Guest Post: Tips for Traveling Solo
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What are your best tips for traveling solo, ladies? We've talked about how to plan a vacation and how to take vacation time without making yourself crazy, but we haven't really discussed traveling alone as a woman. Particularly considering some folks may be in the midst of planning bar trips right now, I thought we'd discuss. Today's tips for traveling solo come from one of my best friends since college, who we've called Auntie M when she's guest posted in the past (taking a week of TPS reports in 2011 and another earlier this year, as well as sharing her experiences with freezing her eggs). Welcome back, Auntie M! – Kat
Hi there. I'm writing this from Madagascar, where I'm working on a documentary on a traveling French brass band. Since I've started traveling, it's really been a trip – I've lost my luggage for five days, found weird (huge!) bugs in my clothing, and gotten super sick from eating who knows what. My point is, when you travel, things will happen that will surprise you, even when you've passed the point where you think you can still be surprised. And your ability to cope with these things will also surprise you. And travel — yes, even solo travel — can be fun. Like, a lot of fun. With some good preparation, a friendly attitude, a commitment to let go of some of your neuroses (seriously, leave that sleep-sheet behind, princess) and to never, ever panic, you can be ready to take on the world. Below are some tips and tricks. Safe travels, everyone!
(All photos courtesy of Auntie M. All rights reserved.)
Well Begun is Half Done: Preparation
Research, research, research!
You won’t want to know everything about a country before you get there — leave yourself some room to make your own discoveries — but you'll want to know enough so that you're not taken too much by surprise. In addition to researching the must-see sights, look ahead to know the visa requirements, public holidays, and whether your home country has issued any travel advisories for your destination.
Pack light
“You pack it, you carry it” was a rule my father instituted early on in my childhood, and I've tried to follow it ever since. Most importantly, packing light makes you less of a target for scammers and thieves and other people looking to take advantage of a woman on her own. You will also worry less about what you’re going to wear, because you simply have fewer choices — it's actually pretty liberating! In terms of luggage, for long-term, far-flung travel, a backpack is best. No matter where you're going, make sure you can lift and carry all your bags yourself. To help pare down what you need, invest in quick-dry clothing and underwear you can wash yourself and hang to dry overnight. Instead of a dress, bring a compact black or dark skirt and pair it with a top for the “nice” nights out. Leave the jewelry behind — you'll get some from the fabulous destination you're headed to anyway, so don't take up any more valuable bag space with any of your nice stuff from home.
Simplify your shoes
For extended backpacker-style trips, you will probably get a lot of use out of hiking boots or other closed-toe shoes with ankle support (wear while traveling so they don't take up room in your pack). Wet-dry sandals with straps, like Tevas or Chukkas, are also a must. Lightweight, closed-toe flats like TOMS or Sanuks are a good option for visiting religious sites, and can also pass as “nice” shoes for backpackers. Keep in mind that unless you have very small or very large feet, you can buy cheap shoes just about anywhere if your needs change.
Be a copycat
Make a copy of your passport and itinerary and put it in your daypack. In fact, make two copies, and put one in your daypack and one in your main bag. If the worst-case scenario actually happens and your passport gets stolen or goes missing, these backup copies will help you tremendously in getting your life back together.
Lock it up
I keep a small, TSA-approved combination lock on all my bags — yes, even my carry-on. Pick a combination that's easy to remember and hard for someone else to guess. Having locks visible on your bag will act as a deterrent to potential thieves. Lock the zippers on your bags together every single time you travel — even if you're just on a bus, sticky fingers can often find a way to get into your stuff, even if you think you've kept an eye on it the whole time.
Get a money belt and wear it
No, a money belt is not fashionable — but it is useful! I carry my passport and some cash in my money belt whenever I'm in transit, because I like to have my passport on my body the entire time as opposed to in a purse or backpack. I once had a travel partner who just kept his passport in his pocket, and it drove me crazy — it felt like he was inviting trouble! Once I arrive in a city, I usually don't bring my passport out with me sightseeing; instead, I lock it up in my bag. If I'm staying at a hostel and no lockers are available, I'll use a longer wire combination lock to secure my bag to my bed. If I'm in a guesthouse, I'll just lock the bag up tight and make sure my room is locked before I leave it. I generally don't trust guesthouse or hotel safes — I know too many people who have been the victims of “inside job” thefts that way.
Get your shots
Immunizations may be recommended or even required for travel to certain parts of the world — check with your local doctor or travel clinic. You don't necessarily have to get all the shots; a rabies vaccine, for example, won't protect against all strains of the disease, and some other vaccinations and medications are very expensive and might not be worth the cost if you're in relatively good health. On the other hand, getting a flu shot ahead of traveling may help boost your immune system, which can be weakened by long-distance travel. Check with your doctor, and keep a record of your latest shots and immunizations in your passport case.
Bring extra passport photos
These will come in handy in visa-on-arrival lines and will save you the headache of having to wait in yet another line to have your photo taken. Keep these in your passport case as well, for easy access.
Bring extra cash for emergencies
Keep a stash of clean, unfolded, new-edition cash in a safe place locked away in your bag. U.S. dollars are pretty versatile and accepted at most places worldwide; alternatively, Euros should also work.
How much tech do you need?
This depends on you. Obviously you're going to bring a camera — make sure you have plenty of extra memory cards, because you're going to take so many more pictures than you expect. Be sure to remember the charger! Also, since I would never want to be anywhere without my music, my iPod is essential — I especially love the iPod touch that has wifi capability so I can buy new music when I want to. A book or eReader is also good for long bus rides and solo restaurant outings. If you're bringing a computer, make sure it's a lightweight, sturdy netbook that won't weigh you down, and if you're going to be in the same country for more than a week, a basic, talk-and-text only phone for which you can buy a SIM card and credit can be incredibly helpful. And don't forget a multi-country travel adapter!
Remember the sunblock, forget the lipstick
Or, you know, bring the lipstick, if that’s the one thing you need to feel like yourself. For me, I can't be without mascara, so I made sure to bring some extra tubes of Max Factor Exact Eyelights in Black Ruby (similar). Other than that, my daily “makeup” routine is sunblock on my face and lips, a little bit of pressed powder from a compact, and the mascara. I have happily left my hair dryer behind in favor of going natural.
These are some of the Corporette readers' favorite items for business travel…
No, You Probably Won't Get Malaria: Staying Healthy While Abroad
Bring your prescriptions
Obviously if you have medical requirements, bring enough of your prescriptions to last you the length of your journey. If you're traveling for an unknown length of time, bring at least two month’s worth of your medication; in all likelihood, you will be able to find a pharmacy that carries what you need, or, with a little bit of pre-planning, you can probably find someone to ship it to you. This also applies for contact lenses and solution — it'll all take up space in your bag, but unless you absolutely know that you'll be able to find your specific solution in the country you're visiting, bring enough to cover a couple of months.
Bring backup medication…
I'm not saying you should be a traveling pharmacy, but it is a good idea to have a variety of medications on you for those “just in case”” moments that turn into actual need. I generally travel with basic painkillers for sore muscles and headaches (I like ibuprofen, you may prefer paracetemol or aspirin), antihistamines for seasonal allergies and extra-itchy bug bites, anti-diarrheals including rehydration sachets, one round of antibiotics, and a few muscle relaxers (I have a history of back spasms). Also be sure to include some basic first aid, including antibiotic ointment (like Neosporin), band-aids, a small roll of gauze, and individually-wrapped rubbing-alcohol pads.
… but be judicious in when you use it
Stomach issues, especially diarrhea, are just a reality of travel. If it happens to you, don't rush to take medication that only treats the symptoms and not the cause. Unless you're about to board a bus or plane, try to let whatever it is work through your system. Mixing a packet of rehydration powder with a bottle of water will also make you feel much better while you're waiting for the sickness to pass. Make sure not to over-use things like antibiotics, muscle relaxers, and sleeping pills — those really should be for last resort use only.
Have protection — and use it!
Hey, girl, everyone's got needs. If yours include bedroom activities, make sure you've got high-quality protection with you and easily available in the heat of the moment. Do not leave it up to the other person, no matter how trustworthy and travel soul-matey they seem. You are responsible for your own health here. This is non-negotiable.
Trim your nails
A lot of dirt can get trapped under your fingernails, which will naturally get close to your mouth at mealtime. Increase your chances of staying healthy by keeping the nails short and clean.
Keep the hand gel close
Antibiotic hand gel will come in handy just about everywhere — before meals, after meals, if you get a scrape or a cut on a hike or walking down the street, if you need to clean off a utensil before using it … the uses are endless. Always have a small bottle on you.
Practice living without toilet paper
Consider this: you will not always have western toilets accessible to you, and even if you do, you might not have any toilet paper (and even if you do have paper, you may not be allowed to flush it down the toilet). If you find yourself in a situation without paper, just use a little bit of water — cup your left hand, pour some water in, and splash it up there where it counts. Your pants will dry quicker than you think, and using water is cleaner than, well, not using water. Just make sure to wash your hands with soap afterwards, or use hand sanitizer.
You will get dirty — but you can still keep it fresh
If you're visiting a country where the bulk of the tourist attractions are also religious sites, be ready to take your shoes off. A lot. Don't worry about protecting your pedicure — instead, enjoy the callouses that will develop on your feet from walking barefoot around so many temples. But even if your feet are dirty, your clothes can still be fresh and clean: if baby powder is too messy, try getting a small spray-bottle and filling it up with rubbing alcohol (or vodka). Spray it on your shirts and pants to help alleviate the smell of sweaty days. In buggy climates, a mix of alcohol and bug spray also works well. Note: do NOT do this to refresh dirty underwear. Just give those a proper wash — a bar of laundry soap travels way easier than powder or liquid soap and allows you to do a quick wash just about anywhere.
“Greetings From…”: What to Do When You Get There
Consider dressing conservatively
This isn't about dressing to avoid attention from men — we all know that a certain type of man will leer at a woman no matter what she's wearing. But dressing conservatively is both respectful and practical. Wearing longer skirts (around knee-length) and torso-covering shirts means you can go into just about any temple, church, or other religious place, and also guarantees a layer of protection between your skin and whatever germy things are crawling around the seats of the local bus you’re taking. (If your skirt is very lightweight, though, it might be see-through — stand in front of a light before you go just to check, and if you can see through the skirt, pack a pair of lightweight biking shorts or full-coverage “boy short” style underwear.) In very hot weather it may not always be necessary to cover your arms and shoulders in public, but if you're wearing a tank top, make sure you have a lightweight scarf or shawl to cover up if necessary.
Know how to…
Drive a car — both manual and automatic. Drive a motorcycle. Drive a scooter. Ride a pedal bike. Swim. Knowing how to do all of these things will not only increase your ability to do fun stuff, these skills may possibly save your life. Related: get an international driver's permit. Most countries don't require it, but some do, and it’s better to have it and not need it.
Don't always be polite
We women are taught to be polite pretty much all the time. Sometimes we can find ourselves in some bad — even potentially dangerous — situations because we “didn't want to offend” whoever it was that got us into the dangerous situation in the first place. But as a solo traveler, you are under absolutely no obligation to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Ever. Period. Full stop. You do not have to go to dinner with the taxi driver who drove you from the train station. You do not have to have tea with the shopkeeper trying to sell you carpets. You do not ever have to take drinks, food, or drugs simply because they are offered. Don't want to do something? Just say no. If you feel like it, and if the person chatting you up seems harmless, say no with a smile. But if they're making you uncomfortable, give them a firm no. You have the option of walking away, or staying where you are and expecting them to walk away. Yes, they may call you a mean name in a language you don’t understand (or even one that you do), but so what? That person doesn't matter. What they think of you doesn't matter. Only you matter. You're in charge. No one's going to take better care of you than you, so get on it.
What did he just call me?
A lot of people in a lot of countries won't hesitate to call you fat, or some variation, if you're bigger than the average citizen. I've heard “big,” “big-big,” “cute fat,” “strong,” “motti” and, just today, “juicy.” Delightful. They'll tell you it's not meant as an insult, but, you know, it doesn't necessarily feel great to hear it. Just try not to let it bug you. My friends and family back home have been horrified by some of the things I've heard, but I try to take it with a massive grain of salt. I know what I look like, and I like it. I've only come back with a sarcastic response a couple of times, and in those situations it's been with people who I know have lots of experience with Westerners and knew they were being offensive. The rest of the time, I just let it go.
Fake it until you make it
Even if you don't know where you are on a map or if you're headed in the right direction toward your destination, pretend like you do, at least until you can pull into a shop or restaurant to look at a map. Avoid looking at a map while standing on a street corner — you'll make yourself easy prey.
You Can Still Have Fun, You Know: Entertain Yourself While Traveling Solo
No one around to take a picture of you in front of that amazing temple you've been waiting forever to see? Take a picture of yourself, girl! Even if you feel a little silly, it will be worth it later when you get to show everyone proof that yes, you were there.
Read a book!
Did you bring your eReader? Or did you pick up a book from the book exchange at your guesthouse? Good for you! Rediscover the joy of reading. I've read a lot since coming to Asia — feel free to check out a partial list and my six-word book reviews here: http://heatrainbugs.com/2014/02/11/wanted-nice-girl-seeks-good-book-or-my-six-word-reviews-of-books-ive-read-in-asia/.
Remember, people are just people.
Try not to exoticize them too much, ok? A lot of Westerners I've met in Asia definitely match the “White People Think Brown People Are Amaaaaaaazing” stereotype, and I think it's unfortunate. If you're going to take a picture of a person, or try to talk to a random local stranger without having been approached, stop and ask yourself why. Ask yourself if you would take the same picture of that person, or approach them for the same conversation, if you were in your own country. I say this having taken plenty of people pictures myself — it's just an ongoing conversation I have with myself, in an effort to be mindful of my own motivations. (On a similar note, be warned: in some places, locals will jump in front of your camera right as you're taking a picture and demand money for it. This makes me feel cynical sometimes.)
Eat new things, even if you think you won’t like them
If you're doing this whole travel thing right, you will probably find yourself inside someone's home, preferably in a rural place, being served homemade food and drink. Keep an open mind — in most cases, you're going to love what you're served. But even if you don't, you know it's rude to refuse, so sometimes you'll just have to woman-up and swallow down something that you really do not like. Don't worry — the bad taste will fade eventually, and it's more than worth it to have an authentic and unique experience.
Obviously, though, use your own good judgment: if you've got life-threatening allergies or religious laws that restrict you from eating certain foods, do not put yourself in danger or violate your religious principles for the sake of politeness. If you're an alcoholic in recovery, do not accept the homemade wine offered to you. But if your own dietary rules are only a matter of preference, consider bending the rules a little bit in exchange for trying something new — it's why you traveled in the first place, isn't it?
Make friends with other girls
Female solo travelers are a unique and wonderful breed, and we tend to make friends easily. Be nice to that Polish girl you meet on your cave trek in Vietnam, because you may see her a few months later wandering the streets of Kathmandu. Who knows, maybe you'll end up even traveling together one day. At least, for a little while … because by then, you'll have fallen in love with solo travel and will want to keep doing your own thing.
Readers, do you enjoy solo travel? Have any of your own tips to share?
Auntie M used to be a litigator, and she also used to work in mediation, but then she went away to Laos for a month and never really came home. After having spent much of 2013 in Southeast Asia by accident, she is presently mostly based out of Kathmandu, Nepal, where she writes about the music scene there and other stuff. She experiences the occasional bout of homesickness, but her cravings for sushi are far more frequent. You can find out her real name at her blog, www.heatrainbugs.com.
Social media picture credit: Death to the Stock Photos.
Having just returned from a (not long enough) backpacking trip of SE Asia (yay Laos!), I highly recommend Ex-Officio underwear for traveling. You really only need three pairs – one to wash, one to wear, and one for backup. They’re comfy and they dry super quickly.
Agree that they are good for travel, but be warned, around the 1 year mark they somehow start losing their anti-smell feature and become kind of extra stinky.
Kat, here are 4 idea’s to live for:
1) When I travel SOLO for busness (which is most of the time), I alway’s pack lightley b/c I do NOT have a HUSBAND to carry my luggage.
2) Also, when I eat dinner alone in a hotel while on a busness trip, I alway’s go to the hotel bar where I do NOT have to sit by myself. At least I can rely on the bartender who will talk to me so that sleazey guy’s do NOT monompolize me at a tabel.
3) I have learned also, when alone, NOT to dress weareing short skirt’s, b/c alot of sleazey men seem to be attracted to me, like moth’s to a light, if I ever wear short skirt’s. That is true not onley at the hotel but also at the work place, including when I take EBT’s at opposeing counsel’s office. FOOEY!
4) When I pack stuff in my suitcase, since some things I must have (lady thing’s), I put them in carry on b/c it would be teribel if I was not abel to get them if they loose my luggage (like they did in Kansas City in 2011). DOUBEL FOOEY!
All great advice! I’ve traveled alone quite a bit, for weeks at a time, and everything here rang true.
Great fabric for travel: Merino wool. Can wear it for days without smelling, dries and layers easily. Icebreaker and SmartWool are good brands. I wear wool everything — even underwear and sports bra — except for pants.
Also on the subject of clothing, go easy on the sleeveless shirts & shorts. They are not appropriate in a lot of settings including religious buildings. You’ll notice that even in a lot of tropical countries, people wear long pants.
One more tip is to always grab one or two of your hotel/hostel’s business cards and have them on your person. That way if you get lost you’ll be able to easily ask people to help you get home, even in the local language.
And finally, learn a handful of words — starting with Hello, Please, Thank you, Yes, No — in the local language. Nothing opens people up like an honest attempt to communicate on their terms.
Agreed, especially about learning a few phrases- my critical list of things to be able to say are:
(with AK) Hello, Please, Thank you, Yes, No
Numbers 1 through 10
Excuse me/Sorry
Where is the bathroom?
How much does that cost?
Help!
and the classic… Do you speak English?
This is great advice for women in life: Don’t always be polite
You prob. won’t get malaria, but DO research whether or not anti-malarial pills are recommended for the place your visiting & the time of year you’re going. It’s very easy to get a mosquito bite (heck, mosquitoes carrying west nile virus have popped up in Silicon Valley again recently so it’s not just a third world problem). Some anti-malarial drugs can have side effects & they’re not fun (been there, done that), but it’s still better than the alternative.
I traveled for an extended time in Asia and while I was mostly with my SO, I found that people were often friendly and more genuinely helpful when I was on my own. There were definitely places where it really helped to have a male companion though.
If you’re traveling alone but don’t want to be alone 24/7, I’d recommend hostels over hotels. There are some really, really nice hostels, and you’ll meet a ton of other travelers. Temporarily getting together with other travelers is a great way to both make friends and save money, especially in areas where you need to hire transporation.
Carry a small tactical flashlight with you in your purse. Typically about the size of a slightly-thicker mascara wand.
1) if you find yourself in need of a light source, you have one. I actually arrived at the airport parking deck at 11pm last night to find that it was in complete darkness (power failure). i felt very comfortable walking to my car with my flashlight illuminating my way!
2) these suckers have a POWERFUL beam. you will temporarily blind someone if you shine it in their eyes – good for self-defense
3) they can also be used for impact. see #2 re: self defense.
4) they can be taken through airport security in your carry-on luggage.
I have a phone back-up battery charger thing which is always in my handbag. It has a torch incorporated into it, which I didn’t realise I liked having until I had one.
This is a fantastic post that covers a ton! My super minor quibble: I haven’t been able to buy shoes everywhere (I’m looking at you, Japan, China and India!) with my size 8W feet.
Carry a small pack of tissues in East Asia, as there is usually no toilet paper in public restrooms. Stores will often hand out free packs with ads on them.
I always travel with a Merrell headband. I’ve used it as a mouth and nose cover in diesel fume filled cities, an eye cover to nap in bright places, a handkerchief, a wound cover for a scrape, etc. etc. Scarves are great for this as well, and can double as pillows, towels, and head/shoulder covering for equatorial sun.
Email someone your itinerary and when you plan to be back. When travelling by myself, I email my best friend my flights, any places I’ve booked to stay, and my passport number/exp. date. In case my wallet is stolen, I also have an accessible secure file containing certain credit card numbers and bank contact info that I can access as long as I can get to the internet.
If you really want to eat questionable street food, do it at the end of your trip so if you get sick, you’ll be on your way back home.
I love all of your tips, but on the last one- food poisoning symptoms often hit within the day of/ day after eating the food.
I remember a verrrrry rough international flight where I had one of the worst stomachaches of my life. Ruining a day or two of an expensive trip with illness might stink, but it still might be a bit better than suffering through a long plane trip home!
This is great travel advice in general! Thanks Auntie M (and Kat for finding a great guest poster on this topic!)
I really like traveling alone because I feel like it’s so easy to make new friends, which is one of the greatest rewards of doing things on your own!
This was a great post for someone planning their first solo trip in the fall. I felt like I was a bit too old for hostels – any tips for meeting people in other contexts? I’m planning on taking one or two group tours to not be on my own all the time but I am indeed wary of the balance of being too wary or never meeting anyone fun.
I wouldn’t discount hostels just yet. At least in my experience (East and Southeast Asia) the hostel crowd was much older than I expected – I was definitely one of the younger people in a ton of places, and I was 25. There were plenty of people in their 40s, 50s or older, either because they enjoyed the hostel experience or because hotels were so. friggin. expensive (looking at you, Japan).
Grumpy: For cheaper hotels in Japan, try “business hotels”. Usually $50-120 per night, but zero frills.
Thanks. We stayed in a business hotel in Japan (though a number of them are not women/couple-friendly) but the prices just seemed exorbitant after months of >$20 per night!
+1 I’ve been to plenty of hostels internationally that had just as many families and retirees as they had college students.
+1 on hostels are fine. I might avoid them in summer, or near spring break, but I’ve had great experiences in hostels in the US and Europe at other times of year. I always try for a private room and try to get the vibe from the website. (One of my favorites was a Quaker hostel in DC, very near the mall. They had a no drinking policy that I think contributed to an older, less party oriented, crowd.)
Never ask some person walking on the roadside or who seems to be just loitering for directions. He/she can easily mislead and then follow you. Ask a person who cannot leave the place, like a waiter, shopkeeper etc for directions. They cannot just leave what they are doing and stalk you. This was an advice from my aunt and it has served me very well.
Onebag dot com is a really comprehensive site for travelling light. It is my go to when I pack for trips. If I’m flying, I only carry one carry-on bag. Overpacking can leave you quite a target. If you sew Saf-T pocket patterns all have hidden pockets and some good reversible tops and pants choices too. Although some of the styles I find a bit dowdy.
All fantastic tips and really fun to read through — inspiring! I just wanted to add that women’s solo travel also includes things outside backpack/hostel/tramping holidays. I had a phenomenal time for two weeks on my own in London – and didn’t worry about packing hiking boots, bug spray, over-the-counter meds, or extra cash, or getting pre-trip immunizations. For destinations in Europe I highly recommend the Rick Steves guides — his “Europe Through the Back Door” travel skills handbook has very good sections on traveling alone and traveling alone as a woman.
I will be spending one day alone in London in a few weeks. I’ve been there before with just a few free hours, and saw Buckingham Palace and the guard ceremony/parade thing. Do you have any suggestions? I’m thinking of taking a hop on hop off type bus tour, and/or spending a few hours at the tour of London.
Love this post. I just came back from the Cayman Islands – my first solo trip! Initially I thought that I’m too much of an extrovert to travel alone and would get lonely, but I was getting burned and in dire need of a break so away I went and it was fantastic. This was likely the first of many adventures for one!
Since I was going to be alone, I purposefully looked for a destination with a solid public safety record and took recommendations from female friends/colleagues who have roamed the globe on their own. I would highly recommend Cayman for some alone time. One day I took a break from the beach, rented a car, and drove the whole coast. I felt comfortable exploring areas far away from the tourist zones and will definitely return another time.
Scan your passport (the main page along with any relevant visa pages) and email the scan to yourself. Often more handy than a hard copy, which can get lost or damaged.
As a female solo traveler and a womens self defense instructor I’d like to share a tip of my own which I hope your female readers will read, remember, and share with many other women and girls far and wide.
I have been teaching Krav Maga to women and girls for over 5 years and we teach a very effective technique which I feel should should be in every woman and girls arsenal. We are a women only event, run by women, for women, and there is an extremely effective technique what we teach to women of all ages, which I feel we should all share as far and wide as possible.
The technique is the “groin grab” self defense technique which is to be used against a male attacker, which is now taught in many womens self defense classes, and there is actually a little trick to it…
To execute this technique, you’re going to take your hand and quickly grasp between the attackers thighs underhand. Its going to feel like you’re “cradling” the testicles. Quickly grab hold of, or snatch the testicles and dig your fingertips into the fragile skin BEHIND the scrotum. Then, once you have a good grip, you turn your hand into a vice, with your fingers digging inwards, around the back and over the top of the testicles. If you do it right, you should feel the testes INSIDE your hand which is holding the scrotum. You want, whenever possible, to hook your fingers over and around at least one testicle. One of them is enough.
Then, with your hands in a claw and your fingertips latched around the testes, you turn your hand sharply, as though you were turning a doorknob. Simultaneously, squeeze hard and pull the testicles away from his body as fast and as hard as you can. DO NOT LET GO OF THEM. This is very important. What happens then, is that your assailant usually screams out in pain and then tries to grab the wrist of your hand holding him in a futile attempt to try to get you to release him. DON’T. He then quickly loses one of the natural advantages he usually has over us (his strength) within a matter of seconds. Vomiting, curling over, collapsing and convulsing is common. Shock and unconsciousness can set in within 8 seconds. If he initially starts to fight back then you tuck your head in and keep squeezing his testicles until he faints. This only takes a matter of seconds. When he collapses, which he will, you get away to safety as quickly as possible and call for help.
It’s never too late to perform this technique at any stage of an attack, and that even includes the option of reaching down if he’s on top of you, but it is easiest to do when the testicles are exposed and closest to you where you can grab hold of them. I’ve actually met several women in my life who have fought off their attackers in this way and one did it when her attacker was on top of her and raping her at the point he lost control. Don’t ever hold back. Some women scream while they are doing this, and some women think of a loved one being harmed to help overcome any bad feelings of hurting someone else even if they are being hurt themselves. Do whatever you have to do if you feel it helps.
If done properly, and done with enough force, this technique can even lead to the testicles rupturing. It’s actually easier to do than most women believe, and just about all of us have the capability to injure an attackers testicles in this way – whether we are young girls still of school age, or whether we are great grandmothers. We, as women have no part of our bodies as vulnerable as a mans testicles. After all, if you think about it testicles are just small objects of extreme vulnerability to pain squishiness wrapped in a delicate layer of skin which offers them no protection at all from this kind of counterattack by a woman. Most importantly, this fact holds true no matter what size your attacker is, nor how strong he is. And no matter how angry he is, and how much he’s threatened what he’s going to do to you, he’s going to drop. Don’t let anyone (usually men who are very uncomfortable with thoughts of women beating them in combat) try to convince you otherwise.
I once worked with a group of Somali women who informed me that grandmothers, mothers, and daughters between generations shared this powerful method of fighting off men. They even have a name for it in Somalia and they call the move “Qworegoys”. They were surprised that women in the West didn’t seem to share this information as much as they expected, and even more surprised that most women didn’t even seem aware of this technique.
I know that this advice would have been a difficult read for many women, but our lives are worth far more than a rapists testicles and we should be prepared to do whatever it takes to get away to safety. Please help to share this advice with as many other women and girls in any way you can. It could one day be a life saver.