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And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
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Happy Friday everyone!
Housecounsel
Cadbury eggs. I gave up sweets for Lent and plan to eat a whole bag of these myself. Judge away, Anon.
Housecounsel
oops this was for the “What are you looking forward to this weekend?” post!
Good Morning!
ROFL it fits here too!
Anon
I so wish I could get some Cadbury eggs. My instacart shopper struck out and told me they were her favorite too, with a sad emoji.
anon
pretty grateful for my union at this time.
AnonATL
Y’all I’m supposed to be pseudo-furloughed to halftime for half pay, but I have worked more than 9 hour days every day this week..
I mean yeah be grateful you have a job, and I am. I just feel like I’m starting to be taken advantage of and people aren’t respecting what is supposed to be my time. I also feel like with recent layoffs and furloughs we have descended into complete and utter chaos. Everything is time sensitive. Everyone is running in different directions. Everyone wants to help so much on everything that it is just a disorganized mess.
That is all. Sorry. At least I have a paycheck for now.
Happy Friday!
Anonymous
Don’t do it! Stop today.
Anon
Agree with this. OP, some things only stop when you stop them. Obviously you don’t want to burn bridges, but after you work your 4-5 hours, whatever seems reasonable to you, I would just sign off/out and stop checking your work email. Don’t say “I’m logging off,” just do it. Some companies are absolutely going to use this as an opportunity to get full-time work with part-time pay from people who are scared of losing their jobs. That only works if people allow it.
AnonATL
I think that’s where I am now mentally. If I push back too much, I might be the next on the chopping block.
I’m wrapping up the last call of the day (that started at 7:30 ET), and then I’m off. Thanks for the virtual courage.
At the time I accepted the conditions, I figured it’s better to have a part-time job than no job for a variety of personal reasons, but it’s not working out to be that simple in practice. People know I’m only supposed to be mornings.. it doesn’t stop them, but neither do I. One “quick” question answered in the afternoon turns into hours of work.
Anon
What happens in this scenario? Can you apply to unemployment for the other half of your pay? I think I’d rather be furloughed than half pay but I don’t make six figures.
Anonymous
under most state laws you cannot apply for unemployment if you are still being paid.
Anonymous
Actually you now can. This is partial unemployment due to covid-19 and many people are eligible in these circumstances.
Anonymous
Which really annoys me because I’ve been long-term unemployed (not by choice), and I was recently denied unemployment because I have the ability to telecommute. Except telecommute jobs are few and far between, with a healthy competition from stay-at-home workforce, which I am not. #Frustration
sleep
Thank you for the hand sanitizer link! We are running out of our cleaning supplies/hand sanitizer and am trying to buy online only since Docs have told us not to shop in stores now.
Anon
Ditto! I just ordered one for me and one for a friend. The store army knew a referral code, so if anyone is still reading and planning to order some, this should give you a $5 discount:
http://i.refs.cc/BuEdVY84?smile_ref=eyJzbWlsZV9zb3VyY2UiOiJzbWlsZV91aSIsInNtaWxlX21lZGl1bSI6IiIsInNtaWxlX2NhbXBhaWduIjoicmVmZXJyYWxfcHJvZ3JhbSIsInNtaWxlX2N1c3RvbWVyX2lkIjo0NzA5NTkwMTZ9
Anon100
Haven’t heard from our Quarantine Couple poster for a bit (hope you’re doing alright!) but I came across this BBC article yesterday: https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20200406-coronavirus-isolation-is-creating-new-love-under-lockdown
Anon
What are you doing this weekend that you’re looking forward to? I’m planning to watch a feel-good movie, go for a long run, start a crochet project, and read a book outside.
Anon
Dropping off (no contact) easter baskets to a few friends in my neighborhood. Most of us have local family, but are unable to see them this year (which I think stings more than living far away and knowing you won’t see them – I’ve done both).
emeralds
A blind beer tasting my husband is putting together for me from our grocery store’s pick 6 offerings. (I did one for him last weekend.) Other than that, we’re going to watch Onward and we’re doing a fancy Zoom Easter lunch with his family.
Clementine
We’re baking Hot Cross Buns and doing an egg hunt for the kids.
I’m really looking forward to doing ‘Happy Hour’ for the family tonight with appetizers and ‘cocktails’. (Okay, so cocktails are often just seltzer with fruit in them for the kids, but I put them in fancy cups with straws and we refer to them as ‘cocktails’.)
Anonymous
Wine. I gave it up for Lent. Can not wait until Sunday.
NOLA
When I gave up chocolate for Lent, I ate an entire bag of chocolate during the early service that Easter Sunday morning. Giving things up for me encourages binging when it’s over!
Anon
I’m impressed you kept up with it! Once this started, I figured that dealing with Covid was enough Lent for me this year!
Housecounsel
I tend to do this, too, and any strategies for not (too late to give up giving up on sweets) would be much appreciated.
Anonymous
A long walk with my increasingly depressed BF. I am hoping sunlight and fresh air will help him snap out of it.
Anon
Make it a regular thing. As someone with recurrent depression, outside and exercise both help a LOT but it’s got to be recurrent to keep things even keel. Good luck. And hugs to both of you.
Anon
Wow, my writing is going downhill fast. Please excuse the double use of recurrent. Sigh.
Anonymous
Thank you for your kind response. I am hoping I can encourage him to make it part of a routine. He isn’t working but I am, so he has a lot of empty time he doesn’t seem to know how to use.
Anon
It takes awhile for people who are used to working to adjust to not working. My husband and I have both been through layoffs and the first 2 weeks to a month are really surreal. l started working when I was 15, so when I got laid off at 35 I had been working for 20 years and not having any income coming in (other than unemployment, which takes a couple weeks to start) was panic-inducing. I quickly realized that having some kind of routine that included outdoor physical exercise made a huge difference – my mood was noticeably worse when I didn’t exercise outside. My husband (who was laid off at a different time) figured out the same thing. So, just give it time; your boyfriend will figure some things out. It takes time but he’ll likely get there soon.
anon
I’m looking forward to watching Not Downton Abbey (“belgravia”) on amazon prime on Sunday! Also going to bake a loaf of challah and an Easter egg hunt with the kids – our first year outside, as we relocated somewhere warm!
CPA Lady
I bought a kazoo and I’m going to record myself playing Episcopalian Easter hymns on it. Because I’m classy like that.
Also getting myself and my kid dressed up in our Easter outfits and doing an Easter egg hunt in the yard. And eating a bunch of deviled eggs and ham biscuits and asparagus.
Anon
Oh would LOVE to hear Jesus Christ is Risen Today and All Glory Laud and Honor on a kazoo!
NOLA
I messed up my knee trying to run and I am trying to figure out how to exercise and not destroy my knees without throwing too much $$ at the problem. Looking at used ellipticals on Marketplace, but that scares me and looking at possibly ordering something. I got a cortisone shot in my knee on Wednesday and a lecture from the orthopedic PA about how I overdid it on running. So today, the dude is off (he NEVER knows when he is off for holidays) and he has decided to fire up his smoker. I am going down there for the day and he has promised to bring me drinks and food on the sofa while I rest my knee. I tend to lose weight during the week on my own (eating schedule all off) so I plan to eat meat and chips and dip and chocolate and day drink (probably vodka and grapefruit). On Sunday, I am singing for the church’s online service and I’m looking forward to that. I get to wear a dress! Last night, when our choir usually gets together for dinner after the Maundy Thursday service, we had a Zoom party and it was incredible to see everyone. One of my wonderful singing colleagues has a lot of time on her hands and has offered to make some deliveries for me while I am laid up with the knee and a few of the choir ladies offered to make masks for me (I only have one). I am really trying to be on break and not work! That didn’t work yesterday but today, well, day drinking should solve that, right?
NOLA
Oh and hoping to find the time to install my new cable equipment (still in the box) and *maybe* finally fix my wireless printer. A few days off and so much to do…
pugsnbourbon
+1 to vodka and grapefruit.
Also – not sure of the specifics of your knee injury, but rowing machines are a great low-impact workout. They tend to be $$$ though unless you buy used, which may not be advisable at this moment in time.
NOLA
I have had surgery for meniscus tears on both knees. The cartilage in my left knee is messed up and I stopped getting gel shots because I was doing well. It’s just overuse on an already crappy knee. Looking into other options
Anon
Learnt basic sewing last week. Excited to see masks for friends and donation..
Anonymous
We are making a nice dinner that we plan to eat while dressed in something other than bathrobes. We have also started sunset sit, which is taking a few minutes each weekend night to sit on the balcony, drink a glass of wine, and toast to surviving another day in the pandemic. (I hope I did not jinx us, it’s been 7 days since our last IRL shop and we still have another week to go before it feels like we survived.)
Anon
Love the sunset sit idea and the idea to toast to making it another day!
Senior Attorney
Our washer and dryer have been on the fritz due to an electrical problem that Hubby plans to fix this weekend. (I told him not to mess with electrical things while alone in the house during the week, lest he electrocute himself and be unable to call for help.) So, strangely, I am looking forward to doing laundry.
NOLA
Eeeeeek be careful! Nobody wants to go to the emergency room right now!
Mary
I am headed into the home stretch on my knitting project (Laura Nelkin’s Novel-T) and I should be wearing it soon! I will also plant a little square foot garden and sleep in a bit.
Anonymous
We are going to color eggs and have an egg hunt in the backyard and then grill dinner. I went back and forth on whether to do eggs since they are rationing them in our stores, but my mom had an extra 18 pack that she said she didn’t want so she left them on the porch for me to pick up. I told her to keep her eggs but she insisted. We usually do a big egg hunt with all the cousins, so I am feeling sad this year that we won’t be able to do that. My son is about the age where this will probably be the last year he wants to participate.
anne-on
My son is fully aware there is no easter bunny and still asked for an egg hunt this year since it ‘would be fun and silly’. So you never know!
Small Law Partner
Long runs, making salsa, making gingerbread with fresh cream (I don’t care it is spring).
Watching a movie or two and continuing to watch this Norwegian show in HBO, Beforeigners. Recommended.
Also have a video chat with a friend while we watch and comment on 90 day fiance episodes.
AnonMom
Any tips on lowering expectations towards your spouse?
An aunt used to joke how my generation is unhappy because we expect too much and I’m wondering if adjusting expectations is the key. DH and I have a highly non-equitable relationship. I do 90% of cooking, cleaning and childcare and life admin. His life-admin efforts are limits are limited to making the online transfers for rent, school fee and utility bills and folding laundry every 5-6 times.
We both technically work full time. I have strong work-life boundaries, he has none.
We’ve tried talking about him contributing more effort at home, tasks he could own, times he could be “primary” but none of this has worked. The covid situation has only exacerbated the situation. Our attempts to fix the situation result in even more frustration because he over-promises and under-delivers, 100%of the time, rather, he creates more work for me. He blames all errors and accidents in bad luck and gets frustrated that his efforts aren’t appreciated (breaking a grocery bag by overloading it, causing bathroom to flood by cleaning the sink with a handshower, cooking something inedible to pamper me)
So I want to lower expectations and really learn to appreciate that he is trying, irrespective of the outcome. And be okay if he puts in no effort. Not because I think that is fair, but because I think it is something I can do that will help my happiness. So any tips?
Anon
He’s going to get better over time the more he does something. You need to let him fail some to learn, particularly if he has to deal with his own consequences. If he floods the bathroom cleaning it, he has to deal with the flood. He probably won’t make that mistake twice. Try to just stay out of those situations so you don’t get frustrated.
Anonymous
No tips. Sometimes I wish that we could run families like work, with annual reviews (even at the general “meets expectations” “doesn’t meet expectations” level). Some people could do with a warning that they are not on track for partner or being put on a PIP.
In all honesty, I don’t mind being the family CEO as no one else is suited for it. But the “lead, follow, or get out of the way” mantra seems to be true everywhere in this world. It’s OK not to lead. But it’s not OK to be in the way.
Easy thing to do: not spouses’s laundry. Not kids laundry if they can remotely assist (and if they can’t do the whole thing, they should help with what they can: put white clothes from dirty clothes in laundry bin, take sheets off of bed, put clean clothes away, help them learn how to put things on hangers).
Anon
+1 I do all my and my kids laundry, but have always not done his. It’s a small thing that doesn’t balance but….
Senior Attorney
Amen to this. Doing your spouse’s personal laundry is not a household task — it’s a personal care task that appropriately falls on him.
Anonymous
We did once a year (anniversary of engagement) had a meeting and made a written agreement for the following year, and went out to lunch or dinner the following day. Now widowed and trying to institute a similar arrangement with myself – things I want / must get done the following year.
anon
Divide up chores wholesale by category and let him fail. Men tend to be VERY GOOD at doing things they don’t want to do poorly because most of their lives someone has just stepped in and taken over. I’ve actually learned to do this professionally, if there are low value tasks I don’t want to do, I do them poorly and find they never get assigned to me again. Do not fall for this. Put him in charge of certain things and do not step in/comment on/help/whatever. Yes, he will fail a few times but he’ll figure it out eventually. Make yourself completely unavailable when he is doing his assigned tasks. You are not his manager. He needs to figure out how to do these things on his own and if you correct or fix he will literally never figure it out.
Just don’t put him in charge of anything that you’ll truly be upset if he gets wrong. Example, I do my own laundry because I like my clothes. Husband has shrunk things, not gotten stains out, accidentally dyed white things pink, but he eventually figured out how to do things correctly. It’s 2020, Google and YouTube exist
Vicky Austin
+1. Especially “letting him fail.”
Housecounsel
I do not mean to doubt what you describe, but am only telling you my own experience. I feel like this about my husband at times. I feel like much of what I do is invisible to him. It is. But much of what he does is invisible to me. He handles all the financial stuff, both for our family and for his parents, who are in separate facilities. He does all the yard work (this frustrates me because it is so easily outsourced, but it is a point of pride for him). He buys and maintains the cars. If anything is broken, he fixes it. He does home maintenance stuff that I don’t even know has to be done.
All that said, the season of life/parenthood matters a lot. I had so much resentment about inequity when the kids were small. Now that they are older it matters much less.
PolyD
I always think it’s funny when wives say the balance of work is fair because the husband takes care of the cars and the finances. I am single and take care of my car and finances and also manage to do laundry, cook, and clean up. My boyfriend (we live separately) also manages to take care of his car and finances and cook, do his own laundry, and clean. Car care and finances generally don’t need to be attended to every day, cooking and cleaning does, and I’d wager the laundry needs to be done more frequently than the car needs to be taken to the mechanic.
If there are children involved, it’s a whole different story.
anon
I agree with all of this. As someone who deals with the finances, I can tell you it’s a fraction of the time/mental energy that household work is.
anon
I agree that not all chores are equal in the time and timeliness they require. But there are other factors, too. I would procrastinate getting the car checked endlessly, DH does it promptly which I appreciate. He is generally less fussy with one-off errands. They might be one-off, but if I do them, I’ll waste endless time over researching price, model, which small business in my town has them in stock, bla bla bla. He just goes to small business, and will order online if it’s not in stock. Done. We might pay $5 more, but we can afford it and it frees up mind space for me.
sleep
But you do realize that these tasks for him are super easy and it even sounds like they give him pleasure.
Cleaning a house, doing laundry…… will NEVER give me pleasure, be super easy for me. They wont be for him either. So he needs to share that lovely experience. I somehow suspect that you in addition do all of the mental energy organizing that may be a better equivalent to his car/lawn maintenance.
So even if doing those things relieves mental burden for you, he is likely not doing his share.
anon
re anon@11:17, I’m the anon with the errand-running husband. If we’re going to count the unpleasant chores more, then I’d get no points for cooking (which I enjoy) and I’d have to examine whether grocery shopping can count as a chore. I don’t mind toilet cleaning nearly as much as DH (how can you find a spray-scrub-wipe-two-minute job so overwhelming?), but I think taking advantage of which chores are easier and less unpleasant for one partner, is basically the economic principle of comparative advantage.
I’m pretty happy with our division of chores, including mental load. DH does more than errands, but errands are an example of a task that’s much easier for him, and it would balloon if I did it.
Anon
I agree with Housecounsel on a couple of points. This is such a stereotypical male/female set up I am going to make myself cringe… but, my husband takes care of ALL things IT in our house. I have no idea how things are set up, why we have what service provider we do that he researched at length, what to do when a virus pops up, etc etc. But that sure is easy to forget when I’m angrily folding laundry, because that is so much less visible to me. I’m not saying it evens out, but I’d does make me feel better when I remember, which is ultimately what the OP is asking for.
Also, OP doesn’t say how old her kids are. Agreed with Housecounsel it does get better. I remember angrily making chore lists when my kids were babies/super small, but now that our kids are in the 5 year old range it is definitely a lot better.
Finally, OP, I know this is a privileged position but: house cleaner. Unclear if you have one in non-quarantine life. Ours only comes every 3 weeks and it’s fine, and in between we barely scrub anything. This relieves SO much of what we would otherwise be angry about. Potentially cheaper than therapy, and probably more effective.
Anon
“I remember angrily making chore lists when my kids were babies/super small, but now that our kids are in the 5 year old range it is definitely a lot better.”
I totally agree. I was never angrier at my husband than when our son was little. It seemed like absolutely everything fell on me and we fought a lot. When our son started elementary school it got better and now our son is a teenager and it’s hard for me to remember the details of those angry times, because the workload is so much less. This too shall pass, OP, but it is worth doing what you need to do to feel like things are more balanced in the short term.
Anon
This is what we’re doing with my teenage son – making it clear that if he does things poorly or fails, that doesn’t mean we’re taking away the task – and it’s working. He tried to get out of learning to wash dishes by doing a bad job and my husband just looked at the dishes and said “congrats, you just bought yourself another hour of dishwashing because you have to do this over” and walked away. Guess what, next time son had to do the dishes, they were done the right way. OP, if your husband messes something up, just look at it, shrug, say “good luck with that” and walk away. It seems callous and unsupportive but the alternative is, you keep doing everything forever and continue feeling resentful about it.
My husband fortunately came to me pre-trained by his mother on most things but we did still have to do some negotiation and consensus-building on how things needed to be. Outsourcing some things helped with this. About 15 years ago I got tired of doing all the housecleaning, and we hired a housekeeper. That resolved 90% of the arguments about cleaning the house, how clean the house needed to be, etc. She ended up creating a standard my husband liked and now he understands the value of keeping the house at a certain level of “clean.” I realize now is not a good time to start outsourcing, but once we come through this Covid situation, you might want to think about what you can outsource: can you get a housekeeper, get grocery or meal kit delivery, send the laundry out? The only way to stop doing everything yourself is to stop doing everything yourself. That doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to get your husband to do things, but you can at least ease your own burden.
anne-on
My son is being introduced to chores now and we’re trying the carrot method first – he HAS to clean to a certain level of clean and if he does so without being prompted he gets extra screen time. A just OK job where I send him back to take care of forgotten areas? No punishment (other than doing it again) but also no reward.
Fwiw I did write down and share a list of what I consider to be ‘clean’ so he knew what was expected of him (no, it did not occur to him to take his trophies off his bookshelf or dust his trophies before he windexed it, no he didn’t realize electronics/sockets/air vents needed to be dusted or they can be a fire hazard or bad for his asthma, etc. etc.). Hopefully he goes into the world moderately self-sufficient!
anon
When my husband and I are giving advice to couples about to get married, we also say “LOW EXPECTATIONS.” That said, keep them reasonable. You do not need to clean up after his mistakes, or even care what he blames them on. If he overloads a grocery bag, he can clean up the groceries and replace the groceries. If he blames the fates when he’s upset about it, who cares? Say, “Oh that’s stinks babe” as he cleans it up.
I think some responsibilities need to become entirely his. While he takes them over, you need to accept that his way of doing whatever it is will be different than your way, and that he will probably be bad at whatever it is while he learns. I always say, the first step of becoming a great cook is a willingness to cook a ton of bad food at first!
Take a moment to think about your responsibilities. Which things do you dislike? Pass them off to him. In my house, I wash dishes as little as humanly possible because I irrationally hate them. I rarely go to the grocery store, though I do all the cooking. I do not criticize how my husband does these things, I just appreciate not doing them.
Finally, in a good marriage, both people give 100% though often not in the same way. Is he giving 100% to your family and your marriage? If you don’t feel that way, you need to address that directly with him.
Anonymous
No. Why would you spend your life as his maid? Don’t lower your expectations start making divorce plans. Do you really want your children growing up thinking this is normal?
anon
Yeah the husband sounds …not very bright. I’m stunned by the level of incompetence at performing basic tasks. And I’m so sad for OP who thinks this is the best she can hope for.
Anon
My knee jerk reaction when someone in my family complains they’re not good at something: “You just need more practice!”
If you’re bad at wrapping presents, you get to wrap every present for a year until you’re good at it. If you’re bad at planning meals, you get to take over grocery and meal prep duty. If you are bad at laundry, you do towels and sheets too. If you don’t know how to change the oil in a car, you take it to the shop for a year.
I did not wake up and suddenly know how to wash sheets. I was taught, or I had to do it often enough, so I figured it out. Adult women are not naturally better at household items. If a man can look at the grass and notice he should mow it in the next few days, he is also capable of looking at the dishwasher and noticing he should run it before the next meal. I refuse to allow ineptitude as an excuse. Stop holding men and children (particularly boys) to lower standards. They’re just as capable at sewing on their own damn buttons.
Vicky Austin
Damn, this is good!
Go for it
Agreed!
Anon
AMEN to your last paragraph! I had a man-child ex-boyfriend who constantly said “men can’t see messes” or “men don’t know how to do laundry”. Uh, do you think just because I have two x chromosomes I was born knowing this?
Anon.
Amen!
anon
I’m working on this too, I don’t think it’s a bad idea to lower expectations. But I tend to think of it in terms of “remember how unhappy I am when I start fussing about this?” That’s true for expectations on DH, but also true for the way I set unrealistic standards for myself.
I will echo everyone else who suggests letting them live with the consequences of their attempts. But, if he’s genuinely trying and doesn’t know how, I will offer cleaning lessons just like cooking lessons. Sometimes that means an inspection after he tries to clean the bathroom for guests, sometimes it means suggesting the best tools. But it depends totoally on him convincing me that he’s making a good-faith effort.
anne-on
I bought this for first au pair years ago, it is quite helpful to ‘teach’ things I thought everyone knew by the time they hit 18 (common sense is not so common obviously):
https://www.amazon.com/Useful-Book-Life-Skills-Teach/dp/0761171738/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1586529432&sr=8-5
Other than that, yes, give him sole responsibility for things, do not step in to fix it, and let him learn. Heck, assign him things WITH a child, let them both figure it out together – life lessons skills for everyone!
Anonymous
Depends on what you mean by “lowering expectations.” Lower your expectations for how much he should contribute? Nope. Let him be 100% in charge of “his” tasks without micromanaging? Yes.
CPA Lady
Two things:
– every time my husband asked me a basic question about what to do or how to do something with our new baby, I would respond “do whatever you would do if I weren’t here.” Did he get irritated? Yes. Did he always do everything the way I would have told him to do it? No. But he figured it out on his own and everything worked out fine.
– we had a big overarching conversation about household management and chores where I explained what I wanted was for him to TAKE INITIATIVE with household tasks. This is a concept pretty much all men understand from the workplace. Invisible labor or emotional labor is not really something they (broadly speaking) seem to grasp. But they understand you want them to look around and see what needs to be done and do it without being asked or told. If after you have this conversation, and he doesnt get his act together and just expects you to be his maid while he sits around uselessly, then yeah, either make peace with that if you decide its worth the price of admission or get divorced.
Anon
“every time my husband asked me a basic question about what to do or how to do something with our new baby, I would respond “do whatever you would do if I weren’t here.” Did he get irritated? Yes. Did he always do everything the way I would have told him to do it? No. But he figured it out on his own and everything worked out fine.”
I used this too. “What should we do about dinner?” “What would you do if I weren’t here?” It’s a powerful question. It does make them think.
Unfortunately this is not doable for most of us currently, but another powerful thing is to actually leave. The first girls’ trip I took, our son was about 3. I did not leave detailed instructions or schedules. I did not show my husband where things were. I just left, said “have a great time, if the house is trashed when I get back there’s going to be a serious problem” and that was that. Guess what? I came back two days later and everyone was still alive and the house wasn’t burned down or anything! Men are absolutely capable of figuring things out when they have to.
Pure Imagination
Yep, “do whatever you would do if I weren’t here” gets it done.
Anon
Ok here’s the truth. I do less than 50% of the chores. I do all the cooking but husband does the majority of the cleaning, all the laundry, all the grocery shopping, all the household repairs, all the I’ll paying.
He has slowly taken over things I used to do because he feels I did them wrong. My teenagers have certain chores and he will re-do them the “right way.” If I fold a load of laundry, he will unfold it and re-fold it to his satisfaction.
It’s not exactly OCD. His mother had real OCD that included rituals and intrusive thoughts and was completely disabled by it. But he seems to get more and more particular as he gets older. I tell him that he’s making himself a slave to these chores because he won’t let anyone else do them, but he feels – and here’s the key part – that no one else will make the effort to do them right, and he feels very resentful about that.
Is that you?
If your husband is willing to do his part but always “fails” because how he does it is not good enough for you, then this is on you.
If he’s just being a lazy slob, then kick him out.
But decide first which it really is.
anonshmanon
this is so true, and it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. It was some mental effort on my part to relax my standard at how DH does the dishes, but now I am used to not having to bother with the dishes at all. I won’t relax my culinary and health standards when it comes to food, so I’ll cook most of the time. If I am stressed or working late, DH will happily step in but that means takeout. Anytime I think about how it would be nice to have sparkling bathrooms and fewer cobwebs, I remember that DH would be glad to pay for a cleaner. My lazy/stingy equilibrium determines how much dust we have around the house.
Old Married Lady
I think there is truth to what you aunt says.
I operate with two basic mantras: (1) people change but you cannot change someone; and (2) you cannot make another adult do anything they do not want to do and you will make yourself miserable trying. Presumably you want to stay married (I love how easily people on this board say “get a divorce” – as it that is going to make your life easier). If that is true then tell him you are going to let him take care of his own sh*t (his laundry, his spaces if they are separate from yours) and you do whatever else needs to be done for yourself, your kids, and the common spaces. It is not fair – but life is not fair and once you genuinely make peace with it, your life will be much easier and less stressful.
Of course I am an “old” (in my 50’s and married for 25+ years) so maybe this is generational?
Never too many shoes...
Just an FYI that this blouse is very cute in person, but size down as it fits very loosely.
Jane
What are a few SMALL/EASY things you do to feel accomplished? I know it is okay to be in a slump in these times, but I’ve been a total pity party last few weeks, eating unhealthy, not working out, not giving 100 percent at work, not excited to learn any of the thousand free courses or zoom with friends and family. Looking for small doable things that will make me get out of the funk. Usually involves some kind of small accomplishment (yes, I know the need for therapy).
Anonymous
Make your bed. Floss. Clean up the kitchen every night. Take a walk no matter the weather.
A.
Totally agree with this. Making the bed was my New Year’s resolution a few years ago, and I’ve mostly stuck with it! It absolutely makes me feel accomplished every day. Also taking a walk, even around the block, makes me feel as though I did something that day. Finally, I’d pick a room that matters to you — maybe the kitchen, or the living space in which you spend the most time — and make sure it’s picked up at the end of the day. Coming into a tidy space in the morning, even a SMALL tidy space, gives me a sense of calm.
Anonymous
I feel best when I manage to get in a workout. I have a remote trainer prescribing workouts but he also does FB live workouts some days for all his clients. I went two weeks doing nothing and felt terrible for abandoning my newest good habit.
Have you cleaned out your home? Clearing a closet felt great, too, and was something I did a little bit over several days while listening to a podcast.
Also, I have blanched and frozen a bunch of vegetables and also froze some fruit. That way I know I can have spring produce even if I can’t get to the store.
Anonymous
I meant to include that some days my workouts are four 7-minute sessions spaced throughout the day. I set my phone alarm to tell me when to get up and do them. That has helped a lot bc I am not motivated to get up early like before because no one is waiting for me at the gym.
Anon
Oh I can totally relate!! I’ve been in SUCH a funk and have done none of my normal things since this started.
– make your bed every morning. Do your normal routine, but without hair and make up. Do your normal skincare routine though. Wear comfy clothes but not sweats, I cannot be productive in sweats (loving linen pants as a comfy but put together look).
– take a walk outside every day. Even if it’s just once around the block.
– set a timer for 5 minutes to tidy up. Give yourself permission to be done after 5 minutes. Something is better than nothing.
– likewise with working out, do one set or 5 mins or whatever makes sense for your workout.
– likewise with fun activities: text one friend one text message, read one page of your book, knit 5 stitches, work in one vegetable a day, paint for 5 minutes, watch 5 mins of a zoom class, etc etc etc. Set a timer for a short duration and tell yourself no matter what, you’ll do xyz until the timer is up, usually once my 5 mins is up I’m usually feeling ok and will keep going.
Good Morning!
I’m gonna try that five minute thing, thank you!
Anon
To be honest, I do it even when life is normal! If I stop after 5 minutes, walk something is better than nothing. If I keep going – great. I usually use it for cleaning or working out, but it works for hobbies, etc when you’re having trouble getting going!
Pure Imagination
The five-minute thing is even better if you combine it with something else. Instead of putting the kettle on and checking Instagram, tidy your counters before the water boils. While you’re waiting for your colleagues to figure out how to join a Zoom meeting, dust off your desk and put papers into the shredding pile. Then you don’t feel like you’re wasting your “free” time with chores, but you can still get a ton done!
anne-on
+1 to making your bed.
Pick one drawer – any drawer, but just one, and organize it.
Set a 10 minute timer, put on some music and clean one space, whatever you get done, great! when the timer goes off you stop.
Write and send a card to a family member or close friend.
Good luck :)
Anonymous
Loading, running, and unloading the dishwasher. Clean sheets. A scented candle.
Housecounsel
Keeping my house clean, after decades of having a weekly cleaning service. I am kind of impressed with myself.
anne-on
Ditto – It is also a really good kick in the pants to purge and organize. If I don’t like something enough to move it to dust on a weekly basis it should probably go!
Anon
YMMV and no judgement to everyone that doesn’t do this in this situation – but I wear non lounge clothes (like, jeans and tops that I would normally wear on a weekend out and about, not work work clothes) and do full make up every day. I just mentally function better when regularly dressed, and I feel prettier in my make up, so when I look in the mirror throughout the day, it makes me happier. (It helps that I have my make up routine down to 5 minutes or so).
PolyD
As a counterpoint, I am wearing lounge clothes but felt much cheerier when I bought a couple of pairs of nicer lounge pants (well, still cheap, but new and nicer than my worn-out, shredded ones).
I have a virtual happy hour tonight and will probably put on a nice top and earrings and maybe even a little make up!
Today I realized it has been 4 weeks of stay at home for me, and I did it. It hasn’t been fun, but it has been doable. And I can do more. I hope things get more normal sooner than later, but I have managed.
Of course, the wind is howling like crazy and if my power goes out I will be the absolute opposite of okay.
Anon
Get dressed and brush your teeth. Go around your house with a box or a bag and look for things to get rid of. Put them in the bag. Just open a few drawers, get rid of tchotchkes on shelves, etc.
If you do this once in a while your space will start to feel a lot cleaner.
Mia
A big one for me is rounding up things I don’t need (books, trading cards, small toys) sanitizing them and dropping them off at little free libraries. You feel good and you get rid of stuff.
NOLA
Not a suggestion for accomplishments, but a pick-me-up. Yesterday morning was really down for me. I just felt weepy and overwhelmed from the time I woke up. I posted on Fb asking people to post their favorite memories of me. I heard from so many people and soon I was laughing and crying for a different reason and interacting with my friends about our memories of each other. It was everything from elementary school to college to now! A friend from college and I were in hysterics about an elaborate practical joke we played on a friend (fake engagement, threw the fake ring out the window after a fake fight) and tagged the other friend. I highly recommend.
Anon
This is really fun. For a friend’s recent birthday she asked for us to send her songs that reminded us of her so she could make a play list to play on her day, and it resulted in a really fun conversation thread. When I was going through my library of songs, it made me realize how many of my songs remind me of someone and something in my past and it almost made me want to reach out and tell those people about it, but I thought that might be kind of weird. It just made me realize that I would kind of love to know that 20 years later, xyz song still reminded someone of that one time in high school we did such and such crazy thing.
NOLA
That’s such a sweet idea!
Senior Attorney
I’m still going to work but my husband is stuck at home. Every day when I get home we go for a walk around the neighborhood to earn our happy hour!
Also, I have been making a point of keeping my bedroom picked up and my clothes put away, rather than letting thing pile up for a few days as I usually do. It literally only takes minutes a day and has really helped improve my mood.
Anon
I wash my sheets every weekend. I don’t mind laundry and this is about as easy as laundry can get. Even if I have the laziest weekend ever, at least I’ve washed my sheets.
Anonymous
I use the following list: Do some self care (the bar is low here, filing your nails counts); reach out to someone else (again, low bar, one text is fine); do something active; and do some life maintenance (pay a bill). Once you get in the habit on those, you can build on them, but for now just making the needle move on each every day is enough.
Anon
Keeping the bathroom sink and faucet clean and shiny. (AKA 20 second wipe with a microfibre cloth, e.g.).
Anon
Can anyone recommend a height adjustable chair that can be tall enough for a standing desk and that is also ergonomic? Thanks in advance!
Anon
The goal is to sit at a standing desk? I haven’t yet seen a chair that adjusts all the way from normal desk height to standing desk height, though I have seen stools that people use at standing desks. I will be interested if it’s just something I’ve never seen.
Go for it
Following with interest
Anonymous
I inherited an office chair that adjusts up to my standing desk height, but it’s probably not ergonomic since who knows how old it is. I think it was intended for drafting tables for engineers?
Anon
What has been your Covid-19 WFH routine? Mine is below, though I’m finding my afternoon routine less predictable and easier to get distracted, so I’m still working on that.
7am wake up + eat an energy bar and get ready
8am go for a 30min walk/run
9-9:30 am: do a quick chore/eat a fuller breakfast with veggies
9:30am: start work
12pm: do a 10 min barre/yoga exercise + a chore
12:30-2/2:30: lunch + social media + nap
2:30-5:30: work
5:30-6:30: cook large dinner with enough leftover for lunch the following day
6:30-7:30: walk
7:30-10: doing chores while watching TV/audiobook
10-midnight: get ready for bed + social media before going to sleep
Everything is super productive until lunch, after which I find it really hard to stay productive. The way I spend my time after 10pm is also pretty bad.
Anonymous
Routine? Ha. I think it’s pretty clear there are two types of people during this quarantine – those with children (particularly small ones) and those without. My day is this – first child wakes up at 6:30. Everything is madness for about 13 hours. Sometimes things burn. Occasionally I sit at my computer and respond to emails or try and get some time billed. I break up so.many.fights. There are so many tears (so far I’ve held my own in luckily). I go to bed much later than I should because it’s the only quiet I get. I do it all again. For eternity.
anon
Some of us have days like this even *without* children…
Anonymous
You spend astonishing amounts of time doing chores.
anne-on
Really?!? Suddenly everyone is cooking nearly all meals at home, we’re USING our homes a ton more, it is spring (which means pollen, dirt, mud being tracked in) and we can’t have cleaning people come in to help. I think 2-3 hours/day is on the LOW side. We spend about that much time daily making food/cleaning up food/managing laundry and general tidying and STILL do about 5-10 hours of heavy duty cleaning on the weekends and that’s for a 4-person household with one large shed-y dog.
Anonymous
Whoa – this is not normal either. if you’re quarantining, you probably aren’t tracking much in or out. Cooking takes 30 min per meal at most for dinner; breakfast and lunch are 10 min at most. Dishwasher takes 10 min a day, laundry 30 min per day at most. . . maybe throw in vacuuming every couple days (after all, you’re spending 5-10 hours on the weekends???), and there are 4 of you to share the burden? How are you spending your 2-3+ (!!) hours and 5-10 hours?
Pure Imagination
You spend 2.5-3 hours each weekday (excluding meals, which OP reported separately) and 5-10 hours on the weekend doing chores? What? How? What are you doing???
Anonymous
Yeah I just think people are bonkers.
Pure Imagination
I’m completely baffled by this. I know I’m on the lower end of routine cleaning time, but even if I DRAMATICALLY increased my chore time, I would come nowhere near that – and my house isn’t disgusting as is.
anne-on
It would have probably helped if I mentioned that I count all the parent work that goes into homeschooling as part of our daily chores now – ie – print out the next days schedule, call up all the links, print out the worksheets, check today’s worksheets, upload those to dropbox, etc. Plus while cooking time itself hasn’t changed, the weekly shopping and meal planning take MUCH longer. But really, a solid 60-90 minutes is spent managing school/in-person reviewing of subject matter that kiddo didn’t get/and negotiating on who will cover tomorrow based on that day’s schedule change.
Weekend cleaning DOES take me too long because I was taught to meticulously clean every single surface (take all books off of bookshelves, dust them, dust wood, restack books, etc.). I am trying to do less but it’s hard to break that mental conditioning (when we had cleaners, I just didn’t think about it as that was ‘their’ area).
Pure Imagination
OK, I see. Since you said you are trying to do less, I have a suggestion (for post-quarantine), although of course you can disregard if you want: make all-day weekend plans or all-weekend plans, every weekend. If you’re out of your house having a lazy all-day beach day or on a camping trip, you won’t be able to spend time on chores. In my experience, work expands to fill the time allotted, so allot less time and put physical distance between yourself and your house to make it happen. I’m able to get my house 80-90% clean in a tiny fraction of the time you’re spending so it’s not like you’ll be living in a pigsty if you stop.
cc
wow this is my dream schedule. I can’t believe how little time I have even without the commute. I wake up at 6, take a walk with the dog and have coffee, start work at 8. Fortunately my husband can make me lunch so I get something to eat- but its non stop until 830/9 if I am lucky. Last week it was until 12am so this week is actually an improvement. no time for exercise, a little time at night for chores/dishes. I’d like to start changing the morning walk to a walk/run
cbackson
Ha, you’re so much more organized than I am. Mine is something like:
-Alarm goes off at 6:30. Hit snooze until 7.
-Up at 7, make coffee, put on presentable top, take dog out
-7:30 AM crisis management videoconference
-7:30-noon calls interspersed with social media and attempts to manage excitable terrier that is delighted by the presence of his family and makes his feelings known with enthusiastic borks. Maybe a chore break.
-Noon-12:30 eat lunch, which is either leftovers or smashed avocado on Wasa
-12:30-6 or 7 same as before noon, with decreasing productivity over the course of the day. 30-minute run at some point (I’m 7 months pregnant so “run” is kind of an exaggeration at this point)
-Sometime between 7 and 8:30 cook and eat dinner
-After dinner: take dog for an off-property walk because he prefers to poop not in his own yard (It’s a mystery); answer work emails; chores, read, try to online shop for baby supplies if I manage to concentrate, nervously google my allergy symptoms + coronavirus to see if I’m dying, text with friends/parents
-Bed sometime between 10:30 and 11
emeralds
“nervously google my allergy symptoms + coronavirus to see if I’m dying” you too??
WFH routine:
-alarm at 5:30, 10-15 minutes of scanning news
-out of bed by 5:45. coffee’s on a timer. let dog out, make breakfast.
-6-7: writing time with 10-15 minutes for personal emails/twitter
-7-7:15: put on clothes and minimal makeup (bb cream + mascara makes me feel more like a human)
-7:15-8: take dog for long walk, listen to music or a podcast.
-8: 12:30: do my best to work. just finished a project and can’t advance the other two things I’m working on without input from other people, so I’m feeling aimless today. also another company in my field has inevitably just announced layoffs. practice mindful breathing. take my temperature in an attempt to remind my hindbrain that I have the exact same seasonal allergies that I always have. my temperature is always fine. my brain is not reassured, but allows me to get back to work.
-12:30: make lunch, eat at my desk
-1-1:45: husband and I go for another long walk with the dog. this has become a treasured quarantine ritual.
-2-4: try to work. TBH this is where the wheels seem to come off for me. can’t figure out how to fix it. more caffeine makes me anxious. spend way too much time on social media.
-4:15-5:30ish: give up on staring at my computer. go for a run or do yoga or another workout of some type. internally freak out about being laid off. check email when I get back and do anything that has emerged in my inbox. promise myself I will do better tomorrow.
-6:30/7: dinner
-7ish: watch Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy while eating dinner like the millennial version of our grandparents that we have become. agree that we hate Pat Sajak. wonder how Vanna has put up with his smarmy chatter for this many years. wonder why we are watching Wheel of Fortune, again. I have an existential spiral about it. my husband points out that “it’s just what you watch before you watch Jeopardy” and is totally unbothered. when Jeopardy begins, I wonder what it will be like when Alex Trebek dies, because I am still in an existential spiral. we argue about who is better at trivia and whether the categories are biased against our respective strengths. I become invested enough in beating my husband and a computer programmer from the Bay Area (who fulfills every mental stereotype I have of a computer programmer from the Bay Area) at trivia that I snap out of my existential spiral. we agree we would slay at spouse team Jeopardy because we both know things and they are almost never the same things. we don’t keep score or play by the “rules” so we will never actually know how good we are at Jeopardy.
8: husband usually wants to watch something funny (he’s been on a Community kick); I usually pick up a book. periodically we argue about who won Jeopardy.
-9ish: head to bed, read until I fall asleep around 9:45/10
JJJJ
Laughing about the Jeopardy/wheel activity. Sounds like my house.
Ms B
I too am quite concerned about what happens if Alex stops hosting Jeopardy. Will Ken Jennings take over? Buzzy? Some celebrity type (not my favorite option)?
I think I am happy about Jimmy Kimmel hosting Millionaire, but am withholding judgment until I see the new shows. He has to be better than Regis.
These are the thoughts that calm me.
Senior Attorney
I want KenJen to take over Jeopardy!
Also, my husband and I play Jeopardy! on Alexa every morning over breakfast. Pretty fun.
Ms B
I am strongly in favor of Ken hosting, but really am concerned that some network suit will think he is not charismatic enough. I do not care all the much about charisma for Jeopardy, I want someone genuinely smart.
My Very Particular Rescue Pup
Here in solidarity to say that my dog will not pee or poop in his own yard either. This is especially frustrating given that we gave up our lovely below-market high rise apartment to get him a yard. Fortunately, the tree across the street is an acceptable place for pooping.
cbackson
Yeah, we wander around the yard for 30 minutes…nothing. Walk to the end of the driveway and cross the street…business done in 10 min.
Good Morning!
routine???
Wake up at 5:30 or push it to 6. Get to my desk, caught up on emails etc. Write the link post (this is, again, personally satisfying to me and I am glad this site lets me do it). In the olden times, everyone would be gone out of the house by 8:30, leaving me a focused and productive worker. These days everyone wakes up and mills around, leaving me much less focused or productive.
I’ve also struggled with doing literally anything now that I can’t attend the structured gym class I was used to. This morning I took the dog for a walk at 7:30 instead of failing to do it after work. Felt great! The morning light was beautiful, nobody else was out except the moon, and the dog liked it. I am going to try to do the walks in the morning from now on instead of (not) doing them in the afternoon.
Pure Imagination
6:30: wake up, make and eat breakfast
7:30: start work
12-12:30: take 30 min lunch
4:00ish: stop work
4:00-5:00: exercise, either a walk/run in uncrowded area or a video; shower
5:00-7:00: make and eat dinner, watch one episode of TV with husband while eating it. Throw in laundry or do some other chore if needed.
7:00: read or knit
9:00-9:30: lights out.
I wish I didn’t have to bill eight hours but that’s how it goes. I’d love to have more time for exercise and hobbies. Thank god I’m not commuting 2.5-3 hours round trip right now though.
Pure Imagination
Also OP, I’m curious, are you part-time?
Good Morning!
I noticed that too… so, 5 hours work a day?
Anonymous
Le sigh. Not the OP here but my FT job is not generating FT work at the moment. I fear the axe.
Good Morning!
Oh I believe you but are you then filling your time with vegetables and ballet? It just read like C-rett fan fiction to me a bit. I am bitter and exhausted though.
Housecounsel
C- rett fan fiction. Dying.
Anon
Yeah I feel like if we were to go back through the archives there’s a lot of Corporette fanfic that has been posted over the years…love it
Anon
Yeah, would just need to cut out the 2 hours of social media before bed (which OP admits isn’t great, and it’s not) and hopefully that would eliminate the need for the 2 hour nap (!) and there you go…. (I know, easier said than done)).
Anon
OP: No, but we are really slow right now. So I have nothing to do and also stressed out about the fact that I have nothing to do. Hence, why I spend so much time of chores and social media.
Anonymous
Can you find things things to do for work,OP? Create a helpful project? I find time that I’m working goes much faster and can be sort of calming because it’s getting immersed in the familiar. If cuts are likely, it also helps to try to show value more. No employer wants to pay full time for part time work if they can help it, even under good times. If you can’t create a new project somehow , what about spending some of that time attending online webinars or other education for your field? That might come in handy if cuts come and you’re suddenly needing to be up on the latest thinking in your field. And that’s at least creating some value versus needless chores and napping to fill your day.
Anon
Unless she has billable hours they don’t know how many hours she’s working. She could be very efficient. My husband does 8 hours of work in 4.
Pure Imagination
Ugh no, her priority should not be scrambling for ways to “create value” right now. If it’s slow, it’s slow. A pandemic when everything has been upended is not the time to self-flagellate about not going the extra mile.
Anon
Thanks, I appreciate your advice. I’m already working on a nonbillable project and doing CLEs, but I am noticing that I am the least busy associate right now and that partners have not given me any work despite my requests.
Anon
Ah, makes sense. Nap away!!!!
Anonymous
Add in:
2-4 am — wake up with weird sinus pressure shifting around in head due to the world being covered in pollen and a diagnosed sinus infection that is fighting the meds I’m taking for it (combo: not drinking overnight, allergy meds wearing off, being horizontal); wake, re-up the allergy meds and Tylenol, try to nap a bit (fails, always, or makes me wake to feel hung over when it does)
That + keeping up with homeschooling zooms and helping with assignments (there is no live instruction but new work has been introduced via worksheets to fill in online) are making everything worse than the timeshifting that came with having very young children.
Diana Barry
I am so much less productive now, sigh:
730-8 wake up (not needing an alarm is nice), third child is always up
8-9 do some work, breakfast, empty dishwasher
9 wake older 2 children up first time (+work)
930 wake children up second time (+get them breakfast), get dressed, put on makeup if I have video calls
10 get kids set up on their Zoom school, then work
11-1 work calls and constant kid interruptions
1-2 make everyone lunch, disinfect mail, etc.
2 send children outside when I just can’t take it any more, try to get a bit of work done
3 get kids set up on Zoom dance class/music lessons/etc, yell at them to practice instruments
4 possible exercise or nap with husband ;)
5 make dinner
530-630 dinner (depending on how long it takes to make)
630-7 make kids clean up dishes, do dishes that don’t go in dishwasher
7 sit on couch w/ kids while they watch something awful and I try to work
815 put kids to bed
845 TV time with husband and/or do budget and noodle on some more work
1030 bed
I feel like I am both (1) working all the time and (2) not getting anything done!
Aie aie aie
Ideal routine:
– 8:30 am. Wake up, shower, Yoga with Adriene, breakfast.
– 9:30 am – 12:30 pm. Answer work emails. Be super productive.
– 12:30 pm – 1:30 pm. Lunch and short walk outside. Zoom date with friend.
– 1:30 pm – 5:30 pm. More work. Be super productive again. Meditation and HIIT breaks in between.
– 5:30 pm – 6:30 pm. Long walk outside.
– 6:30 pm. Dinner and Netflix / Zoom with friends.
– 8:00 pm – 10:00 pm. More work or Coursera classes.
– 10:00 pm – midnight. Wind down, read, Netflix, meditation, more yoga if I have the energy.
I managed that ideal schedule exactly ONCE in the five weeks I’ve been working from home. In reality, all work hours are super unproductive and tortuous, interspersed with anxiety spirals and frantically checking Worldometer figures for the latest COVID-19 situation worldwide. And that means that the 10 pm – midnight portion rarely happens, and usually only one walk / Zoom date per day if I’m lucky. And that I’m working around the clock unproductively, having trouble falling asleep, and rudely awakening in the morning to nightmares with zombies and end-of-earth pandemics.
ELS
I feel this in my very soul.
Anonymous
7:30 wake up and shower. I don’t do my hair unless I have a video call, which is once or twice a week.
8:00 go downstairs, make coffee, and set up laptop at the dining table and start working.
9:15 make sure my younger two children are up (ages 9 and 11. Also have a college freshman who had to move back home when the dorms closed, but she sleeps late and stays up late and does her school work whenever. I’m trying not to micromanage that haha.)
9:30 -11:30-have kids come downstairs and sit at the table with me to do their schoolwork. When they are finished with what their teachers assigned, they can read or draw. I continue to work at the table. If I have a call I run upstairs.
11:30-12:30 bike ride/job with the kids
12:30-1 make a quick lunch for all of us
1:00-2:00 kids do chores and then read while I still work at the table
2:00-5:00 I go upstairs to my room to work (I like to have a block of time to write in the afternoons, so still trying to do that or to take client calls.) Kids have “free time” which means go watch a show or play or do anything that is not bothering me.
5:00-6:00 finish up work and start dinner, do a little picking up around the house
6:30-7:30 my husband is usually home around this time and we all eat together
7:30-8:30 we take the kids on another bike ride or play a game at home
8:30-9:00 kids shower and then have to go lay down. They don’t usually fall asleep for a while and pre-COVID I did not allow electronics in their room. But now I let them take their tablets to play a game or watch a show.
9:00-10:00 husband and I either find something to watch together or sit and talk then go to bed.
Anon
No kids so life is pretty easy for me and i try to keep my usual schedule.
6:30-8:30 – wake up. If on the earlier side, read in bed/browse internet/start work earlier.
8:30-9 – start work.
12-12:30- lunch break with DH. Usually something I can reheat or sandwiches.
12:30-1 – internet break.
1:00 to sometime after 5 and before 7, usually 6 or 6:30 – work (with occasional short breaks for tea, internet, put clothes in laundry, say hi to DH)
After work – workout, call my parents, eat dinner (done eating by 8, usually).
8-10:30 read, crossword puzzle, tv, internet, iPhone games, sleep.
Working from home, I have way fewer random breaks to chat with coworkers during the day so I’m more productive, which is nice. Trying to keep my hours up in expectation of slowdowns in the end of April, beginning of May.
anon
7 am – wake up
7 am – 11:00 pm – complete and utter chaos, attempt to work, while keeping child fed, alive and occasionally bathed, eat at some point, hopefully exercise, maybe get outside for a walk
11:00 pm – watch some trash TV
11:30 pm – pass out
Pure Imagination
I’m sure I’ll get flamed for this, but I’ve been so curious about what parents mean by all these posts about utter chaos. Is it hyperbole or is your kid literally a terror bouncing off the walls from 7 am to 11:00 pm? Does he/she never sit and play quietly? Should I even have kids…??
Kate
I think part of it is siblings fighting with each other more than usual because they’re all stuck at home.
Anonymous
I think part of it is siblings fighting with each other more than usual because they’re all stuck at home.
anon
I have a toddler and no she’s not capable of entertaining herself for more than maybe 10 minutes at a time. Young children have zero attention spans. Occasionally on a very good day, if I sit and snuggle with her she’ll watch an entire 20 minute episode of Sesame Street. But no, until kids are much older, they don’t have the attention span to entertain themselves. And they also don’t understand things are dangerous so they need constant supervision. This doesn’t last forever, but it’s definitely 2-3 years (maybe longer, we aren’t there yet so can’t speak to this).
anne-on
+1 – this PLUS all your normal coping mechanisms are totally thrown off – you can’t take them to the library/storytime/a trip to the coffeeshop or farmers market/take them with you to the store/play at the nature center/etc. etc. From the ages of 0-now my main strategy with kids was to DO things, ideally outside or active things to tire them out enough so they napped (during the nap you then frantically did all the chores). Almost all those options are now off the table.
Anon
Yeah, kids are feeling stress and anxiety just like adults are, but have many fewer tools to deal with it. Their routines are different, they don’t see friends, they still have to do schoolwork but without a teacher to guide them, and their parents are distracted (at best) or freaking out (at worst). Small children can’t safely entertain themselves for long periods, and older children know exactly what (and who) they’re missing and also know exactly how to push buttons when testing boundaries. Plus more people stuck in one area leads naturally to more interactions and more noise and more conflicts. All of this adds up to a feeling of chaos.
This is not a normal situation, and no one is handling it well. I don’t think any scenario is ideal at this point.
Anonymous
Pandemic parenting is different. In ordinary times, your kid goes to day care all day and burns off a lot of energy. In the evening and on weekends, you can take them places. When you are working, you are at work and can devote your full attention to it. Working from home while simultaneously parenting, or even while trading off parenting and work shifts with a partner, with bored cranky kids who have been under house arrest for weeks, is infinitely more difficult.
anon
Normally, I have a pretty calm and peaceful home.
My 3 year old normally goes to preschool for the first half of the day. She gets social interaction, exercise while playing, music time, crafts, etc. On the weekends, we normally go somewhere in mornings (playground, swim class, zoo, science center, church). Then we are chill in the afternoons and evenings.
Now we are just…home. Every day. No interactions outside the family. She has a lot of pent up energy and unmet social needs day in and day out. She is also deeply sad and missing lots of people, and that is causing more tantrums and tears than normal.
Never too many shoes...
This is a good description of what it looks like, although my son is 8 with special needs. It is exhausting.
Ellen
My ex told me “You need to think “do I want to endure 9 month’s of pregnancy followed by 21 years of baby sitting” as reasons not to have a baby, but I ignored his advise. I want a baby, b/c I can have someone else take care of him/her while I work, or even if I don’t, I can have a nanny, Dad says. But first I need a HUSBAND, who is very difficult to find a good one, b/c I do NOT want to do artificial insenmmation.
Amberwitch
That is like – less than 6 hours of work a day?
That does not sound sustainable to me at all. And very inefficient.
Anon
Yes it’s not sustainable and it’s not efficient. We’re in the middle of a pandemic. It’s a lot of anxiety and coping because she’s human.
Anon
Who do you think this comment is helping? The poster you’re responding to? Or you, so you can feel superior?
Anon
OP here, I appreciate everyone’s comment. Even this negative critique is helpful to me actually.
Anon
My only goal at this point it to get through a reasonable amount of work each day so I don’t fall behind and try to only cry twice a day. If I brush my teeth, wash my face, drink water, eat something and maybe workout every other day, it’s a huge accomplishment right now. Regardless of whether you have children, it’s a tough time. Go easy on yourself and others.
Clementine
6AM/7:30 AM Wake up with Kids (Husband and I alternate sleep in days) and feed them or sleep in
7:30-8AM – Coffee and Chaos Management
8-10 – Frantic work to make sure I get at least some work done while husband manages kids.
10-12 – Work on less intense stuff – reviewing is good at this point – while helping 4 year old with his schoolwork on the computer
12-12:30 – Take kids + dog for a walk
12:30-3 – Intense work period (kids are napping and/or having quiet time during this)
3-4 – Hardest hour of my day. I always get a bunch of rapid fire emails from my boss that need to be responded to before EOD, the kids are up from nap and my husband is ready to move on to his projects so I’m usually trying to wrangle kids to get outside while answering emails and phone calls.
4-5 – Long walk or run with 2/3 kids.
5-6 Cook/feed/clean up after dinner
6-7 Play and Lounge with kiddos
7PM-8PM Kid bedtimes (sometimes we bathe them?) which I alternate with husband. The other spouse does chores during this time.
8PM-11PM – New Baby’s witching hour. Whatever we do, it’s either with the baby on you or for no more than 15 minutes at a time as new baby doesn’t sleep during this time. Often it’s been sewing cloth masks.
11PM – last feed for baby, hopefully go to sleep before midnight. Husband and I alternate the 11PM/6AM feeds and the 3AM feed.
We feel so fortunate. We are employed, we are healthy, we have a yard to go out in.
TheElms
6:55 am – alarm
7:05 am – get out of bed / shower / dress
7:35 am – wake baby / feed baby / dress baby
8 – 8:45 am – greet nanny / finish doing whatever baby task isn’t done, unload dishwasher, make coffee, breakfast – Nanny takes baby
8:45-9am – goof off online
9-12:30 – work
12:30-1:30pm – make me lunch (unless I have a call) and figure out what to feed baby for lunch/prep if needed [In normal circumstances I think the nanny would do this but nanny is new and everything is weird]
1:30-4pm – work
4pm -4:45pm – Nanny leaves / play with baby
4:45-5:30pm – Baby naps (I hope) and I work
5:30pm -7pm – Baby awake so whoever doesn’t have calls watches baby, gets baby dinner ready, tries to think of something for us for dinner
7-8pm – Eat dinner, clean up
8pm – DH does baby bedtime
8:30pm -11:30 – Work if needed or watch tv, also put away toys, clean, make bottles, etc etc etc.
Anon
This feels like a perfectness competition but here goes
7am husband wakes up. I close my eyes for just a sec
8:30 I wake up. Already late for my imaginary work start time (I’m an independent contractor) I rush downstairs and start working in my pajamas
8:45 I start checking my phone for good stuff on the internet
10:00 I realize i haven’t done a lick of work and put away the phone
10:30 I’m really hungry Time to take a break for breakfast!
11:00 back to work. Husband wanders out of his home office and asks what’s for lunch.
1:30 I got some work done! Time to reward myself with looking at my phone.
3:00 damn
4:00 well probably too late to call anyone on the east coast, let me work on my other project
5:00 usually some sort of zoom happy hour with different groups of friends <- best part of day
6:00 start making dinner
7:00 everyone ate dinner in 10 minutes. Now I look at my phone while drinking a glass of wine
8:30 join husband for some Tv watching
10:00 husband turns off lights to go to sleep. I read my phone in the dark for just a few seconds
12:00 oops. Time to sleep
12:30-8:00 nightmares
Anonymous
+1 to your first sentence. There have to be other people like me (FT, but workload cut in half for pandemic reasons; hopefully to return later) whose schedule looks like:
– 9-10am wake up
-10-11am chores, family stuff
-11-4pm work, calls, nap
-4-6pm errands or a long walk outside
-6-7pm dinner
-7-11pm waste more time than I’d like to admit
-11pm go to bed
Anon
I would be shocked if others aren’t wasting as much time as I admit I am, but again, this is all one-upmanshipping so I don’t really expect honest responses on a thread like this.
NOLA
Mine is not all that healthy:
8:00 or so: roll over in bed, pick up my phone, start answering emails on my phone
Eventually actually get up and open my laptop and start doing other work while answering more complex emails.
9:00 or 9:30: go downstairs, feed the kitties, make coffee
Take a shower and get dressed and put on makeup
10:00 (usually) – first meeting. Try to make a cup of decaf or something for the meeting. Answer texts (from students and faculty) and sometimes phone calls while trying to participate in the meeting and writing notes for follow-up
noon: finally done with the meeting and the inevitable follow-up from that meeting. Eat breakfast food
Afternoon: usually make some equipment deliveries to students or arrange for them to pick up from the planter on my front porch. Exchange emails about wrapping up cases to the person who is managing all of this. Sometimes run to campus to drop off something or pick up packages or a score or the odd piece of equipment that I don’t have. Maybe go to UPS and ship something to a student who isn’t local.
3:00 or so: home and finishing up on follow-up and getting back to people. Answering calls, etc.
4:30 – try to take a break and spend some time with my kitty, have some popcorn and a Vitaminwater.
5:30 or 6: exercise (walk or run or whatever)
7:00 or 7:30 – shower, eat dinner (salad with chicken and fruit), have a glass of wine and some chocolate, read a bit
Evening: sit around like a zombie and look at social media or TV or whatever. Avoid picking up my knitting.
Fall asleep sitting up or finally go to sleep later than usual.
Anon
I’m working 9-10 hours a day because now that people don’t really “leave work” boundaries are not what they should be. People are on at 6:30 a.m. and sometimes are still on at 6:30 p.m. We are busier than normal but I don’t think people working 12-hour days is strictly necessary, I think some folks are just trying to fill time. So I am spending most of my days working, with short breaks to eat and take walks outside. The most I’ve been able to do with my household stuff during weekdays is throw something in the crock-pot for dinner or move the laundry from the washer to the dryer.
With my team, we are fortunate (or maybe unfortunate, depending on how you look at it) that our jobs, as it turns out, can be done 100% remote with absolutely no loss in productivity. We have not missed any deadlines or let anything slip despite having extra work and having everyone remote. We have heard some teams at our company are struggling to find work to keep people busy at home, but we’re not having that problem.
CountC
I am able to have a routine because I am single and childless sooo
– 6:00 am. Wake-up, let dogs out, feed dogs and cat, clean litter boxes, start coffee, hop in shower
– 6:30 – 12:00 work
-12:00-12:30 get on the treadmill, let dogs out
– 12:30 – 1:00 eat lunch and play Scrabble Go
– 1:00 – 6:00ish work (there is no set end time these days, but I try to physically leave the home office by 6:00 pm.
– 6:00 – 8:30 eat dinner, feed animals, play with animals, watch TV
– 8:30 – 9:00 tidy up and put dishes in dishwasher
– 9:00 let dogs out, get ready for bed and go to bed
I do put loads on laundry in throughout the day if needed when I get up to go to the bathroom or get a drink/snack
Shopping?
Where’s everyone online shopping these days? Is anyone online shopping?
We were away from home when all this lockdown stuff happened at a family cabin and I didn’t pack well for myself or the kids, and now add to that the fact that the weather is changing. We decided to follow recommendations and ‘shelter in place’ rather than go back home and I placed a big order at the Gap on March 25 to tide us over but haven’t gotten anything except one shirt. They said on Monday it looked like it was about to ship but still nothing. I’m not really complaining because I appreciate how lucky I am that this is my ‘problem’ right now. But my kids and I do need some clothes. Curious if anyone has ordered from somewhere and gotten their stuff. Thanks y’all!
Housecounsel
Nordstrom is delivering fast. They’re also bombarding me with emails for really, really good sales.
Anonymous
I ordered from Reebok, Ann Taylor and Zappos and received my items. That was probably 2 weeks ago, though. I think I am pretty much done, though.
anne-on
I’ve received clothes from Hanna (we needed new pjs), Boden (ditto on ‘play’ pants now that we’re at home all the time) and Zappos (outgrew sneakers). It seems Bloomingdales is also shipping quickly – and they’re offering an extra 10% off their sale. I’d normally be buying more summer clothes but going to wait to see what happens with camps…
I’ve bought one or two things for me (also Boden and Bloomingdales) but otherwise shopping is limited to schooling and household supplies from Amazon.
PolyD
The Loft family of stores has been a bit slower, but not greatly so. Same for DSW. Allegedly a few things I ordered from Nordstrom yesterday are arriving tomorrow. Gap family stores have been very slow – I placed an order March 30 and it just shipped yesterday.
Amazon has been slower than Amazon usually is, but not too bad, like I get things within a week instead of a couple of days. Of course, I usually pick the slower ship to get the digital credit and because I don’t need most of the things I order from them very fast.
pugsnbourbon
I bought a birthday gift for my wife on Zappos and got it in three days. Stocked up on household basics from Target (trash bags, dishwasher pacs, etc) and got those in four days.
Anon
Nordstrom was really fast to deliver but their returns have been slow. (I returned several things I bought for a bachelorette party that didn’t happen.)
Everlane was very slow (bought some t-shirts before the layoffs).
Athleta was a mix. The leggings I bought shipped really fast. The lounge shorts it took about 10 days but then they overnighted them to me.
Vicky Austin
I ordered a few things from Old Navy on 3/20. Shipping was delayed for a week and some and they are supposed to be here Monday, but I’m honestly not that worried about it.
pugsnbourbon
Oh yeah, I ordered from ON on 3/26 and I’m slated for delivery on Saturday. Maybe – it’s been bumped a couple times. Honestly if it gets here in May I’ll still be happy, it was cheap cute summer stuff anyway.
anon
Target is shipping; I haven’t gotten clothes but lots of other things.
Anon
+1 I got things like cat litter and laundry detergent from Target when I couldn’t get it from the grocery store
NOLA
I ordered a jean jacket from Chico’s and it came really quickly. They were having a 50% off sale so I jumped on something I knew I needed. Also ordered from Rack and ended up sending the dress back (shapeless and blah) and that was way more complicated than it needed to be. I’ve ordered from Amazon and they generally give you a long timeline, but then fill the order faster than expected. I ordered a dress from the Karl Lagerfeld site and it came really quickly. That one, I kept.
Anonymous
I have had good luck with orders from Land End and Talbots.
Contact lens stuck
This might be the silliest post in the world, but my contact lens is stuck behind my eye and I’ve been trying to get it out for no joke, half an hour. I’ve Googled and massaged and used contact solution with no success. Has this happened to anyone??? Almost at wit’s end.
Anonymous
just chill and close your eyes. don’t touch it for 45 minutes and see if it moves out front. After that call an eye doctor.
Anon
I’ve had this happen lots of times. It drives me crazy, but often the trick that works is leaving it alone for an hour until it works its own way out when I’m least expecting it.
Anonymous
Is this a hard lens? Use your fingernail to either pop the suction, or scrape it out.
PolyD
Leave it alone is good advice. For my gas permeable lenses, when they get stuck up in my brain, I find that blinking while crossing my eyes ( so the eyeballs move toward my nose) can help.
anon
as someone who has never worn contacts, this sounds horrifying!
Anon
It’s not really painful, just frustrating and a little irritating. It is probably not awesome to have the outside part of the contact touching one’s eye. It’s sort of a trade off, because it’s the thinnest, most comfortable contacts–the ones you barely notice you are wearing–that can fold up and vanish this way!
Anon
Are you sure it’s still in your eye? My friend thought she had this happen at one point in high school– she couldn’t find the lens and thought it was behind her eye. She kept messing with her eye trying to find it– some of the parents with us also tried to find it. She kept insisting she felt something uncomfortable in her eye so it must be there. They eventually took her to the doctor, and the contact had fallen out of her eye. The discomfort she was feeling was a scratch on her eye that either she or the parents had made while they were trying to find the contact.
Anon
That is not a silly post, I have had that happen to me and it is freakin’ awful.
What finally worked in my case was flooding my eye with contact solution and then bending over at the waist, with my upper body parallel to the floor, and blinking blinking blinking until the lens rolled up to the front of my eye and I could pull it out. The wetter you can make your eye the better. If you have lubricating eye drops those may work better than contact solution.
Anon
Try blinking a lot + eye drops. I find that each eye blink automatically moves the lens a little toward the front of my eyeball. Then once you see a corner of the contact, use a q-tip to Hold it in place and drag it out sufficiently that you can pluck it out.
Amber
I have had this happen and ended up having to go to the eye doctor. He basically held my eye open and looked from all angles and eventually saw it. If you live with someone, maybe ask if they can spot it? Good luck!!!
wireless bras
We all agree we’re never going back to wire bras right?
A friend recommended Miel sisters bras to me but I don’t even want a back closure. Other recommendations? Those look super soft to me so if you love them, please do let me know that too.
Anon
Wireless bras are usually for the small chested. If I were so fortunate, I’d go without!
Amberwitch
Agree – as an, I don’t know, 80b, completely on the no bra waggon. Except for when running.
Anon
Haha, exactly. My DD self cannot go without wired bras. My sports bras are underwire!
Anonymous
Preach. Even my bathing suits have underwires.
anonchicago
I have DDs and can’t do wire bras because they dig into me too much. I thought this was a fit issue for the longest time until I was basically validated by a bra lady at Nordstroms who said my rib cage is slightly concave.
I wear b. temptd push up bras and some VS bras. The underwire bras in my drawer are rarely worn anymore.
sleep
FYI – I also have a slightly concave chest, very bone-y, and underwires were a big discomfort. Bras fit me poorly, and were unflattering in general
But then I read an ?article/post that just explained that …. you can just adjust the wire to fit the curves of your body. Push.pull.mold. Now they fit my body perfectly are not uncomfortable after the initial break-in period, and now I love my pretty bras.
Small Law Partner
I did not know this for a long time (like into my 30s), and was wearing wired bras are a 30B. Le sigh.
AZCPA
I love the True & Co pullover bras. I’m a 30/32DDD and in the DD+ size, they work great.
Anonymous
The one thing that I got out of being pregnant was a resolution to only wear comfy bras and underwear. I never went back.
Anon
In all seriousness, I can’t go wireless except for loungewear but once I found my real size (redd1t A Bra that fits) I am no longer bothered by wires. I never thought I’d say this!
AND, I had been fitted at Nordstrom more than once and was still in the wrong size, so don’t think that’s the be-all-end-all of wearing the right size. Nordstrom is going to sell you whatever they have in stock. I have to order my real size from UK bra sellers.
sleep
+1
Same.
Nordstrom fit me wrong. ABrathatfits gave me my true size. Watching videos online taught me how to properly scoop etc..
Anon
I agree; if a bra is uncomfortable, it’s probably about the fit.
Saguaro
I ordered this bra on a rec from someone on this site, and I absolutely love them! So comfy!!
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07415KTJ4/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o09_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
Saguaro
…and no back closure!
Anon
Nope.
Wires all day, every day. :)
Parfait
I have barely worn a bra for a month. Used to be I would put one on to go outside, but: NO MORE.
Relatedly, I had a sort of permanent dent in my sides where the bra line is. It’s gone.
I have only 1 stretchy comfy pullover bralette at the moment but just ordered a couple more. For those formal occasions.
Anon
Just found out I’m now going to be working overnights, 6 nights a week, 12 hour shifts for the foreseeable future in support of my agency’s covid response.
I used to work 12 hour night shifts (long time ago) but only 3x a week and I found it really hard to sleep during the day (practicing good sleep hygiene, taking melatonin, etc). My saving grace was always just that it was only 3 days, with 4 days off.
I live alone, and had been super miserable being alone 24/7, but obviously this has its own challenges. Living alone means all household maintenance falls to me. Obviously relaxing my standards but things still need to get done. Since I work nights, I can’t facetime with family and friends, so worried about getting very sad about lack of non coworker social interaction, obviously worried about not sleeping, and the physical impacts of not sleeping/limited exercise, etc.
Looking for any and all tips!
Good Morning!
6×12??? holy cow. I don’t have any tips, this sounds incredibly brutal. This probably isn’t your field but the accountants are being called up to process SBA loans and they are working long night shifts but get 3 days off in a row. 6 days of this for the forseeable future? My gosh.
Monday
+1. Are you a health care worker or otherwise dealing with people in an essential capacity? Because this work schedule will be awful for your immune system and could really backfire on your employer.
OP
I’ve been 6 on/1 off for about a month now (except that time I went 12 days straight)! However, the past month has been a) day shift b) mostly 10/11 hour days with the occasional 12hr day, and c) a mix of in office and wfh so at least I could throw in a load of laundry between calls, etc
The first few weeks were fine, but I’m starting to get really burnt out. Afraid of what this is gonna look like in a few weeks!
Good Morning!
I would try thinking of anything at all that would make your life easier, like, fancy disposable dishware so you don’t have to do dishes, setting up a repeating delivery of something like flowers or new underwear, just anything to get through this.
OP
Great idea!!! Was also trying to get everything possible done around the house on my day off before this kicks off. However, i also want to get a nice break and reset on my day off too. Trying to strike that balance.
Anon
I was involuntarily moved to 12 hour overnights a few years ago and it was what spurred me to find a new job. Other versions of night work never bothered me, in fact, I actually really like 10P-6A and would work that willingly. Same with early mornings. I love 2 or 3AM-noon.
It got to the point after a few months where even though I was exhausted, I couldn’t sleep more than a couple of hours and I was not a nice or smart person, or particularly good at my job. I felt like crap and didn’t have energy to do much of anything other than go to work and fall into bed for a couple of hours. My brain was foggy and nothing I did would shake that fog.
My schedule was initially billed as 3 on, 3 off, but I knew their staffing situation and it was 6 on 1 off for the entire time I had to do it. I wish you luck at it and hope your body handles it better than mine did.
Anonymous
As a parent holding on by my mere fingertips right now, I’d say – just let it go. Do the bare minimum. Our kitchen is relatively clean so I can continue to feed myself and others, but the rest of the house is in shambles. No ones coming over anyway. Honestly, if and when my kids ever go back to school, I’m just going to take a personal day to get organized. And re-hire my cleaners as soon as possible.
Anonymous
Night shift is rough. I did it for three years. Sleep was the hardest. I found my best option was to shift my food intake. So breakfast was shortly after I got up, lunch 4 or 5 hours later, then dinner 4 or 5 hours later and no snacking. My body seemed to get tired at the right time when I moved my food intake. That made a huge difference for me. I obviously did not help with all the noise during the day that interrupts sleep but at least my body was ready to sleep, which was a lot of the battle for me.
I made sure that I at least stood in the sunshine for a few minutes each day. I also made sure to exercise, even if just 15 or 20 minutes of jump rope, jumping jacks and push ups. Finally, while I wasn’t doing it under these social restrictions, I did make appointments to talk to and check in with people. I had at least one scheduled check in a day. Mine was often a walk around the neighborhood with neighbor — either before my workday started in their evening or after my workday in their morning. You can do it. It is just going to take so much more planning. It is going to suck and be painful but you will get through it.
Senior Attorney
I have this sleep mask and it really does a good job blocking out the light: https://www.amazon.com/Sleeping-Contoured-Blindfold-Concave-Meditation/dp/B085Q3CXRF?th=1
sleep
I remember this well.
I would restart the melatonin to shift you on your night work “days”. When you wake up, it may still be light outside so try to get outside for a tiny walk/run/exercise to get the natural sun to help shift your clock. Otherwise, get a happy light from Costco and sit next to that while you have your breakfast/coffee. And I agree with a sleep mask for sleep during the day.
Good sleep and daily exercise is key. Even 5 minutes of exercise helps.
Iran
Trying to catch up on my coronavirus reading. IIRC Iran had early / awful coronavirus prevalence. But I can’t understand why. Like I never saw a big Iran-Wuhan link and why Iran vs other countries in the area (like why Iran > Russia unless stats were all wrong coming out of Russia).
Is there anything that explains this? Seems to random to me. I get why it would have been big in South Korea and Japan as they are close and dense.
Italy also seems to be a bit random for why it was so big there so soon, but I read that there was a large soccer match in northern Italy that was a big center of early spread, so that story at least makes sense. Maybe something like that explains Iran?
Anonymous
Italy has a huge group of Chinese people who are working in northern Italian factories to produce luxury goods. The outbreak really got going after large percentages of people went to China for the lunar new year and traveled back to Italy.
Anonymous
My understanding is that there are a lot of Chinese contractors working in Iran.
Anonymous
Just Italy and Iran? That seems so completely random. Maybe not — I don’t own a factory in either place.
anon
China has a lot of contractors in a lot of countries. Especially ones that aren’t part of Europe/NATO, China will come in as a big investor for infrastructure, buying up mining rights in Africa etc. Part of that is just that China is a huge country, so they have a lot of tourists, money to invest, expats to connect them to other places (although part of it comes with winning political influence which is obviously viewed with worry in the West). If you watch and of the country profile videos on the Geography Now youtube channel, a lot of the time when they come to the ‘which other nations has this country close relations with?’ section, it’ll be China.
Italy traditionally had a lot of garment manufacturing, and still has a lot of the companies headquartered there, but the manufacturing in China is just so much cheaper, so there is a lot of outsourcing, which comes with business travelers.
Anonymous
The Italian thing is to keep the made in Italy label but keep costs down.
here’s a link
https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2018/04/16/the-chinese-workers-who-assemble-designer-bags-in-tuscany
a
Yes, this! I remember reading that New Yorker article when it was published and as soon as Italy emerged as a hot spot I thought back on it!
Jeffiner
Iran has a lot of religious shrines that attract lots of visitors from around the world. In early March coronavirus breakouts were a concern, but people were against shutting down religious sites. Also, China has a lot of international tourists. I went to the 2016 Summer Olympics, and the majority of tickets were sold to either the US or China. The Chinese are probably not the same religion as the sites in Iran, but religious sites attract a lot of tourists. Chinese New Year is a huge travel time for the Chinese people as well.
Anonymous
Also Italy and Iran both were caught flat footed, were slow to test, shut down, and otherwise respond, resulting in huge community spread. Iran in particular, the government was in denial about the virus and giving press conferences denying it, even while government officials were visibly ill with the virus. Iranians severely (and with good reason) distrust their government which really handicaps their ability to respond.
Anonymous
What are you doing for administrative professionals day? My midsize law firm is mostly WFH and so far everyone is still working (no layoffs). We do have a small crew of people in the office for mail, etc. Usually the firm caters in lunch and gives a small gift card to each staff person, plus lawyers usually give cash (20-50). ideas?
Anonymous
umm nothing.
Anonymous
Nothing.
Diana Barry
I usually get my assistant a big bouquet of flowers so I am going to do that as usual and just have it sent to her house instead of the office (luckily she lives close!).
Smol Law
+1 a coworker and I requested the home addresses of our assistants so we could mail them card/flowers/nice alcohol (which we know they drink/enjoy)
doing nothing, especially now when you know Admins are getting hit harder than professional staff (I’m a lawyer) feels particularly ungracious to those who support my work and are literally working beside me to make sure our firm/billables/income don’t go in the tank.
Anony
I would do e-gift cards with a note saying something like ‘Thank you for your help and support during this time! When we are all back in the office as usual, we will be doing a catered lunch to thank you in person. We really appreciate your dedication.’ As a former admin, regardless of the weird world we live in currently, any recognition would be appreciated. Being ignored or not recognized at all feels worse than even a ‘sorry we can’t do anything right now but we will when we return!’
Anonymous
are they still getting paid? that’s recognition rn.
The admin's boss
I’m glad someone asked this. We only have 2 admins for 70 plus people and they both directly report to me. I usually collect money from all of the supervisors and buy a gift card, but that will not work this year with everyone at home, so I think I will purchase gift cards electronically and send them to their work emails. It won’t be as much as in the past, but I’m not sure what else to do.
Ellen
My assistant is doing next to nothing, b/c I do my own billing and it takes me less time then it takes to have her set up meeting’s for me. She asks if I am “keeping safe” and I told her that I am safe as long as I don’t go out, but I am going out to Whole Food and Fairway, so I am not so sure. Now they say I have to wash up to my elbows? Noah is the only guy I know that does this and he is an MD!
Anon
I’m a midlevel associate in biglaw and am relatively happy, but I’m curious about what nontraditional careers can look like after law firm experience. From what I’ve seen, my colleagues seem to be leaving for lifestyle aspects but are largely staying in the practice of law which seems like the familiar path. I’m not minimizing that path at all, but I’m curious about considering different career paths. For example, I was surprised to learn that Savannah Guthrie and Megyn Kelly both worked at law firms. I also came across Lisa Frelinghuysen’s career path from SCOTUS clerk to Banyan Global fascinating but completely mysterious. Does anyone have any personal insight or resources they’d recommend?
Anon
Well, what do you want to do? Savannah and Megyn had an interest in journalism. They didn’t just end up there out of the blue. What did you want to be when you were little? I’m a lawyer who’s a lobbyist because I’ve always enjoy politics and advocacy.
Alternatives to practice
I work for a publisher in a particular area of law. We publish really technical news daily, and weekly journals. Attorneys who formerly practiced in that area of law work as reporters and contributing writers. Our subscribers absolutely love their work.
I work with knowledge management staff at law and accounting firms, and those who used to practice in the area of law and then went on to gain expertise in database architecture, search engine design, translating researchers’ preferences into business requirements for an IT team — those people always seem very engaged in their jobs and they seem to be very highly regarded and respected in their organizations.
Anonymous
Does anyone else feel like they are really going to get fired for having kids and/or having a working spouse? I can’t keep up with the demands from my childless boss and coworkers. The expectations just feel totally out of line with what’s feasible here. I’m not really looking for solutions (I don’t have the wherewithal to work a graveyard shift while my kid sleeps or whatever has been suggested here) but I feel gutted that my otherwise solid career is being destroyed here. I don’t want to take leave or quit because I need the money but I’m pretty dead weight here.
Good Morning!
You are not being appreciated and therefore you feel like you are dead weight. You need to find a company that appreciates you, I promise it’s out there somewhere.
Pure Imagination
You might like this post: https://www.askamanager.org/2020/04/whats-reasonable-for-managers-to-expect-of-parents-working-from-home.html
Your employer needs to change, not you.
Anonymous
Thanks to both of you. Half of me pictures appearing in my boss’s office, when we can go back, where she says OF COURSE they understand a dip in my productivity during this time. The other half pictures governor cuomo yesterday saying that we’re NEVER going back to normal and getting fired via email. I know that the second situation is me being overly dramatic but a lot of this feels really impossible.
Flats Only
If it’s a constant stream of requests you might find that folks notice a slower response time at first but will get used to your new pace and not think about it. Just keep plugging along as best you can and they will probably be completely fine With it
Jeffiner
Even though my boss accepted an alternate schedule and says he understands that I can’t respond like I used to, I still feel guilty. I always had very firm work and life boundaries, and now they are all gone. I’m trying to respond to emails while playing dolls, and I’m doing both poorly. The quarantine came upon us very suddenly, but it takes longer for us to adjust our expectations, and boss’ need to adjust theirs as well. I promise you’re not the only employee struggling. Even if your coworkers don’t have kids, they could have sick family members or spiking anxiety issues or difficulties with WFH technology. No one is performing like they were a few months ago.
A.
On the topic of schedules: spouse and I both work FT from home and our three kids, age 4, 7, and 10 have home school work to do each day. 4-year-old needs pretty major handholding and the older two need minor-ish interventions. All things considered, it’s going OK and I know it could be worse.
I’m curious to know from other parents how you’re managing “school” at home and also two working adults. So far my ideas are to get up super-early to knock out some work before everyone else is up, but beyond that I don’t have any great ideas. Just looking for some scheduling hacks…husband and I are also frequently in calls, which is a complicating factor. We have understanding workplaces but I think both of us want to make sure we’re doing the best we can.
And yes, I realize we need to be kind to ourselves. I’ve long given up the idea of doing anything particularly well, or of adhering to an 8-hour work day. Mostly seeking some sort of routine. Thanks!
Anonymous
Kids are 9 and 11. “School” involves no live instruction so far over 3-4 weeks of this and just worksheets that take 20 minutes to do and maybe reading. Our scout troop is doing more. IDK whether to be in despair at the joke that school is or relieved that right now it’s not interfereing with my ability to work.
KW
Yes, this. I have a 2nd grader who does a few worksheets per day of math, reading, and writing and about 30 min of Khan Academy. That’s it. DH and I are trying to work from home, so we don’t have time every day to sit down with her and teach her new concepts. We also have a toddler that we’re alternating entertaining while working.
Cb
Honestly, I think you just have to do what you can re. home schooling. Right now you need to keep your job and keep your kids safe and happy. If that means they don’t log on for their Zoom lesson, that’s fine.
sleep
A couple people have commented on making a schedule where each parent takes turns being “on” or “off” for the kids. So, maybe you get up early and work a couple hours while everyone sleeps. Then you do the 7-10 kid shift while husband works. Then he takes kids/school/lunch from 10-1 while you work, then you do a shift with the kids etc…. Maybe you get some work/chores done during your kids shift too … randomly
So it means less couple time, because you and your spouse will be either getting up early to work and/or working in the evening too.
Anon
We do this, although our kids are a little older (6, 8, 11). One parent is on and one is off. Lately it has been me morning to 11, DH 11-2, me 2-5, DH 5-7. That roughly corresponds with our working schedules (I start later and end later). I like it because I don’t have to worry about keeping track of everything all day (which I otherwise would).
Jeffiner
We do this, although we only have one 5 year old kid. If we both need to call into a meeting, she watches her iPad. Neither of us get 8 hours a day, so we both work weekends. It limits couple time and family time, but it works.
anon
three kids is tough! Remember that if this were not a crisis situation, but you had decided to properly homeschool, you’d be spending way less time directly instructing them than the time they spend at school! Homeschool with direct 1-on-1 attention is just way more efficient (on average, maybe not for particularly despised subjects). A worksheet that is done in 20 min instead a full class? Sounds about right.
Anonymous
Three kids is tough. I have a 3rd grader and a pre-Ker.
I wake up at 4am, and “can do whatever I want” (lol) until 5am when I log on. This usually involves 30 mins of either yoga or something vaguely cardio or light weights. I have from 5a to 9a to do work uninterrupted. Kids wake up at 7, DH deals with breakfast and getting dressed etc.
From 9-11 is school (zoom meetings and I have the PKer do some worksheets mostly bc he loooves cut and paste, and to keep him in the habit). Lunch at 11. Quiet resting in your room from 12-1. I work during that hour. 1-2 is some kind of exercise, I participate. After that it’s a crapshoot… some combo of outside time / video games / abc mouse until dinner.
I am at least kinda-on all day, meaning if my phone rings at any given time I am likely to pick it up. DH’s work is much more erratic and he needs to pick up whenever the phone rings. Both of us have great bosses who understand that we have small kids at home.
This only works bc I am used to waking up early (normally allows for a solid hour at the gym, but alas…) and DH and I both have a great deal of flexibility. And I feel much better at 9a knowing I have already accomplished XYZ.
This also works bc my boss is an early riser and we are accustomed to having discussions via phone at 7am, lol. YMMV
Set times for “school” have helped immensely. Even if they are on different schedules, can you work iut a couple “core” hours each day where the kids are either on zoom, doing work, or choosing from a reasonably educational something? Planet Earth episodes totally count right now, as does abcmouse and other apps that I normally would NEVER allow. If you and your husband can each “be teacher” for one 1-2 hour block each day, that would help keep some consistency and give both of you some space to get real work done.
i feel ya, though… this is TOUGH. And “summer camp” is going to be even harder bc at least the schools are providing SOME kind of structure now.
Anonymous
my kids are 9 and 11. My husband is an essential worker and so not home. I am a lawyer working from home. I do get up early and try to get about 2 hours of solid work done before the kids are up. We haven’t had live instruction, but that starts on Monday. So far, I have them sit with me at the table and I get them logged onto google classroom where they each have a writing assignment. Then they do some combination of reading, math (Kahn Academy), science and language arts. When they don’t have something assigned from their teacher, then I just have them read and do math. They also do art everyday and we go on a walk or bike ride. I try and keep them working at the table with me from 9:30-11:30. Then we go outside for exercise until 12:30 and have lunch. They do chores and read until 2:00. From 2:00 on, they can do whatever they want until dinner time. They are watching far too much TV and playing far too much Roblox, but it is what it is. I have to get work done so this is all I can manage. They start live lessons on Monday, so I don’t know if that will be easier or harder. My husband took Monday off to help since I have two conference calls at the same time they start their live lessons, so I cannot help them get set up. He has been working weeks now with only Sundays off (he usually has two days off a week, but has been working his other day off.)
anne-on
If anyone is trying to support small brands at the moment and willing to shop, the Fold has some pretty amazing deals going on. I am seriously tempted to buy this cape just to wear for front-porch cocktails:
https://thefoldlondon.com/product/porchester-cape-pewter-grey-wool/
Good Morning!
Oooooh that’s gorgeous. I need that for my new resolution of walking the dog every morning (success rate 1/1 day so far)
Abby
Oooh….I’ve been wanting to invest in a few dresses for new job, but have never spent this much on clothing before. I know it’s been thoroughly discussed before, but how is the fit?
anne-on
Very true to size if you know your British sizing – almost identical to Reiss/Hobbs/LK Bennet. I’m pretty small of bust/straight up and down, and a 4 in Brooks Brothers/6 in designer wear (Rebecca Taylor/Theory), a 2 or 4 in JCrew, and XS/S/2 in Old Navy/Ann Taylor/Loft and almost always take a 6 in the Fold.
It (like most European clothes I find) is cut for taller women – I almost always have to take things up at least 2 inches at 5’4, and the midi dresses are almost full length on me.
Abby
Thank you! I don’t know my British sizing lol. I was going to do a UK 8/US 4 but I think I’m probably similar sized to you (based on your AT sizing). Is there any give to their clothes? My measurements are in between the two sizes
Abby
Okay I placed an order, thanks for this heads up I am so excited!
anne-on
It really depends on the item, but their wool/structured pieces are fully lined and do not have much give at all (though the tops brilliantly almost all zip down to the low back making it MUCH easier to pull on/off without dislocating a shoulder). The jersey items and the self-belting items are much more forgiving – I do sometimes size down in those.
Anon
Ouch. I see so many beautiful things I want in US 6 but they are all sold out in US 8, which is my usual size in J Crew and Banana Republic. Based on the comment above looks like I probably need to be looking at US 8 or even US 10 in the Fold..
Anon
Do you mean UK 6 or US 6?
anne-on
Sorry, UK 6
anne-on
BAH! Sorry I meant a US 6/UK 10 – I think the Fold is also sligggghtly smaller than Hobbs but not by any awful lot. But generally I’m a UK 10 in almost all high street brands I’ve tried (Jack Wills, Hobbs, Reiss, LK Bennet, etc.)
Abby
Oh crap I thought you meant UK 6 lol. Good thing I didn’t size down, I went with UK 8/US 4 so I will cross my fingers
CountC
+1 I also measured myself and used their size chart to pick and size and it was spot on.
Housecounsel
The Fold and “amazing deals” do not generally appear in the same sentence. Going to look!
Anon
I want a really decadent but easy to cook meal ( I have NO energy left) this weekend. Ideas? I eat just about everything.
BB
Couple of ideas: Homemade mac and cheese, Jamie Oliver’s chicken in milk, buy some Italian sausage + your favorite expensive tomato sauce + expensive pasta (so not Barilla) and make a giant pasta dish
Cb
Ooh rainbow pad thai. Super easy but lush and flavourful. Use whatever meat or meat alternative.
Good Morning!
pan fried potato chunks with sunny side up fried egg on top. For more decadence add a spoonful of greek yogurt.
Pure Imagination
Risotto? Takes time but isn’t hard.
emeralds
Some kind of pasta? Maybe bolognese or something with bacon/pancetta?
Anonymous
My favorite meal like this is: filet mignon over creamy polenta with a red wine reduction plus asparagus with balsamic butter. (This is from a Donna Hay cookbook.) Nothing complicated at all but it feels decadent.
Anon
Yes this is right Up my alley, thank you!!
Anonymous
Oh, good!
Anon
This is one of my faaaavorite meals. It does not take a ton of time or a ton of cooking skills but man, it is so satisfying and feel so fancy.
sleep
Can you shop?
Scallops seared in butter. Sweet potato fries in the oven. Then I usually put something simple on the side like steamed spinach or freshly cut tomatoes.
Or a simplified pasta carbonara. I use bacon. Maybe throw in some quickly cooked peas for color.
Housecounsel
I make Nigella’s Pasta, Pancetta and Peas, which sounds very much like Sleep’s suggestion. Make bow ties and save pasta water. Saute pancetta (or regular bacon if that is what you have around) until done and remove to plate lined with (if you can spare them) paper towels. Add a couple of cloves of minced garlic to the pan, then a cup of fresh or frozen peas. When they’re done, add the drained pasta to the pan, along with a cup of grated Parm. Stir vigorously over low heat, adding in pasta water as needed. Add the pancetta back in and if you’re feeling fancy, serve with some chopped green onions on top.
ohMinnow
No grated Parm on hand, just packets………am I doomed ?
Anon
I would be looking for something I could reheat or throw in the oven rather than cook myself. Are any restaurants or butchers near you doing prepared holiday meals this weekend?
Anon
Noodle kugel, nachos, or salad with a rich dressing (
Anon
Fancy grilled cheese. Easy and delicious.
Anon
Ribeye steak + asparagus + seared scallops.
Anon
https://www.bonappetit.com/recipe/simple-carbonara
If you have eggs, some form of fatty salty pork (bacon, pancetta,etc), grating cheese, and pasta, you can make this. It is indeed decadent and super easy to make.
The original Scarlett
This hits all your points – easy, all pantry or basic ingredients, decadent and delicious (it’s now the main thing my husband requests, and even my non-cooking friends love to make it). It’s great w sausage too, if you’re not vegetarian
https://www.bonappetit.com/recipe/fusilli-alla-vodka-basil-parmesan
Gail the Goldfish
I’m making lamb this weekend. Easy but amazing. My recipe is basically this one, except instead of Dijon mustard, use mayonnaise: https://barefootcontessa.com/recipes/rack-of-lamb
And I’m making strawberry tarts for dessert.
a
Pasta Carbonara.Melissa Clark has a no recipe recipe in the NYT this week.
Anonymous
Marcella hazan pork loin in milk. Google dinner a love story version of recipe (eliminates a few of Marcella’s fussy steps with similar results). It is so easy and just SO GOOD.
A.
I was never able to afford a class ring when I graduated from college almost 20 years ago as a first-gen student, and now I think the typical ones are pretty ugly — but I still want something to commemorate that accomplishment in my life. I found a listing on Etsy for a custom “class ring” — really a customized signet ring — that’s exactly what I’m looking for at a price point that feels doable.
I wear both gold tone and silver tone jewelry. My wedding rings are platinum. Which color would you get? I’ll post the link in a subsequent comment to avoid mod.
A.
Here’s the link: https://www.etsy.com/listing/688966168/class-ring-college-ring-university-ring?ga_order=highest_reviews&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=class+ring&ref=sr_gallery-1-2&organic_search_click=1&frs=1
Anonymous
I’m just not a school ring kind of girl. I’d get silver if your other rings are platinum.
FWIW, I envy men’s ability to wear blazer buttons and bowties with their schools on it. If I were a blazer wearer, I’d get the men’s buttons from Ben Silver and have them sewn on my favorite. They are awesome.
anon
lol, my prestigious academic scholarship gives men a tie that I’ve actually seen big shot professors wear at receptions, decades after they were a fellow. When I got the scholarship, they sent me a fugly silk scarf (that thing is the reason scarf rhymes with barf). Well, as of this week the scarf is now two face masks.
Anonymous
#winning
You are Ideal Coronavirus Woman
anon
thank you, thank you. Let me check my privilege.
Anon
Thanks for the laugh!! Another reason to hang on to things even if they don’t “spark joy”!
Anonymous
I like the gold actually. It seems more classic and would go nicely.
Abby
I have one that’s almost identical that I wear on my pinky – inherited from DH’s grandma who went to the same college, but her hands are tiny so that’s the only finger it fits on! It is gold, and I have platinum wedding bands as well and I love it. And yes WHY are class rings so ugly and bulky now??
Vicky Austin
I love this whole idea, but I also love that you wear your gma-in-law’s ring; that’s SO cute.
Pure Imagination
I inherited a class ring from my great-great-grandmother (from one of the Seven Sisters in the late 1800s) and I think it looks beautiful and classic in gold. My friend who graduated from a different Seven Sisters school in the last four years also has a gold signet ring.
A.
I love this. Am also a Seven Sisters grad!
pugsnbourbon
I like that look! I found a signet-style ring at an antique store (it was all of $1) and I’ve been wearing it on my right hand for a couple years now. The yellow gold looks very classic.
Anon
I find most class rings to be ugly and too masculine for my taste. Also, I’ve never seen someone over 30 wear one. I’d get something you really love. Maybe a nice beautiful class ring or necklace.
NOLA
My college ring is a white gold signet with the college seal on top. It’s much sleeker and less obviously a class ring.
Ms B
My college’s class ring was a signet style and I got it in yellow gold. FWIW, thirty years out I still wear it at least once a week (or at least I was until the current WFH went into place).
anon
I referred someone for a position at my very large employer. The person was well respected and promoted at our previous employer. Person got the job at new company and is not performing well….also not observant of company culture so there are being viewed as disruptive/too assertive, even pushy. The person does not work in my team or division but I sometimes interact with them and various individuals have been sharing feedback. Person has been coached (including by me, at request of my boss) and does not seem to be listening or adapting. Would like some feedback if this has happened to you. Success in one organization does not ensure success in the next organization. I guess you never know.
Good Morning!
You need to make this person not your problem. Why are you coaching them? The company hired them, their manager is responsible for training them, this is so not your problem. Next time someone gossips about them to you, shut it down.
anon
Thats what I’m doing. I did the one coaching as my boss requested to let her know that she is losing credibility and needs to improve/adjust. Thank you for this solid advice.
Anon
Anyone on here have a Peloton bike? Mine is being delivered tomorrow and I’m quite excited. I’ve been taking indoor cycle classes for about 10 years (SoulCycle, Flywheel, etc.). I’m looking for any recommendations for instructors, types of rides you enjoy, and anything else I should know!
anon
I LOVE mine. I’d recommend checking out the “All for One” ride from July 4. Each instructor coaches for a song or two so it’s a good chance to get a flavor for different personalities/styles since everyone has different preferences.
Anon
Yes. I bought it in early January, and was a little unsure about cost, but my word I’m OBSESSED.
Cody Rigsby is the greatest. He’s funny, and has great and hard classes. He has me laughing out loud and totally getting lost in the exercise which I sincerely appreciate. If that’s not your style Dennis, Sam Yo and CDE are great for more traditional cycling (less chatter/more hard core just riding). I’d strongly recommend doing a little of this and that across instructors so you can get a good feel for everyone’s different style. Just like you probably have a favorite 1-2 instructors in studio, you’ll find that true on the Peloton.
Also, sometimes (and these days especially) a 45 min feels like a slog. This morning I did two 20 min back to back rides – one was a HIIT ride and the other an arms/intervals. It’s like I tricked myself into a sold 40 min ride + 5 min cool down ride. Don’t be afraid to change it up in the same workout sesh.
Beyond that, know that you can search for classes by instructor, music genre, with or without weights… and you can also do a ton of off-bike workouts. I’ve never been a huge home workout person but I’m really enjoying post ride stretches, 10 min core workouts and 10 min yoga/stretching classes, too. There are some classes that require equipment but many that don’t. Make sure to do some exploring beyond just the cycling classes.
Enjoy!!
Anon
Gah this is so smart and I’m so annoyed I didn’t think of it.
Will add some of my fave classes:
– 30 min Backstreet Boys Ride (Cody Rigsby 5/17/19)
– 30 min P!nk Ride (Christine D’Ercole 11/1/19)
– 30 min The Greatest Showman Ride (Robin Arzon 11/16/18)
I also really enjoy the rest of the classes on the app – I just did a 30 min power walk outdoor class (Oliver Lee 3/12/20) that was fun!
Maudie Atkinson
I love mine. The recommendation for an “All for One” ride is a good one. I would also recommend checking out some of the programs. If you’ve been spinning for a while, “Welcome to Peloton” may not be the best fit for you, but the programs were helpful to me in getting to know different instructors and supplying structure in getting started. Unlike you, I was pretty new to spin; I did the 6-week beginner program over the course of about 4 weeks and was glad I did.
As for rides, I tend to do a pretty even split of intervals and arms rides and longer, low-impact rides, which are nice for endurance. I also like to tack on a cool down ride to the end of my main workout for the day.
Anonymous
When I just need to chill out, I like the scenic rides that you do at your own pace with video of different places. It is like a little travel ride when we cannot leave our homes…
anonchicago
I got one recently and love it! Had been using them in hotels for awhile so I had the format and instructors down, and did Flywheel on the weekends.
The instructors vary so much that you’ll have to try several to see what you like. I like Robin, Ally, and Kendall; my husband does Alex, Hannah, and Sam. I do mostly 45 minute classes that are similar to traditional spin classes, but in the interest of working out daily during COVID I’ve started doing some recovery rides or a 30 minute HIIT followed by a 20 minute low impact ride.
Anonymous
I also LOVE mine and I have found that I enjoy a wide variety of rides depending on mood. if you want more dance-y like soulcycle the closest would be the groove rides. motivational/chatty/big personality instructors i like are cody and robin. i also really like christine for her realness and i love dennis – i think he’s underrated and does great cuing of music to the workout. i also like the themed rides a ton – lizzo, madonna, greatest showman, backstreet boys, lady gaga.
Housecounsel
Some random observations from lockdown:
We played the trivia board game Smart A$$. It was a lot of fun for the family. My youngest was able to keep up because of her geography lessons are much more recent!
The state DPH is still keeping a close eye on my COVID-19 recovered daughter. Yesterday, they called with a survey about whether she had been near any reptiles or livestock. When she said she had two cats, they asked detailed questions about both. I keep wondering why nobody in my state is asking for her plasma.
I am on parent message boards for each of my kids’ colleges. Many of the parents are absolutely up in arms about private landlords in the university towns not waiving rent. I am struggling with this. Why should the landlord give a break on rent when the student chose to go home to stay with parents? The apartment is still there for the use of the student and the student could choose to stay and do online classes from there. Through these posts I ended up in a Twitter rabbit hole full of people who think all landlords are evil and that it is inherently wrong to earn money by charging rent.
A separate but related issue is whether the colleges will give tuition credits or room and board refunds now that classes are online. Neither of the colleges have made an official decision on this, but there is a movement at one of the schools to encourage parents to donate the refunds to university staff i.e. cafeteria workers who may be out of work. I think they’re still being paid by the university at the moment, though. I think refunds would be nice, but only if the schools have a solid endowment/reserves (I think they do) and there are real savings realized by sending the kids home and going online (not so sure about this).
My nails are so shot from self-surgery to remove my dip manicure that I used press-on ones for a videoconference.
Last random thought: my friend gave her husband a haircut. Now he is trying to do his Zoom conferences from a precise angle to hide the travesty that resulted.
sleep
You do your nails for a video conference?
Housecounsel
They look really, really bad and I tend to talk with my hands.
anon
I think the call to landlords to be as flexible as possible with rents is a universal one. Students who are out of their job waiting tables (or if the parents used to pay their rent, but now are laid off), are really in the same hard spot as everyone else. Even though, as an enrolled student you probably don’t qualify for unemployment? Of course, I realize that most landlords can only be flexible if they either are pretty wealthy or if they get flexibility from their mortgage lender.
Never too many shoes...
The “all landlords are evil” narrative drove me right out of my local caremongering group. I feel you.
Anon
It’s not the public health department’s job to find potential plasma donors. They’re concerned with infectious people and stopping the spread of the disease, not medical treatments for people who are currently ill. I’m not sure where you are, but lots of hospitals are enrolling people for plasma donation trials. If you search for your city you can probably find one, and she can submit her info to them. You generally have to be recovered for 28 days, so she may not yet be eligible.
anonshmanon
https://www.redcrossblood.org/ is asking convalescents for their plasma. Only if your DPH has cleared her to go out, of course.
Anonymous
Universities are going to lose a lot of money in the next year. That said, food banks, domestic abuse shelters, homeless shelters, etc., have far greater needs than the average university.
Most outsource their food service, so I hope parents who think they are contributing towards paying those food workers have looked into that.
anon
Under what circumstances are you willing to go back to working in the office?
The partners were adamant that everyone must come to the office for far too long. My firm only closed our offices when our local governments issued stay-at-home orders. I expect that they will order us back to the office as soon as they can.
I’m starting to think about when I would personally feel comfortable going back in. I am absolutely not going back in until I feel safe, but when will I feel safe?! Any thoughts?
Pure Imagination
I’m going to follow the public health guidance in my state. Fortunately, we have smart, evidence-based officials in charge.
Anon
Where do you live? I do not believe that my government office are smart or care about evidence-based anything. My city officials are too far left for me (and I’m *definitely* left of center) but then our state government throws a hissy fit just to punish my city’s officials. The end result is that I, as someone who is typically VERY inclined to trust authority, trusts no authority. It’s …frustrating. So, who’s officials are doing a good job? Maybe I can crib off them. (I’m not OP.)
Pure Imagination
California. I’m in a high-risk group and I will use the guidance as my baseline, but if something feels off, I won’t go back. I’m sure my boss will hate it, but unless our business positively tanks and she has to lay people off, I don’t think she would want to lose me right now.
Anon
+1. I’m in CA too. I’m glad Gavin is in charge. I actually think sometimes his comments about future events are too conservative (like, why not wait until we’re closer to that event?) but better than the alternative.
anon
+2. Pretty happy with the way CA is handling it so far.
Anon
+3 I loved Jerry Brown and was lukewarm about Gavin, but I’m a fan now. He has handled this extremely well, even though he doesn’t get the press Andrew Cuomo does.
Senior Attorney
Yes, feeling pretty fortunate to be in California.
Anon
+5, have always felt lucky and grateful to be a Californian, now more than ever.
Anon
I should add, it would be hard to crib off of us though, since we shut down I think first we might get loosened earlier than other places should be.
anon
Yeah, I don’t have that. My state really resisted doing anything at all.
Anonymous
I am not going back to the office until I am immune to COVID-19, hopefully through vaccination.
Anon
+1
Anon
Same, I just stopped moving forward with a job interview process with a company that said they’re complying with SIP but aren’t happy about it and will get all their employees back in the office full time as soon as they are allowed.
Nope!
Anonymous
Question for you — I posted yesterday (the person with a bankruptcy background who wants to see if there are opportunities out there). But this is my big worry. Right now I’m with an employer that was one of the first in my city to send everyone home and isn’t rushing us back. It would be a nightmare to end up with an employer who is like — you all have been home for one month, that’s enough. At this point would you directly ask? How did you handle covid/views on work from home for people who need it? I otherwise would never ask about WFH yet IDK this situation is different from the — I just want to WFH because I want to; I’m higher risk and wouldn’t want to say that to a prospective employer though.
Anon
I did ask because it was part of chitchat during the interview. I just said “how’s it going for your company having everyone work at home?” And then I got a diatribe from the manager who would be my new manager’s manager, and I noped on outta there.
Anon
I’m low risk, and might feel differently if I was older or sick but I will go back to work and send my kids back to daycare as soon as I’m allowed to do so. I believe it’s pretty much inevitable we’ll all get the virus at some point and I would rather get it over with sooner rather than later especially now that they’re talking about special privileges for people with antibodies. A vaccine won’t be available until fall 2021, and that’s assuming everything goes perfectly with the few vaccine candidates already in clinical trials – if those fail, it could easily be 2022 or beyond. I don’t want my life to be completely on hold for several years.
Anon
This. I’m low risk and healthy. I’d just as soon get it and get it over with.
Anonymous
Same.
I’m incredibly uncomfortable with the idea that grocery store workers are expected to be there but for me to be in an office is a problem. There can’t be full risk for thee and none for me.
Anon
I’m fortunate in that I can fully perform my job at home. There’s no reason for me to take a risk and go into the office which is located in midtown NYC. I have to take public transportation to get there. If my employer expects me to come in before I’m ready, I’ll just say no. Unfortunately my company lost two employees already. I don’t think they’ll expect us back for awhile.
Anonymous
I accidentally yelled “put me in coach!” when someone expressed concern we would be asked to return too quickly on a Skype call.
I’m just uncomfortable and miserable working from home. I agree it’s pretty inevitable I’ll get the virus but I think since I’m not particularly high risk it’s better for me to take my chances than someone else.
I feel a little more hesitant taking public transportation to court in nyc. But again, I’m not particularly high risk and I’m not really interested in a career (or life) where I’m healthy but don’t have human interaction. Maybe volunteering to be part of the first wave will win back the points I’m losing by doing terrible wfh?
Anon
I feel similarly
Anon
I disagree. If you hate working from home and you’re comfortable with the risk, then that’s fine. I don’t think anyone is getting brownie points for risking their life. I’m certainly not. If I have to stay home for a few months in exchange for the rest of my life, that’s an easy choice. Also, young and healthy people are not always so lucky. I wouldn’t risk it.
Anon
If you want to stay home until there’s a vaccine, it’ll be a few years, not a few months.
Anon
I’m not the person you’re responding to but I’d stay home until r0 is under 1, or I tested positive for antibodies (which I might, I had two days of flu like illness the second week of March and could not get tested)
Anon
I think we’re all staying home until the effective R0 is under 1. Thats the point of social distancing.
Anon
I’m not saying I’ll stay home until there’s a vaccine but I plan to stay home longer than the majority of people.
Anon
That’s the point. But that’s not how the easing up on social distancing thing is going to be handled.
Anon
Italy says last week that R0 was ~= 1 and they had to continue lockdown to get it under 1. None of the experts in the US (Fauci etc.) have suggested a radically different approach. The experts I’ve heard quoted have said we need a minimum of 14 days of declining cases before we consider opening anything – that would correspond to an R0 less than 1.
anon
I’m torn on this question. I am low risk and I miss my social life. I could see myself go back to work, catch it eventually, completely isolate at home and ride it out. But of course I know I could give it to someone without knowing and I’ve also read some scary first-hand accounts of terrible nasty symptoms of young and healthy people. And I can do my full job from home. So I know it’s kind of stupid/selfish to want to go back before a vaccine. But man, the thought of it just sucks. I guess I can go from taking it one day at a time, to one week at a time.
anon
Want to add that when we go back, I think we will all be told to wear masks in places like grocery stores, even though it’s gonna be weird in banks, lol! I will definitely live without concerts and sport events until we have a vaccine. Once R0 is under 1 and we have the capacity to test all presumptive exposures, I think people will get much more comfortable with retail, gyms, playgrounds and takeout, maybe even restaurants. I expect societies with universal healthcare including adequate sick leave to be able to restart their economy much faster.
Monte
I’ll go as soon as the stay at home order is lifted, I anticipate, and I am not some one who is struggling with the isolation. The one concession I foresee, though, is that I might actually buy a car rather than rely on public transportation.
Anonymous
As soon as I possibly can. I work in an essential, critical service but have been allowed to work at home because our office is in the New York Metro area. Working at home is ok, but not fully productive. The service we provide is truly essential, think something like a utility that everyone depends on, and I want to support our front line workers. I’m truly not at all afraid or worried, and hopeful we’ll be back before month end.
Anon
I will be at daycare at 8 am on the day it opens. I can’t meaningfully work from home with a toddler, and I don’t have the financial means to hire a nanny. With daycare open, I can work pretty effectively from home, so I see myself working from home as much as possible but going in for occasional meetings/to remind people of my existence. I plan to avoid airplane vacations and large social gatherings for a long time, probably until there’s a vaccine. I would avoid public transit but I commute by car already.
Anonymous
when they say we can. Honestly, if my biglaw firm doesn’t conduct layoffs, then my set up is cushy. I drive 2 miles/maybe fifteen minutes n my own car, to a parking garage that is directly connected to my building. There are few people on our floor and we have a cleaning crew that already was sanitizing things like crazy, years before COVID 19. I just don’t interact with many people during the day, and we are highly, highly encouraged to work from home whenever we need to, especially if we don’t feel well.
Anon
Can anyone recommend specific petite joggers? I don’t want to spend a ton and am striking out at Old Navy. Having a hard time finding other decent petite options. I’d prefer a thicker material. Thanks!
busybee
Try Athleta. The joggers I have are no longer being sold, but Athleta offers petite sizing and they’ll hem for free.
anonymous
I’ve had good luck with petite joggers from Gap but I’m not sure if that will help you since they’re owned by the same company and generally have the same fit.
anon
There was a recent post on Extra Petite about lounge wear reviews.
Anon
Extra Petite just did a roundup. She fits into kids sizes in Target’s Cat and Jack brand and they were adorable on her.
Anon
I think I am going to try the Cat & Jack ones. I looked at the size chart and it may work. I will report back!
Anon
Check out kids sizes. As a bonus, if you get boy pants they will have substantial pockets.
Anon
In an older post someone lambasted a commenter for not understanding economics when that poster suggested businesses should have money in a savings account to float the business for some time if there are unexpected events that disrupt revenue. Can someone explain this to me because I don’t understand why that was an inappropriate thought. Why shouldn’t businesses keep enough cash on hand to cover payroll for a month?
I understand why they may not be able to but this poster had said it would be bad business to do so.
Anon
That’s weird. I understand businesses not having that on hand bc many are on razor thin margins, but it is not bad business to have it on hand if you can, or at least have access to a known source of fast, easy, cheap credit if needed. There must have been some logic about it being better invested? But just like individuals, you don’t invest unless you have a rainy day somewhat covered. (In this case, though, this is a rainier day than most economic historical periods would have suggested if their business is totally shut down, so even one thinking they had enough for back up I could totally understand why that wouldn’t be enough).
Anon
Publicly traded businesses are under enormous pressure to return any excess money to shareholders. Cash on hand up to a point is tolerated but generally not several months of operating expenses.
Anon
This. But even for private companies it’s generally not considered good business to have cash that isn’t “working”. If there’s excess cash, the thought is you should either invest it or pay down debt. Cash that’s just sitting on the balance sheet represents a huge opportunity cost. Businesses generally have access to resent revolvers to satisfy short term cash needs as well. Situations like the one we are in currently are pretty rare so it doesn’t make a ton of sense for businesses to leave cash on the sidelines for ten years so they can handle the once every ten year recession better. That cash could have done a lot to grow the business in ten years.
Alina
This is a great explanation, thank you!!
Anon
That’s fair, but just to be clear the OP specifically asked why they don’t have enough cash on hand to operate for one month, and even for a public co one month on hand is reasonable (yes, with a revolver option). (Vs the “several months” that Anon at 12:05 introduced).
Anon
Even one months operating expenses is an enormous amount of cash to be just sitting there for a lot of companies.
Anon
I have a friend who runs a small business with 20ish employees and he was worried about making payroll.
He has about 1 month of cash on hand for rent, benefits, payroll, etc. but not much more.
They are fortunate to still have enough work, but if their clients don’t pay them timely, then he’s not sure what to do. That is the situation many businesses are in right now.
Anon
Anon 1:37 yes, of course. The question being debated though is for those business that could have enough on the balance sheet for more than a month but don’t, why? (Which the answers above get to).
Anonymous
Perhaps this is just too much time at home but is this stretch of time making anyone reconsider their career or life decisions in any meaningful way? Do you expect or want to make changes?
Caught the last bit of an interview with a dr on MSNBC last night on the social determinants of health. Thought she was great so I googled her to see where she worked. This leads to a number of articles regarding her involvement in a number of mentoring groups for girls to show them they can achieve their dreams, all while being a major health system anesthesiologist.
Not suggesting I want to be a dr but it just highlighted for me that unlike her no aspect of my life was ever about dreams. It was just the rat race for the “right” schools and the right salary. I couldn’t even tell a bunch of kids about dreams mine or theirs unless their dream is making 150k or 200k or whatever. And now there are some things I want to pursue that are offshoots of my career and even still I’m so reluctant — stability, now health uncertainty for most people etc. I turn 40 this summer and I feel like if I don’t make some changes, I’ll look back at my entire career as — I made money, shrug. (And I’m single and not a mom so I can’t exactly say that life was about raising my kids. Though realistically maybe I can take more risks because I don’t have kids.)
Anyone else falling down this rabbit hole?
Anonymous
Sure. I feel like I’d be the first eaten as I have limited utility in a zombie apocalypse. OTOH, I feel that if Tyrion Lannister made it to the end of GOT alive, there may be hope for sharp underdogs yet. OTOH, maybe I am Varys. Clearly I am good at overthinking.
But yes. EMTs and medics are always useful.
Anon
This comment made me chuckle more than I expected. I’m a Jon Snow of the front line and some days I don’t want it…
AIMS
But please know how much we appreciate you, Jon Snow!
anon
I personally think the advice of following your dreams is sorta bunk unless your dreams actually are something that can make you money. It’s great if you can find passion and satisfaction in your job but most people don’t and that’s not a realistic goal. I think the advice around finding a dream career really sets people up for failure. I enjoy my job but it doesn’t define me and it wasn’t my dream job. It’s a tool to provide me income to spend on things I do find fulfilling.
Anon New Yorker
In contrast, I have my dream job and while I don’t make a ton of money by the standards of this board (less than 6 figures) I have more than “enough.” I think part of defining goals and dreams, for me, is figuring out what I, personally, want in life, and not just what I’m told I’m supposed to want. The things I value include time with my kid, access to cultural institutions, living in a diverse community. I don’t value having more than 900 sq feet, buying the Splurge Monday picks on this site, or owning a car. I’ve never had a built in pantry and don’t understand why I would want one. I can thus live a comfortable life while working my underpaid dream job in a VHCOL city and still save 30% of my gross income.
Of course, my choices would not be everyone’s choices, and maybe I’m really missing out on the built in pantry and don’t even know it , but I don’t think there’s necessarily trade off between being comfortable and pursuing a “dream job”.
Anon
I think this is fair but I know very few people who are able to find their dream jobs. Or find their dream jobs but they are far less fulfilling or far more demanding than they thought. I’m not saying it’s impossible just that it’s rare.
Also to clarify my original post, I didn’t mean to imply you should take the highest paying job just that you don’t have to view your job as a source of fulfillment and can view it instead as a means to achieve fulfillment.
Anon New Yorker
Yeah I think this is true and part of the reason is because we expect people to figure out what their “dream job” is through childhood and school. As late as college, I would have laughed if you told me this is what I would be doing. After college, I got a completely random job and through that learned so much about my skills and interests and talents and realized that this is the direction I want to go in. I wasn’t on this career path until my late 20s.
anon
You’re lucky that you were able to find it. If I’d gotten my dream job, then I’d be in your position — comfortable but certainly not laying down hundreds of dollars on silk shirts because pretty. That was part of the reason it was my dream job! But I couldn’t get the dream job. (Highly competitive, recession, etc.) And allllllll the work I did to position myself for that dream job made me an unattractive candidate for many jobs that actually paid. Now imagine that playing out for someone who didn’t go to graduate school and get a marketable degree that she could eventually pivot *somewhere.* I think that’s what the poster you’re replying to meant. That, and the fact that many, many “dream jobs” really aren’t going to make you money even if you do get them.
Anon
+1
anonshmanon
If one’s dream is not something that can realistically turned into a career, another scenario is (at least for me) to lean out at work to an extent that they can float along, while maintaining a frugal lifestyle that a moderate income can support. Then pursue whatever that dream is in my off time.
Follow your dreams wisely
I think there’s a combination to be found. I was working at a typical, corporate, safe job, on track to make a lot of money – and I was miserable. I went into a different career path, one known to be notoriously unstable, and I took a big risk, but I also had a specialized skill set. Now I am making good money, making a name for myself, and generally a lot happier. And I’m not an EMT, but I am doing the type of thing this post is about (and actually giving a talk like that soon)
Monday
Nonfiction book recommendations on this issue: Excellent Sheep; The Meritocracy Trap.
I’m in a low-paying public service field and have noticed that overall, my family is downwardly mobile across generations due to career choices based on our values. What is “worth” what is an extremely personal decision, and it’s not surprising when it changes over a lifetime.
Anon New Yorker
Interesting. I wonder if my satisfaction with my lifestyle is driven in part because I had a very poor childhood, and I’ve come a long long way upwards from my grandparents generation — in their childhood, they had no running water and grew most of their food, and even based on their standard of living at the time of their death would consider me to be extremely materially fortunate.
Anon
I am in a high paying profession that is predominantly white/asian and male, so my giveback has been raising awareness of the profession for girls and Hispanic/black students at the high school and early college level. I’ve joined and even led industry committees focused on this, but to start with, I just called some schools and asked if I could speak.
sleep
I’ve wondered if some of my friends who went into finance/consulting ever think like this.
When I was in college, my friends went predominantly into medicine/science (my direction), law, or a few in tech/engineering. But there was also a large chunk that started in a more ?traditional fields and then went into finance/consulting in the end, straight from college. I was surprised and a bit ?disappointed, as several of them would have been wonderful doctors/scientists/engineers and honestly I did not understand what finance/consulting even was except just making $$. I still wish that most of them had followed ?their original interests/dreams, as we need them desperately in the sciences/medicine and instead have to reach far around the world to make sure we have enough doctors in this country.
I remember asking one of my friends in consulting what they were working on, after jet setting back to NYC from Madrid. They were trying to optimize the market for Pepsi in Madrid. Well, I’m glad they were putting in those 60 hour weeks. What a …. great contribution.
They are all rich now. Most married… sometimes twice… They seem… ?happy. But I still think it is so sad. They could have done so much more. Maybe they don’t realize…. More for the world… for so many people.
I grew up lower middle class FWIW, parents were poor.
Anon
Wow that is some heavy judgment you’re dripping there. Honestly I think you’d be a lot happier if you focused on what you do, not others.
Anon
+1
sleep
Yes, I was totally judging. I admit that. Because I knew they could do so much more.
Follow your dreams wisely
Hahaha yes this was me. I went into consulting because I didn’t know what to do but quickly realized that I could not stand optimizing the market for Pepsi. I am in a very public facing career now and that consulting experience has given me skills that I use (talking to clients, working on lots of different teams) and looks very good on my resume, which still helps even in this field. So it’s worked out so far.
anonshmanon
as somebody mentioned above, following your original dream is tricky, too. Priorities shift over time, and not necessarily because someone failed at achieving their dream, so now they have to move to plan B. Sometimes they get there and it’s very different from what it was made out to be. Or they meet a person or stumble over an opportunity or get inspired by a challenge that they just hadn’t considered before, and life takes a different turn. It’s normal.
LaurenB
“I remember asking one of my friends in consulting what they were working on, after jet setting back to NYC from Madrid. They were trying to optimize the market for Pepsi in Madrid. Well, I’m glad they were putting in those 60 hour weeks. What a …. great contribution.”
Really? What’s wrong with being a consultant opening up a new market or optimizing an existing one? That’s … sort of the point of business.
LaurenB
Optimizing the market for Pepsi in Madrid means jobs for the engineers who design the plants, the logistics managers who coordinate shipments, etc. Unless you meant to say that it’s cool to be the engineer who designs the plant / equipment but not cool to be the marketing person who helps create and shape demand?
sleep
I appreciate this line of thinking. Thanks.
Anon
I have to buy this top just because of the “hey all you cool cats and kittens.”
Well played.
? for attorneys
Mediations in my area have gone remote, but there are still some mediations taking place in person with social distancing measures in place. I have a case with a few parties/lawyers involved, the other lawyers are boomers and want to mediate in person. I am in my 20’s and am the sole objector. Would you agree to this? I have no underlying conditions, am not that worried about myself getting sick, but I think this is really irresponsible and could result in further unnecessary spreading of the virus. I could be an asymptomatic carrier, who knows?
OP
Ack, reading the word “boomer”now sounds pejorative and I didn’t mean it to sound disrespectful.
Anonymous
No way, nohow. Can you refer to your state supreme court’s order about in-person court proceedings? Not that a mediation is a court proceeding, but if courts are limiting in-person proceedings then it seems that mediations should be even more limited.
Mrs. Jones
No.
Anonymous
Can you cite the CDC guidelines or your state’s SIP order?
anon
I would absolutely oppose an in-person mediation, in the name of the greater good. Even if everyone was 25 with no underlying conditions, now is not the time to be doing things in person that aren’t essential to do in person right now.
Anon
My state’s stay at home order makes clear that even if you are an essential business, if you can do something remotely you have to do it remotely.
Never too many shoes...
Hard pass. Video mediation or adjourn for six months.
Ellen
The manageing partner said we can mediate cases now remotely, b/c he wants to keep me billeing even though the courts are closed to the pubic. So now I have to figure out which of the mediator’s the manageing partner recommended I call will be sympathetic to us, now that so many people are sick and out of work. It seems that defending insurance companies is not that lucretive right now. I want to win, but more importantly, I need to BILL more hours then I have for the last 2 weeks b/c of this virus. FOOEY!
Eye Cream
Looking for eye cream recommendations in the $30 or less price range. Looking for something that will absorb quickly and not clog pores (milia has been an issue for me in the past). Mid-40s.
Anonymous
Kiehl’s Creamy Avocado Eye Treatment is nice. I just use my regular moisturizer as eye cream though (Cerave Cream).