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I've always been a fan of a wide, square neckline — and I still remember one girlfriend telling me how she thought square necklines were the best ones to wear with blazers and suits.
They come in and out of fashion, but are happily having a moment — I like this bodysuit from Free People, which looks like it would be great for a sleek look with wide legged pants, shorts, skirts, and more.
The bodysuit is $58 at Nordstrom, available in sizes XS-XL in five different colors; you can also find it at Amazon, and Zappos (and some colors, including a bunch of sizes of the pictured “blue granite”, at Nordstrom Rack). This is a really similar option at the Free People website.
Hunting for other square neckline options? Check out Everlane bodysuits, MangoPop bodysuits, and SOMA bodysuits — and this Amazon Essentials tee in sizes XS-XXL if bodysuits aren't for you.
Sales of note for 11.5.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – Extra 40% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 25% off with your GAP Inc. credit card
- Bloomingdales is offering gift cards ($20-$1200) when you spend between $100-$4000+. The promotion ends 11/10, and the gift cards expire 12/24.
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Fall clearance event, up to 85% off
- J.Crew – 40% off fall favorites; prices as marked
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – New sale, up to 50% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Buy one, get one – 50% off everything!
- White House Black Market – Holiday style event, take 25% off your entire purchase
Anonymous
May get rained out this weekend but asking just in case this weekend isn’t a rain out and for other spring weekends – if you’re in N. Virginia in Arlington and wanted to go someplace where you could go and sit outside in the nice weather, think, make some lists as you career plan or write some networking emails, and then maybe walk around some – where would you go? I’m willing to drive. Looking to go someplace nice beyond just sitting in my building’s courtyard which I do often. Also looking to go someplace where I feel safe and don’t have to worry about – I’m sitting here with my phone or device out not paying attention and also not having to worry about is there some family that needs this spot for a birthday party or whatever.
Any ideas come to mind if you know the area?
DC Pandas
Hillwood in NW DC. Beautiful estate which has a cafe & gardens, and you can bring your own food/drinks in. Extremely safe and tranquil.
In-House Anon
Meadowlark Botanical Gardens in Vienna is beautiful right now.
Anon
Portrait Gallery could be an option if it is raining.
Shelle
Love this and the US Botanic Garden. There’s a corpse flower about to bloom! Parts of the District might be busier than usual this weekend because the embassies are open to the public, but that might also be an interesting option?
Anon in Arlington
Potomac Overlook Regional Park, or the parks further north on Military Road: Zachary Taylor Park or Gulf Branch Nature Center and Park
Anon
The Arboretum, on the big lawn by the columns.
Lulus Winegarden or The Royal in DC are both incredibly pleasant and if you went at an off time could stay for awhile to think and work.
If it’s rainy, the atrium of the Portrait Gallery is stunning and the most peaceful place in the city. Or Library of Congress though I’m not sure if you can get a same-day card to the reading room or need to do that in advance.
Anonymous Grouch
Drive south of Old Town Alexandria on the GW Parkway. There are spots to pull over and you can park and look out over the river. There are a couple of parks too. Even on a rainy day, quiet time in your care looking over the river would probably be very peaceful.
No Face
Clothes steamer recommendations? After a decade of heavy use, my steamer is nearing the end of its useful life.
Anon
Jiffy floor model. I love it like it’s my firstborn child.
NY CPA
I also have a Jiffy floor model. I’ve had it for probably 10 years and its a workhorse.
Anon
Have only ever had an iron and this looks tempting. Is it a replacement for an iron/ironing board or a supplement?
Anon
My husband maybe every 6 months wants a crisply ironed shirt and he will drag out the iron and board for that, and my daughter likes to iron our linens for Thanksgiving. So we maybe use the iron three times a year. I use the Jiffy steamer probably 3 times a week. I love it so much.
Anon
There was discussion here recently about paying for college. I know not many are willing to pay full freight for a private college given the expense.
The whole situation feels out of control, and I’m hopeful that there will be a shake-up before my kids head off to college in 12 years. It’s like at some point, people need to say “enough” to these skyrocketing prices and luxurious amenities colleges are offering. Yet, it seems like more and more people are willing to pay whatever it takes (finance it, in lieu of adequate retirement savings, etc).
On top of that, there’s the constant talk of student loan forgiveness, which of course actually encourage universities to keep hiking prices. I thought maybe COVID would force a reevaluation, but it seems like things are just continuing as usual. What’s everyone’s take on participating in this system? Is this just a necessary evil to get ahead or maintain your station in life?
Anon
Scott Galloway talks about this a lot. I don’t always agree with his solutions but I appreciate his take regardless.
https://medium.com/@profgalloway/super-drug-a5c7d98ab0c5
pink nails
+1 Scott Galloway’s perspective on this is one of the most interesting and refreshing takes on the higher education funding.
Anon
Agree 100%. Some schools are invested in maintaining their luxury brand status above all else.
Anon
My college was expensive, but worth it (average starting salary for new grads (across all colleges and majors) is 74k). I kind of prided myself that while it was expensive, it wasn’t really due to amenities – my mom commented that our dorms were pretty identical to hers 30 years prior. The school offered good financial aid, a good education, excellent opportunities and tended to place people into good jobs so it felt “worth the money”.
I went back to campus for the first time in 5+ years and saw that they’d torn down some old dorms to build new ones that are school affiliated but not operated, as is typical with this type of dorm they are very fancy and very expensive. I’m actually really disappointed in my school for having done so as it will only widen the gap between the haves and the have nots. At least before the dorms all cost roughly the same and we’re equally crappy and you couldn’t really pay your way into a better set up.
I also think crappy dorms are a rite of passage and just a good thing for everyone to experience. I know I sound old and crotchety (I’m 31) but it’s fun and good for everyone to have these crappy early adult experiences. I feel the same way about teenagers getting Invisalign instead of braces; it’s okay that not everything is perfect and you have a little very minor adversity. And then when you’re older and paying for it yourself you can splurge for the nicer apartment or the Invisalign
Anon
I don’t like a crappy vs. luxury dorm divide, but I’m not sure that putting everyone through the crappy dorm experience is the right answer either, if crappy involves poor sanitation or a bad environment for sleeping. Minor adversities for healthy teens can be major adversities for teens who are disabled or chronically ill, so there need to be some kind of options.
Anon
OTOH, a lazy river is a want, not a need.
Anon
I don’t think dorms need to be fancy, but they need to be clean and safe. I went to a school with crappy dorms where the roof literally fell onto someone’s bed and there was no air-conditioning in 100°. It wasn’t a quirky, fun bonding experience – it was unsafe and it made our lives worse. Mold and pest infestations were also common.
Anon
Solidarity on the A/C front from someone whose dorm room was facing west and on the third floor in Stockton CA.
Anon
Sorry, I was unclear what I meant by crappy dorms: older, smaller, not updated. Cinderblock walls, particle board furniture, ugly linoleum tile floor.
Dorms at my school were perfectly safe (no mold, structural issues, or anything actually bad).
Most dorms didn’t have AC, but I grew up an hour away and most middle class homes also didn’t have AC; there was maybe two warm weeks (high 70s at night) and then it cooled down.
Anon
Same. We had fans. I prefer old, cheap, and basic over new and expansive.
Anon
There are more hotter days now than when you were in school. Fans are unsafe for 100+ degrees in shared rooms, especially in humid climates. I don’t get this attitude of wanting people to suffer like you did.
Anon
idk that i really think of it as “participating in the system.” my twins turn 6 shortly so we are also 12 years away from college and are trying to save to pay full freight for a private college like our parents did for us, for which we are very very grateful. we will obviously have to see what kind of students they are, their interests, etc. maybe fewer fields will require a college degree? i’m curious to see how the protests actually impact enrollment and hiring from some of these schools and whether it ruins their reputation. i got a lot out of my college experience (both in terms of my career, my self development and the network I developed…and I met my husband and best friends there), but I also realize it was a huge privilege to walk away without debt (which is definitely not something i fully appreciated at the time). I am personally conflicted about loan forgiveness. On the one hand, I do sometimes feel like students are being sold a false bill of goods, but on the other hand, I feel like there is some responsibility to do your due diligence.
Anonymous
There is no tuition at the military academies.
Anon
Oh there is, you just pay it later.
Anon
You have to work for five years? And then 3 years of the reserves. In the military. In this climate.
Anon
Says someone without loved ones serving in the military. The cost can be pretty darned high.
Anon
I doubt anything will change soon — private college was exorbitantly expensive when I went more than 20 years ago and people only went by having rich or very frugal upper middle class parents, being genuinely poor and qualifying for need-based aid, or going hugely in debt with loans. One of those options is terrible and the other two aren’t available to most people.
One positive change is that there’s actually more aid for the upper middle class at elite colleges than there was when I applied to college. My husband and I have a $200k household income and have a very comfortable life in a LCOL area, but according to most of the fancy private college financial aid calculators, we would qualify for significant (~$30-40k/year) need-based aid. Even with the aid, it would still cost more than State U, but not that much more. Of course, the odds our kids get into these kind of schools are low, and if they don’t, they’ll be fine at a public university or a less selective private where they can get merit aid. But it’s a big change from when I applied.
Anon
While this is not universally true, it seems many of the schools with the very fancy amenities (and tuitions to match) aren’t as strong academically or job placement / starting salary wise.
I am in my late 20s and went to a school that offered a fancy education but not a fancy campus. Quite literally everyone I know is doing something impressive (and mostly lucrative, but those who aren’t in lucrative jobs work in prestigious public service jobs). Coming out of school if you wanted a job in the Big 4, you pretty much got it. Plenty of friends at FAANG. I have multiple friends working as engineers at NASA and one who is a Foreign Service Officer. Plenty of friends with MDs, JDs, and PhDs from good programs as well.
My youngest sibling is 24, went to a good undergrad that set him up well for both his Masters and the workforce. He’s going into education so prioritized minimizing his loans so his school also lacked the fancy amenities. However, many of his friends from high school ended up at schools that are meh at best academically but the campuses are essentially resorts. Two years out of school and they’re all employed but at jobs they all admit they don’t like, aren’t the type of career they wanted, and no one can really afford to move out so they all live at home (I too lived at home for 18 months after I graduated, but I did so to payoff the entirety of my 25k in student loans; I could have moved out from the get go if I wanted to).
For example, his friend went to a school with an 80% acceptance rate with a 65% graduation rate. School is a private school with a very fancy campus (there is a steakhouse on campus that’s part of the meal plan and dorms have resort style pools). The friend is an office administrator making 40k…
Well, I wouldn’t necessarily say my undergrad was worth it, just because I don’t think any school can really be worth $70,000 a year, at least everyone I know is well employed and doing well. And frankly, it’s a hard school to get in so if you can get in there, you’re probably going to be successful and can deal with the loans. But then there are these schools that are easy to get into, char and arm and alike, the main point of appeal of the schools is not the academics or what you can do after, and then you’re stuck like my brother‘s friend.
Anon
I think things get screwed up when the administrative staff gets super bloated. That’s a lot of salaries, benefits, and busywork (in a lot of cases). On the one hand, I want there to be more high-paying career jobs out there, but on the other, it’s absolutely insane that there are such high costs while having 2-3 different departments of 80 staff each that all do roughly the same thing. It’s also a joke that some schools have literal asbestos in the ceiling and mold problems and worse in the dorms and they’re charging 100K per year.
Cat
I think kids need to learn about ROI for their intended degree and school. Like my parents were willing to pay full freight for an Ivy (and practical major) but would not pay for a mid-tier school that was almost as expensive. I could go to the state school instead that was similar in rank on their dime.
Anon
Yes my parents were clear there were certain schools they’d help pay for and if I didn’t get into one of those I could go in state. Luckily their list wasn’t just Ivy; I went to a Patriot League school that they were happy to help pay for. My brother started at a school they helped pay for, failed out and then did community college + transfer to local state school. He paid for everything post failing out on his own.
I was allowed to major in a social science / humanity but had to explain my career plan to my parents before they agreed to pay for things. My brother, being less focused than I was, was given choices but not the free reign I had when choosing a major.
Regardless of where I went, my parents couldn’t pay full tuition so that was never part of the conversation.
Anonymous
I’ve been surprised to find a lot of my own thoughts echoed here — either top flight private school or state school, no between. Who is paying 6 figures to go to Random University, especially somewhere random? I’m sure they have appealing campuses and decent educations, but… not for that price. I feel like that’s what we’ve lost, a good middle pricing tier.
I know in Who Gets In and Why, he talks about how “sticker price” is just that, with a lot of schools offering coupons or essentially buy-3-years-get-1-free deals, but still…
I know at my T14 alma mater the deans always talk about how 85% of the students don’t pay the sticker price, which then makes me feel like it’s a ridiculous tax on the rich — but then the poorer people aren’t getting away with a huge value either, at least without huge loans and crazy interest. It’s so, so broken.
Anon
The solution for us was in-state public college, and it has worked out well.
I’d also be open to the community college to university transfer program. My son goes to a UC right now but would have been able to get into “better” UCs if he’d done it. He also did not have freshman dorm experience I thought was so important. His roommates were ok but they were not besties. Looking back I’d recommend the cc thing.
marise
I think it depends on your kid. My kid was in high school during the Covid years and really needed the dorm/fraternity college experience, so it was best for him to attend UC all four years. Others who might not find the college dorm life as important should consider the community college experience. UCs and state schools are still affordable as compared to the private tuition costs. But I agree that spending half a million (or taking out loans) to send your kid to a private little known college is pretty nuts.
Anon
My kid was also in HS during Covid and his freshman dorm was almost the same thing as remote learning (which several classes still were.) No one socialized at all. Now that he’s a junior he has friends in his off campus apartment but it took this long for it to gel.
Anon
I think the use of the community college route in California will likely go up, but not necessarily for great reasons. I think some kids are very emotionally immature at 18 and not ready to live independently – or in some cases their parents aren’t ready to let them go. My brother went this route and it was fine for him. He was really immature and needed to learn responsibility. I just don’t think that should be the ideal route for *most* kids.
Anon
I think going away to college at 18 is the best thing that can happen to most kids. From my observations, today’s kids are just so much less independent than my friends and I were ( and we’re not that much older) and I think that freedom and forced independence is great.
Anon
The community college route is an eventuality. It’s how they’re going to make room to educate more students. It’s clear that this is the plan for the state, and many states other than CA.
Anon
I hope something changes over the next 17 years, before my first kid starts college. But I’m not hopeful it will be a whole scale change of the college funding model, which is needed. My hunch is that it’s more likely that the top tier private colleges keep raising prices and give out more need based aid to a wide range of schools. A lot of lower tier private colleges will go out of business, and then ones that stay will be more expensive but with lots of merit aid. Public colleges will just keep getting more selective, because the price difference between public and private will keep growing.
I think it will be a lot more common for upper middle class families to send their kids to public schools. In many states, daycare costs more than tuition at the flagship state universities. And that’s what many families can stretch their budgets to afford.
Anonymous
Student loan forgiveness is one of the most irksome conversations out there at the moment to me.
Anonymous
I highly recommend watching a recent John Oliver segment on the topic. The way the loan system is set up is almost predatory. I had no idea. I’m an Old whose parents helped pay for my education, and it really opened my eyes to just how different dynamics are these days and the significant hole that even average people pursuing practical majors at reasonably priced schools face. I wish more people knew–a lot of the stereotypes about spoiled lib arts folks just aren’t the reality.
Anonymous
Below is the link. What was eye opening to me was the way the lending environment has shifted since I was in school, how the debt is treated differently than other types of debt, and how the job market has shifted to create more of a problem. I also think there is a lot of manipulation of emotion around the topic— when government money was going to the schools it was very different, or when businesses get loan forgiveness. Having someone pay for their education more than three fold because of predatory lending is not someone who needs to stop wasting money on lattes and tattoos https://youtu.be/zN2_0WC7UfU?feature=shared
Anon
How so?
Anon
I really wish they had framed the entire conversation around forgiving accumulated interest. A lot of people who graduated into the recession really are in a difficult position with interest, and the lenders have already profited a ton.
Anonymous
1000% agree – interest should be capped in % and capped at maybe 2 or 3x (4x?) what you borrowed, periodt
I think the interest should be forgiven, not the loans – that’s a harder sell for me.
Anon
I’m completely agree with forgiving interest but not the full loan. I think you essentially bought something and you should have to pay for it, but the interest seems excessive to me.
towelie
it doesn’t actually solve the systemic issues and feels like a slap in the face for people who worked hard to pay them off or refinanced :(
Anon
I feel that too. I paid off my substantial loans (no parent support for college) and then scraped and saved for my own kids’ tuition, which meant a lot less “lifestyle” for my family vs others.
There is a lot of unfairness to the idea of just *poof* all debt is gone. Should we have been taking vacations to Tahiti all along instead of saving (a substantial chunk of our incomes) for our children’s futures?
Anon
But for that to be unfair assumes that the people whose loans are being forgiven were going to Tahiti or otherwise frittering away money they could have saved for college or spent on loans. That is not at all the case for any of the many people I know with significant student loans. It’s okay to wish you hadn’t had to pay your debt, but why not just be happy for people who may get this extraordinary opportunity?
Anon
Debt forgiveness is as old as civilization. Nothing is fair, but jubilees can benefit everyone.
Anon
College financial aid calculators have always penalized people who save, that long predates recent loan forgiveness efforts. Basically any savings you have (outside of retirement, which is sheltered) reduce your aid dollar for dollar. My parents scrimped and saved on very modest incomes to amass the quarter million dollars needed to send me to an Ivy at the sticker price. When I went to college I met lots of much richer people who had gotten substantial need-based scholarships because their parents didn’t save a dime for college.
This is definitely a factor in my husband and me not saving as much as we could.
Anon
*not saving as much as we could, specificially for college for our kids. We’re saving as much as we can for retirement but, as noted, that’s sheltered from college financial aid calculations.
Anonymous
This is such a boomer response. People aren’t going to Tahiti. People have paid what the owe twice over, but 7 percent interest over decades means they are stuck paying way more than they took out.
Anon
Congratulations on finding out how interest rate works. I also paid around 7%. And I paid them off. And I’m not a boomer – such a lazy “gotcha”. Gen X here.
Anon
But any positive change to society is going to impact some people disproportionately. It sucks if you can’t benefit from it too, but it’s not a reason not to make the change. I’m not against universal daycare even though I had to pay the equivalent of college tuition in daycare bills (seriously – my kids went to daycare at a public university, and pre-K tuition was significantly more than undergrad in-state tuition). Prohibitively expensive childcare is a huge problem in this country, and I’d be happy if it was addressed and all the people with kids younger than mine benefited. I don’t see why college financial aid/loans are any different.
Anon
I think something that’s different is that the more generous student loan forgiveness proposals disproportionately benefit richer people — it’s a big reason why the Biden administration pushed for a 10k plan but not the 50k version. You can have any perfectly “fair” program for anything because that’s not how the world works, but I think it’s worth being skeptical about the overall fairness of large scale loan forgiveness
Nesprin
This is such a baffling take to me- do you get mad when people get food from food banks as well?
Anonymous
I firmly believe that a big part of the solution is to limit the availability of student and especially parent loans. It artificially increases the supply of available tuition dollars, enabling colleges to charge more than the market would otherwise bear.
As someone who made huge sacrifices (including college savings for my daughter, who has amazing grades and SAT scores but will attend a lower-ranked college that offers merit aid) to pay off my grad school loans in full, I don’t think it’s equitable to forgive loans except through programs such as PSLF.
anon
+1 that the wide availability of loans for programs where the ROI just isn’t there is a contributor to disproportionate debt. I too would be in favor of limiting the availability of loans when the payments are likely to be a burden given the average jobs of graduates of the program. There might be a few remaining colleges that cater to the less qualified children of rich parents, but a lot of colleges would then be forced to control their costs.
Anon
I work in government, so prestige of your undergrad doesn’t really matter for our hiring. As a result, we have fresh grads working in our office from a wide, wide range of schools. I will say, I am overall not impressed with the basic skills of many of our grads, even from schools that are deemed to be decent enough, such as our states flagship university. What’s frustrating is a lot of the stuff I’m not very impressed by is more basic skills such as reading comprehension, critical thinking, and writing skills, not office norms or professionalism.
I will say, any kid we’ve had from maybe the 30 or 40 schools in the country has been excellent. Kids from middling school, such as our state’s better public universities are not what I would expect from a college grad but they do fine enough. Students from our state’s less prestigious public universities and local private universities are generally awful writers with unimpressive reading comprehension.
I cannot use undergrad institution as a decision point when hiring, but I will say the correlation I’ve seen between type of university, attended and performance and skills at work, mean that there are only a handful of universities I would encourage my kids to go to. It is shocking to me that people actually pay for a so-called education from so many of these schools.
Anon
I agree. Some of our new hires fresh out of college can barely write a coherent sentence. They’ll literally write things like “And the program, was effective; however it will expire, and then, it Will not exist.” Some of them graduated from UCLA!
Anon
Haha: did you mean to say “any kid we’d had from maybe the TOP 30 or 40 schools in the country has been excellent”? Your own writing skill are lacking in the paragraph above!
Anon
Snarking on a typo when you’ve made one yourself – self-own!
Anon
Owned. I freely admit most adults will make typographical errors from time to time. I also don’t castigate an entire generation (with minimal exceptions) as being non-functional in communicating. I have seen excellent writers from many schools outside of the top 30-40. That’s just a laughable overgeneralization. So kids graduating from Emory can’t write? NYU? Skidmore? Lehigh? This thread is evidence of the fact that we are the enemy in the college arms race. If you think your kid cannot get a worthwhile education outside of the top 50 US schools, yes, you will be driven to pay for it however you can. We have met the enemy and it is us.
Anon
I see your point, but I have to agree with that poster that the younger people in our office are almost universally struggling with writing. I don’t know what the problem is exactly because they are clearly all very intelligent people, but we literally cannot use their writing in any products without extensive editing for things like run-on sentences, incorrect capitalization, incoherent points, and worse.
Anon
Really depends on what agency. It very much matters for some.
Anon
Yeah I did a double-take at “I work in government, so prestige of your undergrad doesn’t really matter for our hiring.”!
It matters a ton in my agency.
Anon
Same
Anon
I think it’s very important to look at universities’ outcome reports or first destination surveys. These report on percentage of students employed, pursuing further education, pursuing service or other opportunities (military, Americorps), or still searching. It also usually includes information like average salary and something I think it’s very important is that it shows a sampling of what types of employers and graduate schools the students matriculate to.
If the types of employers listed on that list are not very impressive or don’t appear that they would pay well enough to provide a decent ROI, then you know to avoid that school. Also, many companies only recruit from certain universities and so this is a good way to check if a company your child may be interested in recruits from their school.
Anon
Isn’t it the worst kept secret that college is a route to immigration? That’s why they can charge so much.
ABanon
Tell me more? Because it’s a path for (presumably wealthy) foreign students? Who then have to find a local job to stay?
Isn’t a worst kept secret something everyone knows? I’m not sure it’s so obvious.
Anon
This is not really true. Foreign students (or their parents) think it is, but unless you are graduating as an engineer, nurse or physical therapist and can find an employer willing to sponsor you (not a given), it’s just not. I have multiple kids in my orbit who wish it were the case. There are not many routes to legal immigration into the U.S. “My” boys’ best bet is really to marry an American girl they meet in college.
Anon
I don’t think so… At public universities foreign tuition is normally very similar to domestic out of state tuition.The real discount is for being in-state. If foreign students were willing to pay so much more than domestic out of state students, why wouldn’t they raise tuition on them?
AIMS
No.
Anecdata
It’s not a for-sure or easy path to immigration, but if you are a smart motivated kid who wants to work in the US and who’s parents can send you, it’s easier than the (almost non existent) alternatives
Anonymous
I have flat duck feet with bunions and narrow ankles — can anyone recommend any cute shoes? I feel like I get stuck wearing the same styles because finding something I’m not walking out of or being squooshed is too hard. (Just got Sorel rain boots and hoo I’m hoping the toes loosen up a bit.)
Anon
Loafers and slip-on shoes are hard for duck feet. I stick to sneakers or sandals (ideally with an ankle strap) once the weather warms up. If you’re looking for closed toe shoes then buy real leather and have a cobbler stretch them near the ball of your foot.
Digby
I have similar feet. Cute is hard. Look at Vivaia – I have their almond toe flats and they’re pretty comfortable. Haven’t walked a ton in them yet, though.
Also, I have a pair of low-heel slingbacks from C. Pavarano that are decent. And square-toe slingbacks from Bared Footwear. And from Vionic.
In summer, I wear a lot of Toni Pons espadrilles. In winter, all of the Blondo boots.
I spent a lot of time trying various lug-sole loafers (I know – not a great fit for duck feet, but sometimes I like a quest). The Samuel Hubbard loafer came so close to working, so if you don’t have super-narrow heels, they might work for you.
Also, check out Sole Bliss – I haven’t bought from them, but they have a few cute styles.
Annie Q
I bought almond flats from Vivaia with almond bow accessories. I wanted to return the bows and exchange the shoes for navy. Their return portal did not provide any way to return one item and exchange another, and I went through several email exchanges before someone finally told me just to put the bows in with the shoes (without getting the return authorized) and the bows would be refunded. The bows got refunded, but the shoes did not get refunded or exchanged. I had to dispute the charge on my credit card which fortunately was successful without any difficulty. For me, the moral of the story is to not buy from Vivaia, but if you do, make each purchase separately.
Anon
Update from Chapter 13…I posted the other day all jazzed up about saving $20k by the end of the year. Well, I was wrong about my new government salary, which made all of my calculations wrong. I had been receiving some payments for one-time things that were included in my salary. My real amount going forward is going to be a lot lower, and I will only be able to save about $5k by the end of the year. I guess my goal is still $20k, but it will take a lot longer to achieve now :(
Senior Attorney
Aw, that’s so disappointing! But getting into the habit of saving is the most important thing! You are doing great!
Cat
$5K ahead is better than $5K behind.
Also, now is the time to look at your paycheck and make sure everything is correct.
Anon
It still so great you have a plan in place, and that you were more informed before being further down this path, even if the numbers are lower. It’s not nothing! Thanks for the update and keep at it! Good luck with your new position.
Anonymous
I’ve been watching these posts. Everyone says “great job”, “go you”, and the ubiquitous therapy solution.
I want to shake you and say: Wake up! What you need is money. Don’t take a lower paying job. You took a job in your situation not knowing exactly how much it pays? Unbelievable. The intent to save it grea,t but you need more money. Get a second job. Work your a— off. You can do it, but you are on the wrong track.
Anon
Getting a second job doesn’t do anything in a chapter 13 because it will all go to the trustee. You don’t get to keep the money. This isn’t like a lump sum that you get to pay off early. You are bound to the 60 month plan. Any increases in income will increase the payment.
Anon
Don’t you get out of bankruptcy faster if you can pay it off sooner though? I completely agree. Women continually take lower paying jobs for “reasons” and it’s head scratching. Maximize your earning potential and you’ll avoid a lot of these issues.
Anon
No, you do not get out of Chapter 13 if you can pay it off faster. If you can pay more, the trustee thinks you can afford more and increases your payment for the rest of the 60 months.
Runcible Spoon
If you have filed for bankruptcy and you are in a plan, you don’t “pay it off,” ever; you pay on the plan, and then it is over, and your creditors get what they get and the remainder is discharged, i.e., does not get paid off.
Chapter 13, just follow your plan, one foot in front of the other, one step at a time. And congratulations!
Anonymous
I don’t disagree that getting more money is more better. That said, I think you’ve failed to carefully read the post, as happens often on this board. OP was getting paychecks that include one-time payments for specific things. Not realizing that, she thought her paychecks going forward would be similar, did her savings calculations, and then realized the error. Some of the admonishments are misapplied.
Anonymous
Who takes a job and doesn’t know the monthly salary. How can you budget?
Anon
I’ve never known what my actual paycheck would be until I got one. I don’t think that’s odd. Of course you have a sense based on the pre-tax salary in the offer letter, but if you’re talking exact dollar amounts I think it’s normal to not know what it will be until taxes and other deductions are taken out.
Anonymous
Some people.come from a place of encouragement and support me from a place of punishment. Stake your claim to a position.
Anon
I don’t mean to be unkind but the regular chapter 13 poster is pretty clearly not financially literate. She’s trying! Most people aren’t all that financially literate.
Anonymous
Not knowing your monthly take home pay is the definition of financially illiterate.
Anon
I think what Chapter 13 needs is to spend less. The root problem is overspending, and her situation won’t change unless she gets that under control. I think the new job and salary are red herrings.
Anon
How do you know she hasn’t gotten that under control?
Anon
Because she posted about binge spending recently.
Anon
OP here. I’m not sure what post you’re referring to, but I have not posted about binge spending recently. There’s nothing for me to spend.
Anon
https://corporette.com/relaxed-fit-oversize-blazer/#comment-4506350
Anon
That’s not recent at all.
cc
So 5k is still a good start but I’m very confused about this. Did they change the salary? Do you have an offer letter? If they are reducing your salary there absolutely needs to be more follow up and discussion on it.
Anon
The amount of deductions on a federal paycheck are pretty high compared to private sector and state gov’t jobs I’ve had. It’s a bit of sticker shock at first if you’re not expecting it. Hopefully the OP is on a position with a good ladder and will be at a considerably higher salary in a year or two.
Anon
My federal salary has gone up by over $50k since 2020 and is now at the level I was making in house.
Anon
Hi everyone. Chapter 13/OP here. I’ve been thinking about whether to respond to some of the rude comments (and did respond to one that was outright false – I have not been binge spending), but I’ll just say this – the anon who wants to “shake” me clearly doesn’t know how chapter 13 works (thanks to the poster who explained it). I do work hard. I work my ass off at my dream job and I don’t need to prove that to anyone. I also did know my annual salary, for the record, I just didn’t know all of the deductions that would be taken out (which, as another poster pointed out, are a LOT on a federal paycheck). I revisited this page because I was getting needed support, but trying to tear me down when knowing nothing about how chapter 13 works isn’t helpful. So I won’t be posting here for a while (if ever again). Thanks to those who have helped me over the last year and a half of this journey.
Anon
I’m sorry this happened. People can be so cruel when they think they are being oh so clever hidden behind a keyboard. I’m impressed with how well you are handling this, not just the financial part but the psychological part as well. I hope you continue to string successes together and can fell some of us cheering you on.
Anon
In case you see this – I hope things keep going well for you! It sounds like you are making smart decisions, and $5k is a great start to your savings habit. Cheering you on from afar!
Anonymous
Bye
Anon
I posted before but seeing if there are any other suggestions before I purchase. I’m looking for a backpack style bag that I can take to the office, even though I’m 90% wfh, and has one of those trolley straps so I can also take it on a plane and have it sit nicely on my carry on bag. Doesn’t have to leather or heavy because I do have a log. Walk to the office when I do go in. Budget is $150. Thinking about the one below.
https://shop.samsonite.com/backpacks/laptop-backpacks/mobile-solution-deluxe-backpack/1281721041.html
Anon
I bought a Tumi backpack on Poshmark that looks professional enough for work and has a trolley strap.
anon
That bag looks very nice, but if you want something even less pricey (but still a workhorse), I have this one and love it. Use it for trips to the office as well as travel (I’m also 90% WFH). https://www.everlane.com/products/womens-renew-backpack-no-label-kalamata?collection=womens-shoes-accessories
Anonymous
The Samsonite bag is $25 cheaper at Macy’s.
Anon
This is why I post on this board! Thank you!!!!
Anon
That’s a lovely bag! Looks a lot like Tumu but maybe even more practical.
Nesprin
Costco has a baggalini backpack that hits all those requirements
Clementine
So I was trying to cram some random tasks in while half asleep this morning. Things to not rush: waxing one’s brows. I’ve done this for years; however, today was the day where I accidentally took off the back half… I had my strips angles a little too much so… I now look slightly insane.
Thank god for eyebrow pencil. Any other random fails that you’re just laughing at?
Anonymous
Forgot to shave the back of one leg, and didn’t notice until I was out in public.
Anon
Please share your tips and tricks for smelling great. I saw a friend last night who smelled so good, even another friend commented on it. I know that one trick is to layer, but what would you layer? Would love specific product recommendations. TIA!
Anon
Wash your hair every day or every other day. If you wash your hair once a week, trust me, it smells. Especially when you douse it in dry shampoo to mask it.
Cat
+1
also, if I can smell your perfume when I am more than like 1 foot away from you, it’s too much.
Anonymous
You do you, but I’ve only washed my hair once a week for the last 10 years. It doesn’t smell.
Anon
Same.
Anon
I’m not personally insulting you, but everyone’s hair picks up pollen, pollutants (particulate matter), sweat, and food smells.
Anonymous
This. I also think that most people don’t have an accurate sense of how much they may smell since they’re with there own smell most of the time. Like when I return from a trip, I can smell the chemicals on our floor even though I don’t notice it day to day. And stinky hair is way more common than BO, yet few folks care about it the same way. If you’re working out in any sort of way, you’re hair needs to be washed frequently.
Anon
I have a really oily scalp and hair and even with allergies I hate how it smells if I dont wash it daily.
Anon
Yes, it does actually. You’re just used to it.
Anonymous
I’m working up to the 1x a week wash – I’m currently like 4-7 days. My hair does look a lot better if I cowash midweek but I don’t need to for oils the way I did when I was younger. I’m 48 now, I feel like age is a huge factor.
Anon
My hair smells if I don’t wash it (I’ve noticed this when down with the flu before), but I have friends who do a blow out once a week and their hair smells fine just fine to me even right before wash day. Maybe it matters how much someone sweats or how healthy they are?
Anonymous
No one with curly hair is washing their hair every day.
Lestat
Not true. Naturally quite curly hair and I wash my hair essentially everyday. If I skip a rare day, I feel disgusting and oily until I shower. It’s annoying to air dry my hair everyday, but I do it.
roxie
I have curly hair wash almost every day! I only skip if I’m wfh and no important meetings and can just keep it in a low messy bun.
I swear, everybody who doesn’t wash their hair often thinks we can’t tell but I promise you we can. When I look around, most 30s-40s white women’s hair looks greasy and kind of gross. You’re just used to it.
Anonymous Grouch
I have really nice 3A curls, and I wash my hair daily, or at least on any day I’m not just putting it up in a sloppy ponytail. Wash and condition, put in products (leave in conditioner, styling lotion), and it dries in the car on the way to work. (It’s shoulder length FWIW). It looks fantastic – I get compliments all the time. When I *don’t* wash it for several days it gets really dry, and feels stiff and my scalp gets itchy.
I just don’t get this recent trend where it’s some sort of life goal to not wash your hair. Yes, restyling curly hair after a wash, especially if you air dry it, can be time consuming, and I get wanting to have it look nice for a couple of days without re-doing it, but this idea that never washing it is some sort of goal or signal of virtue doesn’t make any sense. And yes, honestly, we can smell your hair. Don’t kid yourself.
Worried
+1. I have 3a /b Curley hair and I prefer to wash it every day, or every other day if I’m too tired. The curls are very spiraled when I wash it everyday, and flatten out when I leave it. Even when I sleep on a silk scarf, or pineapple my hair, it looks best right after washing. The curls get flattened if I don’t wash.., though I can wet the hair and add more product if needed. I also don’t like the build up of product if I don’t wash my hair. My curls also get uneven when I don’t wash, or sleep on one side, that I end up using a curling iron to even them out after day two if.i don’t wash. It is just easier to wash it than try workarounds for styling.
Anon
Oh gosh I have curly hair and washing every morning is a must! It gets so bleh after sleeping on it it needs the reset. Probably depends onthe type of curly hair though, I can just let mine air dry. (Or maybe you mean people with curly hair that always straighten it? Then yes, agreed).
Anon
You don’t necessarily need to wash every morning. You can just wet it.
2bu
1. Fragrance free laundry detergent. Use detergents with enzymes to remove odor. Avoid adding scents with laundry soap/additives.
2. Clean skin and hair.
3. Scented lotion. Choose one note – vanilla, floral, lavendar, etc.
4. Perfume. This is so personal, one person’s favorite is another person’s least favorite.
Anon
+1, especially to the clean hair thing. Add white vinegar to the wash. I put rubbing alcohol in a spray bottle and use it on the armpit of stinky fabrics before my shirt goes in the hamper.
Anon
I’m currently annoyed because I just did a whole load of wash that still smells like sweat to me. It wasn’t an oversized load. Is the detergent not as “HE” as it claims? Did I leave it sitting in the hamper too long (likely)? Or maybe I need the rubbing alcohol or a separate additional enzyme cleaner? I’ll have to re-wash it so I’ll get a chance to experiment one way or another.
Anon
Nature’s Miracle (the stuff sold for pet stain and odor removal) is great for salvaging funky/stained laundry like this. I pretreat and then wash as normal.
Anonymous
For synthetic performance fabrics, regular detergent will not remove the stink. You need a specialty detergent like Hex or Sportwash.
Work Phone
And air out your closets often!
Anonymous
Clean clothing. Not washing jeans, not washing sweaters often enough….
Elegant Giraffe
Advice/resources needed! I am getting an executive assistant. This is pretty unusual in my field, and there aren’t any strong models in my office. The woman who has been assigned to me has been employed at the company for several years, is very under-utilized, and not who I would have hired. I would like to have her manage my calendar, do initial email intake, attend critical meetings and take notes, and tag her to a couple of projects at a time that need more administrative support. Can folks point me to resources that would help me learn how to structure this? Would also love your best advice, so that I can learn from your experience.
Anonymous
Taking meeting notes, managing a calendar, and doing email screening don’t sound very challenging for someone who has been “very under-utilized.” Is she capable of more?
Elegant Giraffe
She might be. I think she’s been allowed to be very reactive over the last several years and has probably been working closer to 25 hours than 40. What else would you suggest?
Anonymous Canadian
Wouldn’t that still be 25 hours less for you to work, though? I’d say focus on her strengths and try to make her a partner! You could both have success this way!
Elegant Giraffe
That’s great reframing. Don’t know why I hadn’t thought about it like that. Thank you.
Flats Only
Consider whether having her sit in meeting and take notes, and do project management for you, will impact her ability to keep up with your email and calendar. I am an EA, and it’s either / or – either I can focus on your inbox and keeping your calendar/travel/expenses straight, or I can do project management tasks and sit in meetings. I can’t do both – if I’m in the same meeting as you all afternoon, how am I supposed to keep up with your incoming emails? Also, if this is someone you look down on, as your post implies (“not who I would have hired”) save her and yourself a lot of grief and ask for someone different. She will know immediately that you are coming into it pre-dissatisfied with her.
Elegant Giraffe
I don’t look down on her – but she is not who I would have hired. Both of those things can be true.
I appreciate the input on balancing, especially since it’s pretty different than what the PP shared. Hmmm.
Anonymous
This really depends on how many meetings you are talking about and how busy your calendar is. Think about a ballpark guideline of how much of her time you’d like spent on each- eg. 60/40 or whatever. Let her know that’s what you are thinking, then ask her to keep track of how much time she spends on what you assign her. Have frequent 1:1quick check-ins to start, letting her know it’s just to make sure you are giving her a reasonable amount of work. Before you add a new task type, ask her what she has on her plate and how much capacity she has. When you assign tasks, ask her how long she thinks something will take, then check in and see if that was accurate.
If she hasn’t been an EA before, this will be a learning curve for her too.
Anon
Have software take the notes and have her manager the inbox, calendar and do project management if she is capable. Inbox management and calendar is not a full time job in my mind but she may need time to build her skills.
Anon
Question. There was something posted earlier this week that I was interested in possibly buying. I am trying to go back and find the post (it was Monday or Tuesday) it is not on the front page and when I go to the next page of posts I get a pop-up that asks me to sign in with either Facebook or Google to ‘access the article’. The pop-up has the Corporette logo, so it seems legit. Is there no other way to look back at older posts? All I want to do is buy something, but I need the link!
ABanon
I think you can circumvent this by waiting for a second, then clicking anywhere on the page besides the pop up and scrolling down … hope this works
Kat G
I’m going to have to talk with my ad company about those Google things, I’m not a fan either. You should be able to go to the second or third (or 500th page) without any info. You can also click the category at the top of the post (morning = clothes = “personal shopper”, afternoon = accessories = “coffee break”, also suit of the week) – that takes you just to the pages with either clothes, accessories, or suits.
Anon
I bought a pair of my favorite pants from eBay (they were discontinued by the brand) and they were very lightly used, which is true. However, the seller clearly uses some extremely fragrant laundry detergent that I haven’t been able to get out with 7+ washes, including inside out and with vinegar one time. Is this hopeless? Do I have to get rid of them? I’m sensitive to fragrance at the best of times but even more so in the first trimester of pregnancy.
Vicky Austin
Hang out in the sun for an afternoon, maybe?
VVex
I’m cursed with a sensitive nose, too–which started in pregnancy and never went away. I also love to thrift and buy secondhand.
What works for me is baking soda. Run a small load–hot as the fabric can take–and add about a cup of baking soda, along with a small amount of unscented detergent. You can also add a few drops of an essential oil like lemon or eucalyptus, if there’s a light scent you can tolerate. Agitate for a minute to mix it up. Then in with the smelly pants. Let them soak for at least 2-3 hours in there, popping on the agitation every twenty minutes or so if your machine will allow it.
Then run out the cycle + an extra rinse cycle. Air dry in the sun if possible.
This just worked for me on an ebay trench coat last week that arrived smoky and was still smoky after a regular wash. Good luck–and congratulations!
Anonymous
Soak and wash with Borax!!
Anonymous
Google Charcoal Air Purifying Bags. If you put the pants in a plastic bag with one or two of these charcoal bags in a week the smell will be gone.
Anon
Thanks all!!
AnonNL
I hit 40 earlier this year and noticed some changes in my period and am wondering if it could be perimeno. The following lines may be TMI, so feel free to skip reading.
I am taking pregabalin for back/nerve pain, so I wouldn’t have noticed any sleep changes or mood swings. However, my current period started as a dark brown discharge and is more viscous. My hair became extremely dry in last few months. And both issues could be hormone-related. For reference, my mom went to menopause at the age of 60, so I was expecting mine to start at 70 :)
Would be interested to know how the perimenopause start for women on this board. Thanks!
Anonymous
I feel like this board is quick to jump to peri. I understand why that is, and it comes from a good place (peri/meno is under-recognized, under-researched, under-treated, etc.), but 40 is somewhat early as a start (but not unusual!, just not “average”), so I would not assume that is the explanation. Also, you can undergo hormonal issues that are not actually perimenopause. This may be an unpopular opinion, but given the symptoms you’ve noted, and if those are the only ones, I would treat the dry hair and watch to see if there are other indicators of some other issue (which may include perimenopause).
As to your inquiry about the start of peri, I am 50, and I have had 7 periods in the last 12 mos, had dry hair/hair loss much o 2023 that seems to have subsided in 2024, and have in 2024 experienced some of the outlier symptoms that are only now being identified as potentially peri-related (tooth pain, itchy ears, random shoulder pain pangs,and worst – debilitating and unexplained fatigue).
Anon
Perimenopause most commonly begins between the ages of 40 to 44, so OP is actually not really that young for it, just the younger side of average. It can start as early as mid-30s and as late as your 50s. It’s common for it to last 8 to 10 years, so starting perimenopause doesn’t mean your period is going to disappear imminently.
Anon
Talk to your doctor. And yes, that TMI.
Anon
Disagree its TMI. This is a board with lots of other women, and there aren’t many places like this, so I think that with the warning, this was fine.
Anon
I’m late 30s and in early peri according to my doctor. My main change so far has been shorter and more irregular cycles. I often go <21 days from the start of one period to the next, so it feels like I’m always bleeding.
AnonNL
Thank you all!
Quad
I’ve gotten to a place in my (fairly visible) career where I get asked *a lot* to help connect young people and newcomers moving to my city with professional in my large network. After a few recent awards that I’ve won, this has seriously intensified.
When there were fewer requests, I’d do a 30 minute call and connect someone with 2-3 people. But it’s gotten really overwhelming. I want to pay-it-forward somewhat. Looking for advice on helping but scaling back what that looks like.
Anon
Is the purpose of the 30 minute call to get them to make sure they are a real, not insane person before passing them on to your network? Can you systematically cut this to 15 minutes? Like literally fake a meeting at the end and say you have a hard stop. Can you make some criteria as to who you do this for and who you don’t? Hopefully something you can apply systematically so you don’t have to hem and haw each one. Finally, can you utilize an admin/EA/ChatGPT to craft and maybe even send the intro emails?
Anon
Vet not get
Anecdata
Can you put together a 1 page “X industry in Y city” guide with more self serve resources (a few industry blogs you follow, a useful meetup, this annual conference is always great” and email it to all requesters? Frame it warmly: “I get so many requests for help breaking into this field that I just can’t meet with everyone, as much as I would like to!”
Alternatively, are there a few junior people in your world who would like to get some of these calls? It can be good exposure to them/help them build their own network, and IMO if the advice requesters are early career, sometimes talking to the 2-years-in associate is more useful than the VP
Anonymous
Decide how many of these calls you can do in a week or month, and then open up that many slots for them. When the slots are full, they’re full. If someone really wants this networking, they can get on your calendar for the next opening.
Anon
I get this a lot too. People connect with me via my professional acquaintances so I get a note that says “can you talk to this kid of my friend about your field?” Generally I try to do it and keep it to 15 minutes. Fortunately, there is a lot of information about how to get into the field on the internet, so I direct them to what I think is one of the best websites for it, and wish them luck.
If it’s someone more experienced, then I have to make it clear that I’m not hiring and not planning to. Sometimes an experienced person wants to connect with me so I can introduce them to my connections, which I’m not willing to do if I didn’t know you before this email or phone call. Me introducing you to my connectons is like me giving you my stamp of approval, which I’m not going to do if I don’t know you.