Suit of the Week: Albert Nipon Belted Split-Neck Skirtsuit

113 Comments

1. So why do I feel that we are all being urged to dress like Joan Holloway on Mad Men?

   1. Because she is FAB-ulous! Half of the reason I watch that show is to ogle at her. Her style is impeccable.

      1. Her style is impeccable, but let’s not forget that on the show she’s also the office manager, not a partner.
         Not to disperage office managers, and, believe me, I l-o-v-e Joan’s style, I question the wisdom of trying to look like Joan Hollaway in one’s workplace.

         1. Wish the senior folk at my office would dress half as well as Joan (so what if she’s the office mgr?). Honestly I think many top level execs where I work are in grave danger of getting mistaken for the office mgr:)

            1. Second that!!!

   2. Probably b/c of the hot trends out right now, the 60s and the 80s, only the 60s is being interpreted in a way that’s appropriate for the office. But — that said — I don’t think this ensemble has a 60s vibe, and couldn’t imagine Joan in this!

      1. Agree. I really don’t see Joan wearing this. LOVE her style though! That navy blue dress she had on the last episode was so gorgeous. I adore her look.

      2. Agreed, I don’t see this as Joan type ensemble at all. I see her more in higher necklines (not that this is too low, just lower than she usually wears). Also, I tend to think of her in dresses, though I know she wears skirts a lot, too.

         1. It was the vivid color of the dress, her pale skin, and the tucked chin that did it to me.

            1. I don’t see how using a model with pale skin translates to encouraging women to dress like a character who also happens to have pale skin, but to each her own.

2. This is absolutely beautiful. Great pick!

3. Gorgeous. I always figured only real estate brokers wore red suits, but I would wear this. Only downside is that the jacket looks like it can’t be worn with different tops, so it’s one really great look only.

   1. But I think you could wear the top with black or gray pants. The skirt might be harder to get more mileage from.

      1. Black blouse or sweater maybe? Definitely a distinctive look… which sadly sometimes translates to “can only be worn once a month”

      2. I actually thought the opposite. The skirt seems like it would be easier to wear with other tops, especially in offices where it is not necessary to wear a suit every day. I think the skirt would look beautiful with black, white, or any shade of grey on top, either a blouse, cardigan, sweater, or a button front shirt. I also think the jacket could look nice with black or possibly grey pants. I really think this beautiful! Generally, I’m not a big fan of red suits, but I think that this pick is much more flattering because it is a richer and deeper shade of red (especially compared with the White House | Black Market version).

         1. One of my favorite combinations is a red (bluish red) skirt with a crisp white blouse. I also wear a black top turtleneck or sweater with it in the fall. A red skirt is suprisingly versatile.

            1. I saw a red pencil skirt at Target this past weekend. I’ve been on the lookout for pencil skirts in other colors than grey, black, navy, etc… I couldn’t pull off a red suit (or a red top… any red around my face… nuh uh lol), but I thought the skirt would be good for the fall/winter. Pair it with a neutral, never a green :).

   2. Interesting that you associate red suits with real estate brokers. I always think of them as a power suit for closing argument day (it may just be a prosecutor thing, a regional thing, or really a combination of both). Unfortunately, I have never found one that I like on me.

4. What kind of top do you wear under this style of jacket?

   1. I’d probably wear a plain black or white top, no collar or buttons, and a neckline that is just slightly below the top of the ‘v’ in the jacket’s neckline.

   2. none

5. Red and black are baaaack! And I got them both — including a beautiful silk sheath dress in black with red flowers (sounds fugly, but is so so so cute, really — kinda Asian vibe). Love it when trends boomerang back around.

6. I think it’s beautiful but something about tells me that it won’t look good on my 5’2″ body. The whole look says ‘tall’ to me.

7. This is gorgeous! Thanks for the inspiration to bust out my red AT suit this fall. I like this one better, but two red suits might be too much this early in my career :)

   1. Same here. I have a beautiful Jones NY red suit I will be busting out soon.

      This suit is so gorgeous I am purrrring just looking at it. I put it on my wish list just for fun!

8. I don’t think I could wear a red suit anytime in at least the next 20 or so years without feeling like I am playind dress up like Nancy Reagan.

   1. Me too…can’t do it, won’t do it. Don’t care how good it looks on tv or the model…some looks are just best left to Sarah Palin and Joan Holloway.

      1. Hey Fresh JD – there you are! Have been wondering how your bar trip was. Did you have a fabulous time? hope so! missed ya :)

         And I personally (tall and right coloring for red) just miiiight do this suit, notwithstanding the Palin/Nancy Reagan/Mad People (don’t watch, too old/tired/busy:)) implications. I like it and it might look good on a tall, not quite willowy blonde like me…will have to think about it.

         1. Yay Suze! I was wondering if I should give a shout-out that I’m back… in case anyone noticed. But I knew I had a friend in you :)

            Spain & Greece were awesome…2 wks flew by. I stayed 1 night with my S.O. at the W Barcelona: I wanna live and die there! In that hotel!

            1. OOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!! I loooove Barcelona and I love the W (almost anywhere). Envy! Glad you had a great time :). Are you working yet?

            2. I’m still interviewing…some past interviewers knew I was on vacation, so we will see how those opportunities work out. But as long as I keep getting interviews, my spirits are high.

            3. Well, that’s all good :), and glad to hear it is going on the right direction for you. Good luck on the continuing ‘hunt’ and I hope you totally enjoy the ‘afterglow’ of Spain & Greece – I am gonna be checking in with you more on Greece when I get around to planning the big 5-0 (aaargh, but hey, I’m almost there, can’t do much but, well, embrace it) trip for next summer. See you on the weekend thread!

            4. Eeep. That was me, Suze. Just gave myself away a little..but can’t put the cat back in the bag now :/. You will figure it out if you look back on what went on here while you were luxuriating at the W!

9. Related Question: I am long legged (5’11, size 8) an large chested (DDD, size 12) with a ‘normal’ torso – is there any way to wear a belted look like this (suit or dress, or even top I suppose) and have it not look hideous? Any suggestions? I feel like I am good at recognizing bad attire on others, but not so good with myself and tend to steer clear of this style (which is hard right now!). I am trying to post-baby/new job revamp my wardrobe with classics and love the insight here!

   1. I think that a skinny belt might be able to work for your shape. Unfortunately, I feel like a wide belt may look to va va va voom on you, based on your description of your proportions. I feel your pain. I avoid all belts because with my wide mid-section, belts just define the chunk!

   2. I have similar proportions. A wide or skinny belt could look great, the issue is getting a suit that is tailored to your waist. If it just hangs from the bust, it looks like a babydoll cut or pup tent. Not so nice. Look around for a good tailor.

10. I like the idea of a red suit…thanks for the suggestion. Also $320 at Neimans is a “good” price point. Although I find that the split neck is a weird cut, it is completely office appropriate, so I would wear this look…to a client meeting or networking event (probably not court or a deposition because of the color).

11. This is gorgeous, I love it. I hope they still have my size when it goes on sale :)

12. It sort of reminds me of Star Trek. But… In a good way? I’m very confused now.

    1. A.M. hehe you are right on. This is a Deanna Troy special! hehe I still like it though…

13. Love. Red. Suits.

    I have 4 in varying shades.

    Did I mention I love red suits?

14. Doesn’t the fit of The White House/Black Market version look absolutely ridiculous from behind? It looks like if she were to try to sit at a desk and write something that the back of the jacket would split right down the center. I can’t even imagine how horrid that would be on my non-model body.

    Why is it mens clothes never seem even half as confining? And, you know, you don’t see THEIR office wear styled with baby shoes or leather bows so much either…Hmpf.

    1. I think the jacket looks nice from behind. Very womanly.

    2. It’d look great so long as you wore it with an obi and opera-length gloves.

       1. Ha! And your polka dot tights! ;)

15. obi?

    1. I’d assume Eponine was referring to the *very odd* styling in the second small photo of the White House/Black Market dress. That’s not exactly how I’d wear it….

       And what’s with the detachable wrap around ruffle and rose? Seems like a pretty suit, underneath all of the extra removable parts.

       1. Yes, exactly. If you click through they have it styled with an obi-like sash and opera-length gloves.

          1. That was me, obv.

    2. An obi is a belt, usually wide and shaped more like a sash.

16. I LOVE red, especially classy, blue-based reds. I’d wear this in a heartbeat!

17. I like it, and think it’s a good price. I think it’d be a lot of red ON ME but I think I’d admire it on another woman.

    1. Further thoughts have come to me now that I clicked on all the links. This (NM) suit is cranberry red. I think it’s muted/dark/non-bright enough to be office appropriate. The ruby red St. John one IS Nancy Regan, or a Christmas suit. The White House/Black Market one: no, just no. Citibank Banker Barbie could turn up in that candy-apple red suit with fripperies all over it. It reads very young to me, like, “5-7-9 does suits.” Also looks very 1980s, which may be why I’m invoking 5-7-9.

       1. “Citibank Banker Barbie” cracked me up!

       2. I just googled them and am shocked to find out that 5-7-9 still exists!

18. Job-specific question: what’s the rule on wearing a suit like this to court? I would assume it’s ok? Then again, I’m in Chicago and haven’t seen anything but black or navy in the Federal courtroom… Anyone?

    1. I wear my red suit to trial quite frequently.

    2. I think there’s nothing inappropriate per se, but it’s probably too flashy/eye-catching for a jury trial. I’d wear it for an oral argument for sure. It definitely will keep attention focused on you!

19. Glorious suit … wish I could justify the cpw! Will have to pull out a red one I found at N Rack this summer instead.

    Threadjack:

    Has anyone seen and/or held this new “abacus” necklace from J. Crew?

    http://www.jcrew.com/womens_feature/NewArrivals/jewelry/PRDOVR~31506/31506.jsp

    I am wondering about the quality of the workmanship, are the resin “pearls” passable, and what is the true color of the metal work – assuming it’s metal. Finally, I have not ever bought from JCrew, so is it worth waiting for a sale or do I just pull the trigger?

    The store in Houston hasn’t gotten anything like this in stock. I just have too many curves for JCrew it seems, so I am unfamiliar and appreciate input. Been haunting me for about a month now. Remarkable restraint on my part and it’s wearing thin with all the catalogues arriving :)

    1. I like J.Crew jewelry but think it’s overpriced for the quality.

    2. I have a couple of different pieces of the new (from the past 2 years) J.Crew jewelry. I find it to be very nice and worth the price. I have a number of the gold pieces, as well as some gold and pearl. It all wears well and I forsee have it for a number of years. It’s certainly nicer than costume jewelry and I get a lot of compliments on it.

       1. It is also important to note that while a lot of the jewelry ends up on sale, two of my favorite pieces never made it to the sale page. One I ponied up full price for (and am so happy I did) and the other I had to search for on ebay.

20. I’m curious how different firms deal with people not hitting their billable hour “requirement.” My firm publishes each attorneys stats on a regular basis so I know that last year certain attorneys did not hit their goal and are still here. I also know others are no longer here, and they coincidently, did not hit their goal. Is the culture at your firm’s “if you don’t hit your goal you are automatically fired?” Or is it a “we now have a reason to fire you if we don’t like you” sort of deal. I’m now hitting my weekly goal but I had to do a lot of non-billable stuff early in the year that put me in a huge hole. I don’t think I would be able to catch up to my yearly goal this year without working ridiculous hours (like every weekend.) Just curious what the target means where you work. If it means I won’t get a bonus, I can live with that. If it means I am going to get canned, then well . . . that’s a different story. Anytime I do work weekends or “crazy hours” I’m the only one here so I can’t imagine it is really expected except to meet a deadline. Others?

    1. I think it’s very firm-specific and not necessarily even consistent within a single firm. As you’ve identified, the spectrum runs from no bonus to termination. When the market was good, at my firm, there were few consequences for being under-hours— at most a call from a practice leader or assignment partner encouraging catch-up (and no bonus, since that used to be strictly hours-based). When the market got bad, all of a sudden the quarterly hours reviews became monthly and then weekly, and you never knew when a bad month—even if there was no billable work to be had—could mean a pink slip. There is some safety in numbers, though. Even if you’re under, try to stay as close as possible to average for your level and practice group. But the pressure to bill more when you’re under is real, and it was my experience that associates were encouraged to work, and take on more work, to make up deficits. Not just when a deadline was looming. I would NOT count on being safe because you don’t see folks in the office on the weekend. Work is being done at night, at home, etc., too.

       1. Thanks. I am trying to keep my weekly hours over 100% going forward to show that I am trying to catch up. I am also trying to keep my weekly hours at least at the other people at my level.

       2. Agreed, it depends on too many factors. The bottom line is, if a firm wants to get rid of you, they can and will, regardless of your hours. If you aren’t making your hours, you have more reason to worry. It’s considered your fault, as the associate, even when work is down all over, and even though technically you shouldn’t be responsible for bringing in work. But there’s usually no stated rule about employment that’s tied to not making your hours, just compensation consequences (freezes/no bonuses/cuts). My best advice is to get some strong partner supporters who will try to protect you. Even then, decisions aren’t always made by the people you work for, but people in another office who are just looking at numbers.

          1. This is such a good point: if you make yourself valuable to the partners you work for (for example by consistently doing good work, anticipating needs, making their lives easier), then you are in much better shape when cut-backs come around, even if you are below 100%.

21. I adore this suit! Wish I could justify the cash for it – but I already have two other red suits. (one is a Jones NY in a color very similar to this one) I would not wear a red suit to court, but I would pretty much any where else. And I never knew the rule about no red suits on young women. I’ve worn them since I was in my 20s because red is my favorite color. Oh well…one advantage of age is that now at least I am old enough to wear them!

22. Non-suit related question … what do you ladies think of wearing lots of pearls to the office? I have a 100″ freshwater pearl necklace (the pearls themselves are about 7-8mm wide), those that are meant to be worn in many different ways with a clasp or a ribbon. The necklace was not too expensive (from JCPenney when they had it on the outlet years ago, now I think they’re charging $200 for it) and the pearls to my admittedly untrained eye look pretty and shiny (though of course, have lots of imperfections upon closer inspection!).

    My problem is about styling and whether I can use this necklace for the office at all. My usual go-to way to wear this necklace is in a toursade pattern that looks almost like a choker on my neck. I have usually reserved this for an “evening” look, because it feels like too many pearls too close to my face. The exception has been if I am wearing a very tall jacket/shirt which hides some of the effect on the neck.

    I have also worn it as a 6 strings of pearls of differing length reaching max 2″ below the collarbone (for this look, the necklace is fastened with a black ribbon in the neck area). This look sounds busier than it is, and I have considered it to be office appropriate.

    As for other looks, since I am large chested I don’t think I could wear much longer lengths with most clothing so those are pretty much the only looks I have for what is supposed to be a very versatile necklace …. I feel like I’m not using it to its full potential but I’m really at a loss for what else to try to do with it.

    I have a couple of questions for corporettes out there … do you consider either of these “looks” biglaw office appropriate? are there any other “looks” I should be trying with this type of necklace? Is this just too many pearls to be daytime office-wear? I’m considering taking the necklace apart and restringing it into a few different necklaces. I just did this with my very first set of pearls (17″) and while it took a few hours, it was quite satisfying in the end and I think totally worth it as a side project over a few days/weeks maybe.

    1. I’m not sure about the 100″ string, but I think it’s probably work appropriate as long as you don’t pair it with an evening gown and satin wrap! I have a fake pearl necklace that sounds like it has somewhat the same effect as your super-long string; mine has 6 strands – 4 white and 2 in varying colors. I wear it either as individual strands that hang at varying lengths, or I twist the strands together to form one big chunky strand that stays pretty close to my collarbone. I’ve seen other women wear similar things to work, and never questioned whether it’s inappropriate.

       1. That sounds very similar to what I can do with my necklace Emily! Thanks for the encouragement. I don’t know why I’m thinking about it so much: I wear super chunky “statement” and/or multiple strand necklaces all the time, but made of turquoise or jade or some other material, don’t know what makes me think pearls are “different.”

    2. I think a longer length is fine on large-chested women so long as you aren’t showing cleavage. I like an opera-length necklace worn with a jacket. And I’m a DDD.

       1. Eponine – how do you handle the strands going to one or the other side of the breasts? It seems reasonable with say, a ballet neck sheath dress, but when I put it on I find that the necklace tends to move to odd places as I walk.

          1. Oh, I see what you mean. I usually knot my necklaces (carefully) so they hang straight down. They might bounce a bit but they won’t stick at one side. I have had this problem before with unknotted necklaces, though, where they kind of encircle one breast – not a great look, you’re right.

23. That shade of red is “hard to wear”. I prefer a true red for a suit, a coat, or a jacket. Something bright and not either tomato-y or on the purple side. I don’t like a contrasting color belt on a suit jacket, because it cuts you in half and breaks up the line of the jacket.

    1. I’m with you on the tomato-red color, I don’t like it either. In general, it is sometimes difficult to find that *perfect* red.

24. I love this shade, and would find it much easier to wear than fire-engine red. I feel like a little kid playing dress-up if I wear true red, but brick and cranberry work well. I think red can look like a costume, but this is pretty and professional. I would, however, look like an actual cranberry in this suit right now, so it isn’t for me. I try to avoid colored suits because in my office, it is noticed when you wear something, and I feel like I’d have to go a long time between wearings, or everyone says “that suit again?”.

    1. Ohh, and now that I look at the second image, I think I’d be pulling at that jacket all day to try to cover my chest. Might be too fussy for me that way. I like jackets that don’t move around so much.

25. DESPARATE CRISIS THREADJACK:

    What should I DO WITH MY LIFE? My firm is apparently having some tough times–I’m a newish lawyer with 6 figures of student loans (all from law school). I enjoy my firm and the people I work with but I LOATHE that my job basically revolves around 1) people who are (for lack of better words) super-pissed and pretty much “lose” whether they “win” or “lose” at trial–having to pay my fees, ruined relationships, etc; or 2) defending insurance companies and/or employers from what basically amounts to legalized shakedowns. I’m pretty sure that I will not be a happy, well-adjusted person if I remain in this position for the next 20 years. (Although this might not even be an option, due to said firm’s tough times.) Unfortunately, lit is probably the area most interesting to me and the one most suited to my skills–I actually enjoy lit MORE than corporate/real estate/ t &e projects. ..and there is literally zero chance of changing practice areas at my firm at this time.

    I’m such a risk-adverse coward, and know that I would never actually leave my job as long as it stays, because I’m terrified that I won’t find anything else that would allow me to service this debt and live a normal lifestyle. (After all, the ticket to hell is always free–and who can pass that up?!) Most importantly, I don’t want my ambivalent 22-year old “Oh, I’ll guess I’ll go to law school…” decision/mistake to burden my fiance/future family if I voluntarily leave and then can’t find something comparable. (I guess I’m lucky that what I consider to be my “worst life mistake” to date is pursuing a law degree–I feel ridiculous even saying it out loud, but I would have MUCH preferred that my silly self had instead decided on a brief foray into real estate at the height of the bubble. The financial reprucussions would have been, comparatively, far less severe and “fixable.” In my defense though, my professors, mentors, and parents unanimously agreed that law school was a solid decision and wholeheartedly encouraged it.)

    Despite my severe anxiety over the prospect of not being able to pull my weight financially in my marriage, and the fact that I (frankly) have no real proven “work expereince” skills in a non-legal field, and recently moved to an area far from home with literally no network, I have this gnawing , terrifying, glimmer of hope that maybe the law firm gods will save me from myself and force my hand to find something else. I’m kind of shocked at myself. I literally have no idea what that “something else” is, but I’ve been finding myself EXTREMELY jealous of people in more creative fields whose work makes people happy!

    Please tell me that I’m not alone? Do any other former teachers’ pets/straight arrows find themselves secretly wishing for an “out”? Did you get the “out?” How did you find a new job? Did it work out for you? Do you regret it?

    1. Hi roar, cutting to the chase – get out NOW. Check my posts (and all the comments from my wonderful corporette friends/family) over the most recent weekend thread. While you are on that thread, you will see a few other discussions that will inform your present circumstances. Borrowing from George Clooney (swoooooooooon), good night and good luck – get out while you can :)!

    2. My advice is as follows:

       1. Get a therapist and see her weekly.
       2. Stay in your job until you’ve paid down your debt to a comfortable level. Rely on the therapist to help you cope emotionally so you don’t spend money needlessly to make yourself feel better, and instead save your money to pay down the debt.
       3. Start looking for a public interest job in civil litigation, if that’s your preferred field. There are plenty of options – city attorney’s office, legal aid, etc.

       Depending on where you went to law school, you may be able to skip step 2 and add a step 4: enroll in loan forgiveness program. If most of your loans are federal loans, you could look into the income-based repayment program.

       I have 200K debt and a public interest job that pays in the 60s. With income-based repayment and forgiveness of my federal loans after 10 years of payments, I’m doing fine. I graduated 5 years ago and have never worked in a firm.

       1. I just want to add: you need to have a plan. Having a plan will cut down on a lot of the stress and frustration you currently feel. If you can plan to put aside an extra $1K per month and apply that all to the principal of your loans at the end of the year, and quit your job when you’ve paid down a certain amount of your loans, you can tick off each month’s savings and count one more month down until your last day at your firm. That’ll give you a sense of accomplishment and help you keep going. If you just know you’ll leave your firm “someday” or “whenever you’ve paid off your loans” you’ll just get depressed because it’ll feel like a pipe dream, not a reality.

          1. Also, and this is hard to believe when you’re a recent grad, but your first job is not going to set the course for the rest of your life. Five short years ago I had a dream job and I was distraught when I lost it because I thought I’d never be happy and I was a failure. I was wrong. You’re sort of in the opposite situation, but you will be happy and your life and career will work out fine. There will be other jobs and the debt will be gone before your hair is gray, I promise.

             OK, I’m done with advice now, but here’s a cyber-hug for you.

    3. I don’t have advice for you but I just wanted to know that someone read your post. Hopefully someone with more experience will come along.

       1. Wanted you to know. And, it looks like other people chimed in too. Yay.

          1. :) Thanks.

    4. I was in the middle of saying something similar to Anon 10:51 when my connection got wacky. Anyways. You have a job now. You have the luxury *right now* of thinking about, and researching what else you might want to do. You have time to build your network to do that Something Else.

       Therapy is not a bad idea, you do sound overwhelmed. I don’t mean that in a bad or insulting way, just that it can be hard to think clearly when your mind is spinning. A career coach is another thought — someone to help you think through options.

       And definitely start preparing for the salary cut right now. One option is to figure out how much you might make if you were to change to Something Else and try living on that amount right now, banking the rest of your check and/or throwing it at your debt. You see how feasible it is and you reduce debt/increase savings at the same time.

       Finally, one of my personal goals in life is to make my own decisions. If your gut is hoping for the Law Firm Gods to force your hand, then it’s sending you a pretty clear signal. A therapist may help you work through why you’re hesitant to listen to your gut and explore what it sounds like you really want to do.

    5. I have been where you are and in some ways find myself there again, although no longer a newish lawyer. At first I loved my big law job/life and loved doing litigation, then slowly realized my entire life outside of work had slowly eroded to nothing–no hobbies, only friends were the ones who called me, no public service, no time, trouble having a baby (due to stress). I too was terrified to make a jump–the money, the prestige, the expectations, the time. I did however out of sheer desperation apply for an in-house job I saw posted on line–just getting over my inertia to update my resume was overwhelming and terrifying in a way I can’t explain. But I got the job! I like it a lot but it pays 1/2 what I was making in a firm. I find myself at the same crossroads again in some ways because now my family’s needs makes it tough to keep up with the increasing demands of in-house–which is becoming more like big law (i.e., wringing every last ounce of work, energy and enthusiasm out of its rank and file members). Not sure what I’m going to do either. I don’t regret it. I know you don’t have a lot of spare time but look around, network, apply for any jobs you see and in the meantime — pay off your loans as FAST as you can. Don’t shop, don’t take vacations (take staycations!), don’t live in a fancy place–do what you have to do to maintain your status/image at work–and don’t spend a penny more. Make a plan to pay off your loans in X (3?) years. I too wonder if I hadn’t gotten on this success/status track and had just gone off to teach foreign languages or something, where would I be today? Telling that so many of these crisis threadjacks come from lawyers. :(

       1. If you had left to teach in another country, you’d probably be unemployed and feel like you have no marketable skills outside of teaching. Life skills aplenty, but not job skills. Or maybe that’s just me. sigh.

    6. I really, really, really hated my biglaw litigation/insurance defense job for all of the obvious reasons. I left after 3 1/2 years and moved to a small litigation boutique. I took a pay cut at first, but moved up the pay scale over time and didn’t really feel the smaller paycheck too much to be honest, but I’m naturally pretty thrifty. I’m still there many years later, my six-figure loans are paid off, I feel like I have plenty of money, and I love my work and the people I work with.

       Biglaw is certainly not for everyone. There are many options out there for people with law degrees, and you will be able to find something that suits you and makes you happy. Law degree =/= Biglaw or bust. Just start looking now while you still have a job. I’m super risk-averse too – I found my new job before leaving my old one.

       This will work out. You have lots of valuable education and skills, and you will find your niche. Good luck!

    7. I think sometimes lawyers can lose perspective as to what constitutes a “normal” lifestyle. The median income in the US is somewhere between $50-60,000, and most of the families I know living with that sort of income are not scraping by eating ramen every month. Even if you go down to a public interest job, my guess is that you and your fiance will still be bringing home more than that after you pay back your loans.

       My suggestion is to try to live that lifestyle now while you still have the job and put half of the money you spend into savings and the other into paying off your loans. You may not be able to save a lot if you switch to a public interest/government position, so it will be good to get something going now that will help in case of emergency. My guess is that your fiance isn’t with you because you make a certain salary. Both of you will adapt to a smaller salary when the time comes.

       1. When you have a 2nd mortgage payment every month going toward your student loans – and that’s on the 30-year repayment plan – sometimes the salaries that work for low-debt households aren’t going to work for you. Most law students aren’t inherently out of touch or big spenders, they’re looking for more money because they’re saddled with crippling amounts of debt and a sophie’s choice between paying off in misery or living with it in a severely-limited financial lifestyle.

          1. That’s the median income for families that typically have kids in them. The idea that suddenly because you’re an attorney you can’t live on $40K a year after you pay off your loans (likely at the beginning of your career) puts you at the same place as a new teacher or other careers you’d start right out of school.

             1. operative word=AFTER you pay off your loans…

    8. Get yourself to a career counselor. A friend of mine went this route – she took a battery of tests that were designed to figure out what she was good at and what she would like to do, and the counselor gave her suggestions that she swears she would never have considered otherwise. The counselor can also help you design a plan to get yourself from point A (miserable law firm job) to point B (Something Else). I agree with everyone else who said that just having a plan will make everything easier to bear.

       Also second the therapist idea – it sounds like you feel like you will be a failure or a Bad Person if you quit your job, and it also sounds like you have a lot of guilt about potentially disappointing your fiance/parents/teachers/etc. But it’s your life, it’s the only one you’ve got, and you have to be comfortable living it in a way that doesn’t make you miserable. If roles were reversed and your fiance felt the way you do about his job, I think you would be kinder and less judgmental with him than you are being with yourself. :-)

    9. Hi roar,

       You’re not alone! I don’t have much to add, but my heart really goes out to you. I think that I can relate to what you are going through — at least what I’m gathering from a brief post! And I just wanted to second the recommendations for therapy and maybe also a career coach. I hope that suggestion is not offensive to you (it was to me when someone first suggested it to me!), especially b/c I know it’s just a short post & a brief glimpse of what’s going on with you. But that is what worked for me. It really cleared up my thinking process and helped me realize what I wanted. I think it’s worth getting some outside guidance just to make sure that any decisions you’re making are from a good, solid place (and moving towards something else, not just escaping). I have ended up pretty much back where I started — as far as outside appearances go (even the same practice area!). But I feel so differently about it, I feel like I am living a different life. Sending you lots of good wishes!

26. oh, threadjack and sob, somehow lost one of my EVERYDAY (and I mean everyday for the last twenty years) diamond ear studs today…afraid it’s gone forever. Not worth a proper funeral, I know, but I wear no other earrings ever – and these are ~ .5 carat each. uch. Gone, baby, gone. Please tell me that this is a window of opportunity (you know, I can branch out to droppy things, pearls, what have you), just console me that my every day go tos (which my frugal self will NOT replace – they were an extravagant pre-wedding gift from ex-husband) don’t matter that much. It is NOT emotional, just sartorial/elegance in simplicity (and no thought required when getting dressed every day for work, soccer game, church, what have you).

    Please commiz/tell me I have an earring life in the future! Thanks in advance – Suze a/k/a pigpen (you know, the one where everything is going just a little bit wrong under that black cloud) :/

    1. OH WOW … so sorry for you. That does suck.

       Could you try going to a jewelry store and seeing if you could replace the lost earring/match the one you have left? It’s $$$ … but less than buying a whole new pair.

    2. You have my sympathies. I received beautiful diamond stud earrings from my middle class parents for my 16th birthday. I know it was a huge sacrifice for them to get them for me. I have no idea what size they were and I will never ask. I wore them every day for at least a year. Then, one night, I took them out and put them on my bed side table, or so I swear. I never saw them again. I don’t know if I dreamed of putting them on the bedside table. We looked in the radiator, in the vaccum bag, in the dog’s poop (just in case) EVERYWHERE. And they just never turned up. I’ve only worn CZ studs since b/c I’m afraid of losing them again.

       1. I own a beautiful jade necklace that was my great-grandmother’s. I thought I’d lost it once (finally found it). I have not worn it even once since then. It lives in a pretty box so it will survive to be passed on to her great-great-granddaughter.

          Suze, I feel your pain. :( I’d never buy myself jewelry either and I’d be distraught if I lost one of the nice things that was given to me.

    3. My father bought me a 24k gold bracelet when I was born. He was so thrilled having me (I am my parents’ first child) and he bought it from a middle eastern street fair back in the 80’s, way before the South Asian retail gold market developed in Jackson Heights. It was gorgeous. There are pictures of me as a 1 month old with the bracelet draped across my forehead, as a chunky 6 month old with it wrapped carefully around my arm. I’ve always known that I had one piece of “real” jewelry growing up and felt really special whenever I wore it.

       Eventually, my parents entrusted it to my care and when I was ~17, I got into the habit of wearing it every day, never taking it off, not even while showering. One day, when I got home from school, I realized it had somehow dropped off my wrist in the bowels of the subway somewhere. I cried. I’m still torn up over this (and my dad doesn’t know).

       Suze, I feel you on this and thanks for reminding me. I’m finally in a financial position where I can fulfill my intention of finding someone to make this bracelet again for me, with a proper clasp instead of a hook.

    4. You poor thing! Maybe you could check out Blue Nile and purchase an individual diamond that matches the earring one you still have and then have a jeweler set it in a matching setting. I took a quick peek at their website and they listed individual diamonds in the 0.5 ct range for $600-700. I’ve never bought from Blue Nile but have heard good things about it.

       Good luck and let us know how it works out!

    5. Oh Suze! My first thought is retrace your steps through the day. Check around your bed (if you wear them at night). Check your car, the chair in your office, etc.

       I feel your pain. I took my engagement/wedding bands off last week when I was doing some painting. I went to get them when I finished and they weren’t there. Can you say “heart attack”? Turns out that my little girl found them and was playing with them.

    6. My aunt died, very young and in a very tragic manner, when I was six. When I was a little older, I was given some of her jewelry. When I was in high school, one day I wore some gold earrings that had been hers (they looked sort of like this, but I think smaller: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=160448394481&rvr_id=130238008069&crlp=1_263602_263622&UA=WXI7&GUID=af3ca06a12a0a0aad0c6efb6ffd67465&itemid=160448394481&ff4=263602_263622)
       to school. After driver’s ed, I realized I was wearing only one. My teacher/coach helped me search the car, up and down and the whole driving range. That earring was nowhere. I loved those earrings, they actually made me look prettier (crazy as that sounds) and of course, even if I replaced the lost one now it wouldn’t be my aunt’s. I have never worn any of her other jewelry, I just keep it in a drawer. I feel you.

27. Suze,

    I almost lost one of mine and feel your pain. Have you contacted your home insurance? The loss may be covered. Good luck!

    1. Thanks everyone for all the support, your stories and suggestions. My homeowner’s insurance won’t cover, and I intentionally have NOT bought a jewelry rider b/c the premium would just about pay to replace whatever I have (not much). I may look at the Blue Nile possibility to get a new stone and have it set like the one I have (really, what is one to do with one .5 ct diamond stud – it needs a mate:)). And I will say that these earrings have basically had nine lives – DH accidentally threw them down the drain in a hotel in Spain (the story of getting them out is tooo funny), I once left them in a hotel room at a firm retreat and 3 hrs after check out, called mgr, who actually went and got them and fedexed them to me (shout out for the Ritz Carlton in Palm Beach), and I’ve done a few other dopey things but recovered them. This time, I am pretty sure it is gone – it almost had to be somewhere in my office or right outside my office cuz that’s where I was all day before I realized it was gone, and I searched high and low all over (so did my wonderful assistant), but…..

       Anyway, thanks again everyone. I heart you all!

       1. Wait, these were a gift from your ex but you currently have a “dear” husband? I think he needs to buy you a gift… :)

          1. Yes, they were a gift from my ex (which in a way has made me feel a *little* conflicted about wearing them everyday, especially after DH and I got married), so in a way, maybe losing the thing was ‘meant to be.’ DH would buy me a gift (and does LOTS of gifty things, like he just bought me 4 brand spanking new hot to go steel belted radials for my SUV – gotta love the guy that takes care of his wife’s ride), but I am not very ‘blingy’ (at all). I think I may go the CZ route and just stash the other stud for a while – maybe one of my kids will need a modest diamond sometime down the road for an engagement ring or graduation pendant.

       2. You have my sympathy! A similar thing happened to me years ago and, like one of the posters above, I replaced them with a pair of simulated diamonds. For me the key was to find nice, reasonably-sized ones. My go-to studs have fake stones (.5 ct each) but “real” settings (white gold with screw backs). They’ve withstood several years of near-constant wear – I leave them in for weeks/months at a time. Best part is if I lose them tomorrow it won’t bother me one bit!

          1. Y’know, that is what I think I am gonna do. Do you mind sharing where you got yours – what you describe sounds perfect for me? Thanks in advance!

             1. I got them at a store in NYC… but I think they might be Diamond Essence (which you can get through diamond-essence dot com). If they don’t sell screw backs online, you can get a local jeweler to replace the push backs with screw backs for pretty cheap – maybe $30ish.

28. I love this red suit!! It would look great with someone who has dark black hair.

    Also, loved Joan’s blue dress in this week’s episode of Mad Men. I think this season is the best one yet.

29. I just wanted to say that I love the quality of Albert Nipon suits. I bought one recently (it might have been featured here on Corporette actually), and it’s black and more versatile, but I assume the quality of this one is just as good. I wish this designer made more suits, especially onces in more every day colors (black, navy, grays, etc.). Considering they are roughly the same price as many full-priced items at Macy’s (that, in my opinion, are of much worse quality), they seem more than worth the cost. I can’t say enough good things about my most recent Albert Nipon purchase. I feel like a million dollars in the suit and I like it even more than a sort of similar looking Burberry dress that cost 2.5 times as much. So, like I said, I am sure this suit would have exactly the same effect, especially on the right person.

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