Corporette.com

Updated: Apr 16, 2021 129 Comments · by

Weekend Open Thread

Weekend Open Thread

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.


Something on your mind? Chat about it here.

Now is a great time to find a ton of cords on sale, such as these hiiiiighly rated corduroys from Kut from the Cloth, which are now down to $34. Let's discuss, ladies — what do you wear for winter weekends? I still like skinnier cords since they pair better with my Sorels and rainboots, but I do like the look of bootcuts, which are coming back in. (Along the skinny/leggings line of things, I just got these Heattech leggings-pants from Uniqlo, both of which are in the rotation now…) The straight/wide cropped leg is another growing look (like this pair or this pair), but to me it looks too drafty for winter — what say you? The pictured cords were $69, but are now marked to $34; they come in at least six different colors in regular sizes 0-18. Baby Bootcut Corduroy Jeans

This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Sales of note for 9.30.24

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. Nepal?

    I’m considering a solo trip to Nepal in the fall. Has anyone gone, and is it a comfortable place for solo women travelers? Any recommendations for tour groups or must see spots? I would like to see Kathmandu and also do a bit of trekking.

    • Anon

      The Annapurna Circuit is amazing. I did it with my fiancé. While it felt very safe, I would go with a tour group if I were a solo female. But I tend anxious – so take that into account. The Circuit is quite accessible as long as you are in good physical shape and accustomed to hiking. I took Diamox because I am susceptible to altitude sickness. I did get sick the last night before the pass and while going over the pass, but it subsided quickly with the steep descent on the other side of the pass. Have fun – the Himalayas are breathtaking. I can’t wait to trek there again.

    • Go!

      I travelled in Nepal solo a few years ago and loved it. I felt very safe in Kathmandu; it’s a pretty tourist city with lots of expats (with the usual caveats about walking alone at night, etc.). I would not have gone trekking alone, though. I wanted to make friends so I stayed at a hostel, and ended up finding trekking buddies that way. Not sure if that’s your speed. There are TONS of tour companies so it’s very easy to organize something once you get there. I also spent a few days at a yoga center up in the hills in Bhaktapur, which I loved. Happy to share advice/tips if you post a burner email.

    • Junior Associate

      Just a note that I would check the advisories if you are planning on trekking; my friend went recently, and due to abnormal amounts of snowfall in the past several years (climate change), there has been a sharp increase in deadly avalanches and the Annapurna Circuit was closed when she went.

    • Anon

      If you’re still reading this on Monday…

      I was in Nepal in 2011 and did the Annapurna Base Camp (ABC) trek. It was one of my all-time travel highlights (50+ countries) and would highly recommend it. It’s a bit shorter than the Annapurna Circuit although still very substantial, so can be a good choice if you have slightly less time. I went to Nepal with a friend, but echo what others have said about generally feeling safe as a woman (many of the dangers, like bus travel and severe weather, seem to be equal opportunity; stay alert and use common sense). The trekking solo piece is more of a know your own tolerance thing, although I personally am strongly against trekking alone. The ABC trek is very heavily trafficked but like any good trek it has its share of dangers and you are always safer having someone around to help (or run for help). Both my friend and I had bouts of altitude sickness (mine pretty severe although not dangerous – my friend got me to a teahouse at a lower altitude, consulted with the teahouse owners and random guides sitting around, and put me to bed; I was fine the next morning but it was a miserable day/night). We trekked sans guide or porter, but if you don’t have a trek buddy a guide can be a good way to go. When I was in Pokhara (base town for Annapurna region; loved it and was happy hanging out there for several days) there was at least one organization of women-only guides. And as someone else mentioned above, there are lots of other single travelers looking for trekking buddies. Remember to leave time to get any needed permits (easy but took us an extra afternoon in Pokhara and a few passport-sized photos) and if you forget any gear, the Thamel neighborhood in Kathmandu (the main tourist/backpacker neighborhood) is jam packed with gear shops (mostly knock-offs but often excellent quality).

      Have fun!

  2. Ellen

    Kat, I so love Uniqlo now that they have the big store on 5th Avenue! And their prices are very reasonable. I also love the leggings you pointed out — I always go in to try them on as my tuchus size is unpredictable when trying on pair to pair, even within the same manufacturer. Is Uniqlo manufactured in China? If so, we should stock up now b/c they may stop trade coming from China, as no planes are going in from the US, and that will affect us all. My Dad hopes this Corona flu stuff blows over quickly, b/c he does NOT want me to go into crowded areas until the flu is under control. FOOEY b/c I enjoy going out and now I must stay home at night and watch TV. That is not good for me b/c I need to meet a man worthy of marrying me, and I do not want to invite strange men I do not know into my apartement. Look what happened to the pretty women who were with Weinstern. DOUBEL FOOEY!

  3. Senior Attorney

    At the beginning of the month/year we posted about our goals, and I wonder how everybody is doing?

    My husband and I didn’t accomplish all the things on our January list (looking at you, 25 no-alcohol days) but we did have not one but two dinner parties and got some financial/paperwork things in better shape than they’ve been in for a while. I went back to tap dancing after several years of not tapping and am having so much fun! And this wasn’t on my list but I got a library card so now I can check out ebooks for free! Yay! Finally, my doctor suggested I try going pescatarian and after a false start or two that’s been going well for the past couple of weeks.

    Coming up for February: more no-alcohol days, keep up the things I started in January, and start Tuesday ballet class to go with my Thursday tap!

    Anybody else want to share?

    • Anon

      1. Intermittent fasting – started towards the end of last year, kept up through the month without much difficulty.
      2. Doing a no buy year – January was success. I didn’t buy any non-consumable things.
      Want to just keep this stuff up.

    • anon

      We technically only attempted two dry weeks, successfully, but this helped cut back the habit of having a drink after dinner at home.
      I have been tracking all animal products I bring home from grocery shopping. I compare the numbers against a study that contains suggested amounts of all food groups that would optimize health and sustainability aspects. Getting a good look at my current situation is the necessary starting point for me when I try to change something. Not quite unexpectedly, my meat and fish consumption is low, but my dairy consumption is higher than I would like. In cooking adventures, I’ve figured out kale and quinoa this month. So for February, I shall tweak some more!

        • anon

          it’s from the Lancet, but I’m posting a different link where you don’t have to create a login to see
          https://scalingupnutrition.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/EATLancet-Report.pdf
          The crucial table is on page 5. I took the numbers in grams and multiplied to get a rough estimate of how much this would be for two people monthly to compare against my grocery shopping. I did some research to find out that 1 gram of hard cheese needs ~10 grams of milk, and the factor goes down for softer cheeses, yoghurt and cream.

    • Anon

      Successfully managing no diet or weight talk with other women, which has been a bit hard when literally every woman I work with has mentioned their IF protocols, their guilt about hamburgers, etc etc. multiple times. I don’t engage at all.

    • Anon

      I weaned my baby in summer 2019 and proceeded to gain 10 pounds in the last half of 2019. Excluding pregnancy, it’s the only time in my life I’ve gained weight suddenly like that (a few pounds crept on between college and age 35, but I’m ok with those and accept that my ‘base weight’ is higher now than in college). So it’s super cliche, but I want to lose weight or at least make sure I don’t gain any more in 2020. I’m sure it sounds weird to many of you, but excluding immediately post-baby weight loss that required no effort, I’ve never lost weight in my life – the number has always held steady or gone up, so this “trying to lose weight” thing is an entirely foreign concept to me. So far, I’ve been doing 16:8 intermittent fasting and trying to go to the gym at least two nights/week, which I mostly accomplished pretty well in January. I think I’m down a couple pounds but trying not to focus on the scale for now, just being very consistent about the IF and gym.

      • Anon.

        That weight gain happened to me, too, after I stopped breastfeeding. First time in my life where I really wanted to lose weight.

        I can highly recommend the free Down Dog apps. They have a 7 min workout and a customizable HIIT app (you choose fitness level, length of workout etc.), and I’ve really enjoyed doing 10 or so min of exercise every day! Down 2 pounds this month!

    • Abby

      I was aiming for a semi dry January except for the week I was on vacation, and it was going well until things blew up at work and I had a few nights of drinking wine for dinner.
      My biggest 2020 goal was to get a new job and that is pending my background check! I guess another bonus of my job being terrible, is losing some weight due to stress and anxiety. Talk about a slight slight silver lining.
      Funnily enough, my 2019 goal was to floss (which went well), and I haven’t gotten a new calendar for 2020 yet to put stickers on so I have done terribly!

      • Senior Attorney

        You should be able to find a 2020 calendar on sale now, at least! ;) Metropolitan Museum of Art has 20% off everything right now…

    • Vicky Austin

      Pretty sure my vegetable intake is way up and very happy with that! Figuring out how to get more protein in my diet, turning away from sugary choices as rewards for eating said vegetables, and starting a proper exercise regime this coming month.

    • NOLA

      I didn’t have any concrete goals other than to have more of a personal life, which I do! I got one of those “since you’re the closest person to campus, can you come up and unlock doors” questions at 8:10 on a Saturday morning and I didn’t even get it until 30 minutes later (had turned off the sound on my phone and left it in the bedroom with a sleeping guy). One great thing is that my guy loves to cook and he will even shop and plan the meal for a Friday night rather than going out. He knows what I will eat and like, so it’s great and we can just relax at home and splurge a little on dessert since we’re eating healthy (mostly grilling seafood and veggies). I’m eating a lot more seafood, which is also good for me. I did not succeed at not buying clothes – I had a much-needed day to myself on MLK day and went to the mall. Oh well. I have given away so many clothes that I now have some room, but that doesn’t mean I need to buy!

    • Anon

      My #1 goal this year was to get a new job. I started searching on NYE, and today I received my first offer from a new firm and am leaning strongly toward accepting! (I am going to consider over the weekend and give my response early next week.) They exceeded my salary ask by $7k!! I am over the moon excited.

      • Ellen

        Kudo’s to you! I wish you all the best in your new job! If you are in NYC, mabye we can all meet for a drink or 2 after work with the other NY ‘rettes! YAY!!!!!

    • Junior Associate

      In January, I have successfully stayed off alcoholic and sugary beverages except for the few days I was on vacation. Also made it two yoga sessions every week (starting small), hoping to make it stick and go three times per week! New goal for February is to get a better sleep routine in place and get to bed before midnight, and eat more vegetables and protein, less chocolate and cheese!

    • Anon Probate Atty

      I’ve done pretty well with dry January—sort of—we had a party at our house one night so I had alcohol then, and the next Sunday evening I decided to [finally] attack my goal of posting videos on my firm’s FB page and website but I was too stiff in front of the camera, according to my husband, so I had a spiked seltzer to relax a bit.( It worked! Haha) Overall, I think it helped me take a step back and realize that I only want to drink 2 -3 drinks max, and only socially, on weekends. I hit my goal of walking 20 minutes per day on 29 out of 31 days. I’m going to try to keep doing that all year, so we’ll see how it goes. I’ve also been working out more- 4 days a week most weeks if you count yoga, which I do. So far so good!

    • Ellen

      I made a resolution to only say nice things even if I thought otherwise. I did pretty well, tho I had to hold my tongue literally a few times, otherwise I would have said something bad to someone who did/said something that I thought was wrong. I think I only fell off the wagon 2x with Frank (who deserved it). I will try again this month and see how it works.

      Dad is coming into town today, and he is taking me and Myrna out to lunch at Bens Deli and we will then go look at Condo’s near Union Square. He is staying over today b/c he has an early meeting at Columbia tomorrow and he does NOT want to have to come back in from LI tomorrow morning, so we will all watch the Super Bowl tonite. I have studied up a bit and think that the Chiefs will win. I saw something on the Today show where there is a 101 year old lady wearing a Chiefs shirt, so she must be righ! If anyone else agrees or disagrees, put your bet in NOW! YAY!!!

  4. Anon

    How do you work on the weekends? I am in the middle of a busy time at work and need to work on the weekends to stay afloat. A few hours each day? One full day of work? Saturday or Sunday?

    • Anon

      I don’t now, but when I was in Big Law it was more relaxing to me to put in a full-ish workday on Saturday (anywhere from 6 to 12 hours, depending on workload) and try to take Sunday off. Sometimes I had to work both, but usually I was able to get away with doing nothing except monitoring email on Sunday.

    • Anonymous

      When I was single, younger, and without kids, I would do one full day on a weekend when I needed to work (usually Saturday) and just treat it like a workday and go to the office and everything. Now that I’m older with kids, I am actually partial to working Saturday night after they go to bed. And then finishing up anything else on Sunday morning.

    • Equestrian Attorney

      I try to do a full day on Saturday and take Sunday off. If I have a closing on Monday I might need to work both days, but other than that I try to take a full day off.

    • RR

      I like to go in really early on Sunday (like 5 or 6) and work until early afternoon. I feel like I still have most of the day with my family, but I get basically a full day’s work in. I prefer Sundays so I can sleep in on Saturday and really enjoy Friday night.

    • Weekend Work

      For me, it varies based on how long the weekend work is going to last. If it’s just one weekend (and I have the next weekend off), I’ll typically do a few hours each day. If it’s going to be every weekend for the foreseeable future, I usually take a 6 days per week approach so that I have a full day “off” every seven days.

      YMMV, but sometimes I like waking up very early on weekend days to get a few hours of work out of the way, which has the added bonus of making me feel like I still get an (almost) full weekend day.

    • NOLA

      Not sure how he came to this, but my guy works some most weekends and he generally relaxes completely from Friday evening through Sunday noon (he goes out for breakfast when I leave for church) then works Sunday afternoon and evening, if needed. I think it gives him some completely off time, then he gets caught up before starting the work week. That said, he’s an engineer, so I’m not sure how the cycle of his work goes.

      • Anonymous

        I am a lawyer and this is what I do. I am older, no kids, but single with an active social life and a Sunday morning routine that is important to me. This way, I feel like I get to leave work behind me for 36+ hours and sacrifice no weekend evenings or Sunday morning. But I always always get the Sunday Scaries, so I might as well actually be working then if things need to get done.

        • Junior Associate

          This is what I do too, unless I have a closing looming and everyone is on the clock 24/7. Generally I’m too spent by Saturday, so the 36 hours or so of relaxation helps with recovering from the past week, and I’m much more productive on sunday afternoons since I don’t have much time to goof off.

    • Anonymous

      I don’t work on Friday nights or Saturday daylight hours for religious reasons ; when I needed to work a lot on weekends (which was mainly pre kids) I often found it more relaxing to work sundown to bedtime Saturday if I only had 3-5 hours of work, or Sunday if it was more than 3-5 hours.

    • Anonymous

      I work on the weekends regularly but have two small kids. So I frequently set the alarm for Sat or Sun, just like I do on the weekdays. I wake up, sneak downstairs, make coffee and frequently can get a solid two hours in before Kid #1 wakes up. A few hours Sat AM, a few Sun AM and a few Sun evening is not uncommon. Then I have all day (and all Fri and Sat evenings) for fun / family time.
      DH is 100% fine with taking the kids out of the house for a few hours so I can do more but that causes hella guilt for me, so I figure work needs to be satisfied with being a side piece on the weekend.
      And on the occasional morning when I wake up and decide I don’t need to do work, I go for a run or do some yoga. I am naturally a morning person so this is not nearly as much of a struggle for me as it might be for some people. Staying up late, now… that is torture.
      I am not in law, fwiw

  5. anon8

    I mostly wear lounge clothes on winter weekends. I seriously hibernate during the weekends in the winter. I can come home on Friday and not leave the house until Monday morning.

      • anon8

        Just responding to the following question in the post. :-)

        “Let’s discuss, ladies — what do you wear for winter weekends?”

        • Anon

          Ohhh! Shows that I never even read the posts anymore, just look at the clothes and then come to the comments :)

          • anon8

            I know! I usually do the same, but just happened to glance at the caption this time.

        • Cat

          Ha, I’ll play. Given the “winter” we are having this year, warmth is not really a major concern. So I’m still in skinnies with sneakers and ankle socks, not layering up with FLEECE TIGHTS.

    • NOLA

      I have bought some awesome lounge-y pants (like the skinny fleece joggers from VS) and have been living in those and giant fleece tunics around the house since I don’t have central heat and my heater doesn’t heat my kitchen much at all. When I go out on weekends, I generally wear jeans and boots or sneakers with a sweatshirt or sweater. I’m pretty casual.

      • anon8

        I am all about comfort when I’m at home. But I’m also very casual when I go out. I really don’t have a dressy lifestyle at all. Even work is super casual.

    • Ale

      Me too. I did like three workouts per week in summer, and now I’m struggling to get 1. Feeling tired and sleepy all the time. I prone to seasonal depression, so I use light therapy and stuff, but I barely get through. And it’s even not the worst winter.

      • pugsnbourbon

        It’s late but I’m right there with you. Seasonal depression really walloped me this month – I’m counting down the days to spring.

    • Anonome

      I have a death grip on my threadbare discontinued VS yoga pants. I live in them all weekend (at home, no one wants to see that isht) and then baby them with handwashing. I know I’m extra about them, but everything I love gets cancelled! The ones made for the Pink brand suuuuuuuck.

  6. Anon 4 this

    I’m looking at in-house positions but I really have no sense of what hours are typical for in-house lawyers with litigation/compliance portfolios. Would it be reasonable to work 9-6:30 with no or minimal evening / weekend work?

    • Anon

      Totally totally depends on the company. Some are 9-5, some will expect much more than that.
      Also, it might be the part of the country I live in (Midwest) but if you were going to be in the office for 9.5 hours, 8-5:30 or even 7:30-5 would be much more typical than 9-6:30. 6:30 is practically night time around here ;)

    • Leatty

      It depends on a lot of factors. At my old inhouse job, I worked 9-7+. At my current one, I typically work 9-5:30/6 (although I worked closer to 9-5 when I was slightly more junior) and rarely work nights/weekends.

      What are the hours of the company? If you’re supporting a global business or one that is open nights and weekends, you can expect to deal with more early morning/late night calls and emails. What type of work you do? If you’re handling bet-the-company litigation, the company may expect you to be fully available, especially when cases are very active. I think it also depends on your seniority, the size of the legal department, the complexity of the company you work for, the type of industry it is in, etc. And frankly, a lot of it depends on the people you work with (both internal clients and peers/managers).

    • Anokha

      Agreed to all above. It’s really company specific. I’m in-house and it also varies based on time of year and workload. My typical hours are 9 – 4:45, but there are weeks where I hop on again from 9-11, depending on workload. (and weeks where I don’t have anything requiring nightly work!)

    • Anonymous

      Our in house counsel keep regular business hours with occasional exceptions. But… at least in our industry/location no one would ever get away with starting at 9. It was a big shock to me coming from a law firm! Official business hours 8-5 but people think nothing of scheduling 7:30 meetings (and people often leave by 4:30).

      • Anon

        Yep I feel like the corporate world starts much earlier than law firms, because people want to get home and have dinner with their families. Whereas in law firms most people are working in the office well past 7 pm, so starting at 9 am or even later is normal.

    • Anon

      Agree that it totally depends on the company.

      But also depends on the industry. Established high margin businesses are likely to have larger law depts but that means things are probably more compartmentalized and you’re doing one thing, which might be appealing to you or not.

      And it also depends on your role and law dept structure. If you have a jack-of-all trades role, you’ll probably have to work off hours if you’re covering a wider geography or group that works odd hours. If you’re managing litigation or compliance program but not dealing with it directly, you probably can control your hours more.

      I was a litigator in private practice and now GC of a global company (lower margin industry) with parent co headquartered overseas. I have people working for me on day to day stuff but I’m hands on with the most serious stuff. All this means starting the day most mornings at 6am and working odd night hours regularly. But I rarely stay in the office past 7pm and I try not to work during the day on weekends so I can spend time with hubby and teens. I’ll probably add in a weekend day or partial day of work once the kids leave the house.

  7. Anonymous

    Does anyone have any great lasagna recipes that aren’t a ton of calories? Thanks!

  8. Abby

    So I guess update on my new job: HR sent over benefits and went over pay structure. If all goes well, my base + bonus will be 250% my current salary which is nuts! They are doing background checks/etc and I won’t get to sign an offer letter for 3 more weeks, meaning I won’t be quitting my job until I get the green light. Feels weird to be at work, knowing I am leaving (almost 99% sure) but I also think it’s good for me to settle my emotions and plan for departure.
    Just rambling since I’m not discussing this with many people irl! Also I know it’s been discussed before, but any good books for working women advice/imposter syndrome?

    • Vicky Austin

      I can’t advise you on imposter syndrome, but I am delighted for you – way to kick some ass!

      • Abby

        I actually thought of you when I calmed down from the excitement, like “I can’t wait to tell Vicky on corporette!!” hahaha.

        • Vicky Austin

          Eeeee that’s so sweet!! I’m really so psyched for you! 250%!? Zing!

    • Flats Only

      I don’t have book recs, but don’t let the pay jump give you impostor syndrome. Unless your new job is so different from the old one that you are starting at square one, the nice salary bump is because the new job is in a different industry / company with better financials / company that values their employees more – NOT because you are pretending to be something you’re not! When I was young I changed from “Job A” in a tiny non-profit to “Job A” in a large for-profit. I got a huge salary bump because the for-profit just paid more, not because I was only pretending I knew how to do “Job A”. Best of luck!

      • Abby

        Thanks for this – My current team has made me doubt a lot of my abilities, and I can tell I’ve lost some confidence in my work and ability. That mixed with the huge pay increase, has me a little worried I’m not good enough. Luckily it is the same industry, but at the same time I am nervous the new team will expect me to know way more than I do.

    • Ale

      Look, compensation rarely connected to the real value of someone’s work, so consider yourself a lucky person (in a good sense – the universe is taking care of you) instead of an impostor.
      As for impostor syndrome, I only saw good results from therapy. It’s usually connected with your school experience and being a woman.
      I’m an HR.

  9. Anonymous

    I always like cords in theory, but I find they attract pet hair like crazy.

    • pugsnbourbon

      Same with velvet. The velvet leggings I crave would be a mess in seconds.

    • Anon

      I also hate the way the bottoms wrinkle over shoes. Somehow it looks much sloppier than “stacked” jeans, I guess due to softer fabric. And I definitely wouldn’t wear stilettos like the model, especially on the weekend, to prevent wrinkling.

  10. confused

    So, I need to poke the hive mind a bit. I’m a 8th year associate at a large regional law firm. Two years ago I switched firms (including a practice area switch). I have been generally unhappy with my new position. I don’t have the opportunity for meaningful work here. I had a lot of responsibility previously, and I’m pretty much fulfilling the duties of a third year associate now. I haven’t taken a deposition in over a year. It’s clearly going to take me 3-4 more years to break into the non-equity ranks. The trade off is the hours are extremely reasonable, basically 9-5. But the culture requires that I’m in the office even when I’m not busy, so I only take about 2 weeks off a year.

    My old firm has approached me to return to my former position. More challenging (and fun) work. More driving and more billable hours and more stress. I’m leaning towards making the switch, but sometimes it seems objectively stupid. Thoughts?

    • Ducky

      If I were in your position I would stay at the current job and look for opportunities outside of work to do something meaningful and challenging. The reasonable hours and shorter commute should make it easier for you to do philanthropic work, become a regional expert in something, start a new hobby, or even research other employment options.

      • Anon

        I’m a work to live person too, but not everyone is like that, which is ok. It sounds like OP is a lot more ambitious than you or me and her gut is telling her that she wants more challenging and fulfilling work, even if it comes with longer hours and more stress. And I have to say, even as someone who very much embraces the 9-5 and loves having a laidback job where I have time for a life, doing a job that doesn’t use your skills at all is unbearably frustrating. I’ve been there, and it was really soul-crushing, so I understand the desire to get out even at the expense of work-life balance.
        OP, you know exactly what you’re getting into at the old firm in terms of hours and work-life balance, so I would be inclined to listen to your gut and make the switch.

    • Senior Attorney

      Is old firm offering you more money? What about partnership prospects? Why did you leave in the first place?

      I think something needs to change, either going back to old firm, figuring out a way to branch out into non-work interests, or looking for a new job that has better balance. You just need to figure out what your priorities are.

    • Anonymous

      Why did you leave in the first place? Why do you think that has changed now?

      • Anonymous

        Can you negotiate some concessions from your old firm? Remote working at time, better pay, whatever would make your life better

        • confused

          Thanks everyone for the responses. A couple follow ups.

          We haven’t discussed salary yet, but I would anticipate around a 10 percent raise in pay. Likely partnership in 2 years. When I left old firm, the counteroffer was a 10 percent raise and partnership in 9 months. I would expect something similar, as old firm is very interested in bringing me back.

          The reasons I left were two-fold: 1) burn out – I split time between two offices, so I was handling files across all the firm’s practice areas and billing the second-most in the firm. lots of windshield time; 2) I started taking interviews because of the of satellite offices had a nightmare partner (screaming, yelling, erratic behavior, but great at rainmaking). Nightmare partner was fired a few months before I left old firm.

          Old firm has promised me a reduction in practice areas, including resuming my position in my old practice area, which is super specialized and I love. Old firm has promised to address my work load, but I’ll accept some responsibility for not being able to tell partners “no” effectively. I would still be splitting time between two offices, but I would have flexibility to work from home whenever necessary. Also, because my hours were up, I usually take more vacations at old firm, and that’s never been an issue. Old firm was great about getting me in front of clients and letting me actively participate at trial (take witnesses, etc).

          At current firm, I’ve had more time to engage in my hobbies. I billed 700 less hours, which sounds like a dream. But I don’t have any flexibility – I’m expected to be here 40 hours whether I’m busy or not. And I’m basically writing discovery responses and the occasional motion. I recently had a review, and the negatives were that I don’t have enough first trial trial experience or enough expert taking expert depositions. Which are two things that I do not have the opportunity to do here. I was told my work quality was excellent and received a 4 percent raise. I’ve been here 18 months, but I was told that I still am in the process of “onboarding.”

          Throw in that I’m 33 and my husband and I have been trying for a baby for the past 15 months. We haven’t tried any fertility measures yet. I also feel like we need to make a decision on my career and figure out the baby if it happens.

  11. Automated hair curler

    Best automated curling iron? I can’t master the wand but want beachy waves.

    • Dolce

      The Kiss Instawave iron. A third of the price of the beachwaver, but I’ve found it easier to use and longer lasting results

    • Nancy

      LOVE the Beachwaver….for some reason no matter how hard I try my fine hair will not get beach waves with me simply winding it around a curling rod/iron. The Beachwaver is self rotating…also again, my fine hair needs the IGK Beach Club product so add some “grit” so the curls stay in better…tried other similar products but this is the one that worked for my hair. Good Luck

  12. 312

    If anyone feels like vicarious shopping, I’m on the hunt for dark gray work pants. I had old ones from Loft that were the modern cut, but are probably out of style now … tia!

    • Anon

      Oh man, me too! I have a ton of black pants and I don’t really like navy. I know this is a personal hangup but it always looks cheap and frumpy to me for some reason. I just want grey pants!

    • Anon

      Me too. I’m looking for grey but with a little brown in it. Like a dark mushroom. Have found that to be more versatile for my wardrobe than a true grey or light grey which seem in style now. Have found a few styles in “gravel melange” at Ann Taylor that might work but they are full price so I will have to sale stalk them for a bit. Any suggestions for dark mushroom colored pants welcome!

  13. Anonome

    I’m furious with a coworker, “Jane”.

    Both of us were hired temp-to-perm, which is becoming common in our field. I was hired (years before her) for a new role, so I was the guinea pig. I had to be the one to navigate the hellacious sleazy temp agency the company chose to use, and my exhaustive documentation about their practices eventually got them fired, so Jane was directly hired by the company (still as a temp). Nobody understood what my job was or why it mattered, so I had to champion myself in a sea of white men. I had to fight for the company to recognize market rate for my field, when the salary they offered upon my conversion was jaw-droppingly bad. I had to find out too late that their claim about never negotiating PTO or vesting was actually a lie, and that some of my colleagues had done it.

    When Jane started, I welcomed her as a peer and made myself available as much as I could. I talked her through my timeline, told her what she would probably hear from HR and how to fight back, sent her resources I had access to as a paying member of our professional society, gave her all the details of benefit costs, and told her my hourly rates and raise percentages over time.

    This week, she finally got an offer for a permanent FT position. And when I asked if she was happy with the offer, she said “Salary is private, but I’m disappointed, yeah.” Wut. I’ve been offering up truckloads of “private” information over the past nine months, and she was glad to take it.

    I know Jane didn’t make or break any promises to me, and I know that what happened to me before she started isn’t in any way her problem. It is not her fault that I didn’t have someone doing for me what I’ve tried to do for her. But the very second that she had the chance to reciprocate, she backed away and made sure that she was the only person to benefit from our relationship.

    I’m angry and hurt, and I feel like a chump for buying into the “salary disclosure helps everyone” line.

    • anon

      She may be more open once the salary is settled and she’s in the FT position. I know I’m less open when I’m still in the midst of a negotiation. It’s not like you need to know today.

    • Anon

      I’m the Jane in this scenario, but you don’t get to decide what she considers private. I don’t feel like I owe anyone my salary info just because they’ve volunteered info about theirs. Just like I don’t expect every woman I meet to tell me about their miscarriages, just because I’m quite open about the fact that I had one once.

      • Anonome

        That’s the thing, though–I didn’t ASK her how much they offered her. I asked her if she was happy with the offer. I was careful to word it that way because I didn’t want to put any demands on her…so her response could have just as easily been “Yes, I’m satisfied” or “No, I’m not.” She went out of her way to draw a boundary that I didn’t feel I’d crossed.

    • Anon

      I don’t buy the salary disclosure helps everyone line – my salary information is private and I am discreet. Bottom line is individuals still negotiate independently-that’s how business works and I find that employees who like to share all of their personal compensation information with others are usually seeking “allies”. I don’t need compensation allies to ‘fight’ against the company- I don’t believe that we collectively do better as a whole. Negotiate hard and fight to protect yourself – no one else will. Bravo for doing a great job taking care of yourself!

    • Texan In Exile

      Whoa. I can understand why you feel hurt and betrayed. You tried to help her with your experience and she is not trying to reciprocate at all. It’s particularly hurtful (at least to me) when it’s another woman who is not helpful. I do what I can to support other women at work and I fight for them. I always hope for some solidarity. But it’s not always there.

    • anon

      I’ll be dissenter here. I’d be hurt and angry, too. It was kind of you to share your information with her. I would honestly distance her for a bit. She may share it with you in time but, if I were you, the damage would be mostly done to whatever friendship I had with her.

      Also, I do think salary disclosure helps (almost) everyone (not men, and sometimes not underperformers). It is a documented reason for the persistence of the gender wage gap.

        • Anonymous

          +2

          It reminds me of a woman at work who was very smart but seemingly insecure, and I went out of my way multiple times to give her advice/pointers/help and spoke up for her. She would ask me to coffee and ask my advice on advancement. Then the one time I asked her to lunch she declined, and said she devoted her social time to her personal life/husband etc..

          I (not so quickly) realized she was the most politically savvy person I knew, and had pumped me dry until she didn’t need my help anymore and that was it.

          • Go for it

            +1 That’s rotten, I have an office member just like that so can truly sympathize.

      • Anonymous

        I share and ask salaries, everyone I’ve asked has shared and I share mine. But I only ask with my professional peers, never anyone above or below. Maybe she’ll be more open when you are in negotiations for full time.

        I don’t see the harm in knowing compensation for others at the same level/type of work. Why do people think this? I’m genuinely curious.

  14. Need a dress

    I’m on the hunt for a fancy but understated plus-size dress for a gala that will take place on Valentine’s Day night. Not everyone will be able to afford to get very dressed up, and some people will really pull out all the stops, so it will be a hodgepodge. For me, I would like to find something that makes me feel confident and not constrained. I’m curvy, size 18W or 20W, and do well with a fit-and-flare silhouette that hits around the knee, and I tend to like darker colors. I’m 50 but most people guess me around 33, and I’m probably aiming for a look that would fit a 40-year-old. Any recommendations would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

  15. anonchicago

    Thoughts on job searching if you may have to take a pay cut?

    I work for a large consulting firm now and am looking to take an “in house” role. I’ve had several first round interviews and what I’m seeing is that I may be able to replicate the total combo or take a $10-20k pay cut. My husband is not very supportive of this even though we save most of my income.

    I see my time in consulting as similar to big law in that I’ve been saving as much as I can, knowing I don’t want this lifestyle forever. My husband sees me waking up at 4am to get on planes, dealing with a medical issue that I can’t treat in a timely manner because it’s impossible to schedule doctors appointments around meetings and work travel, and sees me coming home stressed out, but I think he’s concerned about me leaving this great on paper job for something that doesn’t pay as well. I’d happily take a $10-20k pay cut to leave work at 6 and be able to plan a vacation without being interrupted and being able to make concrete plans during the week and weekend.

    Am I being unreasonable? Anyone here navigated a pay cut for better WLB?

    • Anon

      How much of an impact to your lifestyle would this pay cut result in? What are the risk factors with the job itself and the pay cut? Will it interfere with paying for necessities and savings? Or it will only affect some discretionary expenses? While yes, 10k is not chump change, after tax it’s only 6k or so? And you know what they say about time is money. You can always earn more money but you can’t get any of your time back. What’s your time worth to you? Does your life depend on this 6k? Why does your husband prefer 6k over your health and happiness? What does looking great on paper have anything to do with anything? All that means is that it’s actually not great and he should get with the program. What exactly are his concerns? Job stability? Future career prospects? I know in marriage you’re supposed to make decisions together but unless the job change drastically affects your household, e.g. relocating, staying home with no 2nd income stream, staying home to develop the next big app, taking on a risky start up, then he is being unreasonable to tie you to a job you don’t want.

    • Hu

      I took a $15k paycut last year going from contractor to gov. employee and yes it stung (mainly my ego because it felt like such a setback) but was worth it for various reasons. I’m sorry your husband isn’t supportive, frankly he sounds like an ass.

      • Anonnz

        This sounds like you are me! I did the same thing about 1.5 years ago – contractor to government, while moving cities where pay is generally 1/3 lower than the big city. Yes the ego burn is a thing and continues, but I only stayed a year in the lower paying job. A recent move within my new organization has put me almost back to where I was salary wise with a great title and coworkers. Now have a better overall benefits package, next to zero commute, and a slew of other intangibles.

    • Aschu

      Hi,
      I just did this. I work in media sales, which is dominated by people under 35.i am 57. I try and look “current” and polished, but it’s hard in this industry for people my age I ve had a very successful career, but found it difficult to find a new role after being downsized. I accepted a job close to home ( in the Chicago burbs!) And I have never been happier. The company is a traditional media company with people of all ages. I come in at 8:30 and leave at 5:00. The work is interesting and challenging. I thought I would miss the prestige of working for a “name”media company but I don’t. I took a 20k pay cut and that has been a bit rough with 2 kids in college, but we are doing it. My WLB is great. This wasn’t where I saw my career going, but at this stage in life when I’m no longer trying to climb the corporate ladder, it is working for me. I support your choice if it is possible financially. We want to “work to live” not “live to work”. Good luck!

    • Anon

      it all depends on your goals and priorities. Jobs like consulting or big law were never even on my radar because I knew it wasn’t the lifestyle I wanted even with a high salary. Some people value money over free time, but my free time is way more important to me. There’s no right or wrong. It’s about your preference and lifestyle. The only thing that concerns me is you husband not supporting you. Unless you have financial concerns, your happiness should be more important than an extra $20k.

    • Texan In Exile

      I am perfectly willing to take less money to have less drama and less stress! I am looking for a new job now (my position was eliminated in a re-org in Dec) and had this conversation yesterday in an interview. I told the recruiter I would take a huge pay cut to work for a great cause and that I would take somewhat of a pay cut just to be in a stable work environment where I wouldn’t have four bosses in nine months.

    • Anon

      Your husband sounds like an a$$. People take paycuts like this (or bigger) all the time for work life balance. At my Big Law firm it was pretty common for sixth to eighth years making ~$300k-350k (depending on bonus) to move to in-house jobs making $150-200k…now, often those moves came with a geographic move to a lower cost of living city, so it wasn’t like taking a 50% paycut while living in NYC. But still. It’s a much bigger paycut than what you’re describing. The whole point of these crazy jobs like Big Law and Big Consulting is that they let you pay off you loans quickly and put you in the financial position to spend the rest of your working life in a job that isn’t as lucrative but will give you much better work-life balance.
      And your health issues make it even more important for you to do this. Health should always come first.

      • The original Scarlett

        +1 – also, 10-20k if you’re making consulting money in the first place probably isn’t that much anyway, I’d take a much bigger cut to get my life back in your shoes

    • Anon

      I took a 60% pay cut when I left big law for the government.I don’t regret it for a minute. There’s nothing like having my nights and weekends free to enjoy life and participate in activities I never had time for before.

    • Anonymous

      He sees you working awful hours and neglecting a medical condition because of your job, and his reaction is to fuss because you’re taking a slight pay cut that it appears you can comfortably absorb? And he’s making YOU doubt whether this is a good idea?

  16. Ness

    Going to Peru in May 20 days.
    I have already booked the Camino Inca for 4 days and I know I want to explore Cuzco, Valle Sagrado, Titicaca, Colca and Arequipa. Not feeling atracted by the Paracas-Nazca thing. I will have 5-6 days more at the begining of the trip and I am thinking in the north. Anyone have been in Trujillo and/or Huaraz? I love hiking but with 4 days in Camino Inca and 3 days in Colca canyon not so sure about that.
    BTW, trying to find older posts regarding the subjet but if I writte Peru it will come up all the “peruse” posts :(
    what am I doing wrong?

    • Texan In Exile

      You could also go south – take the train from Cusco to Puno and then go to Lake Titicaca and stay on one of the islands. The train ride is stunningly beautiful: high mountain terrain with this beautiful golden light.

    • Curious

      We did not go north. I’m not sure if this is feasible, but one thing you might consider is giving yourself more rest time at altitude in Cuzco. We had to cut our hike short and cancel the Sacred Valley tour (which was so long! Like 16 hour day!) because my husband got a stomach bug and was very affected by the altitude, and then even two days of trekking at altitude truly wiped us out. We would have liked to stay longer at Macchu Picchu or even go in on two different days (it’s extraordinary and we wanted to be able to just sit and soak it in), rest and enjoy the bohemian neighborhood in Cuzco a bit more, maybe split up the Sacred Valley tour. Also — we loved Vamos Expeditions and would happily have spent more time with their guides in the Cuzco area — great Quichua people deeply rooted in their cultural traditions and working to preserve the ecology of the area. Edson was particularly great. His # if you want to WhatsApp him is +51 987 832 933; tell him the gringos problemáticos from Seattle sent you. Actually, that might be another option. He is from the jungle near Cuzco and takes folks on tours there. He finds the best coffee and yuca! Best meal of our trip.

  17. Nancy

    Help please. Received a new Amazon Fire HD 10 for Xmas. Interested in getting a case that includes a bluetooth keyboard. First one I ordered from Amazon was defective and returned. No one seems to carry in store so need to order again from Amazon but its overwhelming…so many brands/types. Can anyone recommend one they have used and been happy with? Thanks in advance.

  18. Rhinoplasty poster

    I posted yesterday about wanting rhinoplasty and DH objecting to it. I want to clarify, DH’s issue isn’t risk or cost. It’s because he likes how my nose looks and it bothers him that I want to change it.

    • Anon

      I can understand how this situation would be complicated. I like the idea that some people floated about asking him to accompany you to the consultation(s). Maybe doing that will help clarify the before/after look that you’ll have. And maybe that, in tur, will move both of you to a similar way of thinking about whether to do the procedure, or maybe it won’t, but I think it gives you both the information and a basis for thoughtful conversations with each other.

      Good luck. Let us know how this goes.

  19. Anonymous

    Anyone want to share their Rothy’s code? Think I’m about to get my first pair. Also, anyone have thoughts on the point versus round toe, for people with wide feet? Thanks!

    • VeganJo

      My feet are on the slightly wide side, and I feel like the points and flats are both super flattering, but the loafers sometimes run a bit tighter across the top of the foot. I know some ladies feel less comfortable in the points with wide feet – I think YMMV and you just have to try them. Definitely size up – I’m a street size 7 and wear an 8 in the flats and either an 8 or 8.5 in the points.

      Here’s my code! https://share.rothys.com/x/zcZ4rv

    • Anonymous

      The front of my foot is wide but I have narrow heels. I found the round toe more comfortable but I still like the look of the point better. I usually wear size 8, that’s my size in the round, and I sized up to 8.5 in the point. https://share.rothys.com/x/vIyNPZ

    • Anonome

      I have triangle feet (slim heel, very wide toe box with pronounced bunions) and I ordered a full size larger than my usual in the point. I usually order a wide shoe when available, but sizing up +1 was sufficient for comfort, since the plastic material is very flexible.

Back to Top

About

Work with Corporette®

Serious Stuff

work fashion blog press mentions