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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
This boucle sweater from Loft looks perfect for a cozy, casual Friday. Pair it with a turtleneck and your comfiest pair of work pants (I’m looking at you, Eileen Fisher stretch crepe pant) for a more relaxed day in the office, or throw it over a sheath dress for something a little more formal.
If black and white isn’t your thing, it also comes in gray/dark gray and white/camel.
The sweater is $52.46 with code, marked down from $75, and it comes in straight sizes XXS–XXL as well as petites (black-and-white only; lucky sizes only).
Sales of note for 9.30.24
- Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 50% off select styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
- Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Fall Cyber Monday sale, 40% off sitewide and $5 shipping
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
Paging Friend with Stage 4 Breast Cancer
I’ve been seeing your posts over the last few days and finally have the chance to weigh in. As to your friend’s long term disability policy, she should be very careful about proceeding on an assumption that the insurer will pay out. In my job, I see appeals from the denials of LTD benefits, and I’m telling you, the fact that your friend’s doctor thinks she should be able to get LTD benefits (much less get them based on the diagnosis) or the fact that your friend is eligible for Social Security benefits or awarded Social Security benefits won’t carry much weight if the insurer decides she hasn’t shown her current condition results in functional restrictions as to her ability to work. And there are a lot of nuances around “own occupation” and “any occupation” periods. A denial may be reviewed under an abuse of discretion standard, depending on the policy and the state, so if she’s denied, it’s really hard to get that decision reversed.
If she’s seriously thinking about quitting work now and that she’ll get LTD benefits, I strongly recommend she consult with a good LTD benefits attorney before doing anything. I cannot tell you how many people I’ve heard say “I paid for the benefits for years through my employer and now the insurance company won’t pay me.” It is really sad, and often their doctors have tried to help them out by filling out forms and such, and constantly unintentionally do the wrong thing or don’t understand what is required by the insurer. I would really hate to see your friend make work-related decisions based in part on an assumption that her insurer is going to pay LTD benefits, or pay them without a fight. She needs to get a copy of her LTD policy and go through it carefully, ideally with a good attorney, before making any decisions or applying.
On a bigger picture level, I’m very sorry that your friend is going through this. My best wishes to her.
Paging Friend with stage 4 cancer
Oops, I meant stage 4 cancer, not necessarily breast cancer.
Anon
I fear this is how it goes. I couldn’t do my job in a coma but since I can do my job remotely and I’m bed, it’s hard to see how my disability policy would ever pay out. I do know one lawyer who is getting paid on his policy and I am sort of shocked actually but would never be optimistic for a lot of office workers.
Good luck to the original Op’s friend.
Anonymous
You would be surprised at the prevalence of cognitive dysfunction that often comes along with chronic or terminal illness. That was what actually led to a successful disability claim for my white-collar Spouse – not the physical disabilities.
Anon
It’s true, but cognitive dysfunction is also often more contestable. They should pay out, but if they’re fighting it it’s easier to fight.
Anonymous
OP here. Thank you. It’s stage 4 lung cancer with significant brain mets and it was the brain mets that made us think getting disability wouldn’t be an issue. She is also having a hard time staying out of the hospital for one thing or the other right now. But all of the comments have given us a lot to think about and I am very appreciative.
Anon
I am a doctor and this post is excellent advice. Sorry, I missed the prior thread.
Investing in an attorney, if you can find a reputable one, is useful. Unfortunately I have also seen multiple patients with poor attorney advice/experience who also made unfortunate decisions at this juncture. It is very depressing and a huge stressor for a struggling patient.
Anon
My friend had a social security attorney. She had a progressive neurological disease and could no longer walk or think straight and she was still continually denied for social security disability until she died from her disease.
Resume
After the resume post yesterday, I’m wondering how many lawyers here have two page resumes. I’ve always been a proponent of a one page version, but as I head into my second decade of practice in house I’m finding it harder to do. Aesthetically, though, having a page and a half just feels wrong. I would have to really grasp at straws to make it fill two pages in a visually pleasing way. Also is anyone using the two column method I’m seeing? Or is this just a fad?
Cat
No to two-column for the attorney resumes I see. Don’t worry about the half-page, which happens a lot when people are 10-15 years out. To make it easy to read, just don’t have a section split across pages.
anon
Legal recruiter here. 1.5 pages is fine at your stage. Definitely don’t do two columns. Have a new section on a new page, don’t break it up between pages.
Anon
I’m still one page but had a deal sheet for examples of transactional work as a senior associate looking to lateral (fwiw, that is hard to do; I recommend jumping sooner or as a partner but not as what is seen as an expensive cost center).
Ekaterin Nile
I began practicing law in 2006 and have a 2-page resume. I’d consider making your resume more readable in terms of font size and white space if you’re at a 1.5 pages, and agreed with the prior poster – don’t have a section break across the pages.
Anon
someone told me you can flow onto a second page after 10 years of practice, and I took that advice. I’m ~18 years out and have had 2 firm + 2 in house jobs. I do write it with the assumption that second page gets a lot less attention, so first page covers in house roles and the name of the more recent form, second page has more law firm stuff (less every time I update since it’s much less relevant to the in house roles I’m considering these days), Court admissions, etc.
i always err on the side of traditional resume format assuming that lawyers are stuck in their ways and conservative.
Anonymous
I’m at 13 years practicing and have no problem with using two pages at this point.
Anonymous
INAL but I’m 40. My resume is about 1.5 pages. If I smushed it all onto one it would miss critical pieces. I don’t bother filling the entire second page because while I could, it’s just extra at that point. I take the space I need to concisely describe my experience in a way that is easy for the reader to ingest.
I regularly review resumes and it’s all about your ability to tell a clear story. Sometimes people really do need 2 pages. If you are on your second or third job, trust me, you can fit it on one. A peer of mine has a full 2 pages and I helped her condense it down to a bit under 1.5. It reads so much better.
Anon
I posted below about one page, but I really agree with this take – if you need a little more room to tell a story, take it. The story aspect is by far the most important part.
Anon
Your resume should be bullet points of a longer story you will tell when you get an interview. It doesn’t need to tell the whole story. I hired 43 people in 6 months – I was not reading multi-page resumes. In fact, I had a viscerally negative reaction to them.
Anonymous
Mine is two pages because as a patent attorney both my legal experience and my engineering experience are relevant to the job.
Anonie
One page, 10+ years of practice. Small margins, small font, and paring it down to only the most critical information. Only a line or two is needed for early law jobs – everyone knows approximately what a junior associate at a law firm does. Likewise only a line or two is needed for college and law school – no one cares at this point what clubs we were president of.
Anon
They shouldn’t be longer than a page no matter how long you’ve been out. You need to be able to edit and tell a story. A resume is a meant as an advertising document to highlight what you need to show for a particular role. It’s not a permanent file or collection of everything you’ve ever done. For lawyers, keep it tight and well edited. I’m a GC, hire a lot, 25+ years of practice and if my resume can be a page, yours can too. I also prefer to see some attempt at formatting in a visually pleasing way since it’s easy to do and much more current. Signals you keep up.
Anon
Disagree that it should never ever be longer than one page. I have FOUR degrees from three schools (JD/LL.M, MBA, ugrad) and I was a DI national champion in undergrad, plus I am licensed in three states. I also had a few other law school bullets/honors. I’d have less than 2/3 of a page to talk about 24 years worth of jobs (at multiple firms/in-house). There’s a time for a one-pager–maybe you stayed at the same place for a long time and don’t have too many things to list. For some people 2 pages makes sense.
Runcible Spoon
I’ve been a practicing attorney for almost 30 years in private practice and government, with multiple degrees (which are all relevant), multiple bar admissions, locally-relevant professional organization memberships, and pertinent pre-law school work history, plus a judicial clerkship (which continues to be relevant). My resume is now 2 pages long, and that is squeezing it all in and leaving a lot out.
anon
Just FYI – resumes are very regional so take anything on corporette with a grain of salt. In Canada, legal resumes are default 2 full pages, even for people straight out of school. They stay at 2 pages in most cases unless someone is very very very experienced. Sometimes there is a separate list of reported decisions. Federal and provincial gov resumes are also default longer.
Nesprin
Lol I’m a mid career scientist and my CV is 12 pages. I use a 1.5- 2 page resume, and read a lot of 1-2 page resumes.
1.5 pages is fine, especially if getting to 2 pages would involve filler or getting to 1 page would leave out key details.
No to 2 columns (especially a dark column on the left), it makes things a lot harder for me to read.
Anon
I’m looking for advice about how to navigate disagreements with a spouse or long term partner about where to live, especially as it relates to living near family or aging parents. Any success stories or words of advice?
My partner and I live in New England. My parents live in the mid-Atlantic, about a seven hour drive or one hour flight away. His parents live in California, which is a six hour flight. We’re both only children. Our parents are aging, with health problems cropping up with increased frequency and severity. My parents are mostly managing OK, and I feel comfortable with the day long drive or quick plane ride to reach them. Partner, on the other hand, is really struggling with the distance between himself and his parents, especially when either parent has a health scare.
Unfortunately, neither of us is keen on moving to the region where the other partner’s parents live. I don’t want to live in California (too expensive, concerns about the long term climate outlook), and partner doesn’t want to live in the mid-Atlantic city where my parents are (too cold and cloudy, limited outdoor recreation). We have considered moving to a city with nonstop flights to both of our parents, but it seems silly to uproot ourselves to an unfamiliar city where we don’t know anyone for this reason. It is highly unlikely that either set of parents would move to our current city to be near us.
We feel stuck. We’d like to work through this for the sake of our relationship, but can’t seem to figure out how. Any suggestions or advice?
Cat
are you sure your parents wouldn’t move? That seems to be the prevailing trend among my acquaintances.
Anon
+1. Both sets of my grandparents ended up moving to their children for the last 10 to 20 years of their lives and I now see this with many of my friends. Luckily my brother still lives in the same city as my parents and they have an excellent network and much better health care options there than they would by me, so it wouldn’t make sense for them to move, but I’m sure they’d consider it otherwise.
Anon
It’s hard if you aren’t an only child – which kid do the parents pick? Especially if both kids have kids of their own.
But yes, as an only child, my parents moved and most of my only child friends’ parents moved.
Anon
Nevermind, I missed that OP is an only child too.
hey it's me
Meh, even parents with multiple kids figure it out. I think they look at the location of where the kids live and factor in cost of living, feasibly of moving there, if there are grandkids they can help with, and also just which kid has a lifestyle that fits with them being a more active part of.
Right off the top of my head I can think of several different families where the parents moved closer to one kid vs. others. I have two sisters and I know exactly which sister my parents would move to be closer to and it’s not me and I’m completely fine with that. They just have a much more similar lifestyles (religion is a huge role in both households while I left the religion I was raised in) and also my sister has kids and I don’t.
Anon
It definitely does happen, but it’s more complicated. I have several friends where parents refused to move because they felt it wouldn’t be fair to their other kid(s). Maybe they were just using it as an excuse, who knows. But only child parents don’t have that excuse ;)
Anon
We did the city with nonstop flights to both, but it’s a city that appealed to us on other grounds as well.
Anonymous
Move your parents. My in laws lived in Dallas forever and there was no way I was moving there. DH is an only child. We had Long Serious Talks with them and told them if they wanted support from us, which we are happy to do, they had to move. They held out until they were mid-70s, then we moved them to an adult community near us in Colorado.
You are both only children. You’ll have to face this sooner or later. From the way you describe things, you are not yet married and don’t have kids. If both of you are set on moving back to where you grew up and where your parents are, then this won’t work for anyone. Where do you live now? Why don’t you want to stay there?
Anon
Since parents are so far apart from each other, I don’t think moving is going to solve much. You’d still have to travel to see one or the other set, and both if you move to the middle (and to some extent, it’s the getting on the plane that’s the hurdle, rather than the length of flight). I’d strongly consider seeing if his parents can move near you…there are downsides, especially if they have strong community connections where they are, but it seems the best option if they are expecting lots of support. Then you can still travel to see your parents since you don’t mind it.
The only other solution I see is throwing money at it to make sure they have ample caregivers for day-to-day support, so you aren’t having to travel for frequent emergencies.
Anonymous
Does your husband want to be in California or is he happy with a compromise of you both being 3 hour flights away instead of a 1 hour and 6 hours flight way? It’s a shame that he is happy to make your life more difficult to make his easier.
The other point is, how old are the parents? If they are in there 80’s it’s likely they won’t have that much time left anyway so why move now? The issue will self resolve in a few years.
Anon
I dunno, I’m not OP but women in my family regularly live to 95+. I think it’s naive to say the situation will resolve itself in a few years. And the last years are typically the hardest and most intensive for caregivers.
Anon
I didn’t read it that he is “happy” to make her life difficult in order to make his easier. That is far too flippant a description of a very difficult and real problem— how to care for aging parents when you don’t live near them. Maybe his parents need more help than hers. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to help your own parents as they age, and navigating that as a couple is hard. Unless they move somewhere that’s exactly halfway between, someone is going to have a more difficult time traveling to their parents, and I doubt anyone is “happy” with that arrangement.
Anonymous
You have to each take each other seriously and make a good faith effort to consider your partner’s position. Neither of you is doing that. You’re both giving nonsense reasons for not wanting to move to the other’s parents. He’s living in New England but the mid Atlantic is too cold? Lack of outdoor activities – I guess sailing, hiking, fishing aren’t good enough? For your part, you can’t nix the entirety of CA because of climate change, particularly when you want to move to an area that may be under water in our lifetime. Cost is certainly a valid concern but requires a lot of research that you don’t seem to have done – what would your salary be, what would cost of living look like overall not just housing. For example, when I lived in SoCal my grocery bill was MUCH lower than on the east coast, and my gas/electric bill was low because you rarely use much heat or AC – significant expenses that might outweigh a difference in property cost. Maybe you’re right and it’s unattainable, but the exercise of crunching numbers would show your husband you’re taking him seriously. You’re both being flippant and dismissive to each other, and that seems like a much more fundamental issue than where you move next.
Anonymous
I think this is a really thoughtful take.
Anon
I think inertia wins in this situation – if you can’t agree on a place you’re both happy about, you stay where you are.
I agree your parents moving to you would be optimal (especially given that you’re only children) but you can’t really force them to do that if they don’t want to.
anon
+1 It’s not ideal, but they definitely don’t have to move and neither do you. It won’t be easy, but relocation is not the sole answer.
Anon
We have 3 sets of parents to deal with and have found they all age and have issues at different rates with different abilities to care for themselves. One set is very independent but moved closer to us anyway, not for care yet but to establish themselves in a new place before they hit that point. One set was barely able to care for themselves and is in assisted living. We take turns going to help them (depends on what’s happening with our respective jobs in the moment) when bigger issues arise but rely on the home to take care of them – they’re across the country from us. The last set is local to us and the easiest so nothing to add from that. Our take is it’s easier if people move to you, and if they don’t want to do that, then they need to be realistic about what you can provide.
Anon
Parents move or don’t expect as much help from you. I’m sorry because my mom refused to move and didn’t have as much company as she would have liked, but she understood the trade off. You just have to communicate openly and honestly with both sets of parents.
anonymous
+1. Parents are adults who can make choices that have tradeoffs. I think if they want to stay where they are, they get less help. If they want more help, they can move.
Anon
There are situations where they need their local community and support network but it’s not enough and they also need help from their kids. It’s very hard on kids to compensate for the loss of an entire community!
Anon
I’m just saying parents are adults and can understand the trade off and decide for themselves.
Anonymous
It’s even harder on adult children to demand that they relocate to provide support in the parents’ own community.
Anon
Agee. Parents don’t get to dictate the terms under which they receive free, loving caregiving from a family member. I sympathize with your partner but I would not let his parents dictate where I live. Your partner seems like he wants you to make the problem go away by moving to be with his parents. This could also be the opportunity to talk to your parents, so they don’t first think about this during failing health.
Seventh Sister
When I’m an old lady, I’m going to do my level best to try and remember *not* to be a huge burden on my children. I’m sure I will be a burden, swanning about in my caftans, complimenting strangers on their babies, and being known in the neighborhood for my cheerful demeanor. But heck no am I expecting them to sacrifice their financial future or happiness so I can die in their childhood home!
Anon
Omg we are going to be the exact same old lady!
I’m already halfway there with the complimenting strangers’ babies part.
Anonymous
Lol. It’s a nice mental picture, but it’s not really the experience of most people who are in the position where they might be burdens on their family. Think more like 24 hour care, combative relatives due to cognitive issues, and repetitive crises that aren’t planned.
Seventh Sister
Jeepers, do I just off myself 10-15 years after I retire?
Anon
I generally think moving away from family is selfish. Expecting elderly people to move away from their community to come live near you is incredibly selfish.
Anon
Or expecting your grown only child to stay fixed where you want them to be is controlling and selfish.
Cat
are you from a culture of multi-generation homes? I’m glad my parents encouraged me to settle where I felt happy, and didn’t insist I live my adulthood according to their preferences.
Anon
+1
I think this is so cultural. In my rural Midwest hometown, very few people left the state for college, and most people really do settle in their hometown or in the big city less than an hour away. It really would be seen as “moving away from your family” if you chose to move several states away. But my parents basically insisted I go to one of the coasts for college, and at my elite private college and my not-as-elite coastal law school, people were from all over the country and world, and they mostly followed job opportunities or romantic partners for their first post-school job. There was no expectation you would stay in a place just because you were born there. That would be seen as super weird.
Anon
Haha ok
Anon
My dad died when I was young so it was just my mom. I went to college and found a career for myself that’s a good fit, but it’s one of those careers that happens in major cities, like lots of careers. She stayed behind in the rural community I grew up in where there would be exactly zero jobs for me. It was her choice. I was and still am in the nearest city, but it wasn’t near enough for me to, say, take her to her appointment every Wednesday. She had to figure this stuff out for herself, because she was an adult with autonomy.
Nudibranch
What a strange response.
Seventh Sister
Honestly, I wouldn’t move unless you both really want to move and you both want to move to the same place.
I think it’s important to be frank with your parents and your in-laws about your ability to drop everything and come to them when there is a health crisis. They need to decide what is important to them. If it’s more important to them to stay in their house than have you at the hospital the day they break their hip, then that’s what’s important to them. If they would rather move to your city when they need full-time nursing care, as opposed to moving there before that happens, then that is the choice they make. My in-laws could move out of their far-flung suburb, purchase a place near us, and see their grandkids every week (or every day). We could drive them places and take them to doctor’s appointments. But they won’t and that’s their choice.
Anon
“It is highly unlikely that either set of parents would move to our current city to be near us.”
That’s the problem right there. Parental units can decide what’s more important to them – and no judgement if that is living where they are, knowing they will have to arrange a lot of their own care.
Senior Attorney
This right here. And the reality is, most likely, that at some point they will be just plain unable to take care of themselves, and then they will have to go into some kind of care facility and you will have to do the best you can to supervise from afar. (After having made an emergency flight to where they are to find said care facility and move them into it.)
Anonymous
There is no reason to feel atuck, just stay where you are. Your parents can choose to move closer to you or can manage on their own with whatever care they need. I know someone who moved to an entirely different country with no plans to return. Parents are going to make it work with the options they have local to them.
Of Counsel
This is a really hard situation and nobody is wrong per se. I do not have a lot to add to what has been said except that one thing to weigh is exactly where people live and what kinds of services are available. Of my six grandparents (including step/adoptive father’s parents) five have passed away. Two needed end of life care that lasted more than a few weeks. One had Alzheimers disease and was in memory care for years and the other lived in a very remote area of California where the services that would have allowed her to remain at home were not really available. (And then she died less than six months after she moved.) The sixth is 94 and lives at home, although one of my uncles moved in with her several years ago when he got divorced, which has worked out well for everyone.
My mom’s parents lived in a small town in the South but were able to access meal delivery and home health services that allowed them to remain at home until the near the end (by which I mean 1-2 weeks). Finding those services was hard and I encourage you to do that research in advance (or at least find a geriatric social worker). But while my mother flew in from San Diego several times a year, it was possible to manage their care remotely.
Also “they should move” is much easier said than done. My parents are deeply enmeshed in their respective communities. They have friends and clubs and activities that would be hard or impossible to replicate elsewhere. I live near my mother and step-father and will not move while they are alive but I cannot imagine suggesting that they should move if I decided to go elsewhere. And my father is even worse as he lives in the same tiny town he was born in- but my sister lives near him so fortunately that is not an issue I have to deal with.
I am sorry.
marise
If you are considering moving your parents, Another thing to consider is whether your town is going to give them good health care, a good retirement community, a place with caregivers at a reasonable cost, etc. Taking care of parents can become a full-time job.
shanananana
Fun Friday Question – what’s the oldest item in your closet that still gets worn? I realized as I was pulling out my fall and winter clothes that I have an LL Bean fleece pullover that I still wear for fall hikes and dog walks at 41 that I bought at 13 for a girl scout hiking trip. 13 year old me smartly bought a sage green color that still fits right into my normal color palette.
go for it
Short black tank dress, bought in 1997! Bought at a garage sale for $1 on a whim.
Anon
I have an Old Navy fleece jacket from 2001 and a Cambridge Dry Goods skirt from 1995 and cowboy boots from 1993. For occasion wear, I have a velvet tank that my mom made me in college that gets worn with kilts or ball skirts in the winter. Apparently I only gain weight below the waist, but I am certainly not my college size.
Cat
Two things from 1996-1997 – my Docs and a simple black waist-length rain jacket from the Gap. Still have but not in regular use are some plain leather Coach purses, which have straps that are too long to be shoulder bags but too short to be crossbody — like they hit where a crossbody would but only straight down. A very 90’s style that is probably actually on trend…. I should dig them out!
Anon
Earlier this week, I pulled on an Eileen Fisher wool jacket that I purchased in 1988. I still like it a lot and my stylish daughter (in her twenties) covets it.
Anon
I have a Patagonia fleece and some Moving Comfort running shorts from the mid 2000s I still wear regularly, and North Face windbreaker from the same time I just had to replace because the pocket deglued in a way that didn’t seem fixable.
In-House Anon
A light yellow, linen button-down blouse from the Limited, c. 1998 (I know I had it junior year of HS). How I’ve managed to keep that shirt stain-free for 25 years, I will never know, but I love it!
No Face
I have a fleece zip up from 2008 that is still going strong! It was massively oversized when I got it and now it fits perfectly. I also have a 2009 from Forever 21 of all places!
I wore a single Jcrew basic tee from 2004-2016. I gave it to a teen who wore it for several more years. I miss getting that level of quality from mall brands!
Anon
Wow, there’s no way I could fit into anything I had at 13! I was a size 0 then and I am decidedly not a size 0 now, lol.
shanananana
Had I been wearing appropriately sized clothing, I would have been a women’s size 6-8 at 13, but it was the 90s so I was horribly self conscious that I was “so big” so everything I bought was oversized to hide my body. So it fits appropriately on my size 12 adult self lol.
Anon
High school swim team hoodie from the 80s.
NYNY
My father’s red & black wool hunting jacket, which he probably got in the late 1950s and I liberated in the mid-80s. It’s pretty beat up, but I love it and wear it several times every winter.
Sybil
So admittedly they don’t all fit anymore, but I still have solid a collection of vintage (as in 60s-70s) clothes that I bought in the late 90s-early 00s. If I can fit into them again I’ll definitely wear them, and if not I’ll just enjoy having them.
Anon
I haven’t worn it yet since I just got it recently, but there’s a wool sweater from my grandfather that was passed down to me. I wasn’t sure how old it was but then I saw a picture of him wearing it on a boat in the late 1940s with his arm around my grandmother.
For things I still have and wear all the time, I have a few items from Patagonia that are literally 30 years old. That brand is the best.
Hootster
Amazing!
Anonymous
Sweatshirt stolen from my brother’s room after he left for college. It was too small for him but fashionably big on me (I was 12-13). It’s looking a little threadbare now but absolutely still gets worn… more fitted than it used to be. :)
Emma
I have a Patagonia ski jacket that my grandmother actually wore in the 80s and that was passed onto me in 2005. It’s bright pink with turquoise fleece, and obviously pretty faded, but honestly it’s going strong and wearing it makes me happy.
Anon
Gap jean jacket from 1992 – made in Hong Kong! I love it so much
Formerly Lilly
Until I gained a bit of weight over the past few years, I was regularly wearing items from my mother’s 1960 trousseau, and from a fancy shopping expedition that relatives took my grandmother on around that same time, as well as outerwear that was purchased for me in 1982 when I went to college. Thus my utter disgust with the quality of clothing these days. There are lines with decent quality of construction, but I can’t get over the thin, clingy fabric that most things are made of now. I mourn the days when mall brands were made of substantial fabric composed of natural fibers.
Anonymous
not mine, but our family still uses my husband’s north face backpack from high school. He graduated high school in 2000. I have the hoodie I got in high school when I got into my college, so that’s, well, 23 years old.
Technically though the oldest item in my closet is my grandmother’s mink coat, which I bust out on occasion. We also have DH’s dad’s LLBean down vest from the 80s.
Anon
My husband has but does not wear his dad’s pilot bomber jacket from WWII.
Senior Attorney
Oh, I have my mom’s mink coat, too! I wear it to Christmas parties!
Lily
I have an old t-shirt I got when I was 8 that I now wear as a sleep shirt or lounging around the house shirt. When I was 8 I wore it as a sleep shirt, too, but it was long enough to be more of a night gown. I know exactly how old I was when I got it because it’s a Greyhound rescue org t-shirt and we got it when we adopted my first dog, a greyhound, on Christmas Eve when I was 8.
Anonymous
St John sweater dress that my mother bought in 1976 to wear to job interviews. Fast forward 20 years or so I started wearing it. It’s a more formal dress and I work in a casual environment so I only wear it once or twice a year (to the theater, most recently). Thank goodness it’s a knit so it fits a range of sizes!
PolyD
I have a leather jacket I bought way back in the mid1990s. I haven’t worn it in decades, but for some reason I hang on to it.
It’s interesting that back then, as a grad student, I could afford a leather jacket. It’s not super high quality, but it is real leather and sturdy enough to last decades. I remember opening a credit card at the store (store has long disappeared, I don’t even remember the name) so I could get a discount to buy the coat.
Nowadays it seems like all anyone sells is pleather, unless you go up in price way beyond what I want to pay now, even with a quite good salary!
Anonymous
Birkenstock boston clogs from 2000 that I got my freshman year of high school.
anon
I have some Target running shorts and track pants that I bought for my gym class freshman year of high school. I still wear them at age 35. Luckily they were the classic blue with white stripe that has aged well.
Anonymous
Cream cable knit sweater that was my Dad’s in the 80’s. It’s oversized on me which I love.
Anonymous
I have a dress I wore to bat mitzvah’s in 1999. I honestly don’t know how I wore it then because I’m 25 pounds heavier than I was in middle school and it fits appropriately now. I guess it was just really big, I was not stylish, haha. It’s a basic red shift dress I’ve gotten so much wear out of. I also have ski clothes from high school and a few coats (including a classic North Face colorblock fleece that was super trendy in 2005 and has come back into style).
GCA
School t-shirt from 1994 – just to sleep in, but it’s so soft and comfortable from decades of wear.
Anon
My size changed too much over the years for this. However, I saved a really pretty dress I was wearing in a photo with my then one year old daughter, and she wore the same dress to my nephew’s wedding not too long ago.
Anon
Such a fun and interesting question to think about. I kept thinking of older and older things in my closet. The two oldest I can think of are a black North Beach Leather jacket that I got for Christmas the year I was 15 back in 1987 and a pair of cowboy boots my mom got in 1984 that I inherited from her when my foot got big enough to wear in 1986 that I still wear today.
Anon
I am 36 and still occasionally (1-2x year) wear a very beautiful silk blouse I got for my 16th birthday at Saks off 5th. About 1/3 of my clothes are from 2018 or earlier, 1/3 before 2021, and 1/3 in the last two years. I rebuy/replenish a few things annually like socks, black and white t shirts, and tank tops. I often am replacing things I already have via eBay and poshmark
anon
Guess sweatshirt from 1994! It was a hand me down from my brother, made in the USA, and it has never ever pilled. Clothes used to be made to last.
Anon
Black linen tank maxi dress from BR circa 1994 that is my go-to for really hot days. I still have and regularly use my Sorel boots from the early ’90s. Those will probably outlive me.
all over anon
A Diesel jeans dress I bought from new in 1991, when I was 16. It is very worn, so I only use it on summer vacations, but it does get used every summer.
And earlier this year, I bought a blazer made in the mid to late 1970’s. So it is new to me, but quite old. Very nice workmanship and fabric.
Anonymous
I love this thread!
I think my oldest is a pair of leather gloves I got at an antique store a few years ago. I think they are 50s or 60s, I can’t remember exactly. I love them and wear them every year in late fall and early spring.
Anonymous
I have my grandmother’s camel coat from the 1950s – still has a few cigaret** burns on it! I also have my dad’s college sweatshirt from the early 1980s that I used to wear all the time. It’s falling apart now but it’s super soft and cozy.
Senior Attorney
I have an awesome pair of cowboy boots my first husband bought me in, say, 1985. I don’t wear them regularly but they still come out to play from time to time. And I have a pair of awesome hiking boots I bought at an LLBean outlet in the late 90s that get worn whenever I have the opportunity. At this point they’ve been to Iceland, Italy, and they just got back from the Canadian Rockies!
Anonymous
I still wear a dress bought for me 1991, and some shoes that go with the dress.
If were counting oldest as in inherited and still worn by me, a few items made around the mid 1930ies, I think.
Items having been in my own closet for the longest time and still worn, would probably be a few outdoorsy items and knitwear from the eighties.
Runcible Spoon
A totally 1980’s oversized cotton knit long black “designer” cardigan that I bought at a chic boutique in college around 38 years ago! I still love it
Runcible Spoon
Oh, and also I just dug out a couple of Bruce Springsteen concert T-shirts from circa 1985 and wore one to a recent Springsteen Tribute Band performance. Bruuuuuuuuuuuuce!
A
Jewellery from 1997!
Anon
Something we haven’t really discussed here yet is that Hamas isn’t “just” holding Israelis hostage (as horrific as that is alone). According to the Guardian last night, 27 U.S. citizens were killed and 14 are missing, 13 French citizens were killed and 17 are missing, 17 British citizens were killed or are missing, and there are many others. This is beyond an international incident – I don’t believe the U.S. has had a hostage situation of this magnitude since Iran.
We could be seeing a major international war in the coming weeks, even if Hamas chooses to release the hostages. I don’t think it will. It would prefer to see hundreds of thousands of dead Palestinians than to release 100+ hostages. I fear for the innocent women and children of Gaza in the grip of these dangerously deluded men. How does this end?
Anon
It is horrifying. Who uses children and the elderly as hostages? Or are they more intended as human shields?
Anon
i do not know. i do not agree with the siege of Gaza by Israel. However, even without the siege, many many people would be dying/displaced from the bombings and to say that Israel cannot bomb Gaza is ludicrous. It has to do something. I have zero military experience so I don’t know what the appropriate (if there even is one) military response should be. I understand that the goal should be to minimize harm to civilians, but given the nuances here, even minimizing as much as possible would still result in a lot of civilian deaths due to the way Hamas operates. It is easy for me to sit over here in my nice home and criticize, but I’m glad I’m not the one making the decisions because I don’t know what the best option is.
Anonymous
This is how I feel and what I struggle with. I do not want a single Palestinian civilian to die. But what is Israel suppose to do after Hamas came in and murdered 1000 people, raping women and children and burning people alive. I want them to minimize civilian deaths as much as possible but how can anyone expect them to do nothing ?
Anonymous
Were children raped? This seems like a careless and inflammatory statement, and it’s not the first time. What did happen was terrible and requires no exaggeration to incite outrage.
Anon
It’s not true. People keep escalating the descriptions of what happened in the Hamas attacks, which is so weird because the video evidence of what did happen is sufficiently compelling. It was clearly a violent terror attack but there’s a lot of misinformation being spread to try to make it seem like it was even worse than it actually was. I won’t speculate on the motivations for that.
Runcible Spoon
No children weren’t raped, at least as far as credible reporting goes, but babies were beheaded. And women were shot to disable them and then raped. It’s a horrific pogrom against Jews because they are Jews.
Anonymous
It’s just a typo – it should’ve said killing children.
Anon
I don’t see how it is so ludicrous to say that Israel should not be bombing people in Gaza… and there’s no “even without the siege” because the reality is that there is a siege. It’s ludicrous to say that Israel should not go after Hamas, but why is bombing the way?
Anon
how can Israel target Hamas without bombing Hamas associated targets in Gaza? a ground strike wouldnt really be much better
Emma
The options are either bombing – more risk of civilian casualties, a lot safer for the israelis – or ground invasion- more targeted, significantly more risk and casualties for their own people. It’s not a choice I would like to make.
Anon
It is hard not to feel afraid that what feels like the safer choice now will sow seeds of future conflict. What would make the future safer? How often is it bombing? I don’t know.
Anon
Because Hamas intentionally hides its weapons and members among the civilian population. There’s a network of underground tunnels, with many of the weapons being stored under mosques, schools, and hospitals. How do you suggest Israel access those places on foot?
Anon
Not that poster but I’m guessing that a targeted assault is also out of the question because of the high risk and complexity of navigating tunnels with an enemy in wait and hostages at risk as well. No military expert here, but I’m guessing that would be a no-go because of the risk of death to the IDF.
Anon
David French’s piece on this was good. He was a military lawyer in Iraq.
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/10/12/opinion/israel-hamas-isis-gaza.html
Betsy
+1 I thought this piece was really worth a read. It was very helpful to understand how the rules of engagement work with a terrorist organization who is all to happy to use civilians as human shields.
Anon
“I’m glad I’m not the one making the decisions because I don’t know what the best option is.” – That might be the wisest statement I have seen anyone make about this entire horror.
Because Hamas set it up this way on purpose to force/lure Israel into steps that derail any efforts at a peaceful solution in the long-term and the negotiations with the Saudi in the short term. (I would have been curious to know what concessions Israel was willing to make for that recognition.)
Anon
Meanwhile people are claiming that right wing Israeli politicians have funded Hamas before because they also want to derail any efforts at peace… I do not know if that is true but if it is, it’s one more reason not to trust any narrative that Hamas is fighting on behalf of oppressed people.
Anon
That’s exactly what Hamas wants. Their priority has never been the well being of Palestinians. Their goal is destroying Israel and killing Israelis, as stated in their charter. Hamas intentionally committed atrocities so horrifying that Israel has no choice but to respond with a ground invasion. Hamas is using Palestinian civilians as human shields like they always have, hiding their members and weapons beneath schools and hospitals. It’s not a war crime for Israel to strike these targets if Hamas is using the location as a military base. But it sure doesn’t look great when you see “Israel bombs school” in the headlines. Hamas is willing to sacrifice thousands of civilian lives and destroy their own cities in order to damage Israel’s global reputation. They want to drag out the destruction and civilian casualties as long as possible to make the world turn against Israel. It’s a no-win situation for Israel.
Anon
And the worst part is, according to the Daily it’s assumed that most of the Hamas leaders are no longer in Gaza themselves. They planned the attacks, knew what would happen in retaliation (in fact, what they wanted to happen) and got the h*ll out of dodge leaving the civilians to take the brunt of their actions. There are no words to describe that level of evil.
Runcible Spoon
Odious war criminals
Anonymous
Palestine and Israel have been fighting forever, my whole lifetime for sure, and they always will. It’s beyond sad and will never end so can we just not rehash on a fashion blog?
Anon
You can collapse the thread. This is a space for all kinds of topics.
Anon
This is not how I feel at all. I feel more like everyone is choosing who their sides in World War III are going to be (I hope that is not where things are heading).
Anon
+1. Some of my earliest memories of watching the news on TV were watching reports about Israel and Palestine. I don’t see a solution to this and I don’t think people repeating the same talking points on a fashion blog over and over is going to change hearts and minds, or change the energy around the situation so that it somehow gets resolved. I think it’s particularly useless when people are trying to use this forum as a place where they can repeatedly, over and over, post the same strident, unsupported opinions and then attempt to shame everyone who doesn’t share them.
At the end of the day – I am sorry for what’s happening over there, but I can’t fix it and I don’t see it changing any time soon. I don’t think anyone here can do anything about it, so the endless conversation about this seems like a complete waste of time. And given global warming, nuclear threats from Russia, etc. I feel like a lot of this is screaming over deck chairs on the Titanic. More petty factionalism that doesn’t mean sh*t if Gaza and Israel are going to be underwater in 10 years. Maybe that’s something people over there could spend some time thinking about: what happens when sea levels rise, and most of the land “from the river to the sea” is 2 feet underwater, and thus can’t be inhabited by anyone?
Runcible Spoon
You have everyone’s permission to just skip reading these topics here. I skip topics I have no interest in reading on this fashion blog all the time. You may do so, too.
Runcible Spoon
You have everyone’s permission to just skip reading these topics here. I skip topics I have no interest in reading on this fashion blog all the time. You may do so, too.
Anon
It doesn’t end. There will never be peace in the Middle East. Things may calm down from time to time but it will always be simmering.
Anon
i just wanted to say thank you to the people who’ve posted on here this week condemning the attacks on Israel as well as the antisemitism in the world. As a Jewish American this week has been incredibly isolating and exhausting, though at the same time I am grateful that at night I get to hug my children and not worry that our home will be bombed tomorrow or being glad that my child is dead rather than kidnapped. Some insight into conversations/thoughts I’ve had this week for anyone who cares:
Monday: my dad shares he is no longer going to NY on Saturday bc the cousin who is supposed to come visit from Israel is no longer coming. She wants to stay in Israel to help her kids with their kids since their spouses are called up. She also doesn’t want to leaver her country at this time.
Tuesday: my kids have dance at the JCC, should I be worried? will my (non) Jewish nanny be ok with taking them? (fortunately she was). my colleague at work – “I’m just trying not to think about it” in reference to what is happening in Israel/Gaza knowing well that I am Jewish and the granddaughter of Holocaust survivors. (me thinking that I know I should be the bigger person, but it’s hard not to feel like you secretly agree with what happened in Israel on Saturday morning and wondering why I messaged you (my black colleague) back in May 2020 after George Floyd was murdered even though I felt incredibly awkward doing so. )
Wednesday: I’m in desperate need of a distraction, so decide we should put out our Halloween decorations. While doing so, my kids talk excitedly about our Chanukah decorations. I don’t say anything, but wonder whether putting out Chanukah decorations is a bad idea. This thought crosses my mind every year, but this year in particular, are we putting a target on our home?
Thursday: I text a friend to confirm our plan to meet up to walk today (Friday). She tells me she might have to cancel because she isn’t sure she is going to send her kids to school tomorrow because there is a threat of a ‘day of rage’ against Jews and Israelis. If she can’t walk, I want to go to the gym. The gym I belong to is at the JCC, should I also not go to the gym tomorrow? I receive an email informing me how many armed guards there are now at my kids’ former preschool/our synagogue. (if you are not Jewish, have you ever thought about the security budget of your kids’ school or place of worship or community center?)
Friday: Friend confirms she isn’t sending her kids to school. I ask DH what he thinks about me going to the gym. He thinks I should go and not let the threats win. I am still unsure. I lost my mom a few years ago due to illness outside of her control and I’d never forgive myself if something happened to me.
Anon
I don’t know you and I’m probably not in your city (and I’m not Jewish), but I am so, so sorry about all this. I wonder, whether there is anything ecumenical that we, especially in the Abrahamic faiths, can do to show solidarity that is meaningful? I saw a man in a kippah yesterday (very unusual in my city, even among people I know to be Jewish) in a meeting at my office and thought that it is very special that he is wearing it here and now. If it matters, I used to live in Asia where there was a Muslim majority but was able to go to church and have Jewish friends from there also (but they moved to the US in the 1980s and likely would not be able to practice their faith today even though they predated Islam in their home area).
Anon
I’m so, so sorry. This has been totally awful for members of the Jewish community. My college best friend is a member of the Tree of Life synagogue in Pittsburgh, home to one of many mass shootings against Jews. They have a constant underlying fear but are not allowed to talk about it or receive understanding for it.
Anon
From The Free Press this week, reporting several major incidents against Jewish students at leading universities:
“On Thursday at Stanford it was reported that an instructor divided his students at a mandatory undergraduate course called “Civil, Liberal and Global Education” into two camps: Jews and non-Jews. The teacher told the Jewish students to gather their things, stand in a corner, and said, “This is what Israel does to the Palestinians.” The teacher then asked, “How many people died in the Holocaust?” When a student said, “Six million,” the teacher replied, “Colonizers killed more than 6 million. Israel is a colonizer.” In a public statement, Stanford revealed multiple students had reported this conduct, and it was now investigating “identity-based targeting of students.”
This is chilling. This is real.
Anonymous
The Free Press is not a reputable source.
anon
Really? Bari Weiss? Really?
Anon
What part of Weiss’s background do you protest – her Columbia education? Her employment at the Wall Street Journal and New York Times? Or perhaps something about her religious beliefs?
Nesprin
Her nonsense reporting on the twitter files.
Anon
It is, actually. Maybe try reading it sometime. It’s quite centrist and reasonable.
Anon
there is a statement about it on Stanford’s own website
Anon
Not to mention everywhere else in the news. But anything to cling to an antisemitic narrative, right?
Anon
Here is the article about it in The Forward:
And before you say The Forward is not a reputable source, a little bit about The Forward: https://forward.com/news/564587/stanford-university-jewish-students-instructor-hamas/
“ Founded in 1897 as a Yiddish-language daily, the Forward soon became a national paper, the most widely read Jewish newspaper anywhere. By the 1920s its circulation outstripped The New York Times. It chronicled the events that affected a population of immigrants eager to earn their place in American life, and published regional editions around the country before any other newspaper.
The English Forward was launched as a weekly in 1990. Its perspective on world and national news, and its unparalleled coverage of Jewish arts culture and opinion have made it the most influential nationwide Jewish media outlet today. More than a million unique visitors turn to forward.com each month for award-winning news, thoughtful commentary, and captivating videos. More than 50,000 subscribers receive e-newsletters that highlight the latest stories and areas of special interest like Arts & Entertainment and Food & Drink.”
Anon
I put the link in the wrong place. Apologies. But all the information about Stanford and about The Forward is there.
AnonAnon
Thanks for your post. My three children’s public school system set out an alert that due to online threats towards the Jewish population, they’d have increased security at the schools and limit movement within the building. It felt intense to send them to school today and to send them to Hebrew school this weekend.
As a Jewish person who has kicked the can down the road somewhat re: having a firm position on Israel/Zionism/the Israel-Palestinian conflict because it always felt so complex to unpack, I’m now feeling like whatever choices Israel makes will reverberate on Jewish people throughout the diaspora regardless of our feelings and beliefs towards Israel. Seeing progressive people I follow on Instagram posting about the massacre being decolonization in action and one’s position on Israel/Palestine as a litmus test that determines one’s morals, one BLM chapter changing their photo to Hamas parachuters and the Palestinian flag and Israel is a white supremacist colonial state-just causing me to sift through a lot of different reactions, feelings and continue to try to unpack the dynamics at play. Are we white? Are we white-adjacent or conditionally white? Are we potentially both the oppressor and the one being oppressed?
So, at the end of the day, regardless of what we believe re: Israel or how religious we are or are not, being Jewish seems to have gotten more dangerous, and many of us in this generation may not have previously experienced this, and are struggling to identify who our allies are, especially if we identify as “progressive.”
Anon
i dont have the answers, but seeing a video of a black man in Philadelphia with a microphone at some kind of rally saying “I salute Hamas for a job well done” and “when I heard the news I smiled” … the double standard is atrocious
Anon
Why does it matter that the man was Black? Why did you specifically mention that fact?
Anon
I’m not the person who made the comment, but I think sometimes there’s a feeling that oppressed minorities are sort of all in it together and should stick together against the white majority, so it hurts more to see a Black person being antisemitic than a white person. I’m not saying it’s rational, but I do understand the impulse.
anon
We’re not Jewish but my kids attend a preschool with a very high Jewish population. They sent an email last night about risks today and we had armed security at dropoff. I know how stressful this feels to me (counting the hours until I can pick them up and bring them home). I cannot imagine how much worse it is for you. I’m so sorry.
Anon
It’s very scary. My office in nyc is closed today because we are right near the diamond district and apparently there are somewhat credible threats of violence there. I still sent my son to Jewish day school today, and will go pick him up at 3, right when some protests are supposed to start in Times Square (15 blocks away, so I guess not that close). I also wanted to go to synagogue tonight but is it a good idea? If Jews can’t even be or feel safe in New York City something is really wrong.
Anon
I posted yesterday that my kids go to a Jewish day school. We had parent fb discussions and texts this morning about whether to send them in. I ended up taking them (with lots of guilt) but will pick up at 3 because they cancelled aftercare. I lost count of how many police officers and cars I saw at drop off today. They limited drop off to one door only. My niece is also in Israel and has been working there for the last few years since graduating college. I pray she can get home to the US. I’m not even sure how to function at work but did appreciate several coworkers asking me about it.
Anon
American women making this all about themselves while the children inside Gaza are being bombed to oblivion.
Anon
So the Day of Rage was intended to be worldwide. If where you kids go to school had armed security before, for a reason, how is that reason not even more relevant after all this?!
Anon
What on earth! Of course she can have her own feelings and experiences of the impact of this horror on her own life. That is not exclusive of mourning for the children of both Gaza and Israel.
Emma
Yeah, this is an incredibly gross comment.
anon
My response was deleted. But the original comment stays. Wow.
Anon
the OP acknowledged that children are being bombed in Gaza
Anonymous
+1
Anon
“Hamas chief Khaled Meshaal has called for a day of global jihad on Friday, and the group’s commander Mahmoud al-Zahar said “the entire planet will be under our law; there will be no more Jews or Christian traitors.”
But sure. Continue with your bad hot take. It would be amusing to the rest of us if it weren’t so terrifying.
anon
This is a personal attack on a Jewish woman. It should be deleted.
Anonymous
+1.
Anon
…because Jews have never been killed for their faith in America. Nothing to worry about here. Never happened. Yup.
Btw, is it okay for me to worry about my children if I add the clarifying statement that if someone attacks their school they might also kill the beloved Muslim music teacher who took my son out of the car at carpool this morning? Do they get to matter then, or still not important enough?
Anon
yes this sounds like the post i saw on LinkedIn complaining that University statements condemning Hamas and and expressing sadness at the violence in both Gaza and Israel are bad because they aren’t also mentioning Muslim students. There should not be hate speech or attacks on Muslim students either, but when writing a statement about what happened over the weekend, that is not relevant right now.
Anonymous
Just no.
Anon
This is gross. I think we’re all smart enough here to acknowledge that two things can be true – we mourn for the innocent children in Gaza and we mourn for the reverberation of this week’s events in our personal lives here in the U.S.
Runcible Spoon
Today was announced to be a WORLD-WIDE Day of Rage, which had a DIRECT EFFECT on millions of people throughout the world. Nevertheless, Anonymous commenter took the time and made the effort to disparage the lived trauma of the OP and judge her according to trauma Olympics standards and assess her to be comparatively lacking in this “competition.” Shame on you.
Anonymous
Hugs to you. I know that’s not enough but that’s all I can think to say. We live in Texas. My twins attend a day care that shares a space with a Synagogue. My husband carefully weighed keeping the twins home today (ex-military). We decided to send them. The school announced there would be one or two police on site all day. I hate that this is the world we live in.
Anon
I’m so so sorry. I’m ethnically Jewish but not religious and we have no personal connection to Israel and our kids are in secular schools, so I know I’m more removed from the situation than many others, but this week has certainly been very eye-opening about how much anti-semitism is out there.
Anon
as another ethnically Jewish person who isn’t religious, this week has really been a not so friendly reminder that anti semitism is alive and well and actually makes me want to infuse more Jewish culture into our home. i’ve decided we will start tonight by lighting Shabbat candles and I’ll be picking up a Challah on the way home from work.
Anon
It’s not that hard to make! We made one for Rosh Hashanah this year (the main way we celebrate holidays is food, lol) and it was surprisingly easy. I think I used the NYT Cooking recipe.
Runcible Spoon
Yes, it’s been quite shocking. A pogrom is inflicted in a surprise sneak attack, slaughtering Jews because they are Jews, and somehow Hamas is the sympathetic victim and Israel had it coming? Shameful.
Anon
Looking for tips on how to pack a blazer in a small carryon. Unfortunately, the blazer is not the most wrinkle resistant fabric. In the past, I’ve used a dry cleaning back and carefully folded the blazer around other clothes. Online, I’m seeing tips on folding the jacket with the lining out. Is that better at warding off wrinkles? should I do both?
Anonymous
Use a dry cleaning bag and fold as little as possbile.
Anonymous
You fold one of the shoulders inside the other, wrong side out (right side to right side). Then you have a half plazer. Fold this carefully around something else, too not squish too much, lay carefully on top. Or get a garment bag.
NYCer
Can you just carry on the blazer not in the suitcase? The flight attendants may be willing to hang it for you, or you can place it on top of the suitcases in the overhead bin.
Anon
+1 Carry it with you
Cat
Best success-
1. keep it right side out. Going inside out only causes weird shoulder warping IMHO
2. fold it in half lengthwise, with the back on the “inside”
3. carefully arrange the sleeves forward on both sides, almost as if your hands were clasped in front of you
4. slide it into a dry cleaning bag (this prevents friction from causing wrinkles) and then wrap around your other clothes — I think this is what you’re saying you’ve done?
OR
4. wrap it around your other clothes and then use a packing cube to keep things from moving around
Nesprin
Pack in your suitcase however it fits, and also pack a small steamer since releasing the wrinkles will be easier than never getting it wrinkled.
Runcible Spoon
Fold it backwards lengthwise, and smooth the sleeves down the sides of the jacket, then fold in have horizontally and slide it into the padded laptop pocket or other similar zippered, slim pocket where it won’t slide around a lot (maybe pad the pocket out a bit with t-shirts or magazines and the like). The volume of items in the main compartment will press against the pocket to keep the jacket rigidly in place. Pull it out, shake it out, and hang it up as soon as possible upon arrival. Good luck!
Anon
I’m a solo practitioner and was just approached about possibly joining another firm. Does anyone have advice for me? I started my own firm a few years ago because of conflicts with the partners at my last office and I don’t really want to set myself up for that to occur again, but having more support and income would be nice.
Anonymous
You’re more likely to do well if you can cross sell your clients on other firm services. If you’ve been referring out a lot of work then absolutely consider joining a firm that has people who could do that work. You’ll get origination credit and you’ll be seen as a producer for more than just yourself. I would not join a firm to be a servicing partner for other people. I would hesitate to join a firm where I could generate business for only myself and maybe one or two associates.
Anon
when luggage is made for a particular store, like Samsonite for Macy’s etc. is that a junkier version of the real thing? we need to purchase an additional suitcase we can check before we travel for Thanksgiving and idk that I really want to spend $500 on a piece of luggage but i also want something taht will last at least 5 years. any recs?
Cat
IME yes. I would highly recommend Travelpro Maxlite as a checked bag – they’re available for $175ish directly from Travelpro and I mentioned this on another thread but ours has been on about a dozen trips so far and has barely a scuff. Wheels and handle both working great and feeling sturdy.
https://travelpro.com/collections/rollaboard-luggage/products/maxlite%C2%AE-5-26-expandable-rollaboard%C2%AE?variant=39949529743458
Anonymous
I know costco versions of luggage are junkier for sure
anon
Generally yes but I’ve also been happy with my Samsonite set that I bought 8 years ago from Costco. I’ve taken the carry-on size, but always checking it in, on average 2 trips a year. It’s still going strong although I can’t say recent ones are made with the same quality or not.
RiskedCredit
Tk Maxx has travelpro suitcases for $100-130 each. They do the job.
Runcible Spoon
Look at Travelpro FlightCrew 24″ checked luggage, here is a link: https://www.mypilotstore.com/mypilotstore/sep/11042
It’s made for flight crew and pilots, and is sturdily constructed, using more rugged components than regular consumer Travelpro lines, and costing just a hair over $200 (plus tax and maybe shipping?). Good luck!
FoundationFollowup
Thank you to everyone who responded to my foundation question Wednesday. I should have specified I wanted “clean” so I don’t go with Dr Jart since it contains talc. I ended up going with Lady Gaga’s line, if you care. I will say the formula is really lovely and sets well. IMO. But I did the color match myself and of course it’s not quite right. Also it doesn’t have spf. I’m so lazy I hate doing moisturizer, then sunscreen then foundation. Also the bottle is enormous. I think it would conservatively take me a year and a half to get through it. So I’ll be returning. I may just peruse the grocery beauty counter for something cheap. Or I may cave at Sephora and try February. Again, appreciate the recs!
Anon
I’m thinking of trying the Lady Gaga foundation but definitely want to go to the store to be color matched.
Anonymous
“Clean” is marketing nonsense. Dr Jart’s is not dirty. Don’t spread this silliness
Anon
Please read more objective info about so-called “clean” beauty. Most of it is greenwashing and very little of it is based on evidence of harm.
Anon
I see your point that there is a lot of greenwashing, but I still prefer to follow the precautionary principle in a very underregulated industry with a bad track record.
My issue with Dr. Jart’s BB cream was mixing mineral sunblock and chemical sunscreen, which I thought was not advised.
Anon
I am a sunscreen fanatic and have never seen any advice about not mixing the two. In fact, it can lead to greater coverage.
That said, I would also never rely on Bb cream alone for sun protection. You don’t put enough on for that. No one does.
Anon
https://www.molemap.co.nz/wellness/mixing-sunscreens
Anonymous
There’s no reason not to mix chemical and physical sunscreen.
Anonymous
As I said before, it contains talc. I’m not interested in putting talc on my face, so it’s a no go for me.
Anon
Why can’t you use moisturizer that has spf in it and then keep the foundation?
OP
Why would I buy yet another product when I already have moisturizer and spf that I like AND I just spent $45 on foundation I don’t like?
anon
You hate using separate products, complain about the single-purpose foundation being costly without SPF even though you bought it knowing that was the case, and then strike down a suggestion to use SPF moisturizer… I mean, something’s gotta give.
Jeans
I need jeans asap! It’s not the sort of thing I like to shop for in a hurry, but here we are. What are your favorite ama zon jeans? I would like one of the more current cuts, maybe a 90’s straight leg or slightly wider and in a petite. Bonus points it they are super soft and can help hold in my mom belly. Help!
hey it's me
Is it possible at all to go try on jeans at a department store that has a variety of brands and cuts? IMHO that’s the fastest way to land on a new brand/cut without going through a bunch of returns back and forth.
If not possible, I would order a lot of options.
Lately I tried Good American jeans for the first time and REALLY like them. Here’s a couple options that might work. If it was me I’d order direct and pay for faster shipping.
https://www.goodamerican.com/products/good-petite-bootcut-jeans-indigo557
https://www.goodamerican.com/products/good-icon-silkie-straight-jeans-indigo544
https://www.goodamerican.com/products/good-x27-90s-petite-indigo466
https://www.goodamerican.com/products/always-fits-good-pant-straight-indigo520
Anon
I like all the Levi’s on Amazon.
Peaches
I have these – I hate anything tight or pinch-y around my belly and I find them comfortable. They have short inseams: https://www.target.com/p/women-s-high-rise-90-s-straight-jeans-universal-thread-dark-wash/-/A-88545628?preselect=88007676#lnk=sametab
anon
NYDJ marilyn straight. Most people recommend you take one size down in NYDJ.
Anon
jeans are so hard to do online. if you’re able to pop into an Old Navy or Nordstrom, trying on makes so much difference
Greensleeves
I have two pair of Democracy Ab-solution jeans I ordered from that site. It’s the same company that makes Wit & Wisdom jeans. They are very soft and comfortable, and help some with the belly. There are usually a variety of options with Prime shipping!
Anon
If you like high waist jeans, I recommend Gap stride, which are available in petite sizing as well as short length regular sizing.
A
Gap jeans
Anonymous
Question for the group. When you post multi-paragraph novellas on this site are you typing that up on a computer or your phone?
Anon
Shots fired.
Vicky Austin
Why does it matter?
Anon
If it’s me you can tell for yourself by the number of embarrassing typos (that’d be phone).
Anon
It’s ducking embarrassing.
Anon
Phone, because I’m not stupid enough to post my personal opinions from a work computer.
hey it's me
Computer. I still end up with typos. :)
Anonymous
Pft, typing is just so dated, who has time for that anymore? Haven’t you upgraded to a neural interface?
Cat
For anything lengthy it’s from a real keyboard. No way can I go back and edit, rearrange my thoughts, etc. as well squinting and pinching at a phone.
anon
I’ve been a lawyer/litigator for about 10 years now and recently realized I’m becoming less and less risk-averse with age and experience. I wonder if anyone else has experienced this? Random examples I can think of: when buying auto and homeowner insurance recently, I decided against adding an umbrella policy. Or being comfortable letting my medical bills accumulate for a while and negotiating them down once they’ve been sent to collections. Or applying for a medical mj card in my state when every professional adult I know said they were too scared of unforeseen consequences. I think earlier in my career I would have done the opposite of all of those things!
Anon
What? You’re letting bills go into collections? You’re ok with getting sued with no coverage above basic limits?
Go give your law degree back.
Anon
Srsly
Senior Attorney
Right? Good grief, OP. You’re playing with fire here.
Anon
Not OP but I don’t think letting medical bills go to collections is that wild. There are all kinds of regulations about how medical debt can’t impact your credit score, so normally unless you carry the debt for an excessively long time you won’t see any impact to your credit score. Shrug. Healthcare in this country is crazy overpriced (yes, even with decent insurance), and if you let the bill go to collections you normally don’t have to pay the full amount. I often do it and have a credit score in the 800s.
Anonymous
I will say that perhaps I’m a terrible litigator but I’m less risk adverse than my corporate lawyer husband. “Getting sued” is his worst case scenario whereas I have enough faith in the legal system that I am less worried about an extremely unlikely or unfair result will come about. Maybe that’s part of it? I think type a folks tend to think that one mistake can have huge significant ramifications, which is sometimes true, but the world is thankfully not set up to require perfection from everyone at all times.
Anon
Does”less and less risk-averse” mean letting unpaid bills impact your credit score? Not smart.
Kelsey
Low stakes question for Friday. I’m buying a curling iron for the first time for my 16 year old who has long hair (below the bra strap). Is it better to get a 1” barrel or 1.25” barrel? She’s never curled her hair before so we’re both clueless.
Lily
Depends what look she’s going for. If she wants big voluminous waves, then you want to go with a bigger barrel. With a 1-inch barrel, you won’t get tight ringlets but it’ll definitely be more of a curl and less of a wave.
Anon
It depends how well her hair holds a curl. I have naturally straight, smooth hair.
1.25” gives me big loose curls that drop into gentle waves after a couple hours. If her hair is wavy or curly then the loose curls might stay in place all day.
1” looks like Shirley Temple for half an hour or so then it falls into loose curls that last all day. With a 1” you should only curl the front pieces of you hair for a second or two. The face framing pieces won’t look right if you hold them in the curler for too long. If her hair holds a curl well then 1” might be too small for her.
I would not recommend a tapered wand. Buy a traditional curling iron, either remove the clamp or wrap her hair outside the clamp, and don’t curl the bottom 1-2 inches of each strand.
Faizan
“California has a dam problem. Since the start of the 20th century, the state has built thousands of dams on its rivers and streams. Now, more than 75% of the largest dams (totaling over 900) are greater than 50 years old, and the mean age is close to 80 years old. This means that a significant proportion of the state’s dams are reaching – or have already reached – the end of their designed lifespan. Many are no longer performing their intended functions due to sediment build-up, lack of maintenance, or obsolescence. What do we do about these “deadbeat dams”? As discussed in an earlier post, given the poor condition of many of these dams, and the often devastating consequences of their failure, doing nothing is not a good option. So, the authors of that article suggest California take a proactive approach. In particular, they cite the need for a “structured assessment tool” to assess the risks of aging dams and help identify those whose time for removal has come.”