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Splurge Monday’s Workwear Report: Adranno Silk Blouse

A woman wearing a green and white printed top and green pants

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

It’s time for my quarterly swoon over The Fold’s gorgeous collection. This green-and-ivory silk blouse is incredibly elegant, with the most beautiful abstract floral print. (Apparently it was originally hand-painted by artisans in Italy.)

Wear it under a blazer for an important meeting or paired with your favorite trousers on a day when you just want to feel your best.

The blouse is $425 at the Fold and comes in U.S. sizes 2–14.

A couple of more affordable options are available from Karen Kane (XS–XL, $118) at Nordstrom and Daniel Rainn (XS–3X, $47.97) at Stitch Fix.

Sales of note for 12.5

298 Comments

  1. Shift dresses. In theory I like them as they are t fitted through the midsection. I have tiny shoulders and am flatchested. I feel a bit like a Minecraft character in shifts but my shape isn’t sheath friendly since COVID and perimenopause, so what else is there? I feel like a more tailored shoddy might work, but that seems to miss the point of a shift. Or is this where a celebrity or rich stylish person would take things in a bit to be more flattering?

    1. I accidentally connected with someone on LinkedIn because I clicked it while scrolling on the app. We are both in-house attorneys in the same city and have a lot of mutual connections, but we have not met. He sent me a message to get coffee and I gave him a noncommittal “when things die down” kind of answer as a soft blow off due to the mutual connections. He has now followed up with a specific date. What’s the professional way to get out of this? And what’s in it for him to be pushing a meeting? He is currently at a firm so I assume he wants business or maybe he is trying to go back in house, neither of which I can help him with. If it matters he is much senior to me in age and rank.

      1. You said you’re both in house but then you said he’s at a firm – which one is it? If in house he probably thinks you’re quietly job searching.

        1. Similar thoughts. He may have a position open that you’d be a good fit for; we’re not a law firm but senior people at my company do a lot of targeted networking like this for hiring.

          Personally even though it’s weird, I’d probably take the coffee meeting. You never know. For meetings I’m unsure about, I create a fictional meeting that “just popped up” 30-60 minutes after the meeting starts and tell the person that at the beginning of the meeting (and I set an alarm for when I “need” to leave) so that there is an explicit hard out time.

          1. but also, don’t take the meeting since you don’t want to! I didn’t mean to derail the thread by saying you should do what I would do – just remembered you are looking for ways to get out of doing it. since you don’t want to do it, I’d reply back to his specific date and say that it doesn’t work for you and you would reach out in the future when it makes sense for your schedule.

        2. He has been in house for decades but went back to a firm recently. Sorry about the nesting fail.

      2. He may have ulterior motives, but I’d just respond “That doesn’t work for me.” and set a reminder to un-connect with him in 2 weeks.

      3. You could just acknowledge it. Respond with no need for a coffee, you accidentally clicked connect while scrolling and did not intend to take up his time. You appear to have a lot of connections in common; perhaps you will cross paths IRL at the next city industry event.

        1. I like this script if you really don’t want to meet but want to keep a cordial relationship.

      4. I think the professional way to get out of this is to just not respond, or say, let me look at my calendar and get back to you. You already said you’re busy. If I saw him out in the wild, I’d apologize for forgetting to get back to him. FWIW, I’d get coffee with him if I had the time, but I say yes to connections almost always (and try to make them, so perhaps that’s what’s in it for him?). You never know what will come from it long term. But I totally recognize that that’s a personal philosophy and not everyone subscribes. Also FWIW, I don’t get upset if someone isn’t interested in making a connection with me; I just move on to someone who is. So if he’s the same, I don’t think you need to worry much!

      5. Someone substantially senior to you in your field, with whom you share many mutual connections, responded to your connection request with an immediate invitation to coffee. That strikes me as a good person to know, and as a person who likely knows A LOT of people.I would make time to meet him.If he pushes you for work or a job, you can be clear that you don’t currently have pathways to hiring him, but now you’ve met you can keep him in mind in the future. However, if you struggle with how to keep such a meeting professional and platonic, without flirting with an older man, then you should work on that instead.

    2. I’m smaller up top than below. I’ve had good results adding two short rows on darts (vertical) at the midsection of a dress so it fits my lower half but isn’t frumpy up top. I put them in front but you could do them in the back (or both). Shortening the straps might make a difference for you too, or a couple of darts under the armholes. Good luck!

      Otherwise, how about an a-line midi? Not a fit-and-flare. Ralph Lauren and Charter Club tend to have good offerings.

    4. Shirt dresses! They may not work for the most conservative of offices and I’d choose the fabric and print/pattern carefully + accessorize in a very classic/preppy way but they are great for “changing body doesn’t really work with a sheath/shift anymore” I’d also look into bias cut midi dresses, there’s a handful out there with very lightly elasticized waists to give some definition–Ann Taylor often has these (I had one for a couple years that was magically flattering, but it’s started looking/feeling dated at this point so I’m on the hunt for a new one).

    5. I like a shift that isn’t total bell. Or maybe it’s still considered a sheath but without any sort of stomach horizontal stitching. Something like the Etsuko. If I am wearing a true sheath (straight up and down), I prefer the horizontal stitching to be closer to the bust than a true waist. Like this one: https://www.macys.com/shop/product/london-times-womens-sleeveless-shoulder-pleat-sheath-dress?ID=16505877&pla_country=US&CAGPSPN=pla&trackingid=&m_sc=sem&m_sb=Google&m_tp=LIA&m_ac=Google_Womens_PLA&m_ag=&m_cn=GS_Women%27s_Dresses_PMax_LIA&m_pi=go_cmp-20663971821_adg-_ad-__dev-c_ext-_prd-641236347752USA&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw_-GxBhC1ARIsADGgDjuQrQ-lssfBGYUp91eoxY2eVVNwaNOxNpQCVnjoVksBTRt-wJcbwrUaAl3HEALw_wcB

    6. Yes, visit your tailor. I find that shift dresses work best for me when they fit well through the ribcage and hit on the shorter side, a few inches above the knee. A good tailor will be able to suggest what works best for you.

  2. Has anyone customized a Le Pliage bag with picking colors and a monogram? I wasted / invested / spent a lot of time at a soccer tournament trying to pick but I’m a crazy magpie and not someone who can be trusted to make a good (something that looks good with outfits I actually have and wear) decision.

    1. I don’t think of a Le Pliage as a statement bag to customize as opposed to a neutral workhorse. Black or steel would be my pick.

      3. I just ordered a navy blue one, haven’t opened it yet. I’m using it for an upcoming trip. I’m not expecting it to have any sort of style moment potential. It’s just utilitarian.

        My daughter had one for a while for school books and all that and hers was I think the Mulberry color.

      4. I have dark grey (steel?) and it’s fantastic. So versatile. I got a felt bag organizer for it that gives it enough structure to stand up on it’s own which (1) is so helpful and (2) comes in lots of fun color, so the personality is on the inside of my bag and the versatility is on the outside :)

      1. Bilberry is that color and I love it too, but doesn’t look like it’s currently offered.

    3. I have an almost 10 years old one that’s khaki (appears almost like a muted gold bc of the fabric sheen). It’s such a versatile neutral! Sadly they no longer offer it and my bag is definitely showing its age—stains, damaged corners, etc.

  4. If I were slimmer than I am and had more discretionary income than I knew what to do with, I would make a dent in my budget with The Fold. This is beautiful.

    1. The Fold is absolutely stunning. I just sent a dress in to ThredUp because it doesn’t fit my lifestyle anymore. Don’t forget to check resale sites for it.

  5. I am 48 years old, 5’6″ and broader in the thighs. Until recently have been a 4 or 6, last year have been sliding into 8 and 10. Work in a corporate light office (don’t wear suit daily but people do and definitely no jeans or sneaks). $500 to spend on some updating for spring. What should i buy? weekend or work or both!

    2. Same. Honestly, I’m thinking about spending my spring budget on WW or ozempic so I can get back into the spring and summer clothes I already own and love.

      1. OP here. I hear you. I was wearing a pair of linen elastic waists full legged pants this weekend and everytime i caught a view of myself it made me so sad. I would never have said i was vain or that i thought i was so skinny but this rapid spread is demoralizing.

      2. It’s crazy to me that you are thinking about using a weight loss drug (which is in incredibly low supply and hard to get) because you have gone up a size or two when still in a very healthy range.

        1. And you don’t need to judge how other people feel about their bodies. Whether someone is a candidate or not is a decision for them and their health care providers.

        3. If I were a size 8 I would be at least 50 lbs overweight. All bodies are different.

          1. I’d probably be in a healthy bmi but if I was a size 8 I’d look the same but with back fat that looks like a second pair of hips and a belly. even if it was just for aesthetic reasons i don’t know why people are so triggered by someone wanting to stay thin.
            it’s literally the American average and norm to be overweight so people don’t need to be defensive about it. you’re in good company if you are overweight and enjoying the standard American diet.

        4. Not having enough GLP-1 can have effects other than being larger than a size 8. If someone is a size 8 because they are starving themselves and putting massive amounts of effort into not gaining weight, they may really need Ozempic.

    3. A good blazer and a nice midi-length shirt dress.
      1-2 tops in a print you like. I’ve been debating Boden linen shirts but can’t decide if I will hate the prints after 1-2 wears.

    4. High waisted pleated pants — they allow you to update so many of your looks by tucking in tops instead of leaving them out and IMHO are super flattering.

    5. I probably go classic with some classic business trousers that aren’t too trendy. Not crop pants, not wide wide leg pants, the pants that are more like menswear trousers of old. Then I’d add a couple of nice blouses with enough presence that they can work without the blazer.

  6. Flew congested yesterday and still feel like i’m underwater. Best OTC decongestant?

    2. Generic sudafed paired with Mucinex DM. You’ll be drippy while things clear out but it’ll work within 6-12 hours.

        1. I am currently too freaked about the neti-pot related, brain-eating microbes to use mine.

    4. Regular strength Mucinex with a full glass of water, OR regular strength sudafed. I hope you feel better soon!

    6. Arm and hammer saline nasal rinse (I don’t trust myself to keep a neti pot sterile) + a fluticasone nasal spray.

  7. looking for a cardigan that will fit over a button down…. is this just a larger size of a basic cardigan that i would wear over a tshirt or is this a different animal all together?

    1. Maybe a lined sweater jacket with lined sleeves so it just slips on? I have one like that from Frances Valentine. Spendy but very good. They run large.

    2. it depends what the button down is made of — if it’s silky you’ll be fine no matter the size. if the button down is a crisp cotton it’s going to be clingy no matter what fit you get… i’d do a sweater jacket instead like the other commenter said, or one of those lady jackets that’s popular now.

    3. I find one size up is perfect to wear over a button-down. I’m wearing a V-neck Banana Republic forever cardigan over a silky button-down blouse today.

      1. In my early 30s: Any ideas for plus size lady jacket or sweater jacket that is more hip length and younger cuts/styling? Some of the JCrew and Talbots would fit but are either longer than I’m wanting or older prints/styles than I’d like. TIA.

        1. The J Crew Emilie Sweater Jacket is a lady jacket style and is not at all long; it is almost too short for me, and I am short waisted.

  8. congratulations to anyone who graduated over the weekend or attended a loved one’s graduation and congrats to all those who have graduations in the next few weeks! I hope that your graduations are celebratory and not disrupted. congrats on your accomplishments!

  9. Looking for ideas for an individual coach gift for end of year, with the added catch that the coach is retiring after this year. This is a sparkly sport, so GC to D*ck’s sporting goods or similar won’t work. Big bouquet and GC for $100? But to where? Any ideas would be appreciated!!!

    2. I don’t think you can go wrong with Target or Amazon. Everyone can find something they like from those stores, and they have the choice about whether to put it towards something practical or something fun. I’m not an Amazon fan, so Target is my go-to for teachers and coaches. I also like Barnes and Noble for people who you know are into reading or art, and that feels a touch more personal.

      1. I’d skip the Lulu for something with more options. It’s not the most inclusive of brands if higher in size range or tall in any way and style is really specific. A gift card like that would be wasted on me and a lot of the folks I know.

    5. Write a card to the coach about how much your kid has blossomed, had fun, etc. with their coaching. If your kid is young, bonus points if you make the kid draw the card. Then, I’d do a visa gift card with a note to spend it on something frivolous for themselves after they’ve done so much for your kid.

    6. I might be weird and basic, but my very favorite big gift cards to get are for Starbucks. It’s like I get the gift card 10-15 times, since that’s how many trips it takes to deplete the $100.

      1. Only do this if you know the person goes to Starbucks. I don’t drink coffee, and would be so annoyed by this gift it would probably go unused. It’s one thing to have to go to a Starbucks once to use a $10 gift card, but there is no way I would go 10 times.

        2. Same. Would be a waste for my family as well since bulk of the menu is coffee and low cost. Better to go with something with more options.

      2. This is me! Starbucks is a treat for me, and I love a gift card because I get to experience the gift many times as I buy coffees on multiple days. Because I actually really like Starbucks coffee and it’s a treat, Starbucks is my favorite gift card to receive.

  10. Royal School of Needlework is looking for a CEO. Who needs BigLaw? Maybe this is my next gig?

    BUT I am not authorized to work in the UK and have presbyopia that limits my ability to do good work now. I do have an amazing portfolio from my misspent youth though.

    1. Recently I visited one of their shops at Hampton Court on a visit home to the UK. My grandmother had some link to their courses!

  11. Super low stakes question. Via social media, I became aware that there are watermelon cutting tools or slicers – for lack of a better description. Do these work better than going old school with a knife? We eat a lot of watermelons in the summers and cutting them up more quickly would be great.

    1. I bought an apple slicer and it changed my life! I love eating apples dipped in peanut butter and I have perfect slices every day. I eat a ton of watermelon in the summer and am now eyeing a watermelon cutting tool.

    2. I have a giant pink and green serrated watermelon knife and I love it. I saw a similar one at Whole Foods yesterday. I also love my apple slicer and my orange peeler. Anything that makes it easier or more fun to eat fruit and vegetables is a yes for me.

    3. I have a melon knife made by Kuhn. It is excellent. I can take apart a watermelon, cantaloupe or honeydew in a few minutes, instead of 10 plus.

      1. Is the melon knife actually faster than just a big knife out of my knife block that I use for all kinds of veggie chopping? If so, I’ll buy one. But I always assumed they didn’t provide anything that my regular large knives did not.

        1. I find it is. It doesn’t hack up melon as badly, and I don’t dull my good chefs knife. The melon knife is serrated with a decently heavy blade.

          It probably isn’t strictly necessary, but come midsummer when I’m buying melon at the farmers market, it’s really nice to get one broken down in a few minutes.

    4. I had a watermelon slicer that was like a giant version of the apple slicer. It only worked for pretty small watermelons, though. I went back to a big knife but watched a couple of youtube videos on different ways to slide watermelon. What would be really useful, I think, is a cutting board with a drain to catch the juice and contain the mess. I am sure there is such a thing, and now that I’ve written it out here, I’ll get ads for them, saving me the trouble of googling.

      1. I have a large cutting board with a pretty deep lip near the edge. It’s just so large and heavy that I rarely take it out, but it does contain the juice.

      2. Put your cutting board on top of a cookie sheet (the kind with a lip all the way around). That’s what I do to catch the juice.

        1. +1 here too. I use an old cookie sheet that I don’t care about the knife scuffing up the finish.

          1. Any recommendations for a glass cutting board? Also intrigued by a watermelon slicer.

    5. I cut my hand cutting into a honeydew melon once, then I googled that, and it turns out melons are among the most dangerous things to cut, along with hard squashes. So if there’s a tool that makes it safer, I’d probably do it, especially if you’re a big watermelon eater.

  12. If you had to throw out all your eye makeup because you got pinkeye (and had just put on full eye makeup for an event the night before…), what would you pick?

    My makeup had gotten a bit stale so a month ago, I bought one of those Sephora spring packs. Turns out, I loved the new ‘light but glowy’ makeup vibe. I strongly prefer a tubing mascara, I had just bought my old faithful age rewind concealer, Huda beauty pencil was my new friend, but looking to start anew.

    Also, those drunk elephant bronzing drops mixed into light coverage foundation??? 10/10.

    1. This is a fun question. My favorite items right now are Fenty blurring skin tint, Nars the Multiple, and Lune & Aster Hydra Glow underye brightener. I am also a tubing mascara devotee and I like Kevyn Aucoin’s best so far.

    2. I’m very interested in those subtl beauty stacks, Salt NYC, the “MOB Beauty” (what a name, where were the marketing people on that?) cream build-a-palettes (I’ve seen Beautuber’s I like use/recommend them) and maybe the Jones Road stuff, although the sparkle cream primer goo in a tub did zip for me. I also love high end beauty like Victoria Beckham and Tom Ford–the formulas are just about worth the price, for me personally.

    3. Bobbi Brown shadow sticks are my ride or die eye makeup for long wear. They come in a zillion shades!

    4. My usual eye makeup is Clinique eyeliner (I have sensitive eyes and this one doesn’t irritate me), Merit mascara (ditto, it’s also tubing) and Laura Mercier caviar sticks.

    5. I’m happy with my Tarte eyeshadow palette for daily wear. Figure out your undertones if you don’t already know them. It turns out I look best with slightly pink shades instead of beige. I use the Age Rewind “highlighter” color for under eye concealer. I’m committed to Urban Decay’s primer and eyeliner pencil.

    6. I like tubing mascara but have no brand loyalty – right now I’m using Tarte. Lately I’ve been into those Nudestix for eyeshadow. Thats all I’ve got for you but thought this was a fun question.

    7. i keep getting ads for RMS eye stuff, just bought 2 shades… supposed to be better for older skin.

    8. I recently caved to the Merit ads and purchased the face kit of serum, foundation stick, bronzer, blush and highlighter. I like it a lot but I’d give it 4/5 stars, not a full 5. It’s all very glowy and natural which I love but I wish the packaging was more sustainable. It all feels very fancy. The foundation stick is fine, not great. It could be a bit creamier. The bronzer is nice and creamy and gives a hint of color. I wish I’d gotten the next darkest color but that’s on me. The blush is nice and the highlighter is going to last me for the rest of my life because you need so little of it.

      Anyway, I’d try their mascara and lipsticks next. I believe they have eyeshadows too but I’m not an eyeshadow girl.

      I recently accidentally ordered a bronze Almay eyeliner instead of my normal dark brown and I’m loving it! It makes my blue eyes pop but still looks natural. So maybe use this as an opportunity to try new colors!

      1. I got a merit highlighter and it smelled like old crayon. Do all of their products smell kind of off, or did I maybe get a bad batch?

        1. I haven’t noticed a smell with any of their products so maybe you got a bad batch?

    9. Since you said just eye makeup, I’d probably buy one of the double ended Bobbi Brown shadow sticks, and also one of their new shadow stick eye liners, which is different because it has a pointed tip that is sharpenable and generally is in darker colors than the regular shadow sticks.

      I would again do tower 28 mascara because I think it’s the best deal at Sephora and it’s just a really good mascara. It is also not impossible to get off when you want to.

      In non-eye makeup, I’m still a huge fan of the Dr Jart premium BB cream. I’ve never found a better foundation or skin tint. It doesn’t settle into pores, and so many others do. The light shade works really well for my pale pink skin, and it really lasts. I love it.

      My favorite surprise for blush lately was also from tower 28. Their cream blush in Beach Please. A universally flattering, natural looking shade.

      My favorite makeup brush of all time is the Bobbi Brown full coverage face brush. I use it for both the BB cream and the cream blush, sequentially. And if I got a new one, I’d also buy the Sephora brand spray brush cleaner which I use daily.

    10. I go cheap when it comes to mascara because you should replace it frequently. I’ve tried everything from covergirl to Dior and always come back to Maybelline. I also do love Laura Mercier or Bobbie Brown shadow sticks. Cream shadows dry out too quickly for me.

      1. I like nicer mascaras, but always buy the travel size. That way I’m not wasting any when I toss it after 6 months

    12. I am eternally faithful to my Lacome hypnose mascara, and Laura Mercier setting powder. I also really like my charlotte tilbuty eye palette, and I am surprised by how much my Caudalie fixing spray ‘eau de beaute’ has been helping in the south heat.

  13. Has anyone found a sunscreen that actually prevents hyperpigmentation/freckling? I’m covered in freckles but I always kind of chalked it up to being too lax about SPF in my teens and early 20s. But we’ve been very careful about daily sunscreen for my elementary age daughter and she is starting to get some, though thankfully they’re nowhere near as dark as mine (yet, anyway). I know sunscreen alone isn’t 100% effective, and we do also have her wear a wide-brimmed hat in sunnier months, but I’ve been reading about how most US sunscreens don’t have adequate UVA protection and it’s the UVA rays that mostly cause freckles. We’re currently using Neutrogena Ultra Sheer Dry Touch which is supposed to be one of the best in the US for UVA, but I know a lot of the European and Asian sunscreens are supposed to be better and I’m open to paying more for a better quality sunscreen. The options are kind of overwhelming though, so wondering if anyone here has a personal rec.

    1. honestly i’d just go with whatever fiddy snails recommends on IG… the last stuff i bought that she recommended, biore, was great and not that expensive. goes on so much better than any US sunscreen. she’s written about how she prefers japanese sunscreens to korean sunscreens because of some certification or labeling thing that is more strictly regulated in japan than in korea.

      1. Yes to all this. If you’re going from this comment, make sure you’re not making the made-for-the-US version of the Biore. You want the Asian import. This one:

        https://a.co/d/1zkrLpg

        US approved SPF ingredients are woefully behind the times.

      1. Are you reapplying? I’ve found I need to be better reapplying in the afternoon when the days are longer.

      2. We use SPF 70 and it’s not linear so apparently there are diminishing returns above 50. And yes reapplying often.

        1. Completely anecdotally, I use 70 or 80 around water. Usually those formulations feel thicker and I feel like the higher spf stays on longer, although I know the higher spf in theory doesn’t do much more. I’m also paler/more prone to burns than average I’d say.

    3. There’s probably a genetic component to this too, no? Is freckle-free really possible?

      1. I don’t think it is possible. My mom has worn long sleeves and long pants and religiously avoided sun exposure her entire life because of a sun allergy, and she still has freckles on her arms.

      2. Oh there’s definitely a genetic component to it, but what doctors have told me is that even with a strong genetic predisposition to it like we have they’re still caused by the sun. I don’t 100% believe that because my daughter was born with a handful, and I have some in places like my n!pples that have literally never seen sunlight and are pretty much always covered in at least two layers of fabric (bra + shirt or bikini + rashguard). But I do believe most of them are caused by sun exposure. I doubt freckle free is possible but hoping to minimize the number and darkness (I have extremely dark ones that look terrible on my pale skin, I think a lot of fair skinned people have lighter ones that aren’t so glaringly obvious).

    5. I’ve heard from several dermatologists that’s a tinted spf is more helpful than a non tinted version.

      1. That’s interesting – I had not heard this but a quick Google seems to confirm freckled people need the iron oxides from tinted sunscreens. Unfortunately I don’t really feel comfortable sending a 7 year old to school in what looks like a full face of foundation, and I also find physical sunscreens very ineffective on my kid (I think she rubs them off). She’s burned with physical sunscreen before, and has never burned using a chemical sunscreen, even though they don’t seem that great at preventing tans and freckling.

    6. I got serious hyperpigmentation after slathering on Neutrogena Ultra Sheer Dry Touch spf 70 too. Switched to EltaMD years ago on the recommendation of others on this board, and the evenness of my skin tone has been much better since.

      1. Thanks, I was looking at this one after spending too much time on skincare Reddit, but their highest SPF is in the 40s which seems fine for every day use but low to me for a fair skin person on a beach day. Do you wear something else at the beach? Or have you found this to be effective even in more intense sun?

    7. Based on most of these comments, it seems like there are a lot of people who don’t understand UVA vs UVB. Definitely go with Asian sunscreen for UVA protection.

    8. My 16-year-old daughter bought an actual freckle pencil at Sephora and literally draws freckles on her face. I am 100% for hats and sunscreen but I just wanted to make sure you and your daughter know that freckles are cute.

      1. I appreciate the sentiment and I’m aware they’re “cool” now, but trust me, they’re not cute on me. A lot of people have a cute smattering across the nose and that’s what the freckle pencils are designed to replicate, but I have them all over and they’re HUGE and run into each other, so my face is basically one mottled freckle, and it’s not a good look. I’ve also dealt with a lot of judgment from doctors who assume I never wear SPF because of how freckled I am. I’ve cried in more than one doctors office because they’re so judgmental, and I don’t want that for my kid. :/

        Ironically, I seem to have very minimal fine lines for my age (early 40s) because I’ve spent my whole adulthood bathing in SPF!

  14. Looking to upgrade my backpack for work. Ideally something lightweight, sleek, and professional, under $300. I’d like a side pocket for a water bottle/umbrella. I was looking into Lo & Sons since those are often recommended but would love other suggestions! Thanks in advance!

    1. I love my Tumi backpack. I got mine from poshmark (Tumi Larkin Paterson Backpack in a wine color). Definitely take a look at Tumi. Mine has been used daily for over 4 years with no signs of wear.

      1. I could not read your first sentence with any inflection other than “…but I LOOOOOOOVE my Tumi backpack.”

        1. I kinda do LOOOOOVE it. It is about the only item I use daily about which I have zero complaints or frustrations, which is so refreshing as I have complaints about almost everything.

    2. I have and really like the Cuyana leather backpack. Mine is an earlier version, and the current one looks even better (laptop sleeve, among other changes).

    4. I have a Tumi which I like but is over your budget. Before my Tumi, I had a Victorinox backback (similar to the Victoria model), which is around $300 and really liked that as well so take a look at that!

    5. I love my Tumi backpack too, but I can also recommend Knomo London products. Amazing customer service and they do have sales, although even at full price the biggest nylon one (which I recommend for weight purposes) is under your budget. I have one of their nylon totes that has been used daily for over 5 years and is in perfect shape. I think the pockets on these are internal though.

    6. Samsonite makes a dupe of the Tumi ones that is really well made, and totally economical. Really love mine. Buy at ebags when they do a 30 percent off sale. Highly recommend.

  15. I love clogs and have a bunch of the US brands. Has anyone ordered the handmade ones off of etsy that are about half the price of the US ones? I was looking at a store called “Swed2Walk” out of Stockholm but don’t really know what I’m getting myself into. Thanks!

    1. I’m down a clog rabbit hole. what are your fav brands?
      I’m looking at Intentionally Blank, Poppy Barley (Canadian but ships to US) and Bryr. right now I only have super casual clogs -birkenstocks and Crocs, but want a tan pair that can pass for business casual. Closed toe and not an insane heel

      1. I’m the OP. My favorites that I own now are Swedish Hasbeens and No.6 (both of which are old and should be replaced, which is why I’m looking). I also have a Madewell pair and a No.6 boot pair. I have had two pairs of Bryr and one Sandgrens in the past and neither of those fit my foot well, I ended up selling them.

    2. I have a pair from Lotta from Stockholm, their prices are very reasonable and the quality is good.

    3. I have worn Bastad clogs since I was a kid – they also appear under the brand name Troentorp. They use nails instead of staples and last a long time! It’s been awhile – might be time to get a pair!

  16. My high schooler is interested in nursing as a career (who knows if this will stick, but I want to be supportive). When I was in high school, all of the nurses knew they wanted to be nurses from the womb it seemed and they all were candy-stripers in high school and then went to nursing schools (like schools that just did that), got their LPN, and then soon after had their RN and started working. I understand that it’s not like that now — you apply to a nursing program at a 4-year school and they are very hard to get into (and I’m not sure if there are other entry points other than some BA to BSN programs aimed at career switchers). I know there are some healthcare people here — is there a good resource to point her to? School is sort of overwhelmed and I think relies on parents to use their friends / crowdsourcing to figure things out.

    1. There are still nursing programs at community colleges. But I think you are going to have a lot more options as an RN with a four year degree.

      There are lots of Bachelors (in unrelated field) to masters in nursing programs. I have a good friend who went back to school a decade after undergrad to do this. The benefit is that the masters makes it easier to move into administration down the line.

      1. in Pennsylvania where we have a shortage of nurses…community college has 2 year Associate – RN program. It is a challenging program with all the testing and certifications required for any RN (whether 4 year or 2 year college) Know several that completed their degrees there and are immediately in RN role earning very good salaries…highly recommend this route.

    2. If you can get in and afford a bachelors nursing degree you should do it. Industry has def shifted away from associates degrees.

    3. There are many routes available. Community college for LPN or RN or LPN-to-RN. BSN is generally required long term, but could be either through community college RN and then RN-to-BSN in person or mostly online, or by a 4 year BSN program (generally apply to the program in the second year after meeting most of the prerequisites. Once someone has a BSN, there are lots of more advanced programs available, although most just stick with the BSN unless there are specific career goals. If someone has a cc RN, many healthcare systems will hire someone contingent on getting a BSN and pay for it, subject to a commitment to work as a nurse with that employer for a period of years.

    4. You could check on YouTube. There are a lot of nurses who vlog about their jobs and nursing school. Might offer a different perspective.

    5. We live a block away from a hospital and they have zero interest in teen volunteers like the old candy-strippers. IDK how an interested kid does anything in high school the way you used to volunteer with the rescue squad or be a candy striper. I know there are $$$ summer camps at some colleges but they are aimed at kids interested in med school (which is a bit far off for a teen).

      1. Most of the hospitals in my area do have teen volunteers. They don’t get to do a lot but they do get to answer phones, make deliveries, etc. It’s not the most exciting but it does get them some exposure to healthcare.

    6. I have many nurse friends. They generally took one of three paths:
      1. They went to a 4 year nursing program as an undergrad and graduated with an RN.
      2. They got a 4 year BS, satisfied the nursing pre-reqs, and did a 2 year RN program after graduating.
      3. They got a 4 year BA or BS, had not satisfied the nursing pre-reqs, did a 1 year post-bac year to get the pre-reqs, then did a 2 year RN program.
      *Some of the 2 year post undergrad RN programs have the option to add on a 3rd year for an NP, so some of my friends are NPs.

      Nursing tends to be more regional, so going to school in the general region you want to live in can have a lot of advantages in finding a job.

      There are a lot of interesting jobs in healthcare other than being a doctor that your child could explore depending on what appeals to them about nursing, including being a physician’s assistant, physical therapist, occupational therapist, research coordinator, supporting grant applications/work at large academic institutions, working in health insurance, etc.

      1. i also know people who got nursing degrees and worked as a nurse, but then moved onto administration type roles. I shared a bunch of info, but am stuck in mod with links

        1. This. A friend of mine is an RN who went back for a doctorate and now has a big job in a managerial role. It’s stressful but in a different way from patient care, and the hours are more regular.

        2. Am/was a nurse. There are tons of jobs for RNs (with experience) outside the typical hospital setting. Pretty much every company related to healthcare (Pharma, biotech, diagnostics, device, research, etc) in many capacities. With some business sense and ambition you can advance beyond the typical nurse in industry roles.

        3. My husband was in hospital IT (think electronic medical records) and worked alongside a bunch of former nurses. My pharmacist friend also moved into hospital IT.

    7. Hi! Call the hospitals HR department and look at their Web sites We love our teen volunteers (16 and up) We specifically find volunteer opportunities for students planning healthcare careers We also offer all kinds of different summertime employment. We offer full scholarships if they want to work part time while attending school

    8. i don’t think they are all so hard to get into. i would definitely do a bachelor’s program s then maybe if your kid wants to do an NP that’s an option after. just look at the us news and world report list of nursing program and this resource might be helpful https://demoamp.vault.com/vault-guides/guide/vault-guide-to-nursing-jobs-second-edition/view as well as https://www.onetonline.org/link/summary/29-1141.00 and https://www.bls.gov/ooh/healthcare/registered-nurses.htm

      1. This may be regional, since nursing programs are really hard to get into, and then stay in, in my state. My undergrad had a great nursing program but it was HARD to get into – I had a roommate who was a nursing student and she studied way more than me. My cousin is an excellent nurse (like became a director of nursing with 5 years of being out of nursing school, and now is a director of directors or something like that with lots of accolades) and her journey to becoming a nurse is wild – got dropped out of a program, transferred to a tech school for one version then back to another school for RN and then somewhere for doctorate…it was a lot. I absolutely applaud her dedication and single-mindedness because her education path was expensive and very twisty because the programs just simply are not big enough. I also know someone who was just dropped from a California nursing school program; according to his parents his grades were good his first year but he didn’t rank high enough to continue. I have no idea if it’s true, but it lines up with what I generally do know about there being a scarcity of nursing school spots.

    9. Not only are non-BSN nurses less common now, but all of my friends continued on to be NPs. And they all have their NPs (if not their BSN and NP) from Ivy League schools

      1. I was gonna say to OP that I think leaving the door open to continuing on to a NP program is a good bet given the primary care physician shortage. I wonder if applying to universities that offer a BSN to NP path might increase the odds.

      2. Um, have worked in healthcare for 30 years, and your observation is not reflective of all (or even much) of health care. Source: worked at 2 AMC’s, both with Magnet nursing designation. We certainly did not have all of our nurses or NP’s (only a small minority) coming from Ivy League schools!

    10. I am not in nursing but work in healthcare. A lot of states do not allows LPNs (Associates Degree) to do the same work as nurses. In my state, LPNs typically end up working in nursing homes or reporting to RNs if they work in a hospital setting. She will definitely have more options if she gets a 4-year degree.

      As another poster commented, a lot of people that work in hospital administration come from nursing/clinical backgrounds. In addition, I have several friends who got RNs and then later went to graduate school to become nurse practitioners.

      1. In most states LPN’s are not even an associate degree. For the most part the associate degree programs (ADN degree) you end up as an RN. So same license as a BSN. Certain states/ hospitals require a BSN to practice but it is the exact same license.

        1. And an LPN always have a more limited scope of practice than an RN. And RN may have a ADN, BSN, MSN, or a doctorate, but same scope for all.

      2. I work for a large HMO hospital system. In our system LPNs are not employed in hospitals but are working outpatient. In some areas they function similar to a Medical Assistant with a few more duties and in some areas- procedural specialties like dermatology or urology- they do more interesting stuff. Many folks do start as a CNA (which are hospital based) and simultaneously go to nursing school for their RN.

    11. You can still get an LPN if you want, but it makes the most sense to go to a four year institution and get an RN. I don’t think it’s particularly difficult to get into a nursing program. Some high schools have allied health programs where you can go learn at a hospital but that is not really a requirement to becoming a nurse and is not the norm. I had a seminar class in college where they went over all the different type of nurses and career options, but everyone was already there to get a 4 year degree by that point. :) I would expect college to cover other options though beyond the RN.

    12. My son in law went the CC for nursing, got his RN, got a job, and the hospital he is employed with is paid for him to get his BSN, he’s an ICU nurse. Now they are paying for his DNP. Academic hospitals generally have a pretty good repution for paying for furthur education. Most of his nursing classmates have gone on to get the BSN, although there are a few who have not.

      My daugther got a BA in bio-chem, and then did a direct entry MSN program. It was perfect for her, she’s an ICU/Cardiac nurse at a large academic hospital.

    13. I didn’t decide to become a nurse until after my first year of college when I panicked that I wouldn’t have a job after graduation. I took all the prerequisites, applied to my school’s BSN program, and got rejected. So I got my CNA through the Red Cross, worked as a hospital CNA for 6 months, applied again, and got in. I strongly recommend some hands-on experience before getting too far down the road, both for application purposes as well as for finding out if you have the heart/stomach for hands-on healthcare.

    14. One of my cousin’s got a BS degree in some kind of biology sub-specialty. She then did an accelerated BSN program after that at the same school that only took another 2 semesters or something. I think the first BS degree gives her some options if she decides she wants to leave nursing.

    16. I just want to correct some information on this thread. You don’t “graduate as an RN” just by going to a 4 year college. Becoming an RN is a completely separate test that must be passed after either getting an associates in nursing or a BSN.

        1. My niece is in a combined BS/RN program right now. I think some schools offer that. She’ll be able to do all of it in four years.

          4. She will have some form of BS degree that has the needed requirements to sit for licensure. You are not an RN until you pass your boards. It is not a degree, it is a license. You could get your doctorate in nursing and you are not an RN unless you sit for and pass boards.

      2. +1 and Happy Nurses Week to all of the nurses here! Generally, a BSN will give more options in both bedside and non-bedside nursing. Once in a program, there are nurse externship opportunities at hospitals that can help students decide what areas of nursing they like while earning some money (although babysitting in nursing school, in addition to retail jobs and externships, got me through very well. Parents love hiring nursing students to watch their little ones!) Nursing is a great career choice, there are so many options and a BSN program will generally expose students to more of those options like community, forensic, school, legal, climate health, leadership, etc. If hospitals aren’t taking volunteers in your area, they could consider looking for other nonprofit volunteer options which will provide an opportunity for them to learn about the social determinants of health and public health and can make them a stronger candidate.

  17. I know there are some stain removal experts here. :)
    I have a grease stain on a pair of new Ayr jeans from dropping part of my lunch on it. I used whatever stain remover I have, and some Dawn dish soap, and then threw it in the wash. The stain is still there. Is there any hope of removing it? What should I use next?

    2. Rubbing alcohol followed by stain spray, then a soak in oxyclean right before running the load. That takes care of 95% of my stain issues, and the other 5% is impossible. (Rubbing alcohol is great for organic stains – food, nature, etc)

    3. Grated white chalk – plain chalkboard chalk. Grate it or break/pound it in a zip lock bag. Let it sit on the stain to absorb the grease and then wash. Turn the jeans inside out and treat from the wrong side if needed.

    4. If all else fails, WD-40 will get out a lot of grease stains. Of course WD-40 itself can stain, but it dissolves the grease, and then you treat the whole thing with Dawn or similar and wash again. Let it air dry until you are 100% positive the stain is gone.

      1. +1

        Degreaser in copious amounts, dishsoap to get the degreaser out, rinse clean & air dry between attempts, and do not use heat until the stain is gone.

    5. K2R is incredible for grease stains. I’ve never had it fail, even with already set stains.

  18. I know this has been asked before, apologies for the repeat- suggestions for reasonable ($300-400 per night?) NY hotel for a family of 4? Fine to share one room with two queens. We’re going to see a show at Rockefeller and taking the train up from DC.

    1. Download the app Hotel Tonight. Have been able to get the Klimpton Muse right in the area you want to be within that price range.

    2. We like the Courtyard by Marriott Midtown East, which is about half a mile from Rockefeller Center. It’s not fancy but is very clean, comfortable and the rooms are very large by NYC standards. We usually pay ~$300-350/night.

    4. I like The Kimberly. It’s not a tourist location (I stay there on business a lot). It’s an older hotel but well kept, great service and the rooms all trend large… much larger than new hotels. Has a lot of charm.

    5. The Lucerne on 79th street sometimes has rooms in that arrange. Would be easy to and from RC and Penn Station on the subway.

  19. I’ve found my holy grail lip mask – Laneige. My lips are usually fine but were drier this winter, and I tried at least three overnight lip treatments that managed to make them worse. Bought a set of the masks during the last Sephora sale and I’m in love. Any thoughts on their balms? They’re pricy and normally I’m good with Burt’s Bees but I’ll try them if they’re great too.

    1. I don’t think the balms work as well. They aren’t as lasting. Natrium are similar and cheaper though. Available at Target.

    2. Laneige is my favorite lip mask. Even my bf loves it! I also like to brush my lips while brushing my teeth at night and then putting it on. Maybe that’s gross but it works!

    3. I have chronically dry lips (lip really dry and cracked) and I just wear vaseline during the day generally. I have not found the laneige balms to be as moisturizing as the mask. If you want a nice and spendy lip balm, I recommend the nuxe honey balm.

    4. I have the Laneige lip mask and I just don’t get the hype. I think the Rosebud salve is just as good and less expensive.

    5. I love the Laneige too. It’s the only thing that really works. I’ve not tried the balms, though.

    6. I love the Laneige lip mask but I’m trying out Vaseline cocoa butter lip therapy (the tiny tubs) because of the big price difference. So far I’m pretty happy with it. I’m also trying to get to the root of the issue. I’ve reduced flaking and peeling lips by always applying some kind of lip balm before I eat or drink anything and especially before I brush my teeth. I also switched to a toothpaste without SLS.

      1. I get that the laneige pot is probably a higher price per gram than the Vaseline, but the Laneige is like $20 or $25 and lasts a year. I don’t want something I’m sticking my finger into to last much longer than that.

  20. My daughter’s high school choir director is taking the kids to sing during a Shabbat service at his Reform Jewish synagogue. Parents are encouraged to attend, but the director has provided no information on expectations and I can’t find anything on the synagogue’s website. What should her dad and I wear and what are we expected to do/refrain from doing during the service since we are not Jewish? (E.g., when visiting churches of various Christian denominations I know to follow along with the bulletin, to stand and sit when others do, and to find out ahead of time whether visitors are encouraged or forbidden to participate in communion.)

    1. this is a bit odd to me, especially if this is a choir of a public school, but it still sounds nice! what area of the country are you in? reform synagogues are fairly casual and many include interfaith families, etc. there is nothing during the service you need to refrain from doing or not doing, unless you are uncomfortable doing something bc of your own religion. basically stand when they say to stand and sit when you say to sit. services are mostly a bunch of songs. you can wear like a church dress or a work dress (don’t need shoulders fully covered, but something appropriate), either would probably be fine and your husband can probably dress business casual, like slacks and a button down with a sports jacket. in most areas of the country i’d be surprised to see people in full suits at a reform synagogue for services, unless there is a bar or bat mitzvah. is it Friday night Shabbat services or Saturday morning? it is considered respectful for men to put on a kippah (which is a small head covering, but they should have some there), but not required. have fun!

      1. Thanks! It is a public school choir in the SEUS. The choir director is also the music director for the synagogue, and I think he does this every year as a way of broadening his mostly non-Jewish students’ cultural and musical horizons. He also took them to sing a mass at a concert in a church. These activities seem to fly under the school board’s radar, as they are mainly spending their energy on banning books and fighting the Girl Scouts. The school board certainly doesn’t have a problem with their singing sacred music in Hebrew, as this group was invited to do just that during a school board meeting.

        1. as a jewish person who is concerned about the antisemitism in the country and world, I think this is lovely and I hope everyone enjoys the experience.

        2. Why are they fighting the Girl Scouts? Is it the rumors about how it’s pro-choice or the tr*ns acceptance stuff? As someone who is pretty darn lefty and a Girl Scout troop leader, sometimes I wish the Girl Scouts did HALF of the politically-tinged stuff they are accused of…

          1. A Girl Scout did a Gold Award project that was deliberately designed as a provocation to the school board and there has been a battle about whether she should get the usual recognition from the county.

          2. Oh, that sounds like fun. Actually, not really fun. I feel like that kind of thing is a waste of time.

    3. Episcopalian who has attended many a Reform service – I tend to wear something a bit more formal than I’d wear to my own church, like a work dress and closed-toed shoes or nice slacks and a sweater. Suits and ties aren’t expected, though men are usually asked to wear a kippah (the ushers usually have a big basket). There’s usually some kind of security check and/or single entrance.

      In my experience, people are usually really really nice and will help you follow along with the service, find the bathrooms, bring a little bag of toys for your fractious toddler, etc., etc.

    4. I’d wear simple nice clothes – don’t need a full shit but can’t go wrong with jacket and tie (and may not need jacket), or a nice dress or sweater/pants for you. But truly as long as you are in clean clothes and not in shorts or jeans it’s fine! People will be glad to have guests especially young people.
      There really aren’t any big no-nos I can think of. There is no kneeling like in a Catholic Church. There will be times that everyone stands for prayers, which is nice for you to do to be respectful but not necessary. And there will be special prayers about health and death anniversaries where people are invited to stand or share the persons name which you can do if relevant or stay seated and quiet (as most will do). Enjoy!

  21. Favorite outdoor dining in Carmel for a June visit? Mid-range prices (such as they exist there) and not too fancy…

    3. If you make it to Carmel Valley, the Earthbound Farm Cafe is very good, provides excellent value, and has delightful grounds to tour. It feels like it’s a passion project of someone important at Earthbound Farm.

    4. Although neither is my favorite food in Carmel, I love Forge in the Forest for ambiance and the Village Corner Bistro for brunch and nice outdoor seating. I’ve had good food at Casanova though haven’t been in a few years and I can’t recall if they have an outdoor courtyard or if it’s just great skylights in one room for lunch. I also love the outdoor tables at the Carmel Coffee House and Roasting Co. which is in a courtyard off Ocean Drive.

  22. Talk to me about your tretinoin routine. I am about a month in of weekly application as a first-time user. I do a thin coat of CeravePM before applying a pea sized amount every Sunday night. I apply it about 20 mins after I wash my face so that it’s totally dry (a tip I got here). Skin has been a bit dryer than usual and definitely more acne, but it’s been completely manageable, so I guess that’s good.

    I read so many terrible things about side effects that I’ve been nervous to increase usage but I know I need to in order to see any results. Any other pro tips before I start doing 2x/ week? Is the goal to eventually get to nightly usage?

    1. What side effects? I’ve been using tret for close to ten years and have never had any side effects except the purging and dryness at the very beginning. I’m on the strongest strength, and can apply it nightly without irritation at this point, though I usually do it every other night. I don’t know there’s a goal, per se, but I needed to keep going to stronger strengths to get to a level that got my hormonal acne under control.

      1. +1
        I think I started using 0.025% every other night applied over moisturizer for a few weeks, then every night over moisturizer for a few weeks, and now every night before moisturizer. I just asked my derm for a stronger prescription so I assume I’ll start the process again with the 0.05% when I get it.

      2. I read here in response to someone else’s post once that the initial reaction was significant (a number of people chimed in) so I was really worried about having a wrecked face and I’ve been trigger shy to increase usage. Maybe that was oversold or I misinterpreted…. either way, I’m going to up frequency soon. Appreciate feedback.

        1. I am someone with health anxiety who worries a lot about side effects– there are plenty of meds to worry about the side effects for, but don’t worry about tret. :) I have super sensitive skin and the dryness at the beginning was not a big deal

    3. Honestly, I use a mix from Curology. Mine has tretinoin, azelaic acid, and niacinamide. I had a regular bottle of tretinoin from the pharmacy & my dermatologist’s prescription, but I had a hard time acclimating to it. The Curology was much easier. I started at a fairly low concentration of tretinoin and moved up to a higher level over time. I’m at 0.07% now.

      Tips – start like you’re doing, once a week. Move up by adding one day per week about 2-3 weeks apart. You’re already doing the sandwiching thing by applying a moisturizer underneath, but I also wait a bit then apply a moisturizer over it. That will help with dryness.

      In the morning use a very gentle cleanser or just rinse with water, and use other products made for sensitive skin. Your daily SPF is more important than ever when using tretinoin!

  23. Any recommendations for a dc area (or bethesda) hair stylist? I don’t need color and can be flexible on cost. I’m primarily looking for someone to help me figure out the right cut based on lifestyle etc. thanks in advance!

    1. Patricia Melgares at Violet Salon on Wisconsin Ave. in Georgetown. Pricey, but very skilled.

    3. I love Leigh Rieley at Aurora Salon on H St – have been going to her for years and we’ve done all sorts of looks. Highly recommend!

    4. I like Sara at Stylists at North in Old Town Alexandria. I make the trek out from DC for her, she’s the only one who gets layers right for me. Back in the day I used to go to Trim in Adams Morgan.

  24. looking for bike short esque undies to wear to avoid panty lines. Does not need to be spanx like (like not a girdle) and want them to be comfortable and light weight for summer. I bought some boy short undies but all it did was lower the panty line to the widest part of my thigh as opposed to my bottom. Suggestions?

    1. Honestly I buy spanx type garments but in a size or 2 larger than needed for compression.

    2. I find that the Soma vanishing edge bikinis are better for avoiding lines than bike shorts.

    3. the following boy/bike shorts work well for me under dresses (available on the rainforest site): Sexy Basics Womens 3 Pack & 6 Pack Ultra Soft Brushed Active Stretch Yoga Bike Short Boxer Briefs. (I got turned onto these items by a recommendation on this site, so I’m paying it back!). Good luck!

    7. Thigh Society! They are lighter than skimmies and come in various degrees of opaqueness.

  25. Q for the hive: how do people find careers in things that aren’t the typical Richard Scarry careers like lawyer/doctor/postal worker/etc? are there good career tests or other ways of weighing skills/deficits so you know what lines to pursue?

    We were at the audiologist last week and that fascinated me (I should’ve asked her, I know) — but it’s not something a lot of kids would have exposure to know to pursue, and obviously intelligence and skill is involved but i couldn’t imagine finding that path from thinking “oh I like science class or math problems” or anything else from school.

    my child is smart but autistic (not aspie, maybe level 2) — academics is not going to be his thing…

    1. how old is your child? part of the IEP process is supposed to be helping kids identify post school opportunities. they call it transition planning. depending on what kind of school program they are in, part of the day in HS may be exposure to different career opportunities. Also, not sure what state you are in by in NY a child with a diagnosis of autism might be entitled to additional opportunities to be out in the community.

    2. I don’t know what “academics is not going to be his thing” means, in relationship to this question. Do you mean that he won’t be going to college, and so you’re working to help him identify a career path through some other route?

    3. You have got to stop with all your limiting conceptions and restrictions on your kid. Seriously, enough is enough.

      1. Oh my god, amen. I always collapse and scroll on by these threads but I can’t believe how many of them there are! Kids don’t need to know if they want to be audiologists or not.

    4. It’s good you are thinking about this in advance. My smart but autistic child got a 4 year humanities degree, but had no career direction. I looked into different fields that aligned with his interests, and had him look into dietetics, and now he’s in school to get an RD. Since he didn’t have the science courses, he’s still taking some prerequisites. It would have been easier to take them as an undergraduate, in theory, but he wasn’t easily able to balance the science courses as a freshmen, and now he’s got his act together academically. Think about your child’s hobbies when looking into career possibilities.

    5. Idk if this is a Richard Scarry career, but I became a researcher/psychologist because my mom had mental health challenges when I was a kid (as in, was in an inpatient hospitals/psych ERs often because of hallucinations due to bipolar), and I was motivated to make a difference in other people’s life by pursuing mental health. I remember thinking I want to be the kind of person that can help people like my mom, at the time when no psychiatrist could find the right meds for her. I considered medical school, but really struggled with hard sciences and the debt framed me out so went the psychology route. I discovered research by accident working in a lab as an undergraduate (bc I was told that’s what I needed to do to get into a psychology PhD program). SO maybe it’s having personal experiences that motivate you to pursue a certain career? Other psychologists I have talked to seem to have similar stories (having a family member or themselves go through a mental health challenge). I wonder if the audiologist had a personal experience that motivated her/him.

    6. Outside of the professional licensure world, people find out about different careers by knowing other people who are in them. That means your friends shape your kid’s view of what kinds of careers he can have. And once he grows up and gets a job, if it is in a larger workplace he can see what other kinds of roles exist in that workplace and whether he wants to move into them.

      One of my least favorite things about being a lawyer was that my social circle was only associates at law firms and residents at hospitals. Life got a lot more interesting once that stage of life was behind me.

    7. Why wouldn’t he do well academically if he’s smart? Is his school just not accommodating him? Does his school also drop the ball on exposing students to career paths, or is it possible he actually is being exposed to a lot of career paths to pursue? What does he want to do?

    8. People figure it out! It takes time. I didn’t know what I wanted to be in high school. Give your kid a chance to experience life.

    9. there are various career assessments out there. I work in the field and often use the Strong Interest Inventory with high school or early college students.

      1. I took one in high school and got college professor as #1 and farmer as #2. I work in state government lol

        1. I took every aptitude test there was when I was in high school because I was the first in my family to go to college. Mine said I should be a lawyer or a doctor. I knew my dad hated lawyers (classic conservative) but I’d never met one. I thought being a doctor sounded gross, but I had braces on and thought I could probably be an orthodontist. Honestly, how are you supposed to know what you want to do when you’re 16, or especially a 16 year old from a rural community?

          So I started college with an undeclared pre-dental major (you didn’t declare for a while at my college) and then discovered I really liked math & switched to that immediately. I’m an actuary now, and no aptitude test at the time I took that would even have had that as a category!

    10. As to your first sentence, I wonder this also. I basically was only aware of the careers that seem obvious like lawyer, doctor, teacher, fire fighter, etc. And I chose lawyer, which has worked out well. But sometimes I look around and wonder how people got into the jobs and careers they are in and that I was completely unaware of when I was 22, 25, or even 30 years old. And there are still thousands of careers that I’m sure I’m unaware of. For example, I remember being at a c0cktail party and talking to a guy who does R&D for Gillette razors. Once you tell me that’s a job, it seems obvious – of course someone is doing that! But I’d never considered it until that moment. If I asked him how he got into that field, I don’t remember his answer.

      1. But you don’t go into a career thinking you’ll work on razor R&D! You might major in engineering and get into mechanicals or fabrication. Or maybe start in marketing and later become an SME in razors.

        1. This. He almost certainly started off by applying to engineering schools and going the mech-e route. Career fairs or internships lead to something.

          I wonder more about about people who end up as actuaries, data analysts, commercial real estate professionals, etc.

        2. +1 – it’s a career path and about taking the opportunities that look interesting. Some of it can be working at a large company with lots of opportunities to move laterally, so you just need a degree to get you in the door. Or its working at a small company and have to wear a lot of different hats and just have to figure things out.

          There’s a lot of people doing jobs they didn’t know about, or didn’t exist, when they were growing up/in college. It was their interactions with the world that landed them there.

        3. Could be chemistry or chemical engineering too for those cool films they have. Basically you get a STEM undergrand or grad degree, apply around and see where you get a job. Some people are very passionate about working in a particular area, but usually you’re driven by who is hiring and where as with many corporate type jobs.

      2. I wish there was more exposure to jobs! I am not a lawyer because I hate arguing and growing up, all you hear about lawyers is more litigation-focused or they’re always debating which I am NOT cut out for. I currently work with quite a few estate attorneys and if that had been something I’d known about, I would have probably pursued that Avenue.

        I think we really do our young people a disservice by not discussing all of the thousands of jobs out there!

    11. One drawback of college students taking so many AP, IB, and community college classes during high school is that they miss the fun exploratory phase of the first two, maybe three years of college. I think I changed my major three times and never wanted to be a lawyer. It wasn’t for three years after I graduated college that I applied to law school. My son wanted to be an engineer but didn’t know about biomedical engineering until he was almost done with his undergrad degree so he went to grad school to specialize. I agree that our career offices have to do a better job of telling students about varying options!

    12. It’s a bit outdated (twenty years old), but there’s a book called Gig that has over 100 short first-person accounts of all different types of jobs. I read it in college and it was eye-opening and interesting.

      1. Here are some specific resources about how to become an audiologist. It does take both an undergraduate and graduate (doctorate) level degree as well as a national examination and any state-specific/state-level exams required for license. https://www.asha.org/students/considering-and-pursuing-a-phd-in-csd/
        https://www.asha.org/certification/audiology-pathway-to-certification/

        If that seems like too much schooling for your child, there is also an audiology assistant program: https://www.asha.org/certification/apply-for-audiology-assistants-certification/
        https://www.asha.org/certification/education-pathways-to-audiology-assistants-certification/

        Hope this helps answer questions which might have piqued your interest during or following your recent audiology appointment.
        (FYI-I am not an audiologist). I do echo what has been recommended about career services/volunteering/self-exploration times to help your child identify what does/does not fit them.

    1. If you’re on Reddit, ask NYCBitchesWithTaste. Folks there have recommendations for every thing.

    2. Not yet, because my initial appointment isn’t until next month, but the answer is honestly whoever you can get in with! NYP wasnt even taking new patients because they had no intake appointments for 5 months from when I called. I was able to book something with NYU but it was still a few month wait to get an initial patient appointment.

  27. What is the oldest pair of shoes in your closet? When is the last time you wore them?

    1. High school so, approximately 25 years old. I last wore them about a week ago because Doc Martins are a thing again! Outside of that one pair, my oldest pairs are probably about 10 years old and they’re party shoes that I only wear if I need to go to a wedding or something.

    2. I have some tall brown boots that I got around 2013 or 2014. I haven’t worn them in about 5 years. I don’t keep much that I’m not wearing, but a decent quality, comfortable pair of boots is hard to find so I can’t really part with them. If I wore more skirts they’d get usage, but I’m almost strictly in athleisure now as full time wfh.

    3. White strappy heeled sandals from a late 90s mall store. I think I last wore them to a party shortly before Covid. They fill an infrequent wardrobe need and are reasonably comfortable for standing around in, so I am willing to continue storing them for the few hours a decade I might wear them.

    4. I have a pair of shoes for my National/folk costume that are from the nineties. I use them once or twice a year.

      In more regular, I think the oldest would be 10-11 years. Leather is durable and items come back into fashion.

    5. Wearing a pair of Gucci pumps from at least 16 years ago today. It’s my first time wearing them in about 8 years.

    6. That’s getting to be all my shoes. I have some Fluevogs from 1998, that may be the oldest pair.

      I wear sneakers, danskos, or birkenstocks 98% of the time now, so my old “work shoes” don’t get much love.

    7. Some waterproof sports sandals that I’ve had for 25+ years. I wear them whenever I go on an activity that involves water and requires shoes, and am pretty sure I pulled them out last summer.

    8. I have a pair of cowboy boots that my first husband bought me when we were engaged — ca. 1984. I think I’ve worn them within the last year or so.

    9. I have the shoes (brown leather, peep toe mule heels) I bought for my high-school graduation 23 years ago. I wore them last summer.

    10. I still wear a pair of sandals that have traveled around the globe with me, starting in 1997. These are the then-current, Lands End kids’ sport sandals, purchased when I was a baby adult.

  28. Although neither is my favorite food in Carmel, I love Forge in the Forest for ambiance and the Village Corner Bistro for brunch and nice outdoor seating. I’ve had good food at Casanova though haven’t been in a few years and I can’t recall if they have an outdoor courtyard or if it’s just great skylights in one room for lunch. I also love the outdoor tables at the Carmel Coffee House and Roasting Co. which is in a courtyard off Ocean Drive.

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