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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 288 Comments · by

Weekend Open Thread

Weekend Open Thread

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Helmut Lang Asymmetric Leather-trimmed jacquard jacketSomething on your mind? Chat about it here. Everybody's talking about the amazing sale at The Outnet, with clearance prices marked up to 85% off. I decided to poke around and fell in love with this gorgeous leather/jacquard jacket from Helmut Lang, which looks like a great edgy indoor/outdoor/eveningish blazer as the weather gets warmer. Lucky sizes 0 and 2 only, but the deal is pretty good: was $1,085, now $217. (Lots of DvF over 50% off now, too.)  Helmut Lang Asymmetric Leather-trimmed jacquard jacket (L-4)

Sales of note for 8.30.24

  • Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
  • Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Bergdorf Goodman – Final Days Designer Sale, up to 75% off; extra 20% off sale
  • Boden – 20% off
  • Brooks Brothers – Extra 25% off clearance
  • Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
  • J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
  • J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
  • Lo & Sons – Summer sale, up to 50% off (ends 9/2)
  • Madewell – Extra 40% off sale; extra 50% off select denim; 25% off fall essentials
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Rothy's – End of season sale, up to 50% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear in the big sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
  • White House Black Market – Up to 70% off sale

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Comments

  1. Glasses question

    This is a semi-repost from yesterday where I asked if people think the anti-reflective coating you can get on glasses is worth is. Today’s question is whether or not people recommend Warby Parker. I see some frames I like online for a decent price and they also have a store in my city. Can anyone comment on the quality of their frames and service? TIA!

    • Mrs. Jones

      I bought Warby Parker glasses in Jan. 2013 and still really like them. Service was great too.

      • Baconpancakes

        Just purchased mine today (whoops, forgot about the FSA until almost too late), and I second the service. A rep picked up on the second ring, didn’t put me on hold, looked up my order via my email address, and immediately sent over the receipt for my FSA paperwork. Despite their popularity, it seems like it’s still a pretty small and hand-run company, and the quality definitely shows in their customer service.

    • Meg March

      Love my Warby’s. They’ve held up well. I wasn’t a huge fan of going to their store: it was too busy and hard to find frames I wanted. I ended up ordering them online and trying then on at home.

    • Law Firm Recruiter

      I love my Warby Parker glasses. I’ve bought two pairs. I liked that I could try them on at home. I’ll be honest – when I bought my first pair, I thought they would be my “at home” glasses. Instead I ended up liking them more than my crazy expensive Face a Face frames. Even though my prescription hasn’t changed, I’ll be buying another pair this year.

      As an aside, the reason many frames are so expensive is that Luxottica controls 80% of the market and sells under multiple names. Warby Parker turned that model on its head. Plus I like that they donate a pair for every pair bought.

    • rook

      I generally like mine but they smudge so much more than any other pair I’ve had!

      • academama

        +1 I have no idea why but it’s annoying enough that I won’t be rebuying.

      • Harriet

        If you can get a microfibre glass cleaning cloth (the kind they sell for windows) that goes way down. Cleaning mine with that gets rid of the smudges.

    • Anonymous

      Love my Warby Parkers. I have multiple pairs and wear them almost everyday. My boyfriend also wears his everyday so they are durable and lasting. I also have a strong prescription and was still able to buy from them. Highly recommend trying them out!

    • EC MD

      Also try Rivet & Sway. They are similarly priced, only do women’s glasses and have great customer service. I really love the ones I have from them!

      • Anonymous

        I recently tried Rivet and Sway. Loved the style of the frames but not the quality–definitely did not feel the same as my normal glasses. R&S doesn’t do progressive lenses. When I took them to Costco to have lenses added they refused to process them on the basis that the frames were not sturdy enough. I am disappointed not to have an inexpensive option. I’d go for it but calibrate expectations with a standard prescription that R&S can ship from their factory. Customer service was fantastic.

    • emeralds

      Chiming in to say I love my Warby Parkers! I got my current pair in 2010 and they’re still in great shape. My next frames will almost certainly be from them as well.

    • locomotive

      I LOVE my warbies. I have 2 pairs now and they’re both great – the older one I’ve had since 2012.

  2. Meg March

    My boyfriend and I are planning a long weekend trip in celebration of both getting raises. Anyone have recommendations for a romantic weekend no than a couple hours away from NYC? We would make it a three day weekend in late spring/early summer.

    • Anon

      The Finger Lakes! Go to wineries, go hiking, eat great dinners, poke around some small towns and relax.

      • LizNYC

        I second the Finger Lakes! I went to school in Ithaca and the wineries on Cayuga Lake and Seneca Lake are wonderful (plus, a bunch of wineries have a table at the Ithaca Farmers Market right in town. Last summer, we spent one morning trying out 8 different places before lunch without being in a car.)

        If you’re outdoorsy, there is great hiking and trails around there, plus waterfalls (including one you can swim under). There’s good food. And the scenery in wonderful. /end pitch/

        • Anne Shirley

          We loved the finger lakes but thought the wine was all just really awful. Watkins Glen was crazy crowded but worth it, as were many smaller parks.

        • Jules

          Agreed, Ithaca and environs are beautiful – my son’s a first-year at Ithaca College, I’m going to visit at the end of the month (and hearing Keb’ Mo, v. excited). Just make sure to avoid move-out weekend(s) at IC and Cornell, when everything will be packed and you won’t be able to get a room near town. (We already have hotel reservations for move-IN weekend in August and the best downtown hotel was sold out six months in advance.) For IC move-out starts May 9, not sure about Cornell.

          LizNYC – did you go to IC or Cornell?

        • Ithaca

          Agree that the wine is not great, but I think it’s still worth a trip! Gorgeous location and so much fun.

          We stayed at a b&b called the Dane Emerson house – it was great.

          Make sure to eat at Just a Taste – awesome little tapas restaurant!

          • Clementine

            Second Just a Taste!

            Also, Dano’s on Seneca is very very fun. It’s a Viennese style Heuringer which has lots of options for snacks or meals. Think amazing breads with fabulous pumpkin oil spreads or delicious pastries or full meals. It’s a great place to sit outside and split a long, leisurely meal.

            Good Wines: Ravines, Lemeraux Landing, Atwood, and Red Newt. Lots of crummy wines, but tastings are either free or generally $3-5 and they often let you keep the glass if you do have to pay. Very fun and SOOOO much more affordable than Napa.

          • LizNYC

            Sorry that some of you all don’t like the wines. I’m a Riesling person myself, so I tend to like most of what I taste (plus I like cheap wine in general).

            I love Hosmer Winery. Cayuga White is my favorite bottle. I’ve also had good luck at Sheldrake and Thirsty Owl.

            I can’t remember the name of the winery that sold the commemorative bottles for my graduation, but that wine was just awful.

            Another place to eat: Boatyard Grill. It gets packed in the evening, but it’s so good! Just a Taste is amazing. Hit up Collegetown Bagels or Ithaca Bakery for great breakfasts or sandwiches. Purity Ice Cream is a must too (I’ve driven quarts from there to NYC before.)

    • Sydney Bristow

      We spent a weekend at a B&B in Cold Spring. It’s so pretty and quiet and easy to get to on Metro North.

      • Calico

        Yes! I second this. Gorgeous little town and you can walk to great restaurants from the train.

    • BE

      Mohonk Mountain House in New Paltz! My husband and I go every summer, we love it!

    • Sarabeth

      Sorry – meant to reply not report!

      Also, the Finger Lakes are awesome, I live very close by…but they are actually at least 4 hours from NYC.

    • Pink

      Catskills – We stayed near Woodstock and had fun hiking, visiting small stores and just relaxing. (we went over memorial day weekend last year)

      Mystic, CT?

      Newport – fun to visit the mansions, walk around.

  3. Solo travel ideas?

    (repost – had just posted this on the earlier thread)

    I’m thinking of planning a trip in May. Dealing with work, school and marriage stress right now and will have some money to spend, really leaning toward taking a trip on my own.

    I’d like to go away for about a week. I’ve never traveled alone. I’m kind of nervous about safety and wondering if I should go on some sort of group trip, or stay at an AI (not usually my thing), but I’d really like to go alone. I do like my alone time exploring the area I live in. I love beachy places, and I love places with good art and food.

    I’ve been looking at

    -yoga/surf camp in Costa Rica
    -St. John – found a little rental with a nice deck and view, and I can explore
    -Puerto Rico – Vieques?
    -Positano – honestly, only because I have seen pictures and loved them
    -Isla Muerjes

    I think i’m most interested in sun, something interesting to do (I can’t lay out all day, I’ll go crazy), would like to get drinks/wine, and eat good food.

    I realize this is super vague, but I don’t know where to start. Thoughts? Where would you go even if it’s totally outside of what I mentioned above? Have you traveled alone before? I’m flexible, and travel daydreaming helps me deal with stress :)

    • MBAwannabe

      I’ve been to Positano, and it is beautiful. Getting around the city can be a pain as the traffic is super congested. The food is incredible, you can take a boat to Capri which is gorgeous. You could also go to Pompeii pretty easily. I’ve done a lot of solo travel around Italy and have always been fine but I’m also a jitterbug and leave no bag unsupervised in public spaces for even a second.

      I haven’t been to any of the other places you mentioned, but I would suggest possibly doing something in Sicily (Taormina/Messina/Catania) or Greece. Both have amazing food and lots of ruins and other sites to explore.

    • DontBlameTheKids

      I have never traveled alone, but my husband got sick on our honeymoon in London. He spent three days curled up on the bathroom floor and I explored the city on my own, checking in with him every couple of hours to make sure he was alive. I was of course very very sorry he was sick and felt terrible about it, but…it wasn’t so bad to be out and about on my own.

      If I could travel alone right now, I have always wanted to see Prince Edward Island (I see several L.M. Montgomery references on this board, so maybe I’m not alone!) or a weekend in Paris. I think Greece would also be incredible to do alone.

    • TBK

      I’ve traveled alone, including internationally, and never was seriously worried about safety (although in certain areas, I did wear a ring and talked about my husband as if he were on the trip with me even though I wasn’t married). I’ve put in my pitch for Vieques here several times. I think it could be a nice trip and definitely I think a safe one.

    • rook

      We went to Costa Rica for our honeymoon and while it was beautiful and we had a great time, it is not somewhere I would feel safe going alone. Just my .02.

      • Anon

        On the flip side, I went to Costa Rica alone (and know other women who have as well). Granted I wasn’t in a large city, I was in a more rural coastal area for surfing, but i never felt unsafe. I was also tucked up in bed by around 9pm every night so that I could be up early for the morning waves, so it might have been different if I’d been out alone late at night.

      • Granola

        Yes, I always felt safe in the beachy towns in Costa Rica, less so in San Jose but I would always get out of there as soon as possible to go to the beach (or the mountains).

      • Em

        I’ve been to Costa Rica alone by myself twice. I felt absolutely fine both times. There are parts of San Jose I wouldn’t wander around in alone, and I wouldn’t wander around at all in the city at night, but the rest of the country is much more interesting anyway.

    • Batgirl

      I’ve traveled alone a lot (mostly in my early 20s, mostly internationally, and mostly as “add on” days to business trips) and had mixed feelings. Great to explore the world and yourself, but it can get lonely for some. I had trouble meeting people at that age so I was pretty much alone most of the time I did it. I also traveled to some places that, in retrospect, weren’t the safest places for young women on their own (i.e. South Africa, Botswana, and Brazil). But all in all, I think it’s a great thing to do at least once!

      I’ve been to Isla Mujeres a few times. It always felt extremely safe. It’s very small, though, so you wouldn’t want to spend more than three days there (even that might be a lot) but the beaches are beautiful (turquoise, still, warm water, white sand). I rented an apartment there through Sabrina’s Apartments (or maybe Sabina?–google it!). Highly recommend for a quick weekend getaway.

      Have fun!

    • LH

      I’ve traveled alone a bit in the US, Europe and South America but not for long trips, usually just a day or two tacked onto a business trip. I’ve never felt unsafe but I have gotten some unwanted attention. Most recently I was in Paris visiting a friend after a business trip in Europe. My friend’s a waitress so she had to work at dinnertime so I want to a restaurant by myself and a guy sat down next to me, stared at me and wouldn’t leave me alone even though I repeatedly told him I had to work and pulled out my blackberry. I didn’t feel in danger but it definitely made me uncomfortable and was not my idea of a good time. On the other hand, I spent a lovely couple of hours before/after dinner walking around Paris in the dusk/twilight by myself and rode back to my friend’s apartment on the subway after dark and never felt unsafe. What my last few solo travel experiences have taught me is I wouldn’t hesitate to spend a day or two exploring a city by myself (unless its a super dangerous place) but if I were planning a full week of vacation alone, I’d probably go on a cruise or organized tour to have some authority figure to help avoid unwanted encounters and make sure that I could fully enjoy myself. The yoga/surf camp in Costa Rica sounds awesome (I know people who have done that and loved it).

      • CKB

        I had a great time in Paris on a business trip. I had half a day to myself before my meetings, a whole day to myself at the end, and 4 evenings. I loved exploring the city on my own and only once had some unwanted attention from a waiter which made me feel uncomfortable. And once on the metro when a lady was walking up & down the car chanting something about her baby being hungry over & over again. I was glad when my stop came up.

    • baseballfan

      I haven’t ever really traveled alone (business travel notwithstanding, obvs), but if I was inclined to go somewhere alone so I could spend time in my own head, I’d seriously consider one of those yoga vacations if budget allowed. Someone I used to work with did one, I forget the name but it was in CA, and raved about it. I looked into it and the cost was seriously prohibitive for me though.

      I adore Italy and speak some passable Italian, so your idea of Positano would be high on my list as well. Or possibly many other places in Italy.

      I would be quite comfortable most anyplace alone, but that is probably because I’ve traveled extensively for work alone so I am used to it and know how to be safe.

    • Gail the Goldfish

      Vieques is beautiful. When we went, we stayed at a little apartment someone rented out and the owner warned us not to walk on the beach at night because they had had some incidents of tourists on the beach at night being robbed, but during the day it seemed perfectly safe (as did the town at night). This has also been about 4 years ago, so not sure if that’s changed.

    • SC

      I’ve traveled alone in Europe, and I enjoyed exploring by myself. I also love the feeling of “I’m by myself and can do whatever the f* I want. I can read my book, I can sit in this cafe and stare, I can go sightseeing, I can go shopping, I can go to this niche-interest museum.”

      I wasn’t there alone, but I second the recommendations of Positano/ Amalfi Coast. Great combination of sightseeing and sun!

      • emeralds

        +1. I’d also recommend adding the Cinque Terre to your list of options. There’s a lot of nice hiking along the coast, between the towns, if you don’t think you’ll be able to take napping in the sun for too long.

        Or maybe my old standby, Lisbon, Portugal! You could stay in the city and then take the train out to the nearby beaches (40 minutes one-way, last time I was there I think it cost 6E round-trip), or vice versa. This would hit all four of the things you mentioned–beaches, art, wine, and food. I lived in Lisbon for a semester in undergrad, and have traveled there solo several times since, and it is absolutely no problem for a solo woman: the violent crime rate is virtually zero, although you need to be aware of European-city risks like pick-pockets, and of course be mindful of walking around some areas alone after dark; and I’ve found Portuguese men to be less likely to engage in catcalling and creeping than some of their other Southern European peers, if that’s something you think would make you uncomfortable.

      • Ruby

        I’ve traveled a ton alone for business and pleasure. Europe- can be kind of lonely, including Positano and Cinque Terre, unless you like drunk Americans. Yoga retreats are great- I spent a week in Mexico at a spa place now closed with yoga and hiking, and loved group meal setup and instant people yet ability to have space/quiet in my cabana. It is a tad scary at night, but worth it. I spent last weekend alone at a friend’s beachhouse and loved it. Relaxed deeply. Just pick something and do it:)

    • Pippit

      I’ve done a ton of solo traveling, and I love it. I’ve gone with package tours (where the arrangements are taken care of for you, and your day is pre-programmed) and also truly on my own (just bought a plane ticket and took off). I think that the two most important things to remember are (1) keep your safety radar on “high”- for example, if the street feels dodgy, take a cab or find someone to walk with; and (2) you usually don’t have to be alone, if you don’t want to be. Lots of people are traveling, and if you go to see a museum, there will be lots of other people there. If you are willing to be friendly and outgoing, you can probably meet someone there who would be a pleasant companion for an hour, and who would welcome the company. You can strike up a conversation with the person at the next table in a cafe. People who are traveling on vacation tend to be more relaxed and open than people commuting on the bus, so it is easy to strike up a conversation and, in my experience, everyone wants to talk to the adventuress striking out on her own.

      In terms of where: Italy was great, easy to get around, and folks were very friendly; Costa Rica was a very different kind of trip, but it has good transportation, and lots of adventure and things to do and see. I’d prefer those over a beachy vacation, mostly because there seems to be more activity options. But if you’re into that, have a great time. You can absolutely do this.

      Bon Voyage!

    • Amy H.

      I highly, highly recommend a week at Rancho La Puerta in Mexico — hiking and yoga retreat with amazing food. You can be as connected or unconnected with others (mostly women) as you want to be, and do as many or as few classes/activities as you like. Warm and sunny March through November.

      • Bean

        Have you been to Rancho La Puerta? If so, can you comment on your experience (and if you were solo)? I am seriously considering going there on my own…have never taken a solo vacation before, but like the original poster, I’m in a place where that’s my option right now. It gets great reviews, but I’d love to hear more from someone who’s actually been.

  4. zora

    Aw Cr8p! I completely heart this jacket, I love asymmetrical stuff! plus the leather, SO HAWT. But again, for my aspirational self. Maybe I should create a blog with the entire aspirational zora’s wardrobe, so that I can play with it without actually, you know, putting myself in debtor’s prison….

  5. Anon

    Shopping challend: Taking engagement photos in a week and just realized I could get a new dress for the occasion. I have no idea where to start and would love suggestions. It will mostly be indoors and I like color over black/grey/neutrals. $100-150 max.

  6. Sydney Bristow

    I love this jacket but I’ve spent way too much money today! My shopping resistance is low today apparently. On the positive side, I’ve ordered some promising choices for cute casual clothes to wear on my European vacation last month.

    I’m inspired to try and dress a little nicer on the weekends. Right now I pretty much wear sweats at home and throw on jeans and a t-shirt to run errands. Are there any go to items you have on the weekends that would help me step it up?

    • anne-on

      Are they nice jeans? If not, maybe try finding a pair of comfortable skinny (or ankle length) jeans for the spring. I go for a preppy weekend look so I live in boat shoes, bermuda shorts or skinny jeans and button down shirts in the spring/summer. I also have a young son so this look translates extremely well to running around with him while still feeling like I look a little polished. I’ll add a colorful belt/infinity scarf/fun jewelry if I feel fancy.
      For girly kid free activities ponte dresses or maxi dresses are just as comfy as sweats and pair well with simple slides.

      • Sydney Bristow

        They’re ok. Dark wash and slim fit but not skinny. Button ups don’t work for me because of my chest but I love the preppy nautical look you’re talking about.

        Great point about accessories. I need to pull out all my scarves that I never wear. I think I forget about them because they are hidden in a drawer.

        • zora

          oh yeah, totes accessories! Get your scarves out and have them hanging somewhere, definitely! I have mine hanging in a holder on my bedroom door, so I can see them all and can grab one on my way out the door.

          I have this one from Ikea: http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/70108912/ But I’ve seen similar designs for super cheap at marshalls/ross, etc.

    • zora

      First: LOVE our imaginary matching wardrobes ;o)

      Second: heck yeah, there are so many things that are comfy but look deceptively nice! A couple things:

      1. Short, flirty skirts over (opaque) leggings with boots
      2. a super edgy jacket like that Gap moto jacket in sweatshirt material we were discussing on the morning post
      3. just some cute but comfy edgy shoes can go a long way! I love Born booties because they are as comfy as sneakers
      4. Two Words: Jersey. Dresses. I have a bunch now that I rotate through all the time, just like that Patagonia dress that was posted here a little while ago but that people thought was not office appropriate. Or I have several comfy, stretchy dresses from Target, from Horny Toad. Prana and Athleta have some. Again, throw those over leggings and I am super comfy but look dressed up. It’s an Illuuusionnnn. ;o)

      I might have some other ideas, but that’s what’s coming to me right now.

      • Sydney Bristow

        I do have a jersey dress from target that I like. I should seek out some more. I did order 2 maxi jersey dresses that looked cute. One is just plain black and the other is black with diagonal white stripes. I thought those would be good for the trip because I can just accessorize them up or down as necessary. I’ve never worn a maxi dress or skirt before though so I’m not sure how they’ll look.

        I also ordered a pair of green capris (slightly darker than mint) and cobalt capris and have some super cute wedge sandals on the way as well.

      • Edna

        I second the recommendation for jersey dresses! Other casual dresses are also great – at least when the weather starts getting a little nicer. Also maxi skirts.

        When the weather is a little bit cooler, my weekend uniform tends to be something along the lines of skinny jeans + sweater + scarf + boots. I also sometimes replace the sweater with a cute top or plain t-shirt and a blazer or jacket.

  7. Greensleeves

    Happy Friday! I need makeup recommendations from the pale-skinned members of the group, please. I’ve recently realized that my current foundation (Clinique compact foundation) is too heavy. I don’t like the way it feels and it’s too heavy for my 40+ year old skin. I decided to try a CC cream and started with a drugstore brand to see what I thought. I have the Almay version and I really like how it feels, but even the lightest color (there are only three shades, supposedly self-adjusting) is a bit too dark for me and is not flattering. So, can anyone recommend a CC cream that works well for the ghostly pale?! I’m willing to upgrade to something better than what I can buy at Target now. I have a Sephora nearby, as well as all the usual department store makeup counter brands. Thanks much!

    • bb

      I LOVE Clinique BB cream for a lighter foundation. I am ghostly but not pink toned and the shade 2 is right for me, even if on the website it looks super dark/tan. It’s very sheer, so it comes out of the tube looking pretty dark but blends right into my super-white skin.

      • Foundation

        I really like the Clinique CC cream. Not too sure of the difference between the BB and CC, but the CC has good coverage and is the best “foundation” I have found for my skin

    • AEK

      I really like the Lorac CC cream; Sephora carries it. Can’t comment too much on #1, the palest shade (I wear 2), but it looks really white!

    • AIMS

      Go to Sephora and ask them to make you up a couple of samples to try at home and in natural light.

    • DontBlameTheKids

      I am very pale, and I don’t like CC or BB creams at all because they are usually too dark. I’ve had some luck with Laura Mercier tinted moisturizer, but only during summer, because again, in winter it is too dark. For just straight foundation, I really like Chanel Aqua, or something like that. I can’t remember the name.

      • Traveling with babies?

        Try the Korean brands at the H-Mart. I too am Casper the Friendly Ghost colored and have had good luck with Korean cosmetics, particularly Sulwhasoo. Most of the BB creams are designed to make your skin look as pale and white as possible (except for the versions designed to function more as concealer – but you should be able to tell).

          • Mary Ann Singleton

            I like the Dr Jarts BB cream and I’m very pale too.

            Also wanted to say that I like your blog.

          • Law Firm Recruiter

            Second the Dr. Jart’s recommendation. I’m paler than Casper and have been using it for years.

            Also, Laura Mercier expanded the color selection for the tinted moisturizer. I used to use the Nude but only in the summer and I’ve switched to the Porcelain. There are several more shades, including a few lighter than the original Nude.

          • Anonymous

            Along similar lines as the Laura Mercier suggestion, the tinted moisturizer at Target – Sonia Kashuk’s – might work. I am a “light ivory” in Cover Girl and I use the second lightest SK tinted moisturizer of 4.

    • Bonnie

      I love Tarte’s BB cream and know that they have a very light option. Ask a Sephora associate for a sample and test it out in natural light.

      • Anonymous

        +1

        I love the tarte BB cream. Since I started using it, people always comment on my “great skin.” T

        When I first wanted to try it I asked for a sample and tried it for a couple of days and LOVED it.

    • Casper

      I’m extremely pale and I love the Philosophy BB cream. I wear the lightest shade. It’s really moisturizing. It’s sheer but does a good job of blurring any imperfections. I’ve tried a lot of Bb creams. Most of them were really thick and dry feeling or else never absorbed and felt sticky. The philosophy is the perfect texture.

    • TJ

      MAC face and body foundation. Sheer and easy to apply, never feels heavy, wears evenly throughout the day. It’s like a tinted moisturizer, without the “moisturizer” that can so often result in irritation or breakouts. And the color range seems to have something for just about everyone, especially on the light end of the spectrum.

    • Greensleeves

      Thanks for all the great recommendations! Hoping to get to the mall tomorrow to try some of them out.

  8. preg anon

    I’ve seen recommendations for the YSL concealer on here. So, I went to buy it, but I gawked at the price. Is it really worth it??? Maybe I just don’t know how good concealer can be. Does anybody have another recommendation for undereye concealer that’s really good? I’m using the Bare Minerals kind right now and don’t find it all that fabulous.

    • Anon

      I’ve used the YSL concealer in the past but actually prefer Nars’ Radiant Cream Concealer. It’s $29 at Sephora. The YSL concealer works fine, but Nars is less expensive and has better coverage in my opinion.

      • June

        Another vote for NARS. I also like Maybelline 24 hour. Both have them have somewhat limited colors though so hopefully one works for you.

    • SC

      I also bawked at the price after reading about the YSL concealer here about a year ago. I’m firmly in camp “It’s really worth it, and I just didn’t know how good concealer can be.” It light and just glides on and doesn’t get clumped in the little wrinkles under my eyes. I am now on my third tube, and this is probably the first concealer I have ever re-purchased.

      • SC

        *balked. “bawked” was that word merged with preg anon’s “gawked.” I’m ready for the weekend.

        • Jules

          We knew what you meant. “Bawk” is what you do when you don’t want to pay a price that makes your eyes pop.

          I had a witness once who told me that getting ready for cross-examination made him “flustrated.” I knew what he meant, too.

          • sweetknee

            I actually used the word “validify” a few days ago. A cross between validate and solidify. I think it should be a word, along with “bawked”.

          • anon

            It took me a second to realize validify was not a real word — it totally should be!

        • preg anon

          Ha! I think balked is the right word anyway, not gawked.

          On another note, when you realize later that you misspelled a word in an email or chat session (my firm has Lync; anyone else?), do you usually correct yourself or just let it go?

          • Ginjury

            It depends. If we’re still in conversation and it was the email/IM I just sent, I’ll usually do a quick *correction or if I used the wrong word, I might say something like “and by “__”, I mean ___.” If it was a few messages back, I won’t worry about it.

          • SC

            We don’t have internal chat sessions, but if I misspell something or make some other mistake in an informal, internal email, I just let it go unless there’s a particular reason to correct it – for example, if it could cause confusion or if it might be forwarded externally or incorporated into work product. My office may be more relaxed though. The only time anyone has ever corrected a mistake in internal email was to point out (when I first started) that Outlook auto-corrects a (state-specific) legal term I was using – which makes sense because that would probably have happened again and possibly in a more embarrassing context.

          • Mary Ann Singleton

            No idea, but here’s what happened to me – we use the proprietary Outlook chat program at work, and as I was chatting with my boss about amendments to an agreement, I wanted to make a comment about subsection (l) – it’s just that if you type it that way in chat it becomes a heart emoticon when sent. I was pretty embarrassed. Also, if you type (b) it becomes an oktoberfest style beer glass. That’s less embarrassing since my boss likes beer.
            Is it the weekend yet?

          • preg anon

            Ha! That’s happened to me too with beer! So funny. I sent an email to a few people internally the other day and wrote “piece of mind” – bah. I so wanted to send another email correcting it but I knew there was no non-lame way to do it, so I just hoped they wouldn’t notice.

        • Baconpancakes

          I think it’s appropriate. To BAWK like a chicken at the absurdly high price, right?

    • DontBlameTheKids

      I don’t know how well it works, because I have never tried it, but I do know that YSL often has 20% off on their website. Temptalia usually posts the coupon codes, and it’s pretty much every week. If you want to try it, hold out for a coupon!

    • Edna

      I emphatically recommend the Bobbi Brown creamy concealer kit. It comes with both a concealer and a powder to set the concealer.

    • Darjeeling

      I say no. I was so excited to get it but preferred the knockoff, maybelline magic lumi (or something like that)

  9. Anon

    Can I just get sympathy/empathy today? I’m a lawyer at a small firm with a pretty decent job but sometimes I hate it. My friends are moving firms or loving their jobs or getting new jobs and I just feel like I’m stagnating. Plus I’m still single and I’m starting to realize how I’m no one’s family anymore… my friends are getting married and moving on to their lives and solidifying their families with their husbands, and my parents have their own life now and I just feel so alone and like I’m not accomplishing anything anymore.

    • Ellen

      Yay! Open Thread’s! I love Open thread’s!

      As for the OP, Hug’s to you b/c I am in the SAME Place as you. In fact I could have writen your p’ost, so we are trueley SOUL sister’s. But beleive me, you are accomplisheing alot, and it won’t be long until you find your OWN majical prince Charming who will sweep you off of your feet, take you to his castel, and MARRY you, b/c you are acomplished, have a good job, and are self suficieint.

      In fact, you sound more self suficient then me, b/c I do NOT have many freind’s left from college that I still comunicate with. My work has taken over my life, and the guy’s I meet do NOT want to marry me, but just want to have sex. Even Benjamin was stareing at my boobies yesterday thru my new white silk blouse that the manageing partner made me buy and wear to distract him. So I worry now that my birthday is comeing up, that I am also getting a little old for the sex thing, and that I will need to attract men with my brains as my look’s fade. Also, my tuchus is getting bigger and now I need for it to get smaller if I am to go to the Hamton’s, I cannot have a big tuchus with my batheing suit’s, even the one piece one’s will NOT look good if my tuchus is coming out of both side’s. FOOEY!

      So you should keep workeing, but work out like me to try and keep your tuchus slim, and do NOT eat alot of food if you are planning on goieng to the Hamton’s. In the mean time, know that you are a profesional who can do ANYTHING if you put you’re mind to it. YAY!!!!

    • DontBlameTheKids

      Hey. Yes, you can have all the sympathy, because feeling left behind absolutely sucks.

      And now. It’s Pi Day, so go find yourself some pie and write two things you want to accomplish by April 30. Thinking short term when I can’t always completely control the long term sometimes helps me. I hope it helps you too.

      • January

        I want to send you sympathy, too, because I’ve been there, but I liked what DontBlameTheKids had to say so much that I don’t have anything to add, except a virtual hug. Hang in there. Get a good night’s sleep tonight and do something nice for yourself tomorrow (even if being nice to yourself means sleeping until noon).

      • Matilda

        Big hugs, Anon. Based on having gone through some similar patches, I’ll add to Don’tBlameTheKids’ advice and say that you should also write down two new things you want to TRY before April 30, just to see if they are for you. It sounds to me like you’re in one of those places where your life is getting ready to grow in a new direction. Sometimes it’s helpful to try out a possible direction and see how it feels. It doesn’t matter what the things are — knitting, taking a writing or painting class, rock climbing, yoga, signing up for a 5K, short-term fostering a dog, or whatever — and you don’t have to love them. Just try them on and see what you think. Good luck!

      • LR

        So much sympathy and empathy coming your way!
        Can I add to the vent?

        I just found out another really close friend of mine is moving away imminently, which is great for her, but leaving me feeling increasingly lonely.
        Along the same lines — my work friend just announced that he’s leaving for a new position. While I’m very happy for him, I’m terribly sad that the person I enjoyed working most and my go-to person for a both work-related questions and a mental break is leaving. Sighs.

    • Eleanor

      I’m right there with you, on all counts, and I’m sending sympathy in your direction! I have more to say but will have to post tomorrow morning.

    • Lissy

      You are just in a funk! I’m sorry things are not going well. Try to remind yourself that all those friends and family do love you, despite your not seeing them regularly. And no one loves their job ALL of the time! They just tell you when things are great.

    • zora

      Awwww, SO much empathy! I really feel stuck, too, and I think everyone goes through times of feeling lonely. It really s*cks but you’re not alone. And you are STILL part of your parents’ family!! even if it doesn’t feel like it sometimes, you will always be their kid. PLUS, you are part of the ‘r3tt3 family! You have tons of internet friends right here! Sending lots of internet hugs.

      And +314,159,265,359 to the Pi Day suggestion! That is the best idea ever, I had almost forgotten,but I think I’m going to have to go get a slice of pie today!

    • Granola

      I could have written this post today. So cranky and exhausted after months of 250+ billable hours, and even though i do like what I do, I don’t want to live like this anymore. I don’t want to come home to an empty apartment after 15+ hours in the office. I don’t want to snap at coworkers because I’m miserable inside. 2014 will have to see some big changes for me and I just started thinking that I may have hit the end of the road for my biglaw career.

    • Otter

      I’m definitely sending sympathy your way, because this feeling sucks. But I would also say it might help to widen your perspective, as I’m sure your job and marital status are not the only thing that defines you. Feel good about your accomplishments, your experiences, about how you treat others, about your personal growth & successes in all areas, not just job & family. It also sounds like you could use a pick-me-up, whether that is trying something new/learning a new skill, or simply getting out for a brief vacation.

    • Anon sympathy

      Sympathy coming your way. And I can relate. I’ve had two deaths in my family in the past month and I’ve never felt so alone in my life when I realized I didn’t even have anyone in the same town as me to sit and cry and talk with. (My immediate family has all moved away, and I can definitely relate to my parents having their own life that doesn’t really include me!!)

      And while I do often like (some days even love!) my job, I have let it overtake my life. I’ve billed 130+ hours already this month and will probably keep up that pace for at least the next month. No wonder I’m single with no close friends.

      No advice, but I just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone in feeling alone or like you’re not part of a family. I feel so lost and sad a lot of the time.

  10. Ciao, pues

    How do you negotiate to reduce a hospital bill? I got a 4-figure hospital bill for a two-day hospital stay after the birth of my daughter (majority of charges are room and care and a newborn screening). My HMO, generally considered good insurance, only covered a small portion of the services. Has anyone successfully reduced these kinds of charges? The internet leads me to believe that these charges are somewhat arbitrary and can be reduced, but I have no idea how to approach it. Ideas?

    • roses

      Oh gosh, I’m so sorry. I haven’t been in that position, but the NYT ran a feature several months ago about the ridiculously high costs of giving birth at hospitals, and if I recall the couple in the story negotiated their bill down. You might want to look in the comments on that story for tips.

    • Batgirl

      I’ve never tried this, but I did inquire about what one can do, in general, about high medical bills. The hospital said that you can submit some paperwork showing financial burden and they would often reduce the fees. But I wouldn’t expect them to do that absent a real showing of financial hardship.

      If it makes you feel any better, my pre-insurance (very different) charges for a 2.5 day hospital stay were close to $70K! Thank God for insurance!

    • Frugal doc

      First, get a detailed bill of all charges. Make sure there aren’t any blatant mistakes… Like charges for a service you never received. Next, call your insurance and make sure there isn’t something that should have been covered that wasn’t. Ask about every single charge denied. And if it seems like something needed more medical justification then the doctor provided, consider calling your doctor if additional codes were needed. Consider filing an appeal.

      And then finally, never pay full price. Call the hospital and tell them you are paying out of pocket and you would like the self pay discount. Usually, this is at least 20% off. If that is still too high, ask for more off, and/or ask for a payment plan.

      It is amazing what you can get if you are willing to fight. Stinks though. I hate doing this….

    • hoola hoopa

      Definitely ask. Talk to someone on the phone and straight up (but politely!) ask what you can do. It’s really not uncommon for hospitals to reduce the cost for self-pay or paying all at once, or to set up payment plans (which may also come with a cost reduction). They want to get paid *something* and understand the best way to do with with a consumer is to work with them, so hospitals are generally willing to do *something*. Be nice to the person over the phone. Remember that it’s not their fault but that they can help.

      Talk with your HMO, too. Medical coding errors can affect payment, so it may be as simple has having someone review the claim and identify what caused a lower than expected payment. Our HMO also has some sort of service to assist members who cannot pay their bill, although I don’t know the details.

    • Sydney Bristow

      I think there is someone at the hospital known as a “patient advocate” who is supposed to be helpful to talk to. I’ve never done it myself but that is commonly recommended on a financial podcast I listen to. Good luck!

      • Philanthropy Girl

        Additionally – my insurance company also has a patient advocate who will go to bat for you with the hospital. It may be worth looking to see if your company offers a similar service.

        Good luck!

    • L

      +1 to all the other advice here.

      Consider also asking the hospital to help you with documentation to prove that X was “medically necessary” aka the phrase that pays. A lot of companies automatically issue denials until you go back and get documentation. If the hospital can’t prove that it was medically necessary, you should very politely ask why X was done (unless you asked for it).

      If you can pay in cash, ask them not only if there’s a self-pay discount but a cash pay discount.

      And finally, not that it helps you, but for others, ask for a detailed policy explanation when pursuing any major medical test/procedures. Ask the hospital to get you the codes ahead of time and call your insurer yourself and ask if it will be covered. A lot of times they’ll try to get you the run around, but if you have the specific codes, you can get the answers easier.

    • Mountain Girl

      VP of finance at a hospital – this is what I tell patients.

      First of all…be nice. That should go without saying but many of the discounts require a bit of subjective reasoning so you want the hospital employee on your side.

      Step 1) Make sure the denied charges from the insurance company were properly denied. Call and talk to the hospital billing personnel about this. They have a vested interest in having this bill properly paid because its much easier to get the payment from the insurance company than the patient. Schedule an appt if you need to but have them review the denied charges. They may be able to help you out and fight with your insurance company on your behalf.

      Step 2) Review the detailed bill for the individual charges. You aren’t going to have much luck getting them to negotiate or adjust individual line items. You really have to accept that some of your ancillary services seem incredibly expensive (lab, radiology and pharmacy particularly). Lab and radiology equipment is highly sophisticated and expensive and the techs are highly compensated. These are just expensive services. Pharmacy is expensive because of the extensive oversight and regulations and pharmacists have doctorate degrees so they don’t come cheap. And you have to staff them 24/7/365 so even if you just have one pharmacist on duty at a time you still need 5 or 6 pharmacists to staff around the clock.

      Step 3) All hospitals probably have a financial assistance policy. This used to be known as “charity care” but has been renamed in recent years. Generally this is a sliding fee discount based on income/assets. If you are a high wage earner or have assets you might not qualify but its worth it to ask. If you are a high wage earner I would ask them where the scale tops out so you know whether it is worth requesting an completing the paperwork. We require a denial from medicaid before we grant assistance so this is something to consider.

      Step 3) If you don’t qualify for financial assistance and you have enough cash to pay the bill in full ask about a cash discount and/or a self pay discount. We would give a cash discount in this case since you do have insurance but you wouldn’t qualify for a self pay discount. The self pay discount is generally offered to uninsured individuals to compensate for the contractual adjustment that insured individuals receive. These discounts are not given automatically in most cases. You will need to ask specifically for them. They might be able to stack the discounts so ask about all the discounts available. If you have a zero interest credit card it might be worth transferring the balance to the card to get the cash discount. Provided you can pay the card balance before interest begins to accrue the savings could be significant.

      Step 4) if you can’t pay in full you will need to ask about payment arrangements. Many hospitals will limit the amount of time you can stretch your payments. Most that I know of are somewhere between 12 to 18 months but they also have minimum payments so you can’t take 18 months to pay a $200 balance. If you can’t make the payments in that period of time you will need to find another financing source. We have at least 3 external financing sources that will provide a loan without collateral. This is becoming fairly standard in the industry.

      Generally a financial counselor will want to help you get this paid. You need to be proactive because once the bill become delinquent you may lose some of these options.

      • Hope this is helpful

        After getting a detailed bill, it might help to go on healthcarebluebook dot com. I think it’s geared to help folks who are paying out of pocket for medical costs. So it may not be in point, but with any luck you might find it a useful negotiation tool. Good luck.

      • SMSS

        This is … so wonderful. Mountain Girl – I think you have done every one of us an immeasurable favor. Thank you so much for sharing this!

  11. Mint Jeans

    All I can think about is MINT JEANZ. I feel like fleece tights girl. Can anyone help me find a pair in size 14?

  12. 312

    I need to cover up some random gray hairs & can’t see my stylist for a few weeks. Does anyone have some recommendations for at home hair color? I was thinking of trying one of those do your own highlighting kits to just try and cover the gray strands. Any thoughts are appreciated!

    • zora

      I’ve really been liking Clairol’s new Nice and Easy Root Touch Up Kit, because it comes with a little bowl and a brush, so you can use the brush to be more specific in applying the color. I’d go a little darker or lighter than your natural hair color so that it will naturally look like highlights or low lights maybe.

    • Anon

      Unless you know what you’re doing or have a friend who does, don’t give yourself highlights. You may want to avoid L’oreal dye because some of theirs are metallic dyes (esp Feria), which are harder to dye over. If it’s only for a few weeks, maybe try a demi-permanent like Clariol Natural Instincts, though I’m not sure about the gray coverage. Otherwise, Garnier Nutrisse has worked well for me.

      • CKB

        I also use Garnier Nutrisse and have for a few years now. My regular stylist (who only cuts my hair) has complimented me on the color.

    • Former Hairdresser

      Former hairdresser – PLEASE do not try to cover a few grays with a highlight kit. It won’t work like I think you’re thinking it will. If your hair is currently highlighted by your stylist, you really need to leave it alone, otherwise you’re likely to need corrective color for her to blend what she does with what you do, and it will cost you more.
      The comment about metallic dyes in L’oreal color above is correct, please don’t use them, or henna products.

      Any of the temp options, the wand, crayon, etc are good options.
      If your stylist colors your hair to match your natural or darker, you can use a demi permanent like clairol natural instincts on your roots only in the shade closest to what your stylist does, but DO NOT pull it through your ends.

      If your stylist colors you lighter than your natural, honestly, you need to leave it alone or use one of the temp options.

    • Fishie

      I’ve been using Just for Men beard dye on mine! It comes in 2 little tubes where you only have to mix as much as you need, and I apply it with an old eyeshadow brush.

  13. annoness

    Identity theft TJ: I posted back in January that someone tried to open up credit cards in my name. It’s two months later, and they’ve tried to open around 10 different accounts while actually getting into one that already exists. I looked at my credit score and it looks like it’s dropped from all of the hard inquiries!!

    Has anyone else gone through this? We’re going to be looking for apartments in a few months and I don’t want this to affect our chance of getting an apartment.

    • mascot

      Did you put the security freezes on your account and file reports with the reporting companies? Hard inquiries only comprise about 10% of your score. Also, before someone runs your credit, I’d let them know you were an identity theft victim.

      • annoness

        I have an alert (no freeze), police report and FTC affidavit. I’ve gotten what I could removed online, but for two of the agencies I have to snail mail requests, and I’m just a bit worried if those aren’t taken off before we move.

        • Sydney Bristow

          Is there a reason you didn’t freeze your credit? I thought that would prevent any further inquiries.

          • annoness

            I’ve asked whomever I’m working with before and usually said that freezing is a last resort.

          • Meg Murry

            If someone has your info and is actively trying to open accounts in your name, I’m pretty sure you’ve reached “last resort” measures. I’d go for the freeze – may be more of a pain to open new lines of credit, but less than dealing with the aftermath of someone using your identify.

        • Well Heeled Blog

          Yes, put a freeze on all three bureaus. I haven’t had theft problems (knock on wood) but I read some scary stories about identity theft that sounded so horrible I preemptively froze all my accounts. It’s $5 to $10 to set up a freeze and it cost the same amount to unfreeze, depending on your state, but I think that’s a small price to pay for greater peace of mind. In your case, it sounds like a freeze is absolutely necessary.

          Click on my name if you are interested in my post about credit freezes.

    • Anonymous

      You need a fraud alert on all of your credit reports, and to start working with them to get them removed.

  14. Casual shoes with socks?

    Any good ideas for casual shoes you can wear with socks? Sadly, I am a crew socks + birkenstocks wearer (I shuffle slowly through life) or I wear my running shoes. With shorts. I’m trying to step up my game if it ever warms up. My feet seem to sweat a lot and get blisters, so I wear footies with my work shoes, but then haven’t worked so well with my casual shoes (often clogs, but I cannot do clogs with shorts). I’m thinking of investing in a pair of white Tretorns so I can wear with footie socks, but I can’t think of a non-sneaker and I’d love to wear dressier (Lilly shifts) clothes on weekends but my footwear looks so ridiculous with anything halfway nice looking.

    • hoola hoopa

      If blisters are part of the problem, you might just need to find shoes that fit you better. Materal is important for sweating and blisters, too.

      Have you tried flats with no-show socks (like Hue)? Clarks are really comfortable and generally soft leather that probably won’t give blisters.

      And with summer coming, you can wear sandals. You don’t need to worry about sweating with sandals, so find a pair that fits well.

      You could also try booties. Different look, but they can work with dresses.

    • Jules

      Sport mary janes? I hear good things about the LE styles. I wear J-41/Jambu (vegan), but there are lots out there. I’ll put a link in a separate comment.

      And there are lots of cute sort-of sneakers that you could wear with shorts and dresses; I especially like the sneakers and canvas flats from Keen (again, links to follow).

      For blisters, try using Bodyglide on the spots that tend to rub.

    • Lissy

      I think oxfords look cute with dresses. I’m not sure how they would work with socks, but they might work with footies.

  15. Artie

    Hi ladies, I’m stumbled upon this website where you can (very simplistically) compare how your life would be if you lived in another country. I’m an Australian who lived in the US, but now lives in Australia, so I found it very interesting to see what it said for me. I may get moderated for the link but… here it is:
    http://www.ifitweremyhome.com/compare/AU/US
    To be honest, it did sound somewhat true to my experience at the end of college in the US, which I hadn’t ever really stopped to think about.

    • roses

      It is interesting, but the numbers they’re using appear to be out of date – the unemployment rate in the US is down to 6.7%.

      • Anon

        For what it’s worth, I’m an Australian immigrant to the US, and I know what my life would be like in Australia (see eg my cousins). I would never have gone to a top college, would certainly not be a lawyer, and wouldn’t have nearly as many opportunities here. There are always trade offs.

  16. L

    DC folks- we are buying a place so in order to get out of our lease we need to find someone to take over our apartment (not a sublet, a tenant with their own new lease). Other than craigslist any suggestions for places to list a DC apartment? Ways to find a tenant?

  17. TO Lawyer

    Article about women in Hollywood who are the main breadwinners (link in reply): Senior Attorney, the story about the second woman reminded me of you!

    • Senior Attorney

      Yowch!

      And it’s not just that it’s odd to pay a man (spousal support), but that it feels wrong to pay a man who didn’t provide much, if any, support (emotional, domestic, or otherwise) to the woman during the marriage while she made the money she’s paying him!

      Honestly, I think being a high earner is often seen as a black mark against the woman in a relationship: “How dare you make all this money and make me feel bad about myself!”

      Blech.

      • Anonymous

        I realize that’s been your experience, but not mine at all! My FI has never had a problem with me earning more, and helps out way more around the house when my hours are more. the problem isn’t that you made more, its that your (thankfully soon to be former) husband was a jerk.

  18. Expectant Mother Parking

    Expectant mother parking/parent w kid parking. I get it but it still irritates me. Rawr!

    • Casual shoes with socks?

      My pet peeve is for places with expectant mother parking but not parent with kid parking (IMO the latter can be much harder than the former).

      Ideally, parent with kid parking is also right by the cart return.

      I think why I hate it is b/c there’s usually one pregnant person spot and the sort of stores that have this all seem to be for pregnant people. So, SOL for the other 100 people in the store.

      • Orangerie

        I’m sorry, but why should there be special parking places for parents with children? Bringing your child to a store is not a physical disability.

        • mascot

          I don’t want special parking but I do wish there were wider parking spaces though. Loading kids in/out of carseats is hard when someone is parked too close.

        • anon

          parent+child parking next to the cart return is extremely helpful when you have multiple, very young children. when you finish loading in the groceries and have an empty cart, an infant carrier, and 2 toddlers and two arms… do you load the kids in, lock the doors, run and put the cart away, and race back? take the kids with you to cart return and not be able to carry them all back with you? abandon the cart in the middle of the parking lot? it’s more of a safety issue than a disability issue.

        • Aggie

          At my grocery store, there is one parent with kid parking spot next to every cart return….but they are typically far from the entrance (at least midway through the parking lot if not further.) If these spots make parent’s lives easier, more power to them. I as a practice never park near a cart return because of the high probability of my car getting hit by a cart.

      • Casual shoes with socks

        Oh, I don’t think that there should be any of this (except that maybe all spaces, esp. handicapped) should be a bit wider, to judge by the door dings I’ve been getting. And I think that the handicapped spots should have a little lane beside them (at least some of them). I am not sure how people can navigate if able-bodied me is having to do the crab-walk in / out of my car or sometimes go in over the passenger side.

    • Wildkitten

      I mean. Its just someone painting the parking lot, right? Only disabled parking is regulated by the law? Park wherever you want.

      • Expectant Mother Parking

        I actually did park there and ran into my destination for 5 mins. The parking lot was packed and I was late. Part of me felt bad and part of me felt like a badass rebel.

        • Wildkitten

          This makes me want to go Banksy and spray paint “Wildkitten Parking Only” at all my favorite stores.

    • Jo March

      I might have agreed with you – until I hit my third trimester and grocery shopping left me practically immobile with hip pain. Every step I don’t have to walk was a blessing.

  19. M

    Anniversary Gifts??? But I already gave a shower and wedding present!

    Do anniversary gifts constitute another in the long line of expected wedding-related presents (Yes, Emily Post, I know gifts should never be “expected”)? Do others buy anniversary gifts? If so, where can you draw the line, only ‘big’ years (25, 40, 50?) or only for family members?

    In my situation, I’ve been invited to a dinner party to celebrate my brother’s 5-year anniversary. I just found out that others are bringing gifts and the general consensus is that gifts are expected. Thoughts?

    • Anon

      That’s a new one to me – I’ve never heard of anyone giving another couple anniversary gifts.

    • Anonymous

      5 years?? If it was a big anniversary (like 50!) a party with gifts sounds reasonable. I’m not on board with anything more than a bottle of wine and a card for 5 years. (Do they really even make cards for 5 years?)

      • Sydney Bristow

        I totally agree! I chipped in with my siblings to get a gift for my grandparent’s 50th anniversary but never for anyone else’s __ year anniversary. That seems crazy.

        If the dinner party is at their home (or someone else’s) I’d bring a bottle of wine for the hosts. Anything beyond that seems really odd to me.

        • Aggie

          This. Host/hostess gift would all I would consider….but I typically bring a bottle of wine to dinner parties regardless of the occasion.

    • January

      Yeah, I’m over here on the fainting couch. I have never considered buying an anniversary gift for anyone other than my parents, and even then, only when they’ve had major anniversaries. Bottle of wine and a card sounds perfectly appropriate, since you’ll be attending a party anyway.

      • L

        Is there room for one more? I’ll say this, I’ve thought about sending one of my dearest friends a gift for their anniversary, but partially because I a) love them and b) they are having a rough time right now due to circumstances out of their control.

        The only kind of “anniversary” party that’s acceptable before a big one (25, 50, etc) is one in which you maybe invite the people you’re closest with and take them to dinner (on the couple) as a thank you? I can’t even.

        • Aggie

          I’m with you, that sounds like more of an “I’m thinking of you” gift.

          My mother loves dinner parties and uses anniversaries as her excuse to throw at least one every month – whether for a relative, friend or her own anniversary. Other than unexpected host gifts, presents are not ever expected.

    • LH

      It’s crazy to throw yourself a party for your 5th anniversary. I’ve only heard of 50th anniversary parties and maaaybe 25th. Is he paying for everything like at a wedding? If so I guess I might get a small gift. If everyone pays there own way, no way I’d get a gift.

    • Anne Shirley

      Anniversary gifts are strongly recommended to: your partner, if it is your anniversary, and to anyone whose 50th you are celebrating. Everyone else is optional. I’d bring a bottle of wine or chocolate as a hostess gift and write a card.

    • Anonymama

      I would only think to get an anniversary gift for a parent or grandparent (or of course your own significant other), and then probably only if it was a “big” anniversary, like 20 years, or 40 years. I’ve never even heard of anyone having a party for a 5 year anniversary, except maybe Seal and Heidi Klum. I’d get a card.

    • Em

      Well, as you mention Emily Post, she said in 1922 of wedding anniversary parties:

      ” 1 year, paper
      5 years, wood
      10 years, tin
      15 years, crystal
      20 years, china
      25 years, silver
      50 years, gold
      75 years, diamond

      Wedding anniversaries are celebrated in any number of ways. The “party” may be one of two alone or it may be a dance. Most often it is a dinner, and occasionally, an afternoon tea.

      In Germany a silver wedding is a very important event and a great celebration is made of it, but in America it is not very good form to ask any but intimate friends and family to an anniversary party—especially as those bidden are supposed to send presents. These need not, however, be of value; in fact the paper, wooden and tin wedding presents are seldom anything but jokes. Crystal is the earliest that is likely to be taken seriously by the gift-bearers. Silver is always serious, and the golden wedding a quite sacred event.”

      I feel like “wood” gives you a lot to work with on the joke gifts.

    • (Former) Clueless Summer

      This is a thing in my family… For every anniversary, not just the big milestones. We are not a close family either. But you get the married couples (my parents and sisters) a card and present every anniversary. I think it’s insane. I don’t want to celebrate your anniversary not will I expect them to start celebrating mine after my wedding. So I’ve took a stand on it and just don’t. If there was a party, I would do a gift though… But that’s usually just like 25/30/50 type anniversaries… And then that seems like a legit reason to celebrate.

    • anonyomous

      Personally…and this is just my little deal, we do give anniversary gifts. We give anniversary gifts to couples every year if either me or my fiancee was actually involved in the wedding (groomsmen, bridesmaid etc). So these are our closest couple friends, and we loved being part of their day and we want to celebrate them as a couple and their marriage. HOWEVER these are people that we would typically be giving birthday gifts to every year and we eliminate those two gifts, and give a couple gift at the time of their anniversary. I also like this because instead of having to think up a birthday gift for them twice a year I can follow the “anniversary” rules for paper, leather, metal etc and find something that is themed. It gives me more direction in my gift giving and its only one gift a year.

  20. Late start date

    3L here, just got my start date for my firm–mid-January 2015. Which means I have no income except a small advance from now until late January. No money saved, no family in the area. Just thinking about applying for a temp job (and an NY apt) after completing law school/taking the bar is so depressing and daunting right now. Any advice?

    • Former Partner, Now In-House

      Years ago (the 1980s and early 1990s), Barnard used to let students and recent graduates of other schools stay in the Barnard dorms over the summer. I worked in a small company at the time, and we had summer workers from colleges around the country whom we paid a very, very (maybe you could use it to buy lunch) small salary. Lots of them stayed at Barnard and paid maybe a couple hundred dollars for the three months.

      I don’t know if Barnard still does it, and I don’t know if any other school did it or still does it, but it is an idea for cheap housing.

      • Former Partner, Now In-House

        Another thought: your alma mater’s or maters’ (as the case may be) alumni office(s) may list alumni who live in NYC and are looking for someone to house-sit or stay in a guest room?

    • AIMS

      That really sucks but considering how many people can’t find jobs at all I think you have to still count your blessings. Not sure exactly what you mean by small advance, or whether you are currently in NY, but I would either get a job for the time being, or sublet my apartment (assuming you are already in NY and will be staying in NY for work starting January) and either go back home to save money or see about finding a job where you could go abroad. Maybe one of those teach English in Vietnam gigs or something. You won’t have this much time off anytime soon so try to make the best of it.

    • Edna

      Since you know you have a law job, its probably not necessary to apply for a law job/obtain legal experience during this time. Have you thought about jobs like nannying? I found a nannying job for school-age kids after hours and it helped me get by during the time between law school and law job. I found the job through a website like sittercity or care dot com. The application is not at all like an application for a law job. Also, consider looking into seasonal employment at retailers, etc.

      Finally, although the idea of taking on more debt is probably not that appealing, you are probably eligible to take out a Bar exam loan to help cover expenses while you study for the Bar. You can choose to get the money in one lump sum or you can spread out the disbursements.

    • Sydney Bristow

      I’m in NYC and temp staffing agencies loved me when I was looking for work between passing the bar and being sworn in. I regularly received calls and ended up with a long-term gig at a really cool company. It wasn’t as bad as I expected.

      Congrats on the new job though!

      • Deep End

        I did this too! I ended up as a receptionist at a law firm and was literally getting coffee and bagels for the same year grad associate who had just started at that law firm. But I didn’t care bc I had a job and got to stay in NY.

        My situation was different bc had come back from a clerkship abroad and did not have a job. I temped for 8 months, the majority of it at an advertising agency. I started off filling in for their receptionist for one week. On the last day I proofread some docs for one of the VPs and they offered me a job. It was really fascinating to work in the ad world for a while and now I’m really happy I got that experience! If you need the money don’t be afraid to sign up with non-legal temp agencies.

    • Emmabean

      Superlong and awesome bar trip? Go see some stuff! I started working two weeks after I finished the bar exam and would have LOVED this opportunity. You’ll make lots of money once you start working!

      • Anonattorney

        I would do this. The money situation is stressful, but when are you going to have this chunk of time again?

    • DCR

      I had the same situation. Graduated in 2010, didn’t start until January 2011, and my firm provided a salary advance. Since I was moving cities after law school, I stayed in my law school apartment until I took the bar, moved out of my apartment, and took a super long bar trip. I went to Africa and Asia for 4 months, spent 1 month with my family, and moved to my new city. Given that I traveled to cheaper places, my expenses were not any more then if I had stayed in my super-expensive law school city. I figured I would never have a chance to take a trip like this again (which I have not during my years at big law) and loved the trip. Although I went in to a little bit of extra debt for the trip, it was more then worth it. And more than 1 friend has wished they had the opportunity.

    • Anon

      Ask your admissions office if they might consider hiring you as a seasonal recruiter. Many would love to put employed new grads on the road. The travel recruiting season winds down in November/December, and you’d get to travel and hang out with a lot of fun people who are also “road warriors.”

  21. Flying solo

    A tiny, tiny fit of venting: I get that weddings are expensive. I do. And I’m also a big proponent of the idea that it’s your day, and you get to invite (or not invite) whoever you want.

    All of that said, I completely HATE getting invited to weddings (especially weddings that I really can’t get out of attending) without a plus-one. HATE. Grrr.

    • L

      Don’t go? Unless you’re a direct relative of one of the people getting married, I don’t see why it’s worth the aggravation?

    • LH

      There are really heated opinions on both sides of this. But I didn’t have stranger plus ones at my wedding (I invited every guest’s SO, whether or not they were engaged/married) and it didn’t have much to do with cost. I find it sort of rude that people think they need a plus one – it sort of suggests that they’re going to really bored at the wedding and they need to bring a stranger to talk to. Everybody at my wedding knew multiple other people at the wedding and had plenty of people to talk to, hang out with, and dance with. There was a good mix of couples and singles, so none of the single people felt like the odd man out. I can see how if you’re the only single person at the wedding or you don’t know anyone at the wedding except the bride and groom and their immediate family, that you could feel quite lonely or left-out without a date. But otherwise, why do you need to bring a stranger to enjoy seeing and celebrating with your friends?

      My feelings about plus ones were confirmed by the responses to my invites. Even though I did not formally give people a plus one, if anyone had contacted me at the RSVP date and said “Hey I just started dating someone, can s/he come?” I would have said sure. But the only person who asked to bring a plus one was a woman who asked to bring a female friend (she’s not gay) that I sort of know and don’t especially like. Why should I shell out hundreds of bucks on someone who didn’t make my invite list so my friend who knows 20 people at the wedding can have her BFF there? It makes no sense.

      • anon

        She said she has to go for professional reasons, so it’s probably not a bunch of her friends.

        And re: “I find it sort of rude that people think they need a plus one – it sort of suggests that they’re going to really bored at the wedding and they need to bring a stranger to talk to”

        Although I’m sure your wedding was endlessly scintillating, at some weddings, people are not constantly enraptured in basking in the couple’s glow. Most weddings are pretty boring.

        • LH

          Thanks for the snarky reply but I don’t think anyone was basking in my glow. Every person there had at least 5 friends or family members that weren’t me or my husband and for most of our friends, who are scattered across the country, it was a great chance to catch up with each other, as was every other wedding in our various friend groups. If you think a wedding is going to be boring, you shouldn’t go – send a nice gift and be done with it.

          • anon

            You’re welcome. Like I said, the OP said its for work, not a bunch of her friends, so it might not be as awesome for her as your very special wedding (read: just like every other wedding) was.

          • AIMS

            “There are really heated opinions on both sides” – you said it!

            For my two cents, I don’t think it’s rude to want a plus 1, even if your wedding may have been an exception where everyone knew each other well. I’ve been to more than one wedding where that was not the case at all, and quite frankly it was miserable. At one of them, I was seated at an entire table full of couples who all knew each other and it was a an odd dynamic to say the least (and for some reason, one of the other ladies decided that I was hitting on her fiancé because I tried to be social and ask him about how he knew the bride & groom). At another wedding for a close friend, I basically spent a very awkward evening talking to a small handful of other people who I had nothing in common with except we were all invited without dates (one former coworker of the bride and the MOB’s business partner and their office manager) – I saw the bride herself for maybe 10 minutes and while I knew some of her relatives they were all busy with each other and talked to me for a total of maybe 4 minutes (which is totally fine but just pointing out the whole “well, you know the uncle and you know the cousin” only takes you so far sometimes). It would have been nice to have a date!

          • LH

            Where did I say my wedding was a special snowflake? I said every single wedding in our friend group was a fun chance for everyone to catch up. And I wouldn’t go to a wedding where I didn’t want to socialize with the other guests, period. Even if they were my coworkers.

          • gottaagreewanon

            LH – I really hope your life continues such that you never have to go to an event where you don’t know anyone because it’s the right thing to do, and that you’re always married so you have a built-in significant other that will automatically be invited to do things with you, because when you don’t, it’s actually not that fun to be the person without a date. It’s especially not fun when dancing starts, even if you know other people there. I am totally in anon’s camp here.

          • LH

            Ok, perhaps saying I wouldn’t go to a wedding where I don’t know anyone was an overstatement. But if I were dreading a wedding that much, I wouldn’t go, especially if it was just a coworker’s daughter. It’s not like its her sister’s wedding or something. I do agree with other comments that in this situation a plus one would have been nice, but since she didn’t get one and won’t enjoy the wedding I don’t understand why she can’t just not go.

          • Joanna Toews

            FWIW, Miss Manners agrees 100% with LH. (Source: Miss Manners Guide to a Perfectly Dignified Wedding.)

            Are you happy for the couple, and do you want to be present at their wedding? Then go. Does your distaste for being bored/weddings in general trump everything else? Don’t go. Easy.

        • Wildkitten

          Every wedding I’ve ever gone to has been boring at times. Even the fun ones.

          • Maggie

            Agreed esp when you are seated at table not where your friends are and have to chit chat w strangers for 2.5 hr and are not by nature an extrovert. Eg as happened to me at a wedding last weekend.

          • Sadie

            I was solo at my best friend’s wedding. I was, of course, in the wedding party. She would have let me bring a +1, I am sure, I just didn’t HAVE one. I was, literally, the ONLY single person at the wedding. I danced once, with the bride.

            The photographer did get one of the best pictures of me ever on the sidelines while everyone is dancing. I look sad and pensive but really pretty, lololol.

            I knew many people there, but since they were all dancing, canoodling with THEIR SO … didn’t really help.

      • Anonymous

        Even the most fun (in relative terms) wedding I’ve been to in years had quite a few awkward moments where I was staring at my plate during the meal because the couples next to me were talking to each other (and the people on each side of me had their bodies turned away from me and toward their partners so it was difficult to even join in the conversation). I think we’ve had comment threads on here where people complained about assigned table seating where they were not next to their spouse because they wanted to talk to their spouse and no one else except for brief pleasantries, so it should come as no surprise that not having a date leaves the singles with few people to talk to. And other couples just seem much more open to interacting with pairs than with solo guests, so even when they break huddle, they are more likely to speak to the couple on the other side than single me.

        It’s also kind of weird to be that person who floats around the dance floor Night at the Roxbury style and just starts dancing on two people who were dancing with each other (I don’t particularly understand pairs dancing for fast songs, but it is overwhelmingly how people dance the receoptions I’ve been to).

        As a single not-by-choice person who already has an extremely hard time at weddings, feeling like a third wheel to every other couple in attendance just makes it even worse. But thank you for focusing only on who YOU want there and not allowing them to bring a good friend who would make it more enjoyable.

        (And as a side note, when I’ve been “allowed” to bring a friend, he always ended up being someone my other friends, including the happy couple, loved and had a great time spending the night with)

        • Anonymous

          Oh, and for the record, I knew and was very good college friends with every single male at my table. I also knew several of their SOs. They still stick to their partners and other couples like glue at weddings.

          • roses

            That sounds like a Your Friends Are Inconsiderate problem, not an I Need A Plus One problem. I’ve gone to many weddings with my husband and our group of friends, and we always make conversation with and dance with the singles. That’s just being a good friend!

        • LH

          Well in this particular case, I didn’t like the proposed plus one – I said that. So no, I don’t think its unreasonably to not want to have to pay $200 for someone I don’t like to be at my wedding. And I said I do see how it would be not fun to be the only single person at an all-couple wedding. I guess we were lucky in that within each friend group it was either all couples or at least half singles (for the record, the person who proposed bringing a friend was at a table with 7 other singles who were her good college friends). I feel sorry for you that you were miserable even at the best wedding you attended. I love weddings & though many of the ones I’ve been to haven’t been my personal style, I’ve had fun at all of them.

        • Flying solo

          This. All of this. Thank you for stating so all of my frustrations so articulately.

          A couple of details I probably should have added to clarify the situation — the only people I will know there will be my coworkers, who are overwhelmingly (a) male, and (b) married. I’m not really friends with the couple at all — I work with the father of the bride. So it’s not really a situation where asking to bring a plus-one, or just staying home and watching Downton Abbey instead, is really an option. So I expect a rather awkward night of plate-staring.

          • new york associate

            You know, this just sounds like not enough fun to go. If you’re envisioning an awkward night of plate-staring, I’d just politely decline, send a lovely gift, and go do something awesome for yourself that night! If people ask why you can’t attend – or if you get grief about it – just say “I wish I could go, but I have a conflict that night.” End of story! Life is too short to go to social events that you dread (and let’s be honest: weddings are too expensive for brides to bemoan every distant acquaintance that can’t attend.)

          • Meg Murry

            I agree that this is not worth it. Just RSVP no, tell coworker you have to go out of town that weekend (and then make sure to drive to another town over so it isn’t a lie) and move on. I don’t think your coworker is really going to pay more than 5 minutes of attention to you at the reception, so why bother?

          • Senior Attorney

            I guarantee your coworker/boss/father of the bride isn’t going to care whether you come or not. I vote “skip it.”

          • zora

            i love you guise, but she said earlier that she was venting, and that she has to go.. so I personally am inclined to trust that she knows what she’s talking about and just send her some sympathy for her completely valid feelings of frustration and annoyance. ;o)

    • WestCoast Lawyer

      We didn’t invite +1s to ours (significant others who we knew well enough to include their full name on the invitation sure, but no just grab a random person off the street and bring them along for the fun). Our thinking was that we weren’t inviting anyone who wouldn’t know at least a few other people at the wedding, so it’s not like they should have trouble finding someone to talk to/hang out with. In addition to the extra cost, we didn’t want anyone at the wedding who we didn’t know well (which also prevented our parents from extending random invites to friends we’d never met). I guess we wanted to keep it an intimate affair with people we really cared about, maybe try to look at it from that perspective?

      • gottaagreewanon

        I really don’t understand the logic that the bride and groom don’t want “people they don’t know there”. Unless you’re marrying someone where you know your spouses entire family well, and all of your own relatives well, I don’t see how you already aren’t having a “wedding with strangers” to some extent. Beyond that, I’ve yet to go to a wedding where the couple spends more than a few minutes with any guest such that they even know who’s there. For me, it’s far more important to be a gracious host and to ensure that my guests have a good time. That ususally means permitting the guests to bring a “plus one” so they are certain they have someone there to talk to, dance with, eat with, etc.

    • Sydney Bristow

      I know what you mean. I’m shy at events where I don’t know many people and it is so much easier to be there with someone.

      We’ve decided to let everyone have a plus one for our wedding, which luckily only puts us a little over 100 people. It is likely going to add more expense than if like, but it’s one of the things we’ve decided to prioritize. Everyone is going to have different priorities though.

      • Sydney Bristow

        I should add that the people who are receiving plus ones for anyone as opposed to an invite addressed to both guests make up a very small percentage. Most of our guests are in serious relationships and we know both people well. That probably makes it easier for us.

      • gottaagreewanon

        That is very cool. I will add that as someone who’s often received very appreciated “plus one” invitations, as much as I’ve preferred to have someone go with me, I’ve never exercised the option where I do know people there. I’ve reserved it for those situations where I know I only know the bride or groom, and perhaps a relative or two but no one else. I think you’ll get a lot more “just me’s” than you think if you extend the invite & it just really sits well with people to get a “plus one”.

        • DCR

          +1 ! It’s nice to have the option, but I generally don’t bring a plus one. If I have friends at the wedding, I appreciate the chance to catch up and spend time with them. Since I don’t want to worry about ensuring that someone who will know not a single person has a good time, I just go alone. Have brought a plus one to a few weddings were I only know one or two other people going.

          Having said that, even when I have a lot of friends at a wedding, it can be really hard to attend alone. My friends were all in couples and would occasionally be caught up with their SO. So, I was stick spending some time staring at my plate, only one not dancing to a slow sing, ect. But I also just don’t find weddings receptions to be my cup of tea.

          • Batgirl

            Same here. As someone who’s been single for many weddings, I have to say, that it feels like you’re stuck at the proverbial kiddies’ table when you aren’t extended a plus one. The fact of the matter is, the bride and groom, by definition, will get a “plus one” for every wedding they go to from here on out, whether we like their husband/wife or not. I think it’s the same for “stranger plus ones” (which I think is kind of insulting bc it’s not a stranger to the attendee). For me, a lot of it has to do with the fact that I’m going to be flying to your wedding, paying for a hotel, and spending a lot to be there (usually much more than the $200/plate rate that some mentioned here) and it’s significantly more enjoyable to bring someone along for all of those other parts.

            I’ve also been at many weddings where despite having plenty of friends there, the second the dancing starts, you are that third wheel trying to dance up on couples. Depends on the wedding, depends on whether there are lots of single people there, but I think it’s a nice courtesy to let your guests decide whether or not they should invite a plus one. There probably aren’t that many people that would get that option and use it to make it worth the slight, in my mind. For me, it’s about treating your single friends like the adults that they are. Because, also, who likes everyone’s significant others? Even if you know them by name, you may not want to invite them either.

            I see both sides, but as someone who had break ups right before weddings, I can tell you that there’s often nothing lonelier than going stag to a wedding.

    • Emmabean

      I feel like in your situation (work with father of the bride) it would only be fair to also have a plus-one. But there’s no rule that says if you give one person a plus one, everyone gets one. I think it’s rude that you weren’t given one, but I don’t agree that everyone should get one by default. I can see not giving one to someone who knew many people at the wedding and wasn’t dating anyone.

      So, no need to fight, guys!

    • superlatereply

      I think, for the most part, people here have brought up many of your concerns, and have made thoughtful replies. I’ve been on pretty much every point of this spectrum. I’ve been the single bridesmaid when many of the groomsmen were also single, the single bridesmaid when everyone else was married (twice! and once my plus one was ridiculously late, missed the whole wedding, and only showed up very late to the reception, etc!) and attended weddings single and with a date/SO. I completely understand the dread of going to a wedding alone. The one I most dreaded was for a childhood friend that I hadn’t been very close with since high school. When I showed up the women running the guest book asked me “how I even knew the bride” (yes, seriously). I thought I was off to a really bad start. But then, some of the other high school friends and many others that didn’t know me at all “took pity” on me. I had a great time, caught up with people I hadn’t seen in at least 5 years, and met some really nice new people. In the end, I think that was testament to the great crowd of people the bride and groom knew, and that many people could come have a conversation with other guests they didn’t know. I am not the best in social situations, I tend to be a listener rather than an interviewer, and I have an intense (read, scary) life, so that can be off-putting at casual gatherings. I also, now that I’m older, have more confidence and feel better about being that person in the room that talks to a lot of people and especially the people that seem down/lonely/without their SO That said, although you feel you don’t want to, there are things you can do to make this go better. Step 1) give yourself a little pep-talk to get ready for small talk and socializing. Remember the basics, what do you do, where do you live, what do you like to do? I have the most success with travel topics as I have traveled quite a bit, but there’s always books and movies and music. Step 2) Fake it til you make it. I have the unfortunate perma-frown unless I consciously work on keeping a slight smile. People will be more apt to approach you if you look approachable (I’m still shy so this is a problem for me) Step 3) this too shall pass. At the end of the day, maybe it’s not the best most-fun event you’ve ever been to. But you will have done your duty and you can take some satisfaction in that.

  22. Talkative Coworkers

    I work with a bunch of attorneys, but in a corporate open-air setting. And, my co-workers – talk. all. the.time. They talk over each other, talk at the same time – and it’s becoming so annoying. I want to join in conversation, but I hate getting cut off or talked over and am generally feeling like maybe it’s better to just be quiet. Does anyone have advise or insight into how to deal with people like this? Thanks in advance!!

    • Anon

      Fight fire with fire. They clearly don’t care, so if you get interrupted or talked over, try continuing what you were saying at a higher volume.

  23. Samantha

    The small joys of life. My lovely friend gave me a Sephora giftcard (she knows me so well!) for my birthday.
    I went to Sephora during my lunch break today and got a Pantone+Sephora Purple Orchid makeover. Basically just a bright lipstick and a touch of blush. And got my Sephora Insider birthday gift, plus a Bite lipstick in a shade close to the “color of the year” – not the neutral that I would typically get.

    Also, going to the Veronica Mars movie tonight!! Yay, so excited.
    It’s been a tough couple of months with sickness and work and I feel good today.

  24. SP

    I somehow agreed to attend a St Patty’s Day breakfast at 7 am this coming Monday. It’s an annual thing with lots of local politicians and such. I desperately do not want to go but can’t think of a way out short of faking the plague. Not sure what my question is but just wanted to complain in hopes someone had another idea. I am not a morning person and I am not going to know a soul there. FML.

  25. Bonnie

    PSA for those who want to upgrade their Verizon phones. I was debating between the iPhone 5C any 5S and while I was trying to negotiate a better deal learned of an unadvertised promotion. For buying an $89 case, I got the 5C free. I’m not sure if it was just for my store but it’s worth asking.

    • Sadie

      Always check places you wouldn’t think of, too. I got my 5c on sale at Target for $49.99, my carrier (At&t) just added the line, I bought the phone and activated it at Target.

  26. Anon

    Okay, here’s a weird one — my husband went to the pharmacy to get a prescription filled and they told him there were mistakes in his insurance records: wrong birthday and he’s in there as my wife (!). They also told him they had a record of his negative pregnancy test (!!!).

    So why would the pharmacy have anybody’s pregnancy test results? The only thing I can think of is that maybe there was some mistaken record of his being prescribed a drug that would have harmful fetal effects, and they require a pregnancy test before they’ll fill it?

      • Wildkitten

        I have a colorful statement bag and I really like it and it’s totally work appropriate (like that bag). It’s a great addition to an otherwise subdued outfit, or to carry while wearing a black coat.

        The only problem I have with my colorful bag is when I am wearing a contrasting color that doesn’t seem to go with it – then it looks haphazard instead of purposeful. If I was buying an “investment” bag – and one for travel – I’d want it to go with everything. Maybe purple does that with your wardrobe, maybe not.

  27. Target Merona Shoes

    Has anyone purchased Merona shoes at Target? I am considering the Merona Penelope canvas espadrilles pump (to wear with ankle jeans) and wonder:

    1. Should I size up or down?
    2. Whether they show toe cleavage.

    Any observations welcome. Link to follow.

  28. Anon

    I need work dresses like woah. But I went to all of the typical places yesterday – J.Crew, Banana, Ann Taylor (their spring collection is awesome this year – basically a Kate Spade copy), and every single dress I tried on, all of which were intended to be part of their work collections, hit like 2 inches above my knee. I’m only 5’8, so not even that tall. But even the Banana size Tall dresses were too short. Do any of you have recommendations? I’m one of the youngest lawyers in a semi-conservative biglaw law firm, and I don’t want to look like a college student playing intern.

    • Wildkitten

      Banana dresses are *really* short. Did you try tall at JCrew or tall at Ann Taylor? They might only have talls online, or in some flagship stores, they’re not in every mall store. My favorite “long” thing is the jcrew number 2 pencil skirt, from jcrew not factory. That’s a reliably long skirt, though I realize it is not a dress.

    • Bonnie

      I was thinking about this earlier today when I found an otherwise great work dress at Banana that was just way too short. I don’t understand why work dresses are now being made to be several inches above the knee. And I felt frustrated for the tall gals out there. If these dresses are to short for me at 5’4″ I don’t know what taller gals do

  29. Anon

    I need work dresses like woah. But I went to all of the typical places yesterday – J.Crew, Banana, Ann Taylor (their spring collection is awesome this year – basically a Kate Spade copy), and every single dress I tried on, all of which were intended to be part of their work collections, hit like 2 inches above my knee. I’m only 5’8, so not even that tall. But even the Banana size Tall dresses were too short. Do any of you have recommendations? I’m one of the youngest lawyers in a semi-conservative biglaw law firm, and I don’t want to look like a college student playing intern.

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