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Sales of note for 8.30.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Bergdorf Goodman – Final Days Designer Sale, up to 75% off; extra 20% off sale
- Boden – 20% off
- Brooks Brothers – Extra 25% off clearance
- Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
- Lo & Sons – Summer sale, up to 50% off (ends 9/2)
- Madewell – Extra 40% off sale; extra 50% off select denim; 25% off fall essentials
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Rothy's – End of season sale, up to 50% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear in the big sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
- White House Black Market – Up to 70% off sale
Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…
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And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Nousha
What a beautiful color, love it., so spring … If you like to mix and match your skirt and jacket, I mixed a coral color jacket with black and white skirt here in my blog. http://closetmixer.com/portfolio/floral-banded-pencil-skirt/
I’m a big fan of mixed outfit!
Divaliscious11
Maybe she doesn’t come back and read the comments on her posts?????
Anonymous
Or she doesn’t give two hoots what aggressive, bossy people tell her to do. She’s starting to get sympathy from me.
Parfait
Sympathy for spammers. Now I’ve seen everything.
Lola
I’m surprising myself here but I’m gonna give this a go. Recently, I’ve had some suit-required events (almost never happens for me), and I’ve HATED wearing my interview suits (the only ones I have). This looks like it would fit the bill, wouldn’t kill me on cost, can be used as separates, and be a whole lot more comfy.
KC
I love the colors! Very tempted to add to my bright blazer collection…
Cb
It is pretty, isn’t it?
hoola hoopa
I’m very seriously considering this as well. I like that it’s ponte but doesn’t scream I’M A KNIT BLAZER. Online, at least. Love the tan/ivory, which seems hard to find these days.
Looks like it may stick out funny from the button, though. Hummm…
TO Lawyer
So in light of the recent discussions we’ve had about “leaning in”, does anyone have thoughts about this article:
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/commentary/alternative-advice-to-high-flying-women-lean-back/article10199024/
Elle
This is probably a cranky response but I’m so sick of the negative responses to the lean in book. I’m a 28 year old unmarried woman. Apparently, I’m not allowed to intentionally look for a husband – that’s bad! – but I’m also not supposed to want to do well at work either. Any attempt to give me advice is “talking down to single mothers in manual labor”. Even though most of these publications could not give a d a m n about single mothers at any other time. I wish most of the women bitterly imploring me to “lean back” “lean out” and “drop out” would take their own advice (and shut up while they’re about it.)
I’ve read this over and over so many times before. Female journalists (primarily) explaining why women who drop out of corporate workplaces do so because the workplace is “bad”. Well, maybe that’s true. But women who WANT to be successful still have to contend with the conditions in the workplace and the societal constructs that Sheryl Sandberg talks about. It kind of annoys me because most of these journalists have never actually worked in the law, banking, technology or any other field. They just write about other people’s lives. Because writing twenty repetitive articles about whether or not it was feminist to take your husband’s name when you married makes you an expert in… well, anything. Most of this stuff was coined and explicated in the 1970’s. The Second Shift, anyone? Yet most female “feminist” commentators make a living rehashing these concepts in a very watered down way while pretending towards originality and soaking up praise from casual (ill-informed) observers on their blogs. Why have we handed feminism over to women who don’t *do* anything but talk about it? Why have we let “discourse” replace results? And feminist purity become the most important quality of a feminist?
Nellie
I feel like you just completely summed up everyone who writes for XX Factor and The Atlantic blogs. (And many more.)
“Yet most female “feminist” commentators make a living rehashing these concepts in a very watered down way while pretending towards originality and soaking up praise from casual (ill-informed) observers on their blogs.”
moss
PREACH.
Monica
Only women want to have balanced lives? Why would you want to have kids with a man who didn’t want to help you raise them?
Monica
I didn’t mean to be snarky at you. My snark was aimed at the article.
Ellen
I agree, Kat! Great suit and a great price! My dad and the manageing partner will be very happy to see I am saveing alot of money. I have HAD it with all of this LEANING IN STUFF. If I had a GAZILLION DOLLARS, I would lean in, but I do NOT. FOOEY!
The Manageing partner has called 5x so far today and says he is comeing up here tomorrow to go over some thing’s. I still think he misses me and he want’s to meet Rosa and the Baby, and talk about my partnership contributeion with Dad. I said thats OK b/c Rosa says OK and he says he will be bringeing up some cupcakes for all of us! YAY! They do NOT have Crumbs up here–I went to the StarBucks where Bill Clinton goes, but he was not there. FOOEY! I did get a nice MUFFIN tho! Yay!
Grandma Leyeh went walking with me. She did NOT understand how the FITBIT worked, so I showed her. She said Dad is bieng to much of a hawk about my tuchus excercise, but she warned that I can NOT snag a decent guy with a “super big tuchus.” She said I am not there yet, but I will be if I keep eateing everything. I asked about Mom and her big tuchus, but she said that when Dad married her in the 1970s, she did NOT have a big tuchus, and she was slim when they were at school together. Wow….
Rosa is up and about and tending to the baby. She is such a trooper! She is already brest feeding Tina, and will NOT use any baby forumula. She did this with Dawn also. Dawn is cute tryeing to be like mom, with her own baby doll’s. Grandma Leyeh is focussing on Dawn so that she does NOT feel left out with all the fuss over Tina.
Grandma says Tina is already GASSY. How is that posible already? Mom said I was a very gassy child, but I do NOT remember any of that. Ed is still workeing things out with Dad for the 529, and he has agreed that Tina will have the same 529 as Dawn. I did NOT know about Dawn even haveing a 529. I sure hope Dad gives MY baby a 529. Ed says he knows a guy at work I should meet. If Ed say’s he is OK, then I am there. I need to get MARRIED soon b/c I want a baby and win Grandma Leyeh’s challenge so I told Ed that he can call me when I get back to the City, but I sure hope he is not another jerk that just want’s sex. Fooey! I had enough of that.
Lyssa
You know, if I were a man watching this whole thing, particularly an older man, I would be shaking my head and thinking “women are absolutely nuts. They want this, they don’t want that. They’re mad if you don’t give them work and mad if you expect them to be there and do it. It’s crazy, and I want no part of it.”
Of course, I understand that there are a lot of different women, which is why they’re saying different things. But the problem is that they’re all acting as if (and being treated as if) they speak for WOMEN, because for some reason, we as a culture have decided that anyone who’s not a white male has no independant identity. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a stay at home parent, in fact, I think it’s the best thing for kids. But I don’t think that it’s for me, so my husband and I have arranged our lives so that it’s not that way.
But every time I read this sort of article, I wonder if my employers are just waiting for me to suddenly decide to embrace the domestic, and if I risk losing opportunities because of it. Because I wouldn’t blame them one bit for thinking that, based on these discussions.
Diana Barry
I think Caitlin Moran talks about this problem in “How to be a Woman” – so if you’re a female writer you’re automatically SPEAKING FOR ALL WOMEN even though that is impossible. I think it’s part of the problem of the “other” – so if you are “other” from what is deemed the norm, so in this country it would be white males – then every voice of that “other” needs to represent ALL of the voices in the group, or it’s not correct.
I’m probably not describing it very well; I think someone else made this point last week.
Cornellian
I brought this up last week in a related discussion. So true.
Sydney Bristow
As I started reading the article, my immediate reaction was that everyone should make the best choice for themselves and their families. I think part of Sandberg’s point was that it isn’t always a “choice” in the truest sense of the word for whether the man or woman leans back after having children. In many cases it is easier to do so because the man may be the breadwinner, have more opportunity to advance at work, etc. The choice as to who leans back may become more of a choice when there are more women in these top positions and workplaces become more equal and society’s views on stay-at-home-dads changes, but part of what will get us to that point is if more women lean in.
So I think that both the article’s author and Sandberg are right in that everyone should make their own choice. But I also agree with Sandberg that if a woman has an inclination to want to make the choice to lean in, then following theough on that can be helpful to other women (and society) as a whole.
I just finished Lean In this morning. I loved the last part of the book where she was talking about not judging the choices that others make. I think that is a very important key to moving forward.
TBK
My thoughts are that if people want to debate “leaning in” vs “leaning some other way” they should first understand how Sandberg defined leaning in. It was NOT about what happens AFTER children. She’s talking about women in the 22-32 age range who have not yet had children, who might not even have a partner yet, and who nonetheless are already pulling back in their careers for hypothetical children (who may or may not ever show up). By doing this, they’re giving up several years, even a decade or more, of time when they could make serious strides in their careers. When they do finally lean back (because children arrive, or other reasons) they’ll be further along and so will sort of coast at a higher level, giving themselves a better on-ramp if they decide to step on the gas again after the kids are older. I wish people who criticized authors, especially publicly, paid the authors the respect of reading what they’re critiquing before blasting it all over the internet.
January
+1. I have had similar feelings towards the “Lean In” concept as the author of the Globe and Mail piece (i.e., it’s a *crazy* rat race out there, why would anyone want to join it?), but to my surprise, I really liked Lean In and found it motivating. I’m in my late twenties and single, so I feel like I’m in Sandberg’s target demographic. I noticed in the book that Sandberg doesn’t rule out the possibility of scaling back later on; she just makes a good argument for investing in your career early on so you’ll have more — and better! — options should you decide to make that choice in the future.
Anon
Another interesting perspective…that I think is more of a critique than a “do this instead”:
http://www.dissentmagazine.org/online_articles/feminisms-tipping-point-who-wins-from-leaning-in
IA_Eng
Very interesting take. Thanks for sharing.
hellskitchen
Thank you for sharing this. A really unique perspective from a FB insider and the question she raises are right on, especially about how exactly has SS’s leadership of FB made it better for other women working there.
LH
Thanks for sharing. I find this article very interesting as well. I haven’t read Lean In but this article articulates some of the problems I have with it & Sheryl Sandberg based on what I know about her & the book.
Lady Litigator
Hate to say it, but this appeals to me because it looks comfortable rather than stylish. However, I am not sure that the colors would work. Question for Corporettes – have any of you “had your colors done” and how has that worked for you?
DAR
i had my colors done *years* ago and it helps, especially to build a wardrobe of things that can be mixed and matched somewhat. i work in a corporate environmnet but rarely have to wear a matched or “interview” suit. I look good in and wear blues, purples, teal, blue-toned reds, warm greys, magenta. I do wear black even though it’s not my color – i wear it with good color next to my face like a blouse or scarf. my no-no colors are most yellows, golds, lime green, orange and i never wear brown even though they said that it was one of my colors.
Anonymous
This site has been acting really funny. Comments keep disappearing or not showing up. It seems to be getting worse.
NOLA
I would guess that it’s not a problem that comments are disappearing – more that they don’t show unless you clear history and refresh. It’s so frustrating! That and the fact that it doesn’t keep my name anymore.
Stuck
O.k. I just responded to you about how my comment definitely disappeared and then that comment disappeared. Weird!!!!
hoola hoopa
I had a comment completely disappear yesterday. I typed a response, got a ‘too fast’ error, and returned to the page to find it missing. Many refreshes and even returning later in the day didn’t bring it back. It was a comment and a handful of replies. It was far from controversial (in fact, it was praising one of Kat’s picks), so it wouldn’t have been pulled by Kat as moderation. So weird.
Nousha
My name is Nousha, I’m a graphic designer, living in Southern California, I’m not a spammer!
I have a blog which is my hobby called ClosetMixer. It’s about mixing and matching outfits and related topics. The links are for the sets I created, that’s it!
mascot
Hi. Welcome. It’s cool that you link your blog to your user name so people can click over to it if they want. Now that people have seen you around, they know who you are and what your side gigs are, so they don’t need every new post linked as well. It’s a finicky place like that….
Nousha
Thanks, That’s very nice of you :)
Anonymous
Yup. Keep your blog in your user name, don’t keep asking people to check out your blog it sounds like spam.
Ellen
What kind of name is nousha?
Silvercurls
Ellen (or whoever) is posing as Ellen,
Even if you’re simply curious, your question can make the recipient uncomfortable because it implies that his/her name is Other / Exotic / Different / Not Normal / Weird. Better to quietly ask a friend offline, or search the web. If you must ask directly, phrase it as a compliment and be convincing: “Your name is beautiful! Are you named for someone special?” There’s no point in making someone feel awkward for something over which they have no control.
Elle
So I asked this question and you answered (thanks.) I checked out your website and it looks good but I can’t with your first sentence. I do agree with mascot though. You have your blog in your name so you don’t need to continue to write peppy marketing messages in blog post form.
Example: “OMG!!! This is so pretty!!!!! I would wear it with a blue jumper and crocodile shoes and gold sunnies!!! Women and shopping, amirite!!!! Wheee! See my blog for more details! OMG!
Nousha
Thank you for the comment, that’s very nice of you. I’ll do that for sure. :)
Bonnie
Seriously, you sound like a spammer. The constant self-promotion makes me discount anything you may say on your website.
Migraine Sufferer
FWIW, I love your blog and check out your outfits all the time. :) Thanks for sharing.
Monica
When ordering this suit would you size down from a nicer (like JCrew) suit?
mascot
I have a very similar ponte blazer (pretty sure it is grace) and didn’t find the sizing to be that off from what I wear at AT in a similar cut.
AIMS
I’m not sure how much you want to size down given that this type of fabric will likely be a lot less suit-like and a lot more curve-hugging. I recently bought a black skirt very similar to this one (in Nordstrom Rack but maybe the same brand?), and I got the same size I would wear in JCrew. Word of caution: it started to pill after 2-3 wears and shows lint like crazy. It was only $25, but I feel like it really wasn’t a bargain given that it already looks so bad.
Dolly
http://dealbook.nytimes.com/2013/04/02/a-suite-of-their-own/
Did anyone see this article? Powerful women on wall street are regretting that they haven’t done more with their power to make their industry more hospitable to women leaders.
Divaliscious11
You got that from that blurb…or was their a longer article elsewhere?
Sydney Bristow
Ok, I thought I was going crazy because I couldn’t figure out if I was missing a longer article. I didn’t see anything about these women regretting not helping other women.
Elle
There are a number of articles.
This is the one about regret: http://dealbook.nytimes.com/2013/04/02/women-in-a-mans-world/
Sydney Bristow
Thanks for the link. Some of the comments on that article horrified me. I’m so glad that we’ve been able to discuss this (and many other “controversial” topics) with a level of respect. Even though some topics result in major disagreements and attacks here, I’m grateful that for the most part people here are respectful and we all get and share some very helpful advice.
The article itself is interesting. I’m not sure how far we can take the idea that women should be required to help other women, because in my head its somewhat tied to the idea that 1 woman at the top speaks for ALL women. My personal view of the appropriate next step would be for women (and men) at the top to truly examine any biases they may have (Sandberg talks about the Heidi/Howard study) and work to change them or learn to ignore them. I know that I’ve noticed things about myself like how I’m sometimes more likely to jump to thinking a woman is a b*tch while slower to think a man acting the same way is an as*. By being willing to consider that we all have biases and how they might impact our choices, at least being able to take that into consideration could result in more equitable decisions being made by men and women at the top. It’s probably a step below expecting women to always help other women, but perhaps it would have similar results with hopefully less resentment and judgment that a woman making gains in the workforce is getting preferential treatment from a female boss just because she is a woman.
Betty
Advice needed from fellow moms out there: How did/do you balance trying to bank as much vacation/sick leave in preparation for a maternity leave with the need to have some/any time off while pregnant? In my current job, there is no paid maternity leave aside from any accumulated sick/vacation time. As a result, I have been banking any and all leave that I possibly could since I started this job (knowing that we were going to try and have no. 2). In the last nine months, I have taken one vacation day and two sick days (flu). I’m five months pregnant and feel so run down. Am I kidding myself that one vacation day could help me get my head back on my shoulders/catch my breath?
mascot
Letting myself get run down is pretty much how I get sick. If I am well rested, eating right, etc., I rarely get sick. Could you take that day on a Monday or Friday, that way you have a multi-day stretch to rest?
Diana Barry
We have separate vacation and sick time, so I definitely took sick days for mental health days while I was pregnant. Take care of yourself! See if you can take a Mon or Fri off to get in a long weekend next week and then again two weeks afterwards, and schedule NOTHING for the day off, unless it is a massage. Take a nap if you can, etc. Hugs!
Meg Murry
Are you feeling run down because you’re not getting enough sleep, or because you are behind on things in your life? If its sleep deprevation, then yes, take a day to sleep. If its being overwhelmed, can you take a day or afternoon to arrange some outsourcing or pre-preparation like help with cleaning or grocery shopping/cooking meals in advance for nights when you’ll be too tired?
One thing that helped me was that my OBs office didn’t even open until an hour after I usually was a work, so on days that I had an appointment I slept in. Could you start making your OB appointment days 1/2 days so you could either sleep in or just go home afterward and enjoy an afternoon of vegging instead of rushing to make up the time at work? Or I see you have 1 kid already – any chance you could ask your spouse for a weekend “off” (or at least a day) and either have him take all responsibility for the older child so you can sleep in and nap or arrange for a babysitter or playdate so you can get some time off from general childrearing craziness? That also helped me when I was exausted from pregnancy with kid #2.
Also, are you allowed to take unpaid time off after you’ve used up sick and vacation time? Can you check your budget now and make as many cuts as possible (cable, dining out, drop data plans on cell phones, etc) so that you could afford to take some unpaid time off after the baby is born?
Last, mention to your OB that you are feeling run down – they may want to check your iron, vit D or other levels to make the exhaustion isn’t related to vitamin deficiencies – my iron was low in both pregnancies, even when I religiously took my prenatal vitamins I still had to take extra iron.
Miss A
Never been pregnant, but when I was teaching, taking a mental health day when necessary totally improved my teaching and probably prevented me from getting sick. So I would say, if your body is thinking that you need a sick day, then take that day!
Suzer
I was in the exact situation. I basically had 2 years where I had no time off other than a few major holidays and what i used as maternity leave (and don’t even get me started on whether being at home with a newborn is “vacation.”)
All I can suggest is to do what you can to get “free” time during the work day. Take your lunch hours and run errands or rest. Go to doctor appointments during the work day. Don’t work extra hours unless it’s absolutely necessary. Basically, do whatever it takes so that you are resting outside of your normal 40-50 hour week. I know not everyone’s job allows for this, and it’s not exactly “leaning in” (sorry, couldn’t help myself), but the way I saw it was that if my employer was going to have such a stingy maternity leave (and in their case vacation) policy, this was how I had to deal with it.
Anonymous
This.
In the ~year before going on leave, I used vacation time only for ~3 days around Christmas and 1-2 three day weekends. I used sick leave as needed, but mostly just tried to slack my way through a paid day.
I did, however, start leave on my due date. It was my second child and I more valued a respite and clean exit from the office than returning to work with a 12 wk old vs 11 wk old baby. It’s a small difference on the back end, but a huge difference on the front end.
Mostly, we saved money. I’m the sole income, so being on unpaid leave was hard, but we were prepared and survived.
Buying Contacts Online?
So law school ruined my 20/20 vision. I’ve had glasses for about a year, and want to get contacts for the few days I don’t feel like wearing them (being a bridemaid in a wedding, going to fancy events, skiing). I have been getting recommendations that contacts are much cheaper online – any recommendations for a good/cheap/reliable online source?
FWIW, I have a very common and straightforward perscription.
Thanks!
Susie
I hear you, I has LASIK done before law school and after law school I was back to wearing glasses!
Your eye doctor might give you free trial contacts. I got one week worth of dailies each of two different brands to “try out”. Haven’t tried ordering online yet as I just have these set aside for very occasional use and still have some.
ITDS
I used 1-800-Contacts for a refill, and it was just fine. Cheaper than the eye-dr mark up and quick shipping. I just gave them my info and my eye dr’s name and number and they took care of the rest.
mintberrycrunch
I’ve had good luck with 1-800-contacts as well! Very simple process.
Also in Academia
I just looked on ebates to see who was giving the highest % back, then visited the websites to make sure they didn’t look completely sketchy. I think lens.com won for me on the day I was ordering. The lenses showed up and were exactly what I had ordered (the boxes matched the samples from my doctor perfectly). I saved probably $100 that way, and have had no problems with my lenses.
TBK
I’ve been using 1-800-contacts (which has a web site — 1800contacts[dot com]) for probably ten years or more. I just type in my prescription and the name/number of my eye doctor, and they deliver the contacts to me. I’ve been very happy with them.
Darby
Me too. I’ve also had some luck in finding coupons for them online in the past.
Katy Beth
I think that 1-800-contacts has one of THE best customer service centers ever. Seriously.
Banonarama
I use Vision Direct, and have had good experiences. They’re quite cheap to begin with, and right now, they’re offering 25% off first-time orders.
Becky
FWIW I just bought my annual supply of daily contacts in anticipation of allergy season ( I usually wear monthlies except during allergy season). I comparison shopped between Vision Direct and 1800contacts. Vision Direct was a few dollars cheaper
MB
I know its bad to admit this, but Wal-Mart (which is 1-800-CONTACTS) has the best prices that I’ve seen. Even cheaper than ordering online. By the tune of $4 per box cheaper.
Ginjury
Reposting from earlier: Does anyone here have any experience with color analysis? I know I’m a warm spring (blue eyes, red/strawberry blonde hair), but I was surprised at some of the color recommendations (salmon, coral). I’m wondering if getting the swatches would be good for me. Thoughts/experiences?
Lady Litigator
I posted a question about this earlier but it didn’t show up; I am having color analysis done now and am curious about other’s experience. I know that if I ordered this suit online, it probably wouldn’t work for me in any of the colors…
Ginjury
Where/how are you having the analysis done?
Lady Litigator
I’m having it done online; it feels a little sketchy but I have send LOADS of photos to the consultant and so far, she has asked the right questions. Plus, it is inexpensive (less than $100) in comparison to buying things in the wrong color. I know some people are skeptical, but I have seen too many bad photos of me at marketing events where my suit color makes me look washed out, or is unflattering. One of my colleagues had the same service done and looks AMAZING.
ITDS
I’ve never had a formal color analysis done, but have discovered over the years that some surprising colors work well for me. I have auburn hair, pale skin with yellow undertones, and green eyes. If you don’t want to spend money on it, you could always find a store with a bunch of different colored T-shirts on display (NY&Co comes to mind) and take a bunch of colors you wouldn’t normally pick into the dressing room to see what looks good. I did that and discovered that a color I would call “screaming coral” realy makes me look good.
Ginjury
I’d do that, but I’m finding I’m having trouble even figuring out if I look better in ivory or white. I think I’ve just assumed I needed to stay away from certain colors (specifically any reds/oranges because of their similarity to my hair) for so long that I don’t trust my judgement. That’s why I’m wondering if $25 for a few dozen swatches might be good for me.
Anonymous
When I was about 13 my mom had my colors done for me. I have medium brown hair, hazel eyes & golden undertones in my fair skin, and I’m a spring. It was really interesting (from what I remember). The lady who did the analysis draped different swaths of fabric over my shoulders to see which tone of red, yellow, blue, purple, etc looked best on me.
The ‘Color Me a Season’ analysis has undergone some changes in the last 20+ years, I’ve discovered. I’d now consider myself a clear spring. Jewel tones look way better on me than pastels, and I need the brighter, clearer colors vs muted colors, although mustard yellow and olive do look good on me. As does grass green, orange, bright coral and a warm teal.
There are, however, some colors I wear that I know are not my best colors. I still wear black, and probably wear the wrong grey regularly. But I stay away from pastel pink and navy – two of my worst colors.
Peach & coral are classic spring colors, so if these colors don’t look so hot on you, I’d question if you are a warm spring after all. Try some of the other warm spring colors & see what they do for you.
Anonymous
I just keep thinking about that scene from Roger & Me where the whole town is going to sh*t and that poor woman calls Michael Moore to tell him she was wrong, he’s not a spring but an autumn. I kind of always assumed getting your colors done was a crock of you know what after that. Obviously it’s good to note what colors become you, I’m just not sure anyone needs a full color “analysis.”
Ginjury
I’ve actually never tried wearing coral near my face because I always just assumed it was too close to my hair color to look good. I think I’m undoubtedly a spring because of my fair, peachy skin, blue eyes, and red hair. This is why I’m thinking about just ordering the swatches; I feel like I’ve really been limiting myself with colors and having the exact shades might take out some of the guess work. I think I’ll take the plunge and let you all know how it goes.
Parfait
It’s interesting to me that you assume that. I have brown hair and nobody’s ever suggested to me that I ought not wear brown because it’d be too matchy with my hair.
I’ve got some red-haired friends who look smashing in oranges and others who don’t. I think that has more to do with skin tone than hair color. The ones who look less great have more reddish/pink tones in their skin and end up looking kind of sunburnt.
Pregnancy @ Work?
Need some thoughts on disclosing pregnancy. I work in a different office location from my team and manager. I work at home most days, but when I go into the office, the folks I see have nothing to do with my actual job or department (I’m basically a squatter in my local office).
That said, I’m 14w pregnant. I will be out for all of Q4 this year. I have a good relationship with my boss (who is female and has kids), and don’t really expect much in the way of backlash to the announcement, other than perhaps sheer dread (quite honestly, my boss will probably think i’m meeting with her to tell her i’m quitting, and be so relieved that i’m “just” pregnant that she’ll go for whatever I suggest). I do, however, travel a lot for work, and I don’t want to be pulled off things prematurely because my boss wants to “look out for me.” I’d ideally like to be included as if nothing is different, then push back if and when required (which is what I do now).
At what point should I call up my boss and tell her? I could conceivably go to like, June, without seeing her in person, though we may meet up at a conference in May. It’s my first baby, so I’m not showing and I probably won’t show beyond concealment for another month or so (?). Because I work at home/remotely/away from the group, I’ve not had issues with needing to leave early for appointments or taking an hour nap at lunch from sheer exhaustion.
wolverine
Has your boss gone through pregnancy herself? All my current bosses are moms and they knew that it was fine to travel up until about two months before due date so I have been getting assignments that require travel and I was the one who had to push back and say that I will stop traveling after a certain date. Perhaps you should tell your boss now but say something like “I have had a fairly easy pregnancy so far (assuming that’s true) and I don’t foresee having to cut down on travel or anything until X weeks close to the due date. Just wanted to share that with you.” That might suffice?
Anonymous
I think it’s unlikely that your boss will pull you back prematurely, and if she does you should address it when/if it happens. For two pregnancies at two different companies, male and female supervisors with children, I’ve never had work expectations change after announcing. I’d tell her by 18 wks.
Three Button Blazers
Someone I work with was wearing a three button blazer today with nothing underneath.
How do I know this? Because it was short enough that I could see a strip of skin between the top of her pants and the blazer, and when she bent over my desk while we were reviewing a document, I saw she wasn’t wearing a bra.
Meg Murry
Gah! I really hope this was some kind of “completely soaked myself in coffee on my commute and took off soaked shirt and bra until they dried, hope no one notices” fashion disaster, not a planned outfit.
Is there a “things you should never do” list here for clueless newbies (like show too much cleavage, wear skirts that are too short when you sit or forget to cut the vents in your suits)? Because if so, “never wear a blazer without a shirt or dress underneath it” should definitely be on that list. Wow.
TO Lawyer
I would blame Hollywood for that one. I’ve never even imagined wearing a blazer without a blouse underneath but you see it all the time on the runway and it actually works for certain starlets. (None of whom are working in an office of course)
Olivia Pope
Wow. I am stunned.
Scarf Naif
I am looking to add a few nice silk-type scarves to my collection of accessories. The small, tie-once-around-your-neck type, not the big woolly wrap-twice-around-your-neck-and-it-still-covers-your-headlights type. Where should I look? I have found the ones at BR and AT to look a bit cheap, plus I don’t love the patterns. Hermes is 5x – 10x more expensive than I would like, although very beautiful. Thanks!
AIMS
I have had good luck with scarves from Talbots and Brooks Brothers (I buy both on sale). Also the Metropolitan Museum of Art Shop has really nice silk scarves and they are also frequently discounted.
AIMS
Here’s a link to some of the Met ones. Some are a little fussy, but I really like the William Morris ones. I have other prints from past seasons and they are very nice quality.
AIMS
Ugh. Forgot link: http://store.metmuseum.org/search?q=neckerchief&categoryPathRefs=shop&setpagenum=1&isviewall=1&perpage=14
Scarf Naif
Thanks — these are all great leads (although I am a bit horrified by this: http://www.brooksbrothers.com/Raccoon-Scarf/WK00128,default,pd.html?dwvar_WK00128_Color=BLCK&contentpos=13&cgid=0506)
AIMS
Haha, but if you buy 2, you can get the 3rd free!
CBM
This is a fantastic idea! I am tempted to buy a few…
NYC
Bloomingdales, or some other nice department store that will have a scarf section. Echo makes some nice, not crazy expensive ones.
Anon for this
Advice question here about office politics:
I’m finishing up my first year at a consulting firm and I have had a very successful first year, complete with three performance reviews with the highest available scores across the board. When I spoke with my company assigned mentor (meant to be my advocate in employee reviews) about steps I could take to improve my chances for senior associate, he/she informed me that it was nearly impossible to make senior associate before the standard two year mark because I don’t have the breadth of experience required for a senior associate. It frustrates me that my coworkers who have seemingly coasted along for two years will likely make senior before me, even though I have superior reviews. My mentor told me that the two year mark is pretty much a rule. My question is this – how do I stay motivated with this information? It is so tempting to fall back and coast, knowing that my promotion will be at two years whether my performance is stellar or mediocre. I’d really appreciate advice, or “I’ve been there” stories. Thanks!
Anon Consulting
I’m 5 years in at a big 4 consulting firm. The rule at my firm is you spend one year at level and then the next year is your first chance for promotion. They are absolutely right in saying that you may not have the breadth of experience after one year. But I completely agree that is is frustrating to see “lazy” people get promoted ahead of you because they have an extra year. Been there.
With that said, my recommendation is NOT to fall back and coast. As you approach the next promotion cycle the discussions will likely be around your current work and few may remember the stellar job you did in the previous year. I say that because more people than your advocate will be on the laddering call who may have a say on how you end up. Also, your bonus and promotion increases can be better (they are at my company) if you are ranked as an “Incredible” promote versus a “normal” promote.
Anon for this
Thank you, it’s encouraging to hear that you’ve been there and seen this happen too. I think one of the biggest issues for me now is I started last year right before the start of our bonus/raise review process, so I was skipped over because I didn’t have any performance evaluations yet. So it will be a year and a few months before I see any fruits of my labor. I’m going to take the advice here and try to focus on being the “go-to associate” or something along those lines. I feel slightly renewed with a new goal in mind that is attainable. Thanks again!
Anon Consulting
I had the EXACT same situation happen when I started. I wanted a January start date but they had none available, so I waited until mid February. Low and behold the cut off was having a start date before February 1st to qualify for the reviews. Very frustrating.
AIMS
I assume you have other goals besides just making Sr. Associate, no? Focus on having a stellar reputation and being known for your work. Not all people with the same title are considered equal. Being known for high quality work and for doing more than the bare minimum will always benefit you. Believe me, even if you work somewhere where you can “coast,” everyone knows who the coasters are and they don’t get plum assignments or great opportunities often. Not to mention that you should always keep in mind how your work speaks for you in the event that you want/need to switch positions.
Anon for this
Thanks AIMS, good advice as always! I really appreciate your comment about changing my focus – I’m goals-oriented so I think my issue was that now my goal of making senior is less in my control. I would like to sustain and even improve my reputation as a hard worker. I feel a little bit better now and ready to start tomorrow with 100% effort! Thanks again.
Anonymous
This. “everyone knows who the coasters are and they don’t get plum assignments or great opportunities often.” Your reputation will help you as grow in your responsibilities leading to more opportunities to showcase your abilities.
At my firm they also would be highly unlikely to promote after only one year at a level, but strong reviews are reflected in higher compensation.
anon in-house
I was in the same position as you, but I ended up leaving after 15 months because the bump to seniority would take *much longer than 2 yrs* so I didn’t feel it was worth sticking around. 2 yrs sounds like a short time to expect a sudden promotion, unless you came in to the co. with promises that you would be up for such consideration after a year. My advice is to just soak up everything, don’t assume you learned everything there is to know in one year. New issues, client problems and questions come up all the time and each one is an opportunity for you to hit one out of the park anew. Also, you wouldn’t want your 2nd year’s review to be flatlined after such a positive year. You set the bar, now raise it for yourself and be proud of your work (and the fact that you’re doing better than the coasters, you’ll reap dividends if you’re patient)!
anon in-house
Woops, I meant: 1 yr sounds like a short time to expect a sudden promotion to seniority**
Anon for this
You’re definitely right about it being a short time, but I was hoping for an early bump because two years is when about 95% get promoted (if you stay at associate for 3 years it’s normally a bit of a hint to move on). I am very guilty of being a recent graduate and impatient in my career. I am used to putting in work and seeing the immediate results/benefits, and I think I need to somehow learn to be more patient with career matters. Thank you for your advice! I’ll punch my effort up again starting tomorrow.
anon in-house
I can sympathize with feelings about ” putting in work and seeing the immediate results/benefits”, but that’s a very common issue for young graduates entering the workforce. We are used to semester and taking tests, thus seeing a quick turnaround from effort input to results output, with changes every half-year. The ‘real world’ is a marathon, not a race to any particular finish line. This is an ongoing lesson for me after soooo many years in school. I kept looking around for new jobs every time I got bored, and I am now trying to let myself sit still in one position without becoming a “jumper” who gets bored easily.
new york associate
I agree with this. For me, the hardest shift from school to work was the shift from immediate, explicit feedback to long-term, unspoken feedback. There are report cards and gold stars in the work world, but they are much fewer and far between. I’d take this time as an opportunity to reach for other goals (client development? improving your writing or analysis skills? tackling harder problems?). And think of it this way: you’re laying the foundation for a faster promotion from senior associate to whatever is next.
Apple
You are going to be doing this work things for 30+ years probably. Focus on short, medium and long-term goals and cultivate a reputation not only for excellent work but for maturity in the workplace. You want to be seen as having “skill” goals – bigger clients, more responsibility, more complex assignments – not just salary/title goals.
anon
Two years doesn’t seem like a long time to wait to get promoted, especially if you are new to the industry and company! Not all jobs even have the possibilities for promotion built into them, so I would just take a deep breath and stop and realize that everything really is working out for the best.
Anon
I know how you feel. I started as a new associate at a law firm (as a 2012 grad), but had significant work experience prior to law school (not in law, I get that its a little different, and substantive legal concepts are a focus of my professional development efforts). I was working really hard, thinking I could be bumped up with a stellar year. During my review, which was mostly a preview since I had only been at the firm a few months, I was essentially told that its virtually impossible for first years to earn a bonus, no matter how “stellar” their year, and that its virtually impossible to move up before year 3. That put a huge damper on my motivation, to be honest. Doing good work and being the best in your area seems like a given. It just seems hard when you’re told ahead of time that it is unlikely to rewarded at all. So now my mind set is to step looking at associate levels as a goal, and instead look at it as what can I do now to increase my ability to attract business/become partner later. Even if I don’t end up wanting to be partner, I don’t think developing relationships and subject matter expertise can hurt anything.
Anon
*stop looking
Alanna of Trebond
I am really curious what you mean, because as far as I can tell, in law there are not specific things to move up to–you can get assigned similar work at all associate classes, although typically certain work is assigned to juniors because of billing (juniors are cheaper) and experience reasons.
In terms of bonus, most firms will pay a stub-year bonus if you did not work the full year.
Anne Shirley
Your “bonus” as a first year is getting paid $$$ for on the job training. I find it surprising you wouldn’t already be aware of this system. Were you actually looking to be bumped up a class year?
anon for this
A few thoughts: people always notice great work. If you haven’t, align yourself with some associates that are a few levels above you whose work you admire. Learn how they do their job so you can work them out of a job as you both get promoted. If you are very good, they will likely take you along with them as they move to new work. What are you doing to distinguish yourself from your peers? Are you studying for any certifications? Are you giving back? Are you developing good relationships with your client? Finally, I’m in Big 4 like Anon Consulting, who is correct: do not fall back and coast, particularly right now. The industry won’t do “layoffs” because they got slammed for it a few years ago, but the partners have prepared to let people go for “performance-related reasons” at the end of this performance cycle.
Need Help with Bare Legs
I have a fancy “gala” to go to and have bought a lovely prussian blue lace c*tail dress to wear with strappy sandals. I plan to go bare on my legs, which are very pale and often have a light bruise or two from working out (just a bump will cause a light bruise). What products do you recommend to make your legs look shimmery, hide any imperfections and generally more attractive. I am not sure whether to use a bronzer, self tanner, leg makeup or just a lotion with shimmer. What specific products do you guys like to use to make your bare legs look nice with a short c*tail dress?
Nellie
I’ve never tried it but people here have recommended the Sally Hansen leg spray before… “Airbrush” I think?
AnonAZ
I’ve used this and like it. It is a little shimmery/glittery (very fine sparkles), but enough that I thought it was a little weird in daylight. It was perfect for a c*cktail party.
Mountain Girl
I ordered my first pair of nude fishnet stockings. I’m hoping they are a win for me.
Nonny
That is what I do. When in doubt, nude fishnets.
sick bear
How much better is better enough to go back to work after being sick?
I’m not contagious–I had food poisoning–and I’m going stircrazy after two full days at home. Still fairly weak and subsisting on ginger ale, crackers, and clear soup, though. Fever broke yesterday. Is there a rule that I should be following?
Nonny
No rule, but if you aren’t eating yet, I would stay home. Going to work will probably really tire you out unnecessarily. Take a day to lie on the couch, have some solids and get your strength up. Glad to hear you are on the mend!
Susie
Since you don’t have something contagious, I’d say go back as soon as you’re feeling up to it/can sit through a meeting without having to run for the toilet!
Blonde Lawyer
The rule as a kid staying home from school was go back the day after I retained solid foods.
Pregnancy ambivalence?
Anybody else out there feel…ambivalent…about a pregnancy early on? This is my second; my first little one is two. And though we’ve talked about another baby this year, I didn’t expect it to happen so quickly!
I’ve googled and it seems like this is a real phenomenon, especially early in pregnancy. It’s freaking me out a bit, though, because baby #1 was so highly-anticipated. And I’m not sure if this could just be worries that life, which is finally getting into a good rhythm, is about to change again.
Anybody go through this? FWIW, I’m 8 wks and have known for about 2 wks.
Pregnancy ambivalence?
I should add that I know that I am lucky to have this as an issue at all. No disrespect meant to those TTC.
NYNY
Re-post on the am thread – I’m sure you’ll get more response. It’s not you, it’s the timing of your question.
Anonymous
To tell the truth, I was completely horrified both times I became pregnant. Both times we were TTC, so its not like they were surprises. The second time I was even seeing a fertility specialist. So, I guess my feelings were more than ambivalent- they were strongly negative. I never had PPD, and the negative feelings passed and eventually my children became a huge and important part of my life. However, it takes a while for me and for the first 3 months of each of my pregnancies I kept an eye on how much time I had left to legally get an abortion and forget about the whole thing.
cbackson
Probably too late for anyone to see this, but can someone recommend a florist in DC? One of my best friends is starting a new job and I’d prefer to work with a local florist rather than FTD or similar. Thank you!
cfm
OOOO allen woods they are in woodley park I love them! I ordered a friend flowers there for her hospital room and she said they were the most beautiful she has ever seen, and that doctors and nurses actually came in to comment on them. They are pricey- I think I paid for a midrange option and it was 125. (we did a group gift) But they do a great job.
cbackson
Thank you!
Curious George
Never really buy from Macy’s but you can get 15% off with code TXTCLB. The code plus this already seeming like a good deal I ended up buying the jacket with the paisley skirt. Hopefully it’s a keeper. I also bought a pair of Ivanka Trump pumps so there goes whatever semblance of savings I used to justify my purchase.
Marketer-a-go-go
…so about the suit. I ran into these suiting separates at Macy’s today. Not much left in my size, but got the black/white stripe jacket and black pencil skirt (this collection has a couple stripe/pattern options aside from the colors listed here). Very nicely fitted and decent quality. Ponte knit travels extremely well and I travel a lot, so I couldn’t pass up. For the same reason, I went to Macys.com and ordered a couple other fun jackets and skirts. The colors are fabulous! This is what I’ll be in for the usual work day this summer. Get a couple sets on Macys.com while most sizes are available!