ByKat Hours Updated
Comments 133 Comments

Weekend Open Thread

TOMS Desert WedgeI've been admiring these Toms boots for a while now, and while I've heard great things about the comfort, I could never pull the trigger. This season I've noticed that they changed the label in the back (it used to be a lot more obvious, yes?) and I'm really tempted by this navy corduroy version with the textures going every which way. For $89, it may be time. TOMS's site has a bunch of other fun colors (gunmetal metallic), and Nordstrom has them in black herringbone, gray suede, and some lovely shearling lined ones. The pictured corduroy boot is $89 at Zappos, and available in sizes 5-12. TOMS Desert Wedge (L-4)

Sales of note for 12.5

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

133 Comments

  1. Happy weekend–does anyone have a favorite HOT appetizer? Looking for something yummy to serve — weekend forecast is for chilly and rainy.

    1. Baked brie in puff pastry! You can literally just wrap a wheel of brie in store-bought puff pastry and stick it in the oven. It’s amazing. You can make it fancier by making the puff pastry dough from scratch or adding things like nuts or fruit, but just the simple, easy version is very good.

    2. I like baked brie (recently, I’ve been doing apples and honey mustard), pigs in a blanket, or flatbread pizza with ham, gruyere and carmelized onions…

    5. I like to throw cubed fontina cheese in an oven-safe shallow dish with herbs and a little olive oil. Bubbly hot cheese dip – serve with baguette slices you toast in the oven at the same time. I think it may have been an Ina Garten recipe I based this off of.

      1. The cheese gets baked. Don’t know how I forgot to mention that…

    6. I recently went to a gathering where the hostess served a sausage-sage-mushroom mixture in mushroom caps. It was really good. She said it was super easy to assemble ahead of time and then just stick in the oven to warm up.

    9. Queso!!! Rotelle and Velveeta in a slow cooker. (you aren’t from Texas, I can tell by the forecast).

  2. My sister’s “wedding” is on Monday. Yay. I put wedding in quotation marks because apparently they got legally married in AZ a week or two ago? Oh, the wedding is dry. Not that I would have been able to drink much since I have to drive two hours home Monday night so I can get to work on Tuesday. My mom just sent me the address of the venue today. This whole thing is kind of hysterical. At least I found an okay bridesmaid dress? I am bringing a black one because the red and green dresses are going to look terrible with the lime and maroon color scheme and I want her to have another option if she ends up hating the b-maid dresses. Sigh.

    But in fun news, for those of you who remember me posting a while back about the flirty emails with my college professor. . . that has continued and I am planning to go visit next month. It’s a combined visit – I will travel down to see a good college friend of mine for two days, then jet over to Charleston for two days to spend some time with him. He volunteered to clear his schedule for the weekend to show me around. He also offered to pay for my hotel room, which makes me feel a little like Pretty Woman, but hey, I’ll take it! I am excited and nervous, but I think it will be fun no matter what. What do I have to lose?!

      1. Right? I would not say my sister is known for her style or fashion sense. She doesn’t care about that sort of stuff, which is great – you do you! I really am nervous about her hating the pictures of us with our kelly green and red bridesmaid dresses against that color scheme though. I have a headache thinking about it. So I will bring the alternate dress just in case.

        1. You’re a good sister, CountC! I wore a teal satin bow-on-the-butt boatneck poofy monstrosity for my brother’s wedding. I don’t think I have a single picture. Ugh. I was the only bridesmaid with a chest and the dress was decidedly unflattering. Sister solidarity!

      3. My sister is also getting married with the red/green combo, also not around the winter holidays. She likes both colors. :/

    2. I get that there is probably some underlying background that you haven’t explained here, but just because your sister legally got married a few weeks ago doesn’t mean this isn’t her wedding. I do agree that the actual details of said wedding sound somewhat obnoxious.

      But really, isn’t a couple technically married once they have their marriage license?* Therefore, everyone is legally married before the wedding.

      *I say this because I’m not positive on the actual technicalities, but your “proof” that you’re married is your marriage license, which is why I think this is the case.

      1. No you aren’t married until your officiant (and usually the couple and witnesses but not in every state) signs your wedding license, which usually happens the day of your wedding after or during the ceremony. There is a few things required that varies state to state, but an officiant almost always has to be involved, and vows need to be said (even if its just Yes I intend to be married today). Technically the wedding ceremony is when you get married and the reception is the party. By doing it this way you have a non legally binding ceremony which some people find weird. Regardless, I think OPs point is its been a bit of mess, but I think its great that she is doing this for her sister.

      2. Yes. Yes it does. She got married weeks ago. That was her wedding. Getting the license does not make you married.

      3. They had a ceremony with an officiant where they were legally married in the state where they live. I don’t know how else to explain that. To me, and you can disagree, that was their wedding. They are already married. They refer to each ither as husband and wife. What they are doing today is an event with a reception, but I won’t call it a wedding because ti me, it is not. YMMV

      4. I still see this as such an American POV. I was married legally in another country, where you sign your marriage certificate in front of a clerk and *BAM* you are married. Did it on our lunch hour. There is no other way to get married in that country, and so–yes–most people are legally married by the time they have their wedding.

        This is largely true of many countries around the world. The legal act and the wedding are separate. And while committing to each other in a legal sense is The Big Deal, the wedding has value. There is value in saying vows in front of family and friends and inviting them to bear witness to those vows throughout the ups and downs of your lives together. Legally necessary? No. Important in its own way? Yes. If someone is hung up on whether it’s the wedding or the recreation of one, I fear they are missing the point.

  3. I love these wedge booties that I bought a second pair at the NAS. They’re really lightweight and comfortable. I am happy that they made the tag a little more subtle.

    1. These look like the perfect commuting shoes because they’d be so cute and comfy. I may have to see if I can find myself a pair…

    3. I like these. What style of pants /skirts do you wear them with?

      1. I wore my tan ones last year with skinny jeans rolled up slightly. I plan to wear the new black ones with jeans but also with more casual skirts and dresses with black tights.

    4. PSA: if you belong to Costco, they have these in 2 colors and you can order online. Only $50!

  4. Thanks for the advice yesterday on what questions to ask in my interview (where the predecessor left under questionable circumstances). They were well-received and I got a good feel for both what they’re looking for now and what the problems may have been.

    1. Thanks for letting me know! I’m glad it helped and I wish you good luck in the job search process.

  5. Has anyone purchased anything from this brand? Specifically, a sweater? If so, can you comment as to quality? Bluefly has a number of what appear to be super-cute sweaters from this label but they’re a little on the pricey side. Wanted to see if it’s worth the hassel/potential return shipping fee before placing an order. Thanks!

    1. I got great advice on here a while ago which was to look up photos of last year’s event and see what people were wearing!

      I think that dress is lovely and would suit that dress code perfectly; however, depending on where you are, people may dress differently. In my current city (Northeast), people would wear dresses like this or a really swanky cocktail dress to an event with this descriptor; however, in previous city, everyone wore what I could classify as business casual/sundresses.

      I’d pair that dress with a pair of black patent pumps, dangly earrings and a simple chignon and rock out.

      1. Maybe it was a summer thing, but this summer, all of the black tie optional events that I attended (maybe 3?) were 80% short dresses, 20% long. I usually went with long and felt out of place.

    2. Probably depends a lot where you live. In the northeast corridor, I think the coral color would stand out (and possibly read as a little young). Which is fine, if that’s what you’re going for. But you might find the crowd to tend more towards darker or more neutral colors. The slit seems fine to me.

      1. I don’t know why I didn’t think of this before, but if it is a bit too high I’m sure I can get the slit closed up a bit at the tailor if I really love it.

    3. Yay! Open thread’s! I LOVE open thread’s and this dress the OP like’s! I think it is a littel riskee, especially the slit on the dress, b/c the dress I wore to my law school formal also had a slit and 3 guys stuck there hand’s almost ALL the way up my leg, and I do NOT think it is apropriate for men who are releative stranger’s to put there hands there! FOOEY!

      I am about to leave for the weekend, so I want to wish the hive a VERY happy weekend! YAY!

    4. The slit looks really high to me. But the one in black looks reasonable. I think you’d need to try it on and see where the slit goes on your body.

      1. The reviews don’t mention the slit but they do say the coral was almost neon.

        1. Yah I was going to get the navy or black. You are right I need to try it on and see where it falls. Also apparently it is “black tie recommended” and I heard that its a 50/50 split on long versus short dresses.

    5. I wore this dress in silver as my wedding dress. It is super comfortable and easy to wear. The slit is fairly high but it’s not cut all the way up to the hip or anything and I don’t think it’s that noticeable unless you are somewhere windy.

  7. My office is freezing. I am from the northeast and not above thinking of a turtleneck as a business-casual baselayer for work. But I want to do better. I was thinking of the Tory Burch Lidia polo as a layering piece (particulary the ruffle collar), but they are so expensive. I know that LE had something similar two winters ago, but does anyone else know of something just to help keep warm?

    I can be a daring-neckline person when it’s warm, but find that so much heat seems to escape if I don’t totally cover.

    I already own a ton of scarves, but want some options for staying warm without them (and OMG it is still September — way too early in the year to be writing this!).

    2. Last year I discovered the Uniqlo heat tech line and lived in it. The long-sleeve t-shirts are nice enough to wear under a suit on a more casual day and I loved the leggings.

      1. These are great and so inexpensive. They are thin enough to wear under blouses and sweaters for winter too.

    3. La Redoute do lovely thin layering Ts and ‘undersweaters’. Personally I’d go to Uniqlo and get a few HeatTech camis.

  8. I had a photo printed on canvas that got damaged when I moved. Some of the color has rubbed off leaving little white spots. Any suggestions for how to fix? I called my local framing shop and they said they don’t do restoration work.

    1. I might try a DIY job with a box of pastels from the art supply store. Seems like you could rub it off if it didn’t look right.

  9. Zappos VIP is the best. And the worst, depending on whether you are trying to spend money or not.

    I currently have $900 in shoes in my office (over the course of 3 different orders, all of which arrived the day after I placed the order) so I could compare different colors and sizes. Tried them on over lunches/end of day, walked around on the carpet, and now all but one pair is going back to the UPS store.

    It’s like having DSW in my office, only more convenient. Oh gosh, this is dangerous. Especially if I start buying clothes there too.

    I’m heading to the UPS store to send them all back but 1 pair, and I’m waffling if I want to keep those or keep trying more sizes/styles in search of that Goldilocks shoe.

    I am amazed though, I am ordering shoes that are supposed to have a pretty good reputation as high quality – and the sizing difference between slight tweaks in style is crazy huge. Do people really order one pair of shoes online and find just the right fit right away? I feel like I have to try on 12 variations (size 7 wide. Size 7.5. 7.5 wide, size 8. Size 7.5 wide in a softer leather. Size 7.5 in a lower heel. etc etc etc) to find one shoe that is a pretty good fit – and I’m trying to pair a bit more money for shoes that are supposed to hold up.

    1. I think this depends on your foot. I’m 35 years old, and every pair of shoes I’ve purchased since the age of 12 has been US 9 / Euro 40 medium width, without exception. So, for me, yes – I frequently send shoes back if I don’t like them in person, but I’ve never had to send them back because they don’t fit properly.

      1. I pretty much always purchase a UK 7.5, but even if all my shoes were that size it wouldn’t follow that I never had to send a pair back due to fit. I have very narrow heels and low profile instep so shoe shopping is horrendous.

    2. Zappos VIP is outstanding. I also buy a lot of clothes through it.

      I am very reliably a size 11 shoe. The only reason I’ll send something back is if it’s uncomfortable or doesn’t fit my high arches. Otherwise, size 11s always fit me.

    3. For what it’s worth, I’m a 10.5. My office is like dsw as well, as a 10, 10.5, or 11 may be needed. once even tennis shoes in a 12. Now that orthotics got added, sometimes narrow sometimes wide. Heel height makes a big difference. I have weak arches. Flatter the shoe, the more likely I may need an 11. VIP for life!!!!

  10. My husband is a very sweet gentleman with some Amish tendencies. He still keeps time by hand and keeps a paper calendar. This works for him, so I roll with it. What are your favorite attorney paper calendars and timekeeping methods? I am hoping to find some good loose sheet options so I can put them into a Levenger for him so he only has to carry one book around rather than two.

      1. Haha oops I just saw that you wanted something specific to attorney timekeeping. Nevermind! Carry on…

        1. I’m actually looking for a calendar and a timekeeping system, so those might work!

      1. These look almost perfect. I’ll show him later and see what he says. I am a humble gov’t attorney who thankfully doesn’t have to keep time, so I was hoping this site could help me with his quest.

  11. This week marks my 4 year anniversary with my organization. I also turned 35 a month ago. I’m feeling ready to give up – like quit-my-job-pack-an-SUV-with-books-and-retire-to-an-isolated-cabin give up. I’ve given my employer the last 4 years of my life, received excellent ratings, taken on SO MANY special assignments when they came up including one with a major move, and yet have not been promoted. At this point I struggle to point to anybody else who has been here as long and NOT been promoted at least once. I’m told this is all because at my org you need endorsement from a number of higher-ups…but I work in a tiny department and honestly do not interact with anywhere near the requisite number of people. Plus over the years there are individuals who would have been my strongest advocates who have simply left. So now I am stuck in a career rut, have no options unless I want a cross-country move (I do not). OH and by the way I have no boyfriend (was working too friggin hard) and almost no friends here as a recent transplant.

    I am not good enough in my work life.
    I am not good enough in my personal life.
    I am not good enough in my hobbies (cooking, the piano, painting).

    Nothing I do is good enough.

    Rant over/thx for listening.

    1. I definitely know what it is like to feel like you are failing on all those fronts. So what are you going to do? By your own admission, you are good at your job. Why remain loyal to them? Why not start working on finding a new job, one with the potential for promotion? Why not dial back the long hours for an unappreciative employer and do online dating/work on some 6 hour long Julia Child recipe/sit outside and paint?

      I have been in those ruts. When you start to feel insecure in one aspect of your life, it can snowball. But realistically, work has you down. Come up with an exit plan and I am sure some of the other aspects won’t seem so disappointing.

    2. You are absolutely good enough! I worked for a bunch of jerks for 11 years until I finally realized how under-appreciated I was. I changed jobs and could not be happier. Sometimes the grass really is greener & you need to jump ship to make things happen.

    3. Hugs. You are experiencing middle age fatigue where you are questioning your purpose in life. I think getting a boyfriend would help but even without a formal relationship, the magic of sexual intimacy with a guy willing and able to bring you to climax will give you a raison d’etre to forge forward at work. In my case I hadn’t had a man for 3 years, and I met a guy at a farmers market. After he understood me and my needs, he spent the remainder of the weekend at my place and we both enjoyed the experience. I did not call him for a week but we reconnect periodically when our needs dictate. It is a joyful experience. BTW, I am not classically pretty, and neither is he, but it makes little difference in the candlelight, as we can make beautiful music together. I recommend you do this. Men are everywhere from the supermarket to the laundromat and everywhere in between, and with a little encouraging wink from you, will satisfy your needs. Seek. And find your savior!

  12. What’s the male equivalent of flowers? Preference for non-alcoholic suggestions because getting him his favorite whiskey was an idea I already had. I just need to show him some mad appreciation/recognition for a number of things recently. TIA!

    4. And why not flowers? I’ve sent them on occasion, including once to my soon-to-be-ex-H when we were first dating, more often for an occasion — and once for an apology :/ — and they were well received.

    6. I’m late to the party, but I go to a World Market and stock up on their mini imported smoked meats, hot sauces, cheeses, coffee, etc. (and I add a bottle of something, but this can easily be omitted) and buy a small basket/ container there to put it in.

  13. I’m so ready to go home! I started reading “The Life-changing Magic of Tidying Up” this week and I have a huuuuuuuge pile of tops on my guest bed that I’m going to go through and purge. I’ve been on a massive decluttering mission for the last month but I’ve been recently rejuvenated through this book and I fear I’m starting to bore the people in my life with my excitement.

    1. I LOVE that book! I think it works wonders! Keep purging and keep us posted.

    2. Also really enjoyed that book, although I didn’t adopt her system. I’m more of a “continual declutterer” and have been gradually getting rid of SO MUCH STUFF. And selling most of it on eBay which has made for some nice cash.

  14. Just a heads up to anyone that knows Former Preg 3L, someone claiming to be her ex-husband is posting about her at the end of the afternoon thread. Just thought she would want to know.

    1. Actually, not at the end. In response to the post asking about her at 10:19 am. Uses the same screen name as the person asking so maybe he asked about her himself.

        1. Holy moly. An enormous part of me hopes this is all just internet fakeness. Hugs to her if it’s real :-/

    2. Well he seems unhinged. I was never a fan of hers but if that’s really him I certainly feel bad for her. No better way to show that you are not “the big bad” then by trolling a website for women and showing that you’ve been keeping tabs of your wife’s online activity since 2012.

      1. It’s really scary and emotionally abusive / manipulative. Classic “you have no safe space, I am everywhere” behavior. Hugs to you FormerPreg3L. We are still behind you even if you don’t want to post anymore after that. :(

        1. And in this vein, Kate PLEASE delete that thread. No reason for it to stay up and feed the vengeful and/or trolls.

  15. Yay! Open thread! This weekend I’m going back to the Berkshire’s, but will NOT run again. My leg’s are still sore from last weekend. Ellen keeps telling me that at least I don’t have her tuchus. But I wish I had something more for men to admire when I walk around in high heels. I am goeing to take a break from running, which Dad will NOT like. FOOEY on him! I am tired of schmoes that buy me dinner then went to just have sex. I want to get MARRIED! YAY!

  16. I’m a younger associate working in energy investment banking. I have a company dinner in New Orleans everyone is flying in at attend (appx 50 people all who work for the energy group). The dress for the guys is just a jacket and I was wondering what should I wear? I’m the only female in the group and am so lost on if I need to wear a black dress or if I can add color. Any help is appreciated!

    1. I’d wear a sheath dress with matching jacket. Then if it’s less formal, you can take off the jacket. If not, the jacket stays on. I’d wear jewel leery with it too….like pearls.

    2. I would also advise a sheath dress with a matching jacket. I also would bring two necklaces. A strand of pearls or other traditionally formal necklace and a really fun necklace. Maybe not wear either on the plane and then when you see what everyone is wearing, slip the one more appropriate on in the bathroom. If anyone asks just say you don’t like flying with anything around your neck!

  17. I’m a younger associate working in energy investment banking. I have a company dinner in New Orleans everyone is flying in to attend (appx 50 people all who work for the energy group). The dress for the guys is just a jacket and I was wondering what should I wear? I’m the only female in the group and am so lost on if I need to wear a black dress or if I can add color. Any help is appreciated!

  18. I don’t have to do evening daycare pickup/dinner/bathtime anymore, and I’m stoked.

    I’ve been running my own consulting business for the past five years, but I’m starting a great in-house job next month. I thought running my own business would be great while our kids are young (1 and 3), and while the flexibility has been helpful it has also meant that I’m the one doing almost all of the evenings and sick days. (Husband is in-house counsel with fixed working hours.)

    We’ve hired a nanny a part time nanny to pick up our kids, feed them dinner, and bathe them. So all I have to do is come home and snuggle my clean, fed kids to bed.

    Looking forward to shifting my work life balance to the work end for awhile, if that makes sense.

  19. Has anyone done Trunk Club for Women? What has your experience been like?

  20. Fashion / protocol advice, please!

    I will attend a meeting in London presided over by Prince Philip. What on earth do I wear to meet a prince? Please don’t say ‘normal work clothes’ as I work on the west coast in academia, where style choices go from creative to slovenly. Do I need a suit? Would a DVF wrap dress work? Would I needs jacket with it? The meeting is in Nov., so I’d guess it would be chilly in London then? Any other packing tips for a two day meeting in Londin greatly appreciated!

    1. How exciting! What kind of meeting is this? Is it a work meeting, or more of a reception? If it were me, I would err on the side of overdressing. I would also read blogs on British Royals for pics of any kind of similar events. What do other people wear when they meet royalty? Sophie and Kate Middleton often wear smart knee-length sheath dresses, like LK Bennett, that could work with or without a jacket. This pic shows a lot of variety in the audience: http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/06/24/article-2666919-1F0EDF8C00000578-887_964x683.jpg

        2. I think this is much too casual. We do not merely put a bird on it for royalty. Either a very dressy day dress or a suit.

          1. I have to agree. It’s a pretty dress but not something that says to me “go meet royalty for once in a lifetime experience.”

          2. Okay. But meeting royalty or not, I could not afford to spend $400 on a day dress and I think you need to suggest some other options…

            I make a fairly good salary, but I wouldn’t spend over $100 and I’m not sure the OP would either…

      4. I love this dress! I’m tempted to go for it on cost-per-wear. I can’t really afford a $350 dress, but I’d much rather have one that I love and wear again and again, than a couple stretchy knits. If I think about it like a suit, it becomes more palatable. With this in mind, I’ll check Nordstrom first for something similar.

  22. I need a new watch. I have my eye on a Michele but it’s out of my price range right now. Any recs in the $200 range? Or should I just go cheap and save up for the Michele?

  23. What’s your favorite calendar app?

    I’ve been using Fantastical for a year or so now after reading a bunch of great reviews, and honestly, I just don’t like it. I’ve also realized what’s important to me in a calendar: awesome, awesome visuals (super clean, easy to read, attractive, color-coded, etc); smart functionality (for example, if I put in an entry similar to one I’ve entered before, I want the app to remember it, categorize it appropriately, add the same reminder times, etc); and cloud/sharing functionality. Am I looking for a unicorn here? Do most of you (with iPhones) just use the native app?

    In case anyone is wondering, things that bother me about Fantastical: every single entry defaults to the same category (I wish it would pick key words and categorize based on those), it just doesn’t seem user-friendly, and then some OCD things…. like the first word in an entry isn’t always auto-capitalized.

  24. As a professional and a mother, I don’t let my son take the state tests even though he does well. I wish more professionals would help me in the fight against the corporate takeover of public education. The hours of homework, the lack of recess, the increased segregation, the disparity for how they treat black urban kids compared to white kids in the suburbs, the deprivation of electives in favor or remediation, the prison pipeline, all in the name of privatization which is just giving my tax dollars to corporations. Too many young smart recent college graduates, are jointing Teach for AMerica, also known as Teach for Awhile. I hope more and more of you join in the opt out movement even if you have kids in private school or you are homeschooling. Corporate mothers need to join this fight.

    1. Is there any negative ramification for choosing this option? For example, I thought in the state where I went to high school your scores on state tests determined if you got scholarships to the state schools. I agree with you that we need to move away from “teaching to the test.” There needs to be some balance too though. Shouldn’t there be some standard to make sure schools are adequately educating kids? An A or C doesn’t mean anything if we don’t know what knowledge backs that up. I think the standardized requirements were just ramping up when I was in HS and I hear they are far worse now.

      What does your kid do on the testing days? Does he get dinged w/ absences? Is he is in school is he allowed to read for pleasure or do another assignment or does he just have to sit there?

      Could schools eventually use the scores on the standardized tests as part of the regular grading process? Like in lieu of mid-terms per se? Then you really couldn’t opt out because he wouldn’t be able to be graded. I’m just curious.

      1. We opt out as an act of civil disobedience. My son will take the SAT or ACT. We keep him out on testing times but usually set doctor appointments on those days. Other parents have their kids go to school, break the seal, don’t answer questions, and sit there the rest of the time. I agree that some testing is okay, but not to pay teachers, grade schools, or deny electives to students. We can test kids and have the consequences not be so high stakes. And, as a parent, I know which teachers are great, which are good, and which are lazy. We all do and a test score does’t really tell us anything in the aggregate except the wealth in a zip code. Across the board, students in wealthy areas do better on standard tests so that isn’t about the teachers or the individual students but about poverty. Even if you aren’t opting your kids out, and EVEN IF YOU DON’T HAVE KIDS, you can fight against the focus on testing.

        1. Maybe you should use the opt-out days as an opportunity to contribute to other communities. Like how some people use MLK day to volunteer. Is there a way to spend the time/money/effort to actually fix the investment/achievement gap instead of just running medical errands?

          1. Wildkitten, my son volunteered all last summer at legal aid. What are you doing to help restore traditional public education?

          2. Well, nothing. But I guess the same as you, since I also don’t have my kids take standardized tests.

          3. Mary Ann- you don’t seem to get that wild kitten is trying to think of ways to help. You seem very defensive which seems counter intuitive to your goals of getting more people to help. As someone without children, I don’t quite know where to start with this fight- but seeing your aggressive condescending attitude doesn’t really make me want to jump right in. If you want more people to help you, being a little less rude could be a start.

          4. Srsly? If you’re this hostile for no reason here I worry. Wildkitten was being supportive.

          5. Wildkitten’s suggestion was ridiculous and presumptuous. She assumed that is the only thing we do. I run an opt out page, write to my state and federal lawmakers, write letters to the editor, and attend school board meetings. I have also brought speakers on the prison pipeline to the ACLU. When we opt out, we deny them the data which is what they want. The reason I brought it up here is that many parents who have bright kids don’t want to opt out because their kids do fine on the tests. I am a progressive and it is Progressive educators who started opt out so they don’t think it hurts educators. They think that doing nothing will hurt educators since they aren’t being treated like professionals. But opt-out is only one part of the deal – we need educators to use research to show that recess and the arts are as necessary as academics.

          6. Cici – check out unitedoptout.com to begin. Then you will find more parents to help you in your state. Check out opt out groups on Facebook. You will find parents and educators working together to challenge homework loads, the lack of recess and fighting for special needs children. But in every group I see, very few parents are attending school board meetings. Or, they see their kids are doing fine, so they don’t realize the negative impact on the kids who are being deprived of electives, etc. Thanks for asking.

          7. I should have not said “just” – but I think there are a lot of positive things you can do to improve the education system for the kids who are really screwed by our current set-up and since you’re so passionate you might enjoy having another place to channel your passion for this issue. You didn’t mention anything in your post besides opposing standardized testing. I agree they are not the only/best solution but I don’t think they are the only problem either.

        2. How does opting out ultimately help? You’re never going to get enough traction to affect policy — sorry, but it’s true. I live in a conservative state where opt-out is fairly strong, and guess what? Nothing has changed. Legislators don’t care that a handful of kids sit out, and the only ones who suffer are those on the other end of the state’s accountability system — educators.

          Sure, standardized tests have myriad things wrong with them — no question. They have socioeconomic bias, are too lengthy and often don’t coincide with what kids need to be learning. And we don’t live in a society that values education, teaching, knowledge for knowledge’s sake, etc, near enough. But by not taking the test, in some states, the school loses, not the student. If you have a smart, capable kid, who cares if they sit for the test? Of course, it’s every parent’s choice, but it’s hard to see exactly who benefits from opting out — it’s certainly not the teachers whose performance evaluations and pay rely on those test scores. Unfortunately we live in a country where, at least for now, test scores matter, and if good scores help contribute to the performance of the school, that (in the long run) means more funding and support for the school and its teachers.

          If you really want to make a difference, vote for legislators who want to eliminate or reduce high-stakes testing. Write to your state legislators about which local education bills to support or not. Go to your state board of education and speak out about policy changes. Help create legislation. Lobby or volunteer with groups that do. Opting out won’t change the system. It just makes sure that the losers are the schools and the people who work hard to educate kids — not the lawmakers who put the system into place to begin with.

          1. Progressive educators started Unitedoptout.com ! They would not agree that opt out hurts teachers at all. Check out the website. And, of course, we are doing all of the things you suggest. What I want to know is why more parents aren’t speaking out. Most are just very complacent.

          2. Not a parent, but from just reading this s!te, I would say many, especially those who work like you are trying to recruit, are just trying to make it through the day. I am sure some are complacent but I imagine many other parents just have higher priorities.

    3. I really like testing. I like data. I want to know who is being left behind and who has wholes in their education.

      I don’t know why 50 states need 50 different tests (do they still do the Iowa and California tests?).

      But I want testing b/c I’m sure that without it, every child will be above average.

Comments are closed.