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Updated: Oct 30, 2018 141 Comments · by

Suit of the Week: Halogen

Suit of the Week |

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Affordable Women's Suit: Halogen Herringbone Stretch SuitFor busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional. The Nordstrom Anniversary Sale marches on, but it's ending soon — prices go back up August 8. Lots of stuff has sold out already, but much of the new fall merchandise is still available at temporarily reduced prices — including this simple herringbone pants suit from Halogen. I've mentioned before the pitfalls I see with pinstriped suits, but herringbone suits don't have the same set of problems with pattern alignment and more. Considering it's available in regular and petite sizes for a bit less than $150 all in, this is a pretty great deal. The jacket (Halogen Herringbone Stretch One-Button Suit Jacket) is $89, and the pants (Halogen Herringbone Stretch Straight Leg Suit Pants) are $58, both available in regular and petite sizes 0-14. There's also a coordinating skirt (Halogen Herringbone Stretch Suit Skirt) for $39 –but only lucky sizes are left. Here's an equally affordable plus-size suit in the sale. P.S. Macy's has a bestselling, reader-favorite heel on sale right now (plus an extra 20% off with code SALE). (L-all)

Sales of note for 9.10.24

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Comments

  1. waffles

    MM Lafleur question –
    I’m finally ready to pull the trigger on MM Lafleur. I don’t want to order a bento box because I would like to pick out my own items, but I would love suggestions for what pieces you all love! I’m thinking of a couple dresses and maybe a jardigan.
    What are the best dresses for pear shapes? The etsuko is described as “hips friendly” and I love the idea of sleeves and pockets, but I’m having a hard time visualizing that dress on my frame.
    For reference, I’m 5’5″, 150lbs, waist 27″ hips 39″

    thanks!

    • Amanda

      I just ordered the etsuko (and the Nisa dress in charcoal and the rowling top in birch). I already have the Nisa in teal which is beautiful, and I have the Giovanna dress in black/white pattern. I love them both. Both dresses fit me (5’4″) just above the knee, but they do have others that are at/below the knee if that is what you prefer.

        • Amanda

          For me, the dresses and skirts all fit similarly to how they look on the models (surprising because I’m much shorter). I would guess all of these are below the knee – The Monique, Susan, Masha, Maria, Catherine, Etta, Magdelene. The Stevie and the Hannah almost seem to be tea length to me, too. Annabelle, Casey and Rachel seem to be right at the knee. I tried on the Williamsburg skirt which I loved, but it was below the knee on me, and I don’t like how longer skirts/dresses look on me.

          They are great about returns, very quick and no hassles for me, so I’ve been erring on the side of ordering more and returning if needed.

    • BankrAtty

      I just went to an MMLF pop up. I’m a pear as well (5’2 135lbs, 32-27-39ish) and all of their dresses labeled “hips friendly” fit me pretty well across the hips/thighs in a size 6, with the exception of the Nisa which was just a little tight for a professional setting (IMO, of course). The Etsuko, which is basically the Nisa with sleeves, fits me like a glove (the stylist told me it runs a little bigger through the nips than Nisa). Some of the dresses ran a bit long through the torso on me, but that’s to be expected at my height. The jardigan is gorgeous, but I ended up exchanging it for another dress–I can’t wait for it to arrive!

      • SoCalAtty

        Agree with all of this! I did the pop-up in LA a few months ago and I’ve been really happy with everything I purchased.

    • AttiredAttorney

      I would still strongly strongly recommend the Bento, just to get the free-both-ways shipping. You can be really prescriptive in your stylist notes – just tell them all the dresses you want! Since there’s no styling fee on your first one (and none on the second if your stylist strikes out completely on your first), it’s really the best way to do it. Cap Hill Style just did a great post on advice for ordering a Bento to make it what you want. I wish I had followed the prescriptive advice to the stylist rule myself on my first.

      • meow

        Agreed. Also, I’m planning to buy something else, so to get to try more things/get free shipping, I’m going to do a Bento just to get the one thing.

  2. anonymous

    Wanted to share an interesting interaction I had with an old friend I just ran into and haven’t seen in years. He works for the Republican Party in our state. His job is to literally get Republicans elected. And he is voting for HRC. “I have always been a Republican and will vote Republican down the ticket, but I will vote for Hillary. Not abstain, not Green party. I’m voting for her, donating to her, and telling others to vote for her.” Wow.

    • Anonymous

      I know several lifelong Republicans who have said the same, and there are a few prominent Republicans like Meg Whitman who have publicly endorsed Hillary. It gives me hope. But yet, they remain essentially tied in the polls……

    • Anonymous

      I’m a republican and voting for Hilary, but I don’t always vote straight along party lines…I think ideally you vote for the best candidate.

      • Anonymous

        I had the pleasure (seriously, he was great) of listening to Colin Powell speak recently, and while he stopped short of saying he’s voting for HRC, he encouraged everyone to vote for the best candidate irrespective of party affiliation. He also downplayed the State Department e-mails quite a bit, and praised the American legacy of opportunity for immigrants; I got the impression he was supporting her as much as he thought was appropriate in the situation, and loved him all the more for it.

    • OP

      I think what was surprising to me was that he didn’t stop at “don’t vote for Trump” or “I hate him” (but then not saying more, so maybe a hold-your-nose-and-vote-anyway). His job is to help Republicans get elected all throughout the state and he isn’t abstaining or voting Green. He’s voting, donating, and telling others. That surprised me.

      • Anonymous

        Why would he vote Green? That makes way less sense than voting for abstaining or even voting for Hillary. Many Democrats complain that Hillary is too close to the Republicans in terms of policy positions; Jill Stein is probably to the left of Bernie Sanders.

      • Anonymous

        I’ve heard of it happening in the past – in state level races where the candidate who ended up as Republican on the ballot was… problematic. Like National Socialist problematic.

    • Anon HRC

      +1 Republican voting for Clinton. Is your friend by chance someone with a foreign policy or national security background? That so far has been the group of conservatives most likely to violently oppose Trump. Good for your friend, in any case.

  3. anon

    Ugh. My direct manager supervises three areas and clearly has a favorite – not mine. He totally projects how much he doesn’t want to have oversight over my sector and goes days without interacting with us. I just found out he is on vacation for the next four days… because I got his out of office reply. Guess we won’t be having that staff meeting tomorrow.

    This is ridiculous, right? Oh, and it’s our busy season. Talk about some poorly timed time off.

    • Amanda

      That’s frustrating. Maybe he doesn’t feel as comfortable or knowledgeable in your area. Or maybe he trusts you to run your area effectively without him needing as much input.

      It is ridiculous that you didn’t know he was on vacation until the OOO reply!

      • Julia

        Ha. I work for one partner who insists on reviewing everything and I regularly learn she is gone for the week through office gossip.

  4. Anonymous for this

    I have alopecia universalis (no hair anywhere on my body including eyebrows and eyelashes). Besides my family and a few close friends no one knows. I wear a wig and fake eyelashes and draw my eyebrows on. Looking at me you would never know unless I told you. I wear these things all the time, even if I’m just running out to the store or something. My family has seen me when I am “bare” when I was younger but not lately, and so has my best friend and two serious ex-boyfriends (ex’s for reasons unrelated to my alopecia). A few other friends know and have seen photos of me without it have never seen me “bare” in person. I am certain they love me and would never judge but I prefer if no one saw me “bare”.

    A new person just started at my work. She also has alopecia universalis. But she doesn’t wear a wig at all ever (she did the interview bald as well). She doesn’t draw on her eyebrows either and only occasionally wears false eyelashes. Obviously people have been curious but she is totally open and says she hasn’t worn a wig or drawn on eyebrows since she was 17.

    I admit that I am envious of her and her personality and confidence. I would never in a million years let a stranger see me “bare” and as I said above I don’t even want for my family or close friends to see it. I would have a panic attack or die of embarrassment. She got married without a wig or eyebrows. I have has two serious long term relationships with guys that I didn’t mind seeing me “bare” (things ended for reasons not related to my alopecia). I wouldn’t get married bare in my wildest dreams.

    We are otherwise similar in appearance (same body and skin type and weight) and we share a similar fashion sense and have often complimented each other’s clothes. My envy is of her confidence and security. No one who works here has judged her or said anything (and even if they did she would tell them off) so I’m certain I wouldn’t be judged either. After elementary school no one who has found out about my alopecia or seen me “bare” has bullied or judged me (kids are jerks). But the thought of being “bare” in front of strangers terrifies me. I would rather jump out of a plane while covered in spiders lol. My cousin says I should just do it but while I love her it’s easy for her to say because she has long, thick brows and long eyelashes. I wish I had my co-workers confidence and charisma and could just not care. But I have no idea he to stop being such a scaredy cat. I can’t even bring myself to tell her that I have alopecia also.

    (Excuse any typos as I’m on mobile. Thanks for listening to me vent)

    • nutella

      I don’t have this problem, so take it with a grain of salt, but I think baby steps are for you. That is – if you want to do something about it. If you are fine keeping on as you have, then good on you! If you want to start going natural, try baby steps. Maybe first drive in the car like that a few times, then run a quick errand where you won’t see anyone you know or go with a trusted friend/family member, maybe you hang out with friends/family at home, maybe you work up the courage to tell your colleague that you admire how fabulous she looks and her confidence because you have the same condition, maybe you wear a fabulous scarf or hat or sunglasses or lipstick to feel great while you are trying it out or maybe you do eyebrows/lashes but no hair sometime. I think workplace is a different bird and maybe it takes you a while to get used to that; that’s ok.

    • cj

      She sounds totally amazing. I can’t wait to hear about what it is like when you meet her and talk with her about your experiences….. because it could be really great for you. She may be able to give you some perspective and support that only someone else with alopecia universalis can give.

      What luck she is working with you, don’t you think?

      But I can understand why this is also totally anxiety provoking, and can bring up a lot of mixed emotions for you. And being in a work environment ads another twist. Don’t be so hard on yourself, and take it one step at a time.

      Ugh….. kids….. If only we could skip from birth to adulthood and miss the scaring damage of childhood. And if you are reading this and can’t imagine why I would say this, then count your blessings. And maybe reflect a little…

    • KT

      Everyone’s experience is very different. I have alopecia areata. Some days I have eyebrows, most days I don’t and I always wear lashes.

      I quite honestly wore wigs in the office because IT WAS SO DARNED COLD.

      You have to do what you are comfy with.

      When I have gone wig/eyebrow free, I’ve had complete strangers come up to me in the grocery store hug me and tell me they were praying for me…assuming I had cancer. That was awkward enough I shoved the wig back on.

      • You are hilarious

        You have the best wig stories and also a great attitude. I love it. It makes me smile. Thank you.

      • Never too many shoes

        Seconded. I would honestly love to know what it is about you that causes such a strong reaction in randoms that they come up and talk to you this way!

    • Amanda

      I agree that you should just do what makes you comfortable. I hope you two are able to become close – I bet you could share your fear with her, and she would totally understand. She probably went through similar fears at some point in her life, and she may be able to give you guidance on how she got over her fear. She also probably has some funny stories about it, too.

      • Anon

        Yes – I met someone through my last job (incidentally named Amanda) who I connected with on a very personal level and we shared a few tough situations in common. Being able to be completely honest with her helped me so much. In my case, I was really struggling with mental illness and she mentioned offhand one day that she had in the past too in the exact way that I was and then I opened up to her and then I found the courage to get treatment for myself. She provided a lot of the resources and support for that. I recommend reaching out to her and letting her know how much you admire her and why (because you have the same condition!).

        • Anonymous

          This, this, this. In my opinion it would be appropriate to say something along the lines of “I really admire how you have embraced this condition” and either leaving it open or maybe adding “I am considering doing the same to some extent and would appreciate hearing about how you went about it if you’re open to sharing.” I’m assuming this woman can tell you have the same condition – even if it’s not immediately obvious to most, it’s probably something that people with the same condition are more adept at picking up, no?

  5. Charlie Rhoades

    Shopping assistance requested: ISO awesome West Wing gift for a close friend. She listens to the West Wing Weekly podcast and has watched the whole series at least five times. The podcast had a pin that said “What’s Next?”, which would have been perfect, but it is sold out. Any ideas? Budget around $30/can be flexible for perfection.

  6. Anonymous

    Bralettes – I’m not sure I understand them…..

    Who wears these and when? Definitely not professional, yes?

    I am a very flat chested 32A, but I still appreciate a little form I guess… and not having nipples show through. These look like attempts to get back to the 70’s braless look.

    What am I missing here? Do normal women wear these, or just carefree models in menstrual cup ads?

    • Diana Barry

      I wear for sleeping in when I want support, or with loungewear. Not out of the house, though! I am a 32C-D.

      • Anonymous

        +1 I’m about the same size and wear my underwires most of the time, but change into a bralette for evenings and (sometimes) on weekends. At a certain point I just got sick of wearing a full bra all the time, but I’m too big (i.e. it’s noticeable that I’m not wearing a bra) to be comfortable going out braless in the summer (in the winter I’ll occasionally go braless to run to the grocery store because I’ll have a coat on). A bralette is comfortable and provides a little bit of shape and support.

    • Anonymous

      They’re ubiquitous at concerts and festivals, worn either alone or under a top/dress that has an open back or deep arm holes. I’ve really liked the trend because I can have at least SOME support when I wear tops that I can’t wear a normal bra with. So much better than the bandeau bras they were showing for a while.

    • Lyssa

      I’m pretty flat, and I find them more comfortable sometimes. (I go without regularly, too, though I feel less comfortable with that as I get older and less . . . tight.) I agree that they are less flattering, so I wouldn’t wear one when I’m aiming for a “fully put together” look (i.e., work). I don’t think that I look braless when I wear one, just not as shapely, so I don’t mind wearing them when I’m visiting with family, or out running errands, or something like that when a little support/coverage is good, but I don’t need a lot.

      The ones that I have are older and from before they got trendy, though.

    • Bonnie

      Somewhere between a bra and bralette is VS’s new easy bra. Never thought I’d go back to VS but these are amazing.

    • Amanda

      I wonder if I could wear these (with a bra under) to start wearing some backless tops. I am a 34 DDD, so there’s no way I’m getting away with wearing just the bralette!

      • Eh...

        I wonder if a nice/lacy racer-back/front closure bra would work better? I’m just not imagining the bralette over bra things looking good.

    • anonymous

      So, I wear bralettes out. I’m a 32DD, and ~30, so I feel like I shouldn’t, but I wear them with tank tops or with a loose t-shirt that’s low cut in the back. So loungewear around the house and out but only on weekends. The ladies are fairly perky though, and if they weren’t I probably wouldn’t be able to do this.

      • Blonde Lawyer

        Is the Coobie a bralette? I’m a 32DDD and wear the Coobie when I want to be comfy but don’t need full on support. Like wearing loungwear to the grocery store. I wear a shirt over it obviously. I think it provides decent support and shape but I still look better in a full on bra in regular clothes / sports bra when working out. I wear them for me.

    • Shopaholic

      I wear them with backless/low back shirts, or shirts with loose armholes because I like the look of a bralette better than showing your bra. (obvi not at work…)

    • Wildkitten

      I hated the way I looked in them. I thought they’d be fun and they were not fun for me. So buy one, try it, see how you feel!

  7. Veronica Mars

    I got the pink Guess Envelope coat from NAS! It’s gorgeous in person and I’m absolutely keeping it. It seems warm and cozy for the winter, and since I live in a moderate climate, I’m keeping my standard size and not going with 1 size up for layering. It looks so tailored and expensive in person!

  8. Anonymous

    For those in biglaw and similarly demanding fields – let’s say it’s Friday afternoon and you have a full-but-manageable week coming up and no reason to expect any surprises in your existing workload. Do you preemptively work over the weekend to free up some some for yourself during the week just in case something comes up? Let’s assume you’re not super junior.

    • Anonymous

      No way. My philosophy after a year or so of proving myself was to seize every free weekend, because they didn’t come around very often. It might be different if you’re in a field that never has crises, but in my area I was lucky to get one free weekend every month and you better believe I clung to them for dear life.

    • Ellen

      Unless I am in the HAMTONS, I always spend a few hour’s EVERY Sunday afternoon (between 3 and 6PM) getting ahead in my upcoming billeings for the upcoming week, so I can focus on my substanteive work between M-F. I do NOT like to waste time billeing my hours during the week, so I do the billing task’s ahead of time. I recomend this to the ENTIRE HIVE! YAY!

    • JayJay

      No way. I think it’s a style approach because I know some people that would do that. But if I can manage all my work during the week, then I won’t work weekends unless it’s unavoidable.

    • Anon

      NO. I learned to take my breaks when I get them bc I find that if I don’t do it that way — there will ALWAYS be something I can get down on the weekend. Now if it is a one time thing that I really prefer to do on a weekend so I can have free time during the week — i.e. write a brief on a Saturday so I can be out early and go to dinner with my friends Monday, fine. But just to work ahead — NO. And if you do it, I’d advise you NOT to send out whatever work product you did on the weekend if no one is asking for it on a weekend or first thing Monday morning. Sending it out once in a while is ok to show how hard you work, but if you do it all the time every weekend — at my firm, it becomes — oh Anna will work the weekend if we need her to — bc they’re SO used to seeing weekend emails from you every weekend that they think it’s no big deal.

    • nutella

      NO. As a mentor once wisely told me: the prize for eating the most pie is more pie.

    • anon

      Only if I had something I thought I might need extra time to accommodate- leaving work early for a dinner, or a doctor’s appointment. It’s been a major challenge for me to actually relax on my off-times rather than viewing them as a wasted opportunity to do more work, but actually relaxing is FAR better for my mental health.

    • Aurora

      No. One of my partners has a motto for this: run to daylight. In other words, if you see a break, run for it, take it, seize it, enjoy it, don’t regret it. We have so many long hours and long nights and “dark” times that when you hit a light at the end of the tunnel, the best thing to do is capitalize on it. Surprise free weekend? Sleep in until noon, go for a hike, see a movie, throw a last-minute party– whatever it is you need, take it. These little breaks have kept her sane for many many years and it seems to be keeping me fairly well-balanced so far.

  9. Momata

    Weekend wear question: I wear business formal during the week. I have two very small children, so not only have I barely gotten dressed on the weekends for the past several years, but when I have, it’s been in athleisure wear and to accommodate a bump/nursing. Me, my empty uterus, and my dry b00bs are going to NYC next weekend for a girls’ weekend, and we have nothing to wear. What are the kids wearing these days for walking-around fun days? I have a short shift dress picked out for dinner.

    • lawsuited

      I think the kids are wearing high-waisted short shorts and crop tops as usual, but I’m wearing rompers, boyfriend jeans, and loose blouses.

    • Anon

      Ultimately, if you were shopping or sight seeing, I would wear a great fitting pair of jeans, comfy sandals or sneakers (I think the cute New Balance shes JCrew had for awhile would be perfect for this), a solid/stripe t-shirts, a long necklace and you’re good to go. Bring along a cardigan s or a cargo jacket for day. Love the shift dress idea for night time out to dinner or to a show. Keep in mind to bring wedges or flats you can walk in too!

      I loved some of the t-shirts that were in the NAS and got a few different colors just for occasions like this.

    • buffybot

      While I agree that these outfits sound stylistically sound, it is August in NYC. It will be HOT. You may have a higher tolerance than I do, but walking around this city in jeans in the summer is tantamount to torture for me. Especially if there is any chance you might be on the subway. Agree that a scarf or cardigan is needed for overactive air conditioner, but a jacket would be complete overkill.

      I would wear some kind of casual dress or an A-line skirt with flowy tank or blouse, lightweight scarf for flair/air conditioning and shoes you can really walk in – slip on sneakers or sandals with some arch support.

      In terms of more specifics, anthropologie, madewell, everlane or loft usually have casual dresses along the lines I am thinking.

    • NYNY

      The kids (in their 20s) are wearing open back tops with bralettes or plain old bras sticking out, high waisted shorts, crop tops, and rompers.

      The grown-ups are wearing casual dresses and cool sneakers. Be a grown-up. It’s way easier.

    • Anon

      For that trip, a comfy trapezey t-shirt dress with fashion sneakers and big sunglasses

  10. Panda

    I suffered from a pretty bad concussion in late June and I’m incredibly frustrated in my body’s seeming inability to heal. I have not gone a single day without a headache in 6 weeks. I am so over this. I’ve been to the hospital and the doctor many times. They just tell me, “it takes time…” I’m ready to feel normal! Okay, vent over.

    PS wear a helmet. Always.

    • SoCalAtty

      HUGS! I’ve split a helmet or two in the past coming of a horse and ended up with a concussion. I’m so glad you’ll be ok with time! It is frustrating, concussions take forever to fully resolve. I have recurring tinnitus as a result of my last one. PT helps sometimes.

    • Amanda

      It is frustrating that they know so little about head injuries. I hope you feel better soon!

    • lost academic

      ALWAYS wear a helmet!

      I feel your pain, in large part because of chronic migraines. Zen hugs to you!

    • Charlotte

      My friend has a more severe head injury but it’s still being labeled a concussion. She stutters when she speaks and the doctors just keep telling her it will be okay. I feel so bad for her but she is doing everything she can. She tripped over a really long land line phone cord!

      I have another friend with a head injury and he had the worst migraines for almost a year. The only thing that helped him was to get these piercings on both sides in the cartilage of his ears.

      Just sharing because I guess it could be worse and also in case of future problems for alternative therapies. But sorry to hear you are going through this. Hugs

  11. Too much time

    If you had two months between graduation and your job starting, what would you do with that time?

    • Wildkitten

      Sleep. Exercise. Clean. Travel. See people. Read books. Learn Cantonese.

      • Anonymous

        Exercise and Read. Travel only if you can afford to whether it is international or local.

    • Anonymous

      Travel! If you’ve got loans or aren’t going to be making a lot of money, Southeast Asia is a great place to visit where your money will go far. If you’re lucky enough to be unconcerned about money, I’d go to Australia. You could easily stay there for two months without seeing everything.

      • Anonymous

        100% agreed. You will never get this time back and you will likely not have 2 months off again for a really long time.

    • waffles

      100% travel. One of my biggest regrets is not taking time to see the world when I was younger. Personally I would go to South America!

    • Anonymous

      travel travel travel if you have the money. Don’t just loaf around your parents house. You will most likely never have this much un-interrupted free time again in your life (unless you are lucky or insanely wealthy or take a leave of absence or something)

    • Anonymous

      Loaf around my parents house because I did not have money to be doing all this spectacular traveling everyone talks about! It was nice. I cooked a lot, went for long walks, read a bunch, helped my mom with projects.

    • Momata

      What they said – TRAVEL. This is the one time I would even recommend putting travel on a credit card, if you know your soon-to-be-received salary will allow you to pay it off in one or two cycles. You’ll never be this free again.

    • Veronica Mars

      Everyone says travel but I didn’t. At the time I was kind of travel-ed out (having recently done a study abroad program and another travel heavy job). I kept my low-stress part time job and got an unlimited yoga pass at my local studio and went 5 days a week. It was awesome and exactly what I needed to decompress.

      • Veronica Mars

        I should also say, I used the money I got from my part time job to move into my new apartment and fund a later European vacation.

      • SoCalAtty

        I did something similar, but horses. I rode every horse my trainer would let me sit on, sometimes up to 6 in a day. I’ve never been happier or in better shape.

        I think a break like that is an opportunity to really get into any hobby you might have – horses, yoga, dance, hiking (a long backpacking trip?) whatever.

    • lawsuited

      Travel whether or not you have the money. You have many years of earning ahead of you, but will never, ever have 2 months away from work again (unless you are on maternity leave, sick leave or lose your job, none of which scream “carefree times for leisure travel”).

      • Anony

        This is a little dramatic. If you want to have two free months off work at some other time in your life, you will find a way. I spent 6 extra months in a job I wanted to quit so I could save up enough of a cushion to have a few months off and not have to immediately find a new job. Please don’t panic: this is not your last chance at freedom for the rest of your life.

      • Solo

        This is ridiculous. Also, FYI, some of us don’t like to travel. It doesn’t make us bad uncultured people. You all are some real travel snobs.

    • Anonymous

      I would travel too, but I wouldn’t go into debt or drain your emergency fund to do it. Even if you think you can replenish it quickly once you start working, it seems a little risky. I guess I’m coming at this from a lawyer perspective but so many people hate Big Law and want out ASAP and I’d hate to see you lock yourself into something that makes you miserable for a year or more, just so you could take a fun vacation. If you don’t have much money, you could take a road trip (cheap transportation) across the US to visit friends (free housing). Or if that doesn’t sound appealing, take a lot of day trips from your current place. Take advantage of your freedom, but don’t do it a way that sabotages your future self (and hopefully you will have both time AND money to travel in style retirement!).

      • Anon

        I agree with this advice. I’m about to start a new job in a new city and had about a month off here. “Off” being a sort of hilarious way to describe the situation because I was really in the throes of unpacking and settling with the endless to do list that entails. But anyways, I took advantage of the fact that I know nothing about this city to really explore like a tourist. It felt like a vacation but I never left.

    • anonjrassociate

      Agree with all of the advice to travel, and agree with this being one of the only situations in which I’d put travel on a credit card. One of my biggest regrets is not taking a bar trip before starting work, even though staying home was the financially responsible choice.

      That said, if you decide not to travel and are brainstorming other ideas, I heartily endorse what I did in lieu of a bar trip: we adopted a kitten (had been planning this anyways), so I played with the kitty, did plenty of day drinking, and re-read all seven Harry Potters.

    • Too much time

      So I actually have about five months off. I went to Southeast Asia and Europe for several weeks, and I’m also going to Argentina and Canada. So lots of travel already planned!

      Is there anything else you would do if you had a month to dedicate to learning?

      • Anonymous

        Yoga (or pilates) teacher training, if you’re into that sort of thing. I used to fantasize about quitting my job and becoming a yoga teacher.

      • Anonymous

        Hi. I’d explore my options. I’d kill some brain cells. I’d read 400 romance novels poolside. For the love of god just live a little for once.

    • Anon

      If it’s in the late summer, volunteer to house sit for everyone you know! Good way to travel but keep costs down.

    • Monte

      I would (and did, when I was in this situation) run a lot. In addition to traveling, when I had a few months off, I wound up in great shape, because I had nothing I absolutely had to get done. So marathon training became my focus, and I loved it. Mix in some serious reading, some moderate day drinking, and you have a great way to spend the summer.

    • Mariah

      Turns out I’m really bad at “relaxing.” One week out of the bar and I’m READY TO DO THINGS. NOW. Traveling next week and moving for a few days the week after but I’m going crazy.

    • Banks

      Assuming not an unlimited budget: Stretch everyday, get all my projects done that I have been putting off forever (tshirt quilt, photos from college, and transfer the recipes I actually like from the recipe books I have to an electronic app), eat healthy and cook more, visit with all my friends more and proactively follow up with them instead of reacting to invites, finish the books I want to.

      Assuming you have some expendable cash: travel and see friends, replace anything in my house that needs it (need a better blender etc but don’t have time to research, could use some new bathroom towels), hire a personal trainer

  12. Bonnie

    Any recs for a mosquito zapper? The ones on our back deck are insatiable this year.

    • June

      It’s not a “zapper”, but have you tried a Thermacell? It has a little gas cartridge and a refillable pad with a volatile bug repellant chemical.

  13. Anonymous

    I work in research and consulting. My new boss has a PhD and is a member of MENSA. He is well published and we’ll respected in our field. He just spent the last 20 minutes telling one of my collegues that she shouldn’t put on sunscreen or go outside with an umbrella and covered up by clothes. My colleague is a melanoma survivor but the boss told her that sunscreen and covering up/avoiding the sun is what causes skin cancer, not the sun or tanning beds. He was dead serious and told her he doesn’t want to see her doing any of that again. My jaw is on the floor. This is a man I had so much respect for. He has written about how harmful the anti-vaccination and homeopathy (the treat cancer with radishes kind of homeopathy) movements are. I have attended his lectures before and thought everyone was brilliant. I can’t even wrap my head around the fact that he thinks such a thing about skin cancer.

    • Anonymous

      No advice, but that is cray. And I hope your colleague doesn’t listen to him. She needs to do what’s (really) best for her health and ignore this quack.

      • Anonymous

        Oh yeah, she just rolled her eyes at him and told him he needs to read the journals he’s published in sometime. She is wowed by his views too though because I know she also respected him. So are our other colleagues who overheard him.

    • Anonymous

      People are not perfect and they tend not to fit perfectly into the boxes we have created for them.

      • Anonymous

        Um, telling people that covering up and avoiding the sun is not a far cry from “not being perfect.” It’s actively harming another person.

        • Anonymous

          I meant: “telling people that covering up and avoiding the sun CAUSES skin cancer”

          • Anonymous

            Yes, I know that, thanks. My comment was targeted at the OP’s assumption that someone with a PhD and who is in MENSA was automatically going to be a genius and smart in all areas of life and the world.

          • Anonymous

            Some people are idiots despite what is on their CV. This should not be news to anyone.

          • Anonymous

            I don’t think it’s unreasonable for OP to assume that a very intelligent person with a PhD wouldn’t hold opinions that are blatantly contradictory to decades-old, very well-established science. Smart people pretty universally accept scientific facts as facts.

          • Eh...

            “Smart people pretty universally accept scientific facts as facts.” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Even smart people have blind spots – especially if it squares with their personal experience (ie, I’ve never used sunscreen and never had cancer and read an article about how UVA and UVB blocking chemicals caused cancer in mice.)

            If they have a PhD and advertise they are in MENSA they are MORE likely to believe they are right about the things they believe, but are not any more likely to acutally be right, particularly if it is something just outside their area of expertise.

          • Terry

            My first thought after earning my PhD was ‘man, they give these to everyone’.

    • Aunt Jamesina

      Like the stereotypes of Crossfitters and vegans, it seems that MENSA members have an imperative to let others know they belong to MENSA. Having a high IQ doesn’t always mean you have common sense– and I sometimes find that people on that end of the IQ bell curve tend to cling even more tightly to misconceptions because nobody is ever able to argue truth into their thick skulls to their satisfaction. If I were your colleague, I’d be tempted to pass some medical literature his way (but would probably stew over it, think of doing that, and then do nothing). What a maroon!

      • Sarabeth

        It’s such a weird thing to join – it seems to exist solely for the purpose of getting to announce your superior IQ to the world.

        • Wildkitten

          I’m a joiner and even I can’t figure out the point of joining MENSA.

      • LAnon

        I’m in Mensa. I thought it would be a good way to meet new, interesting people at a time when 90% of my friends were work friends and I wanted to branch out a little. I’ve been a member for ~5 years and go to events every couple months, usually brunch meetups, cookouts or board game nights. It’s on my resume, but I don’t mention it otherwise.

        Mensa events are definitely a roll of the dice. There is a higher proportion of insufferable people than you would otherwise meet, MUCH higher. Those people usually see Mensa events as an opportunity to prove that they’re the smartest person in the room. However, I really enjoy the time I get to spend with the non-insufferable people there. It really does attract people from all walks of life and especially the older folks often have led very interesting lives. Also, sometimes you meet really smart kids / teens who are very bright and tremendously socially awkward – it’s obvious many are grateful for a “safe” space to be their weird selves.

        Long story short, someone who announces to the world that they’re in Mensa is probably in the “insufferable” group, but hopefully you don’t think everyone in the group is like that. Most people probably don’t mention it.

        • Aunt Jamesina

          I’m a day late, but I could see it attracting some fascinating people from an older generations, especially since participation in formal social groups was much more common in prior decades. I should clarify that I definitely don’t think most Mensa members fit the profile of the idiot above. It just seems like somebody who’s already a pompous jerk and happens to have a high IQ would be really attracted to joining for the bragging rights.

    • Banks

      I’d be interested to see what he is basing that on if it were me personally. Almost everyone on both sides of my family has had pre-cancer burned off of their legs, arms, or faces as a result of never using sunscreen in the 60s and on and my grandfather who was in the Navy in the Caribbean died of skin cancer (refused to do anything about it and it spread). So based on that family history…whatcha talkin bout?

      Also, he better not be one of these tan dreamboats who never burns.

      Also BOB MARLEY

      Okay okay rant over

  14. CameraShy

    First firm job means it’s time for professional headshots! I’m unreasonably nervous. I hate having my photo taken. Any tips on how not to look like I’m maybe sitting on a porcupine/being slowly tortured out of frame? Colors/accessories/hair styles to avoid? (That last one was tongue in cheek. I think.)

    • Anonymous

      See what background they are using for the headshots and check out a few headshots to see what they wore. My firm does headshots on a white background in natural light without professional lighting (awful!). I mimicked the best outfit I saw on the firm’s website: bright blue top (could have also been red, purple, or another primary color) and dark-ish jacket. Pale colors were too washed out and black was too harsh. Jewelry just didn’t look right in the pictures. I probably would have worn something else if it was an outdoor shot or shot on a dark background.

    • full of ideas

      Be upfront with the photographer. He/she will understand and may have some ideas to help you come across better in the picture.

    • LAnon

      Some good news: you will look great! Good lighting, a top notch camera and a professional photographer are about a thousand times more flattering than your typical cell phone snap. I would suggest wearing slightly more makeup than you usually do – when I’ve had to do head shots, I always feel like I look more like “me” in the picture if I’m wearing eyeliner and a little extra blush.

      • Kk

        I would avoid wearing white, as sometimes retouching messes with the color of white shirts. If it was me, I’d wear a classic jacket with a collarless shell underneath, and avoid any ‘busy’ jewelry- a simple pendant or pearls, and simple earrings. If you usually wear glasses and feel comfortable in them, then wear them for the photo. Definitely a little extra blush and eyeliner, and search the corpor*tte archives for more tips- you will look beautiful!

  15. Dishwasher?

    Does anyone have a dishwasher they love? I realize this is way off-topic but I’m in information overload and this group has a lot of good recommendations. My price range is $800-$1000. Thank you!

    • KS IT Chick

      I have a GE that I’m pretty happy with. My late mother picked out a Bosch that she loved enough to completely remodel her kitchen around.

      The one tip I have for dishwasher shopping: take the largest/longest items that you’re likely to put in the dishwasher with you and make sure they fit. We were deciding between the GE & the same-size Bosch when I realized that the lower rack of the Bosch didn’t look quite as big. We were in one of the big home improvement stores that also has kitchen equipment, so I ran over & grabbed a plastic cutting board & a cookie sheet. Neither fit in the Bosch in any dimension, but they both fit in the GE.

    • Cat

      We have a Miele and love it. It fits so much more than our old dishwasher thanks to a denser prong layout and having three drawers inside.

    • Too tired for Mondays

      Fisher Paykel dish drawers. But it’s just me and the SO which means smaller loads, and I hate the bending down. We have one on each side of the sink and alternate them.

  16. Sydney Bristow

    The dishwasher question reminded me. Does anyone know of some sort of container that I could put in my dishwasher to hold smaller plastic items? I like to throw my popsicle containers on the top rack, but sometimes they get knocked off and fall to the bottom of the dishwasher then melt when the heater comes on. I need some sort of cage for them but can’t figure out what it might be called to google it.

      • Ms B

        That’s the one! We use a set of dishwaher baskets that we originally bought for The Kid’s bottle parts. Great for small lids, Zoku sticks, corn holders, water bottle lids and other tsotchkes.

    • Anonymous

      I think you want a basket that they sell in the baby section… Marketed to hold bottle parts but just as useful for other small items!

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