Suit/Conservative of the Week: Akris

73 Comments

1. My father-in-law was just intubated and taken to the hospital from his care home, and the effing POTUS is in town today. Major throughways are shut down. We simply cannot get there. I am losing my mind.

   1. I am so sorry.

   2. UGH that is terrible. I’m sorry!

      1. Maybe call your local police non emergency line and ask them for a route from where you are to the hospital. They can’t cut off ALL access!

         1. Yes!! I’ve been in a similar situation. I had to drive a child that was in my care to the hospital and all the roads to the hospital were closed for a marathon. Luckily there were police at each intersection and I just had to keep going up to them and asking to be let through. I was just leaving my car in traffic and running up. They would stop the runners and let me through. After I was just thinking what freaking planner didn’t anticipate that people would need to get to the hospital! The police or EMS should assist you in getting through.

            1. The local PD can assist with an escort if you are in an emergency situation, or by alerting en route police units of your vehicle. Alternatively you can arrange for a remote (Zoom) session. A hospitalist can also step in to request help from the PD for the designated emergency vehicle route to the hospital.

   3. I m so sorry. I hope everything goes as well as it can for your FIL.

   4. Sending good vibes!

2. Love this jacket!

   Furniture question. I have an old-fashioned 4-poster bed that is sort of high up (not needing a stepstool, but higher than most beds). The room is narrow but long, so the bed faces a TV on a dresser. There is no other seating and it’s hard to sit on the bed to put on shoes (and too relaxing to watch TV on). At the foot of the bed, do I put a real loveseat (this is what I think I prefer and I get that the top of the couch/loveseat back shouldn’t be higher than the top of the mattress)? A padded bench? Two upholstered chairs and maybe an ottoman? Design-wise, it’s hard to picture and I can’t find good online pictures b/c platform beds are such a current style.

   1. My husband’s dresser is at the foot of the bed. It’s a low, wide chest that is bench height and is meant to be sat upon. That’s where we sit to put on our shoes. However, in our room it would be too close to a TV if we had your setup, and uncomfortable to sit on for that length of time.

   2. Do you want to use whatever is at the foot of the bed just for putting on shoes, or for watching tv? If the latter, then I’d go for the loveseat/chairs and ottoman option. Otherwise, a padded bench or flat-topped chest is a nice option (bonus if it opens for storage).

      1. If just for sitting to put on shoes, I’d go padded bench for not feeling like the room is crowded.

   3. You can absolutely do a loveseat at the foot of the bed, if you have enough room. Here’s a few inspiration pictures – I love the first one.

      https://www.houzz.com/photos/house-on-a-marsh-beach-style-bedroom-boston-phvw-vp~102956126
      https://www.houzz.com/photos/musem-tower-contemporary-bedroom-dallas-phvw-vp~143454974
      https://www.houzz.com/photos/hillsborough-transitional-transitional-bedroom-san-francisco-phvw-vp~6476690

      1. OP here — thanks! These are fantastic! I think that you can always put your shoes on from a couch, but I’d never curl up with my knitting and watch TV from anything backless, so I think I am swayed. Of course, a bench would be likely quick + easy to get one good enough and sifting through upholstered likely permanent real furniture options will be a task (but I’m inspired now, even if the delivery likely won’t be until 2022).

3. Interested in a simple <15min home weight routine using low weight handbells (I have 5, 10, 15 lb). I know squats are great but not for my troubled knees. If anyone has a link that would be great. I'm more of a reading learner than a video learner, if that makes a difference.

   1. You’d probably love Darebee.com- it presents short weight workouts in “poster” format. I enjoy the ability to sort workouts by level and focus. All free, so worth a short!

      1. This is perfect for me. Thank you so much!!!

4. Gorgeous jacket.

   1. Agreed.

   2. +1

   3. SO pretty. If only my clothing budget allowed for more pieces like this. In my dream work life my wardrobe is a mashup of Alicia Florrick, Claire Underwood, and Selina Meyers.

      1. Why can’t we have innovative, well made suits like this one at an affordable price pount? Many working women professionals who cannot work from home would love to own this design in a basic color because its flattering wnd versatile.

   4. I would wear nothing but Akris if I had the budget and the figure for it!

   5. I think it looks like a purple fencing lame.

      1. You say that like it’s a bad thing…

5. Out of curiosity, has anyone here been diagnosed with Long COVID? I’ve been having shortness of breath off and on for a 18 months since I had what I think was undiagnosed COVID.

   1. Have you seen a dr? I’m not saying it couldn’t be covid related but know that there are other things that cause shortness of breath. Happened to me once when my iron was low – not even super low but it had gone from my usual low-normal to just a bit below that. See a dr, they’ll do the appropriate testing.

      1. My friend had the same thing happen from low iron. Please get the right blood work done.

   2. Depending on your location, you may also have extended periods of poor air quality. Long covid patients present with multiple symptoms, but you could have lung damage from an undiagnosed initial infection made worse by periods of degraded air quality (smoke from an extended fire season in the Western US pasting much of the past 18 months, for instance). Diagnostic imaging and a visit to lung and rheumatogy specialdists are needed after a panel of lab tests and visit to your primary care physician.

6. This coverage of Simone Biles (and my late-to-the-party discovery of You’re Wrong About) is making me rethink Kerri Strug. At the time, we all praised when she vaulted on a broken ankle and was carried to the podium by Bela Karolyi. I clearly remember coverage praising her dedication and courage. Now I’m not so sure that was the right approach.

   Now that we know Bela was terribly abusive and covered up more horrific abuse, now that we know Kerri didn’t even need to complete the vault for USA to get the gold, now that we know Kerri never got to compete again, it all seems awful. Why did we cheer for her? Why was it brave to sustain a career-ending injury for what is, at the end of the day, just national bragging rights? Why were we proud of him forcing her to go again on a broken ankle?

   As an elder millennial (aka same age as Aaliyah and Britney Spears and just a little younger than Monica Lewinsky), I’m really having to rethink a lot of the messages I internalized as a kid and teenager. It’s good and necessary work, but man each new revelation seems like a slap in the face.

   1. I was horrified by the Kerri Strug situation back then, but that wasn’t a common point of view.

   2. I think it’s great to think about this and recognize the abuse in this and a lot of sports!

   3. I feel the same way about so many of the messages I internalized as a teen. I’m just a couple of years older than you. It took me nearly having a mental breakdown in my ’30s to FINALLY receive the message that constantly powering through hard things isn’t a great strategy for mental wellness. But I’d done it so many times at that point when I felt stress and pressure: first, in college; then, in a terrible job in my ’20s; having several runs with PPD/PPA in my ’30s and trying to just will myself out of it. And I’m just a normal person, not a superstar athlete or anything, really.

   4. I’ve thought about this a lot yesterday and today. I was watching the 1996 Olympics live when Kerri Strug got injured, and at the time we did all think it was amazingly inspiring that she kept going when she was obviously terribly injured. She was seen as tough and selfless and I don’t remember anyone saying, or seeming to think, that it was probably really wrong for such a young woman to have been encouraged to put her own health behind the needs of the team in such a damaging fashion. Of course, this was also before the Karolyis’ abuse got substantially exposed along with general abuses in gymnastics and other female-focused sports. Those conditions are part of the reason why I cannot get excited about the Olympics. I can’t look at the athletes without wondering what they’ve been put through, and put themselves through, to make it to that point. I also think what happens to some of these folks later – that essentially, they peak at age 22 and from there have no direction or way forward to a successful life – is tremendously sad, and I don’t know how that gets dropped out of the conversation about whether or not becoming an Olympic-caliber athlete is worth what people have to put into it.

      I think for a long time there have been a lot of damaging messages in American culture – not just in sports – related to “pushing through” pain, distress, depression, anxiety, etc. Kind of like toxic positivity, or the invalidation that’s endemic in my family, where my mom and her sisters and brother were told that the best way to get over something bad happening was just not to think about it. That advice was given when someone got molested, when my mom’s teenage boyfriend beat her up, when my aunt and uncle had a stillborn baby, etc. I believe that some degree of mental toughness and emotional resiliency is necessary for making it through life, but it gets taken way too far, to the point that people are encouraged to ignore their pain (mental or physical) just to achieve some goal or milestone that won’t even matter in 10 years. I’m grateful that we’re at least able to have conversations about this now, vs. a desire to stop or pull back being seen as 100% mental weakness.

      1. Related – there is a Netflix doc called “The Weight of Gold” that discusses the transition these athletes go through after injury and peaking as a young adult and realizing there’s still a lot more outside of sports. It’s a very difficult transition and not everyone makes that transition successfully. It’s not a happy film to watch, but I think it was very well done.

   5. Yeah, there’s a long post about this making the rounds on Facebook. That ish is just nuts.

      1. Ooh thanks I’ll have to go find it!

   6. I completely agree that the Kerri Strug situation should not be applauded. I didn’t watch at the time, but it sounds horrifying and I don’t support it.

      That being said, I’m also finding that there is a particularly toxic brand of “leaning into mental illness” on the Internet these days. I don’t know how to describe it better than that, except that there are lots of influencers and others promoting “self-care” at the expense of obligations to work, family, and friends, idealizing of anxiety and other mental illness, navel-gazing, and more. I’ve also been at several work meetings that turned into what were essentially therapy sessions for staff going through personal challenges and it just felt really…out of place. Employees can bring their whole selves to work, but sobbing in a meeting and describing your childhood trauma to 20 coworkers you barely know? It wasn’t for me.

      I’ve found that I really need to disconnect from that and remind myself that I can do hard things, that resilience is a muscle, and that anti-fragility is worth striving for. It’s helped me through some really challenging situations and it helps me feel better.

      1. Yep. You’re nicer than me. I say – anxiety/depression is fashionable these days. Sorry people resilience is necessary in life and life involves getting stuff done whether you want to or not, not sitting and talking feelings or popping pills. No that doesn’t mean I think gymnasts should be made to perform when they’re blacking out in the air or have obvious foot injuries. But your average American at least on the East coast needs to spend less time “processing her feelings.”

         1. Biles biological parents were drug addicts. She is very petite because she was malnourish and seriously neglected as an infant and young child, put into foster care between ages 3-6, when she was adopted by her grand father and his second wife. She was abused for years at the Karoli ranch alongside scores of other young athletes – part of a well known ring of pedophile trainers and sports doctors.

            Simone us biologically hardwired for anxiety and depression, via epigenetic imprinting. That she has powered through rigorous training, injuries and heavy stress is amazing wnd a testiment to the care and support of family and her new coaches.

      2. +1 to all this.

      3. Yeah, I’m sorry but this just isn’t true. There is not some epidemic of people glamorizing mental illness and if you think that’s what’s happening, that’s a you problem you should work out yourself.

         1. You can try Googling. There are tons of articles describing the phenomenon. I always do my own research – you might want to try it.

         2. Okay, sure Jan.

      4. Though nobody listens to GenXers anyways, I heard a description of GenX as a generation trapped between one generation who thinks nothing is trauma (boomers) and ones who thinks everything is trauma (millennials/Gen Z). While obviously a HUGE generalization, it resonates a bit. Maybe it’s just middle age – I get to listen to my mom tell me how Those People get everything handed to them, while I listen to my teenager tell me that no one has ever had it harder than she has over the past year. I just want a beer.

         1. I’m an “old millennial” (almost 40) and I would say we (or at least I) identify more with Gen X than Gen Z both on this issue and in general, but I definitely agree with this and have observed the same thing in terms of kids and grandparents.

         2. You daughter is a teenager. Basically every teenager for all of time thinks they have it worse than anyone else. That’s just part of that life stage.

         3. Fellow GenXer here and I think you are spot on.

   7. The Netflix series “Cheer” caused some of us to discuss this when it came out. Similarly, they are extremely young people (ages 18-20ish) who are routinely, seriously injuring themselves, often with concussions. And this is the peak of their careers in cheer; there’s not really anywhere to go from there in the sport (pro sports cheerleading is not the same activity at all). Is it worth it?

      1. I was a nationally-ranked athlete as a young adult and there’s no WAY it would have been acceptable for me to pull out of an event the way she did. I’d have been dropped by my coaching team, any financial support would have been pulled, and I’d have been blacklisted (not to mention, as my family paid my training bills, there’d have been hell to pay at home). Perhaps times really are changing and we’re finally now realizing just how damaging this culture can be to athletes (goodness knows I have only realized much of the damage in therapy as an adult), but there were a TON of times I had to push through when my head wasn’t in the game. I’m not the GOAT nor independently wealthy like Simone is though, so perhaps the rules are different for her. I want to be sympathetic, and I do think mental health is incredibly important, but this is what one trains their whole life for. I’m personally having a tough time reconciling it with my own athletic experiences.

         1. May I ask what sport you competed in and at what level you competed? Were you also in a sport that mid-manuever you could die or permanently paralyze yourself if you lost balance or sense of place?
            I’m guessing not. Stop comparing yourself to an Olympic athlete who doesn’t want to break her own neck. She’s not your entertainment horse and you are not in a sponsorship deal with her. Calm all the way down and learn empathy.

            1. Um…I think you’re the one who needs to calm down. I liked Katie’s post.

            2. I was a figure skater in the top 15 in country. I have indeed lost my place in the middle of the air on a triple jump with knives on my feet, though I’ll concede that I wasn’t upside-down like Simone is. I don’t believe Simone is in any way my entertainment horse and believe me, I WANT to be empathetic! I’m actually a very big fan of hers. My intent was sincerely to present an alternate perspective – and not even one I’m proud of, but to offer up that while rationally I can understand the choice she made, one can still have some weird emotional feelings around the situation. It’s ok for opinions to differ.

            3. +1 to Katie from another former figure skater, though one who never reached the levels she did. I do see a distinction between skating and gymnastics in terms of physical danger though. Any skater who’s not a beginner knows how to fall safely and when you pop a jump you normally fall on your butt. It can hurt, and injuries like broken wrists are not unheard of but there’s definitely not the same risk of getting paralyzed or dying.

         2. Wow well done! I am sure I watched you on TV! – Former competitive figure skater at a much lower level.

         3. I was just reading Nadia and Bart’s blog posts (twitter) about how “twisties” is a gymnastics thing that is similar to vertigo. Here’s the link: https://twitter.com/bartconner?lang=en

            and

            https://twitter.com/bartconner/status/1420353845478240258/photo/1

            (link is Nadia and Bart talking to CNN)

            I realized how much I don’t know about gymnastics. I don’t think the reason for her pulling out is being reported correctly — apparently they think that is is related to stress (but unsure). I’m not sure what else Simone could have done when this happened – you can see she loses situational awareness in the vault.

            1. You are correct, but she has a solid causal history plus a lesser known nutritional issue related to kidney stones that can also lead to balance and equilibrium CNS symptoms. See my previous reply to this thread.

   8. “We live in a world where girls and women are FINED for trying to cover up while playing sports, but also EXPELLED from school if their shoulders are showing.

      Again, I dare you to ask why we’re angry.”

      @ida_skibenes

   9. I totally get all of this. Being the best at X as a teen is really meaningless in the long run — that form is fleeting and that identity will need to get replaced by something else. All that drive needs to go elsewhere and hopefully it’s not gone for good.

      The only times that you just have to buckle in and be on the ride until the end are things like military service, flying a plain (and also: air traffic control), being on an emergency call in an ambulance, working in an ER, working on surgeries (all people, not just the surgeon), and maybe being in labor. Maybe there are others. But sometimes, quitting is really not an option. Other times, you can quit. There may be some severe consequences, because maybe if you quit a high-stakes situation where people rely on you, they are naturally reluctant to rely on you again. But it may be like “who cares if you got nervous and walked off stage during the Potato Queen Pageant of 2021? you can still go for the Miss Rodeo of 2022?” Or it can be, well, you had a panic attack before the brief was due and missed the deadline and now the client is suing you and you might have to go before the bar association (which is not life-ending — it may have been better than working all night and falling asleep when driving home and causing even more harm).

      We all get choices. I don’t agree with everything everyone else does, but it’s not like anyone in the Olympics is working as an air traffic controller and fails to get the plane down. There is no plane here.

      1. +1 to all of this. Someone quitting a sport isn’t an emergency and I’m surprised so many people care.

7. So someone in my apartment hallway (all indoors as it’s a skyscraper) is coughing LOUDLY. I’m sure unmasked because SOUTH. I hate apartment living, sharing space with people. I already mask up to even take out the trash, do I now need an N95 to leave my apartment??

   1. I mean, yeah, that’s CDC guidance as of today. But people cough for many reasons. I have run out of my office building to cough after swallowing a drink awkwardly twice in the last year because it freaks people out so much.

      1. Yeah, I am really prone to accidentally swallowing a drink and choking a bit, plus my allergies are the kind that provoke coughing.

   2. Wait, you’re upset that somebody is coughing in the building they live in? Why not try showing some grace for your neighbors. And yeah, wear a mask in common areas, that’s nothing new.

8. Thanks to those who replied on the morning post – I’ve asked my boss if I can dial down. I’ve never done something like that before, but I think it made the most sense here.

   When I’m looking for new jobs I’m not going to look for consulting ones. I like working on different projects, but I also like being part of a full team and feeling like I can contribute to an org’s growth, and consulting isn’t doing that. You’re always the outsider by definition.

9. Would you quit your job if you had a conversation with your boss for the sixth or seventh time in six months saying, “I’d like to be included more and for us to be more collaborative” and your boss literally responded, “I don’t understand.”

   I mean…that’s what he said, when I said, “include me in meetings, cc me.”

   The conversation then ranged from “I always include you–you’re paranoid” to “I don’t include you on everything and asking to be included on everything is not possible” (not what I asked!) to “A lot of stuff is secret so I can’t include you” to “you’re the only one who feels this way, so it’s you, not me” to “I can’t include you because you haven’t finished all your other projects” (note, I don’t have a role where I will ever finish all of my projects at once–this is a straw man argument).

   It’s time for me to quit, right? Or just goad them into firing me and giving me severance. This some next-level gaslighting, right?

   1. Yes, you need to find a new job asap.

   2. It depends. Not enough context to know if your boss has a point. I can’t tell my directs everything, some things are secret. Stop and think about whether there’s merit there and make your decision accordingly.

      1. Agreed. I have kept my direct reports out of the loop for various reasons. Some related to the person’s performance, like if they were getting too distracted by information that was helpful/interesting but not necessary. And some unrelated to the person’s performance, like confidential work that I was asked to do. Frankly, you seem to have already made up your mind that the relationship with your boss is going to be a difficult one, and I’ll bet that will be a self-fulfilling prophecy because of your attitude.

         1. Yes, it has been difficult. We’ve been in “deal mode” (all nighters and the like) for 4 of the past 6 months. He’s been here six months. I did everything possible to set him up for success–tons of onboarding support, and then he promptly looped me out of everything that I had previously done for the prior 18 mos. I’m really trying to feel like he has reasons and, thanks, SA–presume good intentions–but it’s really hard.

            He also cuts me off on conference calls and makes cutting comments. I was trying to rise above it until outside counsel took me aside and said, “Why is he like that?” It’s hard.

            I think maybe he’s a Todd–he says the right stuff and is super-slick, but is really only interested in Todd’s success.

            1. Classic workplace harassment.

   3. Would it change your answer if I told you I’m in a corporate department of three, administer options for the whole company (and thus have 100% salary visibility) and do all Board prep? There’s literally not much I don’t know at the Co…but apparently a lot I shouldn’t know?

10. Please, please don’t change the Suit of the Week feature. I look for it every week. I know not everyone needs to wear suits anymore, but some of us do. It’s only one day a week!

Comments are closed.