What Do You Know About Perimenopause?
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Today we thought we'd ask readers of all ages: “What do you know about perimenopause?”
According to The New York Times‘ recent article “Why is Perimenopause Such a Mystery,” many people have heard of menopause, defined as the year after your last period (followed by postmenopause), but not perimenopause, which can start as early as your mid-30s and include a ton of symptoms. (The average age of menopause is 51.)
An excerpt from the NYT story:
There are four symptoms of perimenopause that are most common: hot flashes, sleep disruption, depression and vaginal dryness, known as “the core four” among menopause experts. But the full panoply of symptoms related to the perimenopause transition “is not yet known with any great degree of certainty,” said Dr. Nanette Santoro, the chair of obstetrics and gynecology at the University of Colorado School of Medicine. At this point, the perimenopausal period is associated with as many as 34 different maladies ranging from hair loss to “burning mouth syndrome,” which is a tingling or numb feeling in your lips, gums and tongue.
In other words, as one friend said: Welcome to the fun stage of life where pretty much any ache or pain you experience, if Googled alongside the word “perimenopause,” will take you to an article about how it's a symptom.
{related: how to investigate when you're exhausted and have no energy}
(Side note: There's a really interesting anecdote at the beginning of the NYT article about a woman who “tries to be vocal about her ‘peri-brain'” at the office,” which we'd love readers' thoughts on…)
Perimenopause and menopause have made lots of headlines in 2021, which is a welcome change! Like menstruation, it's a topic that's not exactly discussed openly in the U.S. (Don't you love how pads and tampons are still referred to as “sanitary products” or “feminine items”? Plus, 30 states still charge “the tampon tax.”) A few recent articles include “We Need to Know How Menopause Changes Women’s Brains” (NYT), “The $10 Billion Business of Perimenopause” (Fast Company), and “‘My Bosses Were Happy to Destroy Me — The Women Forced Out of Work by Menopause” (The Guardian). We've been sharing a few in our weekly news posts, so stay tuned for more.
{related: the best alternative products for your period (particularly great if you're getting irregular periods… a perimenopause symptom)}
Two new books about menopause got some attention this year, too: What Fresh Hell Is This: Perimenopause, Menopause, Other Indignities, and You by Heather Corinna, and The Menopause Manifesto: Own Your Health with Facts and Feminism by Dr. Jen Gunter [affiliate links]. (Btw, Dr. Gunter is great to follow on Twitter!) I have both books in my Kindle app and will hopefully get to them before I enter perimenopause… Actually, if there's interest from readers, I'll prioritize reading them and share my reviews!
Here are some questions to kick off a discussion today:
Have you asked your OB/GYN about perimenopause? At my last exam, I asked a bunch of questions, hurriedly typing the answers into my Notes app once I got back in the car. One thing my doctor pointed out is that there's no “perimenopause test” that can confirm you've started that stage.
Have older female friends or relatives ever talked to you about perimenopause/menopause? Did your mom share any of her experiences with you, for example?
For readers close to perimenopause age: What resources have you found helpful so far? The Facebook group Perimenopause Hell has 26,000 members; The North American Menopause Society offers “Menopause 101: A primer for the perimenopausal“; and there are also helpful menopause apps out there like Caria and others.
{related: We've covered a few products for hot flashes in the past, including Hot Girl Pearls, Soma's Cool Nights pajamas, and the chiliPAD}
Stock vector (woman in cubicle experiencing a hot flash) via Deposit Photos / cteconsulting.
Thank you for this post. I am 48 and starting to experience irregular periods. I recently purchased Knix underwear and wearing them really helps with my peace of mind, plus they are really comfy and feel silky!
I just started hearing about it recently! My mom and grandma both went thru early menopause for medical reasons (fad diet, chemotherapy) in their late 40s so it’s interesting how my own body is changing as I’m 46. Been getting my period since I was 11.
Modern medicine is almost miraculous with what it can do to improve health, reduce suffering, and improve quality of life. However, that is largely absent in improving menopause for women.
It’s not specific to menopause. In general, women’s health issues are ignored and minimized.
I’m 36 and when I saw a doctor for insomnia early this year she told me it was probably perimenopause. It was a shock because I conceived a healthy baby after a single encounter about two years ago, so I was (until recently, anyway) super fertile. I still have regular, totally normal periods and no other symptoms because the insomnia. My doctor said the perimenopause stage might last a decade or more.
Fun fact: I was having hot flashes for years without knowing what they were. My skin is really sensitive, and when my face would suddenly feel hot and flush red, I thought it was sensitivity and maybe rosacea. Then I read Jen Gunter’s description of hot flashes and it all clicked into place. I highly recommend her books for perimenopause and all women’s health issues.
My mother went through surgical menopause at 46, so I didn’t have anything to gauge my experience. I’m 51, have been menstruating since I was 9 (almost 10, but still!), and my periods have been increasingly irregular and HEAVY for about 3 years now. I use the Clue app to track periods and symptoms. I’ve talked about it with my doctor once, and next time I go in, I’m going to bring up hormone therapy, because the hot flashes are more regular now, and I hate them.
I’m hoping I’m nearing the finish line, but older women I talk to say it will likely still be a while. For me, talking to older women has been the best source of intel.
I want to thank the corporette commentariat this summer for even knowing that thks is a thing.
I have read that menopause bible and feel prepared – also for conversations with others – on a wholly different level. My mom had a cancer related early mp and died before I could get info, and I feel that Corporette is my main source of diverse experiences.
I’m 54 and experiencing perimenopause right now and have been for several years. Maddeningly, that term (as distinct from menopause) was unknown to me until very recently. It should all be included in regular sex education. Did my mom say one single word about this or warn me that this was coming? No. I learned about it mainly from other women friends who started experiencing it a few years before I did. My symptoms have included: (1) really heavy periods (someone on some other site called them “crime scene periods” and I wish I had thought of that); (2) very irregular periods; (3) hot flashes bad enough to disrupt sleep, which is not sustainable; (4) swelling of the breast tissue. Luckily I met with a very knowledgeable nurse practitioner who told me that non-hormonal treatments exist. (Again, why is this not more generally known?) I’m trying one of them now (a drug called gabapentin, which is usually prescribed to treat nerve disorders). So far it has been effective, but if the hot flashes return I will be trying hormone therapy for sure. You might be interested to know that hot flashes at their worst can be as frequent as every 15 minutes. Also, they come and go in waves. For example, you might have them for a couple of months, then they might go away for several months (I once had almost a year gap in between) and come back for another couple of months, etc. The whole experience completely and totally sucks, and if I dwell on it too much I get really angry about the fact that when I was younger, no teacher, no parent, no one close to me said one word about what was coming. Be warned. It could happen to you. The intensity of the symptoms varies from person to person, but more than one of my friends have had it even worse than I have.