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Updated: Dec 9, 2020 212 Comments · by

Suit of the Week: Ann Taylor

Suit of the Week

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

For busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional.

Winter white suits are classics — but they do require a certain level of polish before you even put it on. After all, if you're the type of person to drop spaghetti on your blazer or pants, the look probably isn't for you.

This double breasted option from Ann Taylor is a nice take on the classic. I like the black buttons, as well as the creaminess to the white. The blazer is $198 and the pants are $119, both available in regular and petite sizes 00-18.

Do note that today you can take $100 off $200+ or $150+ off $250+, giving you a pretty great deal today — both pieces come down to $167. Nice. (Ooooh: love this dark dark green suit also!)

I haven't been to Ann Taylor in a while, so I thought I'd round up some of my latest favorites — you can click through with the arrows.

Sales of note for 9.30.24

Sales of note for 9.30.24

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. anonq

    Ideas on a congratulatory item I can have delivered to my friend who was just elected partner? Lives outside of NYC. I am not local and not a lawyer!

    • NY CPA

      Champagne or flowers seem appropriate for the situation. But if you want to send her an edible treat, Levain cookies (local to NYC) ship.

    • Anonymous

      I would do flowers or non-champagne wine. I find that a bottle of champagne/sparkling wine is too much for me alone (ha), it goes flat so I can’t drink it over a week, and I’m not having anyone over to celebrate. I know it’s a traditional “congrats” gift but I wish people would do *any other* wine instead!

    • Anonymous

      I think you can get 2 half-bottles of Veuve Cliquot on Drizzly — that way she doesn’t have to commit to opening a huge bottle. I got that for my friend when she got engaged.

    • Brunette Elle Woods

      If I could have anything it would be prosecco and a Luke’s lobster roll. You can have them both delivered to her home.

  2. Gap shipping

    Anyone else have this experience with Gap? I bought 10 pairs of undies on Black Friday. So far…I’ve received 1 in a single shipment. They said they shipped 2 more in a second shipment but it still only shows as “label created” in the system after a week, and then I think I’ve got at least 3 other shipments coming for the rest although 1 still has no shipping info. Seems ridiculously inefficient!

    • anon

      Wow, that is crazy. They must be fulfilling your order through a bunch of stores.

      Quick shipping is moderately unreliable these days. I’m wrapping up all my online Christmas orders this week, just in case.

    • Vicky Austin

      Old Navy was really slow on an order I placed right before TG. Maybe they were just having trouble/being careful.

      • pugsnbourbon

        It took more than two months after they’d received the return for Old Navy to issue me a refund. So only order a)if you can wait and b)if you know it’ll fit!

    • Anonymous

      I ordered 4 pairs of leggings from Target for my kid and each one came in a separate package on a different day. I was a little stabby.

      • Anon

        Please don’t get too upset about items that are delivered to your door. The inconvenience of separate shipments is quite minor.

        • Anonymous

          ??? No actually some of us have to go to our apartment mail room every day to search for a single package of tights x 10 or guard our porch 24/7 until something arrives to prevent theft. It’s not a convenience & I would buy elsewhere if the seller was upfront about that.

          I have the same problem with Target.

        • Anom

          It not the inconvenience for me. It’s the fact that I’m trying to be efficient in my remote shopping to reduce the amount of unnecessary packaging and extra shipping but unwittingly contributed to the problem.

      • Anonymous

        For those thinking it’s better for the environment to receive at once, that’s not always the case. I attended some education relating to logistics recently and the carbon footprint to move to a central storing area vs. putting in with a bigger shipment already heading toward your area may actually be higher. They also have to factor in things like void fill and one package filling space on a larger shipment already heading toward an area.

    • Jules

      I ordered several items from Gap Factory/BR Factory in a single order on 11/27 and they are coming in three shipments. The first – with the item I wanted and needed the least – arrived pretty quickly but the last two items were purportedly “shipped” on 12/4. However, the tracking info shows only that a USPS (not UPS) label was created that day, but the package still has not been picked up.

    • Cat

      Shipping is kind of a disaster generally right now and Gap was never great to begin with so… should be interesting holidays.

    • Shipping

      Not GAP, but in the past 24 hours I’ve called up two retailers, one large, one small – one using Fedex, one using UPS – where I’ve had a product stalled out with a shipping label but no movement for several days. Both said that the items were lost somewhere at the shipping facility, they’re not sure what happened. In one case, it was a time sensitive gift ordered weeks ago and I had to scramble to courier something local and in another, it was an expensive piece of electronics where the item is now out of stock. Refunds will take a few days to come through
      So definitely a word of warning to stay on top of shipments proactively!

    • Anon

      This happens since COVID.

      I ordered underpants a while ago from them and each color came separately. Plus, one was backordered (which I knew).

  3. Anonymouse

    Job interview today! First time interviewing via zoom, having to do it remotely as I’m home sick. Wish me luck

  4. anon

    My husband is someone who doesn’t like a lot of use-specific gadgets, especially in the kitchen. I know some of y’all are like that too so this question is for y’all. Would he (you) like a wok? We make a fair amount of stir fry, fried rice, etc., and we are planning to attend a virtual fried rice class in February (not part of the gift).

    We have Le Creuset pots so we have their skillet, which is kind of small, and a standard-sized cast iron skillet. Would a wok be a good addition?

    • Anonymous

      I feel like woks are the quintessential “gift that takes up a ton of room that few would ever use,” but your husband might be the exception if he likes to make stir fry a lot.

    • Digby

      I make a lot of stir-fries, and I don’t want a wok. I have limited storage, and woks seem pretty big and bulky. I also have heard that a standard home cooktop won’t produce the BTUs necessary to make a wok truly useful.

    • Jules

      I have a deep, 12″ ceramic pan that is a cross between a skillet and a wok, and I use it for stir fries and a lot of other things. The one I have and love – in regular use for 7 years, looks almost brand new – is discontinued but this is similar.

      https://www.amazon.com/GreenPan-Ceramic-Non-Stick-Helper-Handle/dp/B00AIKX7K2/ref=sr_1_6?dchild=1&keywords=12%22+ceramic+wok+pan&qid=1607546098&s=home-garden&sr=1-6

      And this one has a lid:

      https://www.amazon.com/Wok-Chefs-Pan-Glass-Lid/dp/B00OAYMF1E/ref=sr_1_17?dchild=1&keywords=12%22+ceramic+wok+pan&qid=1607546294&s=home-garden&sr=1-17

      Something like this would be more versatile than the more classic wok with two small handles.

      (I saw the Le Creuset does have a wok, it is crazy expensive.)

    • Cat

      No, we do plenty of stir fry and use our regular nonstick pan just fine. We received a wok as a gift once and ended up donating it since it was annoying to store and also hard to clean.

    • anon

      I have a lot of pots and pans, and we rarely use our wok. I’d rather have a large (12 inch or more) stainless steel skillet or sautee pan. Since you have Le Creuset and regular cast iron skillets, maybe a sautee pan (flat bottom, straight sides). I’ve made fried rice in my large sautee pan, and it worked out because of the large surface area on the bottom and the ability to get it to a high heat, but the large, stainless sautee pan is a lot more versatile. Caveat that my version of “worked out” is for a white American whose exposure to fried rice is mostly to inauthentic restaurant versions.

    • Anon

      I hate hate hate specialized kitchen gadgets, especially if you’re low on space. My roommate looooooooves them and it drives me insane. I vote for no wok.

    • NYNY

      I’m a bit of a minimalist with kitchen gear, mostly because I have minimal storage space, and I love my wok. I use it to saute veggies all the time, even though I’m only rarely stir frying. The large space to toss things around is really helpful, and better then a saute pan IMHO. I’ve also gone way off-label with it and used it to make pasta sauce. Again, the large size means I can toss the cooked pasta into the sauce and finish cooking that way.

    • Senior Attorney

      I agree UNLESS you have unlimited space. I have a wok and use it and really like it, but… it’s pretty annoying to store.

    • Jules

      My comment with links is stuck in mod land, but the 12″ skillet/wok thing I have is not difficult to store; it nests with my other skillets and saute pans.

    • KT

      Agree that a large non stick skillet may have more utility (plus considering there can’t be that many fried rice classes, you will be fine without a Wok for this one and it is a blast!)

    • Anon

      Absolutely not. A wok requires a specialized burner to use correctly. Otherwise you have a small amount of a huge pan in contact with the flame. For a western stove/range, a regular big skillet is what you want for stir-fries.

    • anan

      We have a wok and seldom use it. ( I’m Asian and makes lots of stir fries, , etc) I find I get a better sear in my 6 qt saute pan. It is really hard to get your burner hot enough to make the wok very effective, I find.
      HOwever, an Asian style spatula is invaluable.

    • Anonymous

      Asian American here and… I don’t have a wok. I do plenty of stir-fry and fried rice and get by with a deep bottomed 12in stainless steel skillet and a 10in non-stick saucepot thing. HOWEVER, if you get a wok, you can do lots and lots of things ranging from your stirfry to deep fry to making soup in it (anecdata from watching my grandma do these things in the old country). The slightly tricky bit is that American stoves aren’t really made for woks so you may need an additional holder thing if you get a round-bottom wok.

    • Anon

      Get a braiser from Le Creuset. It can be used for whatever you’d use a wok for, plus a million other things. I use mine nearly daily and I’ve had it for > 5 years.

      • Anon

        PS I also have the Staub Perfect Pan. It has rounded sides that are more wok-like, and a glass lid rather than a cast iron lid. I don’t really need both the Staub and the Le Creuset, but my teenage son loves to cook and he really wanted the Staub. He will take it when he moves out someday.

        My braiser is the 3.5 qt, 11.75” model. (Lid size 30.) I use it for stir fries, braises, and as a roasting pan.

        The Staub is slightly better for stir fry but not as good for braises due to its greater depth at 4.5 qts. The idea of a braiser is that the lid sits closer to your food. I’m not sure whether the glass lid on the Staub can go into the oven – we’ve never used it that way.

        Anyway, for me personally, I’d go for the Le Creuset braiser. I make a roast chicken in it at least weekly. It’s the pan I grab for just about everything.

      • kk

        I also second this- the 5qt braiser from le creuset (Crate and Barrel calls it the everyday pan) is hands down the most used thing in our kitchen. It doesnt even have a dedicated drawer spot because we just leave it out on the stove all the time. I use it anytime I’d make a stir fry, but also for everything else. I felt so vindicated when we went to a cooking class and they had us using them too- they heat evenlt, wear like iron, and are gorgeous to boot.

    • Tea/Coffee

      If you have other pots and pans that you can stack the wok with, the wok really won’t take up much space at all. We have a wok and use it regularly – only about half the time for actual stirfries. It’s just nice to have a ton of surface area and volume to toss things around.

    • Nesprin

      Hmmm, I use my wok(s) regularly- it’s great for cooking/mixing large amounts of food on a stove. They’re deeper than standard frying pans so better for fried rice/stir fry etc. Woks are not like waffle makers (i.e. good at one specific dish, useless otherwise)- they’re frying pans for anything that should move around during cooking.

    • Of Counsel

      An outlier here but I love my work – although mine has a flat bottom so it is not completely traditional but also not hard to store. I would trade in all of my frying pans before I got rid of my wok since I use it for a LOT of things.

  5. Blue Christmas

    Maybe the pandemic + holiday combination is getting to me, but I am feeling so, so sad this week. I keep replaying old Christmases in my head. I miss my deceased grandparents terribly. I saw that my paternal grandpa’s name is now one of the top “old man” baby names and wanted to bawl because just the mention of his name made me miss him so much. (And I’m secretly thrilled that his name is coming back — it’s such a good name!) I miss that feeling of being a kid and being SO EXCITED for Christmas to come. I am sad about spending Christmas away from my parents and siblings this. I am grieving both the grandpa I lost earlier this year and the family member we lost a few weeks ago to Covid.

    I have so much to be grateful for, and trying to create Christmas magic for my kids is what’s keeping me steady this month, but gahhhhh … all the feelings are hitting me right now.

    • anonymous

      I hear ya. I posted below about my husband’s job loss and my my dad passing away. Right at this moment I’m doing okay, but some days are rough.

    • Anon

      My grandfathers both died three years ago and I’ve been really, really missing them this month. Sending you comforting vibes.

      • anon

        My grandmother died in 2012, and I feel like I miss her more this year than ever. I know part of that is my son’s emerging personality and thinking how much she would love him, and part is me re-creating some of her holiday traditions for him. I’m sure it also has to do with the pandemic and the general feelings of loneliness and grief too though.

    • Anonymous

      I love the line “tales of the glories of Christmases long long ago” from the song It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year, but it hits me every time i hear it. We also have lots to be grateful for, but I feel despondent as well.

    • Anonymous

      It’s okay to feel sad. I miss my grandparents so much too lately, but really focusing on practicing gratitude for the Christmas I am having (not the amazing Christmases I once had) has helped a lot. There is a lot to appreciate about my current Christmas and it’s special in its own way. I totally get you, though, and I’m very sorry about the losses you’ve had this year. It’s definitely okay to be sad.

    • Anon

      A few weeks ago I found myself full out body shaking sobbing over my grandfather who died a few years ago. Not quite sure what hit me but it was ugly. He was such an amazing person and I really was so blessed to have him in my life for 22 years. While I’ll always miss him, that level of grief was pretty unexpected this many years later. At the beginning of the pandemic I told my mom that this is the only time I’m grateful I have no living grandparents – I’d be so stressed worrying about them

      I’m actually tearing up now writing this.

      No help, just that I feel you and I’m sorry. Wishing you peace and comfort. You must have also had a really amazing grandfather to be so impacted by his passing.

      • Blue Christmas

        ((hugs)) It is so weird how grief can hit out of nowhere like that. Your grandpa must’ve been amazing. Totally hear you on almost being glad that you don’t have to worry about their health and well-being at this time.

    • Anon

      Do you have a list of those “old man” baby names that are coming back? I named my son after my grandfather (WWII veteran and incredible person) and hope his name makes a comeback.

      • Anon

        Yes, would love that list.

        I’m anon at 3:21 – planning on naming a kid after that grandfather and grandmother. Luckily the grandfather’s name is a run of the mill timeless mans name (think William, Charles, Thomas, Mark)… my grandmother, on the other hand, has a pretty dated name that I don’t particularity like (think Helen, Alice, Irene, Jean), and will require me to get a little creative!

      • Anonymous

        Not OP, but my grandfather’s name was Jack and I think I will definitely use it if I have a kid. You see a lot of Jacksons now, but I love Jack as a classic, timeless men’s name. My grandfather was a wonderful person and I’m so sad that he died before he could meet my husband. They would have been able to geek out together and swap stories and it sometimes hits me like an anvil that it can’t happen.

        • Anon

          I love the name Jack! (Agree that it’s much better than Jackson too! I’m team standalone Jack or Jack short for John)

          That was one of the things that hit me the hardest when I lost my grandfather at 22. I was so close with him and he had such an impact on my life that it crushed me that anyone I married would have never met him. Many of my cousins are a good bit older so not only did their spouses know and love my grandfather (my cousin’s husband was so sad at the funeral and I thought that was so sweet), but a few of them even have kids who were old enough to remember him, have a relationship with him and it was very sad to me that I wouldnt have that opportunity.

    • Bonnie Kate

      Hugs. I’ve had all the feelings this week too…your mentioning grandparents got to me. My grandmother was taken in an ambulance to the hospital this morning and I was so scared and furious that she was alone and that I couldn’t go be with her and that because of COVID I haven’t seen her for months and months and months. Luckily she was released within a few hours after she got a medication fix and seems to be doing much better, but holy cow I just feel raw.

      • Blue Christmas

        ((hugs)) I’m so sorry. I hope your grandmother feels better soon.

  6. anonymous

    The latter half of 2020 has been especially rough. My husband was laid off in September and then my dad passed away unexpectedly in November. I’m WFH full time and one of my cats is snuggled up right next to me on the couch. I’m thankful for these small moments of peace. Anything big or small making your day better?

    • Anonymous

      Christmas lights on all the time, while I WFH.
      Snuggly cats in a basket by my storm door
      The kissing ball I bought for my front porch – a ridiculous expense in other years
      My FIL’s beautiful funeral service last month, and that he didn’t suffer

      • Anonymous

        Christmas lights bring me so much joy. I take nightly walks and love looking at them.

        I also love sitting in my living room with all of the lights off with just a candle / fire in the fireplace and the lights on the tree on. It feels so special

    • Anonymous

      Buying an espresso machine earlier this summer and getting a six-foot Christmas tree (after years of getting tiny ones for tiny apartments) has helped A LOT. Also my cat decided to be silent all morning but then start tearing up a toilet paper roll right next to me while I was presenting on Zoom so that was amusing. Perfect time to tear up TP for the first time ever, right?

    • Anonymous

      It’s finally sunny after several days of gray, and that’s helping my mood.

    • Anon

      I went for a walk during lunch tiday and it was flurrying ! First snow we’ve had, so that’s always exiting.

      The above post has me crying missing my grandfather so I’m going to make a cup of tea and think of happy memories of him.

    • Blue Christmas

      I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope your husband finds another position soon, too.

      Despite my weepy post above, I am loving all the lights in my neighborhood. Taking evening walks while looking at lights is quite magical. My kitty cat has taken up residence in my home office, which is making me so happy.

        • Salty Cinnamon

          I rode thru a ritzy town next door to mine this evening. Their Christmas lights are so very Over The Top Obnoxious, but this year I smiled and teared up looking at them. Covid2020 amrite?

    • Explorette

      I was looking through old threads for gift ideas, and found a post from Ellen. So, that made my day!

      • Anonymous

        Was she telling someone whose husband cheated on her that she didn’t shake her tush enough or telling someone who lost her job that she should wear shorter skirts? You’re both disgusting.

    • Bonnie Kate

      It’s sunny here and warm for December in Wisconsin today. When I was waiting for my turn at the post office (one person in the office at a time right now) I stood outside in the sun and closed my eyes and just enjoyed the warmth.

    • Anonymous

      My husband and I had the Christmas gift conversation a few days ago. What do you want, I don’t know, what do you want, I’m kind of interested in this but don’t know if I need it and so on. This isn’t helped by both our birthdays being within a month of Christmas.

      Gifts are a big part of my love language, I really enjoy picking out things for people, wrapping, and watching people open gifts. I finally said you know, if we don’t need anything, the heck with it and wrote a $1000 check to the food bank. I am not really a make a donation instead of gift person, I give to charity regularly and I like presents! But this year, for Christmas, I am giving love. It may look like a check, but it’s love from me to my neighbors. This makes me happy.

    • Anon

      My entire family is under one roof for at least three weeks due to stay at home orders. This is good and bad, but we’re leaning into it by making it three weeks of Christmas – cookies, jigsaw puzzles, watching our local Nutcracker online, singing Christmas carols, etc. The house is decorated within an inch of its life. It looks like a Lifetime movie around here. We are usually too rushed and busy and all over the place to do all of this so it’s been a silver lining for us this year.

  7. Anonymous

    Is anyone else having conflicting feelings about COVID rules? One the one hand, I have no tolerance for people complaining they can’t have a giant wedding. It is the height of privilege to be able to have a big wedding anyway. Crying about missing out on “your” party – as if it’s something you’re entitled to – when people are dying by the thousands is impossibly self centered. If I hear one more article telling brides it’s ok to “grieve” their wedding I’m going to vomit. Don’t get me started on people who actually move forward with their weddings.

    At the same time, I was very disturbed to read a story about authorities pulling a boy and his mother off a plane like an hour after the boy’s COVID test came back positive. Don’t get me wrong, this family had no business getting on a plane knowing they were waiting on test results. But I find it very disturbing that a person’s health records are now so publicly available that the authorities can track you down like you’re some kind of criminal. I’m also disturbed that this incident is being hailed as a “success” of the system and not a very sad and unfortunate thing that had to happen to keep other people safe. Maybe it was just the tone of the article. I’m also concerned this kind of thing will discourage people from getting tested. I don’t see people signing up to give the government free reign to track them down. I don’t have any answers, it’s a very delicate balance, but I guess I’m discouraged that people seem to have an all or nothing approach.

    • Sloan Sabbith

      It’s a weird time but regarding your last example, no, I have no issues with that. Putting potentially hundreds of (trapped) people at risk by being covid-positive in a confined space for possibly many hours SHOULD be the time when public health authorities step in. They’re not tracking the steps of everyone who tests positive, but when it comes to things like air travel, that’s personally OK with me and I do consider it a success- their actions may very well have saved many lives. We’re in this because people want there to be flexibility and in many ways that’s just not realistic if we ever want to go back to normal.

      • Ellen

        Agree with Sloan. If the kid has COVID, I have no problem pulling him the F off the plane. What other answer is there? The little tuchushead should not be traveling at all, let alone in a place where he could spread COVID to the other innocent travelers! How dumb it would be would be let that little tuchus fly! FOOEY on him and his family!

    • Horse Crazy

      I mean…I think spreading a potentially deadly virus IS criminal, so I don’t have a problem with that. If you were a passenger on the plane, you rather these people get pulled off the plane, or not get pulled off and you find out later that you were exposed to COVID, when these people could have easily been removed from the situation? For me, this approaches the attitude of “but I have rights!”, and not understanding that your rights are not absolute. Does that boy’s right to privacy outweigh the rights of everyone on that plane to stay safe? (Adding that I don’t think it’s smart to fly right now at all…)

    • Anonymous

      “…track you down like you’re some kind of criminal.”

      They were engaging in criminal behavior. It is illegal to ignore public health orders. We live in a republic (for now, anyway) and presumably understood the consequences of their actions, which were public and known. This wasn’t some kind of situation where they were charged for an invented crime ex post facto.

      • Anonymous

        Also, I am 100% fine with the COVID-positive couple that boarded a plane from California to Hawaii getting arrested/fined. They knew their results, were told to quarantine, decided not to, and reaped what they had sown. Personal responsibility matters.

      • LaurenB

        You’d have no problem if the police stopped someone who appeared to be driving drunk, or if the local health authorities shut down a restaurant where a known typhoid carrier was working. I’ve had enough of the mah free-dumbs crowd; they are why practically every part of the country is a Covid hot zone.

    • Sunshine71

      My BIL is one of those plowing ahead with a wedding next month regardless of the pandemic. He and his fiancee seem to think that limiting to around 100 guests is sufficient. I’m certain most of the family will show up. I won’t, and I know my husband will be conflicted becuase he will want to be there for his brother even though he knows it’s not a good idea. It’s so frustrating and I feel bad that my husband is being put in the position of having to upset someone regardless of the choice he makes.

        • Sunshine71

          Yes, I didn’t say they couldn’t. I said I feel for my husband in this situation, not them.

          • Anonymous

            Yeah I see that, I just meant that making someone upset in a situation like this is not something for you or your husband to feel bad about.

      • LaurenB

        What is his rationale? Is it that Covid is a hoax, is it that he thinks he’s put in enough safety precautions such as bottles of sanitizer or masks, is it that he thinks it’s no big deal / just like getting the flu? Is it a deliberate “snub” to authorities and expertise — the rebel yee-haw type? I don’t know what to tell you. There is no one I would attend a 100 person event for at this moment in time.

    • Anon

      There’s a well-known food/diet personality with over 300K Instagram followers who now has COVID. She has been working out in the gym within the last week (with a cloth mask) in her red state that is absolutely slammed with COVID, ICUs maxed out, etc. She also posted an Instagram story from the park this morning, which gives you a sense of how some people are “quarantining.” The answer is no, I’m not mad at the rules. I’m mad at selfish people who do what they want to do no matter what and am tired of being told to be understanding.

    • Anon

      “Crying about missing out on “your” party – as if it’s something you’re entitled to –”

      I’ve been trying to figure out what your issue is, and I’ve got it narrowed down:
      1. Never married, or
      2. Had a big splashy princess wedding and think the commoners should get married in rags.

      Most people believe that if you can afford it and it makes you happy (and does not impose on your guests in weird ways, such as on a Wednesday, on the day your brother graduates from college, etc.), then yes, people are actually ‘entitled’ to the big party.

      During a pandemic, the proper response is to get married with a small, socially distant group of close family and friends in attendance (if even that), and have the amazing party once the vaccine is out.

      • Anon

        Society has convinced you that you are entitled to this. You aren’t. It’s just that simple.

    • Anonymous

      This isn’t actually new. There was that big story years back about the CDC tracking down a guy traveling while TB+ against orders.

    • Anon

      I mean, it’s against the law in most places to know you have HIV and have unprotected sex without disclosing it. I don’t see the difference.

  8. Anonymous

    I’m curious if anyone has ever been in this situation, and what you did –

    I dated a colleague. No one knew about it. He broke it off with me and I’m devastated. Now I’m considering transferring to another department because my daily life working with him is torture (he’s not rude to me or anything, I’m just head over heels in love with him. I really considered him my soul mate). I have definitely learned my lesson about dating at work, but am I being ridiculous to consider transferring departments? I think my boss and team would be very surprised (one senior person might even be mad at me if I transfer because they brought me to the company a few years ago). It would not be a downgrade for my career per se, and I would even try to get a position bump out of it. Take the plunge and make my daily life better or continue to feel like this until I don’t feel like this anymore? I should say I don’t plan on staying at this company forever, but at least the next 3+ years.

    • anon

      Look into moving departments. If you can get a bump out of it, all the better.
      I know the rule is not to date coworkers but people do it, and when it doesn’t work out it can be quietly awkward. Time will help diffuse your feelings, but I understand that it’s probably really painful right now. Take good care of yourself, be as professional as possible at work, and look into other options that aren’t around him.

    • pnw anon

      I haven’t been there, but I would absolutely transfer. No need to explain to anyone other than the usual “wanted to broaden experience base” sort of thing.
      I made a big change to my work environment for personal reasons, and it was the best decision i ever made. You don’t need to struggle. This isn’t a tough workout where if you push through the pain you will reap the reward. You can be thankful for the senior person who brought you on and still make a career decision to transfer out. If that senior had to fire you they would feel bad but still go through with the firing because it is business.
      It’s like living with your ex after breaking up. Not conducive for healing!
      Good luck out there – keep your chin up :) You can make something good from this with some reframing and fresh start.

      • pnw anon

        After thinking about this some more and looking at the other responses, I still think if I were in your position I would put out feelers to move. You don’t have to go through with it, but I always find exploring options gives me a feeling of choice when in a situation that feels limiting.
        Someone said below not to let him hijak your career, but if you would be planning a move in 3 years anyway, why not explore options now? It can start as a reaction to current circumstances, but it doesn’t have to be a move that you make to get away from him. It could be an opening for a great new career opportunity you might not have otherwise known about.
        Looking into what moves are currently available is not the same as putting in your notice. Put some balls in the air and see how you feel as opportunities develop.

    • Monday

      I heard this issue raised once on an advice podcast. The advisor pointed out that you probably can’t do your best work in this situation, no matter how well you’re hiding your feelings for the person. So she felt the best decision both emotionally and professionally was to leave.

      • Ellen

        Agree with Monday. Dad says this is why you should NEVER S***IT where you eat (whatever that is suposed to mean).

        If she never started dating (and presumably having s-x with) him, she would not be in the pickel she is in today.

    • Senior Attorney

      Don’t do it now in the heat of the moment. Can you take a little time off to cool down a bit before deciding?

    • Jules

      I don’t have any experience or advice to share with you, but just want to say I’m sorry you’re going through this very painful experience, it sounds awful.

      And, actually, I do have a little advice. Don’t do anything just yet. It sounds like this situation is too fresh for you to be making decisions that could affect your career. Think about the adivce given to people after a divorce or death of a spouse – don’t make any sudden decisions or major changes.

      Sending you internet hugs.

    • PNW

      I would say try to ride it out. It doesn’t sound like you have reasons to request a transfer other than to avoid him, and it’s usually best to avoid big life decisions while in an emotional state like this. I know it feels horrible right now, but 6 months from now it might not and you might be glad you waited. Or you may have found other reasons to move on that support more of your life than just trying to not see him. Try to make plans when he’s not looming so large in your decision making process.

      And I’m sorry in general, it sucks and unrequited love is just the worst.

    • Anonymous

      How long has it been since it ended?

      I also dated a colleague, and when things ended the first 6ish months were rough — it was mutually for the best (our life goals are not compatible) but I was very very sad and still had feelings for him at the time, and there was some drunk texting in there. It’s been 3 years now, we now work together more closely than ever and are good work-friends. We’ve both moved on and are happy for each other but don’t discuss our personal lives in any great detail. It took around a year or so to get to the point where working together wasn’t awkward. No one knows we dated.

    • Anon

      This dude gets to break your heart AND hijack your career? Hells no. Stop giving away your power.

  9. Anon

    Thoughts on a gift for a daycare provider?

    Our child’s daycare provider will be leaving soon to take a new role. Our kid seems to love going to her room; due to COVID restrictions, we can’t really see them interact, but he’s happy when he is dropped off and happy when he’s picked up. She seems to do a lot of things with the babies.

    I’m thinking of a gift card to someplace like Ulta with a card – anyone have better thoughts? Even if she’s not into makeup, they have conditioner, masks, hairbrushes, things everyone uses for basic grooming.

    • Anon

      Most daycare workers do not get paid well. Personally, I would do a gift card to target. When I was living on a $30k salary in a HCOL area, I wanted money to spend on necessities or fun items that fit my interests. I couldn’t have cared less about having a $20 bottle of shampoo instead of my normal $5 one.

    • InHouse Anon

      Ulta seems oddly specific unless you know her well enough to know she’ll use it. With daycare, my answer is always cash as first choice and if cash won’t work, then generic gift card like target or walmart.

    • Anon

      Cash, cash, cashity cash.

      (Signed, a mom of young kids who has always given providers cash).

    • Anon

      My goal is to get her a gift card to someplace fun but not a complete splurge. Her new role, which she told us, probably comes with about at $10k or a $15k pay raise.

    • LaurenB

      I agree with Target. Far more useful than Ulta. I would only do Ulta if you have a specific reason to believe she would appreciate beauty stuff or has expressed an interest in trying beauty things that she cannot easily afford.

  10. j

    Hi Hive. I’m working out of my basement and I’m freezing. I have a space heater, fuzzy slippers and a lap blanket and I’m still freezing. I had the idea that a heated rug or heating pad under my feet might help, since I think it’s mostly cold coming up from the floor. My searches have found heated footwarmers and heated footstools. Does anyone have any experience with any of these products (Cozy Toes or Happy Heat or any other companies) or any other recommendations? It’s our first cold snap in DC, but there are plenty more to come!

    • Anon

      If your feet are really cold, you could try one of those, but it seems a little inefficient- like you’d be sending a lot of heat to the floor and not to you. I’m a big fan of a heating pad wrapped around my neck and upper back (I have one specifically designed for neck pain) since my neck tends to get really cold and this makes me feel much warmer. It also works on the seat of my chair or my lap and of course for anything else you’d normally use a heating pad for so it’s not just a one use gadget.

    • Anon

      Yep, just get a heating pad! I have a larger size one that I frequently sit on because my bottom gets cold and stays cold, but heating it up heats up the rest of me ha. And an electric blanket! They are so great!

    • Anonymous

      I put plastic (the clear kits you shrink with a hair dryer) on our basement windows that I work under and that has helped a ton. The steps up to the main floor are near my work area, with a door at the top. I keep the door closed. Those two things along with my $30 space heater are huge improvements.

    • Anonymous

      A rug to insulate the floor a little more, and then something warm at your torso.

      • Sr. Assoc.

        +1. I was working in our modified garage but the cement floor got to be too much. I did look into ways to insulate the floor better since we are considering turning it into a guest area in the far future and it will need to be a bit warmer. If its in the cards for you, maybe look into a longer term solution like that.

    • Anon

      Use an electric blanket like a wrap, particularly behind your legs where you can feel drafts.

    • anonshmanon

      I used to have such a thing in my cold office. I think it was toasty toes. It combines the heater with an ergonomic footrest. So if you normally don’t use a footrest, this might screw up your posture, because it will lift your feet 2-3 inches. But yeah, it does make the toes toasty!

  11. fodder for law nerdery

    IANAL and IDK anything of substance about how the law works, but I am so curious about the absurd lawsuit that TX filed with SCOTUS about the election results. All the lower courts have thrown out or denied the other lawsuits, so why are they trying to pursue this one? Do states actually have standing to sue other states over election results? Does SCOTUS actually have to read and consider the arguments in the lawsuit to decide if they actually hear it/rule on it, or can they just reject it out of hand as nonsense? I’m clearly biased about this, but it just seems absurd to me that one state can sue other states and ask to just have their votes tossed out. And apparently other states that went red have also joined in on this suit? I just do not understand how this is a thing. At all.

    • Anonymous

      It is nonsense and hopefully SCOTUS will summarily deny. Though interesting that they ordered a response. Also interesting and maybe a little bit telling that the AG filed it instead of the Solicitor General in Texas. Maybe the solicitor didn’t want to actually attach his name to it. But there are many problems with it–including standing, laches, separation of powers.

    • Anonymous

      Someone on Reddit commented if this means NY, NJ, CT, and CA can also sue the states who don’t have mask orders for spreading COVID?

      I’m not a lawyer, I don’t know if Texas has any hope with this, but we should all be furious that with a pandemic raging and our citizens struggling so mightily, our elected officials apparently think they are on a reality TV show and need to outdo each other with stupid to make sure they get air time.

      • Anon

        No.

        The Constitution requires that state legislators make the laws pertaining to selecting President. That did not happen in the subject states; courts or emergency orders changed the laws without the consent of the legislatures and the results were close enough to change the outcome of the election.

        There’s no requirement in the Constitution for states to mandate that their citizens wear masks.

        • Ellen

          Dad says filing a lawsuit doesnt mean it has any merit. He is right. Half the cases on Judge Judy are nonsensical, and they are only doing it to be able to split the $ pot the show provides to the litigantes. Dad says if you are willing to take a free trip to California, get put up in a hotel, and then spend maybe 15-30 minutes allowing her to make a fool out of you for $5000 (split between plaintiff and defendant), you too can be on TV. Personally, I would never go on any TV show unless I were first confident I would not look fat. They can put lenses on the cameras that make you look worse then you normally do.

    • Anonymous

      IANAL, but I read that Paxton is just trying to get on the Pardon List. It’s not actually expected to go anywhere.

    • Anonymous

      It is nonsense. The Supreme Court is generally an appellate court (can only hear appeals from lower court cases) but it has original jurisdiction over states suing other states. The Supreme Court can accept the case or refuse to hear the case. It will go nowhere and they know it. They have no hope of winning and are wasting taxpayer money. It is also basically the end of the line for legal challenges to the election.

    • LaurenB

      IANAL as well. It sounds like a bunch of other states have joined Texas in this? Can’t the SCOTUS be more forceful and shut this nonsense down once and for all?

    • Airplane.

      If you are looking for a great no nonsense explanation of this – Sharon McMahon has stories on this, I think in a highlight. She’s a former government teacher prof and explains it. But yes, it’s largely known to be a publicity stunt, no merits to the lawsuit.

  12. Anon

    I have a question about giving away homemade cookies, in any holiday season, not just 2020. I keep seeing people posting that they won’t eat what they receive, and it honestly never occurred to me that people are tossing or regifting my cookies.

    Are they? I doubt my friends or co-workers are dieting for weight, and I’m very careful to accommodate allergies and medical restrictions. I’d like to think they look and taste pretty good (since I keep the fails). Are holiday baked goods so out of fashion now?

    • Blue Christmas

      Gosh, I hope it’s not out of style. I love getting cookie trays from friends and family members. They’re good bakers, and I can’t make everything I like because I’m not a one-woman cookie factory. ;) I tend to avoid gifting treats to my friends who have serious food allergies/restrictions/what have you, but it’s fair game for everyone else. I have to assume that people are eating them because I often receive specific comments about how a particular cookie tasted, or they want to swap recipes.

    • Anon

      Oh I hope not! I love receiving homemade baked goods from family and friends!

      In covid, I have no concerns. I order takeout often enough, so I see no difference in that vs receiving Christmas cookies from a friend.

      I feel that normally people give a reasonable amount of goodies for me to eat, but if they give me too many I’ll bring them to work / share with friends, not as a regift/I don’t want these but as a sharing the wealth concept. I try to eat healthily but will never turn down homemade treats.

    • anon

      Honestly, some people probably end up regifting or tossing some of it. My family enjoys treats, doesn’t diet, and has no allergies. There have been years where we’ve ended up with so much food, we toss 50% of it, including the stuff we make.

      The same is true of basically any other gift, especially one given to different friends and coworkers. Gift cards languish. Some people don’t drink. Many people don’t enjoy smelly candles. A lot of women have a basket of hand creams, etc. they didn’t personally enjoy.

      Give cheerfully. After that, you have no control what happens to your gift.

      • anon

        I suppose the fact that we end up with a lot of food means it’s not out of style in my circles. Also, we enjoy some of everything and toss leftovers before New Year’s :-)

    • NY CPA

      Not me! I would think it would be extremely rude for someone to do that. I can sort of get that people might be a bit suspicious this year (though I’m strongly in the COVID-doesnt-spread-through-food camp), but in any other year, I can’t even imagine. I could see throwing away extras if you gave me a ton and they went stale or something. Or even bringing in for my colleagues if I was trying to be better about my diet. But otherwise, no.

      • anon

        Ugh this is upsetting that people feel this way and part of why I struggled with my weight for years. It’s pretty gross to pressure people into eating/keeping gifts. If you are attached to how the gift is used by the giftee it’s not actually a gift for them, it’s a gift for you. The day I made the realization that I didn’t have to keep things I don’t want because they were a gift or eat things I don’t really want to eat just because so and so made it was a good day. I’m much happier now enjoying things I want to enjoy rather than trying to make everyone else happy by performing their version of my enjoyment

    • Anonymous

      We have a high-risk person in our house and we would definitely eat cookies if we trusted the source. I wouldn’t be worried about getting COVID from some people I don’t trust as much, but I might worry about expired ingredients or moldy dairy…

    • Anonymous

      Nah I just think people who fret about this are more likely to comment on line. I give away baked goods often they seem to be welcomed enthusiastically.

    • AnonInfinity

      I usually bake cookies for Christmas, and I think everyone (or almost everyone) enjoys them. Many people mention specific cookies later, which makes me think that they did actually eat them. Some people might toss some or all of the cookies, but I figure I give the gift with a generous spirit and hopefully the recipients feel the same way. Likewise, I eat the treats I’m given, or at least share with others if I’ve got too many sweets in the house!

    • Anon

      I happily eat cookies! But I have an iron stomach and no food allergies or other issues. I understand if people who are more sensitive feel differently, especially if it comes from someone they don’t know, and especially this year.

      I think most people take gifts in the spirit offered and even if they toss them, appreciate the gift. Like the example mentioned above, I’m extremely sensitive to scents and would immediately throw away a scented candle or lotion if someone gave it to me, but I’d still be happy they thought of me (even if the gift showed that they clearly don’t know me very well!).

        • Anon

          Not the OP, but I also throw them away. People are just generally not that clean. I commented yesterday that I got hives from a friend’s muffins. I’m highly allergic to dogs, and even though she swears she keeps her pets out of the room while she bakes, clearly fur or dander got in there and gave me a reaction.

          There is only one person at my work I accept food from. He runs a jams & jellies business out of his house, and his kitchen literally has to pass FDA inspection.

          • anonshmanon

            I guess you have tried refusing them first but people are just super pushy trying to gift you their homemade goods?

          • anon

            Not who you are responding to but people are extremely pushy about baked goods in my experience

          • LaurenB

            Um, the rude thing would be to refuse someone handing you a homemade tin of cookies or loaf of banana bread. It’s not rude to take them, and then bring them home and give them to someone else, have your partner bring them to work, or simply get throw them away if they aren’t to your liking. What’s the difference to the person if I thank them profusely and then I quietly wind up throwing them away because I don’t like pistachio or I’m trying to cut down on sweets or I’m saving my calories for some other sweet treat? Why would you ever be rude to someone trying to do a nice thing?

    • Anon

      I get begged every year by family to send certain cookies (they’re a PITA, so it’s a true act of COVID Care that I’m sending them this year) – I’d die if they threw out that hard work! ha

    • Anonymous

      I regift almost all treats I receive because I have dietary restrictions and I don’t trust people to not poison me (even if by accident) the only person who I trust has the same restrictions I do and an incredibly clean home.

      • Anon

        Normally I bring them to the office to share. If it’s somehow from the office, I try to give them away to someone who eats treats. I do try to regift home baked goods that someone put effort into and that someone else presumably would enjoy.

        I personally have more medical dietary restrictions than people realize I have; I’m embarrassed to share the complete list with people, but I also really suffer if I don’t adhere to it. I had one dear coworker who knew all my dietary restrictions and accommodated them, which I’ll never forget. She made berries dipped in chocolate, which were incredible… and also probably expensive and laborious to make separately!

    • Anonymous

      im extremely conservative re: covid in interactions with others (no indoor spaces to the extent possible for me) but i am totally fine with take out food and cookies. worst case, people can microwave the cookies for 20 s and that will kill many viruses (many pubmed articles for this) and also covid is not frequently transmitted by eating food anyway

    • Anonymous

      I don’t enjoy baked goods, so no, I would not eat them. Most people close enough to give me a gift know this about me; it’s not a secret. But I would also very much appreciate the homemade gift and enjoy sharing them with someone who would actually enjoy them. I know how much goes into baking (GBBO for the world!) and I would never ever say anything but “thank you” to the giver. That is what I did with the candy my assistants gave me last year. They know I don’t eat candy, but they absolutely shouldn’t have to pick out something different for me when everyone else is getting candy.

    • Anon

      I eat them! Even the weird ones I don’t love… this thread is interesting to me, assuming no food restrictions it did not occur to me that some people would just throw them all away. We’re not talking sketchy raw shellfish here, the cookies are baked!

      • Anon

        I noticed before that people have an aversion to foods prepared in someone else’s home. They assume cats are on the counter, etc. Apparently, they are not aware of what happens in restaurants and food packaging facilities.

        After I found that out, I don’t think I would ever bring anything to a potluck not packaged/unopened…

    • Airplane.

      I’ll be honest. I say thank you but it’s 50/50 whether I ever eat them past one bite. I try hard to give them away so as not to waste. I appreciate the thought, I do! But people are very pushy about their own baking, they get personally offended if you refuse or don’t effusively praise the outcome, they overestimate their kitchen’s cleanliness and they honestly overestimate how good they are at baking!

      The only baked goods I enjoy are the kind that come out of a non-commercial kitchen – croissants, marjolaine cakes, Asian pastries,etc. Everything else – homemade cookies, grocery store pies etc. I will hard pass.

      But I smile and say thank you and try to give it away to someone who will actually enjoy the treat.

  13. Anonymous

    Specific question which may not get responses here (or may take hours to post in which case I’ll try posting in the morning) — does anyone have a legal recruiter that deals with Virginia? DC is fine but I’m thinking more Tyson’s and Richmond. Litigator in government now looking to explore regional firms; I feel like lots of recruiters tend only to focus on DC branch offices of NYC biglaw, which is where I started.

  14. LaurenB

    I have been steadily becoming annoyed by a friend on Facebook who is taking lots of vacations, attended a painting party and a baby shower that clearly were not masked / social distanced, and then to top it off — I suspected that she was a Trump voter (though she doesn’t talk politics on her personal page), but I happened to click through to OANN and she “likes” them. I think that’s the final straw for me. I’m disappointed because she was in journalism herself and is highly educated. We haven’t physically seen one another in years as she lives in another state, but we have a lot of friends in common so we comment on one another’s posts, etc. I kind of want to de-friend and flounce off, but I know that will do no good.

    So I’m curious where and how you are all dealing with friends who you are seeing are following OANN/Newsmax, etc. To me, that’s a whole different level versus FoxNews, not that I like Fox any better, of course. OANN/Newsmax seems straight out of conspiracy-theory land, Trump really won the election, etc. Your thoughts?

    • Anon

      Unfollow is a beautiful thing.

      And thankfully, all of my friends and family in that category have decamped to Parler and honestly my news feed has never been better – so many funny cat videos now!

    • Anonymous

      This is one of the things that bothers me about social media. Why are we so deeply knowledgeable about the lives of people we aren’t close with? If not for FB, would you ever talk to this person, or just occasionally say “how’s Susie doing? Oh she got a dog, cool! Tell her I said hi!” to a mutual friend? I’m not on social media anymore in part because there’s social pressure to follow everyone you’ve ever met and I am totally ok just not really knowing what’s going on with them. If we run into each other at the coffee shop post-Covid, we’ll have something to talk about. I’m in 3 group texts with people I saw regularly pre-Covid and will see regularly post-Covid, so I’m not antisocial or friendless.

      In your case — I would unfollow, possibly unfriend, and never think about this person again.

    • Anon

      I’m struggling with this on LinkedIn. I work in an industry that tends towards hyper-macho and right-wing behaviors, and seeing the garbage being posted on LI (especially when it belongs on FB instead) is infuriating. I can’t disconnect from everyone in my field.

      • Anon

        Not related to the election but I recently lost out on a consulting opportunity because I asked about how they had factored climate change into their weather-related model. They denied climate change was a thing. Then never contacted me again.

        It’s for the best for me personally, but I’m watching their results over the next several years for how much money they’ll lose because of their stupid politics.

  15. Anon

    Perhaps most ridiculous post ever but we’re all burning out and maybe need some fun. My neighbor (a good friend) has a big clear plastic bubble tent set up in her yard with their lawn furniture and a light and space heater in it. This is just calling out to me for a prank… How hard do we think it would be to secretly fill it with balloons? What else could I potentially do for a fun prank? I need your collective brains!

    • Anonymous

      those little water balloons but blown up with air would be hysterical, imo

    • Monday

      Get a large inflatable T-rex and seat it in one of the chairs with a surgical mask on.

      • HW

        I would be willing to contribute to the cost of the flamingos in support of this prank!

      • KS IT Chick

        There are companies that do flamingo rentals and will set them up in the yard, so you aren’t stuck with them afterwards, too.

      • Anon

        I’ve seen a rental herd of (paper/plastic) Christmas llamas, and I believe they would also be appropriate here.

    • Anon

      I love this!

      People are so uptight / strung out now a prank is just what the doctor ordered.

      Love the balloon idea. Or just a handful of things that are comically large (like those giant paper flower things).

    • Anonymous

      I love this. I am not against a good prank, but I might also look at it a bit differently and just place one or three balloons inside as a gesture of kindness. And then put a potted plant the next week. And so on.

    • LaurenB

      This is such a weird time in general that I think it’s possible a well-intended prank could backfire. I know in this era if I saw someone creeping around my property, I’d have a stronger reaction than in the Before Times, esp if I suspected it was someone who had different political leanings and wanted to “punish” me for mine.

  16. Anonymous

    what are your favorite jewelry designers in the $200-$500 range? looking for xmas gifts to suggest to my hubs :)

    • Anonymous

      Do you have preferences in jewelry type or style? Personally I’d like some simplicity — perhaps gemstones without halos or pave bands/settings. But I don’t know where to find that right now, either.

    • Anon

      Honestly, I love vintage! And it can be soo much more affordable than you’d expect! Rubylane dot com is a great source, along with etsy.

  17. Thoughts on Tini Lux?

    I was late to the discussion the other day about earrings for super sensitive ear lobes. I haven’t been able to wear earrings for the last 10 years because my ears start getting red and itchy. I’ve purchased hypoallergenic earrings and nickel-free ones but the problem persists after only 1 or 2 hours. I found a company that sells earrings for people with this issue and it’s called tini lux. Has anyone purchased anything from them before and what are your thoughts? I’m nervous about buying jewelry from a company that I’ve never heard of before and the jewelry isn’t cheap either (and I may have an allergic reaction to them anyway).

    • Anonymous

      I’ve not tried this company, but for me what has made a change is using gold. Yellow gold filled 14 karat and better. Gold filled on brass is better for my ears than gold filled or vermeilled on sterling silver.

      • Anon

        I can’t wear silver either –something about the chemical reaction that causes tarnishing upsets my skin. 14k gold+. Can’t even do gold-filled as much, because it’s 14k gold mixed with something else, so that the actual gold content is much less than 14k in the end.

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