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Updated: Oct 31, 2018 135 Comments · by

Thursday’s TPS Report: Floral Pleat Flounce Skirt

The Personal Shopper (TPS) |

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Ann Taylor Floral Pleat Flounce Skirt | CorporetteOur daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Ann Taylor has some cute flouncy skirts for sale right now, which look great — this one on sale even has pockets. Lovely. The pictured skirt is $98, full price, and available in petite and regular sizes, 00-18. Ann Taylor Floral Pleat Flounce Skirt Two plus-size options are here and here. Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-5)

Sales of note for 9.16.24

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Comments

  1. Asideralis

    I’m actually very excited to meet some of you ladies tonight! I feel rather proud to be “hosting” a social event.

    I hope everyone else is having a great Thursday!

          • Anon

            I can’t make this one but would love to come to one in the future! Is there a DC list I should be on?

          • Asideralis

            To Anon:

            I believe there was one, but they haven’t been active since November.

            I took initiative to start one up again. Please email me and I will include you in on future meetups!

            I’m trying to plan another one in June. Perhaps as I get more settled in the area, I’ll be willing to set up wine tasting, learning to golf, and other networking events.

          • Rebecca

            Due to work changes can’t make it tonight – but looking forward to June!

  2. Anonymous

    Sorry if this is a stupid question. Is there any real difference between a women’s suit jacket and a women’s blazer? I am supposed to wear a blazer with jeans to an event and only have suit jackets. Trying to decide if I need to go to the store.

    • ITDS

      I think it depends on the fabric. If you have a plain black suit jacket, without too many fancy details on it, you could easily use it as a blazer.

    • Asideralis

      You could definitely get away with wearing a suit jacket to a blazer with jeans event, but there is a difference. Generally, blazers are more unique or vibrant and they are never sold with matching bottoms. Suit jackets tend to be more typically wool or linen, whereas blazers tend to be almost anything fabric wise. Commonly, women’s blazers are sold in cotton fabrics, but this is not always the case. Blazers can come without lapels, buttons, etc. Suit jackets very rarely do so.

      There used to be more of a noticeable difference, but the gap has been closing in the last few decades.

    • Wildkitten

      Try your suit jackets on with jeans and see which one looks the most natural. You can definitely wear a suit jacket as a blazer with jeans, but not every suit jacket will work as well as another one.

    • tesyaa

      A blazer that you wear with jeans would tend to be shorter than a suit jacket. If you have a shorter suit jacket, that’s probably a better choice than a long one.

    • Baconpancakes

      TJing off of this – I’m in the market for a tweed blazer for this fall, and since J.Crew’s quality has turned so abysmal, I’m at a loss as to where to look. (I’m still heartbroken every time I realize that the Crew sweaters and tops I bought 10 years ago are in better shape than the ones I bought last year. J.Crew was my first suit, and if it still fit, I’d still wear it, but I’m leery of buying a piece that needs to last for years from there any more.) Favorites for the classic tweed look?

      • Blonde Lawyer

        I got a classic tweed blazer on super sale at Talbots this past season. It fits a little bit boxier than I generally prefer but I overall like it. I could probably get it tailored if I really wanted a slimmer fit.

      • meme

        FWIW, I have several nice JCrew schoolboy blazers purchased in the last 2 years.

      • (Former) Clueless Summer

        Ann Taylor always has tweed blazers, often in several styles (classic Chanel, one button blazer cut, etc.). They will pill but I think that’s a tweed thing generally. If you can get them on sale, prices will definitely be better than J. Crew. I have a serious tweed obsession and that’s where I get mine.

        • Baconpancakes

          I think it’s a sign of the overall lower quality of clothes that we just accept that tweed pills. I bought a 70’s tweed blazer from a thrift store in high school, and it looked great for years, no pills. I got rid of it because I gained weight in college, but that’s the kind of quality I’m hoping for. I don’t think that well-made basic pieces should wear out in a matter of a few seasons. My mother has silk blouses from the 80’s that still look fantastic, and her old suits, while wildly out of date, still look nice. Is that just too much to hope for these days?

          • Former Partner, Now In-House

            Apparently, yes, it is too much to ask for. I know exactly what you mean because I have suits from Herbert Grossman and Albert Nipon that I purchased in the late 1980s and early 1990s that, while wildly out of style, are still in excellent condition. And they were $200/each, tops, in then-valued money.

          • Baconpancakes

            Whoa, tesyaa, that’s fantastic. It would probably require some tailoring, but they’re going for $30 on ebay, so the potential $60 in alterations is absolutely worth it.

            Ugh, even the NEW RL tweed blazers look cheap. WTF

          • Anonymous

            To be honest, I don’t mind that most of my clothes don’t last decades, because as you said, much of them will be very out of style (or I wouldn’t wear them anymore because my style has changed with age, or they don’t fit). I think there’s a balance to strike with clothes being at least well-made enough to last their style usefulness, but not so sturdy that they are prohibitively expensive for a benefit that no one can even take advantage of (assuming the piece is entirely out of style and therefore thrifting it does not really make sense in the short-term). At least 5 years would be nice.

      • Miss Behaved

        I got a nice charcoal grey wool blazer from Lands End a couple of years back. You might look there when the weather gets cooler.

      • Anonymous

        Pendleton. Great quality It annoys me to pay for shipping but it’s worth it

      • Diana Barry

        Baconpancakes – what size are you? I have a nice Boden tweed blazer in an 8 that I’d be happy to mail to you in exchange for shipping charges! :) It is in great condition – I hardly wear it so need to divest. :)

        If you want it you can email me at dianabarry r e t t e at gmail (take out the spaces). :)

        • Baconpancakes

          12, unfortunately. I can often wear a 10, but my She Hulk shoulders won’t squeeze into an 8 to save my life. But thank you for the incredibly kind offer! And you gave me another idea – Boden!

          • Diana Barry

            OK! I have some 10s for just that issue. :)

            If anyone else wants the blazer, let me know!

      • Anne

        Brooks Brothers, Boden, Talbots but the quality is not like it used to be. Polo Ralph Lauren, Lauren Ralph Lauren.

  3. Emmabean

    I am looking for graduation gift help for a young man graduating and working for an engineering firm in the South. He’s worked for the same firm as an intern through school. I’d prefer to do a gift certificate, and am thinking for clothes. But the only thing that comes to mind is Brooks Brothers, and I don’t know if that’s appropriate for a younger man. Thoughts or suggestions?? TIA!!

    • Gift

      How southern and how much of an engineer?

      You could do vineyard vines / belk gift cards (VV = Lilly for men in these parts)?

      BUT there is a Cabela’s near Charlotte that he might love (and they have a website).

      My southern engineer daddy is very into BB and LL Bean for casual wear, but it is agog over Cabelas (and there is always Bass Pro Shops / Gander Mountain).

      • Anonymous

        I agree with the VV rec – went to school in the upper south and now work in finance. Among young 20-something professionals, it’s hugely popular.

      • Veronica Mars

        x2 on Vineyard Vines. It’s the go-to brand for preppy guys in the South. It’d also make a nice gift because they have enough small accessories (hats, belts, wallets, etc) that he could pick out something he liked even if he didn’t really need any extra clothes..

      • Gail the Goldfish

        Southern Tide is another Southern preppy brand for men that’s a little less obviously preppy (at least to me) since it’s less well known than VV if you want something a little less stuffy than Brooks Brothers (I am having trouble picturing Southern engineers in BB for some reason). They’re based in Charleston, I believe.

    • Wildkitten

      If you’d be comfortable giving him an AmEx gift card – if I had been given an AmEx prepaid gift card and been told to spend it on clothes I would have used and appreciated it the same as a gift card to a specific store.

    • tesyaa

      Does Amazon have enough selection of men’s clothes? I’d guess yes, and then if he doesn’t need clothes he could shop for other things.

    • Michelle

      Banana Republic? They have great business casual wear up to suits, that’s where recent male college grads I know did their startup career outfitting.

        • Ginjury

          Yes. Banana or J. Crew are your best bets for a male engineer. None of the engineers I know dress up beyond business casual, but both stores do have more formal options if he’s in that type of office.

          I would absolutely not do a Vineyard Vines gift card unless you know for sure that he loves having whales on everything and likes the brand. It’s a very particular style and, if a man isn’t already wearing it, he likely isn’t interested in doing so.

          • A

            To each their own, but I think Vineyard Vines is kind of dorky and I’ve never heard of it outside of this s!te.

    • Anonymous

      My brother is an electrical engineer in his early twenties and he shops at banana republic. Also depending on what kind of engineering he is in, engineering can very very very often be a super casual field. My brother is by far the most dressed up person at every place he has worked and he wears non-blue jeans/casual slacks and a button up shirt. He may not need a suit, especially if he already has a job.

      • Asideralis

        This. I got my degree in electrical engineering, and now work as a software engineer. No one that I have worked with wears suits, and very rarely wears slacks. The guys are very dressed down here. Jeans, or khakis and a collared shirt are about as dressy as they get.

      • Anon

        My husband is an EE and he wears shorts and tee shirts to work. Some days I’m jealous but most days I enjoy dressing up…

    • Baconpancakes

      Brooks Brothers is still definitely appropriate, depending on the young man, but another idea would possibly be a gift certificate to a nicer shoe store, like Johnston & Murphy. A lot of younger men skimp on shoes.

      • Mpls

        BB may be appropriate for younger men, but would be WAY overdressed for most engineers I know.

        • Baconpancakes

          It’s definitely a KYO thing. The engineers I know all wear ties every day, but I’m in DC, and they work for stuffier organizations.

      • Anonymous

        +1 to this. Also even though they may wear shots and t-shirts the engineers I know wear good quality all-leather shoes. Also they tend to have cross-body leather bags; several I know have had their bags custom made.

    • rosie

      Nordstrom, if there is one convenient to him. Last time we shopped there for my DH, they had some Brooks Brothers stuff (I didn’t realize they sold outside of the BB stores), plus Bonobos, VV, etc. would also be available for him to try.

    • bridget

      Most engineers wear slacks and a polo in the summer, or slacks and a sweater in the winter. At least that was the dressed-up uniform when I was an engineer; the people in the lab could wear jeans.

      Try a house-oriented theme – a gift certificate to Crate & Barrel, Macy’s, IKEA, whatever. His work wardrobe is easy, but he might want all those things that are needed to live outside of college/the parents’ house.

    • Annie

      Somewhere that sells khakis and polos. I work at an engineering firm, and today I’m wearing corduroy pants, a polo, and a company fleece. This is what everyone wears all the time.

      I’d say J. Crew or Banana Republic are probably good bets. Alternately, I second the person above who recommended a house good type gift card. Nothing made me happier than getting rid of all the terrible pots and pans I used in college, upgrading to nicer ones made my life so much better.

    • Anonymous

      I am in the south and work with a lot of engineers. I would suggest REI.

  4. suckerpunch

    I know there has been helpful advice on this in past, but I can’t find it. I am a niche lawyer in a small market. I left a bigger market and joined my firm a couple of years ago on the premise and promise that we were growing my practice area. One of our main sources of work has dried up, and despite my growing my own clients, work has been hard to come by.
    You see where this is going… So yesterday I had that awful talk with my firm and was told that I needed to seek greener pastures. It’s the gentle letdown, several months of continued employment, promise of strong references, my book largely goes with me, everyone knows that work dried up, etc. I’m the breadwinner and my family is thriving in our current city so my first focus is to find a way to stay here. I know of very few places that even touch my practice area, but since we didn’t do all the work (client conflict and resources), it has to be scattered out there somewhere. Any advice, commiseration, resources for self-marketing would be appreciated.

    • Former Partner, Now In-House

      Can you reach out to former co-counsel and opposing counsel? Because you are bringing your book and your reputation with you, they may be receptive.

      • suckerpunch

        That’s the first plan. I keep telling myself that I am a good lawyer and that there are other places that could welcome a value-add practice area. For the next few days, I need to mourn and lick my wounds. Because this sucks.

    • Hollis

      Reach out to your network. Talk to all of your rival firms in your market – they might be doing better. Open yourself to a broad range of cities where you can be happy – kids are surprisingly resilient and I know that the legal market in my city is booming.

      • suckerpunch

        Eh, I’ve never really wanted to do that. I really like being part a full service firm so I can cover a variety of client needs in one place (my practice is a transactional/regulatory industry specific type). Plus, I enjoy being around people and my past experience working with 1-2 lawyer groups didn’t make me as happy as a bigger place.

  5. Goodness.

    Good morning, ladies.

    Ugh. I started in a new law firm a few weeks ago, after moving to a new city for happy family reasons and having trouble finding a “preferred” law firm job. This is a debtors-side bankruptcy firm.

    I am finding that there was/is no training (never done bankruptcy but business litigation/transactions before), and, the worst of all, the entire firm appears to be a gigantic mess. Fire after fire after fire to put of, all relating back to before I started. So, I am learning how to do bankruptcy in the fist place, and every time I start something I am faced with another “emergency” to fix. :( Also, I am, really not used to doing my own administrative tasks, like doing service, which I now have to learn to do because of another emergency. I am really upset by all this. Help, thoughts, ahhhh. I am definitely applying for jobs.

    • Anonymous

      Suck it up! Learn to do your own admin. Stop waiting for training and give it all you’ve got.

      A few weeks is really not long enough to be giving up on this.

    • Ellen

      Hug’s to you. I found when I went to law school that the people that interned with bankruptcy firms (at least on the dettor’s side) were kind of schlubbey. So that is why everything is a mess– no support staff, no training, schleppey client’s that do NOT have any money, etc. Of course, these guy’s also thought they were smarter (streetsmart) then us women who wanted cushey job’s in law firms. So when I interviewed, I tried to get interview’s with the big firms, but they did NOT want to see me b/c my grades were NOT that great first year. So I wound up with goverment internship’s where the lawyers were also schlubbey. The onley good thing about govermennt is that you can leave at 4:45 every day no matter what. So what I recommend for you is to see if these job’s are available b/c if you have family reasons that caused you to move to this new city, you will have a lot more time on your hand’s after 4:45 to do stuff.

      I sometime’s wish I got a job in the govermennt, except that I would only be a GS-9, and would NOT have a clotheing allowance. Dad did NOT want me to do that b/c he said it would be VERY difficult to find a guy who would MARRY me if I was a govermennt lawyer. Ultimately, working here in WC has NOT done me any better vis-à-vis finding a guy, but I hope that when I move to the 3 bedroom that I will find a rich guy in that condo. The realator still think’s she can negotiate a better price for Dad, but I do NOT care b/c it is HIS tax write off, not mine. In the meantime, the manageing partner told me that the Partnership Agreement does NOT allow for increased draw for me even tho I am bringing in more busness. FOOEY!

      Does the HIVE think this is fair? I did NOT read the agreement, but I told dad and he said he would read it. The manageing partner said that is why it is a PARTNERSHIP, not a corporeation. I still think dad is right, but dad will look into it. I am glad that at least Dad is on my side, especially b/c I have NO husband or boyfreind’ to look out for me with all of this financial stuff! YAY!

    • Maddie Ross

      Have you always worked in larger firms before? I work in mid-law and my husband is in (very) small law, and the difference between the admin help at our offices is HUGE. It shocked me that he makes his own copies, handles his own mail, prints his own letters, and even knows how to file at the clerk’s office (I do none of these things myself). The admin stuff may just be part of it. Debtor’s side bankruptcy, like a lot of volume practices, requires things to be lean to make a profit.

    • Toffee

      Can you join a local organization? Is there a strong IWIRC there? Ask your local trustees (UST?) for resources, groups to join, etc. Bankruptcy is very complicated and not something you can just figure out, in my opinion. You need resources. I’ve seen ENTIRE LAW FIRMS sanctioned for screwing up bankruptcy cases. Yes, this deserves ELLEN CAPS.

    • Anon

      I felt this way when I went from my larger mid-sized firm to a small firm. I will say this – if you learn how to work without admin support, and teach yourself this new area of law, you’ll be in really good shape. It is now shocking to me when I work with attorneys, and they have an admin or someone out sick, and they’re helpless. It was also a huge help when I jumped in house. Even though this is a large company, the admin support is almost non existent for us. I’d give it at least a few more months! BK is tricky, but not THAT tricky of a subject you couldn’t just grab a Rutter guide and go to town.

      • NavyLawyer

        Most people have little admin help; if it’s individual bankruptcies the lack of admin is tenfold annoying. Join American Bankruptcy Institute and attend their next Nuts and Bolts session – it’s extremely helpful. Get a copy of Collier’s on Bankruptcy. Soon the arguments will be old hat to you, honestly!

    • Anon

      I did admin in college and whenever I was sick (only twice) the office literally stopped running. You don’t want to be one of those incompetent people. I worked with the government a lot filling forms and submitting documents and the people I sent things to always knew if I was off because they’d get a mess of incorrect papers.

    • Anonymous

      uhh train yourself? Did you think there would be a formal law school class when you started? look for cle, webinars, etc and get signed up for them. learn to do your own admin.

      • Anon

        Not to jump all over the poster but this is such a pet peeve of mine. I work in a small firm and we hired another young attorney and she complains so much that she hasn’t gotten trained yet doesn’t take any initiative and majorly b*tches about doing anything remotely administrative related. Yes, you went to law school, yes you got good grades. welcome to the real world, this time stuff matters. Buck up buttercup.

    • lucy stone

      What does your district have? I do creditor-side bankruptcy for a municipality and our federal district has some awesome FREE bankruptcy trainings. Our state bar also has a great bankruptcy listserv and a mentor bankruptcy listserv. BK is a great practice area and I enjoy the portions of it I do, but you don’t want to screw it up!

    • Tired Squared

      Not sure if you’re still reading, but I’ve been in your exact shoes. Where are you located? I’d love to give you some pointers if you’re in my area.

  6. Amazon

    Good morning Ladies! Do you know of any brands that sell jackets or blazers that run large in the shoulder/upper arm area? I’m thin but a large/tall woman and I can’t find anything that isn’t too tight in the shoulder without it being much, much too large in the torso. I know I can get them tailored, but it’s better to start with a closer fit.

    I had just tried the BR cutaway jacket in tall, but the arms were so tight even several sizes up. My old jackets were from a time when a puffier shoulder was popular, which was perfect because my shoulders fit in the puff – it looks mostly just like a normal blazer on me.

    • BB

      Maybe try jackets that are supposed to be more “slim fit”? Brooks Brothers Stellita fit comes to mind.

    • rice

      FWIW, that particular blazer at BR has a ton of reviews that say the same thing – arms are just WAY too tight for the majority of reviewers. You may have better luck with a different style! Sorry I can’t help more.

    • pearls

      Same body type here – tall, thin, and broad shouldered, longtime swimmer. I’ve had the same issue, and for me it has come down to selecting what fits in the shoulders, then tailoring the body of the jacket so the rest of me is not lost! Classiques Entier and Lafayette suit jackets have often fit fairly well, if not perfectly. It would be fabulous if this fit came ready-made……..however, I’m not super optimistic at this point.

    • bballlaw14

      I’m 6’1″ tall and weigh 160. I consider myself broad in the shoulder. I have found that suit jackets size 8 Tall at Ann Taylor and Banana Republic fit my shoulders, and sizes 8 or 10 at Long Tall Sally. My Ann Taylor jackets still had to be tailored at the waist. These are the only stores I have been able to buy suits from so far. I cannot fit my shoulders into regular people sizes.

  7. In a Funk

    So completely off topic, but how do you deal with getting out of a funk? I went to dinner with an old college friend (we haven’t seen each other in more than 15 years), and I left feeling like this person wanted to be anyone else than be with me. I haven’t been able to shake feeling like I completely suck as a person. Logically, I know this college friend isn’t worth the mental energy I’m expending on them, but at the same time I can’t seem to shake it. Work, usually helps me shake most things, and this time it’s doing nothing for me. So does anyone have any suggestions for getting out of the funk?

    • Baconpancakes

      It’s the last thing you want to hear when you’re in a funk, but exercise is what works.

      If you can combine it with getting outdoors, like a hike or gardening or even a walk through a local forested/garden area, that’s even better. It puts things into perspective for me.

      • In a Funk

        Sadly, that was the first thing I tried. I had this experience on Saturday, and I’ve run three times since then, and I can’t shake it. I can get out of my own head while running, but as soon as I finish I’m back obsessing. Ugh.

    • TO Lawyer

      I find having a dance party to ridiculous pop music really helps. Or going for a run with ridiculous pop music. Basically just ridiculous pop music. It’s hard to stay grumpy when I’m listening to nysnc or the spice girls.

        • Baconpancakes

          Is anything else going on in your life that would bring you down?

          Additionally, have you spent any time with other friends since that dinner?

          • In a Funk

            Yes. I did happy hour with some girlfriends yesterday. I suspect that I just need time.

    • nutella

      +1 to exercise and how about NOT doing what “usually helps” you – like something you’ve never done? A weird new exercise class, pottery class, a last-minute weekend trip, volunteer work, exploring your city, making a list of restaurants you want to try, walking photography of your neighborhood, really anything you can possibly think of!

      • In a Funk

        This is a great suggestion. I’ll see about trying this. I tend to get obsessive, which works well for work and hobbies, but not so well in this kind of situation.

    • Anonymous

      Maybe try not to chase it off? Can you identify what about this interaction/person put you into the funk and try to sit with that and then reframe it?

    • Hildegarde

      I’ve been feeling similarly lately, though for different reasons, and one thing that has helped is thinking about (i) times when I know I’ve had a success, and (ii) friends who I know love me and are real friends. Thinking about these things reminds me that there are good times and bad times, and neither one is a permanent situation. Maybe you misread your friend’s demeanor, or maybe you didn’t and s/he really was bored, but surely you can think of a time when you experienced the love of a friend, or when someone really valued your company.

      I also think part of the problem in these situations is too much focus on yourself/myself, so doing something for someone else can be really helpful. Ask someone at work how they’re doing in a genuine way, do something for a friend who needs a favor (even if it’s just buying her a drink because she’s your friend), or do some volunteer work.

      • In a Funk

        I love the idea of volunteering. That is a great suggestion, especially because this situation has me focusing on myself and how much I suck. So I think helping someone else would be a good plan.

        • Frozen Peach

          + 1 million to volunteering. It’s gotten me out of several serious funks in my life, and is great at maintaining the lack of funk. Extra points if you’re doing something where you get to interact with living beings who make you happy (elderly? disabled? kids? dogs?). My rule of thumb has always been that my volunteer gig should not be related to my work skills– try to find something where you matter just as YOU, without anything on your resume.

    • rice

      Maybe your friend was in a funk too, and that’s why they behaved that way. Sometimes when I am not feeling like myself I get weird around people and probably seem like I want to get away – but really the problem is within me. Just a thought

      • yep

        +1

        This. Everyone has their own rich, complex inner life. Your friend could have been having an off-day, too. It appears you may be doing something that I often try to do, which causes generalized misery- and that is to try to take responsibility for someone else’s good mood and blame myself if I think they didn’t have “a good enough time” with me. You did not fail at being a good, fun, worthy person because this friend was not behaving like he/she was delighted to see you. There could be a hundred other reasons. I also agree with the suggestion to try to evaluate why you’re feeling in a funk, process those feelings, and then do something amazing and fun :D

    • Veronica Mars

      A hot bath, some pinot and watching a sad movie that’s guaranteed to make you cry (I like ‘Up’ because I start sobbing after the intro scene of the old man and his wife). I find that this combo is bulletproof.

      • SoCalAtty

        Oh, that movie! It is such a cute movie but I just can’t with the beginning. Dang it, I’m tearing up thinking about it! (Pregnant hormones.) I think it reminds me too much of my grandfather…my grandma passed in 2006 and they had been married for over 50 years. Those are the grandparents that raised me and I swear it almost killed him.

    • CountC

      First, give yourself permission to be in a funk and remind yourself that is shall pass. Truly acknowledging my state of mind and giving myself permission to feel the way I am feeling helps get me moving on the path to getting out of that feeling.

      Second, sometimes what I need is a good ugly cry. I started crying at Rite Aid yesterday over something dumb and realized I was overwhelmed, stressed, tired, etc., and just needed to go home and cry it out.

  8. In a Funk

    So completely off topic, but how do you deal with getting out of a funk? I went to dinner with an old college friend (we haven’t seen each other in more than 15 years), and I left feeling like this person wanted to be anyone else than be with me. I haven’t been able to shake feeling like I completely suck as a person. Logically, I know this college friend isn’t worth the mental energy I’m expending on them, but at the same time I can’t seem to shake it. Work, usually helps me shake most things, and this time it’s doing nothing for me. So any suggestions?

  9. anon

    So I broke my ankle last week and am under strict instructions to put no weight on it. I’m on crutches. This is supposed to go on for weeks. Have any of you ever broken anything that fully impeded your physical ability? And if so, how did you prevent yourself from ballooning to one million pounds or feeling super-blah from not exercising? I’m going crazy here! Help. TY!

    • SoCalAtty

      Oh yes…I’ve done my tailbone, and torn a tendon in my leg, both related to riding horses / jumping. I found that when not exercising / training in my sport, I’m a lot less hungry. I just had to watch my calorie intake very closely. The worst was feeling blah from not getting out…so I tried to find time to go places where I could sit outside in the sun and read a book. At least that gave me the illusion of doing something! Beach, lake, national park, coffee in a nice garden…something like that. I did gain weight, but over 8 weeks it wasn’t more than 5 pounds (and I’m only 5′ tall, so that felt like a lot).

    • Kelly Andthenblog

      Hugs, but no real advice (haven’t been in your situation). See if you can get one of those trollies for your leg, though. They look goofy but they sure beat crutches!

    • Wildkitten

      Eliminate all unneccessary snacks and treats. Use the time to do things you want to do but didn’t have time for between all your other active activities – like reading books, watching movies. Lift arm weights.

    • Carrie...

      Walking with crutches alone is good cardio! I recommend getting these crutches if you need to use them for weeks, unless one of those roll-y carts works for you too… Regular crutches are so rough on the shoulders

      http://www.walkeasy.com/shop/category.asp?ProductType=Forearm+Crutches

      Can you ask your doctor for a script for a couple sessions with a physical therapist to give you pointers on how to keep active safely and use your crutches correctly? Yes, there are correct ways…

      And use this time to tone your arms. Hand weights!

      • NYNY

        I was on crutches for a month for a knee problem, and it was so much work that I was losing weight. This would only apply if you walk a lot, so if you’re in a car city, you may need to do something else. But you can build some serious upper body strength on crutches. You’re basically carrying yourself around!

    • First Year Anon

      I broke my ankle when I was 16. I did not gain weight, although I was 16. I found crutches to be very tiring. My arms, shoulders and chest definitely got more toned. I basically went out a lot and walked around even if it was tiring because it was more fun than just sitting around.

      Good thing it’s not winter- even just going to the Farmer’s Market will be a good workout, trust me.

      The time will pass quicker than you think! Hugs!

    • lucy stone

      I just spent a month on crutches. They stink! I did a lot of ab/core work for exercise, and it is great cardio. Are you in a cast or a boot? If you’re in a boot, could you swim?

    • KneeScooter

      I highly recommend getting a knee scooter. I rented from goodbyecrutches dot com and it was a lifesaver!

    • L2fly

      I’ve sprained my ankle badly in the past, and have broken my clavicle several times, as well as ribs, and a scapula… with the upper extremity damage at least I could still walk, although anything you do with a broken rib hurts!

      In your shoes (shoe?) I would explore upper body exercises and core exercises, and really focus on abs, arms, shoulders, back, lower back, chest, etc. There is a lot of equipment you could use and not put weight on your ankle at a gym, and you could hit those circuit style to try to get some cardio, too. Maybe you could even find a gym with an upper extremity peddle bike, although those are rare. This is the time to get those toned arms you’ve always wanted! Good luck!

    • Senior Attorney

      I am recovering from a broken ankle myself and I second the suggestion of physical therapy sooner rather than later. I also kept up my sessions with my trainer the whole time — we did abs and upper body and anything else that didn’t involve the injured limb.

      I must admit I’ve gained a few (2-ish) pounds but I think that’s due more to stress eating over my elderly sick parents than the effects of the injury.

  10. Anonymous

    Remind yourself it’s temporary and you can handle it. I imagine it feels like forever, but many people live with permanent, life-changing disabilities and don’t get to have this perspective. Then find healthy snacks and see if there are ways to exercise what you do have – can you get killer arms or a stronger core?

    • anon

      Thanks for this perspective. I sat on a flight yesterday with a man who was paralyzed from the waist down, and that certainly put things in perspective for me!

      I am going to work on killer abs and arms. That’s a good goal.

    • CountC

      This. I had an injury from an accident (well a couple actually) that caused me to lose the use of my dominant hand for several months. Was it the end of the world? No. Did it feel like it at first? Yep. Slightly different because it was my arm, but I focused on what I could do and I focused on becoming ambidextrous! You can still work your other leg (prop the broken one up on a chair and do one-legged squats, etc., and as Anon 11:34 said, you can hyper focus on your core and arms! Plus, as someone else mentioned, using crutches is not shabby cardio :)

      I also echo the recommendation to get outside as much as possible, even if it’s just to sit. Sitting outside is far less depressing than sitting inside. Here’s to a quick and uneventful recovery!

  11. New Tampanian

    Hi all,

    Longtime lurker and not really ever active on here but I have just recently moved to Tampa from Boston for my dream job. I have all sorts of new questions about how to handle life down here. Please indulge and help if possible. For background, I’m in house counsel and single. I live about 30-45 minutes from the office. I am usually on the dressier business-casual to business side of the scale with daily wear.

    1) For those who are actively social with networking, friends and/or dating: what do you keep in your office (or car) for last minute invites to events? Some casual, others more dressy. I find myself (luckily) getting invited to things pretty often and I hope to start dating in the near future. My office is much closer to downtown than my apartment so I’d like to go from office to events.

    2) Those who have moved out of state with no real safety net, how did you meet new people / make friends?

    • Idea

      Re: moving to new places

      I joined designated groups – my alumni groups, my religious group in my age group, professional networking events, I let it be known that I was looking for friends and events to go to, old friends, new friends, friends-of-friends, whatever. It’s hard, even for an extrovert like me. But this way you get to know places, as well as people, and try things out (some groups were NOT for me – religious group for young adults, I’m looking at you) but other groups are (still love that religious women’s group where I was the youngest by 20+ years, and my book clubs…) Think about where you want to put your priorities. If you have dream job, maybe not networking right now, but a hobby or something? A class? There’s groups for everybody.

    • Wildkitten

      I just keep makeup at my desk so I can freshen up and glam up for evening events. I don’t do outfit changes, so it sounds like your events are more exciting than mine.

      • Anonymous

        This. Although in your situation I might keep a black jersey dress in the office. It’s often what I want to wear on a date and plausible as work wear. Although I’d also guess in Tampa maybe less black bring worn.

    • Commuter

      I have a lot of stuff I leave at work, including- deoderant, face wash, toothbrush and paste, some makeup, baby wipes, moisturizer, etc. etc. it’s nice to freshen up before i go out.

      i have a collection of heels at work and i usually commute in flats. depending on where i’m going one of those usually works. sometimes i leave clothes here- I usually have an emergency shirt and I should have a couple of more things in case. On Fridays sometimes I’ll bring a change of shirt for someone better for “going out”

    • anon

      If you’re in fairly advanced into your career (in-house counsel sounds like it qualifies), check out the Athena Society, which is a bunch of amazing kickass networking women who get stuff done in Tampa. An older family member has been an Athena member for a long time. Athena may skew a bit older than you, but my impression is that there are women in their 40s too. My understanding is that the Junior League in Tampa skews more SAHM than the coastal Leagues (reflecting the different demographics of the two areas), while the Athena Society is much more career-oriented.

      Consider joining a sailing club. Tampa residents spend a LOT of time on the water and it’s a great way to meet people.

    • anon

      Ugh. Any thoughts on finding a place where you can be sure these types of violations aren’t happening? Or at least where you know the employee is getting the tip you give them?

      • Anonymous

        Go some place where a white woman is doing your nails and charging you $50. I think Bliss is ok in this regard- maybe not awesome but legal.

        • Wildkitten

          I hate that this is the answer and I worry that white women working at nail salons are just eastern European immigrants with a similar set of abuses.

          • Moonstone

            I hate that this is the answer and I worry that white women working at nail salons are just eastern European immigrants with a similar set of abuses.

      • Moonstone

        When I used to try to find a good place that was not expensive, I looked for cameras. If you see cameras, don’t come back. I had good luck for a while at a place where the manicurist was a student at the local high school, so I knew she would have other opportunities soon. But in the end I had to give up mani/pedis except for maybe three or four times a year at a salon or spa where I knew the employees were not at the mercy of these predatory owners.

    • (Former) Clueless Summer

      Be willing to pay an appropriate price (agree that $50 is appropriate for gel – maybe more like $30 for a regular mani), develop a relationship with your manicurist (any reputable place will not have changing staff all the time, there is turn over, yes, but not constantly), ask about licensing and cleanliness. Honestly, the same places that treat their staff terribly also generally have little concern about the sanitation of their salon or instruments and will not, for example, turn down a client with a contagious condition (which they absolutely should be doing).

  13. Loneliness of the Trailblazer

    I work in a group of high level technical specialists (engineers) where I’m the only female amongst my peer group, and pretty much amongst all of the vendors and engineers that call on us. I’m working my butt off, hopefully leading the way for when more ladies choose or achieve this path.

    I have to say, though, that it’s feeling really isolating at times. On this site we talk about a lot of the Lean In type issues, but I don’t really have a peer group in my local area to do this on a more specific level, face-to-face.

    I’ve been thinking about seeing a therapist – not to try to solve any particular problem, but rather to just be a vent or sounding board. Does this make sense, or is this a weird thing to do?

    I don’t want to gripe to my gentlemen colleagues about something like how such and such vendor excluded me from the golf outing and how that feels like a gender slight to me that is upsetting. But I DO want to gripe about it out loud. Just to let me myself be frustrated and vent that out in private, so I can keep on working toward fixing it without all my peers knowing that I see this as an ongoing campaign. I was thinking that maybe a therapist would just be a listener without trying to fix something. Has anyone headed down that road and felt that it worked out?

    • Meg Murry

      Is there a section of the Society of Women Engineers near you that you could join? Or a professional organization for your industry where there might at least be a handful of other women you meet?

      Alternately, are you still in touch with any of your classmates from college in your major that might be able to provide a similar venting perspective?

      I found that once therapy just turned into a venting session for me it was far easier/cheaper to just have a standing phone date with my best friend who lives across the country – we both agreed that if we can make it to a standing therapists appointment, we can instead make it a priority to have our standing phone dates.

    • anon

      Not weird at all, but consider instead/also forming a Lean In Circle. My Circle includes several women in STEM who are the only women in their departments.

      • Best Coast

        I personally haven’t done this, but have a good friend that has. She owns her own small engineering firm, and as a young, extroverted, smart woman, spends her days surrounded by older, introverted, smart men. She turned to a therapist as a sounding board for feedback about leadership and for a place to vent without taking it home. She has repeated said that it’s really helped her get the frustrations out and also know when to turn to other business colleagues for feedback on discrete items. I say go for it, but also foster business relationships where you can so that you build a network of trusted advisors, even if they aren’t in your exact field.

    • Maddie Ross

      A little off-topic here, but while I wouldn’t “gripe” about it to the guys, have you ever mentioned to them that you want to be included in the golf events? I get it, it’s not right that you’re not included from the get-go and I would be pissed too, but have you ever tried to see if the guys there could be better allies?

    • A

      Gripe about it to the guys. Choose your words carefully (aka, they do not want to hear that the patriarchy is systematically oppressing you because it may make them defensive), but it’s a legitimate complaint each time something like that happens and discussing it with them is a way to bond. Go ahead and tell them you’re disappointed when you’re not invited. Honestly it has worked for me.

    • Asideralis

      I’m right there with you. I’m the only women currently on a project and it gets stifling at times. There doesn’t appear to be much networking within my firm amongst the technical leaders, so I have had to make myself attend local networking events.

      I would highly recommend joining SWE and I can also attest to seeing a therapist just to talk with someone. I have found mine to be useful in dealing with the tricky situations at work.

    • Coach Laura

      +1 on the therapist. Or you could find a career coach/life coach that has a STEM background, and some coaches are also therapists. Also, I think forming a Lean In circle or joining the SWE are both great ideas. Or form a book club (perhaps using Meetup) and pick titles that relate to these issues.

      I also agree that expressing your disappointments to your coworkers in a constructive way is a good solution. I made great strides when I got the old boys club to include me in their weekly lunch out of the office. A therapist/coach could help with that too.

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