep-cleaning any textiles you have in your house. Rent a rug doctor, launder your curtains, vacuum your couch, launder slipcovers or rug doctor a non-slipcovered couch. Then clean any walls or cabinets in the kitchen, scrub the trash can, and get under your appliances to clean out the crumbs that get musty. Wipe down the walls around doorknobs, light switches, and molding, scrub any non-carpeted floors. Then get fastidious about taking out stinky trash immediately. Or, my preference, pay someone to do this deep clean for you. Then bring in fragrant flowers like hyacinths, open the windows (now that it’s getting warmer -yay!) and you probably won’t even need anything scented.

      If you still want your house to have more of a “scent,” the linen plug-ins are fairly neutral, and in a big living room, are much more pleasant than in a tiny bathroom, where we usually encounter them.

    • Amy H.

      I really like the reed diffusers and find them a lot less overpowering and fake/chemical-smelling than the plug-ins and the supermarket brands. They’re more expensive of course . . . the tradeoff.

      One of my favorites is the “Vert Frais” scent at Williams Sonoma. They have both a room freshener spray and the reed diffuser/essential oil set.

      I also repurposed a gift of “Hesperides” eau de cologne scent from Fresh cosmetics as a room freshener spray. . . it’s a grapefruit-based scent and while I didn’t like it much as a perfume on me, I love it as a room scent!

  27. Senior Attorney

    I am having a single woman dilemma and need to pick the Hive Mind for solutions!

    I live in a one-bedroom apartment with a loft that is accessible only via a small spiral staircase. When I moved in I put my desk up there with my desktop computer. The computer has since died and I have gone laptop-only. Also, having my son stay with me for two weeks sleeping on an air mattress has convinced me a better use of the space would be to remove the desk and put in an actual bed.

    Problem: Can’t figure out how to get the desk out of the loft. It won’t fit down the spiral staircase. The movers hoisted it over the balcony railing, which I am obviously not competent to do even with DS’s help. The desk is to well-put-together to take apart and move in pieces.

    Is this something for which you’d use Task Rabbit? Do movers do tiny jobs like this? Or a hauling company, which would then take the desk away?

    I’m stymied and it’s driving me nuts! Help!

    • NOLA

      I’ve gotten really good at lowering furniture on a rope down to my back yard! But seriously, I had a loveseat upstairs that wouldn’t go down the stairs and took a lot of effort to get up there. When I gave it away, my coworker’s husband (who was taking it for his den) lowered it down by himself. So it’s a lot easier to get down than up. That said, you might need 2 strong people, gloves and some good rope.

      • Senior Attorney

        Huh. The movers just handed it up. I hadn’t thought of a rope.

        Duh.

        And also? This totally reminds me of my son’s favorite animated character, Catbug: “Tie a wope awound it!”

    • tesyaa

      You can definitely use a mover for a small job. Or, even if you can’t take the desk apart, maybe a handyman or carpenter can.

    • Anon

      I would put an ad on Craigslist and say it was free to whoever could figure out how to take it out and carry it away.

      • tesyaa

        I thought of this, but hesitated because I wouldn’t want to risk having the “buyer” damage the apartment or other property.

        • Senior Attorney

          Yeah, same here. Plus, Craigslist people inside my apartment.

          It’s tempting, though.

    • Blonde Lawyer

      If you don’t want the desk anymore, you could take an ax to it. I’m sure that is insanely wasteful but it may be cathartic.

      • NOLA

        That’s so true! After Katrina, my ex and I were trying to figure out how to get a moldy wooden futon frame out of a bedroom where the ceiling had collapsed due to roof damage. When we said something to the workers in the house, they came in, folded the frame in half, jumped up and down on it til it broke, and threw it out the window. We were trying to be way too genteel!

        • Senior Attorney

          I don’t think I could handle an axe, but I have definitely considered a crowbar and/or a saw! LOL

    • rook

      If you’re not planning to keep it after it’s out of the loft, you could put it on the list of craig with a caveat that they buyer remove it.

      • Senior Attorney

        OMG! That looks perfect! Just sent them an email and we’ll see how it works out!! Thank you SO MUCH!!! If I end up using them, I have a couple of other things they could do for me like move the TV from upstairs to downstairs and set it up.

        Yay!

    • Gail the Goldfish

      Movers will do this, but a lot of companies have a high minimum charge for hiring movers (like at least $100). With that caveat, I needed someone to move a dresser in for me and got lucky because one of the companies I called the guy told me they had a minimum, but then just gave me the number of two of his movers and said they’d probably be willing to do it in their spare time for cheap. I paid two guys $25 a piece, though I probably could have paid less. Also, UHaul lists people/companies on their site to help with moves, so check there.

    • Effie

      I love TaskRabbit but I don’t think it’s ideal for this task because you might need two people do get this done quickly and safely. Definitely recommend you seek out a moving company or one of those junk haul-away services.

      • zora

        Yeah, but she has a big strong marine at home, too. ;o) so if she gets one person from task rabbit, there’s two strong people to get the desk down with a rope.

        • Senior Attorney

          I thought of that but the big strong Marine is out of town until tomorrow and is reporting to his new duty station on Friday so I think I’m kind of out of time. What with all the vacationing and stuff that’s been going on around here!

  29. California casual?

    NY native here. Attending a Saturday 5 PM wedding in Vegas, early May. Invitation says “California Casual” . Can anyone tell me what kind of dress that would be for a Saturday afternoon into evening wedding?

    I showed up at a “casual” Saturday morning event in NY wearing a silk pieces—skirt, blouse and jacket. Was humiliatingly underdressed. Everyone else was in evening wear—the concept being that when asked, you simply remark, “oh these ARE my casual clothes” (to convey the impression that you are so loaded you normally wear a cocktail dress on Saturday morning).

  30. Circe

    Stepmom TJ–

    I know there have been previous recommendations for good resources for step parents, but I can’t find them. Could you please let me know what resources have been helpful to you in the adjusting to being a sm?

    • KLG

      A good family therapist who specializes in kids the age of your stepkid(s). I have found it invaluable for insight on realistic expectations for my stepkid, handling issues that come up, and sometimes just venting about how I’d like to strangle their mother for constantly disappointing stepkid or creating emergencies that we have to step in and handle. It helps me calm down so I can be compassionate with the stepkid.

      I also recommend the book The 5 love languages for childreen (or teens, whichever is appropriate).

      It’s the best and hardest thing you’ll ever do. Just know that adjustments and frequent ups and downs are normal. Even if your stepkid likes you, you might be their scapegoat for frustrations they have with their parents. Some days it’s impossible to not take it personally, but you have to keep telling yourself that anyways.

    • Gretch

      The most helpful book for me when I married a man with a child was Stepmonster by Wednesday Martin. Don’t be put-off by the title. It’s written by a woman who has been a stepmother for years now and is very well researched and well written, discussing things like loyalty bind and other issues you might not recognize on your own but will most likely face at one point or another. I also had my husband read it and it was very helpful for him to better understand some of the challenges I was facing. I really can’t recommend the book highly enough.

  31. Keratin?

    Does anyone get keratin treatments done on their hair? How often do you go and about how much do you pay each time? Also, my scalp is very sensitive and I typically lost a lot of hair (not an issue normally since I have thick hair), would keratin not be good for me? I’m just so tired of dealing with my hair (extremely wavy, sort of curly, thick and unpredictable). Oh and also, do you get the type that’s formaldehyde-free?

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