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Updated: Oct 30, 2018 92 Comments · by

Coffee Break: Mini Triangle Bag

Coffee Break

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They can be rather impractical if you've got a lot of stuff to tote around, but I do like the wave of mini purses that are out right now — so many of them are more interesting than your typical crossbody, and great if you want something polished but little. This red triangular one from Aesther Ekme (a brand founded by an Alexander Wang alum) looks fabulous — it's $425 at Amazon, Shopbop, and Matches. AESTHER EKME Women's Mini Triangle Bag This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

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Comments

  1. cat socks

    When you get a manicure and pedicure do you get the same color on your toes and fingers? Or different? I usually get something bold on my toes and a neutral on my fingers.

    • Anon

      I used to do a neutral or pale pink on my fingernails and whatever pleased me on my toes.

      Now that I run a lot, I usually have clear or sheer on my toes, so I can see whatever mess is going on with my toenails….

      • emeralds

        Lol, opposite…my toes are always shellacked up in something covering because my nails are such a mess from running.

    • Anon

      It depends on my mood – sometimes matching, sometimes different. When I lived in Texas, the nail techs used to chide me for getting the same color on both – they thought it was stodgy. In D.C., that’s a criticism I never hear haha.

    • cat socks

      Thanks! It’s been fun reading responses. I think I’m going to break out my norm and go with bold contrasting colors next time. I’m going on a beach vacation soon an I’m craving bright colors like orange or hot pink.

    • Anon

      Sometimes the same sometimes different. Most of the year I like red on my toes and something lighter on my fingers, though I do like red on my fingers from around thanksgiving through mid January. The rest of the time I like a berry or a darkish pink fingernail.

      However if I go blue on my fingers i like to do the same for my toes. This tends to be the summer. I like all the blues and turquoises then.

    • Anon

      Dark red or some variation of gray on my fingers. I like blues, greens, and purples on my toes.

    • cheetah

      I usually do some shade of grey on my fingers and bright coral or pink on my toes. I don’t necessarily think matching fingers and toes looks dated, but what I do really hate is French tips or obvious acrylics. I see people getting both all the time at my salon, but I think it looks so frumpy and 90s.

  2. Anonymous

    Is there an age after which you no longer *should* wear shorts in public? I don’t mean for Home Depot runs but out on a weekend where you want to look respectable. Like going to lunch or brunch or casual dinner, shopping, to people’s houses, etc. I kind of think it’s not really an elegant classy look (along with athleisure) for a middle-aged woman. Yet every summer I keep doing it because it’s easy and it’s hot. I am 50 and work out so it’s not leg appearance issues.

    • Sassyfras

      I have never given it a second thought when I’ve seen an older woman in shorts. Let your legs be free!

    • Anonymous

      Nope. I’m really self conscious of my legs but I still wear them, too. I mean, maybe not really short at 50 but I don’t see a problem with it at all.

    • biglawanon

      Shrug. I am arguably middle aged (40s) and wear shorts. I like shorts. You can style shorts in a way that makes them smart casual. Sometimes I also wear then when it is cold with tights and booties. (Obviously, not for work.)

      I have heard various ages thrown out though – ranging from 30-40. When I asked my husband if I thought I was too old to wear shorts, he looked at me like I was an insane person.

    • anonshmanon

      This is a very personal decision, imo. I agree with you that the convenient choice and the presumably ‘classy’ choice collide. The conclusion for me is that not all aspects of my life get to be ruled by whoever decides on what is ‘classy’. That term in particular is all too often used to limit the expression of women and minorities anyway. I wouldn’t wear shorts to a fancy restaurant, or to visit people that I’m trying to impress in any way, but otherwise those activities you mentioned I have done in shorts. Elegant it is not, but not everything needs to be.

      • Anonymous

        You wouldn’t wear shorts in those scenarios because they are (generally) considered too casual vs the wearer being of a disqualifying age.

      • Ellen

        I personaly LOVE to wear shorts, but am beginning to think that I should not when they are short shorts b/c men then tend to focus on my body, rather then on me for me (meaning my MIND). That is the problem, Grandma Trudy says. If men look at me as a piece of MEAT, they will NOT want to marry me, just consume me on a short term basis, meaning haveing me take my clothes off so they can do stuff to me and vise versea. FOOEY on that! I refuse to be a rag doll for men to poke at and then discard! DOUBEL FOOEY b/c they do NOT respect me for my MIND.

        So I will NOT wear shorts unless I am goeing to an all women’s event, b/c where men are NOT, they can NOT oooogle me! YAY!!!!!

    • Anon

      Do people stop getting hot in warm weather when they’re older? No? Then they should keep wearing shorts if they want to. Sheesh. Shaking my head at this question.

      Signed, 40-something who will wear shorts as long as I d**n well please.

    • Anonymous

      Are shorts ever “elegant and classy”? I mean, I know they make “short suits” and all, but they never strike me as either elegant or classy on any age group. I wear shorts when the activity or weather calls for it – when it’s warm, when I’m golfing, or for athletic wear.

      • Housecounsel

        I am almost 50. I’ve switched to Athleta skorts for the most part. I think my legs still look OK, but I fear looking either frumpy or like I am trying too hard, and so many shorts seem to be one or the other.

        • Team Free The Knees!

          I never thought I’d be a skort person, but I was wrong and I now own three or four of those Athleta skorts. They were great for when I worked at a farmers market because I could bend and lift and get dirty and run around to my heart’s content but I still felt snazzy. They’re also great for biking.

          That said, I fully support anyone’s right to wear shorts regardless of age. One of the privileges of being an elder should be do not fuss so much about “*gasp!* oh noez! what will other people think?!?!”

        • Anonymous

          Yeah, shorts just aren’t really at the height of style. There’s nothing wrong with them, but I feel like there’s a mom jeans equivalent of shorts and it’s easy to fall into it that pothole.

        • Anonymous

          I’m in the North 40s. I like to think that I still have the legs (but no other part) of a supermodel, but it is quite possible that that isn’t exactly true. STILL. I am 1000% Team Athleta Skorts b/c I feel leggy and attractive and fab in them (6 appropriate for tennis and/or golf; 4 better for casual wear).

    • Linda from HR

      I’ve wondered this too and I’m only 28. In fact I think I asked about it last year, I can’t remember. I do feel wicked uncomfortable in super short shorts that only go like 2 inches past my butt, but part of that is I live in the city, there’s germs and creeps everywhere.

    • Anon

      I don’t think so. They can look very put together (see, Talbots).

      I personally choose to wear skorts in situations that would otherwise call for shorts – my legs aren’t particularly attractive (thanks, Gram), so I stopped wearing shorts in college.

        • Anon

          Yes, but my thighs look infinitely better when not fully encased in fabric ;) (I’ve had severe cellulite since high school – just genetics – so I conceal with loose and/or sturdy fabrics.)

    • pugsnbourbon

      I plan to wear shorts for the rest of my life, but then I’m not usually interested in looking respectable :)

      You do you. Wear what makes you feel comfortable and good about yourself!

      • Cookbooks

        +1 Whatever makes you happy!

        Also, I think we actually had a post about this once, how to wear shorts as an adult.

    • Senior Attorney

      I’m gonna be 60 this year and I will wear shorts in the summer as long as I can manage to get them on!

    • cat socks

      I say wear shorts no matter how old you are or what your legs look like! Personally I only ever wear shorts for working out. I’m a dress person in warm weather. I’m lazy and like being able to put on one piece of clothing and be done.

    • anon

      I agree they aren’t as polished as other options, but when it’s 100+ degrees for days on end, you wear shorts (unless the occasion warrants something nicer, like a dress).

      • shorts over skorts

        +1. I was very anti-shorts until I moved to the deep south… now I wear them a lot in the summer, especially to mix it up with the summer dresses. for what it’s worth, I think a skort, especially a sporty skort, is much worse… it’s like trying hard, but in the wrong way.

    • Anonymous

      I have an aunt in her 70s who lives in Florida and her idea of dressing up is knee-length shorts with sandals.

      I’m early 30s and I like denim shorts for casual summer days but I would not ever consider shorts to be elegant, formal, or classy.

    • Anon

      This is where taking a page from preppy style might help you. Wear shorts as long as you want to and as long as they make sense for the activity you’re doing – just make sure they’re not skin-tight, exposing your buttcheeks, or stained and you’re good to go. I’m self-conscious about my legs, but shorts are THE most comfortable for a hot summer day when you still need to stay active.

    • Anon

      I never wear shorts out and about because I don’t like the backs of my legs sticking to the car seat and to chairs and so forth. I wear knee length casual skirts a lot. With cotton bike type shorts underneath they are my summer uniform, just as comfortable as shorts, and feel more appropriate for any situation where I might question whether shorts were ok.

      • Anon

        I should add that this is basically the same idea as a skort but i like buying the layers separately because I like to get the right length on the skirt, and the built in shorts on the last couple of skirts i bought rode up between my thighs, while the cotton bike shorts don’t.

    • Anonymous

      I stopped wearing shorts in public when I was 21. I am totally insecure and hate my life long cellulite.

      shrug

      You guys rock.

    • anon

      Shorts are just not elegant. It’s not about your age or whether your legs are “good enough” to wear them. They just aren’t elegant enough for nicer settings. If it is hot out and I have an event or nicer restaurant meal to attend, I wear a skirt, dress, or looser pants. For casual wear, I think they are fine as long as you feel comfortable in them.

    • Ms B

      IMHO shorts are a lot less aging than what my mother calls “pedal pushers”, which seem to be the summer uniform of choice for anything short of country club or semi-formal for the grandma set around here.

  3. Miami Spas

    Re-posting since I caught the end of this morning’s post –

    Spa recs for Miami? My husband will be there for work and I would like to take a “me” day while he’s busy. Preferably in the South Beach area.

    • cat socks

      The Ritz Carlton has a spa. Didn’t use it myself, but my stay at the hotel was great.

    • anne-on

      The Faena spa is insanely gorgeous, one of the only Hamman types in the region I believe. The Ritz and the Four Seasons also have very nice spas but I’d 100% do the Faena and make full use of the pool/lounge/bathing areas for the day. And the on site restaurants are pretty killer too.

  4. Anon

    Did you have a wedding planner? Was it worth it? If yes, any recs in the DMV?

    • Anonymous

      I didn’t, but if I were to do it again, I totally would have hired one.

    • Anonymous

      I did one and it was incredible. I found that it had two major benefits (1) – the wedding planner was the “client” of all of these vendors, and not me. She is a also a repeat customer, so she is less likely to get screwed over (for example, she hires caterers all the time… I’ve never hired one) or for the vendor to try to pull a fast one. Not that vendors would actually do this, but since you’re essentially a one time client, the chance to get screwed is potentially huge. (2) she was the keeper of all of the wedding information. That way, I could just work and live my life and if my mom or future MIL wanted to know what X was going to look like, I would say “call the wedding planner… that’s why we hired her.”

      I’ve heard people say that they didn’t want to hire a planner because then they “wouldn’t have control over the wedding.” I don’t follow this, because there was not a single decision that was made without my or my husband’s approval. She just narrowed down the realm of decisions to a manageable number of choices. And if we didn’t like the first set of options to choose from, she went and got more options.

    • Tetra

      I had a month-of coordinator who was absolutely worth it. In addition to all the day-of coordinating (which was sooo helpful!) she also connected me with really good vendors and had relationships with the caterer and photographer so they could all coordinate, and gave me great advice about planning generally. I used Capitol Romance Weddings — I think they do some planning in addition to coordinating.

    • Anon

      I had one, then fired her. I found she wasn’t proactive enough/was too slow corresponding. I had an idea of what I wanted, and I’d email her an idea – I wouldn’t hear from her for a couple days, and by then, I’d googled my way to a decision. FWIW, she had the best relationships with one particular venue where the rental fee alone was more than the budget for my entire wedding, so maybe I just wasn’t a high priority for her – something to consider when you’re interviewing.

    • nutella

      No recs in DMV unfortunately, but absolutely yes to a coordinator. Ask friends’ moms for recommendations and go with someone who has been doing this for decades over someone you find on inst@gram. I got a lot of recommendations and the ones that were my age and all over social media were 2x or 3x as expensive. Not a joke. Also, we are very private and had some high profile guests at the wedding, I didn’t want to worry about their self-promotion faux pas that I have seen happen to some of our friends – i.e., a coordinator p0sting photos of a friend’s parents’ invitation, which included their addresses, or selling pictures of guests and kids’ faces. An experienced photographer and planner/coordinator should know that you need legal consent from the kids’ parents and that was not provided. Our coordinator was my mom’s age and had seen it all and was therefore soooo go-with-the-flow, which I appreciated over the ones OMG-ing over my “vision” and overwhelming me with calls during the day.

      Here is why I recommend a planner: she really can help you stick with your budget, especially if she is more experienced. She saves you time and immense stress during the planning. Moreover, a more experienced planner will have seen all the pitfalls and problems, like knowing exactly how many the ‘mini bus’ seats vs. the ‘shuttle’ and which option will ensure everyone has a ride – instead of just assuming and there ending up not being enough seats. All of my friends told me that a planner was the one thing they wished they had had for their weddings. We met with our planner once at the beginning and then pretty much only as needed. She was available on weekends for us and mostly communicated by email or a phone call at night, on the weekend, or over lunch. Once she had an idea of budget and expectations, she pretty much gave us 2-3 options for most of the choices (florists, bands, photographer) and we just picked one. It was easy peasy. She knows where you can ‘bend the rules’ like negotiating with the hotel to allow us to bring in our own alcohol. From there, she received it for delivery and we never thought about it. There is not a single thing I stressed or worried about and, most importantly, we did not want our families to take on that burden either. We wanted them – our most important guests really! – to also enjoy the wedding and have fun and not worry about driving Aunt Edna to the reception or who ordered fish or who brought an undeclared +1. I guess years of being a bridesmaid that had to ‘work’ at a wedding really turned me off, and it was most important to us for everyone to have a good time.

    • Alanna of Trebond

      I considered having one (and actually was recommended one on this site), but then decided not to use her after she said that she could not do a wedding within my budget (she thought I needed $20,000 more). She was totally wrong.

    • Anon

      Yes, we had one. I can’t imagine getting married without one. I didn’t want to have to think about details besides enjoying myself on my wedding! I interviewed a ton of people to find the right fit. Literally she was a life saver. She did full planning of everything.

  5. nutella

    Does anyone have a recommendation on how to ship a rug? This is not in conjunction with other furniture, it is some chick on E b@y whose rug I would buy except she isn’t sure how to ship it. A quick search yields a company called TSI in addition to the usual F3d-ex or UP S but I think those two may accept on a case-by-case basis. Obviously, I would have her get a quote for price and method beforehand but I’m curious if anyone else has used TSI or has any other ideas. Another thought I had would be to tell her to consign it with chairish as they seem to handle rugs easily. Random question, I know!

    • Anon

      So when I served in Afghanistan, the USPS would let us ship rugs home. We folded them in squares/rectangles (so, not rolled) and basically saran wrapped them (put the folded rug into a black trash bag to conceal the contents, then wrap with lots of that giant saran wrap that movers use). The locals fold rugs in Afghanistan, not roll them, so while you’d think they’d be damaged, they weren’t. Then just mail it like any other parcel.

      • nutella

        Hmm, helpful, thank you. I will see if USPS ships but I’m not sure folding is possible – it’s a large (10×12), bound, heavy wool area rug.

    • Scarlett

      Hmm, I’ve ordered a lot on Overstock & they’re always rolled up & shrink wrapped in saran-wrap type stuff that’s a lot sturdier, with the label stuck on the plastic stuff. I’ve never tried to return one, but I’d imagine something like that would work. I’d probably call the local UPS store & see if they offer a service. I’d expect to get charged for the hassle if it’s a large rug.

    • ANON

      Greyhound also has freight shipping. Caveat is that you have to deliver and pickup from a greyhound location.

    • Anon

      Amtrak has really really cheap shipping. You take it there and pick it up from there and its so insanely cheap. Like 150 pounds and 5 boxes worth for 75 bucks.

    • Anon

      I have. I hated how the pillowcases fit. They are made too small so the pillow peaks through the back because they are envelope closure. I find the sheets comfortable but think they need to re think how they design their pillowcases.

  7. Marshmallow

    Does anyone have a secret for relieving a stiff neck? I’ve tried Advil, heating pad, a chair massage, and letting two days pass… nada.

    • Anonymous

      Thermacare heat wrap + Advil + sleeping with a rolled-up pair of my husband’s sweatpants under my neck to support it in the perfect position.

    • Scarlett

      I go to my chiropractor if it’s the kind where I have a limited range of motion. I always feel like I’m about to get my neck snapped but then it’s fixed.

    • Anonymous

      Massage! Massage your neck and shoulders, especially the back of neck, the scalenes, and the trapezius. Really dig in and see if you can find any lumps.

      • AnonZ

        +1 to massage except consider getting a full massage, not just chair/neck/shoulders. You may have other muscles which are stiff or tight which are causing the issues with your neck.

    • Anon

      1) stop messing with it. Don’t massage, don’t heat, nothing. You’re just making it more inflamed.
      2) take anti inflammatory pain reliever around the clock and don’t let it wear off. Set your alarm to take another dose in the middle of the night if necessary.
      3) if two days of round the clock OTC pain relievers don’t work, call your doc and get some flexeril

      I spent 6 months doing all the wrong things (including chiropractic) and finally the chiro gave up and sent me to a pain clinic, and this is what they did for me. I was better in three days.

      Basically you have to give your muscles a chance to heal themselves, and your muscles tense up further when they hurt, so it’s key to stop the pain cycle without interruption for a while.

    • S in Chicago

      A lot of times it’s an issue of upper back and shoulder tightness that presents as neck pain. Stand in a door frame put your arms up with palms touching the frame and lean slightly forward. Stand straight and tuck your chin back. And the other good stretch is to hold your elbows up shoulder level and then bring your palm down. A few stretches like this tends to start loosening it all up. Another good one is to face a wall and put your palms against it as high as you can. I know it sounds goofy and totally unrelated to the neck but it totally helps. Also, keep an eye out for how you are working. Don’t read looking down. Have your monitor at eye height.

      • Isabella the She-Wolf

        +1. These are all excellent stretches, and a big part of how I keep away chronic back tension and neck pain. I would especially emphasize raising your screen(s) to eye-level instead of looking down.

    • Metallica

      No time to locate the link, but g o o g l e “Chicken Wing Stretch”. It’s fab.

    • Anonymous

      Out of the blue have someone say “Show me how far you used to be able to turn your neck”. The sufferer has to be thinking of something else, and turn it without thinking. I works!

  8. Anon

    Can any NY attys here discuss how easy it is or isn’t to do a divorce there pro se? I’ve seen the packet on the court website.

    I’m a tax atty and my mom lives in NY and wants to divorce her husband (not my dad) and wants me to handle the forms for her. I’ve been resisting (bc I don’t want that ball of crazy in my life) and because, hello, I can talk about tax reform, but last looked at family law for the bar. They’re both amenable to the divorce and neither wants any of the other’s property. Thanks.

    • Anonymous

      i am a lawyer and i engaged a mediation firm to handle my divorce. no kids, uncontested, fairly amicable, with no real property. I didn’t want anything to slip through the cracks because at least in my county (Manhattan County) there is a 6-8 month delay to get the divorce court approved and I didn’t want to mess up a form unintentionally and add to the wait time. For what it is worth it cost about $3k.

    • Anonymous

      I’m a NY lawyer. Don’t do it pro se. Don’t do it for your mom. Help her find a reputable attorney. If you’re in Brooklyn, I can recommend someone for you.

    • Anonymous

      I can recommend someone in Brooklyn/Manhattan as well. It’s not terribly expensive under the conditions you described, but as an attorney in a different practice area who went through an amicable divorce, there’s too many things to screw up.

  9. Anonymous

    How often do they think doctors get hit on or asked out by a patient? Low key crushing on a doctor I saw. He’s much much older and I would never act on it or even let on, just think it’s a fun thought.

  10. Anonymous

    For male doctors, not infrequently.

    Female doctors, much much much less so.

    It’s unethical for a doctor to have a relationship with you while you are a patient of theirs.

    • dahlia

      I’m a female doc. A lot of patients try to flirt with me or comment on my appearance, but I rarely actually get asked out. As noted above, it would be considered very unethical for your doctor to have a relationship with you, and they could lose their license over it.

  11. Maya

    Any recommendation for a cosmetic dermatologist/aesthetician in San Diego? I am looking to consult for laser epilation of facial hair and may be general aging facial care. Thanks!

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