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Tuesday’s Workwear Report: The Moreland Jacket – OrigamiTech

The Personal Shopper (TPS) |

A Black or biracial woman with short hair wearing a white shirt under a olive-colored blazer and jeans

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

OK, I’ll admit it, I’m fully intrigued by a fabric that professes that it is sufficiently wrinkle resistant that it can be “folded up into a compact shape” for packing purposes.

In the last two years, my work travel has been substantially curtailed, but in my past life, I would have loved to be able to shove a blazer into my suitcase without having to deal with the repercussions.

This olive color would look great with a variety of neutrals, but if you’re looking to make a full suit, there’s also a matching skirt.

The blazer is $295 at M.M.LaFleur and comes in sizes 0P–18.

This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Workwear sales of note for 6.02.23:

  • Nordstrom – The Half-Yearly Sale has started! See our thoughts here.
  • Ann Taylor – $50 off $150; $100 off $250+; extra 30% off all sale styles
  • Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 25% off purchase
  • Boden – Sale, up to 50% off
  • Cole Haan – Up to 50% off select styles; extra 20% off sandals & sneakers
  • Eloquii – 60% off all tops
  • Express – 30% off all dresses, tops, shorts & more; extra 50% off clearance
  • H&M – Up to 60% off online and in-store.
  • J.Crew – Up to 50% off “dressed up” styles (lots of cute dresses!); extra 50% off select sale
  • J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything; 60% off 100s of summer faves; extra 60% off clearance
  • J.McLaughlin – The Sale Event: extra 30% off
  • Loft – 40% off tops; 30% off full-price styles
  • Sephora – Up to 50% off select beauty.
  • Shopbop – Up to 60% off sale
  • Sue Sartor – Lots of cute dresses on sale!
  • Talbots – 25-40% off select styles

Other noteworthy sales:

  • CB2.com – Up to 40% off; pop-up sale up to 30% off
  • Joss & Main – Up to 60% off, plus an extra 20% off with code
  • Tuft & Needle – Save up to $775 on mattresses (Reader-favorite brand; Kat really likes hers!)
  • West Elm – Up to 25% off in-stock furniture; up to 60% off clearance

This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.

Workwear sales of note for 6.02.23:

  • Nordstrom – The Half-Yearly Sale has started! See our thoughts here.
  • Ann Taylor – $50 off $150; $100 off $250+; extra 30% off all sale styles
  • Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 25% off purchase
  • Boden – Sale, up to 50% off
  • Cole Haan – Up to 50% off select styles; extra 20% off sandals & sneakers
  • Eloquii – 60% off all tops
  • Express – 30% off all dresses, tops, shorts & more; extra 50% off clearance
  • H&M – Up to 60% off online and in-store.
  • J.Crew – Up to 50% off “dressed up” styles (lots of cute dresses!); extra 50% off select sale
  • J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything; 60% off 100s of summer faves; extra 60% off clearance
  • J.McLaughlin – The Sale Event: extra 30% off
  • Loft – 40% off tops; 30% off full-price styles
  • Sephora – Up to 50% off select beauty.
  • Shopbop – Up to 60% off sale
  • Sue Sartor – Lots of cute dresses on sale!
  • Talbots – 25-40% off select styles

Other noteworthy sales:

  • CB2.com – Up to 40% off; pop-up sale up to 30% off
  • Joss & Main – Up to 60% off, plus an extra 20% off with code
  • Tuft & Needle – Save up to $775 on mattresses (Reader-favorite brand; Kat really likes hers!)
  • West Elm – Up to 25% off in-stock furniture; up to 60% off clearance

Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

About Elizabeth

Elizabeth is a 30-something lawyer living on the East Coast. She spent seven years as a Biglaw associate in NYC, three years as a partner at a medium-sized firm, and is now in-house counsel for a large company. She loves Diet Coke, '90s sitcoms, and dresses with pockets.

Comments

  1. Anon

    Help me help my parents plan a trip!

    My mid-60s, vaxxed and boosted parents are extremely COVID cautious. they’re starting to think about their first trip since before the pandemic.

    They want to go somewhere in Florida because it’s a quick flight. They do not want any location that’s popular with spring breakers. They want a beach and restaurants they can walk to so they don’t have to rent a car. Ideally somewhere politically liberal. 3-5 days.

    Any recommendations? I don’t know Florida beyond Miami, which I know they would not want.

    • Cat

      Naples. Fly into Ft Myers then it’s about a 40 min drive. (In-laws have a home there and we spent several months of 2020 “house sitting” which was amazing – Covid caution was very good on the coast thanks to the “educated, well to do retiree” population). Inn on Fifth is walking distance to the beach (though not beachfront) and all the central dining. The Ritz is beautiful and I’m sure has a car service as needed.

      Now, given where we are in the pandemic, of course everything is open and restaurants and bars, etc, are full – but outdoor dining (or restaurant takeout) is easy to come by in the area, if that’s their preference as it is ours!

    • Anon

      I second Naples. If they stay near the downtown close to 5th Ave, they can walk to shops, restaurants and the beach.

      • Anonymous

        Marco/Naples will probably be more Covid cautious than Amelia. And I don’t know how Covid cautious it will be (probably not much as it’s in the panhandle), but Seaside would be good for not having to drive anywhere once you’re there (I assume they could arrange a shuttle from an airport). Though you didn’t say when they’re going–if it’s soon/winter and they actually want to swim in the water, Naples would be a much better bet. North Florida isn’t actually warm enough for swimming in winter, at least to my Southern blood.

    • Anon

      I don’t think the Destin area is particularly Covid cautious (although I’m not convinced anywhere in Florida is) but they could have a very safe and fun trip there if they stayed at a house right on the beach and basically just spent time outdoors. The beaches are beautiful and there are lots of state parks in the area that have interesting things to see and do. We went during the 2020 winter surge and it felt very safe, and we’re people who took the pandemic very seriously and basically did not do anything indoors until we were vaccinated. I’m happy to drop the link to the house we rented if they’re interested. We loved it and are going back next month.

    • Jules

      I agree with Naples. I was there in October, and it was not nearly as COVID-conscious as where I live in the Midwest – waiters not masked at about half of the restaurants where we ent – but it was not crazy, there are lots of outdoor options and it’s definitely an older crowd. I also agree they should look at the area around 5th Avenue, both hotels and VRBO/Air B&B options. Search for Old Naples.

    • Anonymous

      There are/were good and not too expensive car services between Fort Myers airport and Naples.

    • Anonymous

      They only vacation in places that are politically liberal? That’s a bit odd. It’s only a vacation.

  2. Anon

    Fielding all arguments, pro and against, regarding going to one’s 20 year high school reunion. It’s next Friday in my city and I’m not feeling it — I’m very pregnant so not really doing much anyway, would need to find a babysitter for my other two kids, and there’s no list of people going so I can’t decide if it’s worth the $65 per person for drinks my husband (not an alum) and I won’t drink. I know what the people I care about from our class are up to thanks to Facebook and I think it’s telling that I haven’t reached out to anyone else to see if they’re going. I think I just don’t care but have a smidge of FOMO as it seems like a milestone to me. Anyone have any great arguments either way that will convince me?

    • Cb

      Don’t go, it sounds like you don’t want to. Get a babysitter on Saturday and go out to brunch with your husband instead.

    • Cat

      Eh, I skipped mine. Based on FB alumni group interest, those planning to attend weren’t people I was particularly friendly with (like, no bad blood or anything, just didn’t ever really overlap in classes or clubs so we had a parallel HS existence).

      The people who I would have been interested in catching up with, I’m either still IRL friends with or at least nodding FB acquaintances.

      Based on the pics I saw later from my 10-year, I was validated in my lack of FOMO.

      • Anon

        +1 to all of this. I think reunions are less relevant now with the ability to keep up with people on social media.

    • Anon

      I find them fascinating just to see what random people got up to in their lives. But I imagine my nosiness wouldn’t extend as far as arranging a sitter + paying $130.

      • Anon

        +1 literally if I had nothing else going on and was bored out of my mind, I would go. And that never happens

    • Anonymous

      Oh! I guess my 20th is this year, too. I have not given it a single thought. I keep in touch with the people I care to from high school on social media or in person. If I were already in town, it fit my schedule,
      and was a quick pop-in type thing where I knew people I’d be interested in talking to would be there I’d go. I would be most interested in catching up with old teachers, but my faves aren’t there anymore.

      That does not sound like the case for you!

      FWIW I drunkenly friended my hs crush on FB in college or shortly after. That’s the only person I would be vaguely curious about, but now I know (a) he lives overseas and would not be there and (b) I know through social media what he’s been up to and (c) am well satisfied with my path in life ;)

      • Anokha

        Agreed. My 20th was last year and didn’t happen — but I feel like between social media and Google, I have a pretty good sense of what people are up to.

    • Anon

      I only went because I had a group of friends I wanted to see. It was indeed wonderful seeing them. If you have a similar situation, that’s your argument for. It’s definitely not anything special.

    • Anon

      I went to my 10-year reunion and had a pretty good time, but my best friends from high school were also there, which made a difference. Our class was so apathetic that we didn’t have a 20-year (or a 25-year) reunion, and nothing of value was lost. With social media, it’s not hard to reconnect with/keep in touch with the people you want to keep up with. And I don’t think I’m alone in saying, if I haven’t kept up with someone I’m not that interested in how they’re doing. I would skip it; the last thing I would have wanted to do when I was “very pregnant” was go to a nighttime social event where I couldn’t drink but I would have to wear something that was probably not very comfortable and make awkward small talk with near-strangers.

      • Ellen

        I want to go to my 25th b/c I have become very successful since my 10th, when I was serving subpeenies. It’s still a few year’s off, but Dad wants to show me off to his freinds who’s kids did better then me at the 10th reunion, and now he says he will sell me off as a late bloomer. I did not like the phrase “sell me off” b/c last time he practically offered me up like I was in a harem to these guys whose sons now I am not even impressed with. FOOEY!

    • No Face

      The good thing about a local reunion is that you can set up drinks with specific people you’d like to see if you don’t want to go to the event.

      It sounds like you don’t want to go to the event itself, so just skip.

    • anon

      I’d go, mostly because I firmly believe that there is a real difference between observing what people are up on social media and actually interacting with them in person. We certainly reconnected with people that we liked in high school, were now relatively near each other, but just hadn’t crossed paths with in real life because you know, life happens and its easier to just stay within your existing social circle. Worst case, you leave early, have a baby sitter already and enjoy a quick date with your husband before the baby arrives.

    • Pep

      I agree, if you’re not feeling it don’t go. You can always catch the next one.

      The last formal reunion I went to was my 10th, and my attitude going in was also “I’m in touch with those people I was friends with, why bother.” But a couple of those friends pressured me to go.

      That said, the 10 years that passed changed a lot of people. I had interesting conversations with people that I would NEVER have talked with in high school (they were popular, or jocks, etc. and I was a nerd).

    • anon

      I can think of better ways to spend $200 than to catch up with people I haven’t bothered reaching out to, even via social media, in 20 years.

    • Anonymous

      Most people I knew that went were in unhappy marriages or divorced and hoping to hook up with HS boy/girl friends. I say hard pass. If you really care how someone turned out just google them.

        • Anonymoose

          +1. Went along to the husband’s 10 year reunion purely for this entertainment and was not disappointed. Epic stories that still amuse 20 years later at the subsequent (much more sedate) reunions.

    • Anon

      Reunions make no sense to me. It’s so random to drag yourself back to people you only knew due to compulsory education requirements. If I care what people from HS are doing, I already know.

    • Anon

      I think I read the first two sentences and though omfg why on earth would you go! You’re pregnant and it’s still a pandemic and you can’t drink and you don’t want to! Enjoy a relaxing night at home!!!

    • Anon

      I have never gone to a high school or college reunion and have no FOMO. I agree Facebook makes it totally redundant. I miiiiight go to my 20th college reunion, but only because I’ll have a 9 year old and I think it would be fun for her to see campus.

    • An.On.

      Don’t go. If there’s a group of people you wouldn’t otherwise see that you want to hang out with, make separate plans with them.

    • MND

      If you haven’t reached out to see if anyone’s going yet or don’t organically already know, you don’t actually want to go. You may have some feelings OMO when pictures hit social media, but you can always blame the pregnancy and go to 25 if so inclined.

    • anon

      If you haven’t bought the tickets yet and haven’t secured a babysitter, you don’t really want to go. If it were an event you were excited for, you would’ve made the arrangements by now.

      The answer is always “F*** yeah, or no.” This is a no for you.

    • A

      I work in Advancement and have overseen alumni relations for elementary/secondary schools for the last 11 years of my career, and I’ll offer a different take. When alumni of our school tell me they’re on the fence about going, I always give them reasons to attend — and not just because my team is running the event! I give this advice because I’ve seen some really lovely things happen at reunions. Yes, the internet allows you to know more about peoples’ lives than we were able to find out on our own 20+ years ago, and yes, it’s more fun to see classmates you were close to than those you weren’t. But I’ve found that time is a great humbler and equalizer. People have really hard (or weird, or wonderful, or scary) stuff happen in their lives and as a result many (I’d even say most) of us are quite different than we were back in the day. No teenager is “finished” and you may find that you connect with someone differently now than you did during your HS years.

      I’ve seen this prove out more often the further out the class is from graduating (so I’d say 20+ years). My favorite reunions are 40th+, because by then folks have had enough life experience to realize various blessings and to understand what really gives them joy (I think this could be especially true given then pandemic). I worked a 40th reunion in 2018 where a woman who attended our PreK-12th grade school just for her senior year returned and had an incredible time. She and I are still in touch!

      Now: it sounds like you don’t want to go, and I completely get it. And if you really don’t want to go, don’t! I’m a firm believer in listening to your gut. This is just my two cents/alternate take.

      • Anon

        I mean…I get all this but you do have an ulterior motive: you want alumni to come back and re-engage so then you can cultivate them as donors. If anything, knowing that showing up to the reunion will make me a target for the alumni giving effort would make me less likely to attend.

    • Anon

      I have never gone to any of my high school reunions and I have no regrets about it. I’m 56 so a couple of decade year reunions ahead of you.

    • Winter

      I was on the fence, but went to my 20th a few years ago. It was actually a good time. My core high school group wasn’t going (mostly due to geography), which forced me to mix and mingle a little more than if the besties were there. Nothing wrong with re-establishing unexpected connections.

    • Winter

      I was on the fence, but went to my 20th a few years ago. It was actually a good time. My core high school group wasn’t going (mostly due to geography), which forced me to mix and mingle a little more than if the besties were there. Nothing wrong with re-establishing unexpected connections.
      Go if you like seeing people and talking to them. They don’t have to be your best friends to have a good time hearing their stories.

  3. Best sheets

    Best cotton sheets that don’t pill? Smooth and silky and stay cool? Please recommend.

    • Anonymous

      I really like the cotton sateen sheets from Ralph Lauren. They are really well made.

      • Anon

        I bought cotton Ralph Lauren sheets in 1999 that are still soft and look good. They’re the best sheets I have.

    • NY CPA

      I like Company Store percale sheets. Smooth and silky sheets typically run warm, while percale tends to stay cool better. Have never had any issues with percale pilling.

      • Cat

        +1000, it’s hard to get all 3 of your requirements, but percale generally will be smooth and cool. We switched to the Company Store sheets maybe 2 years ago and they still look brand new.

      • anon

        OP here…thank you NYC CPA and Cat…..I will check out Company Store. What thread count of percale?

    • Anonymous

      I’ve never had trouble with pilling on 100% cotton sheets. Percale is generally slightly rougher, sateen weave more silky. We are happy with our LL Bean percale.

    • Anonymous

      The best cotton sheets are from Red Land Cotton. They are a bit expensive, but they are wonderful.

    • Anonymous

      I’ve had great experience with Lands End sheets. I got a set about 3.5 years ago, use and wash them weekly and they are still going strong.

      • Senior Attorney

        Link doesn’t go right to it, but I have the white-on-white striped 500 thread count ones and they are divine and fit all three of your criteria.

    • Anon

      Pilling is either from a cotton blended with polyester or some other fiber, or if it’s 100% cotton it’s because it’s a less expensive short staple cotton. A staple is a tiny tiny little cotton fiber that is spuninto cotton thread, which is then loomed into fabric. The more tiny little invisible ends that stick up, the less smooth the sheet is and the more likely you are to get pills.

      So you’re not only looking for high thread count sheets (my sweet spot is 800) but you’re also looking for a long staple cotton, Pima or Supima being the longest, and Egyptian being very high as well.

      Armed with those two search terms, you can free yourself of looking for specific brands and find great sheets anywhere. I usually get mine from Amazon by searching 800 thread count + Pima or 800 thread count + Egyptian. I will post a link to the last set I bought.

  4. Jane

    As we move to another state for work, we’re really torn between renting or selling our current house outside of a major east coast City. It was life long dream of mine to own real estate that I could rent for passive income but reading internet horror stories is giving me cold feet. DINK who both grew up poor, came to this country as immigrants and are slowly socking away $ for savings. This is our only house and we would love to buy in our new location. We would definitely be hiring a property management service. Appreciate any thoughts especially from those who have multiple houses and/or rent out.

    • Anonymous

      Sell it. You didn’t buy it as a rental investment and it probably isn’t an ideal one. Renting a single family home is a ton of work, property managers are expensive. It you dream of making money off real estate you should know that it isn’t passive and you should learn a lot about it and purchase properties with rental in mind.

    • Anon

      It’s very common to rent your old home. Don’t let horror stories throw you off – most renters are normal people that don’t intentionally destroy your property. Try it out, if it doesn’t work, sell it then. Generally if you do proper vetting- and your home is in an area that attracts higher quality tenants, your tenants will be fine and you’ll only experience wear and tear. But you have to be in a mindset of approaching this like a side business, not like “I’m renting my former home”. If you can’t do that, then just sell it.

      • Anonymous

        I do this, but “major East coast city” gives me some pause b/c often the LL-tenant laws there can be pro-tenant in a way that scares me as a LL (so I would sell). NJ is generally crazy. DC has a ROFO for tenants. If you want to get your house back or sell it, it can get dicey. The only people I know really doing rentals well are people in Arlington who are gone for govt job details elsewhere that will end eventually and they will wan to return to their house (e.g., State Department, military, etc.). Some others in Northern Virginia. No one in DC. The military / govt people seem to understand what generally works and have some lines in to people moving in as they ship out and good managers / friends to look in on what is actually going on. I’ve never seen it work well elsewhere and this is a decent time to cash out of your equity, which people typically do with same-city moves. Do you legit ever think you’ll be back? The DC-area people know they will be back; otherwise, I’d not hang on to something that’s not a vacation house.

        • anon

          Chiming in to say I think this is one of the major, major perks of working for State. You rent out your house in a basically bubble-proof suburb, meanwhile State covers so much of your relocation costs abroad. $$$

      • Anon

        I agree with anon at 9:24. I rent out the house I owned prior to marriage, and it has gone fairly smoothly for the last three years. My tenants are responsible and pay on time, and while they make annoying requests sometimes (ie they couldn’t change the light bulb in a lighting fixture that was a simple screw on and off), it’s mostly been fine. My property manager is not that useful and I am considering getting rid of him and handling myself, but I only live two hours away. On balance, I’m very glad I held on to the house – these last few years especially have been incredible for my equity. I’m also in a very tenant friendly state btw (CA) and that hasn’t been an issue so far at all.

          • Ellen

            Ha Ha! I did. My dad says there is no such thing as a good tenant, and that movie proves it. Dad had a freind from the CIA who he lent his pool house to for 2 months a few years ago, and that guy constantly brought women over and he had s-x with them in full view of my mom’s kitchen window for those months. He also brought dirty laundry over with women’s panties for mom to wash. She did not appreciate it b/c there were different women every night. He finally was reassigned out of the country, and mom then had the pool house deep cleaned to get rid of all the gunk on the walls and floors from them. FOOEY!

    • Anon

      I’m one of the last holdover unintentional landlords from the great Recession (or at least it feels that way). In 8 years, I’ve had one set of sucky tenants and even they weren’t horror stories – they paid on time, they just broke every damn thing they touched at a point when I didn’t have a huge amount of spare cash laying around.
      My advice is set aside as much as you think you might need for the biggest repair – say, a new roof- and then pad it a bit more. Make sure the place is in good shape. Set your rent at the low side of market rate and screen hard. Once you have solid tenants who pay on time and are easy on the house, don’t nickel and dime them – you want them to stay. Turning the house over means lost rent and repairs/maintenance that will quickly add up to a net loss.
      I also allow pets – adult dogs of any size and cats (absolutely no puppies/kittens), must be indoor/family pets (no yard dogs), spayed/neutered/vaccinated and have a relationship with a veterinarian. This has widened my pool of applicants and has helped find good, responsible tenants.

    • Anon

      I’d check the numbers. If you bought a while ago it may be worth it, but when I looked at renting my old house it just wasn’t the best financial decision. I made more money putting the proceeds in index funds.

    • Anonymous

      In this market, I would sell because you’ll get top dollar for it. I know rent is high too, but I imagine property managers are also increasing their fees, so I would expect it to even out or close to. Can you sell and then use the proceeds to invest in a rental closer to you?

    • Anon

      I’ve done both, but caution against a property manager and being a landlord far away. Property managers are very expensive, and you’re going to need to see your own property to make decisions. Unless you’re in a hot rental market, the economics aren’t usually great. Even then, you need to understand the LL/T laws where you are. Given your circumstances, I would sell this place and buy in new state.

      • Anonymous

        This. I’m a 20-year landlord and property owner of multiple homes but I would never do this out of state, even with a property manager.

    • anon for this

      Your success as an investor will depend on the quality of your house, the quality of your renters, and the quality of your property management. What condition is your house in — is it relatively new or is it older and well loved? Are the pipes old and finicky? Are the appliances reliable? Are the windows in good condition? Do the gutters easily clog? These types of questions that you don’t think about much as a homeowner become bigger when a renter complains about them.
      Property managers are expensive on a monthly basis but our experience was also that they marked up repairs or services about 20%, using their in-house guys.
      We rented out our house for 3 years and had terrible luck — most people have much better experiences than we do, so I wouldn’t put you off of it based on one bad story. But in retrospect, the minor things we had lived with as owners became bigger hassles with a renter, and I wish we had just sold and put that money into a nicer house when we moved.

    • Anon

      My favorite, extremely mundane story of a bad tenant I had, a couple in their 60s: they called me (opposite coast) to ask what they should do about a light bulb that had burned out. It was such. a. long. year.

    • anon

      Sell it. In a similar situation, having tenants didn’t cover the cost of owning the house, and the tenants damaged the house and left the yard in terrible shape.

    • Senior Attorney

      I have had good experiences renting out the house I bought before marrying my husband, but I’d hesitate to do it out of state. My husband had a property management service for a rental property and they let it get into terrible shape — and if you’re out of state there’s no way to tell if that’s happening to you.

      If you do decide to do it, I highly recommend having a realtor to screen the tenants for you. I’ve done it and it was well worth the commission. Also, of course don’t do it unless the rent will cover the carrying costs including a reserve for maintenance.

    • Anonymous

      Are you moving to another hot market? If not, I would keep and rent so you can always afford to go back to near your East Coast city. We rented our starter house in a hot market for decades without any trouble. It was in a good public school district so in demand. However, make sure you really screen the tenants and that you really think through the lease provisions you include, so it’s clear you can terminate.

    • Anon

      I would sell unless you are highly motivated to keep it for a particular reason. I presently have two residences, a house and a condo. I am highly motivated to have them and deal with them because I anticipate selling the house and retiring into the condo in just a few years. I don’t have to deal with renter issues, but nevertheless it’s a bit of a headache generally and of course doubles your maintenance issues and costs. Exhibit A: in the past 60 days I have replaced a toilet (condo), replaced a water heater (house), had the HVAC system routine annual cold weather maintenance done (house), am working on replacing or repairing a refrigerator that died this weekend (house), and have put off, as a result of all this, replacing the condo fridge which is making weird noises but I probably need to suck it up and start working on it too because of pandemic supply timeline issues. So I may be purchasing two fridges at about the same time. Gah.

    • Anon

      Depends on where your house is. I live in Berkeley CA and I would never become a landlord here (if I had a bad tenant I would never, ever get them out) but I might consider it if I were in, say, Modesto.

    • Nesprin

      Sell. Market is as good as it will ever get, and landlording is not easy long distance.

  5. Go for it

    Oh my this is a beautiful blazer and my color. Talk me out if it! I do not need it having said goodbye to business travel for the foreseeable future.

    • Anon

      I bought it and returned it. It is extremely thin and unlined. For the price, it did not seem to be a very good quality.

    • Anonymous

      This blazer is exactly what I need. I’m going to a conference soon for the first time since 2019. I’m trying to figure out what color blazer to wear with black pants. I’m very fair and can’t wear gray/beige/tan/camel. I tend to wear blues but navy blazer and black pants isn’t great. Charcoal would work but I worry it looks like it’s supposed to be half a suit not separates. An olive color blazer might be the answer!

      • No Face

        I don’t have any specific recommendations, but pieces with both navy and black are great for this. I have some tops with navy and black and they are workhorses.

      • anne-on

        For this price I’d go with something from the Fold in their washable suiting line. I’ve never been impressed with the quality of MMLaFleur for the price, as much as I like the ideas!

    • Washing machine

      I have it and like it. It is thin and unlined but that’s what makes it machine washable, which is magic. It feels more like wearing a button up shirt but looks like a proper jacket. I also have the matching pants & skirt.
      I particularly like it in the summer in NYC – it’s breathable plus super easy to launder on sweaty days- and am looking forward to using it for travel

      • Anonymous

        I’d say the two recent lined jacket purchases were 1) Akris Punto (consignment) and 2) Banana Republic suiting. Otherwise, stuff just isn’t lined. I’m fine with that if I can wash things and in warm / humid weather that is better to me than a lining that may make things non-washable.

        OTOH, in the winter, this is too lightweight. Not that I’m back in the office I’m grateful we’re casual b/c I’m just busting out the LL Bean wool items and lumberjacking it until the spring.

        • Anone

          I refuse to buy expensive jackets that are unlined. love my Veronica Beard, Rachel Roy Collection and Akris Punto jackets. All are lined. I have jackets from Brooks Brothers that are lined, although not all of their jackets are. Also, aren’t a lot of J. Crew jackets are lined?

      • Anonymous

        The unlined is what makes it washable. The lining and interfacing of a normal jacket can’t handle washing.

    • Washing machine

      For those looking for a more traditional blazer in a similar shade, check out Argent. It’s another woman-owned boutique brand. I have several of their blazers and they are excellent quality and functional (all the pockets)! If I didn’t have the featured jacket, I would have picked up their olive suit

  6. Cold feet

    Any recs for warm socks or sock-like slippers? Now that it’s getting colder, I’m finding that my usual fuzzy socks aren’t warm enough. I want something less structured than slippers with a rubber sole.

    The Bombas Sherpa slippers popped up in my feed, had anyone tried those? I think they’re along the lines of what I’m looking for.

      • anne-on

        Love my Glerups, but they are not as fuzzy inside as say the LLbean mocs or the Ugg slippers (which I like!). I find them very warm but breathable.

    • AZCPA

      My favorite are Kyrgies slippers. Definitely a true slipper vs sock, but wool with a soft leather bottom. They get better with age and are so warm, yet my feet never get too hot if I wear them in warmer weather.

    • Sloan Sabbith

      Ugg slippers. Especially the ones that cover the top of your foot. Super warm, hard sole.

  7. anon

    what are you making/buying for thanksgiving dessert? I am not the best at baking so looking for delicious but easy dessert recipes.

  8. emeralds

    Okay, I’m back for more travel stuff! Thanks to everyone who weighed in on my trip to London last week…I did end up canceling because the international travel logistics just seemed like more of a risk/headache than I feel like taking on right now. So, updated plan…Los Angeles? Palm Springs? Elsewhere in Sothern California? I’ve never been before and I’d plan to stay for five-ish days (and would get a car). I like cultural stuff like museums, good food, and would be down for light hikes/outdoorsy stuff/etc. Where would you stay? What would you do?

    • Anonymous

      Since you will have a car, you might want to think about driving east to Joshua Tree.

      • emeralds

        I am not California-literate at all, sorry…would you recommend that as like a day trip thing to hit the highlights of the park, or would I want to stay for a few days?

    • Anonymous

      I grew up in Los Angeles and find driving there terrifying. San Diego driving is less insane.

      • emeralds

        Thanks! I have heard that LA is tough, I’m generally not deeply rattled by difficult driving (have done Boston and various European capitals) but if I don’t need a car for LA, I wouldn’t get one. Just haven’t been before and when I expressed a desire for a car-free North American option last last week, LA/SoCal did not come up so I assumed I’d need one. Is there anything you’d particularly recommend in San Diego?

        • Anonymous

          You definitely need a car.

          I suggested San Diego. It’s small, chill, great weather for Long Beach walks, good food, relaxing. Fantastic zoo and safari park.

        • Anon

          The general recommendation for LA is that you need a car. However, I have visited without a car on a couple father-daughter trips as a teen and college student (my dad doesn’t drive and you have to be 25+ to rent). There is a small subway system and a much more extensive bus system, so if you’re willing to ride the bus you don’t NEED a car. We stayed in Hollywood and went to Beverly Hills, Burbank, Griffith Observatory, Venice Beach, etc. on the bus.

          I lived in the SF Bay Area and I think it’s much easier to navigate LA without a car than the Bay Area. The buses in LA are more reliable and go more places. If you google “LA without a car” you can find some tips. I imagine it’s even easier today with Uber and Lyft.

        • NYCer

          You absolutely need a car anywhere in southern CA. I agree with others that LA traffic is a beast, so I would not plan on lots of cross town drives. In LA, I would personally stay in Santa Monica and confine myself to the westside (Malibu, SM, Brentwood, Pacific Palisades, Venice, possibly Manhattan Beach). The Getty Villa is a nice, easy museum. There are lots of hikes in Pacific Palisades and Brentwood (Will Rogers, Temescal Canyon, Mandeville Canyon fire road). Variety of shopping areas.

          I would also consider doing a couple days in San Diego (as others have suggested ) and a couple days in Laguna Beach. Where to stay depends on budget, but there are some great hotels right on the beach in Laguna. Hiking in Crystal Cove. Balboa Island in Newport Beach would be a good half-day outing.

        • Anon

          You wouldn’t HAVE to get a car in LA. I commuted to work and all over the city for several years without one. But it is worth noting that public transit is less efficient (i.e., trains and buses run less often) than places like Chicago and New York. It sort of depends on what you want to see and its proximity to where you’ll be staying.

          That said, I very much get rattled by difficult driving and my worst experiences have been in Boston, Atlanta, and Chicago, not LA.

        • Winter

          We’ve done L.A. with and without a car. Both work out, with planning. Keep in mind that the city is really spread out. When we went without a car, we relocated hotels a few times. Some time spent in Hollywood, some in Santa Monica, etc so that we’d be close to what we wanted to do. And Uber/Lift could be enough to fill the gaps.

    • SMC - San Diego

      Come to San Diego! (Although we do not have the best museums.) Stay at the coast, go to the Zoo or Safari Park (the former has the advantage of being in Balboa Park which is fun to walk around). Take the ferry to Coronado and visit the beach in front of the Hotel Del Coronado (rent a bike if the weather is nice). Go to La Jolla Cove and have lunch at Piatti or to Del Mar and have lunch at Jakes. Go to Torrey Pines (light hike).

      Where to stay depends on your budget. If you let me know, I can make some suggestions.

      I cannot remember when you are traveling. I like Palm Springs but that depends on the time of year and honestly I think 3 days is plenty (and getting there is a pain). And LA is an amazing place but pick an area and stay there unless spending an hour going 25 miles is your idea of a good time (Pasadena OR Santa Monica/Westside OR Downtown).

      • Senior Attorney

        You absolutely need a car in L.A. And yes — pick an area. I’m in Pasadena and we went to a show in Westwood last weekend and swore “never again” because it took more than an hour to get there and then when we got there, there was no parking. Ugh. The show was great but the hassle wasn’t worth it.

      • SMC - San Diego

        Also – as long as you stay in the core area (downtown, Coronado, La Jolla, Balboa Park) you can get around with Uber for roughly the cost of a rental car + hotel parking but it is better to have a car. The good news is that San Diego actually has rush hour traffic – not 24/7 traffic like LA.

      • emeralds

        I am definitely down for San Diego! I’ll poke around a bit and if I need hotel recommendations, I’ll let you know.

        I will now be planning to go the week before Christmas, so December 18ish to December 22ish.

        Your point about picking a spot in LA is well-taken…I’m definitely not trying to point the pavement so honestly, staying in Santa Monica (if not San Diego??) and strolling on the beach sounds pretty dreamy.

        • Senior Attorney

          I love the Georgian Hotel in Santa Monica. Lots of great restaurants nearby and the Getty Villa is short day trip up the coast in Malibu (make sure to get advance reservations for the Villa).

    • Anonymous

      I enjoyed the Getty museum – traveled from the east coast and met a nephew who works in Shanghai!

  9. Virtual Happy Hour experience kits?

    I’m a member of a professional association (non-profit), and we are planning a New Year’s virtual gala to kick off 2022. The programming team has the idea of providing some sort of experience or goodie to registrants – think cocktail kit, cookies, chocolate etc.

    We would want to order this and have shipping handled by the vendor, as attendees could come from all regions of the US.

    Kicker is, it can’t be expensive. We’re either going to have to charge registrants, or securing this through a sponsor that we have yet to find. We’re thinking $40 per person max.

    Any recommendations for a service you may have used and liked for such a thing?

    • Anon for this

      I attended one where everyone was shipped a box of interesting bitters & fancy c-cktail accessories ahead of time. Bittercube was the brand and omg the bitters were amazing.

      Guests provided their own “main” spirit which kept costs down while feeling festive.

    • Anon

      I’m so over things like this, and I have a “toss the stuff” rule. I know you’re stuck trying to organize so only posting in case you need a chain of “bad idea” comments to support you.

      • anon

        +1

        I wouldn’t pay to attend this. I don’t want or need more stuff, I am over zoom meetings and virtual events, and no amount of cute swag would make me pay $40 for some online event during the holidays. Not to be a naysayer, but I’m involved in several nonprofit professional organizations like you describe but would have literally zero interest in this. I’d donate a few bucks for a scholarship fund or something tangible related to the cause, but I don’t need more junk or events to attend myself.

        • anon

          +1 same. No way I pay for this and honestly am so over Zoom meetings that I would not participate in a non-work one unless there was some absolutely amazing benefit to me. Like can’t get any other way benefit.

          I’m sorry!

        • anon

          +1 A local charity is offering an online event + box like you’re describing and I’m just donating the $50 to them. If it was an in person event, I’d probably attend, but i don’t have the bandwidth for another zoom event.

    • Flavors of Magic

      How about something to go with some entertainment? You could have a virtual magic show as part of the gala program, and each participant would receive a package beforehand (which can include some sweet goodies) that gets used during the show- so they participate in the show and the magic happens in their hands, with the stuff in their package.

      If you are interested in more info on this idea, reach out to info@flavorsofmagic.com

      • Senior Attorney

        I would hate this less than anything else, but… no more virtual galas would be even better.

    • Cat

      FWIW I am barely interested in signing up for free-goodie-virtual-networking at this point. There is no way I would go out of pocket to attend a virtual gala. So whatever you do, keep it under your “can cover it ourselves” budget.

      • Anon

        +1

        I work in the non-profit sector and while there was good uptake on virtual events at the beginning of the pandemic, not anymore. People are sick of it. If you need to fundraise, you can do it through other means besides a “virtual gala.”

    • Anon

      $40 per person max sounds like it would cover a restaurant/takeout gift card. I was a bit disappointed that my partner had a virtual party last week cutting into our evening time, but I was a lot less disappointed when I found out he was getting a gift card for dinner.

      • Anon

        Wait, you are thinking of charging people? The idea of a virtual Zoom party with a cover fee didn’t even compute for me.

        • anon

          One local org I’m familiar with did an “anti-gala” event last year. They basically said, “donate the cost of what you’d normally spend on a ticket coming to our annual gala, and we will NOT make you come to another zoom event!”

          Apparently it was quite popular and raised a ton of money.

          • anon

            I only saw how this played out from social media, but the org did have a date reserved for the anti-gala. They asked that “tickets” be purchased in advance of the date, and on the date itself, “attendees” posted information about the org on social media to raise awareness and increase engagement with the general public (and hopefully solicit more donations). It was brilliant, really.

        • Anon

          Concur, also on non-profit board.

          Our most recent event was supposed to be outdoors in the summer. We thought it would be fine; a lot of people were hesitant to buy tickets because COVID cases were spiking. We “converted to virtual” by having a gourmet heat-and-eat meal and a 20 minute professionally produced video for people to watch at their leisure.

  10. anon

    I desperately need some fleece-lined tights to wear with dresses this winter. Needs to work for someone who is 5’9″ with long legs. So tired of buying tights that have a crotch that barely reaches to mid-thigh; it’s comically bad. Hue tights are long enough but cut way too narrow through the hips. (When I sized up, they were super baggy around the knees and still didn’t fit great through the hips.)

    • Cb

      Seconding this. I’m only 5’7 and am so tired of the tights falling down waddle.

    • Anon

      I’ve heard really good things from friends about Snag tights, particularly their inclusive sizing and am going to try the wool tights soon.

      • Cb

        The Snag tights are such nice quality, but I found them both big (bigger than the size chart suggested) and too short for me. It’s like they made them super stretchy to have them accommodate taller people, but then they are too big in the waist? The wool ones aren’t as bad.

    • Anon

      If you’re wearing boots go footless. I’ve never found actually tall fleece tights and if sizing up doesn’t work you’re out of luck. You could also try maybe cutting the waistband out of the hue tights to get more stretch. Otherwise Spanx can be warm – buy a size or two up in the Assets line at Target.

    • Anon

      I think fleece lined tights look horrible on – they are way too think and bulky. I’d wear regular tights and boots, and if you’re not warm enough then switch to pants. I don’t think you can make that look work otherwise.

        • Anon

          Try Spanx and DKNY, both have wide waist band tops and fit me, I’m 5’10” and a size 12/14.

        • Anon

          JC Penney sells tights in lengths . One of the few places that genuinely sells short, regular, and long in the different size groupings – not some baloney “tall” size that’s just a size B. Mine are all older though so I have no idea if they still do this.

    • Anon

      Loft? I can’t speak to the length, but I like Loft’s fleece lined tights and mine last for years.

    • MagicUnicorn

      I haven’t worn tights since pre-pandemic, but the Target line of Spanx (one size up from the guide on the package so I’m not a sausage) fits my size 14, 31″ inseam with length to spare.

    • Anon

      If it’s warmth or opaqueness you’re after, if you can’t find fleece ones you like, just double up and wear two pair.

  11. Burnt out and bored

    Ladies,

    If you didn’t have to worry about money, had worked about 25y with no breaks apart from vacay and maternity leaves, would you quit if you were utterly fed up, disengaged and demotivated at work..?
    Or would you just cruise? I’ve never been able to do the latter.

    We have plenty socked away, so money isn’t an issue. We’re outside the US so no healthcare issues and costs etc. as our country has world class healthcare and we have planned for that also.

    I’m just…done with work.

    • Anonymous

      Cruise and find something fun outside of work. Cruising is #goals to me right now. I am #slog.

      • NYCer

        +1. But I would probably quit and take 6 months to a year off and then look for a new job to cruise at.

    • anon

      That would be a hard yes.

      I’m incapable of cruising so I would find something else to occupy my time. Volunteering most likely plus increasing focus on my health (personal trainer, taking up running or yoga).

    • pugsnbourbon

      I wouldn’t quit working entirely, but I’d either do something I love that’s low-paid (work at a museum/zoo) or work for a nonprofit I was passionate about. Or do freelance consulting on a sporadic basis.

    • test run

      I would quit, but, BUT – I would think a lot about what the goal is. Do you want to quit for a while and then rejoin the workforce when you’re less burned out? How feasible is that in your industry? What will you do with your time once you’ve done the appropriate amount of just lounging around and getting over your burn out? How confident/comfortable are you with really not bringing in income? My husband often encourages me to do this, but I know myself and I would be an insane anxious wreck about having money going out but not coming in. If you know that you can actually enjoy the time/get what you want out of it, then go for it.

      • Anokha

        This. I don’t know if it’s because I experienced the downturns in the economy in 2001 and 2008 OR because I’m naturally risk-averse OR because I’ve seen how hard it is to get a job in-house — but the idea of quitting without something lined up terrifies me.

    • nuqotw

      Can you ask your employer about a sabbatical / leave of absence for 6 months or whatever seems right? It sounds like you’re not sure whether you’re done with work or with this particular job or just burned out; a sabbatical would be a time/space for you to consider things.

    • Anon

      If money wasn’t an issue I would put in notice today and take 6+ months to rest and recuperate and then decide what to do. If you are that unhappy with work, and don’t need the money, I don’t see any reason to torture yourself. And that includes job searching while still working and suffering burnout. If you decide to work again, you can do it on your own terms.

      • Anokha

        Not OP but in a similar boat. We could easily afford for me to 6+ months off, but not the rest of my life off. And I am terrified that if I quit my job without lining something new up, when I started looking in six months, I wouldn’t be able to find a position commiserate with my own (and would get a lot of side eye about having a gap on my resume.) Mid-level professional, in-house, pharma.

        • anon

          Same boat. If I weren’t concerned about finding a way back in, I’d quit. I’m so tired of the nonsense that accompanies my job. It honestly overshadows the things I actually like about my work. (I’m the early 40s poster from yesterday.)

        • Anon

          For anyone over 50 this is an especially legitimate concern. I have known several women who had to quit in their 50s to care for ailing spouses and parents, and were never able to re-enter the workforce at their previous level of responsibility or income. Sorry to rain on anyone’s parade, but I’ve seen it more than a few times. Ditto with women who quit to start their own business, and either the business failed or they got tired of it and wanted to go back to working for someone else, and now they’re over 50 and they can’t get a job. It’s much easier to stay in and lean out, than leave and try to come back. I think when people see someone over 50 take a six-month sabbatical or otherwise leave steady employment, their minds automatically go toward “this person is already mentally retired.” That’s hard to overcome. I would only do a sabbatical over 50 if I could stay attached to my current job and know I had a job to go back to after the sabbatical was over.

          • Anon

            +1 And I would take a sabbatical at any age only if I had an actual reason or at least a plausible cover story. “I am moving to Costa Rica for 6 months to work at a monkey sanctuary” or “I’m renting a garret in Paris to see if I’ve really got a novel in me”. Bonus points for “I’m giving up social media during the sabbatical” so that no one expects monkey pictures when the real pics would be of you drinking endless cups of tea and wondering what the next chapter of your life looks like.

      • anon

        +1

        I wish I could do this, but that’s not financially feasible for me.

        OP – Take time off, recover, and then re-evaluate!

    • No Face

      Sabbatical without question. Take a break and see if you want to do then. You may love not working, or you may feel refreshed and interested in a new role!

      • Anon

        +1. Just call it a break. I know several people who have done this and come back really refreshed or changed careers.

    • Anon

      Just because you say “we” have plenty socked away…. I wouldn’t quit early if I was counting on my spouse’s money, because the risk of divorce is too high. If you need your spouse’s income or assets for the kind of lifestyle you want to live, I’d stay employed and just cruise. If you have enough in your name only, then by all means quit and do whatever you want to do.

      • hair

        +1

        This.

        Though I envy your better options by living in a country where healthcare is not a variable. You are so, so lucky. Worries about health coverage is what will keep me working until 65 (or whenever I become eligible for Medicare in the US).

        I would never quit if I was reliant on my husband’s income for my security indefinitely.

    • Anon

      Are we talking have enough money to retire early comfortably or can take 3-5 years off work? If you can fully retire early, do it. Otherwise pull back and job search. Take a pay cut to be happy. But quitting entirely is risky and I’m risk averse.

  12. Anonymous

    Arlington / Falls Church people on the orange line:

    If I want to rent a small SF house (one of those little post-war raised ranches, not modernized other than to have central a/c), what should it cost me if it is <1 mile to the metro? I have a dog that barks and don't think that shared walls would work for him or any neighbors. Plus, it's nice to have one door to the outside with COVID when you have a dog to walk several times a day vs elevators and shared air (and I've learned lately: weed smoke travels and it seems to make my sneezing worse, as does vaping "smoke"/ chemical trails).

    Trying to see if a "visiting" job would be feasible, $-wise.

    • Anonymous

      $3k-3500? I’d poke around on Zillow and see what looks to be in your range. There’s an adorable bungalow in courthouse listed for $2800.

    • govtattymom

      I’m not 100% sure about rental prices, but buying what you are talking about would be over a mil (unless the place is in truly terrible shape). My BIL and SIL live in a small single family home in Arlington about a mile from the metro and their home is valued at $1,053,000. We lived in Alexandria on the metro in a townhome (walking distance from metro, sold for $700,000). For rent, I’m guessing more than $4,000 per month.

      • Anonymous

        Yikes! And DC is not considered a HCOL city like Boston, NYC, SF, etc. How do people who are professors, etc. (or anyone not in BigLaw or with a good trust fund) live in DC or bigger cities? At a certain point, doing the roommate thing doesn’t age well (even if I want it in my Golden Girl years).

        • anon

          DC is considered a HCOL city. It is consistently rated two slots below Boston (11) for cost of living standards.

        • pugsnbourbon

          Eh, I would say DC is a HCOL – not VHCOL like SF or NYC, but pricey. The folks I knew in NOVA either planned to rent apartments/condos forever, buy a small townhome, or buy a single-family home way out (like the southern end of Springfield).

          • Flats Only

            Ha ha ha – the “southern end of Springfield” is not considered far out. It’s 20 minutes to downtown from there, assuming no accidents on 395. “Far out” is anything in Loudon or Prince William counties.

          • pugsnbourbon

            You’re right – I realized that as soon as I hit send. It’s been over a decade since I lived there so my info is old :)

        • Anonymous

          It’s crazy to me how quickly rents have skyrocketed over the past ~10 years in HCOL areas. I’m in a MCOL area and I’m still clutching my pearls at paying over $2k.

  13. Looking for parent input on responsible gun ownership

    OK- this one might be long. I’m a Massachusetts girl that married a man that grew up out west, with a family (and extended family) of cattle ranchers. DH is the only son and heir to two separate family ranches out west. He grew up around guns. My grandfather was an exec at a major gun manufacturer.

    Both of us have family heirlooms (eg, the single shot pistol his great grandfather used while driving cattle from Chicago in the mid 1800s, a low serial number antique from my grandfather’s company, etc) that we’ve always known we will own one day, and DH would like to get back into skeet shooting, which requires having a shotgun (which he already technically has, but it is registered to his father, in another state- he’d transfer the license.) We have a bunch of kids.

    We’ve talked about this before and our solution had always been that we’d join a gun club and keep everything there, locked up per all the various regulations, and DH could go shoot clays once in a while and all the guns would be out of the house. DH’s father is nearly 90 and we are now having estate talks, which is forcing the conversation a bit. As it turns out, none of the gun clubs anywhere near us have storage capabilities- this is actually a town/local ordinance. They need to be in the house.

    With that as background, which (if any) of the following options would make you comfortable letting your kids come over (we live in a super liberal town in a super liberal state. DH had to have an hour long interview with the town’s police chief and go through a 6 month process to even get a permit).

    I am not interested in storing guns in the bedroom (safes/cases or not). We are either going to put it all in separate safes (one for guns, one for ammo [shotgun only], different codes, located in different places in the house), or keep the guns themselves in separate locked cases in a cabinet our locked wine cellar (weird connotation but we have the wine cellar locked anyway so figured it would add another layer of security). The humidity in the cellar isn’t great for the guns, but the cases are watertight. I don’t love the idea of a full on gun safe in the house; DH’s family has several and they feel so…much like an arsenal. They are huge and unwieldy and also scream “I have guns inside!!”

    If you have kids and guns (not for protection)– how do you store them? What language works well to tell other families when they ask about it (if you are ever asked)? We’ve already had the “guns are specialized tools and you treat them like the rest of the dangerous tools we have” convo with the kids, which we will continue to reinforce.

    Thanks!

    • Anon

      Get the gun safe. They are meant to be huge and unwieldy so they don’t get stolen.

      • Vicky Austin

        +1. One or two gun safes in separate locations is much less arsenal-ish than several.

    • Diana Barry

      Either is fine w/ me provided that you seem like a responsible parent and the safes are locked. (Super liberal in MA, not experienced with guns but we live in a rural town – I prob wouldn’t ask)

    • Anonymous

      Assuming you could adequately insure them, you could just rent a very small storage unit and document what you are keeping there.

      I live in a big city in a purple state where people may or may not have firearms to the point where I wouldn’t bother to ask. I know the parents of my kids’ friends and in a year they will be old enough to do things like shotgun and rifle at camp so that they will understand safety protocols if they were to encounter one or some horseplay with a gun of any type. With younger kids or a more rural area, I probably would have taken them to a safety class much sooner.

      • anon

        I grew up in a rural area and we had a hunter’s education course as part of health class. Most of the curriculum was about gun safety. Given that the vast majority of people owned guns for hunting, I think this was a smart move!

        • Anonymous

          Agreed.

          Also, handguns + kids seems to be a much bigger risk than long guns + kids. I come from a rural hunting family but grew up in the suburbs (and dad is not a hunter, but all uncles are to the point where they also have hunting dogs) so I took a gun safety class as a grownup largely because I didn’t understand handguns at all.

    • anon

      I say this with kindness, you are overthinking this. As long as the guns are secured (safe or case) and the kids don’t have access, that will suffice. It doesn’t sound like you are getting an arsenal by any means and a hard shell case that you use for shipping guns on the plane should be more than enough to store two guns. Just put the key somewhere else in the house where the kids are not. If people ask, we just say that we have guns but they are all locked up -that’s the end of the conversation, but we also live in an area where our husbands think the solution to any impending weather situation is to buy more ammo.

      • Anonymous

        See, I think that makes sense in many towns but our town is not like your town ;).

    • anon

      I grew up in a home with guns (for hunting purposes). We had separate locked safes for the guns and the ammo. They were located in a room that wasn’t used much. As kids, we knew to never mess with them, and I don’t remember any of us being particularly tempted. I don’t even know where my dad hid the key. I realize this is partially a cultural thing, but I think that you can explain to other parents (if asked) that you strongly believe in safe and responsible gun ownership, these are heirloom items, and here are the precautions you’ve taken to ensure that kids don’t have access to them.

    • Anon

      I think you’re doing everything right and then some.
      I personally would do a gun safe in the basement or someplace out of the way. Individual cases can be carried off in the case of a break-in.

      • Anon

        +1. We have ours in individual cases right now but are getting a gun safe – safety at home is critical but I also don’t want our guns stolen and used in a crime.

    • Anonymous

      I live out west where almost everyone has a gun. We are liberal democrats in a red-leaning suburb. My husband is an avid gun owner and also very serious about gun safety. We store guns and ammo in two separate safes and guns have trigger locks on them. Guns are so common in our state that no one has ever asked about it. I think we all assume that everyone has one. We teach our children to never touch a gun and to tell us immediately if they ever see one anywhere, including at a friend’s house.

    • anon

      I have never once in my life touched a gun, I am very vocal in favor of pretty strict gun control, and generally am “anti-gun”, but the precautions you’re taking sound sufficient to me!

    • Anonymous

      If you have guns you need a gun safe, I’m not sure what the objection is. If your house gets broken into, no one is stealing a gun safe, it’s too damn heavy, but they’re for sure stealing your cases in a cabinet. I also think other parents would feel safer with a gun safe vs cabinet.

    • Anon

      I live in MA and am strongly anti-guns. I would want unloaded guns locked in one place, ammo locked in another place, and ideally I’d strongly prefer you proactively tell me that you own and how you secure them in advance of me learning from my kid that you were a gun owner. It sounds like either of your options would work. If I trusted you enough that I let you drive my kids, and you were clear about your safety practices and my kid never reported seeing a gun at your house, that seems about as secure as it will get.

      • Anonymous

        There is no reason to proactively tell people you own guns before their kids come over. If someone did that, I would assume it meant the guns were like sitting out in the table and hanging over the mantle, not safely locked away. More than 50% of American households have a gun, if you’re that concerned then the onus is on you to ask, not for people to disclose.

    • anon

      Just get a giant heavy gun safe. You’re overthinking this. They even sell those safes at Costco.

      • Anonymous

        Ha- we actually have two available. My reaction to it is that it is very obviously full of guns, which I didnt like. But if the truth is that it is more reassuring, then that’s the easy answer since we stand to inherit two and can take them at any time.

          • anon

            +1 this exactly. I assume you wouldn’t just put the safes in your front entry way haha. No one is going to look at them and think wow crazy gun owner!!

          • Anon

            @Anon 12:49, I’m constantly amazed at the idiot realtors and sellers who put listing photos with glass-fronted, FULL gun cases in living rooms up on Zillow in my city which , not surprisingly has a huge problem with violence resulting from stolen guns.

          • anon

            Wow! That’s not the culture in my state haha. We put our gun safes in closets and basements and tucked away corners, not many guns on display here. Certainly not in the zillow listings.

    • anon

      Not my area of expertise and for (mental) health reasons I can’t have a gun in the house. We have considered what storage would be safe for me/kids. The answer was a gun safe was the best choice, although I decided I just couldn’t live with a firearm. You may be able to get a safe constructed or discreetly installed in a wall. IIRC, you can get bio-locked ones that use your fingerprints.

    • txblue

      gun safe bolted to the foundation. it’s what my parents had when I was growing up too

    • Anon

      My late FIL was a gun dealer with a large personal collection of firearms. When he died, we sold off the majority of the collection but kept a few firearms that had sentimental value to my husband (i.e., he remembered going to the range with his dad and shooting them) or where we were advised that the guns were antique or rare and might go up in value. In addition, both of my grandfathers left their duck-hunting guns to my son, and so we ended up with those firearms as well. We got a gun safe, and everything – guns, the limited amount of ammo we have, holsters, manuals, ownership paperwork, etc. stays in there. It’s a big ol’ honkin’ safe, like the ones you’re probably looking at, with a combination lock. We’ve had the safe for a long time and when we moved to the house we’re in currently, the movers charged extra for moving it and it took an additional hour of moving time just to move the gun safe and get it in place (it’s in a large closet in a spare room of the house). So if anyone wants to try to steal it, good luck to them. The real joke would be, once they cracked the safe most of the guns aren’t even in operable condition or we don’t have ammo for them. Gun safes are perfectly safe (ha) and a great option for keeping guns out of the hands of people who shouldn’t handle them.

    • Anon

      I’d be nervous to have my kids at a house with guns in any circumstances. What would be reassuring to me to hear is if you describe them as antiques and family heirlooms. I.e., ‘we’re not gun nuts’. And to know the ammunition and guns were stored separately.

      Ask me about the time I was looking for an extra towel at an airbnb and a gun was just SITTING OUT ON A CLOSET SHELF.

    • Anon

      Yes to having a gun safe. However, it is not foolproof. Having firearms in the house is a risk factor for suicide. Just because they are locked up doesn’t mean they can’t be accessed. Speaking from experience. And no one was even remotely aware that this would be a possibility.

  14. Anonymous

    Is washable cashmere a thing? I’d like to get DH a pair of cashmere sweatpants for Christmas, but I’m 99% certain he will throw them in the wash (and I don’t want to be the cashmere pants protection squad). I was specifically hoping for cashmere because he’s expressed interest. Recommendations?

    • Anonymous

      Any wool, including cashmere, can generally be washed but you must do it on cold and with a cold rinse, and then air dry. Ideally you put them in a delicate bag and do a cycle with minimal agitation or do it by hand. Heat will shrink/felt wool, especially when combined with soap, agitation, and temperature changes.

      • Anonymous

        +1 all wool can be washed on cold in a machine. Just never put it in the dryer.

        • Anon

          As a knitter I must beg to disagree. I have many semi-felted sweaters to prove that even the gentle machine cycle on cold will felt / shrink some wool. To be perfectly safe, soak the sweater in a bin in cold water with a capful of Euclan. Gently drain the sweater and press as much water out as you can without wringing. (Euclan is no-rinse so you only have to soak it). Lay the sweater on a dry towel and roll it up. I usually step on the roll a few times all across. Then lay the sweater flat to dry.

          It’s a pain in the butt but not difficult.

      • OP

        I should’ve mentioned, he throws everything in the dryer.

        He doesn’t do my laundry ;)

        • pugsnbourbon

          I would not do cashmere, then, unfortunately. I think you’d be more worried about it than you’d want to be.

        • Anon

          We must be married to the same man. And all colors and fabric types are mixed together. He used the “batting .500 is a stellar average” to defend his rate of destruction. Now, he does his own laundry and is forbidden from touching mine. We are both happier.

        • Anon

          You could try the strategy of buying a decent but not horrendously expensive pair of cashmere sweatpants (from Quince or similar), impress upon him the necessity of taking care of them properly, and then see what happens. My husband is way more responsive to negative consequences when it comes to changing habits or behaviors, and giving him the info that he then ignores and then reaps the consequences lets him decide whether he really wants something or not. He has changed behavior (specifically about laundry in this case) but it took ruining a couple of his favorite shirts to get him to change his laundry habits.

          Depends on how you feel about a gift from you being ruined, though. We each do our own laundry and if he ruins his own stuff, it’s just a shrug and a “I warned you” from me.

        • Dryer?

          Would it be ridiculous to buy the sweatpants super big, knowing that they’ll end up in the dryer and shrink?

    • Anonymous

      How about buying the sweatpants and a sweater wash kit from the Laundress?

    • Curious

      We wash and dry the washable tech cashmere from Mack Weldon, but I can’t speak to the availability of sweatpants in the material.

  15. Emma

    Possibly a weird holiday decor question. As part of our compromise Jewish/non-practicing Catholic who likes Christmas (that’s me) household, the deal is to decorate the house and to have a tree with Hanukah-inspired ornaments. We have lots of blue, silver and gold ornaments, appropriate “Chrismukah” stockings and a menorah, but one specific request from DH was a Star of David tree topper and… I can’t find any anywhere, except a huge shiny one on Amazon for $250, which seems excessive. Does anyone have any ideas for this?

  16. Anonymous

    Serious question: how do you style sweatpants? A sweater seems to nice/formal. A sweatshirt? Some sort of layering? I cannot figure out something that is not totally sloppy vs a cool-kid hygge look. Maybe one item should always be black? Zipped hoodie unzipped? Circle cardigan? If the top layer is too big, I almost want leggings on the bottom vs sweats.

    Seriously, this will drive me back to suits.

    • Emma

      I mean, I wear sweatpants and sweaters all the time, mostly for WFH where my top half needs to be presentable on video calls but anything goes on the bottom. I wouldn’t wear sweatpants and a hoodie except to walk the dog or lounge around my house – I don’t consider it a going out look.

    • anonymous

      Are you talking about jogger style pants? I have no idea how to style them and they don’t work for my body type so I don’t wear them. I wear leggings instead.

    • Clara

      Sweatpants to leave the house in? Go towards joggers more than sweat pants, and either a fitted or cropped top / sweatshirt.

    • Anonymous

      Actual sweatpants? With a ratty old sweatshirt, fuzzy socks, unwashed hair, a giant cup of coffee, a book, and a dog.

      Cute joggers? With a slouchy sweater or a jean jacket and fashion sneakers.

      • PolyD

        The blogger Jolynne Shane wears joggers a lot. She might have some ideas for you.

        I wore non-sweat joggers in warmer weather (made of cotton poplin or linen). I just treated them like jeans, that level of casual. I wore t- shirts or even nicer sleeveless tops if I wanted to be a little “fancy.” Mostly sandals for shoes, or nicer, non- athletic sneakers (which is a me thing – I don’t love wearing athletic shoes for regular wear).

    • Wheels

      Sweater, denim jacket and sneakers.
      Turtleneck, puffer and suede booties.

      Use Pinterest for styling ideas.

  17. Paint

    Help me pick green paint for my small home office:
    SW Acacia Haze
    F&B Calke Green
    F&B Lichen
    F&B Breakfast Room Green

    • Anon

      Lovely options!! I love the Calke Green, and from the images online it would by my first choice. However, I could see it being too dark in a small room, and if you find that’s the case in yours, Breakfast Room Green would be my second choice.

        • Anon

          Sulking Room Pink. I want a sulking room. I’m actually not much of a sulker, but think it would be nice to have a room to retire to when I’m feeling out of sorts.

    • anne-on

      My son’s room is Calke green and our formal living room is Duck green. I love the look of the calke green if you’re looking for a very true olive-y green. It goes wonderfully with midcentury modern furniture or mid-toned woods. Duck green is my personal favorite but I adore British racing green and this is the closest I found in house paint.

  18. Seamless socks?

    The seams at the toe of socks always seem to cause discomfort and sometimes blisters on my pinky toes. Does anyone have recommendation for socks for under office pants that are really, really smooth in the toe area? Interested in both short socks and knee highs.

    • Anonymous

      I use toe socks for almost everything, since I always get blisters. It really helps with the blisters, but I have to admit I use the casual socks instead of trying to find taller office socks.

    • Anon

      A few of my socks I wear inside out and have closely trimmed the seam near the pinkie. Gold Toes usually have smoother ends. I admire people with narrow feet.

    • Anon

      Bombas. Not only do they sell footie socks that don’t slide down in your shoe, they also sell calf length and knee high socks in solid colors.

  19. Anonymous

    Can I nuisance bill doctors who cancel an appointment without 24 hours notice? And then say that they don’t have availability again until January? I feel that if we get penalized for no-shows or short cancellations, it has to go both ways.

    • Anon

      I REALLY want to bill CVS for canceling by text my Covid booster shot less than 8 hours ahead for a Friday late day appointment I booked weeks in advance so I wouldn’t miss work. In the interim between when I booked and the cancellation, eligibility opened up so those Friday spots filled. Grrrrrr.

      • anon

        That happened to me. I booked both my kids for their first Covid vaccine shots at the same time at CVS and I got an auto text that one appointment was cancelled. I called the pharmacy directly and very nicely asked if there was something I could do and she said, oh, yeah, don’t worry about that, just bring them both in. Apparently the “system” cancels appointments when they get too many, but the people on site don’t necessarily care and may help you out.

    • Anonymous

      Seriously. See also doctors that make you wait more than an hour after your appointment time and threaten to charge you a cancellation fee if you leave. I’m always tempted to send them a bill for my hourly rate. I think the answer is find a new doctor.

    • Anonymous

      Seconded, and I’ll also add doctors who refuse to do telehealth (even though they can bill it at the full price) for no clinical reason and then make me wait for more than an hour in a crowded office without adequate distancing capability.

  20. Horse Crazy

    What should I cook for a dinner party for 8 people in mid-December? One is vegetarian, one doesn’t eat beef, and I don’t eat pork or mushrooms. I would be fine cooking something that I can make a vegetarian version of for that person, like a pasta with no meat or something? I’m a very proficient cook and am fine with doing something a bit fancy/elevated. Bonus points if some or all can be done ahead of time.

    • Anonymous

      Hearty black bean soup with plenty of cheese, served over or with rice or some sort of homemade flatbread (or really excellent naan or pita). Warm, filling, delicious, and good for you.

    • NYCer

      Vegetarian lasagna? Some other sort of baked (meatless) pasta dish? Add a nice salad and bread (and another veggie side if you want) and call it a day.

    • anon

      If you’re feeling ambitious, this recipe for goat cheese enchiladas with red mole sauce from Deborah Madison’s Vegetarian Cooking for Everyone is absolutely delicious–https://veatchonmass.wordpress.com/2006/09/25/goat-cheese-enchiladas-with-corn-and-red-mole/

    • anon

      my husband is a vegetarian and we’ve had fun parties with a mexican theme. Like make your own burrito bowls/tacos. Rice beans, fajita veggies, meat for those who eat it, grilled haloumi, avocado, tortillas, etc. Not sure if you’re looking for a bit fancier vibe, but people have really liked it. And a lot can be done in advance.

    • PolyD

      I can’t remember where I got it from, but I made a mushroom pastitio a few years ago that was very good. For some reason I think it was out of Cooking Light?

    • emeralds

      I’d do a fancy-feeling vegetarian pasta…cacio e pepe, alla norma, orecchiete with pesto (make it wintery with kale and walnuts?).

    • AIMS

      Ina Garten’s Roasted Vegetable Lasagna, an arugula and parm salad, good bread, and maybe some kind of app/other side like roasted asparagus or olive tapenade and crackers.
      The whole thing can be made beforehand, the lasagna is so good even meat eaters will like it but it’s so decadent that you wouldn’t necessarily make it for yourself, and no mushrooms in sight.

    • Anonymous

      A saffron and shrimp risotto? Make the risotto with veggie stock and you can serve it with or without the shrimp? The saffron yellow is so fun.

    • A

      Apps…burrata or fresh mozzarella with tomatoes, olives, rocket. And ham slices on the side for the meat eaters. Bruschetta with multiple toppings.

      Mains….

      Veg lasagne …nceuponachef has a great recipe.
      Pasta salad with plenty of cheese and pine nuts etc for protein. Keep meat toppings separate if you wish.

  21. Anon

    Ridiculous question but here goes: pant-leg creases/intentional crease down the leg in the front. I don’t the look and I usually wash new pants to get these out but this isn’t working lately. So, do I just keep the crease going (and have to maintain it) or try steaming/ironing out the crease. Do other folks struggle with the pant-crease look? I work in a casual office and wear dressy pants by choice but just don’t love the crease.

    • Cat

      most of the time these are designed to be “permanent” (i.e., they treat the fabric at the factory with a goal of freezing in the crease) so you should not buy that type of pants if you don’t want one.

    • Cats

      When they are wet, Match the inseams and hang them up to dry upside down/by the cuffs. Gravity will crease and iron. :)

  22. H13

    Needing some intellectual stimulation. Can anyone recommend an EdX class? Or is Master Class worth it? I usually get the itch fulfilled through professional development but I’m in a job with no budget for it. Other ideas for something I can do one my own that is self-paced? I was actually thinking about trying to relearn geometry or maybe take an art history class but I am open to ideas!

    • Anon

      I liked Masterclass, though I probably didn’t watch enough of them to get my money’s worth. I really liked listening to the ones from authors about writing. Very fascinating! You might also like Skillshare if you want to learn a skill like painting or drawing something like that.

    • Senior Attorney

      I’ve been learning Spanish on Duolingo and loving it. And they have pretty much every language.

    • Anon

      I take it you’re looking for a more formal thing? I manage to satisfy this desire pretty well by reading a lot of nonfiction from the library and listening to nerdy podcasts, but I’m frugal and more inclined to follow my own interests that someone else’s , so I think you’re maybe looking for something different with the structure of a formal class? What are you interested in?

      • H13

        I am a huge reader but can only really fluff before bed. I think something that has some structure to guide me through a course would be helpful. I don’t think I want anything related to my job (so nothing re: management, etc.). I was listening to a podcast the other day and just realized that I don’t have many outlets to engage deeply with materials.

    • Anon

      I’m sure other people are more disciplined than me, but watching online lectures never worked for me. Even if there are online problem sets that I try to work through, I usually end up losing steam and not finishing it. The only way I can really learn something is by enrolling in an actual college class with graded homework, exams and projects that I have to turn in by a specific date. I took intro programming at the local state university a few years ago. It was a little weird being a (super pregnant) 30-something in class with 18 year olds, but I learned the material really well, and I have an official college credit on my transcript, if I ever want to go on and do anything else with the field. It was very worth the ~$1k or whatever it cost.

    • MND

      I took virtual community college continuing ed courses in various art topics over the last year. It’s a nice way to use a new part of my brain. I just purchased a drawing course through Udemy as well with similar goals. If you don’t want to spend money, digging around youtube for topics in your interest may work.

    • Anonymous

      Coursera has some free classes (i think a lot are free if you just want to audit and not have a certificate). I haven’t taken any, so no specific recommendations, but a biology professor I worked for in college teaches a Genetics coursera class (search Mohamed Noor Genetics) and knowing him, it’s probably entertaining/informative.

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