Coffee Break: 14K Yellow Gold & Cultured Freshwater Pearl Earrings

These teeny-tiny pearl earrings make me squee — I just really like them. I’m usually not a fan of post earrings, but I think these are so cute and I like the small, dainty pearls. They seem like a fun little earring that’d be a good basic to have in your wardrobe. The earrings are $150 at Bloomingdale’s. 14K Yellow Gold & Cultured Freshwater Pearl Huggie Earrings

Here are a few lower-priced options: two at Etsy and one at Kohl’s.

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  1. I’m being driven crazy by background noise in my office and was finally driven to order a pair of noise cancelling headphones this morning. This pair (the Wirecutter’s recommended pair) seems to be $100 cheaper than usual on Amazon today, in case anyone else is in the market.

  2. A jewelry post seems like the perfect place to ask this!

    I have a couple very nice estate pieces (main one is an 8ct amethyst ring with an Art Deco setting) that I no longer want. Is there somewhere online (like a jewelry focused Poshmark) I can sell this type of thing? Or if I need to go local, what kind of shop do I look for?

  3. I’m wondering what ever happened with the Corpore**e who was about to go to Paris with her boyfriend when he last minute cancelled because he messed up at work so badly. Did she ever report back? I’m hoping she had a great time, without him.

    • turtletorney :

      second this! dying to know how that turned out. I hope she’s living her best life, with or without him!

      • I wonder if it’s the same person who had a break-up while she was in Paris…?

        • Anonymous :

          No, they were different. The first person had a BF bail on a planned Europe vacation w/family (not sure it was to Paris); the second person had her BF tag along on a business trip to Paris and they unexpectedly broke up while they were there. I’m curious about both though!

          • Paris Break-Up Anon :

            Hi! I was the one whose relationship ended in Paris. I survived the trip and I’m glad I toughed it out. It wasn’t always fun, but looking back on it even a few weeks later I remember much more the things I dragged myself out to do than the negative feelings of the break-up. While it was hard, in some ways it made the break-up easier because I mostly processed it in Paris and came home fully ready to move on.

          • Rainbow Hair :

            I’m glad it was at least partially positive! And that you got to make some good solo memories in Paris!

          • Anonymous :

            @Paris Break-Up Anon – I bet you kicked @ s s at the conference too!

          • Good for you, Paris Break-up Anon. I’m glad you’re moving on.

        • January, they were different peeople. The woman whose boyfreind left her in Paris must have been very strong. If that had hapened to me, I would have found succor in the arms of the first man who ooogled me over there. Even when I dumped Sheketovits, I still mourned the loss, and am ashamed to admit, allowed another man to do far more then he EVER would have been able to do in regular circumstances, and that all happened on my home ground (NY City). If it were Paris, who knows what kind of situeation I would have gotten myself into. FOOEY!

  4. These are teeny tiny for $150. I mean, for less money (/‘d a holiday discount on top) Kojima has these

    • Anonymous :

      I agree — for freshwater, I’d expect a giant baroque one for this $.

    • Pearl Paradise has much cuter button pearl studs with drops for about $60. Much better quality.

      • S in Chicago :

        Have you purchased from them? Were you pleased? I don’t usually like to buy jewelry online. But some of their earrings are just gorgeous. Such unique settings. Going on my “splurging for myself after Christmas when our bonus comes in” list.

        • I haven’t (I’m pretty loyal to Kojima) but it is a reputable place and you really can’t go wrong there. Sign up for their emails to get a discount code.

        • I have not pulled the trigger yet, but I have earrings in my cart there. I spend a decent amount of time on Pricescope and the pearl section there has all good stuff to say.

  5. If Only... :

    As a single childfree woman, I have attended many wedding showers, bachelorette events, weddings, baby showers, and sip and sees. I wish there was a celebration for women hitting other kinds of milestones. I want a party or presents for leaving and staying out of a toxic relationship or finally cutting out that horrible relative who always made me feel awful about myself or even career milestones that feel big but don’t come with raises or new titles.

    Why is this not a thing?

    • Throw yourself an awesome party, for any reason or no reason at all!

      And as a married mother, I think we should do away with all the showers and bachelor e t t e events. They are awful.

    • Anonymous :

      Cue Carrie Bradshaw in the A Woman’s Gift of Shoes episode

      • And the sad thing…. even in that episode she was not receiving a gift… really. Her lame friend was just replacing Carrie’s incredibly expensive shoes that were stolen while she was a guest at the friend’s house.

    • Anonymous :

      There was literally an entire episode of S*x and the City about this.

    • Anonymous :

      This might not be a popular opinion, but I wouldn’t really want to go to a “Yay, I got out of a toxic relationship” party. I like celebrating happy things. I agree that it shouldn’t be limited to marriage/babies, and I’d be glad to go to a party for a friend who got a promotion or bought a house or paid off student loans (the last one is a little tacky maybe, but I wouldn’t balk if it was a good friend and I knew she’d worked hard to pay them off). But the “I dodged a bullet” party just seems like kind of a downer to me, sorry.

      • I absolutely would go to a good friend’s student loan pay off party. But I would find it tacky to be invited to one for somebody outside of my immediate circle.

      • ““Yay, I got out of a toxic relationship” party. I like celebrating happy things. ”

        ……….this is a happy thing.

        Glad you’re not my friend. I’d hate if I asked you for emotional support while I was in or recovering from an abusive relationship and you called me a downer. I think anyone who has been involved in a toxic or abusive relationship knows getting out of one is much more complex than dodging a bullet. It’s like recovering from having a bullet dislodged from your femoral artery before it gets to your heart. Dodging a bullet is declining a second date from a guy who gave you bad vibes only to later find out he hit the woman he started dating later.

        • Anonymous :

          You can emotionally support your friend without having to get dressed up, buy a gift, and give up a weekend afternoon (or an entire weekend, depending on how far away you live) to play silly games with a bunch of people you don’t know that well. It’s an obligatory (I know, I know – an inivitation is not a summons, but weddings and baby showers are basically mandatory for close friends) shower-type party for this kind of thing that I object to, not being there for a friend as they deal with the actual situation. I don’t particularly enjoy wedding or baby showers either, but at least there is a happy event to celebrate that serves as a distraction from the less enjoyable aspects of the party. Of course if a friend just ended a bad relationship and texted me “come drink wine and eat cheese and cheer me up” I would go in a heartbeat. But that’s totally different than a formal party.

          • What games would you expect to find at a “I got out of a toxic relationship” party? Pin the restraining order on the a**hole? Emotional Abuse Phrase Bingo?

        • Anonymous :

          Straw man much?

    • Lana Del Raygun :

      Without a demand for presents, you can absolutely throw yourself a party like that! (No one should be throwing showers for themselves, or even for their family members.) I agree they should be more of a Thing, and if you feel weird just doing it without the social precedent, I think “I got promoted and I want to have you people over to celebrate” feels more natural than “I’m having a Promotion Party.” But you may be overestimating how hard it would be for this sort of thing to gain traction–if one of my friends said she was having a party to celebrate getting out of a toxic relationship, I would cancel all my other plans to be there.

    • Senior Attorney :

      I actually went to a divorce party once, many many years ago (like, back in the late 80s or early 90s). The “entertainment” was a professor of women’s studies from a local university who did some kind of presentation about… I’m not sure what but it was empowering and divorce-related and there was fine and food and it was great.

      • Senior Attorney :

        Heh. Wine and food.

      • Blonde Lawyer :

        My friend’s ex got the house and a lot of the stuff in it. While we were out shopping for dishes, glass, pots and pans – basic kitchen stuff, we realized there should be a divorce registry and divorce parties.

      • Anonymous :

        My friend and I celebrate her divorce every year. She called it her “un-niversary”.

    • Anonymous :

      I had a couch warming party when I bought Grown Up Furniture for the first time. It was really just an excuse to have a party and definitely no gifts were expected or given.

    • I gave my assistant a bottle of champagne when her divorce was finalized. She had already moved on and was in another relationship, and seemed to have a celebratory attitude, so I embraced it.

      • Senior Attorney :

        Now that you mention it, I invited my colleagues out for drinks on the day my divorce was finalized. It was also the day my son got a long-awaited promotion in the U.S. Marine Corps so it was, like, the best day ever!

    • If you want a party throw yourself a party! Personally I think of planning parties and being the center of attention at showers as a form of punishment and gladly accept not having to do these things in return for living in sin with my SO.

      I also decline invitations of all kinds to any events where I’m socially obligated to purchase gifts if they come from people I’m not close enough to to be happy to buy them a gift to celebrate the thing they’re celebrating.

    • Lana Del Raygun :

      Hey I know this is late but Miss Manners just answered a similar question!

      • Lana Del Raygun :

  6. How is this confusing? :

    So sick of seeing good men talk about how tough it can be for some to know whether it’s okay to ask a woman out. How can they not see the difference between an unwanted ask for a date and showing a woman your bits or locking her in a room or car?

    • Anonymous :

      Maybe caution is a good thing?

      But some people see shades of gray as “IDK, so no”

      I used to have a rule against dating coworkers, not for any harassment issues just b/c the breakup would be maybe forever drama. In my 20s, maybe it was good. In my 30s, I trusted my judgment more.

      Some people need rules and get nervous without them.

    • Anonymous :

      Eh, if the woman in question is a co-worker and especially if she’s a subordinate, I think an abundance of caution is probably a good thing. If you’re talking about asking out a random woman you meet in a bar or through friends then the fact that you don’t work together makes it pretty easy to differentiate that situation from all the work harassment situations in the news lately.

    • I have never, ever been confused about whether someone was being lecherous or was engaging in well meaning flirtation, and I don’t think I’m alone in that. It seems to me that if a man is confused about this, he might be part of the problem.
      Also, my advice to men would be, “USE YOUR EFFING WORDS.” Often the easiest way to deal with a difficult situation is to just name it. “I am not sure how to approach this because I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable or unsafe, but I am interested in getting to know you better.”

  7. Dress alterations yourself :

    Ordered a dress for an event tomorrow night and it’s big in the waist. There are sequins all over and the material is stretchy so I might…(gulp)…attempt taking in the waist on my own. Has anyone ever done this? Suggestions for what to do or avoid? What I need is the equivalent of safety pinning either side, but I think safety pins would show. I don’t really have another dress option I love so clearly I’m willing to go to great (crafty) odds to make this one work!

    • Anonymous :

      To be honest, in my experience, these kinds of last-minute DIY alterations never work out. I just don’t have the knowledge or skills to make them work.

    • Taking in stretchy or sequined fabric (much less both!) is really challenging, unless you’ve worked with those types of materials a lot and are a pretty good seamstress. I make period clothes (mostly Viking) from scratch and still failed when I tried taking in a sequined skirt.

      If the waist is truly the only part that’s big, it will be a tough DIY, since taking in only the middle will likely cause the dress to pull or pucker. Can you add a belt of some sort, like in satin?

    • Agree with other posters that this is WAY harder than you may think. Stretchy + sequins is very hard. One thing you might try as a step up from safety pins is this: pin the part you want to take in on the inside of the skirt. Then take some needle and thread and sew where you pinned by hand. You’ll end up with 2 folds of fabric on the inside of your skirt, which may or may not be okay if the sequins are really big. But, this way, you can take the stitches out easily if it doesn’t work and you don’t have to deal with altering the actual seams of the skirt.

      • Be really careful if you try this – you are likely to sew through some of the sequins, which will be super visible if the sewing attempt doesn’t work.

    • Anonymous :

      If it’s sequins everywhere, I probably wouldn’t sew it unless you wanted to completely rip it apart and set the seam in a bit. Maybe you could pin the inside, along the seams?

    • Anonymous :

      i think you are much better off just belting

  8. I’m in my 20s and have shingles :/ Any advice on how to feel better? Be I’m trying to take as little time off as possible.

    • If you haven’t gone to the doctor for meds, go. Mine put me on steroids and an anti-viral. Those actually made me feel pretty wretched, but it was better than running the risk of lingering side effects. I worked from home during the first week. I’d feel pretty good in the morning and need a nap in the afternoon. Getting rest helped. I also used OTC pain relievers and calamine lotion on the rash. The pain was mostly gone after 10 days, but the lingering fatigue lasted for a couple of weeks. I didn’t need naps after the first week.
      Hopefully you have a mild case and recover quickly.

    • Anonymous :

      Have you gotten an antiviral? That’s what worked for me.

      • Yes. And I have some strong pain killers to help me sleep, but I can’t drive while taking them, so I can’t really use the them during the day. I’ve cover everything in lidocaine cream but I’m miserable. Especially when things get slow at work

        • Not medical advice and of course talk to your doctor, but I’ve worked on 2 different “don’t drive on these” drugs by taking them after I get to work. They’ve worn off enough by the time I get to go home 10 hours later. I felt somewhat drowsy but not as knocked out as I expected, likely cause the drug was busy killing my pain.

          • I’d be worried that my car insurance would be less than impressed if I drove after taking drugs with that kind of warning on. What if you did get into an accident?

    • Anonymous :

      I had shingles in my early 20s for no apparent reason. I had a mild case (I think), but I went about my normal activities basically. I had blisters on my torso and it hurt if anything brushed up against them, so I covered them loosely with gauze, but that’s about it.

    • Anonymous :

      I had them in my 20s (around 3L spring law school finals time when I was graduating with no job…yup, they’re brought on by stress). I had a mild case (itchiness but no pain). I didn’t take any medicines, did my best not to scratch and I recovered pretty quickly. I wasn’t working a traditional 9-5 job but I don’t think I missed any school.

    • Take the time off and rest. Your immune system needs the break and will hopefully result in a faster recovery. Also, are you sure you’re not contagious? I thought those who hadn’t had chicken pox (maybe just the immune suppressed?) could get chicken pox from exposure. A former employer sent someone home who had shingles for this reason.

      • Anonymous :

        Good points. I believe you are contagious as long as there are blisters. Reducing stress is good too

      • IANAD but when I had it, I learned that if she is being treated, then the time for it to be spread it likely over and it would require direct contact with the blisters, which are typically on one’s back and not likely to be touched directly by others.

    • Maudie Atkinson :

      I got some kind of gel that (I think?) is prescribed for burns–like lidocaine, but stronger and longer lasting. That plus gauze (like someone suggested above) gave me a lot of relief and made it so I could bear to have anything touch my skin.
      Also, Anon at 5:03 is right; even if it’s not a contagion issue, rest is so huge in getting to a faster recovery and in making sure it doesn’t spread before the antivirals have a chance to kick in.

    • the worst :

      Just commiseration. Lidocaine gel only for me because I missed the window of time in which they can prescribe the other meds. For me, days 2-5 were by far the worst, and then it quickly got much better – though lingered a little over a week and a half or two.

      Apparently there’s an uptick in 20 year olds with shingles because we were children when the chicken pox vaccine came out: so if you got chicken pox young but your friends didn’t, and then they got vaccinated, you never got the childhood exposure that never would have made you sick but would have kept your immune system robust on fighting the virus. A surprisingly high number of my friends have also had it, and in every single case it was someone who had chicken pox before the vaccine came out in 1995.

    • I had shingles the summer between 5th and 6th grade – yes, in retrospect that probably should have been a stress red flag.

      I remember taking a lot of oatmeal baths and generally being very itchy for the first few days. My memory was that I felt much better by day 5 or so. The actual rash lasted a lot longer, but eventually I just started doing stuff with gauze over it. It was long enough ago that there was some concern I would give someone the chicken pox as it was in that awkward time where the vaccine was just gaining traction, but eventually I got so bared at home I gave up my quarantine.

  9. Got my Ink & Volt planner today. :) I want to set it up, but I have a hard time thinking about big or long-term goals. It kind of depresses me.

    • Anonymous :

      Start with fun goals – like places to visit or hobbies to enjoy. For big or long-term serious goals, think of the obvious ones – retirement, health, etc. Also, use a pencil! :)

    • Baconpancakes :

      I tried so hard to love that planner, but I felt like I just didn’t have enough goals to fill it up!

    • Anyone really love this planner? Thinking about getting it for someone as a gift. Seems like a lot to spend….but talk me into it :)

      • I’m not familiar with this one, but I am a planner person in general & as a result, I’m super picky about them & wouldn’t want one as a gift unless I picked it out myself.

    • wildkitten :

      I brainstorm A LOT of goals and then narrow it down to the most important ones. I find that easier than trying to come up with the best ideas up front.

    • This is the kind of thing that would almost immediately make me feel guilty because I wasn’t reaching whatever goals I’d set for the year/month/day/hour/whatever. Why do we have to constantly be improving ourselves??

      • Sloan Sabbith :

        I will say that I am a goal oriented/action plan driven person. It’s…kind of a running joke at both work and in my personal life how much I love checklists and spreadsheets. So this planner spoke to me in a way many office products do not (I have also been trying to find THE planner for years, maybe this is it?), and I am an office product aficionado. But I do think it requires a certain thinking process for it to work- not that other ways are bad, of course, just the way some people think is more suited to this.

    • New Tampanian :

      I wish it were larger. My handwriting is NOT small.

    • Sloan Sabbith :

      got mine Tuesday- so glad you asked this!

  10. Anonymous :

    I loved the Raw Spice Bar subscription gift recommendation in yesterday’s comments and will probably order it for my father-in-law. What other fun, non-traditional, or consumable gift subscriptions are out there?

    • Beanbox has pretty good coffee. There are also lots of hot sauce of the month type clubs, but I’ve never tried. I once gifted someone a syrup subscription and they were very happy. I can’t recall the name but it was something based in Alaska and had flavors like cherry, etc. Great gift for the pancake lovers in your life.

      • Just googled and I think the syrup company is called BirchBoy and they still do syrup of the month but it’s not the easiest website to navigate.

    • Rancho Gordo Bean Club! It’s awesome and it’s really easy to try new beans. They’re so much more delicious than grocery store beans. And there’s a nerdy but fun Facebook group for members.

      • Thank you for this! I may gift it to myself and my BFF. Huge fan but never knew about the club.

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