Coffee Break: Navy Leather Belt
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Navy belts can be hard to find, but I really like this one from Talbots.
Now, of course, you don't have to wear a navy belt with navy pants — the general rule I've always heard is to match your belt to your shoes. I often think of tan leather as great to wear with navy, but you can obviously wear black with navy also!
(We've also talked about what color tights to wear with navy skirts!)
Still, if you're on the hunt for a navy leather belt it can be tricky to find one. This one from Talbots looks perfect — and I like that the belt buckle is covered in the same leather so it's muted.
The belt is $79.50 at Talbots, and comes in sizes XS-XL and in colors black and brown. You can take 25% off today (discount in bag).
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I’m in a job that is amazing in some ways and frustrating in others.
Amazing: High salary, excellent benefits, remote and extremely flexible. Very lifestyle-friendly hours. Nice people.
Frustrating: Leadership is a mess. Hard to actually accomplish anything real. Feels like a lot of time is wasted on inefficiencies.
How long would you stay somewhere like this? I have been in jobs that are the opposite (real sense of accomplishment and forward momentum, but some combination of low pay/toxic boss/bad culture/bad benefits, and frankly, I was miserable)
Forever. I’d consider the quality of life an accomplishment and otherwise look for a sense of achievement elsewhere.
+1
I laughed out loud…
For what it’s worth, early in my career I stayed in a job like this too long, and it made it harder to move on when I needed to – the company’s bad leadership had given them a poor reputation in the industry, and the constantly changing priorities meant I had fewer concrete accomplishments to point to than I would have at a better run place. Not sure if that’s at play for you, but no job is 100% secure for the rest of your lifetime, unless you’re retiring next week, so that’s a factor to consider as well
This is a valid concern. I stayed too long at a job with terrible management (although one of the problems was that I was doing the work of four people, not that I had too little to do). I didn’t have time for certain important career-enhancing things that the organization considered “extra,” and my external reputation in the field suffered because I had to take the fall for mistakes made at the highest levels of management.
This really happens, have seen people disqualify candidates based on working for an employer with a bad reputation
This exactly. This is my view to a T and the OP’s is my workplace. I make craploads of money, have taken five years of leave at essentially full pay (an additional sixth without pay), I take a couple of months off every year, the clients are wonderful. The work is fascinating. I have incredible training and travel opportunities. I have a very rich pension that allows me to retire at 57 (that is nine years for me and I have a two year old!) and my husband can retire in one year at 47 and both of us can come back after retirement and do the same same job to double dip. I get paid to work out! Yes, the leadership is 40% questionable. There are massive make work projects and inefficiencies. There is a blind rank consciousness. I try to influence what I can and take care of my subordinates and go home and enjoy my awesome life. The work is meaningful nonetheless. Nothing is perfect. I haven’t found an alternative option that allows me anywhere near the quality of life. I am home to make supper for my family every day and we enjoy weeks and weeks of holiday every year and a lot of stability and so many opportunities. It’s a great life.
Indefinitely. But I’m someone who works to live and only cares about my job to the extent that it pays me enough for the lifestyle I want, gives me the benefits I want and allows me enough time to have a life.
+1. My work isn’t saving lives and that’s fine. Bureaucratic nonsense doesn’t bother me if I can clock out on time and get a paycheck. I see my job as a thing I do to fund my “real” life.
Same. Find your psychic fulfillment elsewhere.
+2.
Forever, unless you have concerns about layoffs, etc
Same. And I couldn’t have said it better.
Every job has frustrations. You have to pick the ones you can live with. You’ve listed a lot of things on the amazing list. As far as messy leadership goes, many teams are messy in that way. It’s hard to tell what you’re getting into, tbh.
This. Honestly, it’s a personal choice, and messy leadership may be your deal breaker. But do take the advice of others that (1) your pros are pretty darn significant, and (2) you may find yourself with even MESSIER leadership if you jump.
Leadership can change quickly. And better some mess than actual toxic or truly harmful elsewhere. I’d prioritize immediate comfort barring bad leadership that actually threatens the company’s longevity.
This depends on what else is going on in your life. I have a kindergartener, so I would take great pay + reasonable hours + full remote over career satisfaction. Other people may have different priorities.
I have a similar job.
I’ve been there 6 years and have no plans to leave.
The key is that you can’t get wound up in the absurdity. Do you job well and then shut your laptop and live your life.
If this came with job security, I’d make peace with messy leadership. I don’t have major career aspirations so I am okay with getting paid well to do my job, efficiently or not, in order to support my non-work life.
Do we work for the same company? I’d say that as long as the messy leadership doesn’t result in a hit to the lifestyle hours and job security, stay for at least 2 years.
I’ve been trying to leave my company that sounds similar (changing priorities every quarter, chasing the shiny thing, making up metrics that also change every quarter, etc.) for a year or so now, and the market is terrible.
While I’m annoyed, the reality is that it’s a mindset issue for me, not an actual lifestyle, pay, or job security issue. I’m working on letting the insanity happen around me and just focusing on what I can control amid the chaos.
Make your money and move on.
All the amazing benefits you mention are very important. If you don’t have them, you may live in a state of dread. The frustrations you mention are very common, especially at large companies (that offer those high salaries and great benefits). I would try to hold those frustrations lightly and remember that no job is perfect. A podcaster I listened to once was talking about moving from being a freelancer (where she had a big sense of pride and accomplishment) to an in-house corporate role. She appreciated the in-house role because she “was paid to breathe.” I think about the phrase sometimes. Yeah, it may be inefficient and not a lot of glory, but you are getting paid for it.
I’m in a field where it’s common to go freelance at some point. I do not think I would thrive in that situation, where it’s 100% all on me at all times.
I didn’t think I would either, but I’ve surprised myself by how much I love it. I think I really needed the motivation of “more work = more money” (not linearly, but at least there’s a correlation, unlike in my prior office jobs). To be fair, I was in higher ed staff, where hard work is REALLY not rewarded, because bonuses and raises don’t really exist. Even in the corporate world I think the connection between more work and more money is more tenuous though.
Funny enough, I’m in higher ed. And believe me, over time the lack of rewards has really gotten to me. The love of the job used to be enough, and it doesn’t feel that way anymore. So you’ve given me some food for thought.
There are pros and cons to everything, to be sure! I do miss the benefits especially that hefty retirement contribution and the ability to just sleepwalk through a week with no consequences when I wasn’t feeling it. But overall I’m a lot happier on my own.
That’s great you found something that makes you happy. I think that’s rare for a lot of people. I used to freelance as a side gig on top of my full-time job, and it was very rewarding to get those extra checks in the mail and emails asking if I was available for projects. That’s another option. Freelance on the side, if you just want to test it out or get more of a sense of accomplishment.
My university had very strict prohibitions on outside work so I basically couldn’t do it as a side gig. It’s a great option for those who can though.
I did sort of build a business by doing some related work for free before I left my full-time job. (I’m in a commission-based industry so my clients don’t pay me directly, otherwise this wouldn’t really have worked because it’s hard to start asking people to pay for things you’ve given them for free in the past…)
Money and nice people go a long way.
Forever. To me, the frustrating parts would be what they pay me to put up with, and I’d accept the pay if it’s like you’re describing.
To mirror the other commenters, forever, but with caveats. My last company was like this and I was promoted high enough that the leadership messes became my mess and my job satisfaction plummeted. Those inefficiencies became my whole job and I couldn’t get anything done, but I also had no work life balance because of all of the imagined and unnecessary emergencies. If you’ve got the lifestyle perks, keep your head down and enjoy the benefits and just chalk the rest up to frustrating aspects of corporate America. But be careful in how high you climb there since pretty soon the leadership struggles might start to chip away at your lifestyle.
Probably for a long time, unless I was worried that I wasn’t getting professional development that I needed. If that’s not a huge concern for you, I second what others suggest – find fulfillment outside of work.
Messy leadership I’m okay with; but never getting to accomplish anything/all or most of my effort is wasted would be a huge negative for me and would be a hard sacrifice to make (obviously worth it in some situations, where you truly need the money, flexibility, etc for other priorities in your life)
For me, a job I otherwise liked would be worth ~12 months to figure out if there’s a way I can work with-and-around the leadership to still get stuff actually done. Sometimes there is! But by 12 months, I’d be thinking in terms of “Do I want to trade the money/flexibility for 40 hrs/week of my life that accomplishes little” (and it’s perfectly fine if the answer is yes for you); or start looking – staying at that point “hoping” things change is unlikely to be a good path.
(Also! this is my bugbear so sorry to repeat it so often but…there’s little cost to checking out job listings, have a coffee chat with an old classmate about their company, apply a few places – you don’t have to decide for sure if you want to leave before you start applying!)
It appears that my college-aged daughter is going to be moving back home in the next few weeks, accompanied by a kitten that she acquired last month. I grew up with dogs, but never had any pets as an adult. She’s coming home for some complicated reasons, and I’m totally fine with her bringing the cat that she has fallen in love with, but I feel unprepared.
Cat People! What do I need to know? What do I need to buy? Male cat, short hair, has had all of his shots, is getting microchipped and neutered next week.
Buy a liter box and liter. Scratching post. Food and water bowls. (Mentally prepare for the cat to scratch your furniture or to make other messes such as puking up fur balls etc.)
If you have the budget and space for it, we have a Popur litter box, and it has literally been life changing!
Furniture protectors and a scratching post.
A litter box for every storey in your house.
Give kitty some time to acclimate and feel secure. Start in 1-2 rooms and work up to letting him roam the house.
Food, water fountain, litter box, toys, and scratching posts are the first things I’d recommend. Get a bigger post than the kitten needs. The small ones are notoriously flimsy.
What is she bringing with her in terms of cat stuff? I ask because while you will need a litter box and litter, it is likely she already has those things. And if she does not, I suggest NOT changing litter brands while also moving a freshly neutered kitten to a new location. Find out what kind of litter and food she is currently using and get those.
You will want to keep the kitten confined to a smaller area (bedroom/bathroom for example) until it gets acclimated and learns the new litter box location. Get several scratching posts and pads (get both unless it has already developed a preference) and put them in different places in the house. Keep an eye on it and re-direct when it scratches where it should not (I have had three cats; none of them scratched my furniture habitually). Be sure it has a place that it can see out of a window. Add a few boxes and it will be fine. Kittens do not need a lot of stuff.
I’m having one of my fallopian tubes removed later this week (laparoscopy partial salpingectomy). It’s partially closed due to unexplained scar tissue so they may repair it, if possible, but otherwise they will remove it. I haven’t had any type of surgery since I was a kid so I’m feeling a bit anxious. Any experience with this procedure? What was the recovery like? How soon did you return to work? Thanks in advance!
Laparoscopy involves inflating your torso with air so they can do the surgery. They won’t get all the bubbles out, and as those bubbles slowly work their way through your tissues in the days following the surgery, they will hurt like a MF. Have copious amounts of simethicone on hand for the first few days of your recovery and don’t hesitate to use it.
I had a total hysterectomy via Da Vinci laparoscopy a few years ago and was back to work within a week (that was a little aggressive – two weeks would have been ideal for me). I did all the gentle walking my doctor recommending to facilitate a faster recovery; that was the single thing that helped me the most.
I had both my fallopian tubes removed by choice and it was an easy peasy surgery, I was on a flight 4 days later and leading a conference. The only ‘hard’ part was having an unhelpful partner, if I was alone it would have been so smooth. The surgeon did over inflate my abdomen so I had shoulder pain
Any recs for London hotels that are moderately priced, <$400/night or so? Preferably in or close to the Covent Garden area. I had booked the Waldorf Hilton for around $350 a night but am having second thoughts based on the mediocre reviews online, although I do really like the Waldorf brand in general.
Not a hotel, but we stayed in one of these properties for a week in November and were pleased. (It was the “Fabulous Leiscester Sq 1 BR.”) https://www.hausd.co/spaces
I have struggled over the years with London hotels. The good ones are very expensive but don’t seem quite good enough for the price for me. my London friend told me last time to just book a Premier Inn as that is what all her friends who have moved out of the city do and it was a game changer. It was great. I had zero regrets. Just a generic chain but it was perfect. There is one in Leicester Square.
I feel like the Premier Inn is underrated. I’ve stayed at “nicer “ London hotels that are really grotty. I like the Brixton PI because there are amazing food arcades nearby and it’s an easy Tube to Westminster, but my colleagues side eye the neighbourhood.
A bit more north, but I’ve stayed at Montague on the Garden, and highly recommend!
I just stayed at The Academy very near the British Museum and near a cute row of dent little restaurants. Fairly near to everything. Cute and felt boutique-y compared to Premier Inn.
Do you think there is an AI investment bubble (like the dot com bubble), and do you think it will pop? A lot of people at my company are skeptical of AI and mention the AI bubble now and then. I asked two financial planners what they think about an AI bubble, and they didn’t even understand what I meant at first. They did not believe in an AI bubble was a concern.
Yes. I didn’t know any financial planners at the time of the dot com bubble, but I definitely remember there were financial planners who foresaw the mortgage crisis and other who did not. I think it’s just like that right now.
Goodness, I hope you’re not taking investment advice from either of those planners then!
For what it’s worth, you don’t even have to be “skeptical of AI” to be concerned about an investment bubble, and the dotcom bubble is a great analogy. “The internet” was a real, transformative technology that grew an immense amount of wealth. And at the same time, in the frothy days of 2001, a lot of money was poured into dumb ideas at ridiculous valuations. There are A. Lot. of start-ups right now that are 2 college kids with a chatgpt API key and no actual business model burning through VC cash (story of every major tech innovation of the last 50 years though)
Yes, the valuations are absurdly high and there are legitimate analyses by real-world economists pointing out that uptake, output, everything that would be required to actually achieve those numbers is absurdly more than the world we live in is capable of generating. There are literally not enough dollars or people on the planet to get to those levels.
It’s a bubble, it will pop.
Yup, like the telecom bubble but on steroids. I pulled out of the market before the dot com bust and pulled out again due to this bubble.
You should look up the S&P 493 graph from a few months ago. Definitely a bubble.
Ugh, I had a client lunch today that was lovely, but included a bunch of raw onions (client ordered for the group – it was at their family restaurant). My stomach is not settling well, and I just feel like the smell is coming out of my pores/I’m feeling super bloated and gassy.
I know I smell of raw onions (my sweet and kind and honest coworker confirmed), and I have to go to a Board meeting in an hour where I will be sitting in close proximity to my colleagues. I have time to go home and change/brush teeth, but is there anything else I can do to quell the smell? It feels like it’s half my stomach/bloat, and half like on my hands/breath. Honestly, I feel like my stomach is going to be gassy for most of the meeting, and I’m kind of at a loss. Anything else to eat to settle it?
I’m so sorry! This hasn’t happened to me with onions, but I’ve absolutely had to leave work to go home after eating too much roasted garlic the night before (and I had even showered that morning, but it was seeping through the pores, like you are experiencing.)
Chew some mint gum.
Chew some Tums, swish with something citrusy to cut the immediate taste of it, brush your teeth and tongue, and find some cinnamon mints to take with you.
Pepto Bismal, pronto.
Rub something stainless steel for your hands – office kitchen sink?
Tums / Pepcid for the stomach. Take a quick body shower if you can to get rid of the existing sweat. Be sure to brush your tongue in addition to your teeth.
Love my Talbots leather belts.
I am a relatively new supervisor (<2 years) of an administrative employee (""Jane"). Government job. We generally get along great but then things like this happen. Do I address it or just ignore it and move on? We are both in our mid-30s.
Jane puts together a form-type document for department employees to complete when they want to request a certain service from Jane. She asked for me to review it in Word. I didn't nitpick language but commented things like "Consider adding XYZ to contextualize this question" or "be sure to link back to the resources pages so people understand where this fits in the process." On one question I commented "What does this mean?" and then provided two examples of how it could be interpreted ("Is it asking X, or is it asking Y?"). To that question, Jane replies (in comment) "It's a literal question, the context is in the following question." And to the question suggesting linking back to the resources page, she replied "not necessary, this document is linked there so that is how they found this."
I was put off by these responses, since my suggestions were reasonable, and they were somewhat rude/dismissive of my feedback. Thoughts?
My direct report is like this. It doesn’t bother me and if I have to direct her to change language (if it’s outward facing), I will. Otherwise I let her proceed as she will and get the blowback that comes.
Just because you made the recommendation doesn’t mean it’s inherently correct. The examples you gave all sound more like a difference of opinion versus clear correction. I’d much rather have a report who takes ownership and reasons than one who blindly makes every change. Let her “own” this and experience the results of the judgment made (barring any impact of significant risk). If you micro manage you’ll be frustrated with having to always micromanage instead of having someone under you that you can trust will make a reasonable call. I like to walk through potential risks but then let them own the decision on small things so you’re teaching “thought process” versus agreement and you have a better sounding board for the big things or day to day calls that have to be made in your absence.
If you feel strongly about a suggestion then you need to use your words better – “this question will confuse people because they’re answering without seeing the context. Please put the context first.”
As it stands, eh, Jane will suffer her own consequences of a bad form. Let her take ownership, as suggested.
I was waiting for some actual drama. Don’t make Jane be extra nice in comments. You offered suggestions, she responded, let her do her job.
PS I say this as an SVP who’s managed people for decades.
Sounds like you’re making it more complicated than it needs to be. As far as feedback, be more direct. Asking her to contextualize things doesn’t give clear direction. Be very specific or let it go.
Bigger picture: the skill I want my reports to have isn’t necessarily wording things the way I would word them, but running rapid “experiments”, continually monitoring whether the things they do/launch actually work, and adapting as needed.
If this were a high stakes board presentation, maybe I do need to just tell someone to change the wording. But for an internal form, I’d restrain that impulse, and want to prompt for things like: “This is a great idea to try – thanks for putting it together. In a month, how will you evaluate whether it’s solving XYZ problem?” or “Are you planning on launching this all at once, or does a pilot make sense?”, or even just “Thanks for putting this together – do you feel ready to launch?” and wait and see what they say. People saying “Yep! I ran it by the last 3 people who asked me for a project, and we compared it to our current process, and they all said it would work for them going forward” is a way better end-game than my team’s “ready for launch?” plan just being “ask the boss to sign off”
FWIW, I think saying “it’s a literal question” is needlessly bitchy.
And?
I agree. I felt like I had defensive impulses like this when I was fresh out of college. Being a professional means you take feedback in stride and understand you need to be flexible. There’s more than one right way to do things, but if your boss wants it done a certain way, just do it, or respond in a way that isn’t defensive. Any professional document is usually a team effort and requires some level of revision. Going forward, I would be more direct in your feedback and ask her to change it, rather than posing it as a question. I would also pick my battles, knowing she’s huffy about things.
It sounds like Jane is just direct. Hard to say whether “It’s a literal question” is sarcastic or simply a direct answer without context, but it really just sounds like she’s being direct and concise, which is appropriate generally but especially in comments.
Mmm it’s hard to know without a lot more information about Jane’s overall seniority, but for most mid career professionals, the exact wording of an internal form is something I’d expect them to just go ahead and do, and not need my sign off on, even if I would have worded it differently. And I’d be annoyed if my boss was asking for a bunch of changes with the kind of examples you are giving.
And the response to “Consider doing …” is inherently confusing wording! If you do have a real need to sign off on this form, and you need the linkback, say that. Otherwise- sounds like she considered it, and doesn’t think it’s necessary. (and presumably thinks there’s a downside; like putting too many details in a form can result in people stopping reading the questions at all, because it looks overwhelming).