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Updated: Oct 30, 2018 243 Comments · by

Thursday’s Workwear Report: Edge to Edge Ponte Blazer

The Personal Shopper (TPS) | ·

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Machine Wash Blazer: ASOS Edge to Edge Ponte Blazer with Pocket Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. If you're looking for a slightly edgy, feminine, affordable blazer (that's machine washable, natch!), do consider this one — it's available in regular and petite sizes over at ASOS for $57. It's also available in a plainer gray on sale for $34. Nice. ASOS Edge to Edge Ponte Blazer with Pocket Here's a washable plus-size option that's on sale at ASOS. Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-4)

Sales of note for 9.16.24

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Comments

  1. Philly apartment hunting

    Hi all, I’m moving to Philadelphia in a month for a new job. I’m SO excited about the job and exploring a new city, but could use some advice about apartment hunting. I’m planning to make trips down to Philly about 2-3 weeks before I’d like to move in to look at apartments (I’m currently in NYC)…does that timing make sense? I’ve only ever apartment hunted in New York, where it’s very difficult to find a place without a broker. In Philly, what’s the best way to find a place? Websites like Trulia and Zillow? Is there anything Philly-specific I should know? I’d like to find a one-bedroom in Rittenhouse Square and pay under $2,000 a month, ideally closer to $1,500. Is that reasonable? Are there other neighborhoods nearby that I should consider? Thanks so much for any advice!

    • Anonymous

      I can’t speak to most of your questions, but $1500 for a one bedroom in Rittenhouse is not a reasonable expectation. A friend lived there like 10 years ago and paid something like $2300 for a one bedroom back then. And I think he knew the guy he was renting from.

      Are you going to have a car? How much of a commute are you willing to have?

      • Philly apartment hunting

        I’m hoping not to need a car (I’ve never owned one before). I’ll be working near Independence Hall (not sure what that neighborhood is called), so it looks like I would be able to walk to Rittenhouse Square on a nice day (25 min walk), or take public transit and have about a 15-20 minute commute (which sounds great to me). I picked Rittenhouse because the friends I know who have lived in Philly in the past lived around there, and it looks cute (based on my one day of wandering around Philly :)), but I’m totally open to other areas that would allow me to have less than a 30 minute commute (and ideally somewhere I could walk home from work on a nice day).

        • LilyB

          Independence Hall is in Old City. You could live in Washington Square/Washington Square West (my neighborhood) and have a 10 minute walk to work. You could live in Old City, Northern Liberties (cheaper), Queen Village, Center City East, China Town… so many options that are even closer than Rittenhouse. Rittenhouse (particularly Spruce/Pine) is lovely but you will pay a premium.

          for $1,500 you will get a decent (not great) 1-br apartment in any of those neighborhoods (perhaps something nicer in Northern Liberties). For $2,000 you can get a really nice 1-br in any of those neighborhoods except perhaps Rittenhouse.

    • Cat

      $1500 for a 1BR in Rittenhouse isn’t likely. For closer to $2K, check out the Savoy and the Dorchester (both directly on the Square). Neither building is “hot” or remotely glamorous but they’re both serviceable and obviously in great locations.

      For a slightly less desirable location (in the middle of office buildings, not Rittenhouse) but a super short commute if you’ll be working in Center City West, the Sterling and the new building at 1919 Market could be options.

      Where are you working? If in the Penn hospital complex, Fitler Square will be a shorter commute (over the South Street bridge) although it might be harder to find a place because that market is super hot. If you’re going to have a driving commute, Logan Square area/south Art Museum OR Old City/Society Hill/Queens Village may be better for you because it’ll be quicker to get out of town.

    • Triangle Pose

      Depending on your move in date, we are actually looking for someone to takeover our amazing under-market apartment that is one block from Rittenhouse Park. It’s a 2 story apartment, 1 bedroom, 2 full bath with a roof deck! It’s 1200 square feet with an open kitchen and living room and extra bathroom downstairs (with a fireplace!) and the bedroom, bathroom and roof deck upstairs. We lived and loved this place for 3 years but now we’ve found a great house and want to put someone else great in there. Let me know if you are interested! I can link to some pics in a separate reply.

    • Anon

      It’s been quite some time since I lived in philly so I can’t really speak to rents, but you will love it! Center City is really quite small, so don’t feel like you need to limit yourself to the rittenhouse square area. As I recall, fall was a little extra busy with students moving into town, so keep that in mind re: timing. Check out Old City! (North of market, of course). Or the area around Jefferson hospital. Congratulations!

      • Two Cents

        I miss Philly so much. Such an awesome city. I agree that you will love it!

    • Anonymous

      I had a one-bedroom in one of the rowhouses on Spruce Street for about $1650 a month, but that was almost 10 years ago. You might need to go a little farther away from Rittenhouse Square proper to get into your budget. I agree with the others that Philadelphia is small – the walk from Rittenhouse to City Hall is more like 15 min than 20-25. If you live close to the subway or trolley lines, you can have a very short commute. Don’t count on the bus lines for a quick commute.

      I’d try looking on Craigslist. The brokers I tried showed me places that were not very nice and were expensive.

    • Wanderlust

      Hi from a ‘r*tte who also just made the NYC to Philly move! We’re living off the PATCO line in NJ (15 minutes to center city) and found the house we’re renting quite easily on Zillow.

      Is there any interest in having a Philly meetup? I’d love to meet some new people in the area.

      • itsme1987

        I organized a Philly meetup a couple years ago and it was so fun! I think I will try posting tomorrow to gauge interest in a meetup soon.

      • Philly apartment hunting

        I would LOVE to have a Philly meetup! I know very few people in Philly.

  2. Anonymous

    I feel like tons of bl*ggers use the term “natch” wrong. It’s short for naturally, which doesn’t really make sense here.

    • CPA Lady

      It’s such a weird word. I read a lot of Garfield comics as a child, and it took me an embarrassingly long time to understand what it meant.

      • CPA Lady

        That probably was not clear…. Garfield comics from the late ’70s/early ’80s were the first and only place I saw that word in my childhood reading adventures, so that’s what I associate it with.

    • Cat

      Yeah I agree. I’d have said “as a bonus” or something rather than “natch” – neither blazers nor blazer search criteria are “naturally” machine washable.

      • Badlands

        I read it as, machine washable being another thing on the wish list of adjectives. So, it’s all these awesome things AND machine washable. Of course it is, since it’s such a magical unicorn item already.

        Does that count as irony? I can never tell if it fits properly?

        • January

          Yes, I think it was intended as “you’re looking for a blazer that’s edgy, feminine, affordable (and machine-washable, naturally)”

    • Anonymous

      It makes sense in this context if Kat is known for only suggesting machine washable blazers. Or if her readers are always looking for machine washable blazers… which I am, so I didn’t really take issue with it.

    • Banks

      I thought “affordable” and “machine wash” is how she got to natch. Because yeah affordable blazers are great unless you have to dry clean them. So natch, affordable ones should be machine wash.

  3. Anonymous

    Love the color of this blazer. Also love the shoes that both the regular size and plus sized models are wearing.

  4. DCUrbanMom

    So I just discovered DCUrbanMoms. I thought people on this forum where rich, but man it seems like most of the people on there are making bank! This is making me feel bad about my $250k household income, haha, but it atleast reassures me that its ok feeling middle class because it probably is middle class for DC!

    • Betty

      Love DC but amongst the young professional and young kid crowd, there is a lot of keeping up with Jones mentality. So, yes, you may see someone complaining about their full-time nanny who dented the family Land Rover pulling out of the whole foods underground parking lot on their way to the new house in Arlington, but…. also a lot of debt.

      • Orange Line Anon

        I am *very* lucky to have a house here. Where I’m from, it would be a crackhouse or the thing that the family’s one moving-on-up-fancy-degree person would absolutely not live in. And yet I live there. A family of 7 used to live in it (raised ranch, so in-laws lived in the basement). Everything but the wiring (expensive and messy to redo) dates to the 1950s. I am just shocked, though, at how high on the expensive hog people live here. It is to the point where I cannot explain the household economics — surely everyone does not have a trust fund or an investment-banker spouse (and I say this as a person who is good at math). I stopped when I was biking at the Whole Foods on Clarendon and watched people get into a screaming match in the parking lot battling for a parking place. It is truly nuts. I think that I would want to move back where I’m from, pretend that the fancy degree thing never happened, and raise normal kids (or kids not surrounded by such unsustainable craziness and traffic).

        • long time lurker

          I grew up in the NoVA area and this comment reminds me exactly why I left. That plus the horrible traffic.

          • CountC

            Same. I moved back for a short time and can’t be happier to be back in my LCOL area.

        • Money Dummy

          I do not understand it either. I’ve always been good with my own money, and I do not understand how massive groups of people seem to be able to afford things that seem like they should be so far out of the reach. Do they have $14 in the bank and live paycheck to paycheck despite making 250k? Is being massively in debt to finance and insane lifestyle normal? How can they sleep at night? How do you even get enough credit to be that in debt?

          I live in a mid sized city and “everyone” who is “anyone” sends their multiple kids to specific private schools that run about 20-25k a year per kid… HOW? How do you do that for 13 years in a row? For two kids that’s over half a million dollars. And that’s cheap by private school standards. And then on top of that you need the new luxury cars, the giant house, the country club membership…. I just dont get it.

          • Anon

            Don’t know about your city, but in DC there are some with family/trust fund money; there is biglaw money; there is some finance money though no where near the echelons of NYC. Then there are MANY MANY more who do NOT have that, no matter what they may have you believing. However, they’re caught up in the race with the Joneses and in DC/NoVa it is ALL ABOUT THE KIDS. As in — if my kids don’t go to that pricy preschool or eat all organic or take pricey lessons in whatever sport or music beginning at 18 months, they will fall behind, so we MUST do it. I honestly believe lots of people in DC/NoVa are doing it with a high debt ratio and/or at the expense of their retirement/college savings. The same people who go ON AND ON for decades about their kid not falling behind in this or that suddenly become the BIGGEST proponents in the world of UMd or UVa. when college time rolls around — after sticking up their noses at public k-12 for years. In the way they say it, you can tell it IS financial. Something has to give at some point.

          • anon a mouse

            I can’t speak to the luxury cars bit, but you can’t discount the cost of child care. If you get used to a budget of $2K/month in the infant and toddler years, then $20K for private school tuition doesn’t seem like much of a difference.

            Also, there are plenty of us who live frugally, drive old cars, save for retirement, shop the sales and bring our lunch to work – even at high incomes. We just don’t post on DCUM because what’s the point. But we exist!

          • Baconpancakes

            To be fair, UVa is consistently rated one of the top universities in the country.

        • Betty

          Also why I left the area and the whole mentality.

          I cannot make the math work either. There are some who can afford it, but for many, going into debt to finance the lifestyle or just barely scraping by is how it is done.

          • Anon

            There seems to be a LOT more debt to finance the lifestyle and/or a lot more skimping on retirement savings etc. to have what they want/need now. I wouldn’t have thought this, but I see it all the time in my work place. Well educated attorneys lamenting about how contributing 8% to a 401k for a full match is way too much and forget contributing the full 18k. And yet in the next breath, they tell you about their vacation to a pricey resort or how they MUST live in x school district or their kids MUST go to private schools bc they are just TOO BRIGHT for public school.

        • I don't see it

          I live in DC and do not find this keeping with the Joneses mentality, at least when it comes to raising children. I’ve been pleasantly surprised by how many neighbors are sending their kids to the local (and very good) public schools. And we live in an apartment building with lots of different families — diplomats, young professionals, retirees, etc. And we drive a really old Toyota Camry, no Landrover here. Most of our friends are government employees, certainly not those pulling $450 HH. I think it is possible to live in DC and live within your means if you choose to live in a neighborhood where the public schools are good so you’re not forking over exorbitant private school tuition.

      • Bonnie

        Yep. I’m surprised how many professional couples we know who are living well beyond their means and not saving for retirement.

    • Monday

      Think of it as an opportunity to post lots of haughty comments about how you’d never pay $X for Y item. Even though you and your husband could more than afford it, of course.

    • Anon

      It’s a self selecting type of website. By no means is EVERYONE on that website making a HHI of 400k+ — yet those are the folks who are the most vocal. There’s a thread over there now re net worth and the ONLY people posting are the ones says — we’re 35 and our net worth is “only” $3 million; we feel ok about that but we know we need to step it up. Um — there are low paid professionals in DC too — LOTS of lawyers working for non profits etc., but they are not posting and saying, I’m 35 and my net worth hit 100k, I’m so excited . . . .

    • Emmer

      Congratulations, you just discovered the online haven for some of the most arrogant and sanctimonious people in DC! (Seriously, though. Nothing good can come of spending too much time on there.)

      • Anon

        ha – I used that website to vet school options for my kids when we were moving into a new school district. That website conveniently compiles all of the most terrible things about all DC/VA/MD schools in one place. If we could live with whatever was being said about the school on DCUrbanmoms, then we’d look at houses in the district. Example – our kids’ current preschool was blasted b/c the director wasn’t responsive enough to potential parents on the waitlist. Posters conveyed this in the rudest terms possible, but putting aside the ad hominen attacks, it is objectively a fair critique. But, if that’s the worst that can be said about the school (and trust me, if something else bad was happening, DCUrbanmoms posters will say it), I can totally live with that.

      • emeralds

        I looked it up and DC’s median income is $90,000; the clearest middle class calculator that I could find put its range at $70,466 to $211,400. I played with a couple and $250k was not middle class in any calculator. So, sure, you may not be super-wealthy but please acknowledge and be grateful for your income level, no matter what some BS forum is telling you.

    • Cc

      Love the thought process here. You felt bad about how much you make because other people were posting how much they make so you came on to a different website which you acknowledge people make less on and post how much you make. And say you feel middle class which is absurd and honestly kind of disgusting

      • Anon

        Yep — couldn’t hang on a website where her income would be just average, so she came to a website where she KNOWS her income is on the high end — as we have a lot of govt; non profit; and just graduated/starting out their professional careers kinds of people.

    • ouch...

      I live on 30k a year, 1 mile outside of a top 10 most expensive city in the country for family/job reasons. I make it work, because I have to.

      OP, you are out of touch.

  5. Cb

    Asked yesterday about a Saturday interview with a long journey. Thanks for talking some sense into me regarding the likelihood of me being there/coherent after a 5:30 train. Have booked a cheap hotel and will be travelling up the night before. I’ve been pretty unwell this week so it’ll be easier on me physically and mentally.

    • 2 Cents

      Good luck! Plus, this way the hotel can call you for a wakeup time in addition to any other alarms you have set :) Relax and feel better!

  6. SuziStockbroker

    I am having trouble finding shorter, fitted blazers to wear with dresses.

    Any recs?

    I am particularly looking for white, black, navy, and grey.

    Thank you!

  7. Diana Barry

    NAS report – finally got items and tried on:

    Halogen Textured Notch Collar Topper – returning. It looks nice but is WAY TOO ITCHY and I would never wear it, I think. I think this is a copy of the Eileen Fisher version, but that one is over $200.

    Halogen Bouclé & Knit Drape Collar Jacket – keeping. Only $50 and looks nice, could dress up or down, and comfortable!

    Autumn Cashmere Sleeveless Turtleneck Cashmere Sheath Dress – undecided, will probably return. It is very nice, totally flattering, not too itchy, but $234? Would I really wear a sleeveless sweater dress that much??? Anyone with opinions on this?

    Sam Edelman ‘Rudie’ Studded Fringe Bootie – returning. Not wide enough for my bunions (I got a wide width) and too wide in the heel. NOTE – can anyone speak to whether these would stretch? Doesn’t suede stretch esp if you get it wet?

    Munro ‘Drew’ Water Resistant Wedge Bootie – returning. Ditto on not wide enough in the ball of the foot, and too wide at the heel. Also clunky and makes my feet look like big clunkers.

    • Veronica Mars

      Thanks for the update! I got the bulk of my orders in last night.

      Keeping- Guess envelope coat, Leith dresses in a small (the medium actually was less flattering because it was too loose to scrunch), BlankNYC jacket in burgundy, “The Skirt” in black (I haven’t gotten this before, so no opinion on the new center seam. I thought it was comfy and flattering)
      Returning – Alainn short necklace, BlankNYC jacket in Midnight Toker (color wasn’t flattering on me), Eileen Fisher pencil skirt (would’ve needed to size down to an xxs and it was kind of blah for the price)

    • Two Cents

      And my NAS report:

      – Ted Baker London black shopper tote — keep, I think. It’s very sleek and minimalist (no pockets inside) but nice and roomy and good for putting in a file and notebook to take to court. I also like the gold hardware. I’m not crazy about the handles (they look a little cheap). Anyone comment on quality of Ted Baker leather?

      – Kate Spade shopper tote – too small to put in a file, returning

      – Louis et Cie tote — nice but didn’t like it as much as the Ted Baker tote, not as sleek

      – Paige Verdugo ankle jeans — pretty color (aubergine) but I like a higher rise

      – Paula’s Choice BHA 2% liquid exfoliant – LOVE! I’m clearly late to the game here because so many beauty bloggers have raved about this, but it’s amazing.

  8. Jdubs

    I’m looking for commuting sneakers that don’t scream “sneaker” on first glance. Something like the Cole Haan Zerogrand where you can get black sneaks with a black sole. Are there any other shoes like this out there?

  9. Crowdsourcing Bag Q

    I have a long-delayed present for me that I have narrowed down to two things, both from Frank Clegg:

    1. The Audrey (I like the black it is pictured in)
    2. Small Signature Satchel

    I like that both bags look simple and to be of good quality. I think that the Audrey is prettier. I also err on the side of black (and there are many pretty colors here). My other two bags are both very rugged, so it’s not like either would be my Nth nice black bag if I were to get that color.

    What say you, interwebs? [Both have been saved / gift-card-hoarded for, so it’s just a matter of picking which one and which color.]

    Bags at http://www.frankcleggleatherworks.com

  10. Anonymous

    Any recs for brunch in Minneapolis? Bonus points for places that allow dogs.

    • Anonymous

      Birchwood Cafe! It was recommended to me by a former local and I loved it. The food was good and there was plenty of outdoor seating. (I believe I remember seeing water dishes for pets, but I’m not positive about that.)

      • Frozen Peach

        Birchwood allows dogs outside. We also loved Psycho Suzi’s patio, and Pat’s Tap patio (both also allow dogs)

    • Mpls

      Are you looking for a particular neighborhood?
      Red Stag – NorthEast, just over the river from downtown
      French Meadow – Uptown
      Tiny Diner – Longfellow neighboor-ish
      Low Brow – Nicollet and 35th ish

      Look for places outside of downtown with a patio for dog friendly (tho the dog-friendlyness may be limited to the patio).

      • Anonymous

        Thanks anon and Mpls! We’re staying in Downtown West but will go anywhere.

        • Ms B

          You should be able to walk to Hell’s Kitchen on 9th, but I do not know what their pet policy is. Lemon ricotta pancakes, wild rice porridge, bloody marys, yum! OMG I am hungry now.

          • Mpls

            Hell’s Kitchen is amazing, but they are completely indoors (downstairs, in fact), so I doubt pets are allowed.

            Consider Burch (Hennpin and Franklin), a few blocks south of the Walker Art Center. I think you are going to find more patios (and dog-friendly patios) outside of downtown than in.

    • BB

      Is Bachelor Farmer still around? Realize this is dated, but I had an amazing brunch there a few years ago.

      • MSP

        Aster Cafe by the river. Great food, great view, fun exploring/city hiking nearby.

    • Jessica

      Birchwood is the best! And very petfriendly

      I also love Hell’s Kitchen for brunch but they don’t have the outdoor pet friendly seating of Birchwood

  11. cleaning clueless

    NoVA cleaning service recommendations? Looking to move to the area and trying to assess costs. 2100sqf townhouse is likely.

    • Anonymous

      I live in NW DC and use Maids in Black for my townhouse. I like the fact that you can book online, that they usually have discounts (about 20%), that they’re bonded and insured, and have good customer service (very responsive).

    • Anonymous

      I use Purrfectly Kleen and really like them a lot. On the more expensive side, but well worth it, IMO. $135 for team of 3 women, 1100 sq foot apt. We only book them when needed; I think it’s a bit less if you sign up for regular service.

  12. Office decor

    What decor do you have in your office? I have some wall art, desk accessories, a plant in my window, a trio of vases on my bookshelf, and a rug, but my office still feels pretty bare. Interested in hearing what other people have.

    • emeralds

      A constellation of post-it notes for a project plastered all over my wall.

      Permanent decor includes two plants, a couple of framed personal photos, an award plaque, a few little animal-statue things, my remaining textbooks from grad school, and a calendar. I have a rotating selection of programmatic posters due to: things my students should know about. Hoping to get some real wall art at some point. I’d love a rug but don’t think it would work with my desk setup.

    • Stevie

      My degrees and bar admission certificates framed, then I have three black and white photos, and an inspirational canvas hanging with a quote on it that matches that I found on sale, and family photos.

    • ChiLaw

      I am kinda artsy, but also have only been in this office six months, and I have:

      Framed diplomas and certificates; an award of which I am very proud (it’s like a paperweight type thing); gifts from an important vendor; two artsy black and white photos in nice frames; a wedding photo; 4 framed family photos; a piece of art work by a relative that is like 2′ x 4′?, and a plant that the company paid to have put here. On the bulletin board behind me are a mix of things I need to access all the time and art from my daughter.

      I really want to put up a GIANT painting on the wall across from my desk, but I have to figure out (1) how to convince my parents to loan it to me for that purpose, and (2) how to get it here.

  13. Anonymous

    Is there any reason that doing a home renovation (finishing a basement to make room for a nursery) while pregnant is a bad thing (for health or logistical reasons or otherwise?) The only thing I can think of is paint fumes but painting doesn’t take very long and I have family within driving distance I could go stay with for a long weekend. Just trying to figure out how hard I should hustle to get this done before we TTC or if it’s ok to do it once we’re actually expecting. We currently have no need for the extra space.

    • Diana Barry

      We renovated while I was pregnant and it was fine. Lots of fans for the paint fumes and we just did one room at a time. Much better than doing it when you already have a kid (we did that too and the kid’s lead level was a bit higher because of the dust).

      • Anonymous

        Don’t discount the impact of your lead exposure when pregnant too! Exposure in utero is bad as well.

    • Anonymous

      What will your renovation entail? If you’re taking down walls, there’s a chance you’ll find mold. If you’re taking up flooring or the ceiling, you might find mold, asbestos, or lead paint. A lot of window and door frames also have lead paint and possibly mold.

      • OP

        We haven’t made detailed plans but the idea is just to finish an unfinished (but framed in) basement to give us additional living space. I don’t think any walls would be torn down. There shouldn’t be asbestos or lead paint because the house was built in the late 1990s.

        • Anonymous

          I would think that would be totally do-able while expecting, so long as you can find a contractor to work on the timeline you want. In fact I know people who have done just that (finished a basement while expecting to add additional living space). If your only real concern is paint fumes, just realize that nearly 100% of people paint a room while expecting for their nursery. If you’re really concerned, use low VOC paint. And use it as an excuse to hire painters.

          • SFAttorney

            Yes, to using low VOC paint. It’s a good thing to do anyway and paints are widely available.

        • Anonymous

          We just finished our basement while I was 3-6 months pregnant and there weren’t any issues. Everything was downstairs and separated by the basement door, and I just avoided going down there when the paint fumes were too bad. Now, the stress from remodeling without the benefit of being able to drink wine…that’s something to consider! :)

    • ITDS

      We just repainted our master bedroom, and bought ordinary paint from Home Depot (Behr I think) and there did not seem to be any fumes at all. I came home expecting that “paint smell” and there was nothing. Perhaps formulas have improved.

      • Wildkitten

        There are specific low-VOC paints you can choose if this is important to you.

    • Em

      I painted our entire upstairs, which consisted of 3 rooms, while I was pregnant, after checking with my OB. She said indoor paint isn’t generally dangerous, it’s the industrial paint or outdoor paint that is a problem.

      • Anonymous

        I painted a not-very-well-ventilated bathroom and the nursery when I was pregnant (without consulting my OB) and was fine.

        If you’re knocking down walls and find mold or asbestos, those are things that would be hazardous irrespective of pregnancy, and you’d have to stay away while they’re cleaned up. According to the highly authoritative HGTV show, Flip or Flop, everything except demo is OK for a pregnant lady!

    • emeralds

      Beautiful basic, love that it’s 100% silk, and a great price. I don’t have it but fully support you buying it.

    • Anonymous

      I always hesitate at the prices for Eileen Fisher, but then I end up wearing the heck out of the basic pieces I buy. I say go for it!

    • Senior Attorney

      I have an Eileen Fisher silk tee I’ve been wearing for years and still love. I say go for it!

  15. Betty White

    Question for the hive: we have a 12 week old and are thinking about doing a trip to Patagonia in January (so he’d be about 8.5 months old). Are we insane? We are planning to start trying for a second child next May so this feels like our last chance for a while. Assuming the flight (12 hours) would suck, would it still be worthwhile? Would we be able to do enough of what there is to do there (hiking, etc) with a baby in a carrier? Are hotels at all accommodating to babies?

    Cross-posting–thanks in advance!

    • Anonymous

      I think Patagonia with an 8.5 month old sounds insane. Easier than Patagonia with a toddler or two, but still insane. Signed, mom of 1 and 3 year old (who has not been to Patagonia)

      • Anonymous

        Also, I’ve only traveled domestically with my kids but every time one of them seems to get sick. I know you can’t live your life in fear of all the “what ifs” but close access to good medical care is a consideration for me, especially with a young, pre-verbal child who can’t tell you what’s wrong.

        • JTX

          +1 to the consideration about access to medical care. A few years ago, my husband and I took our son (then 10 months old) to the San Juan Islands, and OF COURSE he came down with roseola while we were there. It was very scary – he had a fever over 103 degrees, and we were on an island with limited medical care. Luckily it ended up not being that serious, but it could have been.

          I’d save Patagonia for when your kids are a bit older.

    • June

      Looking forward to seeing responses to this. A Patagonia trip is my dream trip, and it doesn’t look like we will be able to fit it in before TTC/2017.

      You sound awesome just for considering this! I hope you get to go sooner rather than later!

    • Anonymous

      I haven’t been to Patagonia but I have some friends who have done really adventurous trips that entail long flights with babies or toddlers – one friend went to India (from the US) for vacation with an infant AND a toddler. She nursed her baby while riding an elephant. So it can definitely be done and I think you’re awesome for braving such exciting travel with a little one.

      • Emmer

        Patagonia is not India. It’s not like being in a big city where you can do an activity for a few hours and then go back to your hotel. The main attractions are all intense outdoor activities that are long car/bus rides away from the cities with hotels. I don’t think even the most athletically inclined people would feel comfortable doing 6+ hour hikes in unpredictable weather with a baby in a carrier.

        • Anonymous

          I don’t think long car rides with a baby are necessarily problematic. And many people, myself included (or more accurately, my husband) have done six hour hikes with a baby in a baby carrier. If you’ve never hiked with a baby in a carrier, I agree Patagonia’s probably not the place to experiment, but if you’re familiar with hiking with a baby and know that both you and the baby can enjoy long hikes I’m not sure why it’s so crazy.

          • Emmer

            It’s not the length alone that is the problem. It’s that any hike worth doing involves some steep climbing and long stretches with no shade and the possibility of high winds. Also in all of the places we hiked, you had to carry your trash with you – no place to throw it out along the way. Pretty gross to carry diapers with you!

            For the record, I’m not saying don’t go to Argentina at all. Buenos Aires with a kid is absolutely do-able. Even Iguazu Falls is fairly kid-friendly. But not Patagonia.

    • Anonymous

      I think it is insane, and won’t be fun 8.5 month olds are squirmy and move and the flight will not be fun. And neither will be dealing with feeding and changing and naps and bedtimes and a baby who wants to crawl everywhere. Patagonia to me is a once in a lifetime dream trip- why you want diapers on that? Go when the kid is 10 and will actually love it.

    • Emmer

      Honestly, yes, I think you are insane. I have been to Patagonia and the best things you can do there are not at all kid-friendly. You could do a handful of easier hikes but you would be missing out on the vast majority of the ones that take you through beautiful scenery. Other activities are out too – glacier hikes, horseback riding, kayaking, ATVs. I literally can’t think of anything that is unique to Patagonia that you could do with an infant. Sorry!

      • cbackson

        Agreed. One of the best trips of my life, but I think it would be hard to do with young kids. Plus, not sure how the OP is planning to get there or whether she’s planning to go to Chilean Patagonia or Argentine Patagonia, but either way, there’s typically a second (fairly long) flight involved on top of the flight to Santigao or BA.

    • ITDS

      What do you plan to do in Patagonia? I think hotel based day tours and gentle hikes would probably be fine, but climbing Cerro Torre is definitely out.

    • Anonymous

      I’d also speak to your pediatrician. I think there’s some concern with babies not acclimatizing to altitude changes as easily as adults. If you live in Denver it may not be an issue.

    • WestCoast Lawyer

      I think this really depends on two things. First, how mellow is your baby? Obviously, things can change, but our first was easy from day one. We took a short trip at 4 weeks with no problems and he continues to be a great traveler to this day. Our second has been much more high maintenance and this has been consistently the case, such that I dread doing things that I wouldn’t have thought twice about with my first.

      The second is whether you and your spouse are the type to roll with things or to get stressed out if plans have to change because the baby is having a rough day. I know people who have traveled internationally each time they had a newborn because the maternity/paternity leave gave them a great opportunity to take some additional time off and have really enjoyed it.

      So the short version is, if your baby is currently pretty easy going and you and your spouse are the laid back go with the flow types I’d say go for it. But if nap schedules stress you out or you have a crier on your hands I’d probably go for something closer to home.

    • anon-oh-no

      totally depends on the kid. if you asked when I only had my oldest (who is now 9), I would have said insane. But we totally could have done this with just my youngest (who is now 6). YOu have an idea of the baby’s temperament already. how do you feel about it?

    • Bonnie

      Insane. You’re suggesting wearing a baby in an area where the main attraction is hiking icy and slippery glaciers.

    • Betty White

      Yikes, that’s a pretty resounding “no”! Reading these posts, I think the nap time issue (maybe that was on the moms s1te) would be the deal-breaker. We shall look for something less adventurous this time! Thanks, all!

    • Jeffiner

      My husband and I took our 8 month old to Iceland. We had a great time. We did a Ring Road tour, driving around the perimeter of Iceland (~800 miles). My daughter didn’t mind the long car rides; one of us sat in the back with her and gave her bottles or toys, and she just napped when she felt tired. We stopped every few hours to see a cool sight and take her out of the carseat for a while. We had her in a carrier for some easy hikes, but we skipped the glacier hikes or ones that needed the use of hands and feet to climb.

      Eight months is actually an easy time to take a baby on a trip. My daughter wasn’t mobile yet, so she didn’t mind being carried or in a seat all day. She only ate little bits of food from our plates, she mostly used bottles or nursed.

      I’ve never been to Patagonia (although it is on our list), so I don’t know how child friendly the activities are. You may have to skip some more strenuous hikes, but easy hikes or even camping with a baby is definitely doable. In Iceland we moved at a much slower pace than we had in our pre-baby vacations, but we all (even my daughter) had a great time. I say go for it!

    • Alanna of Trebond

      Just leave your baby at home. My parents went to Argentina when I was 2 years old and left me with some family friends.

    • Anonymous

      I love it. And I think he should be giving a case to every private attorney in the state.

      • cbackson

        IDK, I like appointing the governor as a move to make a point about the shameful state of funding not sure it would really be a good idea for me (eight years in practice with zero litigation experience and no knowledge of the criminal justice system) to represent an indigent defendant. Although that’s a great way to create a basis for appeal due to ineffective assistance of counsel…

        • Anonymous

          I disagree. Criminal defense isn’t rocket science. You’ll do just as adequate job as a public defender with 300 other pending cases, and quite possibly better in your particular case because you have time to devote to it.

          • Anonymous

            I find the idea that someone who has no knowledge of the rules of evidence or criminal procedure, has never set foot in a courtroom, has no idea how to question witnesses or build a case could represent a criminal defendant absolutely horrifying (I’m talking about myself here, not cbackson). It may not be rocket science in terms of the level of intelligence required, but do you honestly believe lawyers with no courtroom training or criminal procedure training can really competently represent someone? I certainly don’t feel like I could.

          • Solo

            Are you a criminal defense lawyer? I am. It’s just as complex as any other area of law.

          • Anonymous

            Yeah, I’m not disparaging it, but you figure it out. My state assigns attorneys to pro bono matters- a real estate lawyer has to figure out a DUI defense. The judge gives you leeway on procedure. It’s ok. It’s not perfect, it’s not ideal, but it’s fine.

          • cbackson

            I mean, I literally haven’t been in a courtroom except when I was sworn into the bar. I know no more about criminal defense than your average woman on the street who watches a lot of Law and Order. I’m not competent to represent a criminal defendant, and wouldn’t want someone’s freedom to be contingent on my ability to do so. That said, if lots of people in my position were suddenly faced with the obligation to do this, I suspect there would suddenly be a much greater push for better funding of legal aid.

            (And FWIW, I don’t have extra time laying around to devote to this – I have ethical obligations to my existing clients, who consume about 2300 billable hours a year…sure, they may be large corporations and thus unsympathetic characters to many, but they are my clients and from an ethical perspective, I can’t dump them or short them to take on a new client, even if a court orders me to.)

          • anon

            As a prosecutor who works in appeals, this is just not true. Yes, criminal law is fairly static with only the facts changing, but a defense attorney has to know what objections to make, what doesn’t make sense, what a reasonable offer is…. An overworked public defender probably knows that stuff cold and just needs more prep time, as opposed to not even knowing what she doesn’t know.

        • Anonymous

          I’m from MO, and this issue has been percolating for years. I can’t find the story right now, but a solo practitioner recently sued because he kept getting appointed to criminal cases. He argued he didn’t have the expertise, that it took him much longer to handle cases because he had to educate himself, that he wasn’t part of a large firm that could spread the work around, and that it took him away from his paying clients…to no avail.

          • Solo

            This is horrendous. I agree this is a useful tactic for shedding light on the problem, but as a criminal defense lawyer, I don’t want people who know nothing handling criminal cases. It’s NOT easy, and it’s not fair to force people to do it who have no interest whatsoever. There are tons of public service oriented lawyers (recent and not so recent grads) who would jump at the chance if there was actually money to hire them. Indigent defense should not be the bottom of the barrel when it comes to representation. But hey, poor people get poor everything.

        • Gail the Goldfish

          Probably true in some cases, but wikipedia informs me the governor used to be the state attorney general, so presumably he’s way more qualified than random real estate attorney who may get pulled in, for example.

          • Anon

            In our state (and every state? I’m not sure) the attorney general is an elected position. The person has to be a lawyer, but it does not require any experience in anything in particular. Our previous attorney general hadn’t really ever practiced, but worked on policy matters (which is fine for an attorney general who has a whole office of practicing lawyers who will go and actually do the work in the courtroom.) He would not have been competent to represent a criminal defendant.

          • Anonymous

            I think that’s unusual, Anon. In my state the attorney generals are elected, but they are almost always litigators and on occasion choose to argue high-profile cases themselves (the vast majority of the cases are of course delegated to others in the office). Having an AG who only does policy and wasn’t competent to do courtroom work would be very strange.

          • Gail the Goldfish

            Yea, in my state they’re elected, but typically have a litigation background and will occasionally argue cases themselves.

  17. Roach :(

    After nearly a decade of living in a modern high rise, we moved to an older building which is great in many ways (more room, cheaper, very responsive maintenance). Unfortunately, I just discovered my first c**kroach (half dead) this morning. I’m beyond grossed out. I’ve near dealt with this problem before. I will tell maintenance for sure, but what can I proactively do to prevent them from coming inside? I have two small kids so I’m also trying to limit the amount of toxic chemicals we bring into the house to kill them. We live in DC and it’s been very hot lately, so I wonder if it came in to keep cool. We also live on the first floor.

    Ugh……. any advice greatly appreciated.

    • Anon

      I’m sorry to hear this – pests are really distressing. Just…keep your place as clean as possible. Put away all food and other attractants at night. And absolutely talk to management right away.

      The thing about roaches is that once you see one in broad daylight, there are probably already many more inside that you aren’t seeing. I don’t say this to terrify you but to keep in context the whole “how do I keep them away?” question. Do your best to keep things clean but realize that this problem is larger than just your unit and management will need to find an approach to deal with them.

      • Anon

        Other advice would be to make sure you’re mopping your kitchen floors regularly, wipe counters every night, take out all trash and food waste every night, caulk any obvious holes leading into your apartment etc. Since you don’t own the place I’d start with the cleaning measures and allow management to take the lead on any repairs/extermination.

      • Veronica Mars

        Ugh. Should I be getting the traps listed below? I’ve found maybe 3 roaches (dying or dead) over the past couple of months. I know my apartment sprays regularly but I wasn’t sure what else to do about it.

        • Anon

          It can’t hurt for sure. But it’s been my experience that if you’re in a multi unit building there will need to be a larger scale approach to deal with the issue for good. So keep on management – as annoying as that is.

          • Anon

            Also, I would probably be insisting that management provide the traps as pest control, at least in my city, is legally their responsibility. And that way they also know that the issue still exists and that ou aren’t letting it go til you stop seeing them.

          • Veronica Mars

            That’s a good point. My management is overly protective of the building so I can ask for traps. They already do monthly spraying (or it might be something like every other month, I forget).

          • Anon

            Maybe if you continue to see/catch roaches despite the spraying you can encourage management to try a different tact – like, maybe a different method or chemical or frequency or company or something. But yeah I usually keep them involved so that they know how things are going.

    • Anonymous

      Ugh, I feel you. I haaaaate roaches. At my grandmother’s place in Brooklyn when you turned on the lights in the morning you would always see a few of them run away. As a suburban kid from the Midwest I thought it was the grossest thing EVER but my dad and grandmother seemed to just accept it as the price of living in NYC. Could you ask your maintenance guys to spray the place while you take your kids on a vacation for a week? (Or live in a hotel locally while they’re spraying, if you can’t take time off work.) I’m anti-pesticides too but I think there’s really no other way to get rid of roaches.

      • Wildkitten

        In my DC apartment these are the only thing that work, but they work perfectly. I’m sure they’re full of toxic chemicals but they’re contained and easy to clean up.

        • Katie

          Yup, I second these traps for use in a DC apartment. Raid works too, but these are nice to tuck into corners and under furniture where small hands won’t grab at them. Talk to maintenance, but as something easy and expensive you can do yourself, this is the way to go.

    • Anon

      Haha, I have no helpful suggestions, but this is where being from Florida is useful.

      “Oh, it’s just a roach? It isn’t a palmetto bug (aka a FLYING roach)? Then cool.”

        • Anon

          My grandparents live in Daytona Beach and are also very anal retentive when it comes to cleaning. My nonna is THE nonna that everyone imagines in their head. Their place was always spotless and well maintained and even still there were roaches.

      • From Hawaii

        This. Growing up in a tropical place, roaches and bugs are just a part of life no matter how clean you are. As long as it doesn’t fly at my face, I’m cool.

    • City advice

      Things that help – take out the garbage every evening so it doesn’t sit there overnight, wipe down your counters multiple times a day so there aren’t little food morsels, do not leave dishes with water in them in the sink without tops on them (i.e. if you leave a pot in the sink to soak, put the cover on top of the soaking pot) and put those little square black roach poison things in the back corners of your sink and the back corners on top of cabinets in your kitchen. Ultimately though, I’d also vote poison spraying over roaches, but that’s me.

    • Stevie

      I live in an urban area in apartments above a restaurant that sprays regularly. I have found one huge dying almost dead roach also and cleaned up a lot of things. I took any sugars that were in the paper or plastic bag is comes in and moved them to an airtight container, cleaned the oven and stove, and made sure there wasn’t any water. I figure that they are going to live somewhere. I read that they NEED water, so we started plugging up our sink drains when finished and covering the kitchen drains, especially at night. Also, removing any garbage at night when they are more likely to come out. They love cardboard and the tape, so get rid of any packages that come in cardboard.

      I used to do odd jobs as a teenager and one was renovating some slummy summer homes off a lake. I remember setting bug bombs for the roaches almost every night and never really seeing any dead ones. But what would always catch them is the tape we would put around windows and baseboards while painting! Gross but a good way to see if they really are around after any chemicals.

      Also, get rid of dead roaches immediately and don’t trap live ones. I don’t know if this is a myth but apparently smushed or trapped roaches give off a scent that attracts other roaches. (We trapped that big dying one under a pint glass – it barely fit btw be it was the length of the diameter of the glass and someone told me that and I left work to go get rid of it after I pictured coming home to the temple of doom when I got home if i had left it.)

      • Anon

        I just have to know – WHERE do you live?? That roach sounded HUGE! One good thing about the cold Canadian climate is small insects :-)

    • Anon

      I would put out roach bait traps. We use the combat ones and they work really well. We put them in places the kids and dog can’t get into. We live in an area where everyone has them (does not depend on cleanliness at all) and these keep them out of our house (or at least out of sight, haha!)

    • long time lurker

      Yep. Roaches. I don’t have them now but I did in my last apartment. I always had pets so I too was very hesitant about spraying. (Our old building sprayed once a month). I would allow them to spray but only non-accessible areas of my apartment (behind appliances, under sink, etc). In addition to the advice about keeping everything clean, keep your sugar, cereal, etc. in the fridge. Don’t have anything in the cupboards that smells or could be accessed by roaches. A pain, but it removes the temptation.

      Also you can buy diatomaceous earth and dust it in crevices. The tiny sharp grains scratch up the bodies of roaches and they die (slowly however).

    • Anonymous

      So…this is why I avoid living in older buildings in the DC area. Buy a bunch of OXO airtight containers and put ALL your food in them. This includes crackers, flour, sugar, cereal, rice, anything. Roaches are really attracted to water so don’t let any dishes/water sit in the sink ever. Don’t use a dish drying rack where water can pool. Put your toothbrushes away every night (GROSS I know). Put away any pet food/water bowls overnight. Have maintenance keep spraying. Unfortunately, the first floor is the worst for roaches and if you have one you have at least a hundred.

      • Veronica Mars

        Ugh. That last line makes me shudder but that’s brutal honesty for you.

    • Roach :(

      Thanks everyone for the commiseration and the helpful advice. The exterminator is coming today, which is good. We’re clearly also doing many things wrong (leaving dishes in the sink, leaving crackers out, etc.). This will all need to change ASAP. I really appreciate the comments. Clearly I’ve been spoiled living in super new buildings most of my adult life so this roach thing is completely new to me.

      • Anon

        Good luck! Also, despite my use of “cleaning measures” above I don’t think that having a roach issue is an issue of cleanliness (at least not in your case!). I just couldn’t find a better term. I posted above about the nonna and nonno in Daytona. Trust me if they had roaches it could happen to anyone. Hugs.

    • Mrs. Jones

      Your first roach? You’re lucky. If it’s hot and humid where you live, then there are roaches where you live.

    • ELaw

      If you don’t want to use poison, try diatomaceous earth.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diatomaceous_earth#Pest_control

      I have a cat who likes to hunt and eat roaches, so I don’t like to poison them. If he was harmed by eating a roach full of poison it would slay me. A few years ago I started using this instead, and have found it fairly effective. I put a light dusting of it it in the back of kitchen and bathroom cabinets, and in gaps on the sides of dishwasher and fridge. It’s completely non-toxic to mammals.

  18. Shopaholic

    Any suggestions on bags for a long walking commute? I’m about to go from 10 mins to about 40 so I probably need to carry something a bit more practical instead of a heavy bag I hold in the crook of my arm. I’d prefer leather and something stylish, if possible. Thanks all!

    • Anonymous

      Leather?!? Girl you cray. Leather is just signing up for an absurdly heavy bag. You need nylon.

      • MKB

        Heh, I was just about to say the same thing. Something nylon with good handles like the Lo & Sons OMG would be my choice.

      • Ellen

        I disagree. I also walk over 40 minitutes each way in NYC, and Leather is GOOD! I recently got a leather bag from TUMI that meet’s my needs, as I have a daily walk of over 2 mile’s each way, and I try to carry as littel as possible b/c I have enough of MY OWN WIEGHT to carry. Dad insists I walk, and monitor’s me remotely every day on the FITBIT, so he can see NOT ONLY HOW MANY Step’s I take, but ALSO When I TAKE THEM! FOOEY! Technology is great, but at the same time he know’s when I walk, and when I do NOT. I think the OP ought to go into L&T or Bloomie’s and check out their INVENTORY, or just check out TUMI on line. Dad says a good TUMI is good for the TUSH, and I agree b/c I carry alot and it does NOT even bother me. YAY!!!!

      • Veronica Mars

        Ditto. I’d also go with a backpack personally for that long of a commute.

      • Anonymous

        I’m a lawyer with a commute and I rock a backpack. All of the energy companies in my building give their employees backpacks so it’s the norm to see their people running around with backpacks and I just blend in with the pack.

      • emeralds

        Yeah I…cannot imagine anything other than a function-over-form backpack for a 40 minute walking commute. I’ve been varying between 25-15 minutes of walking (one-way) for the last year and don’t even bring a ton of stuff–most days is just a lunch bag, clutch/wristlet, work shoes, and other purse flotsam like a makeup bag, umbrella, travel mug, etc. So I probably have a less-intense situation than you will, and I can tell you that your back and neck will not be happy with anything other than a lightweight backpack. No, my backpack is not stylish or pretty, but this is not the time to take a stand on being fashionable.

    • Carine

      Agree with anonymous–look at nylon. I have a nylon MZ Wallace tote that I carry when I need a break from all my heavy leather bags. It’s light, has lots of pockets, looks professional.

    • Shopaholic

      I refuse to get a nylon bag and/or a backup. I hate the look of nylon and I just can’t with a backpack. Any suggestion on leather bags that may be more lightweight or practical? I know it’s probably not ideal but I love fashion and refuse to wreck my outfits with an ugly bag.

      • emeralds

        If you’re really insistent on throwing your back out (and believe me, I was you in grad school, until I in fact threw my back out lugging my leather tote around campus), something like this is probably as light as you’re going to get: http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/madewell-transport-leather-tote/4334283?origin=category-personalizedsort&fashioncolor=DARK%20CABERNET

        Faux-leather would be lighter. All of my fashion students are carrying some variation on this bag: http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/sole-society-oversize-faux-leather-shopper/4328325?origin=category-personalizedsort&fashioncolor=BLACK

        • Blonde Lawyer

          This will out me but I started law school with a broken shoulder and took to carrying my giant books around in a rolling suitcase. I was so embarrassed but . . . I started a trend! By the second month there were a lot more suitcases and full on hiking backpacks. Those books were intense!

      • anonanom

        If you really won’t consider nylon or a backback, I would look at a really nice men’s messenger style bag.

        I drool over the leather on some of them. I assume that either they are not as heavy as my leather bags, or the larger strap helps with the weight.

        • anonanom

          I’m in love with that bag – it even has a zipper! I have the hardest time finding large leather totes with zippers.

      • anon prof

        Whatever you get, be careful about it rubbing up against your clothes and pilling them. I notice this where my (horrors, I guess) backpack rubs, and same on my hip if I carry a cross-body bag.

      • Brit

        I just gave up my walking commute (1.5 miles each way) and had a Tumi Voyageur Hallie backpack. Got loads of compliments.

        I share your feelings re nylon and backpacks. But every so often I’d try to take a messenger bag or heavier bag instead and my back was in knots the following morning. And I’m in objectively great physical shape.

      • bgo

        I have a great Cole Hahn Leather tote that I love (I actually plan to buy a 2nd one in winter colors) – it is leather and is just a basic open tote so not especially heavy on its own. I cram it full of wallet, kindle. accessories bag (with tissues, contact solution, comb etc), breakfast and lunch, pair of non-commuting shoes and sweater for the office everyday. Only downside is no top zipper. But it is great. I bought it in June so I am sure they still have them either at the regular store or the outlet.

      • Aunt Jamesina

        I’m a huge stickler for not wearing what I call “gear” out and about: no flip flops (even leather) unless I’m at the beach, running shoes are for running only, etc. I’m generally the most dressed up of anybody at work and while socializing. But guess what I use on my weekly 35 minute walking commute? A nice, padded North Face backpack. It’s all black, so not that offensive looking. I caved after doing the walk with my nice leather tote just once. Cross body and tote bags also wear heavily on your clothing– with a backpack, the strain is at least spread over a larger area. Good for your clothing and your back!

      • Scarlett

        I have the Cuyana tote w/ the zipper top – it’s really lightweight. not sure I’d want to walk for 40 mins with it, but I don’t think it would kill me.

      • kga

        Backpacks seems to be now in fashion, though. I see them all over from Zara to Michael Kors and I’m sure that a lot of other retailers have them too. They aren’t sporty; think of leather, studs, minimalistic designs and bag-like aesthetics. Otherwise, Longchamps nylon bags are great too. And if you still don’t like these options – go ahead for something fashionable over practical, if this is your priority! :)

    • DC Anon

      I recently transitioned from a 10 min to a 30 min walking commute. I’ve started wearing workout clothes, running shoes, and a backpack with my work clothes and work shoes in it, then ducking into my office building’s gym and changing into my work clothes. Same thing in the evening (change back into my workout clothes and walk home). It also makes it convenient for me to fit in a workout after work since I’m already changing into my workout clothes. I’m all about tricking myself into exercising.

      The other thing to think about is that 1 hour and 20 min of walking a day with nice shoes and your work clothes is going to be VERY hard on your work wardrobe. Not to mention the sweating when it’s hot out. That was a big consideration for me in choosing to change for my walk.

  19. AEK

    I am over the NAS. Over it. Almost nothing I want in my size is available, I’ve had multiple orders canceled after they were processed, and shipping is delayed for weeks. Nordstrom tries so hard to cultivate their customer experience, and it all seems to go out the window during the sales.

    • anon

      For sure. I reeeeeally wanted a pair of cutout booties for late summer / early fall, specifically a NAS pair. First they were scheduled to ship 9/30, then unavailable altogether. Thumbs down.

      • anon in SV

        Buy the right color in the wrong size and then exchange later. They will honor the NAS price.

  20. Van anon

    I am wondering what type of pants or jeans /casual trousers are considered current right now? Lately I have been wearing black narrow (not skinny, but fitted) jeans that end at the middle of my ankle, and dark indigo bootcuts. I usually wear the black skinnier jeans with flats, and the bootcuts with a wedge heel. I still like wearing slightly flared trousers (I have subtle pinstriped ones), but pretty much no one at my casual government workplace wears these anymore (though I still think they suit my hourglass figure best)

    I want to replace some of my more worn out items, but do not know what style, colour or fabrications to look out fot, or honestly what shoes to wear them with to make my look more current. (I wear mostly dresses and skirts to work, but would like some jeans/ pants for the transitional weather where legs are cold, but tighypts are too hot).

    Thanks in advance for your suggestions!

    • AnOn

      +1. I think a more classic leg looks better on my hourglass shape to balance the hips. Not flare, but just straight enough to have a little volume at the ankle. I don’t do any flare but I fell like anything not “skinny” is perceived as dated right now. But I feel like “skinny” or ankle hugging makes my hips and rear look huge and seems too form fitting for the office. I’d be interested to see if these general perceptions are in my mind or if “straight” / classic legs are still okay on work pants.

  21. Therapist in Denver?

    Hi all, I need a recommendation for a really good therapist in the Denver area. It’s for a friend who has come to me and said that he thinks he is depressed. He’s 37 and single and is dealing with the idea that he’ll never get married and have a family. I help him as much as I can, hanging out, inviting him to events, etc but I can’t be there all the time, and he needs someone to talk to. Any recs appreciated.

  22. Anonymous

    Calling all people who are smarter than me about health insurance . . . I am scheduling an elective surgery which is covered by my insurance and need to figure out whether it is better to have it scheduled this calendar year with our current insurance plan or next year with the switch to an HRA/HSA plan. Let’s assume the surgery will eat up my entire OOP max because I find it hard to believe it wouldn’t.

    Current Ins:
    – Deductible – $500
    – OOP Max – $3k (100% coverage after OOP Max is reached)
    – OOP Paid to Date – $370
    – Co-insurance – 20%

    HRA Option Next Year:
    – Account Contributions by Employer: $1100
    – Deductible – $1750
    – OOP Max – $3k (100% coverage after OOP Max is reached)
    – Co-insurance – 20%

    HSA Option Next Year:
    – Account Contributions by Employer: $950
    – Deductible – $2k
    – OOP Max – $4k (100% coverage after OOP Max is reached)
    – Co-insurance – 30%

    If my math is right, I would pay $2700 in 2016, $2350 in 2017 with the HRA, and $2950 with the HSA, with the remainder of my health insurance costs being covered 100% in 2017. It seems like a no brainer to schedule the surgery early in 2017, right?

    • SoCalAtty

      Don’t forget to calculate in the savings you’ll get by paying the costs out of your HSA, which is tax free!

      • Anonymous

        Thanks! I didn’t for this exercise only because I wasn’t including any of my own money in the accounts – purely what my employer is putting up with no cost to/no money from me.

    • Digby

      This is not the way I would expect health plans to pay, but maybe your plans operate in a different way. I would expect your OOP to be your total cost, before any employer contribs to HRA/HSA are factored in. So this year, your total cost is $3k. Next year, with the HRA, your total cost is $3k; after employer contrib to the HRA, your total cost is $1.9k. With the HSA, your total is $4k; after employer contrib to the HSA, your total cost is $3.15k.

      In addition to SoCalAtty’s comment about the pre-tax savings on your contribs to an HSA, you may also want to factor in your premium costs. I’m assuming your premiums for the HRA will be higher than for the HSA, since the HRA seems like a richer plan.

  23. Cubicle Dwellers

    For all the ladies in open cubes, how do you read this site without making it so obvious to your colleagues? I know my coworkers regularly go on ESPN, etc. so it’s okay (to a degree) but I’d also rather not look like I have too much capacity or like I’m online shopping.

  24. Bonnie

    +1 leather is going to add a lot of weight. For a walk that long, a backpack would be your best bet.

  25. Not Becky with the Good Hair

    I”m moving to the South soon – any good foundations that will hold up in the heat and humidity and not leave me looking like I’m melting and cake-y? Also looking for hair products too!

    • Mrs. Jones

      Welcome to the south! Consider powder (like bare minerals) instead of liquid foundation. Also try different anti-frizz products, like John Freida. Obv it depends on your skin and hair though.

      • H

        +1 to Bare Minerals! I live in a fairly humid city, although not as humid as being right on the gulf coast (not Houston or New Orleans humid) and Bare Minerals works pretty well for me.

      • Em

        I tried Bare Minerals and didn’t find it had enough coverage for me. I use a powder foundation from Loreal that I think is also cheaper.

  26. Anonymous

    I just need to scream this from the mountain tops. I found out that I was 15% underpaid compared to the average person in my position. I negotiated a 10% raise in July. I told them that I was happy-ish that I was closer, but I am constantly highly scored on my reviews so I should be making more than average. I started applying elsewhere for a job that pays 30% over average for exactly the same thing that I want to do. Well I got that job and not only do I now have a net 40% increase in pay from 2 months ago, but its moving more in a direction that lines up with the graduate program I am in. I just want to shove the offer letter in their face and say this is what happens when you don’t pay high performers what they are worth. I know I shouldn’t do this, but even just the thought of it makes me feel good.

  27. Really asking for a friend

    A friend of mine was hired for an admin position at a mid-sized private company and has made herself indispensable. They have asked her to submit a job description and to essentially create a new position for herself, replacing the duties of few people who’ve departed recently.

    She’s done a lot of research, and the national average for the job is 60% more than she’s making now. She would be happy with 50% more. She has to make the first offer and write her own job description. She’s also interested in tuition reimbursement and extra PTO as alternative “sweetener” to salary.

    This is her first time to pitch and negotiate a salary like this. She asked me for advice, and I offered to post here and ask the hive. What say you, ladies?

    • Em

      Assuming she is in an average market, she should ask for 70% more than what she is making now so that if they counteroffer she can accept 60%.

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