Coffee Break: Metal Hinged Bracelet

Tory Burch fitbitSo: that’s a Fitbit. Where? Right there, on her wrist. It’s part of Tory Burch’s new collaboration with Fitbit. I’m pretty psyched about this, even though I’ve had a love/hate relationship with Fitbit ever since I got the Force rash (while pregnant, too!).  (I now wear a Fitbit Flex but only when I’m going on a walk or run.) The little rubber bracelet is functional, but it sure is ugly — so like I said, I’m really excited about this collaboration. The hinged metal bracelet (pictured) is $195; there are some more affordable silicone bracelets with fun Tory Burch patterns and colors on them (for $38). There’s also a hinged pendant necklace for the Flex. Tory Burch for Fitbit Metal Hinged Bracelet



  1. Wildkitten :

    I was confused by this product – the flex they suggest you buy seems to have two pieces, the regular flex and a different piece (that looks like the one, frankly) that seems to slip into the bracelet and pendant. Does the flex come apart and have the one piece inside it? Or how does a flex owner know how this works?

    • I LOVE TORY BIRCH and I LOVE FITBIT! DOUBEL YAY! I have the $99 fitbit that dad got me to monitor my tuchus and it work’s GREAT. I once in a while give it to MYRNA, and she does 20,000 steps and Dad think’s it is me! But I do NOT do it to often b/c then dad will EXPECT it all the time, and my tuchus would NOT be small enough for all those steps and he would get mad. Dad love’s to monitor my fitbit from his home office, and he measure’s my tuchus every time I come home to see what correleation there is between my step’s and my tuchus size. If he knew about Myrna’s useing my fitbit, he would absolutely go ape! FOOEY, b/c I will NEVER tell and neither will Myrna, but we think it is VERY funny!

      The manageing partner’s brother has an interview next week with the co-op and he want’s dad and me to write a letter b/c Dad is the responsibel party on my coop. Dad is not that anxious to do this but he knows my job depend’s on the manageing partner so he asked that the brother come out to LI to meet with him. That is to hapen this weekend when I am there. I hope they do NOT talk about me but I do NOT know how that is NOT goeing to hapen b/c the apartement is right next to mine, and mabye Dad will have him spy on me to make sure I do NOT bring any new men into my apartement? I am confused over the impleacation’s of those 2 getting together. Do the HIVE have any idea’s here? I think this could be troubel. FOOEY!

    • just Karen :

      I do not have one, but I think the second, smaller piece that they have pictured is the piece that you plug into your USB port of your computer for the actual tracking. Hopefully an Fitbit Flex owner can confirm one way or the other for us.

      • Wildkitten :

        It looks like the flex has a piece inside the band that you can take out (and put in the bracelet or whatever):

    • This is actually really nice – I’m intrigued!

    • The smaller piece is the actual tracker; the bracelet just holds it close to your skin. It seems like the TB bracelet conceals the tracker but is not as accurate because the website states “For best results, use the original Fitbit wristband to track workouts and sleep. “

  2. (former) preg 3L :

    To the “shoes?” poster on the morning thread: you werent moderated, your comments (and replies) are on the second page of comments. Scroll to the bottom of the page and hit “Newer Comments” to see your posts. Hope this helps.

    • Wildkitten :

      My heels last pretty well (I only wear them at work) but when I wear my flats at work + commuting I wear through them really fast. Are there any flats that can hold up to some intense wear? Tieks?

      • I have a pair of Tieks. My feet are pickyyyy about shoes. I love them. They have held up well but I only got them in April. It’s rare for me to be able to wear shoes without socks.

        • Anonymous :

          Mine have held up really well too. I have a pair that is 2 years old that I wear on weekend when chasing my very active toddler all over the neighborhood and they have held up very well.

      • A Nonny Moose :

        I started wearing separate flats for commuting and putting on my nice flats at the office. So far so good.

        • Wildkitten :

          I am just sick of my commuter shoes falling apart so often. Maybe I should just accept it and order them in bulk.

          • A Nonny Moose :

            Agreed. I still refuse to commute in sneakers, though I think it’d save me a lot of money.

          • I’d totally commute in sneakers, but only if I could get Carly Simon to walk behind me, belting it out…

      • OklaAttorney :

        I’ve been commuting in a pair of Cole Haan air wedges for the last year and they have held up really well. I live downtown though so I only have to walk about 1 to 1.5 miles roundtrip between the office and my apartment. They aren’t flats but they are super comfortable and I hardly notice the wedge heel at all. I actually think they might be more comfortable than my Cole Haan ballerina-style flats.

    • it does, thanks. sorry for being foolish.

      What kind of shoes do you all recommend/ how much are they?

      • Wildkitten :


  3. Sydney Bristow :

    I know this is the eternal question, but where can I find a plain white t-shirt that isn’t see through?

    I ordered a ton of casual tops last week from Target, Old Navy, and Gap and all but one of them was see through. The only one that wasn’t was a really dark gray. I’m sick of transparent tops! It’s too hot to wear a cami under everything.

    • I have a couple of Everlane’s white v-necks – they seem pretty opaque to me.

      • Contracts :

        I would love to buy Everlane ts, because I’ve heard so many good things about them, but according to their website, the L is for an 8-10. How about something a little bigger, Everlane?

        • Sydney Bristow :

          Thanks for pointing that out. I was planning to order one tonight and hadn’t noticed that. That’s not going to work for me.

    • Have you tried the Commando camis? They’re super light. I find that they barely add anything to my body temp at all. They are way thinner than the Shimera tanks mentioned on here. Pretty much all tees I’ve had are see-through in some way.

      • Also, in super hot/humid places, wearing the undercami actually helps keep you feel better as it absorbs/wicks the sweat away and the outer part stays dryer.

    • +1 on Everlane. I also find thicker knits at Ann Taylor and Banana Republic.

    • Lilly Beverly Hills has double-layer nylon t-shirts (and tanks). They are designed for tennis (so they dry quickly), but I wear them around. They are pricey, but you can sometimes find them on sale. They do run small. I am usually a JCrew 4 and the S is very tight on me. I have to wear an M unless something is strictly for workouts.

    • Gail the Goldfish :

      I don’t know, but if you find one, let me know and I’m buying about 5 of them. That’s one of my biggest complaints about trying to find t-shirts. I just want an opaque white shirt.

      • First Year Anon :

        An opaque one that is still soft and drapey, particularly. It’s ridiculous. I dont know how people wear white tshirts.

    • Boden. Everlane was still too sheer for me. I just feel really self conscious having a see-through bra while I’m playing with my son and this is the only brand that is thick enough for my taste.

    • I’ve found some great, thicker-knit white opaque Ts at TJ Maxx and Marshalls…by Tahari and Max Studio (Tahari’s were more opaque). I think I paid like $19.99 for a long sleeved V-neck white shirt.

      I realize this doesn’t exactly help, but something to keep your eyes peeled for at TJ/Marshalls/NordstromRack, etc.

      Best of luck!

    • In House Lobbyist :

      I found one at Kohls at I liked so much I went back for 2 more. It is more like a “textured” or “stripey” white if that make sense. The extra texture makes it not really see through even though it is pretty thin. I use them under cardigans and summer blazers.

    • Sydney Bristow :

      Glad/sad that this isn’t just me! Thanks for the suggestions. I’m probably going to order one of each. The great white shirt hunt of 2014 has begun.

    • gingersnap :

      I’ve had good luck with Eddie Bauer

    • S in Chicago :

      I like the lands end cotton modal fitted scoop neck t-shirts. They’re nice and opaque. The fitted style isn’t boxy like so much of everything else LE makes. It also stays true to size with drying on a light heat and doesn’t pill.

  4. no idea why I’m in moderation… here’s another try:

    I’m having one of those weeks (2 weeks maybe) where I just feel ugly and fat. Realistically I’ve probably gained 3-4 lbs (a real gain, not just water weight) over the past 6-8 months. I’m 5 ft 4, in the 125 range, so I feel like I shouldn’t care that much but I just feel gross and unappealing. My bf insists I haven’t changed and I’m still beautiful, etc. and while I appreciate that, I need to feel good about myself, too. I work out 2-4 times a week and while my diet isn’t great, I don’t drink much and my portion sizes aren’t huge… I do snack but it’s not out of control. I just feel blah. The worst is comparing myself to other women- I do it all the time but going out to happy hour is kind of misery for me now because I can’t stop comparing myself. It’s not just my weight either- every where I look everyone seems to be glowing, their hair looks great, etc. and I feel like some kind of mutant troll. Anyone else feel this way?

    • A Nonny Moose :

      When you say “one of those weeks”– does this happen often or regularly? Or is this a new feeling? Any chance this could be a sign of a bigger issue?

      • I dunno, it comes and goes… sometimes I feel better about myself than others. But one thing I’ve noticed is that I HATE seeing pictures of myself. I always think I look chubby and unattractive, it can totally ruin my day if I see a “fat” picture of myself.

      • again with the moderation…

        I don’t know, it comes and goes, sometimes I feel better about myself than others. But one thing I’ve noticed is that I absolutely hate seeing pictures of myself. I always think I look chubby and unattractive, it can totally ruin my day if I see a “fat” picture of myself.

      • I tried to reply to your comment but it’s in moderation. I give up

    • Anonymous :

      If social occasions are truly a misery for you because you gained 3-4 pounds, I think you might benefit from therapy. Consider exploring why your looks play such a large role in the way you feel about yourself and others.

    • McGiggles :

      Everyone has down days every once and a while so you are not alone! Today try to focus on something you like about yourself and do something you enjoy! And try to stop comparing yourself to others to the point you ruin a good time you could be having. If you have been struggling with this for a while you might benefit from talking to a professional about it. Side note – this reminds me of advice from that sunscreen song – “don’t ready beauty magazines they will only make you feel ugly”

    • Anonattorney :

      I feel like that every now and then. It’s usually synched up with the week before my period. Conversely, I’ve noticed that I’m feeling my absolute best when I’m ovulating.

      Anyway, the best thing for me to do when I feel like that is to up my workouts during that time period. It’s not the most fun answer, but it seems to do the trick! And I’m sure you’re beautiful and not a mutant troll. :)

      • Wildkitten :


      • +1. Upping my workouts makes me more likely to feel like, “Hey, maybe I don’t think my body is perfect, but it’s still pretty awesome because it can run X miles or lift Y lbs.” Plus endorphins make you happy and all that.

    • Wildkitten :

      I have Wildkitten and the terrible horrible no good very bad weeks every once in a while where it seems like nothing goes right, including feeling fat, and I don’t want to be social – and then most weeks things go pretty well. Will this blow over and you’ll be fine next week, or do you feel bad more days than you feel good?

    • Anne Shirley :

      Go see a therapist. When you’re 70 you’ll be kicking yourself if you wasted your youth feeling like a mutant troll because you gained 4 pounds.

      • Senior Attorney :

        No kidding. Especially at that weight at 5’4″. I spent most of my 30s and 40s wishing I weighted what I weighed back when I thought I was fat, at a higher weight than yours and two inches shorter.

        Not to mention the fact that nobody should ever feel like a mutant troll under any circumstances.

    • Go to the doctor. I have similar frustrations where I work out and my diet isn’t that bad but I can’t shake off any weight, and my doctor has noticed a borderline thyroid thing that she wants me to have regular blood tests to keep an eye on

      • Anonymous :

        4 pounds of weight gain over 8 months just really isn’t a sign of a thyroid problem.

        • No, but having struggles in getting the weight off could be a sign of something that needs to be checked out. That said, if you don’t live somewhere with free healthcare I can see you not thinking it’s worth a GP visit.

    • Anonymous :

      To be honest, no, I don’t ever experience the feelings you are describing. And I’m two inches shorter and 40 pounds heavier than you. Try to find a way to feel comfortable in your own skin no matter what you weigh.

      • OMG, are you me?? I am your height and weight, and while I do sometimes feel the way the poster feels, it’s never because of 3 pounds and never to the extreme that she says she feels it.

    • Maddie Ross :

      While I get that it’s entirely possible that the OP could have a thyroid condition, or may be clinically depressed, or may have all sorts of other underlying issues either causing these feelings or as a result of these feelings, I think it’s just as likely that this is a funk. That kind of blip, possibly hormonal, possibly not, where you just aren’t thrilled with yourself, your appearance, your weight. I go through this. And while I’ve had depression issues in the past, it’s not this. For me, I try to do a few days of clean eating. Not for weight loss as much as to just clean out the junk from my system. I purposefully drink more water, avoid caffiene and sugar, and try to eat whole foods. I focus on getting enough sleep and getting moving/breaking a sweat. And I wear clothes that I feel confident in. Focusing on me, my health, my positives, can get me over this hump usually.

      • Anonymous :

        Treating poor self esteem with restrictive eating seems like a terrible idea to me.

        • Maddie Ross :

          I’m not sure how avoiding suagar and eating whole fruits, veggies, meats and grains for a few days is restrictive eating, but whatevs. Sometimes y’all take things a bit far…

          • Anonattorney :

            Agreed. I totally get clean eating, and I think it’s a great suggestion.

          • Anonymous :

            It’s quite literally restricting your eating. OP doesn’t have a weight problem. She has a self-esteem problem. “Solving” that by eating “clean” (news flash-dressing your restrictive eating habits up in a “healthy” label doesn’t changing them) compounds her problem by reinforcing her internal voice that says “oh thank god you no longer weight 125 pounds. We can finally be seen in public again.

          • Anonattorney :

            Newsflash: eating healthy is good for you. Being healthy and having good self-esteem can actually coincide. I know that we’re all supposed to constantly be telling ourselves that we love ourselves no matter what we look like and what we do, but being healthy still has some intrinsic value. For me, exercising makes me feel better not because it changes the way I look, but because it makes me feel like I’m treating my body well and I’m being proactive about my health. It’s the same with eating healthy. It’s not the fact that eating healthy food will make you lose weight; it’s that by eating healthy you are doing something nice for your body.

            I’ve never felt my best based on the number on the scale. But I do have my best body image when my body is a well-oiled machine – when it feels powerful and fueled by good food. Eating healthy is a HUGE component of that.

          • Anonymous :

            Newsflash: OP is already healthy. And she still feels like a mutant troll and avoids social occasions.

          • How do you get “OP is already healthy” from “my diet isn’t great”?

        • McGiggles :

          Maddie Ross is just telling us / the OP something that works for her. It’s certainly not anything destructive or illegal or whatever, in fact I think it’s good advice and while it may not work for you the OP was asking for suggestions / commiseration which Maddie Ross provided.

        • Baconpancakes :

          It depends on how you look at it. If you look at it as treating your body well, and avoiding junk that will make you feel bad, it takes a little willpower, but it’s actually taking care of yourself, and treating yourself nicely. No one’s saying she should count calories or only have steamed kale. I did the Bon Appetit Cleanse this year, and while it was massively time consuming, sometimes annoying, and expensive, cooking ridiculously healthy, gourmet meals for myself for two weeks felt very luxurious, and I felt good about my choices, the food I was eating, and my body.

          • +1. Assuming this isn’t a self-image type problem for which therapy would help, honestly my only real motivation to work out and eat well is how different I feel when I do vs when I don’t. It’s not about calories consumed or burned; I just focus on how I’ll feel later if I eat x/ don’t work out. And in some instances I feel just fine, so I do it.

            Anyway, I highly encourage you to make improvements to your diet and exercise regimen.

      • thanks for this. i think part of this is that i hate how i look in my clothes. and i have tons of clothes, i’m always buying new clothes! it just sucks to feel like i’m spending quite a bit of money and yet i never feel like it shows.

        • Baconpancakes :

          Well that’s a horse of a different color! Sounds like you need to reevaluate your shopping habits, and find out what makes you feel good to wear. The “clean” eating (not crazy about that term) described above is also probably a good thing to do for a week or so, along with some self-pampering, maybe a facial or massage or just a blowout on Friday to feel great over the weekend.

          I’m not crazy about a lot of her personal style for me, but Angie at You Look Fab has a lot of good tips for figuring out what suits you, both physically and emotionally.

          For a quick fix, start with the bottom. I always feel amazing when I go to my over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder fitter (expensive, small boutique places are generally the best bet) and get a gorgeous lacy one with bottoms to match. I tend to feel beautiful when I’m wearing lacy things, even if I’m wearing a boring ponte dress from Target on top.

        • Not sure whether you’re the OP, but this is probably another piece of the equation that you should pay attention to. Are you buying clothes that don’t fit you? Are you not sure of what flatters your body type? A personal shopper (you know everyone here loves that certain department store…) could help you with that. Are you spending beyond your means? Etc.

          • I’m not really sure what the exact problem is. I definitely have always had issues with not liking my body type. As you can see, I’m not overweight, but I’m short-waisted with wide-ish hips and fairly bus*y… I just feel like most clothes (especially work clothes, I have to wear a suit to work every day and pencil skirts always ride up on me even if they’re the right size and make me feel like my boobs are a shelf and I have no torso) make me look large.

        • A scented Kindle :

          For this problem- always buying and never feeling like I’m looking more put together or nicer- I took some inspiration from French Wardrobe theory. I’m sure the general internet can explain it better, but basically you focus on having a few really good quality staples and you buy only a few new pieces per season. The part that really helped me, though, was that it requires you to really look through your wardrobe and figure out what pieces and elements are missing. What element are you missing that will make you look and feel better? More accessories for a polished look? Structure to show off your body? Pattern? Texture? Tops that will let you avoid frumpy cardigans?

          For me, I found that I kept buying simple, plain colored but high quality sweaters (for years and years). I just couldn’t have enough sweaters and yet I always felt boring and like I had nothing to wear. I realized I should put myself on a sweater moratorium and switch to other elements- textures, a blazer, that would really add variety to my outfits and a pulled- together look.

          It stops the endless shopping because you think “this isn’t in my plan, another sweater won’t make me look better”. It makes you focus on the outfit, not the number of shirts you own.

          • thank you for this, i will definitely look into figuring out what gaps i have in my wardrobe.

    • Anonymous :

      I think people are piling on you for what’s a really normal feeling. I’m about your height and weight, and even though when I put on weight and I know I’m the only one who notices – I’m still noticing it! And when I’m in one of those times things just get magnified (“Ugh I look gross” “They’re going to take selfies at the bar and I always look even bigger than normal in selfies!” “This cardigan was flattering six months ago! Now I have gorilla upper arms”) and I just get trapped in this vicious cycle of being down on myself.

      Things that help mostly involve exercise – but not necessary sweating it out at the gym exercise. I try to get outside and do beautiful and positive things for myself – I’ll go on a hike to watch a sunset, or go for a bike ride down a pretty street, or take up some new interesting exercise class I’ve been meaning to try, like martial arts. I’ll full admit that some of this is to find a way to plug back into the social world (yeah it’s true that I was too down about myself to come along on your beach trip and wear a bikini, but look, I hiked this amazing mountain and check out this view on instagram!) but a lot of it is just surrounding myself with the wonderful things that are around me, getting exercise that doesn’t “feel” like working out and over time, I think it permeates into my body. And it helps that before/during/after doing most of those things, you don’t feel like eating junk too!

      • Just wanted to add another voice to say that I have felt all of these feelings too, including the picture-dread and wanting to avoid events where you feel like everyone else will look cute and your flaws will be highlighted. I suspect this falls somewhere on a spectrum of depression and body dysmorphia, but obviously that should be left to a professional. Therapy aside, I co-sign everything that Anonymous said, and I think moderate but regular exercise is a huge help because it makes you appreciate feeling strong and healthy. Anything else you can do to surround yourself with positivity — upbeat friends (especially those who don’t obsess over their or other peoples’ looks, because the goal is to regain some perspective on how little those things matter), favorite hobbies, even choosing lighter-hearted television/movies/music for awhile until you can right your emotional ship a little bit. And sleep! Always sleep.

        On the clothes issues, I struggle with everything you said including the over-shopping, but maybe you can invest in a tailor instead of new clothes for awhile? Especially for the skirt issue — try going up a size and then having the waist taken in. I too have the short-waisted shelf-ch*st issue — try (modest) v-necks and scoop necks instead of crewnecks, that has helped for me. It’s all just small adjustments as you practice being kind to yourself. When the awful thoughts come in, try to focus on all the good your body does for you, on your health and powerful mind and flexible wrists and healthy nails or whatever it is. It doesn’t always work, but consciously practicing positive self-esteem is a good start.

  5. I have 2 comments in moderation and I have NO idea why- there is no mention of any webs**te, anything racy, it’s about weight/self-esteem issues. Help?

    • Wildkitten :

      My response to you is in moderation too. The rules have become too confusing.

      • What are the rules?

        This moderation is so frustrating I’m going to take a break on posting. When your post doesn’t get cleared for several hours, it is no longer useful for the thread.

        And yes, the moderation has definitely become more restrictive.

        What crazy rules…

    • Baconpancakes :

      I’ve come up against anything with e t t e in it recently, and s i t e.

      • Wildkitten :

        When it makes it through moderation, let me know if you see the problem in my “Wildkitten and the terrible horrible no good very bad week” comment. I can’t figure it out.

        • Moderation Test :

          A day later, so not sure if you’ll see this but I did a test and it seems that “f a t” sends comments to moderation now.

    • This. It’s frustrating that Kat isn’t engaging with us about the guidelines. I saw someone post a few days ago, asking her for insight on what causes moderation, and didn’t see a response. Then again, I’ve noticed that over the last 6 months, she hasn’t really responded to questions in the comments.

  6. Gail the Goldfish :

    Following up on this morning’s discussion of where to buy furniture that’s better than Ikea, what do I look for to tell if something is good quality and what should I expect to pay? I’m looking for a bed (or maybe just a headboard). I live in North Carolina, so I feel like I should probably go to some of the furniture stores in Hickory or High Point, but I would have no idea how to tell if I was getting a good deal or not. Internet research has so far just confused me (Like veneers-apparently not necessarily a sign of lower quality as opposed to solid wood? But how do I know if they’re good veneers or not?) Anyone have any tips on how to know if what you’re buying is good and worth the price? (If anyone has suggestions for NC-specific stores, I’d appreciate that as well!)

    • Here is a helpful article about choosing quality furniture:

    • Anonollama :

      You should visit FurnitureLand South, if for no other reason than to marvel over acres of furniture of all kinds. Otherwise, there are lots of worthy places in all the major cities. I live in Raleigh and there are one or two places that are still dedicated to Made in NC furniture, which is only now starting to make a resurgence after leaving the state after its prime many years ago. Otherwise, we found great products at Home Comfort, Ethan Allen, Kirk Imports (mid-high range), in addition to the Ashley’s and RoomStores (low-mid range) of the world. We even come across some interesting stuff at Heavner (the TJ Maxx of furniture). Take a ride to Zebulon for the unique and heirloom quality at Whitley Furniture Galleries. I always get the impression from readers here that furniture shopping and selection is harder to come across in Very Big Cities (for example, I don’t know many local people who do their heavy furniture shopping at department stores or mall stores like Restoration Hardware), but independent furniture places just cannot be missed in this state. Good luck!

      • Anon for this - High Pointer :

        Definitely visit Furniture Land South if you go to HP for furniture. Anonollama is right – it’s so fun to marvel over the acres of fun shiny new furniture. Then after you’ve marveled over it and sipped Starbucks from the coffee shop inside the store, go to the Clearance Center in the back parking lot. That’s where you get the deals. I’d also suggest visiting the Habitat Resale Store in HP if you go. They get market samples and overstocks there. Not only are they new and cheap, but it benefits Habitat, too.

        To be fair, there used to be way more good furniture shopping in HP than there is now. A lot of the places that have showrooms only open them during Furniture Market in October and April and you have to be an industry insider to shop.

        It’s more of a drive from the part of NC where you are, but Mitchell Gold + Bob Williams has an outlet in Hickory which is to die for.

      • Gail the Goldfish :

        I’m actually in Raleigh (we should have a triangle-area meet up!). Any suggestions for specific non-chain local stores in Raleigh? I’m always tempted to stop in some of the warehouse-looking stores on Capital Blvd that I see on my way downtown, but something about them just makes them look like they’re sketchy…

        • Anonollama :

          My favorite was Kirk Imports off of Hwy 70 near the other furniture stores. Not sure if that’s a chain, but the furniture was high quality, yet not excessively priced. I bought my bedroom set there.

      • +1 for Furnitureland South. You can get a huge perspective on what is out there – and basically customize anything you want. My parents had a great experience in purchasing furniture. I was going to give a recommendation for a local High Point store that I purchased from years ago, but it looks like they went out of business.

      • OMG YES. I am sitting on my amazing couch from Furnitureland South RIGHT THIS VERY MINUTE.

  7. Moving Out :

    Y’all, I need help. My boyfriend and I have been living together for the past almost 3 years and I’m seriously thinking about moving out when our lease is up. Last week, we had a talk about how I felt like I really annoy him sometimes and how that’s just a really sucky feeling to have. I asked what he thought about me possibly moving out and he said he didn’t know/care so I started looking for a place to live come fall. Since that talk, our interactions have been much better and when I mentioned that I received a reply to one of my inquiries today, he seemed surprised that I’m still planning on moving out. Part of me wants to stay because I know we do have a lot of happy times, but the other part knows these feelings will come back again (I’ve contemplated moving out a few times before, but never acted on it) and I’ll regret having missed out on a good time frame (when our lease is coming to a close). I guess I just need advice or something. I haven’t talked to my friends about it because I don’t want to alarm anyone just yet. To be clear, I don’t want to end the relationship, I just feel like we need some time to live apart since we went from long distance right to living together.

    • Anonattorney :

      Hmm, that’s a tricky one. I think based on your track record (feeling like moving out multiple times, he didn’t give you a good response when you initially raised the issue) you should probably follow your gut and get your own place when the lease ends. Maybe look for something month-to-month, and keep working a bit on the relationship and see what happens?

    • Wildkitten :

      I think moving out so you can get some time and space to yourself while you continue to date him seems like a great idea. I think living alone is an important part of adulthood/relationships.I know a couple who went from long distance to living together and the girl moved out for a while and now they are married. Can you find a place that is affordable by yourself? I would sign a one year lease (or less). I think that’s a good amount of time to figure yourself out, and re-evaluate.

      • Anonattorney :

        +1! We’re mind-melding today, Wildkitten.

      • Moving Out :

        I’m looking at places with roommates. Part of that is that I moved to this city to be with him and I still haven’t developed my own social circle. I think living with other women my age would help that. The other part is that it’s expensive to live alone in the locations I like.

        • Wildkitten :

          I’ll allow it. :-)

        • Orangerie :

          I don’t mean to be cynical but moving in with random roommates doesn’t necessarily mean you will become friends with them. It certainly can happen, but I wouldn’t count on it otherwise you might be disappointed.

          • Wildkitten :

            But it’s a good way to meet more people – because you meet your roommates and you also meet the people your roommates know.

          • Gail the Goldfish :

            Yep. I had a roommate for 2 years once. At the end of it, I still knew nothing about her. We never even had a single meal together. (Though admittedly, this is probably an odd exception).

    • Anne Shirley :

      Why don’t you want to end the relationship? After 3 years things have gotten worse and you’re less close. You told him you were thinking of moving out and he didn’t care. You know who doesn’t care if you move out ? A guy who’s not that into you and doesn’t really care if you’re in his life. If you want a fairly casual relationship, great. If you were hoping to become closer and eventually get married, break up because it’s not happening with him.

      • +1. What you said was concerning to me. I’d seriously reevaluate ending the relationship.

      • Wildkitten :

        Moving out is a good way to be able to re-evaluate the relationship from a different vantage point.

  8. Anonymous :

    Did anyone else read the book “The Circle” by Dave Eggers? Ever since I read that Fitbits seem really sinister to me.

    • Yes, indeed it gives a sinister cast to many products and services we have. I hope the book is assigned in high school English classes at some point, because it’s heavy-handed enough for anyone to get but is also pretty articulate as a comment on the tradeoffs we make with technology and privacy.

      • Sydney Bristow :

        That is a great suggestion!

      • I would love to see it added to the list in schools. I didn’t grow up in a tech cloud like the youth of today. I love and embrace technology but I thought The Circle raised some necessary skepticism.

    • Yup. Never getting a Fitbit.

    • I haven’t yet but I’m generally very uncomfortable with how much we are tracked in our daily lives and it’s definitely a concern. Just the other day I looked at a dresser on the Pottery Barn website and then got an email the next day that it was still available. Mind you I wasn’t signed into PB or anything like that — very creepy.

      I’ve actually never really understood the appeal of the fitbit at all (because if you want to walk more, can’t you just do that without a tracker?) but then I recently read a David Sedaris essay in the New Yorker about his fitbit experience and it really made me want to get one. Now I am very torn…

      For anyone else interested:

      • Really? I read that article when it came out and immediately thought it was great in how it made fun of fitbit wearers. It’s always seemed pointless to me too.

    • A Nonny Moose :

      I did and don’t get your apprehension. Unless you don’t have a smartphone or gps or credit cards… Those things could tell someone who wanted to know about you and who had the capabilities to break into technology much more about you than a f it b it. I am not trying to be snarky, just don’t understand what makes a f it b it so bad.

    • Just read the excerpt that was published last fall in the NY Times magazine. I agree this would be a great read for high school English classes.

    • anon prof :

      These cameras that people wear that take a picture every 30 seconds are at least as bad. I hate that we don’t have a right to privacy such that people have to get our consent to wear one of those around us.

  9. Just wanted to thank everyone for the advice re furniture today. I bookmarked the thread to reference while I check out some of the suggestions, most of which were new to me.

    On the new vs. used point, just to add my perspective since I’m not sure anyone is still on the morning thread – current furnishings are almost all a mix of leftovers from my parents’ and grandparents’ homes (nothing valuable or sentimental, just items that got replaced along the way as they upgraded just as I’m doing now). Plus a few additions from Target. My parents were awesome and helped me paint many of the pieces so that they looked more cohesive and not a bunch of random different woods, ages, leg styles, etc. So, I’m willing / have been happily living with old furniture for the last decade. However, they’re all very apartment-scale in size (great for now, but would look dinky in a house) and I’d rather start upgrading gradually so we’re ready when it’s time to move to a larger home.

    While I’d be glad to find the odd bargain on C-list or estate sales, at the risk of sounding obnoxious I have more money to throw at this (with plenty in the retirement and vacation budgets) than I do time (as some of you guessed), so my plan is to purchase some key, central pieces first and new (where it will be a focal point of the room and I really want to find something I love, like bed, desk for working at home, sofa) and then gradually fill in other pieces over time with a mix of new / old. Goal is to stay on a reasonable budget and to avoid looking like I ordered a whole room as-is straight from a catalog.

    Anyway, thanks again to all and happy hunting to me!

    • I have a very similar philosophy to you for furniture: more money than time + want well-build pieces. I love reading blogs like Little Green Notebook where she does AMAZING restorations to CL pieces, but I have neither the talent, time, nor the open space to do that.

      I recently purchased a “real” (i.e., not IKEA) bed from Room and Board, and it was an amazing purchase that I am super happy with. It’s sturdy and well-made. It’s totally a focal point piece and I can build all my other bedroom furniture around it.

  10. DC Wonkette :

    FYSA – These sold out within minutes of the announcement, and Tory Burch doesn’t know when more will come in…

  11. Posted a question a while ago about vacation booking with a child on the way and got some surprising answers. I really don’t believe that all you ladies who have had babies stayed at home on vacation until your kids were twelve or only travel on hour long trips to see your in-laws or only went on Disney Cruises. :p

    Anyway, the advice has steered me clear from extended train trips and two stop vacations. In late May will going to Monaco. There will be beach (for husband and baby), good food, an awesome aquarium and a great park. Very excited. There will also be Grand Prix and Casino and we will have childcare for baby on those days. Thanks for the help!

    • That sounds amazing. The most memorable holidays I had as a child were three weeks in Australia when I was 6 and again when I was 12, bouncing all over the country but both times spending nearly a week in one place in the middle of the three weeks over Christmas, and memories of the gite in France we went to a few summers in a row with family friends when I was around 4-7ish. Also learning to ski – but, the ‘best’ trip I went on with my family as a kid was to China the summer of the Olympics when I was 14. My parents then decided that me and my younger brother were old enough to see the less prepared-and-shiny side of the countries we were visiting, which equipped me to visit relatives in India by myself the summer I was 16, and not be at all dazed by the sketchy stuff I’ve seen since. (yep, I’m aware I’m incredibly privileged)

    • Anonymous :

      No one said only disney cruises til 12! People said maybe don’t plan adventure travel and train trips with an infant.

    • Anonymous :

      My mom (who was in banking and traveled a lot for work) took me as a six month old to and from Europe every other week for work. We also took yearly trips to her home country and road trips across the USA (I have two siblings, both younger) and, as we got older, more trips to “unfamiliar” destinations. I’m sure it’s tough to travel with kids but I will say that it added *so much* value to my life and I hope I can prioritize it when I am a parent.

      • Wildkitten :

        I went camping at national parks at 6 weeks old. I don’t know what the sleeping set-up was, but I survived.

        • Yeah my parents took me camping when I was 6 months. They just gave me a bath in Donner Lake.

    • Spring on the Côte d’Azur is great. That part of the coast is very well-connected by local trains, so if you are at all mobile with the babe, you can do day-trips to Antibes, Nice and various perched villages (Roquebrune, Ezes) within a 30-min ride.

      Just keep an eye out for the May calendar which has a bunch of public holidays in France, when businesses shut and weekender traffic to the resort towns surges. Also Monaco on GP weekend isn’t exactly restful – at least be sure to lock in your accommodation costs if you haven’t already.

    • My perception of Monaco is perhaps too-colored by movies, but I think of myself as too poor and downmarket to set foot in Monaco (and I’m a partner in a law firm). Never mind my usually well-behaved pre-schoolers. YOU CAN GO TO MONACO? WITH KIDS? My mind is exploding: can I re-enact To Catch a Thief?

      FWIW, I travel with children all the time and did my first car trip with a 5-week old. Plan for disaster: 8 hour layovers, enough clothing changes for a couple of exploding diapers, carry any food if your child doesn’t yet eat french fries; you cannot carry too many diapers or wipes. Try to trouble shoot the plans you make. Ziplock bags are your friends; sometimes you need to BYO bendy straws. Never risk running out of food or clothes and you should largely be fine.


      • Sure. It’s dirt cheap in April as well. We will probably never go again hence booking for Formula One.

        I find a lot of people raise eyebrows about how my husband and I travel. We own a house, we pay our student loans, no debt, we live modestly. Travel is for everyone I believe.. People with kids, people who are young, people who just need a break.

        It’s your life and it is too short to spend it thinking about what people think of you.

  12. Ugh. Came here looking for comments on the Fitbit post. Instead, I came away with a whole bunch of threadjacks and non-related posts. I thought you were cracking down on threadjacking but it seems it’s getting worse.

    • Threadjacks are permitted on morning and afternoon threads, with the midday post having a note explicitly requesting no threadjacks.

    • Wildkitten :

      I emailed my work friends about the fitbit earlier this week so I didn’t have that much left to say, but I’ll say it here for you. I like the bracelet, but it’s pretty expensive considering I don’t love it. It’s great if you’re at a job where wearing a fitbit isn’t acceptable – I actually think this would’ve been a bigger deal like 2 years ago, because I think now everyone thinks wearing a Jawbone Up is business formal. I hope they open fitbit up to more designers, the way Apple has done with iPhones and iPads – I’d love to see what Kate Spade and Michael Kors can do with a fitbit.

    • You’re welcome to just ask your fitbit question.

  13. Fitbits have been discussed quite a bit in the comments in the past and this post is just a prettier, but more expensive way to wear one. I’m not sure what kind of comments you were hoping to find but you can always start a post-specific discussion.

    Edit: This was in reply to annoyed above.

    • Wildkitten :

      Have they been discussed by folks besides Ellen? Quality v. quantity there.

      • :) ELLEN definitely loves her Fitbit. Still, there has been a lot of non-Ellen Fitbit discussion and Kat did a Coffee Break post on the Fitbit Force Wireless Activity + Sleep Wristband back in Dec.

        Links to follow to try to avoid moderation.

      • thiss!te/2013/12/12/fitbit-force-wireless-activity-sleep-wristband/

        Oh, and there is/was a Fitbit group for thiss!te.

  14. Killer Kitten Heels :

    Late to the party, but there are a ton of custom-made, really pretty, business-acceptable bracelets for the Fitbit Flex on Etsy that are much, much less expensive than this option. My personal fave is a shop called Ciarba, but there’s also great options at Purplexia, FitFinery, and FUNKtionalWearables. All sell cute options for less than $50 (and mostly less than $30).

    • Wildkitten :

      I love that this is happening. FUNKtional does a good job concealing the fitbit. The others just look like hacked up flexes (and I wanted this one to be pretty so badly:

    • +1 for FitFinery. I have one of the pearl beaded bracelets.

  15. Moderation Test :

    Edit: Apparently “f a t” sends comments to moderation now.

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