Suit of the Week: L.K. Bennett

For busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional.

Oooh: a simple, classic, black tweed skirt suit is always in style, and I love this one from L.K. Bennett. Wear them together, wear them separately, wear them with neutrals, wear them with deep jewel tones in the fall and pastels in the spring… the possibilities are endless. Love. The jacket (Joyce Tweed Jacket) is $495, and the skirt (Joyce Tweed Skirt) is $265.

Here’s a very nice fitted tweed blazer in plus sizes in black and white, and this brown tweed suiting comes in regular, petite, plus sizes, and plus-size petites.

This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!


  1. appellate jobs in the Bay Area :

    I am posting again in the hopes for a few more replies, and to take advantage of the time difference on the west coast now. Thanks so much to those who responded yesterday!

    Is anyone experienced with the appellate legal market in the SF Bay Area? What kinds of opportunities are there for an appellate attorney? I’m an appellate attorney, class of 2008, did a federal appeals clerkship. I used to work in Big Law and now work at a gov’t agency doing solely appellate. I absolutely love this kind of work and love my job, but we are likely relocating to the SF Bay Area due to my husband’s job. I’m from the Bay Area and am admitted to practice in CA already.

    I would love to hear from anyone who knows the appellate legal market well. I’m really not that interested in firm life (mostly because it’s hard to do 100% appellate at a firm, I think) and would strongly prefer to stay in government.

    Any insight would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

    • I don’t know anything about the Bay Area legal market, so I’m sure this is not really all that helpful. But I am also an appellate attorney (and LOVE it so much) and in my area practically the only way to do this work full time is in criminal law, either for the Attorney General’s office representing the State or for the Public Defender or as a CJA panel attorney. So those might be things to consider in CA, if that interests you particularly if you don’t want to go to a firm.

  2. too much stuff :

    Can anyone recommend a professional home organizer in DC? Looking for someone who is experienced and friendly and familiar with optimizing small spaces (we live in the city).

    • anon a mouse :

      White Space Organizing is recommended frequently in my neighborhood (I haven’t used her).

  3. Any recommendations on birth control, for someone who has not been on it for nearly a decade? Between years of trying to get pregnant and a few kids later, it’s been a while since I have been on BC. I am a complete wuss about pain and I know for sure I don’t want to go the IUD route. Back when I was on BC, I used the patch (not sure that’s even around anymore). Suggestions?

    • How about the nuvaring?

      • Do not do the nuvraing. Search studies linked to depression and problems with it. No doctor should be advising anyone use it anymore.

        • Also Anon :

          It really depends on the person. I have struggled with anxiety and depression for much of my life, and have been on the Nuvaring for the past 4 years. My depression symptoms are, on the whole, better than when I didn’t use birth control.

        • But that’s true of other forms of HBC as well.

        • I’ve been on it for more than a decade and I adore it. And I’m a happier person on it than I was before I used it. So…YMMV. FWIW, I have a bunch of lady doctor friends, and they all–all!-use the ring personally.

      • I liked the Nuvaring. Did not make me crazy but I swear it made my hair thin. Love my copper IUD!!! (Why wouldn’t you want an IUD?)

        • Rainbow Hair :

          All bodies are different, and an IUD isn’t the answer for everyone. I’ve had two, with severe pain both times, and my body just rejects them and sort of pushes them out. It’s not pretty.

          I’m just saying this because I went through a little bit of “what is WRONG with me?!” when the IUD just wouldn’t work for me. Nothing is wrong with me, just… bodies are different.

          • I expelled a copper IUD and then had an awful time with Mirena and had it removed, so you’re not alone!

    • Two friends rave about their Norplant.

    • Anonymous :

      My doctor does not recommend the pill for anyone over 35 if that helps.

    • Anonymous :

      I’m in the same boat right now and after years of not altering my hormones, I’m reticent to go back. H is getting snipped.

      • +1, the vas is wonderful. Let them take over the responsibility for birth control! No effect on them!

    • Anonymous :


    • Anonymous :

      Husband snipped or cond*ms if you are both happy using them.

    • I will have to put in a plug in favor of the IUD. Although insertion can be painful for some, it can be greatly greatly reduced depending on what your doctor gives you. A muscle relaxant and dialating drug, plus 800 mg of Ibuprofen made it nearly painless for me. I would never go to a doctor that just shoves it in there. 5 heavenly yrs of low dose drama free BC

      • Anonymous :

        I had all of this and thought it was excruciatingly painful, so it’s definitely not a breeze for everyone. I haven’t given birth though and I’ve heard it’s much easier after childbirth. Still, after giving birth several times I think she gets to make her husband shoulder the burden of birth control.

      • Agreed. For me IUD was virtually painless (felt like one day of period cramping).

  4. Anonymous :

    My friend B was in Las Vegas during the shooting. We’re semi-close but recent friends. I texted her when I heard about the shooting to ask if she was okay, but didn’t hear back. The next day I ran into another friend who had also texted B when she heard the news, and she told me B had wrote back that she was okay. So I know she’s fine despite (still) not hearing back myself. Ordinarily she’s a very prompt texter.

    I’m going to see her again for the first time this weekend at a small party. I’m assuming I shouldn’t say anything like “uh if I hadn’t run into Other Friend I’d be worried you were dead?” If she doesn’t bring it up, do I just pretend like it never happened?

    I certainly don’t want to act like her scary experience was secondary to how it affected me, and I understand why she wouldn’t want to respond to texts from lots of people if she was upset. But it’s been a couple weeks and at no point has she been like “sorry for not being in touch before but yes I’m alive.”

    • Anonymous :

      Can you clarify what the issue is? Are you feeling hurt or rejected because she didn’t text? Or did you go into some kind of intense anxiety or fear and are angry because she “let” you remain in that place without checking in?

      Either way, don’t put this on her. Her phone must have blown up and gone crazy during that time. Just say, “I was thinking of you; it must have been crazy being in the city during that time.” Let her talk if she wants, but don’t feel hurt if she doesn’t want to confide.

      • Anonymous :

        Thanks, that’s a good suggestion.

        I guess for me the issue was if I consider someone a friend, I wouldn’t want to leave them hanging thinking something terrible might have happened to me, and when I was safely able to do so I’d be in touch. (I hope so anyway, have never actually gone through a terror attack or similar.)

        • Anonymous :

          Right. So you have no clue what you’d do at all. You didn’t send 14 panicked follow up texts right? Because you knew she was okay? Let it go.

        • Don’t interpret her reaction to a terror attack as a comment about you or your friendship. It isn’t. She didn’t do anything wrong. Let this go.

      • +1, esp to second paragraph. I was in Boston for the marathon bombing, though not at the finish line, and I couldn’t keep up with all the inquiries, even 1-2 weeks later as follow up ‘are you ok?’ texts and emails flooded in from out of town family.

    • She probably got a ton of texts as folks heard about the shooting – yours is probably one that slipped through the cracks (she may either not realize she got one or believe that she answered it). I get the sense that this feels like a personal slight to you – it’s almost certainly not intentional!

    • You need to let this go. She’s been through a lot in the last few weeks, don’t dwell on her failure to text you.

    • Anonymous :

      Honestly, she doesn’t owe you an explanation or an apology or anything really. Yes, it was nice of you to check in, but give her some grace here. This was a really upsetting time for a lot of people. She may have been working through dozens of texts and calls. Would you really want your friends on your case if the roles were reversed?

    • This is probably one of the times you just need to let it to. your friend probably had a bunch of ppl sending her texts and yours just didn’t get replied to.

      Be gracious, patient, and remember that you are a good friend for thinking of her and she’s probably trying to unpack all the shock of emotions with a tragic event in her hometown.

    • It hasn’t been a couple of weeks. It’s been 10 days. Since the largest mass shooting in recent history. Let it go.

    • Anonymous :

      Okay, point taken everyone, thanks for the reality check!

    • She probably didn’t know she missed your text. Everyone she knows was texting her. This is not about you. Don’t bring it up.

      • Sorry to pile on– most of those responses had not posted when I started mine.

        • Anonymous :

          No worries…I appreciate the responses and even before writing the question I assumed I should let it go.

    • Anonymous :

      Let it go. You were not worried. You found out from a friend. This is not about you.

    • Anonymous :

      At some point, you assume that everyone will spread the word that you’re OK. So if you think they’ve heard, you don’t need to follow up (ie, I assume my mom tells all family, so I don’t reach out to grandparents, siblings, etc.). If my mom says I’m alive, do you really need to hear it from me also?

      Still remember 9/11

    • Blonde Lawyer :

      She might not know what to say. I was at Boston, two blocks from the finish line. I didn’t even want to talk to my family after because I was still processing it and struggling to talk about it. Everyone wants to know “are you ok?” and that is a complex answer. Physically? Yes. Emotionally? I wasn’t sure. Actually, it wasn’t that I wasn’t sure, I knew I wasn’t emotionally ok, but my friends appeared to be and I didn’t know how to deal with that. I didn’t want to lie to people and say I was fine. I also didn’t want to say “I’m completely terrified every time I hear sirens or loud noises and I don’t want to be in crowds.” I felt like I shouldn’t qualify as as a victim because I didn’t see the worst of it and I was physically intact. It took me a year and push from a lot of people to admit I was struggling and get help.

      Everyone processes trauma differently and what worked for me might not work for your friend. What would have worked for me is someone saying “hey, it must have been really hard being in Vegas. I’m sure you are still going through a lot. If you ever want to talk about it, I’m here, but don’t feel like you have to talk to me about it either.” Then offer an out of the conversation like what are you drinking? That let’s her totally change the subject or bring it back to Vegas if she does want to talk.

    • Linda from HR :

      This is why I like social media. Those wistful “thoughts and prayers” statuses may be useless, but if something bad happens your city (or a city people know you’re visiting) you can post a quick status assuring people you’re fine, were nowhere near the incident, sheltering in place, whatever it is.

    • This is petty AF. Let it go.

  5. my nails need a break from gels. but I also don’t have the patience to sit around waiting for regular nail polish to dry. any insight into those “not quite gel” kits from essie and co? not worried about the chipping so much as the dry time.

    • Use a quick dry top coat over regular nail polish. I recommend Seche Vite. Apply to tacky nails and let dry for about 5 minutes and you are good to go.

    • SC lawyer :

      Believe it or not, I have had better luck with the Sally Hansen “miracle gel” not-quite-gel. I take them to the manicurist so I can do the touch up if needed. The manis are lasting well into week 2 without needing a touch up (and gives your nails a break from actual gels).

      • Triangle Pose :

        Same – totally believe it. The Sally Hansen Miracle gel topcoat is amazing and makes everything stay for the full 2 weeks without chips or ding. I love it.

        • Does it dry quickly?

          Also, how long is regular shellac supposed to last? I got one recently and had a huge chunk of polish chip off on day 8. I know that I’m not the most delicate person out there, but I was pretty disappointed.

          • SC lawyer :

            To me, it dries the same as a regular non-gel manicure. I am one of those people who cannot get home without chipping a regular manicure and it certainly never lasted beyond a week. I sit here typing with a mani into week 2 and in a dark color (my first dark color ever…trying to get beyond my comfort zone here!) and my nails look great.

      • Does the Sally Hansen hurt your nail bed the same way that gel polish does?

    • Anonymous :

      Are shellac nails the same as gel? I love them, they dry instantly under the machines at the nail salon.

    • Maddie Ross :

      Full disclosure, I’ve never used it on my fingernails because I firmly team #nomanicure, but I love the Essie gel kit (no light kind) on my toes. It looks flawless and stays for a couple of weeks (as in they grow out before they chip).

      • Triangle Pose :

        Just curious, why are you no manicure but pro pedicure?

        • Former Retail :

          I’m on that team simply because I will mess up fingernail polish within 24 hours of a manicure. It’s not worth my time or money. I do love on other people, but I know myself too well.

          • Maddie Ross :

            Yup, pretty much that exactly. Even with a professional one, I can’t keep it nice more than 24 hours, so it’s just not worth the money. I keep my nails neat and buffed, but I don’t do any polish. Pre-kids, sometimes I would do clear, but now I can’t even wait for that to dry before I need to touch or do something it seems. This is a case of good for you, not for me though. Not a stance on fingernail polish or anything.

          • pugsnbourbon :

            SAME. I chipped my most recent professional manicure somewhere between walking out of the salon and into my own house.

          • Never too many shoes... :

            This is precisely why I practically screamed out loud with joy when shellac was invented ;) Before that, I sometimes would not even make it home without a chip.

    • Anonymous :

      I really like Essie Couture gel and find it dries quick and lasts for me.

    • I love the Essie kit. They have this great half circle brush that makes it super easy to stay in the lines. It’s not gel at all, but it stays pretty chip-free for me for a week. The Deborah Lippman one is also good, but the Essie doesn’t use a base coat, so it’s quicker. Stay away from Butter London–I didn’t like it’s kit at all (although it has divine color options!)

    • Anonymous :

      Is there a reason you don’t want to do dip powder? I had to give up gel because it was destroying my nails and they’d chip within a week because they were so brittle. I then tried regular manis but would ding my nail within a few hours every. single. time and ruin that nail.

      I’ve now been doing dip now for a few weeks and I love it–the polish is completely cured and hard when you leave the salon, so you can’t mess them up. You can shape the nails the same as you could with gel and regular nails–I know some call it “acrylic lite” but it’s nothing like the thick, unwieldy acrylics I got in college. I feel like it gives my nails the perfect amount of thickness to keep them from breaking and always being super short. And, it lasts 2 weeks at a minimum, and I’ve gone up to 4 (no chipping, just more cuticle grow-out than probably looks good). Right now I go about every 3 weeks, and pay $70 for the nails and a pedicure.

    • Someone here recommended using Essie Gel Setter topcoat on top of regular polish. It really works well! My manicure lasts about a week (by which time I want to change the colour anyway) and it comes off easily with regular nail polish remover.

  6. Reply All :

    How would you react to being trained by someone who says “I don’t know, this is just how my predecessor did it” in response to all of your questions? I don’t know how to do the procedure (hence being trained), so I don’t know if anything is actually incorrect, but this answer doesn’t exactly fill me with confidence in what I’m being taught.

    • Aside from asking the trainer or others in the company if there are other resources (manuals, FAQs, etc.) I’m not sure what the alternative reactions are to just accepting this is the level of training you will get? I see this a lot with my clients (this is why they need consultants). Can you ask your boss if there are any additional resources? I understand being concerned but I’m not sure what else you can do if this person is the only resource and their only resource was a predecessor who presumably is no longer around.

    • I would assume this person hated their job and I should find a ‘shadow trainer’ to help me troubleshoot through my questions.

    • Anonymous :

      That seems pretty normal. If you have a suggested change, I’m sure you could suggest it.

    • I’ve worked in organizations that, due to various things, have had this happen. Sometimes, it’s just a very top down management-from-on-high situation, and underlings aren’t ever looped into the why. That’s mostly not great, but some orgs just run that way…looking at you, state government! I’m more inclined to see it as the person truly doesn’t know, but doesn’t care enough to find out/is ready to move on/doesn’t feel like they have the bandwidth to train you.

    • Anonymous :

      I’d assume you’re working for a woman. I work with a lot of guys who are often wrong, but never in doubt.

      • Reply All :

        Are you serious with this response?!

        FWIW, the person training me is male but is not in doubt in any way. He’s completely confident that he’s right, just unable to explain why beyond “this is how I was told to do it because it’s how so-and-so did it.”

      • Odd reply. I assumed (as Reply All confirms) that the person was not in doubt but just didn’t know the real reason why something was done. This is very common in companies (“we have always done it this way”) especially with technology/software/tools. I don’t think making assumptions like this helps women out any.

    • Ugh, I’ve been through this before. The person training me had very specific ways of doing things that I felt were not optimal but she wouln’t let me change them even though she was handing the tasks over to me. My advice is to “accept” it for now, and maybe after a few weeks ask questions again and/or propose suggestions. Some answers might come to light after you’ve been doing it for a little bit and for other things you might find a better way to do something and will be more credible in suggesting something new after you’ve been there for a bit.

      • Flats Only :

        This. In my experience it works well to do things the way the trainer does, and then wait a little bit to see whether you can change things as you get comfortable with the task. (No, I don’t need to write the expense report number on a sticky note – IT’S THERE ON THE SCREEN!!!)

        • Anonshmanon :

          This. To the OP, I have been your trainer. When I started I was trained by this really succesfull colleague on a super-complex procedure. Many steps needed to be done acurately for the right outcome and to prevent physical harm. Also, I came in from a different field, so I did not grasp all the underlying principles.
          Three years forward, and I am the one to train the new colleague, while I have worked my way to a) consistently getting results and b) understanding what I am doing.
          So there we were and new coalleague would consistently trip me up (not intentionally, I know) with asking why, when I had never questioned my predecessors methods, simply because it was complicated enough to master. I must have told her a hundred times “oh, we do it like this because thats how I was taught. I suppose you could vary this aspect without ruining the result, but then again, it works well this way…”

      • I’m in a role where I end up doing a lot of recaps/reconciliations/true ups sometimes years after a particular compliance period. Trust me, the seemingly redundant step or two saves hours later on. Until you’ve been under the gun to get one of the reconciliation done, you don’t appreciate the process.

    • Anonymous :

      There are people who need to know why (me). I need the big picture in order to make sense of the steps. There are others who aren’t wired that way. Just knowing the steps are all they need. these people aren’t less intelligent or less professional, they just have a somewhat different thought process. Drives me nuts to see someone walking through a checklist of items that they don’t understand, but it works for them. Gets the job done, and they move on.

  7. Going to a charity gala on Saturday night with a cocktail dress code, and I had been planning to wear a work sheath dress + fancier than work necklace, but just looked up some photos from last year and it looks to be full-on cocktail (shiny fabrics, some strapless, etc.). Any suggestions for something I can pick up at Nordstrom or Lord and Taylor tonight?

    • Anonymous :

      I don’t know your price range, but this is what I thought looked fun at Nordstrom.

      • Love these, especially the middle one.

        These are l+t:

        And with all of these, no change of bra needed from the workday, if that’s a concern.

    • Rainbow Hair :

      From Macy’s, idk if that’s an option, a lot of the Lauren Ralph Lauren stuff looks very easy to wear (and the one I have is) including with a real bra! (i’ve wanted a reason to own this for a while – that neckline is so flattering on me!) (buy it now, wear it all winter!) (paaaaarty!)

  8. Sloan Sabbith :

    Update: Met with my boss (for TWO HOURS). I want to note- my boss was a d*ck a number of times in the last week but it’s very out of character for him. Extremely out of character. That in no way excuses how he acted, but it was not normal for him to be cruel. I wish he’d apologized. He didn’t. But…we had a good talk.

    1. I’m taking a work from home day each week for the next few weeks and possibly longer.
    2. The hearing was taken off my plate until the beginning of the year, when we will reassess. Note: I don’t plan to be at this job come January, so that likely solves this issue permanently. But as far as my boss knows I compromised.
    3. I am job searching. I just started but I am. Goal is to be out by the end of the year. I have a plan for how to make that happen.
    4. My boss got my OK to talk to another attorney at the firm for advice about what to do/supervisory stuff since he and I both understand he doesn’t have enough experience and HR isn’t an option. The attorney in question knows me well.
    5. I appreciate the caring comments I got. I’m feeling better. Not like this solves all the issues- I need to get the f out- but like I can get through the next few months while I find something else.
    6. No concerns about doctor appointments or therapy- he’s always fine with me going to them as long as I still get my work done. Don’t have to take sick time for them as long as I get in my hours for the pay period otherwise.

    • That sounds like a remarkably good outcome. Please take care of yourself, OK? Sending virtual hugs your way!

    • Triangle Pose :

      Glad to hear it. Good luck with the new attorney! At least your boss recognized through this that he doesn’t have enought experience to handle certain parts of supervising you.

      • Sloan Sabbith :

        I talk to her a lot already- he just wanted someone to talk stuff over with, and I said he can tell her anything I tell him.

    • Never too many shoes... :

      That seems like the best outcome that you could have hoped for under the circumstances, Sloan.

      I hope you feel at least some small measure of relief. Wishing you an easy sleep tonight, friend.

    • Glad to hear it!

    • New Tampanian :

      This is a great result. I am proud of you for sticking up for yourself and your health. If you trust this second attorney, I think that’s a lovely solution. He probably doesn’t have as much experience with MH issues and maybe this is a way for him to learn more or get some perspective. Big sigh of relief. Keep up the good work!

      • Sloan Sabbith :

        Exactly. She does and has been very open with me about her struggles with both anxiety and depression- and she won’t hesitate to give it to him straight if he’s being unreasonable.

    • Rainbow Hair :

      I’m especially happy to hear your seriousness (and optimism and determination!) about getting out by the end of the year! Rooting for you!

    • I am so glad to hear this. It is probably too late for you to see this note, but really appreciate you posting the update. We are pulling for you!

    • Thank you so much for updating us! I was just catching up on the morning thread and worried about you. I wish your boss had apologized but I’m so glad the hearing is off your plate. Hugs from another internet stranger.

    • One more internet stranger here sending you hugs (if you want them) and wishing you continued strength.
      +1 on everyone else’s compliments to you for standing up for yourself.
      Not a lawyer but I know about living with anxiety and depression.
      Go you. You are SO worth fighting for!

  9. SF in House :

    Dallas ladies! Two questions. I’ll be in town this weekend, staying at the Park Cities Hilton. I have most of the day free and would love recommendations for (1) something active to do and (2) a place to get a blow out. Drybar is booked. Thanks!

    • Anonymous :

      You’ll be near the Bush Presidential Library, and the SMU campus is lovely. I don’t get out much (live in ‘burbs) but also do a board search.

    • For being active – White Rock Lake, there are kayak rentals and a 9-mile loop for jogging or biking. You can also jog the Katy Trail. Dallas is certainly no hiking Mecca, and it would be far (30-minute drive at least), but the Cedar Ridge Nature Preserve is basically the only place I’d recommend for a nature walk / mild hike.

      You could also do as the natives do and get your activity in by walking around Northpark mall ;) Or check out the museums in the Arts District downtown and stop by Klyde Warren park.

      • Also! The State Fair is in town! It is Texas-OU weekend so the fair will be nuts, but if you’re into people watching, it’s a gem! And you don’t have to EAT all the weird fried foods, it’s just as entertaining to walk around and see them available.

    • Anonymous :

      Did you check both Drybars? There’s one in Shops at Highland Park and also one at Northpark. IME the Northpark one is more likely to have an opening. You’re also close to Pouf in Mockingbird Station. I haven’t been there in a few years, but IIRC it was decent but tended to overcurl and hairspray my hair compared to Drybar. If you go there I’d be really specific and watch when they start curling. Another option might be Blo at 75 & Knox, which is Gwyenth Paltrow’s “brand” of blowout salons (I’ve never been).

      Second the recs for WRL and Katy Trail if you just want to run or bike. There are a number of private bike rental companies that have popped up recently–look at VBike, LimeBike, and SPIN. They’re all the type where the bikes can be left anywhere public, and you use the app to locate the closest one and reserve/unlock it. They’re pretty clunky if you’re used to road biking, but nice enough if you just want to cruise.

      Don’t go anywhere near Fair Park on Saturday morning/afternoon. The traffic for TX-OU is ridiculous and not worth it. If you want to try the fair, go Saturday afternoon welllll after the game is over (and the fans have succumbed to their drunken naps), or go Sunday.

    • Try BAM Beauty Bar , Pouf or The Hair Bar for a blowout. As far as activities, they have some free classes at Klyde Warren Park on the weekends. Check out the park’s website.

  10. Anon DCC fan :

    I’ve noticed there’s a few fellow “making the team” fans on here which i love – glad to know I’m not alone!! I’m so sad though bc my cable provider stopped carrying CMT. does anyone know of a way to watch the show online, etc.? I really miss it! Thanks!!

    • You're not alone :

      I have been watching DCC since the first season. It’s my guilty pleasure for sure!

      I almost canceled my Comcast subscription after they dropped CMT. I have bought the current season through Amazon Prime, which has new episodes available every Thursday. I think it’s $15 for the entire season.

    • I love this too.

      lol, i get jealous of those ladies though!

    • Anon DCC fan :

      Thanks SO much! Buying right now :)

    • Charmed Girl :

      You can also go on CMT dot com and watch the full episodes for free. I’ve managed to figure out how to connect my laptop to my TV so it works well. Good luck!

  11. Phoenix Recs :

    Landing in Phoenix at 9am local time on Sunday for a work conference that doesn’t begin until Monday at noon. Any recommendations?? I’m 13 weeks pregnant and it’ll be hot – would love to see some scenery – could rent a car maybe? Where do I drive to or through? Not opposed to walking outdoors for a short period of time, but not a major hike given heat + bebe. Ideas?

    • Personally I’d buy some magazines or take a good book and check in to the spa at the Biltmore for the day. Get a treatment or two, and then just use the facilities/pools, have lunch, and relax for the day.

      • I’d LOVE to but it’s too early in the preg for a lot of spa treatments (I’m finding a lot won’t allow you for anything more than mani/pedi in first tri), and the Biltmore is my hotel and will likely be full of fellow conference go-ers and maybe even colleagues.

    • Anony Mouse :

      Yes, rent a car–that’ll be the easiest way for you to get around. The Desert Botanical Gardens is really lovely, and would be a manageable way to get a taste of desert landscapes. If you want something to do indoors, the Museum of the Musical Instrument is first-rate. If you’re an architecture buff, Taliesin West tours are pricey but worth it. Depending on what part of town you’re in, you might want to check out the Phoenix Mountains Preserve, Lookout Mountain Park, Echo Canyon Recreation Area, or North Mountain Park.
      Food-wise, Barrio Cafe is fantastic upscale Mexican, and Carolina’s is no-frills but my favorite for Mexican comfort food.

      • All of these recs are spot-on. Plus Vovomeena for breakfast/brunch (get the french toast, seriously), Postino if you’re into fancy bruschetta (a big thing in Phoenix). Hula’s Modern Tiki is also a favorite for fun island BBQ treats and cute decor. The Heard Museum is also a lovely museum about Native American history. The best burger I’ve ever had (and banana cream pie shake to die for) was at Zinburger.

        This is making me miss Phoenix! (lived there for a year)

      • The botanical garden is really, truly great. (Last time we went, it was July, and they actually let us leave for a few hours and come back in the evening after hiding in a coffeehouse from the vicious sun. It’s still hot, but not 115+.)

  12. A better job :

    Reposting because this post went up almost immediately after I posted in the morning thread.

    I’m getting ready to apply to a kind of perfect job. I’m not actively looking to leave my current position but this is too good to pass up. I alternate between absolute excitement and complete terror at the thought of leaving my current, comfortable job and going to one with more responsibility, a higher profile and the move that accompanies it. I know I’m going to apply for the job, but how do I go into this process rationally and with my eyes wide open?

    • Anon in NYC :

      Remind yourself that simply applying does not mean that you’ll get the job. I find that always helps put things in perspective!

      • And it also doesn’t mean you have to say yes to the job if you do get it! It’s an exploration on both sides.

  13. Anonymous :

    I’m supposed to go to SF next week for work. I’m pregnant and also have asthma, which seems to be worse since getting pregnant (although I’m not currently taking any meds for it, so it’s not super severe). I’m really concerned about the air quality issues. I know there are pregnant (and pregnant asthmatic) women who live in SF and almost all of them will probably be fine, but given that this is a risk I can pretty easily avoid, I think I’d rather not take it. I have a call into my doctor to see what she says, but if she’s not enthusiastic about me going, I think I want to tell work I can’t go. Is that wildly inappropriate? I hate to be that leaning-out-pregnant-woman but I also don’t want to jeopardize my health or my baby’s health to attend an annual conference at which I have no important role (not speaking or staffing a booth or anything like that, just listening to talks). Should I offer to cover sunk costs (~$600 of plane ticket + conference registration fee, hotel is still refundable at this point)?

    • If your doctor says no. I study air quality and can understand your hesitance, do what is best for your health. And find a way to explain it to your work colleagues, you can cover the sunk costs as a compromise.

    • Anonymous :

      Offering to cover the cost of the plane ticket seems absurd. This is a work trip. This is a risk the company bears when they send people places for work. What if you broke your foot on the way to the airport? Do what your doctor says. If the doctor says you don’t have anything to worry about, then go on the trip.

    • Anonymous :

      Ask your doctor, but this seems like a ridiculous thing to be overly concerned about. Don’t walk around outside. Stay in the hotel as much as possible. If this was something worth traveling to, go. You’ll have all sorts of time to lean out soon. Don’t be that fragile.

      • Anonymous :

        Telling her she is being “ridiculous” is kind of unfair. I was asked to go to a work conference in Florida last year when I was not yet pregnant. It was not in Miami, but near Miami. We ended up having to do fertility treatments and thank goodness I didn’t go to Florida – the fertility doctor asks you to sign waivers and won’t begin treatment if you’ve been to a zika infested area within 6 months. Your same logic (stay inside) would’ve worked for that too.

      • Anonymous :

        Her fetus needs oxygen. Bad air quality can affect asthmatics in a range of ways, and might require treatment that would otherwise be unnecessary. If her doctor agrees that it’s a concern, then it’s a concern.

      • Anonymous :

        I live here and while “just stay inside” is the advice for healthy adults, I know a lot of pregnant, elderly and ill people who are freaking out. Many of them have bought air filters and masks and I know some people who have chosen to leave the area. If her doctor says she can go I agree she can go but I don’t think it’s a stupid concern. A couple of days ago the news said the air quality here is the worst it’s been in a generation. It got better today but will likely get worse again. The fires are barely contained so it just depends on how the wind blows. Bad air quality can cause low birthweight and premature birth so I don’t think its overly “fragile” to be worried about it.

        • I live here, don’t have asthma, and it’s pretty awful right now (also waiting to find out if our family home is still standing and trying not to explode at the question upthread about someone not texting mid-crisis, newsflash – it is not about you). It’s completely reasonable not to come here right now.

          • +1. I live and work in SF and it’s even worse today (Thurs. am). I don’t have asthma; I’m not pregnant; and my eyes and throat sting right now and I have a headache in my air-conditioned supposedly filtered air office building downtown. Do not come here.

      • Sloan Sabbith :

        The current air quality in San Francisco is at 131- “unhealthy for sensitive groups.” Tomorrow, it’s supposed to skyrocket to 180- “unhealthy.” That’s unhealthy for ALL people. A single shift of the wind and the smoke from the fires north are coming into San Francisco, and that’ll make it very unhealthy or hazardous.

        As someone with a serious lung condition, anything above 70 causes issues for me. I’m just now finally recovering from the smoke in Seattle a month ago.

        Skip it. It’s not worth it.

      • You clearly don’t have asthma. I can literally walk by a car spewing exhaust and spiral into several days worth of oral steriods, excessive coughing and nebulizer treatments. Sometimes this can get so bad that your back muscles hurt just from working so hard to breathe.

        Once you have asthma, and you are set off, you enter into a loop of hyper bronchial sensitivity.

        I am from the Bay Area (currently in Boston) and my friends who are not asthmatic are having problems right now. All of them are waking at night, contacts killing them, spending minimal time outside.

        OP–You know your asthma best. Please don’t risk this. The smoke is not “normal” smoke either–a lot of my friends are telling me that it smells awful and toxic, because it’s not just brush that burned–it’s houses.

        Plus, a lot of asthma drugs are not-super-safe for the fetus, so why risk that? I think you’re on to something here. Bow out.

    • Is the conference in your hotel? Even if it isn’t, if you do car service there and back and stay indoors (room service), truly is it that big of a deal? I would be more concerned about a trip to a Las Vegas conference to be honest with you since indoor smoke is at the entrances.

      That’s a lot of money. Is there someone else at work who can at least get the opportunity so it’s only travel expense that’s sunk?

      • It’s so bad, buildings are having trouble keeping the fumes out and oxygen inside is low. Cancel your trip.

    • If you decide not to go, look into getting a credit for your ticket (change fees will apply) and/or applying your conference fee to a later date (presumably, after baby is born/you return from leave). That way, the majority of the costs are not “sunk,” but postponed, and you’ll have a conference to look forward to in the future. Be aware that most airlines require you to use the flight within a year of purchase, not a year of the original flight date.

    • I’m team do not go. I think you all are missing the nearby fires which have made the air quality atrocious context. This isn’t a case of special snowflake it’s an asthmatic pregnant woman traveling to an area with highly compromised air quality.

    • Anon for this :

      Bay Area woman with asthma (that doesn’t usually require drugs) here. The air is super bad where I am on the Peninsula. I imagine it’s worse in SF. We’ve had the orange-y glow of sunset since noon.

      I’d probably skip the trip. My asthma got bad really quickly when I was pregnant—from no drugs needed to carted away from my desk on a gurney in a few days. It took a long time for me to get back to good control and I was worried sick about my little one until my OB assured me that he was fine (ER doc didn’t have much knowledge of obstetrics).

      Costs of the trip are a business expense and these kinds of things happen. It’d be inappropriate to offer to reimburse for the expenses if you decide not to go. It’s not like you’re skipping out to go to the beach.

      • Anonshmanon :

        +1. In the east Bay, it was atrocious yesterday, then ok at night and back to unhealthy today. The thing is, stuff is slowly seeping in. My office is noticeably more smoky than yesterday. Consult with your doctor, but do not offer paying the cost of doing business.

      • Yeah, I’m far from special snowflake levels, and the air is so bad that it hurts my lungs and eyes to be outside. (Palo Alto here). It’s possible that it will be a lot better next week, though. Keep an eye on the predictions for the air quality index. Decide what your aqi threshold is and then give your boss a heads up that it will be a game day decision re whether it is too dangerous for you to go.

      • Anonymous :

        +3 from a non-pregnant asthmatic in Palo Alto. The air is awful and I feel like I can’t breathe AT ALL. I wouldn’t come and I don’t think you’re a snowflake. SF is definitely worse than the peninsula.

    • You’ll be fine. The city will be fine. The winds are usually westerly, meaning they blow from the ocean toward the hills, so any residual smoke will blow out of the city. The northerly winds we are having, which caused the rapid spread of the fires, are extremely unusual. As miserable as it has been, it will definitely clear up by next week.

      Don’t be the leaning out pregnant woman. You will miss me-time once the baby’s born. Come to the conference, skip some of the sessions, put your feet up and order room service. It will be a long time before you can do that again!

    • Please don’t go. I’m in SF. The air is smoky, ash landed on my jacket on the way home, and my hair smells like smoke. I have respiratory problems and this has made them worse.

    • Don’t go. Missing a conference isn’t leaning out if it is for valid health reasons; if you’re concerned about that, see if there is something additional you can work on / help with that doesn’t involve going to SF. I was in Seattle this summer while pregnant when the wildfire smoke was pretty bad. I stayed at a friend’s home with brand new air filters and didn’t go outside much. I have NO asthma or breathing problems. It was miserable; my cough lasted weeks and it made my nausea worse.

  14. This article is old, but I just found it and loved it. Hope it’s a pick me up.

    My heart is breaking for California, especially as the death toll rises.

  15. Anon for This :

    So my husband’s best friend is supposedly getting married next weekend. While I’m generally quite fond of the friend, the wedding is constantly in a state of “is it happening or not?” because the friend and would-be bride can’t seem to agree on prenup.

    I am a high risk pregnancy and 33 weeks. I was sent over to labor and delivery last week to monitor contractions (everything ok, but they’ve put me on activity restrictions). My doctor has advised me not to fly. Wedding is in a HCOL area and requires a decent amount of cash to lay out from us (long distance flight, hotel, tux, etc etc etc). Hubby has been waiting to book everything because we’re just not sure it’s actually going to happen.

    I’m totally frustrated… I’m not real excited about hubby and I being separated while I’m in this tenuous place in my pregnancy; I’m confused why these people can’t seem to figure their prenup issues out (?? is this normal so close to a wedding) and annoyed at the prospect of having to cancel plans, lose money, etc.

    Am I being a jerk? Should I do anything…. or just sit back with some popcorn and watch the show? Thanks for space to rant.

    • Well, your pregnancy alone is a good enough reason for you and your husband to stay home. And if the wedding does happen, it’ll be better for everyone if there is not a pair of annoyed guests in attendance.

    • Senior Attorney :

      Normally I am Team Suck It Up, but if you have had contractions already I totally understand not wanting your husband to be a plane flight away. I think this is a situation in which you get to put your foot down and your husband just has to use his get-out-of-jail-free card with this friendship.

    • Anonymous :

      I’m the anon who told the pregnant lady to go to SF for work above, but this to me is a completely different situation (you’ve already had early contractions and are at risk and have been told not to fly). You do not go.

      • Anon for This :

        I’ve had a busy day at work and blindly posted this – haven’t made it through the other threads on here today. So no worries.
        Ladies, thanks for the back-up.
        This is our first pregnancy after losses x3, so yeah… I am def not going.. just wasn’t sure it was right/fair to ask my husband to bail on his BFF’s wedding.

    • anon for this :

      In your situation, I would ask my husband not to go just because of the pregnancy. I had pre-term contractions and was put on bed rest around 31-32 weeks. I ended up going to labor and delivery for monitoring 3 times before I actually gave birth. My son was born at 35 weeks.

      FWIW, though, my SIL and her husband had a lot of problems getting their prenup worked out. From what I understand (all second-hand), it was pretty complicated for a variety of reasons. They just wanted it done, but their lawyers kept bringing up different issues they needed to address (rightly so, IMO, but I’m a lawyer). They were having a tiny wedding at MIL’s house, but I remember my MIL stressing out about it being on-again, off-again and then throwing it together at the last minute. So, maybe it’s not uncommon.

      • Same story–contractions at 32 weeks, in and out of the hospital several times, before delivering at 34 weeks. Was even more stressful because my husband was across the country for one of my hospitalizations–he ended up having to take a last-minute red eye back. Long story short, it is 100% reasonable for you to ask your husband to stay home.

  16. I am a chair at a conference and while I have one standard black pantsuit, this is a multi-day event and I thought I’d get one more to wear/mix and match with a black or grey skirt.

    Is this suit ok or does it look cheap?

    I like the color (burgundy) and I feel I’ll be able to wear them as separates later. I have a casual workplace so I never wear suits. Warn me if it isn’t good enough for a visible role like conference chair though?

    • suit advice :

      I think it’ll depend heavily on what the fabric is like in person and how it fits you, but from the picture, I think it looks (i) great and (ii) not at all cheap.

    • This depends on the conventions in your field. In my social science field, women never where full colored suits. A black skirt with a colored jacket is common or an all black or grey suit.

      • Ugh…sorry for the typos. It’s late, and I’m tired.

        Also, could you mix and match the colored suit separates?

  17. I really love this suit and want an excuse not to buy it. Has anyone purchased LK Bennett suiting before?

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