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Something on your mind? Chat about it here. I always love Frye boots for the weekends — they're super comfortable, and they last forever. I like these short redwood leather booties from Frye — I suspect they'll look perfect paired with denim. They are currently marked down as part of the Nordstrom Anniversary sale — right now they're $189.90, but after August 6 they'll go back to $278. Frye ‘Jane Trapunt' Bootie Speaking of the Nordstrom sale — they do have a ton of great shoes, bags, and accessories on sale, including: – Boots from Stuart Weitzman, Cole Haan, Tory Burch, Aquatalia by Marvin K, Frye, and Indigo by Clarks – Pumps from Stuart Weitzman, Cole Haan, and Via Spiga – Great bags from Rebecca Minkoff, Kate Spade, Cole Haan, and Tory Burch – Fun accessories from Kate Spade – Gorgeous diamonds on sale, including these huggie earrings that I now want… – Watches from Skagen, Michael Kors, and more… (L-all)Sales of note for 10.24.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – Friends of Ann Event, 30% off! Suits are included in the 30% off!
- Banana Republic Factory – 40-60% off everything, and redeem Stylecash!
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – Friends & Family event, 30% off sitewide.
- J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Up to 30% off on new arrivals
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 40% off entire purchase, plus free shipping no minimum
- White House Black Market – Buy more, save more; buy 3+ get an extra 50% off
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
P
More bar exam whining, which I know is annoying, but UGHHHH as bad as it was the first time, taking another state’s bar exam is torture. Seriously, torture.
I passed CA one year ago; I can pass MD without much trouble, right? I keep telling myself that and then online shopping instead of doing MBEs.
CountC
You will pass MD with no trouble if you passed CA! I had a friend who used the PA BarBri books to self-study for MD and he passed.
I also 100% agree with a second state bar exam = torture. I passed PA four years ago and it is so annoying that in one more year I could have waived in. But noooooo, now I have to sit in VA. Ugh.
P.S. Right now I am online shopping (and posting here, clearly) instead of doing practice essays.
P
Ahaha, PA books. That’s awesome. That takes a lot of chutzpah. :)
CountC
More than I have, that’s for sure. He’s Secret Service – most of them have more chutzpah than they realistically need ;-)
anon
It is actually torture. I’m miserable. Signed, taking the CA bar.
a.
First of all, hai guyz. I still love you all and try to read everything, but it’s hard to keep up with commenting with my a wacky schedule and lack of a computer during my workday.
It’s probably too late in the weekend for this kind of meta, but here goes: I appear to have acquired a Gentleman Caller. Which is, you know, yay slumber parties and classy dates and stuff, but I am just have so. many. issues. getting stuck in my own head. I can’t even begin to let myself trust that he is actually interested in me, or that he will stay interested. I can feel myself doing all of the things I have done to sabotage every other relationship that I’ve ever been in (example: I told him we should be friends on our second date, then quasi-bailed on the platonic hang-out we had scheduled after that; but for some unknowable reason he asked if I wanted to reschedule, then that time I actually went and, shock of the century, allowed myself to enjoy his company instead of focusing on all of his minor flaws) and after that mini-debacle I am trying so hard to not, and just enjoy our relationship for what it is and has been–but my god. It is so much work. I feel like I am questioning everything every second I am not actually with him. I feel like if I let myself really like him, or invest anything, or let him know that I’m investing anything, it will end. I don’t know why I’m like this.
At this point, it’s not even so much about this specific Gentleman Caller (even though he’s pretty cute), and just that I want to stop being like this in every relationship I ever have for the rest of my life. Is this something I should go to therapy for? Am I doomed? How do all of you other Type A control freaks let go enough to actually put your trust in another human being?
cfm
Do you trust your friends like you? Why should this be any different? It definitely sounds like something you should go to therapy about I think, it would be good to talk this through with someone
NOLA
For what it’s worth, I did therapy after my divorce partly for this very reason. I was beginning to be worried that I just didn’t respect men, especially since my mom did the same with my dad when I was growing up. I wanted to break the pattern so I specifically addressed it in therapy. At this point, I’ve only been with one person since my divorce, but I can say that I haven’t had this issue at all. He has a lot less education than I do, but he was very career-focused (he’s retired now) and passionate about his career, life and me. So I can say it’s worth discussing with a therapist because it worries you and because you’re seeing this as a pattern in your life. Given everything you have going on and your planned relocation, now may not be the best time but soon!
CountC
I have somewhat related relationship issues and therapy has been very, very helpful (although I still have a ways to go). But make sure you find one you really like. Definitely shop around!!
Bluejay
I dunno, but if you figure it out, let me know. In the meantime, know you’re not the only one.
Hel-lo
You are not doomed.
I was kissing like every frog I could find (and then dumping them immediately).
Then I went to http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk. I also realized that dumping those guys and not “investing” in them was really about not investing in myself. I didn’t think I deserved better, and was scared to let guys get close to me. It was just easier to treat myself like a s-l-u-t. (No one called me that except myself.)
But you are worth so much more. You are worth someone caring about you, loving you, and nurturing and protecting you (even though you’re fully capable of taking care of yourself too).
oclg
Just want to second this website. It helped me immensely after a tough breakup and helped me figure out what I want, specifically in terms of a relationship, but I also translated it into friendships.
Monday
I definitely think therapy could help, but on your own you could also start trying to think more about what YOU want, whether YOU’RE having fun, whether YOU want this to go anywhere, and less on all of these things as applied to him. I used to obsess in all the ways you describe here, and I realized that in all my worrying about being good enough I was forgetting to account for myself…and dating some real doozies as a result.
Also, while I am far from a seasoned sage–I’m only 30–I will also venture to say that this kind of thing will probably automatically tone down as you get older. If I had to give one single reason that I’m not so much like this anymore, about anything in my life, it would be that I have better perspective and can see that nothing/no one is the be-all end-all, that a lot of outcomes are “just so” no matter how strongly we feel in the moment, and that the same person will be rejector or rejectee many times in the course of dating life, without a lot of sense to it either way.
Finally, for what it’s worth, I think the right person will either calm your nerves naturally, or be able to hang around without demands while you calm your own nerves. There will be more than one of these, by the way–i.e. you don’t have to bind your soul to the first guy who achieves this out of fear that nobody else will ever be able to do it again.
Enjoy yourself…
TCFKAG
a., First of all its nice to see you! Second of all — would it help if you thought about the time you spent with him (for now) as just one date at a time — as it — what are we going to do today that’s going to be fun?
And then just remember that no matter what you do with him or tell him, tomorrow you’ll still be the same cool, awesome independent woman you were before (if he’s a guy worth hanging out with — which it sounds like he is). But kind of like a alcoholic, just take it one date at a time, and see where it goes.
And yeah, have a friend who knows you well get brunch with you and talk it out (but make sure its someone who can tell you how it is!)
TCFKAG
Oh…and I hope this is a good thing for you and that you have fun no matter what ends up happening. :-)
Seattleite
1. Although there may be some very small subset of the species that is, in fact, doomed, I doubt you are part of it. :)
2. Therapy can be incredibly useful anytime there is a pattern in your life that you a) don’t understand or b) can’t seem to break. So, yes, I’d give it a try. Many therapists will schedule a 15-minute free consult or phone call to help you see if you ‘click.’
3. It’s not so much about trusting another human being, because there is simply no way to guarantee that Person X will never betray us, hurt us, or let us down. It’s about learning to trust ourselves – that we can and will survive those betrayals, hurts, disappointments – and that knowing we can survive and even thrive in spite of them. It’s a process getting to that spot, but that process is exactly what therapy did for me.
TO lawyer
I don’t know if you’ll still see this, but here goes. I’m like this too (or was anyways). With my current SO, things are different but sometimes I still have to fight myself from reverting back into my old patterns.
We’ve been together for 7 months and hearing him recently say that he’s now in this for the long-term helped me calm down. I was constantly terrified that he would end things if I was too “needy” or something.
The other thing is we went fairly slow, esp at the beginning. It’s fairly serious now but for the first 3 months, it was definitely not exclusive (for either one of us) so we had time to test the waters before committing to one another.
I do sometimes have to remind myself that I’m strong and even if worst case scenario he bails, I’m still me. I may be devastated but it won’t be the end of the world. We also had a few fights a couple weeks ago, and it took everything that I had to not end things because I was frustrated and upset.
I also tend to over-analyze so I have to force myself to stop doing it – when things go badly or we’re a little snippy, sometimes it has nothing to do with us but other things in our lives and that’s ok. I think the commenter who said that it’s not about trusting someone else but trusting yourself is key. You need to remember everything that is good about yourself and trust that he sees that and that’s why he’s with you – he wants to be with you, just like you want to be with you.
C
Ladies I need some help and feel grateful I discovered this site. I just started my first job as an associate. I quickly saw this week that I am going to have to step up wardrobe. I am looking for some great work appropriate skirt and dress recommendations. I was also pulled aside one day and was told pantyhose should be worn in this office so I am looking for recommendations on pantyhose as well. I don’t think I will mind wearing them as the office is super cold anyway.
TIA!
anon
What city are you in? Are you in straight sizes? Do you wear suits to your office? All key questions.
C
I am in NYC. Suits are usually required a couple days a week. Yes to straight sizes.
Famke
Mandatory pantyhose in NYC in July? Ugh! (I thought most NYC firms were genuinely business casual…)
Yes, look at the archives. I’d say, just try to figure out generally what types of outfits female attorneys at your firm wear. Start with some basics in neutral colors (so that people don’t notice that your clothes are on a pretty short rotation schedule) and build things up from there. I’m sorry I can’t give more specific advice as I left law firm life more than two years ago and since then have avoided Ann Taylor, Thomas Pink, and the suit collections in department stores. I do wish I had had this site to use as a resource when I started. Happy shopping! :)
Bluejay
If you mouse over “Shop” on the header of the page, and then mouse over “shopping guides”, you’ll see that Kat (the owner of this site) has written guides on suiting, what to wear under suits, and on heels. Those are a good place to start. Also, on the right of the screen, there is a word cloud of popular topics. I’d click on Pantyhose, Workwear Basics, and whatever else interests you and read the posts and the comments on those topics.
If you live near a Nordstrom, I’d suggest calling and making an appointment with a personal shopper. Many readers of this site use Nordstrom personal shoppers to help them build their work wardrobes.
Good luck!
karenpadi
I’ll pre-second the advice of seeing a Nordie’s personal stylist. My first appointment is still a week away.
I’ll admit it–I don’t dress as well as I should either (’05 law grad) and wardrobe is something that challenges women more than it challenges men. Some women love the challenge and the thrill and some of us, well, we hate it and tell ourselves that our work matters more than our appearance. We are the ones who benefit most from getting help.
When I was in your shoes in January 2006, I went to an Ann Taylor (I might suggest Gap or Talbots now–I don’t like Ann Taylor’s quality anymore), found a friendly sales woman and spent $800 I didn’t have (yet) on enough clothes to wear for a week. I did similar things in the lingerie and shoe dept at Macys. It bought me some breathing room and I supplemented those clothes later on. Granted, I later hated some of those clothes but I was grateful that they served their purpose.
I think it’s great that someone cares enough about you succeeding that she pulled you aside. I’d drop her a quick “Thanks for letting me know about the hose requirement. I really appreciate it.” the next time you see or chat with her.
Seattleite
Check with Macy’s WRT personal shoppers, too. I met with one last week and she was fabulous – ran all over the store, scoured the clearance racks, ordered other sizes sent to my house. I must have tried on 50 pieces during a 3-hour appointment. Not all Macy’s have personal shoppers, but you can search in the ‘store locator’ function for one.
Basics
Hanes Silk Reflections. Buy them in bulk online at onehanesplace DOT com. I like Travel Buff and Barely Black.
For skirts, suits and dresses (and any combination thereof), visit the suit department at the largest Macy’s near you. Look especially for Tahari and Calvin Klein suits that have a jacket, pants, skirt and dress. You should be able to buy 2 or 3 sets for a reasonable price and that should get you very far while you more slowly build up your work wardrobe by trolling sales at Brooks Brothers and Talbots and the like.
Basics
I see you are in NYC. Head to Macy’s Herald Square and add a stop at the suit department of Lord and Taylor.
Once you get 2 or 3 suits and buy yourself some breathing room, start frequenting Brooks Brothers (you are lucky to live in NYC, where they have a serious women’s department, ours carries only golf and ladies who lunch clothes), start going and trying on their suits. Then when they have sales, you’ll know what works on you.
Style disaster?
How obvious is it if one wears carefully chosen supermarket pantyhose (usually No Nonsense Nude or Off Black with reinforced toes b/c I never, ever, wear peep toe shoes)? One of my grandparents, who worked as a hosiery buyer for department stores, reasoned that it wasn’t worth spending more than the bare minimum because all hosiery shreds at the same rate. I’m happy to be frugal but I’m wondering whether hosiery technology has improved over the past few decades.
Basics
Others may have a different take on this. I would suggest going to a department store that displays samples of Hanes (mid-range) and also high-end stockings. Put your hand inside the samples and note the color (if nude, believably natural; if not nude, subtle), the sheerness (not opaque, that would be tights) and the silkiness (pretty darn smooth and a tiny bit of sheen). Then compare the brands you are considering. I am not familiar with them, so I can’t say. But that is how I would go about it.
Gail the Goldfish
I’m of the opinion that it’s not. I wear Duane Reade brand pantyhose. I used to buy nicer brands, and then I realized I can’t go more than a day without getting a run in them (I’m a klutz), so why pay more? Of course, lately I’ve just stopped wearing them all together unless it’s cold (yes, even in court. But it’s just state court, and rarely do I even see the judge).
Rosalita
I fully support drugstore/grocery store pantyhose. I buy multiple packs at a time. I can wear and wash them 4-5 times before they get a run. I have never invested in expensive hose, and doubt I ever will.
For those of you in the same boat, but not in NYC, check out Burlington Coat Factory for affordable conservative suits and tops.
C
Thank you all! These all are some wonderful recommendations. I plan on using these right away!
a lawyer
Also, if you absolutely hate pantyhose, thigh highs work well in the summer. In the winter, you’ll probably want full on pantyhose.
Depending on whether $ is an issue, once you learn your sizes in Ann Taylor, Talbots, or whatever brands you find fit well, you would be amazed what some regular shopping on ebay will get you. I’ve found good suits there for a fraction of what I pay full price or even on sale at those shops.
eek
CaAtty and Ruby are you out there? Hope all is well.
Ellen
I love OPEN thread’s! The manageing partner is VERY happy b/c yesterday, we got 2 more file’s for me to work especialy for the cleint. YAY!!!
We are abel to bill by the HOUR, rather then the matter, so the manageing partner is VERY pleased with me for geting these extra case’s.
The ONLY thing that is NOT so good is that I am not abel to get a percentege of the billing’s, b/c I am NOT a partner.
I am just going to get my 3% raise for now, and the $100 gift card he gave me for Lord and Taylor’s! I am heading OVER there in about an hour to see what shoe’s are on SALE today, but I think I MAY have to wait until after LABOR Day to get a real sale. The manageing partner will NOT pay me the 20% on the money I pay if I use the GIFT card, so I will have to go to NINE WEST and buy shoe’s if I want to get my alowance from him! FOOEY b/c Lord and Taylor’s has the best shoe’s! FOOEY!
woohoo!
Going on a Greek isle cruise soon! Any recommendations on hotels/places to eat/things to see in Athens and Istanbul (where the cruise begins and ends)?
Niktaw
We found Athens restaurants pretty touristy, i.e. mediocre in quality and overpriced. You won’t really have time to hunt that special hole in the wall and seeing the sights will be your priority (as it should be), so just… lower your expectations for Athens.
We did not like Athens at all, outside of the historical sights, so my advice would be to make your stay there as short as possible. YMMV of course.
Gail the Goldfish
My favorite sites in Istanbul were Topkapi Palace, Haghia Sophia, and Sultanahmet Mosque. It’s been a few years since I’ve been, so I don’t have any specific restaurant recommendations, but go to Ortakoy (a neighborhood) and try the stuffed baked potatoes. If you’re there a few days and have time to go out to the Princes’ Islands, they’re neat, but I would hit all the other major tourist destinations first.
I'm Just Me
Have a coffee or a frappe at the top of Lycabettus Hill, the food up there is over priced and not so hot, but the view is amazing and the church is lovely.
Migraine Sufferer
Seattle Meet-up? Someone threw out a comment a few weeks ago about a potential Seattle Meet-up. I’m still interested. Would a Saturday afternoon work for anyone? Or sometime during the week in the evening? Is downtown a good venue? Suggestions?? emails to contact and set up a meeting?
meara
Oh, as a road-warrior [fanofthissite], I would love a Saturday meetup! Downtown would be fine…
bar exam
This is wedding-attire related, so please skip if not interested.
I am taking the bar next week (boo!), starting a new job (yay!), and getting married next month (double yay!). I don’t have wedding shoes or jewelry yet. I’m hoping to get something from NAS but won’t have time to stop in. I’m looking for 3″ white or silvery (or bright blue? am I crazy?) open toed shoes I can dance in and wear again <$100 and sparkly earrings (also hoping to wear again) probably in the $50 range? Any recs?
Also… while I have your attention: my dress has 1" shoulder straps and a v-neck. Hair up or down (it's long and curly)? Necklace or no? I've been studying for the bar all summer and have not planned any of this!! Sorry if this post is annoying… I know my friends can only take so much of me obsessing about ALL THE DETAILS.
Silvercurls
Mazel tov! Re hair up or down: I’m sure either will look fine. I would go for comfort (you’ll look more relaxed if you’re not worried about your hair) unless you realize that your hair style needs to accommodate other activities such as attaching a veil or headpiece for the ceremony. OTOH if you’ve always wanted to be a bride in a French braid, upswept bun, or long hair hanging freely beneath a circle of flowers, go for it.
I searched etsy for “earrings”. Items are listed in the same sequence in which they caught my eye. (Everything below appeared on the first page of my search results—scary! I’m sure you can search for earrings bridal but I was too intimidated by the idea of information overload.) Have fun choosing, or do your own search, or follow someone else’s suggestions if everything here makes you want to run screaming out of the room :) .
P.S. C**p**tte commenter Kanye East has an Etsy shop. Sorry not to think of her first but it is the middle of the night where I am.
Shop: DesignsbyTBrigham
Swarovski Pearl Earrings Silver Cascade Cluster Dangle Cream Clear Crystal Bridal Jewelry Customizable
http://www.etsy.com/listing/76709660/swarovski-pearl-earrings-silver-cascade?ref=cat2_gallery_5
Shop: DivineJewel
Bridal Earrings, Victorian Style, Rose Rhinestone, Stud Earrings, ROSELANI
http://www.etsy.com/listing/90475034/bridal-earrings-victorian-style-rose?ref=cat2_gallery_3
http://www.etsy.com/listing/95915494/wedding-jewelry-crystal-and-pearl-drop?ref=cat2_gallery_12
Shop: WiredVintage
Vintage inspired button earrings, ivory earrings, rhinestone button earrings, bridal jewelry, bridal earrings, pearl earrings
http://www.etsy.com/listing/68427625/vintage-inspired-button-earrings-ivory?ref=cat2_gallery_8
Shop: PlumbCrazy
Rhinestone Chandelier Bridal Earrings — Chandelier Earrings in Silver Filigree and Swarovski Crystal Rhinestones — CONTESSA http://www.etsy.com/listing/77833738/rhinestone-chandelier-bridal-earrings?ref=cat2_gallery_9
Shop: LuLuSpendor
Wedding Jewelry, Crystal and Pearl Drop Earrings, Small bridal earrings, Swarovski Earrings. MAE Drop
http://www.etsy.com/listing/95915494/wedding-jewelry-crystal-and-pearl-drop?ref=cat2_gallery_12
Shop: Morganprather
Drop Dangle Earrings in Gold
http://www.etsy.com/listing/102097621/drop-dangle-earrings-in-gold?ref=cat2_gallery_32
Shop: SpeciallyForU
Personalized Sterling Silver Korean Name Earrings (the ones in the photo contain the message “I love you” in Korean)
http://www.etsy.com/listing/80383025/personalized-sterling-silver-korean-name?ref=cat2_gallery_15
Shop: CrinaDesign73
Bridal Earrings Cubic Zirconia Ear Wires, Cubic Zirconia Connectors and Large Cubic Zirconia Crystal Round Drops
http://www.etsy.com/listing/104979998/bridal-earrings-cubic-zirconia-ear-wires?ref=cat2_gallery_34
Shop: JaniceMarie
Clear Crystal Bridal Earrings – Long Dangle Sparkling Crystal Earrings – Cluster Earrings – Wedding Earrings by JaniceMarie
http://www.etsy.com/listing/84587018/clear-crystal-bridal-earrings-long?ref=cat2_gallery_19
TCFKAG
I’ll put links in adjoining posts to avoid mod-bot. As far as hair, I like a soft part-up/part-down or up do. I considered down for my wedding, but my hair frizzes out during the day and the hairdresser warned me it would lose any curl during the day, but I guess it wouldn’t be as much of a concern for you.
For earrings, I got mine at a antique store. You might look at the antique section on Etsy. But I’ve focused on shoes initially.
TCFKAG
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/nine-west-rocha-pump/3294857?origin=category&fashionColor=GUNMETAL+GLITTER&resultback=2088
These are four inches, but have a half inch platform. And come in blue glitter and silver glitter.
TCFKAG
Though I just noticed you’re looking for something opened toes, these are kind of cute.
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/j-renee-debut-sandal/3180115?origin=category&fashionColor=&resultback=4973
NOLA
These are the open toe version of the Nine West pump and on sale: http://www.zappos.com/nine-west-danee-gold-silver-glitter
I bought a pair of gold glitter Nine West pumps as a gift for someone and, keep in mind, the glitter is not a fine glitter and it does fall off.
TCFKAG
This one’s good, if you’re a lucky size.
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/nina-fern-dorsay-pump/3279929?origin=category&fashionColor=&resultback=3654
Hel-lo
I vote having jewelry on, but it doesn’t have to be super-expensive stuff if you don’t want. Pearl stud earrings and pearls around your neck will always look elegant.
For shoes, bring something super-comfy for the reception. Some of my friends have even changed into white flip-flops.
bar exam
Thx Ladies!
lucy stone
Go to DSW for shoes. I got a pair of bright blue Ninas there for about $50 and they were awesome. One of my sorority sisters got the same ones in champagne for her wedding because she liked them so much.
Good luck and congratulations
ss
Some belated thoughts on the watch thread a couple of days ago, from someone who works at the epicentre of status watches (east Asia, banking) :
– If you work in the ‘whiteshoe’ type professions ie. banking and similar, you will encounter colleagues, bosses and clients, probably men, who take a casual interest in the kind of watch you wear (not dissimilar to interest in someone’s new car). At its mildest, it will pass without comment. At its most intense, it will involve taking off, handling, trying on and interested questions about how you acquired it – where, when, why and how much.
– Owning an interesting watch need not be expensive. The main point is to try and get as much watch as possible for the money you’re ready to spend. This will usually mean :
(1) mechanical, not quartz – a mechanical watch has a clockwork movement whereas quartz is a battery-powered technology which dates from the 50s and which enabled the more industrial production of inexpensive wrist watches.
(2) in-house, not 3rd-party, movements – many luxury watch brands manufacture the visible parts of their watches in-house but buy the clockwork movement (the heart of the watch as it were) from a specialist manufacturer, typically a Swiss company called ETA, which supplies over 50% of the market in mechanical movements and is currently owned by the Swatch group.
– New watches which tick the boxes will be Rolex (which manufactures its own mechanical movements, albeit somewhat unimaginatively) and some current-model mechanical Seikos and Citizens (including the Eco Drives which are mostly mechanical and pretty innovative as watch technology goes). Vintage watches are another inexpensive option – fans of men’s dress watches could go for an Omega Seamaster, which was a popular model for Omega in the 50s – 70s when they were still manufacturing their own movements, and are still reasonably easy to find, robust and relatively inexpensive.
– Of course you can opt not to ‘play’ – wear something visibly fun and sporty from G-shock or Swatch, wear what you love and to hell with everyone else, or just skip wearing a watch. But do be careful of spending up for something which looks the part of a classy investment, but which is effectively just another fashion accessory with a good branding campaign attached.
[end of lecture.]
Darby
Thank you for this. SO is turning 40 shortly and has been wanting a vintage dress watch. You just did my homework for me!
Silvercurls
Reposting w/out links (first comment in moderation):
Mazel tov! Re hair up or down: I’m sure either will look fine. I would go for comfort (you’ll look more relaxed if you’re not worried about your hair) unless you realize that your hair style needs to accommodate other activities such as attaching a veil or headpiece for the ceremony. OTOH if you’ve always wanted to be a bride in a French braid, upswept bun, or long hair hanging freely beneath a circle of flowers, go for it.
I searched etsy for “earrings”. Items are listed in the same sequence in which they caught my eye. (Everything below appeared on the first page of my search results—scary! I’m sure you can search for earrings bridal but I was too intimidated by the idea of information overload.) Have fun choosing, or do your own search, or follow someone else’s suggestions if everything here makes you want to run screaming out of the room :) .
P.S. C**p**tte commenter Kanye East has an Etsy shop. Sorry not to think of her first but it is the middle of the night where I am.
Silvercurls
Oops, this was in reply to Bar Exam above. Definitely time for bed.
bar exam
Thx, got it! (also loved the Mazel Tov- I’m Jewish too!)
Bonnie
Brides to be, there are some gorgeous wedding dresses on sale at neimanmarcus dot com. This one http://www.neimanmarcus.com/p/Tadashi-Shoji-Cap-Sleeve-Lace-Mermaid-Gown-Women-s-Apparel/prod143150210_cat980731__/?icid=&searchType=SALE&rte=%252Fetemplate%252Fet1.jsp%253FNo%253D360%2526Ns%253DMAX_RETAIL_PRICE%25257c1%2526N%253D4294967275%2526st%253Ds&eItemId=prod143150210
is now about $300.
Anon
Hoping it’s not too late in the weekend for this…
Calling New Yorkers (or those familiar with the shopping!) — I’ll be in NYC and would like to go to a J. Crew store with a good selection of suits. Which location do you think would be best?
e_pontellier
The silence may be your answer… I buy a TON of JCrew and have to get all of their suits online.
2lawl
Decidedly, I love this site and reading all of the great advice! You ladies are awesome. I always, however, end up wanting to ask questions at the end of a long thread, but here’s hoping someone is still reading this far down!
I am re-writing cover letters for OCI, and I am sooo lost. Can some of the lawyers out there give me a hand? I don’t really know what I want to do yet, so it makes it hard to customize letters for different firms. They all seem relatively the same when you look at websites–how am I supposed to know why certain firms appeal to me more than others aside from their physical location? (They are all civil litigation firms with multiple offices.)
I keep wanting to write “I want to work at your firm because I want to work with really cool, smart people on really challenging and exciting projects. Oh, and I want to litigate.” And then writing about how applicable my 1L job and past work experience is. How can I say this in a more professional way, and how can I tailor it to a firm that I don’t really know anything about? I feel so clueless about law firms in general O.o
Thanks for any insights!
Bluejay
I don’t think you really need to hand-tailor the reasons why you want to work at a certain firm (frankly, they’re interchangeable, although don’t ever, ever act like they’re interchangeable during an interview). This is the format I was taught in law school and have always used:
Dear XX,
Paragraph 1: Intro. E.g., Please accept the attached materials as an application for Position. I am currently a student at Law School and [insert other interesting factoid like: a 200X graduate of University, a member of the Law Review, captain of moot court team, whatever). (If you have a reason you want to work at a particular firm or in a particular city, add it here or in the last paragraph. E.g., “As an Iowa City native, I would be honored to have the opportunity to spend the summer working with Iowa’s top litigation boutique.”)
Paragraph 2: Bragging. E.g., I chose to attend law school to pursue a career as a litigation attorney. Through my participation in Clinic, I have developed many of the skills required of a litigation associate, including conducting depositions and drafting briefs. I also have completed the trial skills program and won a mock trial competition.
Paragraph 3: Conclusion. E.g., Given my experience in activities X and Y, I believe I am an ideal candidate for Position. I would appreciate the opportunity to further discuss my qualifications in an interview. Thank you very much for your consideration.
Sincerely,
X
Regardless of the format you use, I can tell you that I would never, ever read a cover letter longer than 3 paragraphs. I don’t care if you’re the editor-in-chief of Yale Law Journal. Keep it short.
Good luck!
2lawl
Thank you!
Right now I have 4 paragraphs because I split up bragging pre-law school (career #1) and during law school. Kind of: intro — here’s what I spent the last 4 years doing and why it will help me be a good lawyer — here’s the actual law experience I have (not much!) — conclusion.
I’ll see if I can figure out how to cut it to 3. I mostly kept the pre-law school stuff because it worked really well to catch the reader’s eye last time around (I had an interesting job).
Thank you again!
Bluejay
Your cover letter should highlight things that aren’t immediately apparent from your resume, are directly applicable to the position you’re applying for, or that you want to highlight because they are truly brag-worthy (law review editor, summa cum laude, Rhodes scholar, etc). Nothing wrong with including the pre-law school stuff, but you can keep it to a sentence. E.g. “As a soldier serving in Iraq, I learned to analyze situations quickly and accurately under extreme pressure. As a law student, I have applied my analytical skills to the life stories of former child soldiers, successfully winning asylum for a dozen Ugandan teenagers through my school’s immigration law clinic.” Yadda yadda.
A big part of being a lawyer is learning to write concisely and clearly, conveying important information without obfuscating it with wordiness (of course, another big part of being a lawyer is obfuscating what doesn’t help your case). Think of your cover letter as a mini-writing sample and draft it accordingly.
Jacqueline
I picked up the Vince Camuto Parker satchel in black at the Nordstrom anniversary sale, and I’m torn about whether to keep it. It’s BIG, which is good for lugging makeup/lunch/flats/notebooks, etc. back and forth to work, but I wonder if it’s too big for my 5’3″ frame.
Here’s the bag:
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/vince-camuto-parker-satchel/3298634
Thoughts on this particular bag (cute or too trendy?) and/or the general quality of Vince Camuto leather bags?
M-C
It’s a painful dilemma.. Basically, if you really must carry makeup/lunch/flats/notebooks etc :-), then you’re stuck with a big bag. If you go too small in order to fit your frame, all you’ll accomplish is missing important elements of your day, or worse having to carry 2 bags. That’s really to be avoided imho.
You might want to put a small clutch-type bag into the big one, so that you can do occasional things with just that (lunch with clients doesn’t call for the whole daily paraphenalia)?
mamabear
Hello east coast ladies.
Since I’m traveling to the east coast most of the time now, I’m a fish out of water when it comes to work clothes. My first challenge was finding light weight “third pieces” (mostly cardigans) to be worn in hot weather. I’m pretty good there now, but if you have suggestions, I’d love to hear them.
So here’s my main question – are suede shoes at all practical in NYC? They work here in SF because our wet weather season is very, very predictable. But I’m not sure about NYC. So far, the summer thunderstorms have seemed rather unpredictable, and I’m not sure whether that continues all year, and have no ideal how often there’s snow on the ground, which negates suede obviously.
I can’t really do the commuter shoe /work shoe thing, because my work involves hoofing it between three different buildings a few times a day.
I bought the Stuart Weitzman “surround” suede wedges at NAS (item #539560) and they’re beautiful and I like the cut, but would not be a great deal for me at $199 if I never get to wear them.
e_pontellier
mamabear, I feel you are far too wise to take advice from a newbie [to this site] like me, but I am a NY-er, so here it goes!
I think suede shoes can be just fine in NYC but if the forecast is more than 25% chance of rain, I would throw a pair of Dr. Scholl’s flats in your bag, along with an umbrella. For example, this week in NYC, I would not wear suede shoes on Monday (forecast 30% chance of rain), Thursday (forecast 40% chance of rain), or Friday (forecast 30% chance of rain). I use weather DOT com and find them reliable enough. Good luck!!
M-C
mamabear, rain is unpredictable on the East Coast. So maybe it’s shorter stormy deluge more than anything in the summer, but you still have to deal with it at unexpected times (for a Californian). The big difference I found when I moved in that direction was that I needed some rain stuff that was also suitable for warm weather. It’s OK to only have a fur-lined raincoat in SF, you’ll only ever need it when it’s cold. In NY you need a lightweight trench type thing.
For NY summer humidity, it’s good to wear silk a lot. Think Japanese climate control :-). And you’ll be much better off in woven shirts, preferably with a little texture in the realm of seersucker, rather than t-shirts. Avoid polyester at all costs. Get a couple sleeveless-or-nearly options too, like cap sleeved or something that covers the shoulder a bit, things you could never use in SF. Linen pants are a classic, but I do silk pants too, love them. A silk dress would be perfect if you do dresses.
You should also start planning for winter now, as you won’t find anything least bit suitable in SF. First, you need a winter coat, ie something which reaches well below the knees (without vents), windproof if possible (wool melton is good) and which closes completely (like tall button-up collar and/or hood). Plan on buying this by October at the very latest, or you won’t have any choice at all. And also get a matching warm hat in real wool or fur, that’ll get you through most blizzards with your presumed good SF scarf collection adding color and variety.
Then you need boots. Canada-grade boots. Totally waterproof, insulated all around, slip-resistant, salt-resistant. Preferably reaching over the ankles, not necessarily knee-high. Especially if work requires you to move between buildings, you need to be able to move around town without frostbite. I highly recommend TipTop shoes, which carries good walking shoes and still has salesmen with real advice :-). Otherwise your SF pantsuits can do for the winter, as long as you think to order (also by early Fall) some silk longjohns and vests. Two or three of each will do you, as they dry very fast, but they add another 20o to bearable temperature range.
One thing you have to watch out for is climate control. In the summer you always need a cardigan and perhaps scarf, to temper the overactive a/c. In winter, you need a suitable-for-the-public inner upper layer, so that you can quickly strip if you find yourself in a suffocating spot. I found that warm bottom and a good long coat allowed me to wear practically the same silk shirts on top. In case of emergency you can rip off the hat and scarf and whip open the coat and wool cardigan in a blink, so you don’t faint in the subway :-).
Exciting :-). Get some season tickets to the Met too :-).
M-C
e_pontellier makes a very good point – you need to get used to checking the weather every morning. Otherwise, like me at first, you’ll be perpetually dressed for yesterday’s weather, and miserable :-).
Jill
Ptooey!