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While we've published past posts sharing individual experiences with plastic surgery such as rhinoplasty and breast reductions, as well as non-invasive procedures like Botox, microblading (a guest poster), and laser hair removal (Kat and two friends, plus an open thread), we've never had a general open thread about plastic surgery. Let's do one today! What are your thoughts about plastic surgery in general? Is a particular one popular among your friends? Have you had, or considered, plastic surgery? If you've had plastic surgery, how have you handled it at the office in terms of time away / changed appearance?
The pandemic undoubtedly led to a huge uptick in plastic surgery procedures, in part because staring at ourselves on Zoom for hours typically didn't spark an ego boost (even with the distractions of those fun Zoom backgrounds we were using). Working from home made recovery from plastic surgery easier and potentially more discreet, too.
In 2022, the American Society of Plastic Surgeons released a report with these stats:
Member surgeons nationwide and found more than three-quarters of cosmetic-focused plastic surgery practices are seeing more business than before the pandemic, with nearly 30 percent reporting their business has at least doubled.
Doubled!
Here's one more excerpt:
The survey also found that women between the ages of 31 and 45 were by far the most likely to request popular procedures such as breast augmentations, liposuction and tummy tucks. … [M]illennials are not only savvy about their options, but are also more open about their choice to seek plastic surgery than older generations.
In the comments on last year's “aging intentionally” post, which was more about “minor” procedures such as Dysport/Botox (young women getting “preventative Botox” is a whole other story!), and on other posts, readers have discussed their myriad thoughts on plastic surgery.
Let's consolidate that discussion today — and here are some questions to kick it off:
1. What do you think about plastic surgery in general — for you, and for others? (That could be either for women / feminine-presenting people specifically, or for any gender.)
2. Do you notice a specific age/generation of your friends (and others) deciding to get plastic surgery? Does a specific surgery seem particularly popular among them?
3. Have you had, or considered, plastic surgery? What kind, how many procedures, and what were the results?
4. If you've had plastic surgery, how have you handled it at the office in terms of time away / changed appearance?
Marketiere
I don’t have strong opinions about plastic surgery, and I don’t have any now or planned for myself. What I am curious about is if as many people are taking semiglutide for weight loss as my Inst*gram account would lead me to believe? Is this just what people are doing now? Or just influencers?
Anonymous
This is a pretty offensive question. Why do you care? Why are you likening taking a weight loss drug to plastic surgery. Many of us yes are taking these drugs because we have a medical condition we are treating.
Anon
For a while not everyone who needed it could get it, but hopefully the many, MANY people for whom it’s medically indicated are accessing it as the manufacturers make more.
I saw an old paper discovering that some ubiquitous chemicals actually suppress endogenous GLP-1 production. It would be ironic if corporations managed to lower people’s GLP-1 and then sell it back to them, but if people need it, they need it.
Anonymous
Yeah I know a lot of IRL people who are taking it, none of which have diabetes, it’s just for weight loss. I’m happy they’re happy I guess but I personally don’t think the risk is worth it
Anonymous
The risk of taking the drug is less than the risk of me living a life of obesity. As with much of medicine, it’s an analysis of relative risk taking.
I’m willing to take the risk of using a medication for life in exchange for gaining back my mental and physical health… and I really want to emphasize the mental health, because that’s not talked about enough in the context of the success stories of these medications. I’ve starved myself skinny before and the quality of life I had in a size 4/6 is vastly, vastly better than the quality of life I had at my size before I started the GLP1.
Plus, despite what many think, it’s been around for 20 years so it’s not a new drug with unknown possible side effects/outcomes. It’s very well studied so accepting the risks is an acceptance of the known, not the unknown.
Housecounsel
Thank you, Anonymous at 1:53.
anon
To equate semiglutide usage with plastic surgery is horribly uninformed, willfully ignorant and personally offensive. There are absolutely people abusing it, using it for a quick 10 lb weight loss and not under the supervision of a QUALIFIED medical professional, but this medication will likely add years to my life. Walk a mile in my shoes and then I’d be glad to have a thoughtful, informative conversation with you. Until then I have no more energy for you.
Anon
To equate semiglutide usage with plastic surgery is horribly uninformed, willfully ignorant and personally offensive. There are absolutely people abusing it, using it for a quick 10 lb weight loss and not under the supervision of a QUALIFIED medical professional, but this medication will likely add years to my life. Walk a mile in my shoes and then I’d be glad to have a thoughtful, informative conversation with you. Until then I have no more energy for you.
anon
agreed though i read the prompt as meaning cosmetic/discretionary surgeries and not, say burn victims, cleft palates, etc.
Anon
same
Anon
i’m not the OP, but totally agree that there are many people who do need it…but also many people like my SIL who used it to lose weight for her wedding, with it being prescribed by my father in law who is an orthopedist and has no business prescribing such meds. i am very very anti med spas. particularly if more people using these things is preventing people who need it from accessing it.
Anon
If med spas are using compounded product, isn’t that actually helping with the supply issues?
Kids with genetic and endocrine conditions are going without HGH because of manufacturers switching over to these meds, so I understand there’s been a rocky start to their availability.
Anonymous
Good lord, calm down. Your response is over the top and is the only “offensive” part of this chain. Some surgeries are medically necessary, and some are for cosmetic reasons. Some medication is medically necessary to treat health conditions and now that same medication is being used by some people for cosmetic reasons. It’s a fair and interesting question. Sheesh.
Anon
Agree. I feel bad for the person who wrote the rather benign comment and just got landed on like this.
Anonymous
You seem to have plenty of energy to rage at people who use plastic surgery, rather than semaglutides, to change their appearance. Very weird!
anon
I had a double masectomy and had implants after which is clearly plastic surgeon but frankly not what i think we’re talking about. i have never had anything else. I think it’s not a moral issue, if you can afford it and want it you do you but i’m not interested: 1) is it seems to me woman of a certain age who have had surgery look like woman of a certain who have had surgery, they don’t look like younger woman; 2) no one looks awful looking their age, people with bad plastic surgery can really look awful; 3) the expense, the risk it’s just isn’t worth it to me.
JD
Thanks for sharing. My mother had a double masectomy and implants, but debated them since she was in her 70s. She had a really rough recovery. The implant recovery was worse (with expanders) than the removal. I actually suggested that she consider getting the implants when she was debating them as I know that she values physical appearance. At least implants were in her control, but it was a trivial process or decision. I know that she’ll feel young for at least another decade, and I know for her that not having breasts would have bothered her. Other women may be comfortable without reconstruction.
She had originally gotten implants after my parents’ divorce (in reaction to low esteem related to my dad cheating) and removed them in the breast cancer scare back in the day. I don’t consider these to be trivial decisions or surgeries, but also believe people should do what they like with their bodies. For some people, surgery makes them very happy and I think it makes a lot of sense after nonconsensual body happenings like cancer.
JD
Edit – it was NOT a trivial process or decision
1hotelf
Thank you for posting this….i am struggling with this issue at 68….I’ve had my MRI and now onto to the part where you don’t think at my age it’s worth it other than to operate and save your life but yet that little piece of me still wants to feel whole if there is an after and not a shell of my former self. Subject to MRI results I have plastic surgeon apt this week. The waiting is stressful. I’ve had plenty of maxillofacial and plastic surgeries for cleft palette/TMJ deformities and had I not, I dread to think how I might not have been so independent, confident and successful in the workplace. People can be cruel lil souls. From my experience and with friends I would really caution women to review, research and go over with your doctor when it comes to augmentation under the muscle or over the muscle and how you would self exam yourself once a month. Please be specific of what your expectations are and whether or not it is a reasonable expectation for your body.
Anonymous
I always think of Kanye’s mother dying from a routine face lift (at least I think that’s how she passed) and it makes me scared to take any risks with my own family.
Honestly I kind of feel like that with the compounded GLP injections I take now. It’s like I’m risking my health just for something vain, and I should just suck it up and lose the 75-100 lbs I have to lose the old-fashioned way. (I’ve been trying to do that for 35 years with no success, though.)
Anon
Regarding your last paragraph: there is some surprising evidence about the effect of the gut microbiome on the brain and on weight. I wouldn’t be surprised if twenty years from now, that “impossible to lose 75 pounds” is fixed with tailored probiotics or other methods. We just aren’t there yet.
Anon
Yeah the risks are just too great for me to have cosmetic surgery. I’d probably feel differently if I didn’t have kids but I can’t stand the thought of leaving them motherless prematurely because I wanted to look better.
Anonymous
Also actual surgery is truly painful and expensive. Recovery can last months. I just can’t get over that part.
Anokha
This is my reason for not doing it (fear of a complication).
Anon
Same. I would get Botox and laser hair removal. But general anesthesia + risk of something going wrong with the surgery = not going to do that. Especially for surgeries done in a surgery suite and not in a hospital (e.g., Joan Rivers might have lived if she had had her last surgery at a hospital). I can have wrinkles.
anon
off the top of my head the people i know who have had plastic surgery aren’t happy with themselves globally, like the big nose or saggy boobs or hanging gut is just one way they are dissapointed with the way things have turned out.
Anon
I would worry that my body is like my house: replace the siding and then you realize that that was just what your eye was drawn to first and 50 other things are also wrong with the house and need to be fixed to make it perfect.
Anon
I once sat at a table of 30-something moms and was the only one who wasn’t planning or had already done a Mommy Makeover. I’m not judging at all, because pregnancy can do a number on your body and your confidence. It was just surprising to me.
Anon
I wish I could say I don’t judge that behavior but I do… I feel like other people doing mommy makeovers increases the pressure on everyone to look a certain way after childbirth
Anon
I feel like I can repaint a room in my house from time to time, but don’t feel pressure to have the perfect house. Ditto the body I inhabit. Not sorry that my who-ha isn’t camera-ready after a I pushed a baby through it. I feel bad for the women who feel a need to look 18 and like they haven’t lived their lives.
anonshmanon
I am similarly torn. I don’t begrudge people their pleasures and know that society still puts so much emphasis on appearance that the line between having a procedure for vanity and mental health is very blurry.
But when I go down that line of thinking, I do start to worry about the possibility that this is becoming so much the norm that little old me, with my au naturale face will be the one looking ‘wrong’ next to all the upgraded faces. The attempted rebrand from calling it plastic surgery to ‘graceful aging’ (and the author has used that tag for this article again) points in this direction for me, and I can’t stand it.
Anonymous
I don’t judge them, but I do judge all the societal (and maybe husbandly) pressure for those women to look as much as possible as if they were 20somethings who’d never given birth.
Shelle
This is exactly where I fall! Thank you for clearly articulating this. My MIL struggles with liking the shape of her abdomen and I just want to hug her and tell her 1. she’s beautiful and has a bangin body and she is my future life goals, and 2. I hate that society subtly tells her she must look like she never gave birth to her 3 kids.
Anon
I am the OP and I completely agree with you.
Anonymous
Agreed, this is the real problem. It’s funny that these expectations keep getting worse and if anything, men are supposed to start looking better as well instead of feminism helping to relax expectations over time.
Anon
I had breast augmentation in my mid 30s and love it. I’m now 50. Saline implants. They are subtle (32B) and look proportional to my frame, which is very narrow. Presurgery I had no discernible breast tissue and a pectus excavatum, where my sternum is sunken in. I was always self-conscious of my chest, especially when dating and in swimsuits. It’s given me a lot more confidence and ease with my body. I don’t think I’ll pursue other procedures. I’ve had two kids, and my belly is soft. I’m going gray naturally. But still so glad that I had augmentation, and I don’t judge anyone who wants to change their body.
Anonymous
+1 It’s strange what different things bother us. I use Botox but was ok walking around for months without a front tooth due to a bike accident.
Anonymous
I’ve not had any plastic surgery, but I do use Botox and have had a double mastectomy with reconstruction (which is absolutely NOT plastic surgery), but that said, those things as well as other invasive things I have done to improve my appearance (i.e., Lasik and removal of a large benign growth on my neck), I am definitely in the “you do you, boo” camp. These things were some of the best things I’ve done for myself.
anon
it is literally plastic surgery.
Anon
Maybe she meant “strictly cosmetic plastic surgery” vs “reconstructive plastic surgery.” IMO, insurance pays for reconstruction, just not for vanity surgeries.
Anonymous
Ok, fair. But it’s not cosmetic and the idea that it’s a “boob job” is grossly misinformed. Just like my boobs are now grossly disfigured. Don’t tell a BC survivor that they get a free boob job.
Anon
This.
Anon
I think most people put reconstructive surgery after cancer in a different category than purely cosmetic surgery.
Anon
I have surgery scheduled for late August. I gained a lot of weight when I did four rounds of IVF (thanks, hormones). I am getting lipo (tummy, flanks, overb**b), an upper blepharaplasty (I have hereditary very hooded lids) and a breast augmentation. I’ve had not-very-large b**bs my whole life. I’m 45. It’s time.
I’m excited. I want something tasteful, to make me proportional, and make me more confident.
I have friends who have gone overboard with plastic surgery. I do not want to look done at all. But I’d like to look a little younger. I don’t have any concerns about health or surgery risks. I am going to a super-well-regarded, very experienced surgeon. And I have a nurse to take care of me for 2 days afterward in a hotel.
It’s gonna be great!
Anon
Good luck- it’s going to be great! So wonderful that you will have nursing care afterwards. While my spouse is a lot of things, skilled caregiver is not one of them.
Anonymous
The anesthesia alone makes it a big nope for me.
TB
I had a breast aug very young (right after I graduated college, so I was 22ish?) and am 38 now, with two kids. At the time I certainly did not consider all the things, including the size I might want to be for the rest of my life, how culture might change what that size was (this was kind of the height of when very large breasts were in; thankfully I had enough sense not to go wild), how breastfeeding might be impacted, etc. etc., but honestly, I’ve never looked back and wished I didn’t do it. I used to obsess over size, shape, appearance, and I never think about it now. It is freeing. One day I may redo them, but even after two kids, there is no need from either an appearance or function perspective (I recently had them assessed; they are silicon, under the muscle). If I redo them, I may go slightly smaller than my current 32E, but not by much. I’m not sure I would do it again (despite what I just said about it being freeing), but that’s only because I am older now and I care less.
Sometimes I consider going in for a consult for work on my stomach after kids, but it’s really just loose skin over my belly button that I can live with; it doesn’t seem worth spending my money on.
anonn
I’m considering Morpheus 8 for my belly button skin post-kids.
Anonymous
I had rhinoplasty done when I was younger. I’m glad I did. Nobody pushed me to do it and I was never under the impression that it was the only thing between me and a successful life, I was just tired of having an inconveniently large nose that didn’t really fit the rest of my face.
I don’t think I’d ever get cosmetic surgery done now that I’m middle aged. I don’t really care if my boobs are perky or my stomach is totally flat.
Me
This is me too. I started hating my nose when I was a tween. When I turned 30, I got rhinoplasty, and I’m so happy that I did. My new nose looks much better on my face. It’s the only procedure that I’ve done and I’m now 45, and I do not intend to do anything else elective.
As much as I like the idea of facelifts, I agree with anon above that “is it seems to me woman of a certain age who have had surgery look like woman of a certain who have had surgery, they don’t look like younger woman.” So unless that technology dramatically improves, I won’t be doing that.
I think limited cosmetic plastic surgery can really improve people’s appearances and perceptions of themselves, and I say go for it. We all know or know of people who went too far and don’t look very good, and I’m not into that.
Senior Attorney
I agree with you to a point, but you don’t know who’s had surgery that you don’t know about/can’t tell. You’re only noticing the bad facelifts.
Jules
Agreed. After a music performance last year, SO and I went to the bar next to the concert hall and ended up sitting with another couple who had been there (a gay male married couple, FWIW) and chatted with them for an hour or so. One of them told me his age (mid 50s maybe) and I was shocked, he looked so much younger. He told me about his facelift and a couple of other things he had had done, and it looked incredibly natural, I never would have guessed. (He said he would be happy to give me the name of his doctor, and some days I’m sorry I didn’t ask for it.)
Anonymous
This. I had a rhinoplasty and my surgeon is an wizard who literally reconstructions jaws/faces after IEDs. I will happily tell anyone who asks who did the surgery and that I love the results but you absolutely cannot tell that I had a nose that was ‘done’. His facelifts are similarly works of art and I plan to have one in my 50s.
Housecounsel
I had rhinoplasty in my mid-thirties. I went from thinking about my nose every single day to never thinking about it. Is that vanity, or is it the opposite? It allowed me to stop obsessing.
I do not blame any woman who has plastic surgery or who takes semaglutide in order to feel comfortable in her body and the world. I feel bad for some of them, but I don’t blame or judge them.
Anonymous
This. I am on video calls every single day and I HATED my nose. Hated it. I never liked it even as a teen but staring at myself for 2 years during the pandemic really tipped the scales. The mental relief of never having to think about my nose again (except admiring it from time to time) is enormous.
Senior Attorney
I’ve had a tummy tuck, upper and lower blepheroplasty, and lower face lift. Also weight loss surgery (sleeve gastrectomy), since we’re talking smack about drastic weight loss measures. Zero regrets although I will tell you the recovery from the tummy tuck was pretty rough.
I do agree with the poster who says I think it’s weird when people go so far with the cosmetic procedures. Here in LA/OC there is a “look” that makes it very obvious that people have had a ton of work done, and I just don’t get that at all. I am often in rooms in which I quietly think to myself “good grief I have the best cosmetic surgery in this whole place!” even though I may not look like a perfect Barbie doll.
VVex
I was in LA recently at a business function and was struck by a particular “look” among women about my age (mid-50s) who undoubtedly had good luck for years with injectables and procedures–and then reached a tipping point when the results look worse than natural, instead of better.
This look is not common in my East Coast corner of the world. Plenty of women have work done, but I believe it’s relatively later and very cautiously done. Women have well-maintained gray hair here, too, which seems rare in LA.
I have not had Botox or other injectables and won’t start now. I have fair skin and have age spots “sandblasted” about every three years in one fashion or another; I plan to get some pulsed light treatments this spring.
I wish my jawline were tighter, but life goes on.
Anonymous
Can you explain a little about pulsed light treatments – what does this involve, and what will it do? I won’t go under the knife or do injections, but I do enjoy a bit of skincare to just add extra grace to gracefully aging. I’m not in my 40s and thinking about ways to step things up beyond serums and at-home peels.
Annie Q
I get IPLs to diminish my brown age spots. IPL is “intense pulsed light.” It is not painful, just a little tedious. They describe it as having a rubber band snapped against your skin. That’s about the degree of discomfort. First your brown spots darken as the pigment comes to the surface. over the course of about ten days they form tiny little dots that the estheticians accurately describe as looking like tiny coffee grounds. These eventually shed and you’re done. The procedure also diminishes rosacea. The procedure is about $400 when I buy a package.But the procedure does wonders for my too-rosy cheeks but only diminishes my age spots. It doesn’t remove them. I would love to find a procedure that removes them, even if it’s something I have to have redone periodically. Any advice?
Anon
I’m a hypochondriac, so I won’t get unnecessary procedures (including botox), but I couldn’t care less if others do.
Anon
I had a tummy tuck and b reast reduction. OMG, my body is better than ever at 43. No regrets.
Anonymous
Two of my aunts got an eyelid lift around when they turned 60, and they said it made them feel so much better. I guess saggy eyelids run in the family.
Senior Attorney
My sister in law had Medicare pay for her upper lid lift because it was actually interfering with her vision. Something to keep in mind for later, Anon at 4:29.
anon
My dad is actually getting that procedure done, for the same reason. My eyes are shaped like his and I can already tell that gravity is doing its thing, so I guess I’m going to stay open to the possibility of doing it when I’m older.
Anon
I am 53 and had a breast lift with augmentation and an upper blepharoplasty within the last year (2 months apart, specific surgeons for each). I was terrified of the breast surgery. I went to my surgeon 3 times over the course of a year before I scheduled. A big factor was my child and not wanting to leave them motherless. I figured they were in college it was time. Honestly I can’t believe I waited so long and wished I would have done it in my 30s. Recovery was thankfully painless (but limiting for awhile). I am so pleased with my proportions now that the thighs that used to bother me don’t even get a second glance. If I hadn’t told you, you wouldn’t know I had anything done (unless you saw them). I’m equally happy with the eyelids and love the subtle openness I have now. I believe finding a surgeon you trust and can communicate openly with is key.
I would never judge anyone for having surgery and certainly don’t care who does or doesn’t. I also had very open discussions with my college aged child about why I chose to have surgery.
Rachel
I think plastic surgery is great. How cool that we live in an age where if you want to fix something about yourself, and you’re willing to spend the money, you can. I’ve been getting botox and fillers regularly for years. 5 years ago I had laser hair removal (face, legs, underarms, lady bits) and life without having to shave is awesome. This year I had major plastic surgery, natural breast augmentation where the surgeon took fat from my love handles and thighs and put it in my breasts (also had some added to my lips). I’m scheduled for another round of that surgery in a month or so, this time having all the fat from my stomach removed.
How did I handle missing work? I just blocked it on my calendar and put up an out of office email response. It’s no one’s business. The change was subtle so I don’t think anyone noticed. One opposing counsel gave me grief about not responding to an email sooner, but apologized when I told him I’d had surgery.
bellatrix
In my twenties, I was fairly judgy about plastic surgery, but I realized that Accutane had been that for me — not without its risks and side effects, but transformational for my appearance, my self-image, and my mental health. I often say that it’s only a slight exaggeration to say that Accutane saved my life — but I also have a strong suspicion that it’s the reason for my GI issues. In the long term, I’d take that trade-off, but it would be easy for an observer to be judgy about it because I was “just” treating acne. All that to say, now I am kinder about the idea of plastic surgery in general. Not for me (so far) and I judge the hell out of predatory providers, but the procedure itself is not the problem — the culture surrounding it is.