Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Stripe Boatneck Top

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1. Pray to St. Anthony for me, y’all. St. Anthony is the patron saint of things that have gone missing. Something has gone missing. In my house. It is kid’s thing and kid lost it and is being a drama llama. I have assisted in the looking and found this thing after it was previously lost. Would appreciate it if the cosmos did not have my weekend descend into chaos over this now that my work for the year has been wrapped up. Have never wanted to be in the office so badly but am WFH today. Ugh.

   1. Been there. Hope you find it soon!

   2. I think it’s time for a yearend emergency to call you in. If you just drive to the nearest Starbucks to hang out for a few hours, who’s to know?

   3. This Jewish girl knows:
      “Saint Anthony, Saint Anthony
      Please come around
      Something is lost
      And must be found”

      Be careful it is a THING tho
      Saint Jude the Apostle is the patron saint of lost objects

      I went to mass at a Saint Jude church after too long job searching. I prayed and donated what I could. The next month I was hired!!

      1. I’m not even Catholic and am glad that they have people for this. If any other faith tradition has people to invoke, pls chime in. All hands on deck!

         1. I said the Jewish version (below) even though I’m no longer religious! Hope it helps

      2. St. Jude is more associated with hopeless causes and St. Anthony for lost objects, just as a point of social information.

         1. I think getting any meaningful work done today is a lost cause for me – but I’m not wasting a prayer on that lol!

      3. There’s a Jewish version too: Rabbi Binyamin said: All are in the presumed status of blind people, until The Holy One, Blessed Be He, enlightens their eyes

   4. It’s in the couch cushions. Deeper than you think. Good luck!

   5. We once had a blanky stuck behind the headboard but wedged between the headboard and the wall so it wasn’t on the floor. The only way we found it (weeks later) was by standing on the bed and looking down behind the headboard.

      This wasn’t even in the blanky owner’s room – truly not sure how it got there. Kiddo uses the blanky to sleep but doesn’t usually play with in / bring it out of her room.

2. It’s the last work day of the year! If you need to hear it:
   I’m proud of you for the awesome project you did and didn’t get acknowledged for!
   I’m proud of you for the unvalued office emotional labor or care work you ducked!
   I’m proud of you for the unfortunate assignments that you couldn’t get out of and made the best of!

   May next year be more rewarding, more fulfilling, and more remunerative!

   1. Proud of you, too!

   2. Late but thanks! This means a lot (to know I’m not alone and it’s OK to feel weird about these things)!

3. How do you know when it is time to cull your Xmas card list? We send about 225 every year. Last year and this year, we are keeping track of who sends us a card. We won’t know until mid-January, but it looks like about 25% of our list sends us cards. Do we just stop sending to the other 75% next year? I’ve never dealt with this before, and I don’t know how to handle it. (If it matters, we are Jewish and send “Happy New Year” cards to a mix of Jews, Christians and other religions across the country and internationally.)

   1. I think a lot of people just don’t send cards anymore. Unless the person has indicated they don’t want to receive your card anymore, I’d keep sending it. We send to quite a few people who don’t reciprocate. Some of them are my best friends, and I know they don’t send cards at all, so it’s not personal. They like seeing ours. Fwiw, also Jewish and do Happy New Years cards although this year life was too busy and we just didn’t get them out. I’m debating whether or not I should send them out around January 15th (we’re traveling the next couple weeks) or if that’s too weird.

      1. If you want an internet stranger’s opinion– it’s not weird to send cards around Jan 15! I love getting them anytime :D

      2. Definitely not weird.

   2. I don’t use score keeping like that to determine my Christmas card list. People fall off it when they don’t feel like friends or even acquaintances anymore. Like, if it would be weird even for me to reach out to check their address. And new friends get added. Ours is only about 85.

      1. +1, we don’t cull our list based on who also sends cards, more like if we’re still keeping in touch with them (whether through annual card exchange or more IRL interactions)

      2. +2! There are some people who never send cards and they always text me that they got mine, so I know they’re appreciated.

   3. Yes. Obviously those people do not understand that you need to give to get. Cut ’em.
      They aren’t worth it if they don’t understand the basic transactional nature of a holiday greeting.

      1. Yeesh you people are harsh. If she has all the money and time in the world then okay, send to everyone. But holiday cards are a lot of effort (as evidenced by how many don’t send them!) and there is something to the idea that people are saying you aren’t “worth it”/it’s not something they value by not sending them. (Literally, it is not worth their money or effort to do.)

         Sure, don’t cut grandma and aunt Mary even if they don’t send cards. But when you have 225 people on your list, I think reciprocation is a fine barometer for cutting acquaintances

         1. I agree that 225 cards is a lot and she can and should cull, but I would hope reciprocity would be, like, the 4th or 5th standard used to get there. And more like, “well the Joneses send us a card every year so we’ll keep them on the list” rather than people getting cut for not sending a card.

      2. This is 10/10 trolling, Anonymous at 12:10.

         1. I was thinking (hoping) it was sarcasm.

   4. Yes, cull. I send to all immediate family/aunts & uncles, most first cousins, elderly people who get joy from photos, and close family friends regardless of if they send back. These are the people I truly care about and want to send good wishes to.

      The rest of list gets culled if there’s no reciprocation for a few years. This includes old colleagues, former neighbors, friends we drifted apart from, my parents friends who made it onto my list after the wedding, etc.

      Some people say “send to everyone with no care for reciprocation, the point is to wish people well” but 225 is a TON of cards and you can’t possibly be close with everyone on that list. With the cost of everything, cut down that list without guilt

   5. 225?! We send out 40 something. I’d definitely cull, cull, cull. If were me- I’d keep the 25% and then weed through the 75%. I don’t know what exactly my cut off would be, but roughly if I haven’t spoken to them in 2 years would consider dropping them from the list.

      1. We also only send out 40 something… but I have sort of the opposite view. We mostly send to high school, college and grad school friends that we haven’t seen in person in years, if not decades. I don’t feel the need to send them to all the local people I see on a regular basis. They know what we look like.

         1. Awww– if one of my friends sent cards regularly but didn’t send to me because we see each other a lot, I’d be sad! I know what they look like, but it’s a fun thing to get mail and see your friends when they’re not right there!

   6. Yeah, I use who sends to me as a way of deciding who to add, not who to subtract. If I get a card from someone who isn’t on my list, I add them (and send one back if I still have extras).

      1. Also, we send about 125 every year.

      2. This! Also I’m doing my best so if you don’t get one one year please try not to make a federal case about it. Stuff gets lost and overlooked sometimes. If I double and triple checked everything every year I’d consider it work and send exactly zero.

      3. Same.

      4. Yes same here I send about 100 cards and probably don’t get that many back, but I enjoy the time spent wishing everyone the best.

         And just a humble plea… Just because someone doesn’t send you a card one year, please don’t immediately chop them. It might be the year they needed it the most. Maybe they’re going through a separation or a tough time at work

         You sound like an awesome person with lots of friends and I’d be super happy to get a card from you

      5. Same here – what you get is for adding only. I only cull former colleagues where we don’t keep in touch. And we send close to 300 cards. I love getting them and we don’t get nearly that many back, but we do get a ton more than when we didn’t send them out.

   7. FWIW, I get cards from my friends/colleagues and always enjoy them (and send a quick thank you text or email to say so). But I have never and would never send holiday cards out myself.

   8. 225 is a lot, but I wouldn’t cull based on reciprocity. In my circle, holiday card senders tend to be people with younger/cute kids, and my extended family of older people (grandparent age) don’t often send but probably get the most out of receiving the cards.
      my ratio is probably closer to 110/45, but I only cut based on changes to the relationship or people falling out of touch for several years. I figure the small cost of a card and stamp with someone who I still want a relationship with (even if it’s not a super close one at the moment) is totally worth it.

   9. Send cards to people you want to send cards to. The tit for tat doesn’t seem in the sprit of the whole enterprise.

      1. This!

   10. We stopped sending cards years ago because of the cost of postage, and most people I know have done the same thing for the same reason.
       If you want to cull your list you can use any criteria you want to, really. Some people only send to close friends and family, some people send only to those who send one to them.

       1. This. We only send a select (less than 10) to family and close friends.

   11. I have never received a holiday card I didn’t appreciate, and whether I sent one out that year would be completely irrelevant. If you can afford to keep the list the same, I would and wouldn’t give this any more thought.

       1. I love them all. I had a medical issue this year that landed me in the hospital and I am not going to be able to send cards. I still love receiving them and hope my friends aren’t counting like OP is!

          1. I’m sorry for your trouble this year! But most of us in the “cull” group, myself included, keep people on the list for years before deciding that the non-reciprocation is one of a number of signs we aren’t that important to each other anymore. One busy year doesn’t mean anything

             1. But like, it’s pretty common for widows to stop sending cards out when their husbands die. Or single moms who stop when they get divorced. Or empty nesters. Or people who just don’t like how they look in middle age. Absolutely cull someone who you wouldn’t text for an updated address, but a lot of people stop sending cards out because they don’t feel like they have a good photo or family story to tell at Christmas this year, and those are often the people who appreciate cards more.

   12. When my grandmother was alive, she cried over her list every year because so many of her friends had died, she had fewer and fewer cards to send each year. I’m glad I’m still at the point in my life that I’m adding more people to my list than I’m removing. I know someday that will shift. I’m going to enjoy my long list while it lasts.

   13. OP here.

       Thanks for all the input. I also understood that many people just don’t send cards but appreciate receiving them and I want them to receive cards (so don’t cull them), but never having been in this position before, I wasn’t sure what to do. I like the “if I am not close enough to them to confirm their new address” test.

       Curious that so many ascribed nefarious intentions to my question.

   14. Send cards to whomever you wish. Don’t co relate with them reciprocating.

       Says the Gita.

4. I am in the crankiest mood—I have a lingering sore throat and congestion, my extremely clingy cat will not leave me alone so I can focus on work, I have a million end of the year things to do for work, my teammate is barely doing anything and what she’s doing is not great work, 95% of the office is OOO…is it time for bed yet?? I need a restart on today.

   1. Go back to bed and try again next year!

   2. Yuck! 20 minute nap and a coffee? And maybe get a strep test it’s going around!

      1. Unless your throat feels like it’s on fire, it’s probably not strep. I have kids and have unfortunately had it a bunch in the last few years.

5. My small practice group is moving into a new office space with some large sunny windows. We have the privilege/responsibility for picking out the window treatments ourselves. In the past, I’ve lived in some nice rental units in my city’s downtown that had roller shades that added privacy and eliminated glare from direct sunlight without reducing the amount of light in a room too much. Does anyone have any leads on what brand or brand(s) of commercial roller shades these might have been?

   1. We’ve loved our Hunter Douglas solar shades in our home. I don’t have experience with their commercial shades but our experience has been so good that I recommend checking them out.

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