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Updated: Oct 31, 2018 149 Comments · by

Thursday’s TPS Report: Grayson Jacket

The Personal Shopper (TPS) |

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Babaton Grayson Jacket | CorporetteOur daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. I'm usually more in favor of sleeker blazers, but if a slouchy, boxier look is your thing, this silk Grayson jacket at Aritzia is on a pretty great sale — now $77 (was $155). It's available in both a light and dark gray, and I kind of like it as styled here with a white midi skirt (but please: no crop tops at work unless, perhaps, you work in fashion). It's available in sizes 00-10 (and also comes in solid colors for $82-$115). Babaton Grayson Jacket Here is an alternative that's available in petite and plus sizes; here is another plus-size option. Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-#)

Sales of note for 9.30.24

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. Clementine

    Husband and I are looking at taking a trip in late August to somewhere relaxing. I’m leaning towards driving somewhere and am looking for less than 8 hours from the greater NYC area.

    Nowhere in New England, but this will be our last kid free trip for a while, so I’d like to make it somewhere nice.

  2. BeenThatGuy

    Wow, all the way up to a size 10. Thank God designers are making clothes for the average American woman. Snark.

    • AnonForThis

      Well, I am super duper into the idea of a silk blazer so I will certainly be buying this, though probably in one of the solids. And as pretty much every designer ever has said, its really hard to make things look nice on larger sizes. Even most plus sized models are about a size 10.

      • L

        So plus sized women should just accept it and look frumptastic, right?

        Sure, it’s probably more difficult to make clothes for a variety of sizes, especially when you’re going for low quality mass produced garments. But I refuse to accept the idea that we should be “punished” by the fashion industry for being larger than whatever size they deem appropriate.

        My fat @$$ will happily drop money somewhere else. And not on something so ugly.

      • M pls

        Eyeroll – “hard to make things look nice on larger sizes”? That’s a load of crap (from this size 12, sometimes 14.) Sure, the advertising model is a smaller size, but that doesn’t means you can’t MAKE or SELL things in larger sizes.

        Also, it sounds like a lack of imagination (or motivation) on the part of the designers, not a failure of the human body.

      • Anon

        It’s also really hard to make things look nice on judgmental jerks because their attitude tends to ruin the whole look.

      • Baconpancakes

        I’m not super heartbroken that this fugly snakeskin print 80’s throwback doesn’t come in my size, but hey, it’s a good thing all women who wear sizes 0-4 are shaped exactly the same and always look good in the same things, right? Otherwise, they’d have the same issues that us size 12+ monstrosities have, with some women having longer or shorter torsos, longer or shorter legs, wide or narrow shoulders, big or flat chests, larger or narrower hips, and different heights. Right?!?

      • Anonymous

        The commenters may feel as offended as they want but AnonForThis is totally right.

        • Anonymous

          Nothing like anonymous support for the radical dangerous position that fat people are unspeakably hideous and could not possibly look attractive in . . . an oversized flowy blazer?!? Like. What? Next thing you’re going to be saying it’s hard to make muumuus for us.

          • Anon

            Being a size 12 isn’t. It’s not even overweight for many women. Sorry you don’t seem to fit in on this s1te, I’m sure there are other places you may enjoy better.

          • Anonymous7082

            Anonymous @2:00pm – I’m 5’6″, 135lbs and I wear a size 12/14 because of my large hips and runners thighs. I can run a 7:30min mile, I eat a primarily vegetarian and organic diet. . .but go ahead, call people fat and unhealthy based solely on their pants size.

        • AnonForThis

          Thanks. I’m not sure why the anger is directed at me though. I’m just saying what hundreds of designers have already said.

          • Anonymous

            Because its a jerk thing to say? Its a jerk thing to say when they say it too.

          • M pls

            And implicitly agreeing with them by restating it and assuming it is true?

            And I kind of doubt it’s “hundreds”.

          • Anon

            It’s not really a difficult task to make a garment one inch larger in circumference, aka size 12 vs size 10, and any decent designer should be able to do that. What you’re saying is that someone who has a stomach an inch larger than someone else looks bad and designers shouldn’t design clothes for those hideous fatties. That may not be your intent, but that is what many people perceive your comment to say. You may as well be that dude from Luululemon who defended the poor quality of their yoga pants by saying that pilling is the fault of those gross fat women who have thighs that touch. People are mad at you because you’re parroting things that dicks have said, which makes you one, too. Hopefully that clears up the mystery for you.

          • girl in the stix

            And people wonder why traffic is down on this site. Don’t feed the trolls.

      • August

        How about designers lack the creativity to make clothes look good on a larger person?

        • L

          I think a lot of designers could easily do this (and probably have the creativity), but that would encourage the notion that we’re people who deserve clothes too. God forbid anyone move beyond the standard that women’s bodies should all look a certain way for the enjoyment of others.

          AnonForThis, presumably you are an educated woman. How you can’t understand why such a comment would be rude or damaging is beyond me.

        • Bitter Betty

          Now we’re getting closer to the truth. See also: Sleeves are too hard to make.

        • Linda L.

          I’m short but average sized, and am fortunate to be able to find clothing pretty much anywhere. Of course I need alterations on occasion and high end designers don’t make much that fits me either but I’m not going to complain as I do not go through what a larger than standard sized woman does when shopping for clothes. I think designers are missing out on boatloads of money to be made from non-standard sized women. Yes, it’s harder and more expensive to expand your size range, but the profits would more than compensate for those things. And maybe it’s not the woman who doesn’t look good, it’s the sub-standard clothing she’s forced to wear because that’s all that’s available to her.

        • LilyS

          Yeah – shouldn’t, you know, ‘how to cut clothes that look good on bodies of all shapes’ be in design school?

          This is why I stopped taking Textiles in high school – it got all fancy-design, rather than how-to-cut-to-fit.

      • S in Chicago

        Wow. Really gross. I’m tall but I wouldn’t say this to someone complaining petite options weren’t available (and that’s easier to work with using alterations).

        Sometimes the lack of support for one’s fellow (wo)man astounds me.

        • lsw

          Agreed. I wear a size 12, I’m 5’10”, and I’m in the healthy weight category for my height (not overweight). So I fail to understand this concept that someone who wears a size 10 and is 5′ even is “easier” to design for than me.

      • Alana

        This comment is why it is clear that the societal ideal is a tall, thin hourglass, and that many women harm themselves in order to meet it. It’s unfortunate that many women also harshly judge other women about these things.

        Happy, well-adjusted people don’t make such comments.

        *I will admit that body shape variations create more problems in larger sizes, but people of all shapes and sizes gravitate to the companies that suit their shape. One company could work for plus-sized rulers, another for pears, another for apples, etc.

      • West Coast

        I think you might be confusing ‘hard to make look nice’ with ‘hard to make’. As a size 12, one of the reasons I buy expensive clothes is because the superior tailoring makes the clothes actually fit me–and trust me, the clothes look great.

        To reference Mad Men, it is harder to cut and sew a dress for Joan than for Betty… But Joan by no means makes the clothes look bad.

        • lawsuited

          +1 I don’t think it’s particularly hard to make clothes look nice on bodies over size 10. I’m a size 18 and I look damn good every day.

    • Shopaholic

      FWIW, Aritiza is not really intended to be worn by the average woman. It’s a Canadian company that mostly caters to hipster teenagers. That said, I find their blazers/blouses tend to run big. I’m usually a 4 but I’m an XXS in the silk blouses and a 0-2 in blazers.

        • Anon

          Eh, I am tall, and I have a HARD time finding clothes. Everyone says the ideal is tall and whispy? That’s pretty much me. Yet no one is making clothes for this ‘ideal!’ Or shoes!

          I think most of the reason is laziness. If designers knew they could make a killing selling more sizes, they would. Standard sizing is the easy route for them, so that’s what they stick with, especially smaller brands (such as this one)- smaller not sizing, I mean sales-wise.

  5. Wanderlust

    In “you get what you pay for” karma, the hem of my J.Crew Factory skirt completely unraveled sometime between when I put it on this morning and when I arrived at my desk. Sigh.

    • Anon a mouse

      My ON Pixie pants burst at the crotch seams this morning. First wearing. I’m just thankful it happened at the breakfast table at home, where I could change, and not at my desk.

    • Blonde Lawyer

      A few well placed staples will keep you covered in a pinch. Just staple it backwards so the straight across piece is on the inside and the smaller metal bits are on the front. I did this on my pant hem once and it worked so well I wore them a few more times before getting them properly fixed. Likely more obvious on a skirt than pants but better than nothing.

  6. About to bail due to tech issues

    Kat,

    I’ve been reading this site for probably 5 years, and I value the community you’ve fostered. But I’m close to calling it quits due to the persistent tech issues over the past few months.

    – I use Internet Explorer at work (required) and this site causes it to crash, repeatedly. The crashes ONLY happen when I’ve opened this site, so it is easy to pinpoint the source of the crashing.
    – Comments don’t load (on my work computer, or home or phone, without refreshing, and sometimes not even then)
    – Sometimes I comment and it never shows up. Ever. No objectionable words.
    – The ads that play sounds!!

    Please, get your tech guys to fix these things. Or get new tech guys. I’m sad to see the commenting dwindling, and I suspect a lot of it is attributable to the fact that this site is REALLY not user friendly anymore.

    Signed,
    A past, present, and hopefully future reader

    • anon

      I have to agree. Other s i t e s have exploded during the past few years, like Ask A Manager, mostly on the basis of the robust commenters. Meanwhile, there were so many comments here a few years ago, and I suspect many of the same people are reading/lurking but not posting because it’s become so incredibly frustrating to post. Comments just don’t work right here.

      It makes me really sad because I love the community here, but it’s fading fast. Is this fixable?

    • Anonymous

      Yeah, all the tech issues are really annoying and Kat trying to portray them as user errors is borderline offensive.

    • Kat G

      Thank you so much for reading! Have you emailed us about these issues so we can troubleshoot with you directly? (Particularly about when they started occurring, how long they’ve persisted, etc.) Please do — we really appreciate this feedback since we can’t catch every error — multiple browsers, multiple platforms, etc, etc.

      Particularly re comments not showing up — you may be going to spam. The email form for tech support (and spam test instructions) are here: https://corporette.com/tech/

      The tech problems drive me crazy too, guys, and every time I hire someone new they introduce new problems. I’ve tried to get up to speed myself in MySql, PHP, and Javascript, but ultimately I’m a writer, not a tech expert. (And as the site continues to grow, the tech challenges do as well.)

      Re the audio ads — I’ve told every ad company I work with that I will not tolerate them. Please email me as soon as you see them. I’ve told them all I’m close to bailing… but that affects the bottom line which means I have less money to throw at tech support. Not your problem, but… yeah.

      Thank you for your patience; I really do value every reader.

      • L

        Kat, with respect to the issue I raised, it’s not my comments. It’s the issue of number of comments appearing. It seems to get ‘stuck’ and only through refreshing repeatedly, am I able to get it unstuck and view new comments.

        • Kat G

          Comments present a problem for caching — without caching the page load truly sucks. (It still stinks now, honestly, even with caching partially turned on.) In the past when I’ve investigated it the answer seemed to be Disqus (which I personally hate and can never get to load — plus it requires sign-in, and I’ve always felt strongly that this site should allow you the option of anonymity) or moving to a forum, which last time it was discussed people hated the idea of a forum.

          Just emailed Alison at AMA to see if she can recommend good tech help… fingers crossed.

          Just FYI, guys, I’m away from the computer a lot on Thursdays — will check your comments later but this will probably be my last for a while. Please email us through that form; that goes directly to my tech guys as well as to me so they can look into it.

          • Meg Murry

            FWIW, you, Alison at AAM and Wendy at DearWendy all seem to be having the same kinds of tech issues with ads that block comments or have pop-ups or autoplaying sound, that all started at the same time, and makes me suspect you use the same ad network. Any chance you could get together a critical mass of bloggers/web page hosters to say to your ad network “fix it or we all bail at once”?

          • Kat G

            AMA and I are not on the same network for sure, don’t know about the other blogger.

            The audio ads have never been as bad as they are right now, and all of my networks tell me audio and video ads are the future. Joy.

            Personally I think we should all boycott any company that thinks it’s a good idea to create audio ads.

          • Anonymous

            This is a new issue within the last month, if that helps in resolving things. Also new posts aren’t showing up without lots of reloading. The solution is never Disqus.

      • Walnut

        Kat, it takes a minimum of 3-4 refreshes for any new comments to show up in Chrome on a PC. Trust me when I say I am very adept in web browsing and it is definitely not user error. This site is the only one I’m having issues with.

        • Meg Murry

          Have you tried a “hard refresh”? Instead of just hitting F5 or the “reload this page” symbol if you don’t see new comments, do either ctrl+F5 or click in the address bar then hold down ctrl and hit enter. When I do that, my comments show up immediately as long as I’m not in moderation. Annoying, but it gets me by and appears to get me the new comments immediately.

      • About to bail due to tech issues

        I don’t. I refer to a group of people as “guys”. If I’m meeting my girlfriends for brunch, I’ll arrive and greet everyone with “hey guys!”.

        I fully appreciate that ladybrains are capable of tech work :)

    • anyanony

      It would be nice to have all the problems fixed and restore the commenting community to prior levels.

    • Coach Laura

      For those having tech issues while using Internet Explorer, try using IE “In Private”. Whenever I have issues with pages, I use In Private (or Chrome’s Incognito) and it helps with almost all of the crashing problems. It also allows me to “subscribe” to Kat’s posts, while not using In Private doesn’t.

  7. Anon

    How do you all manage your money, on a practical day-to-day level? I’m finally not living paycheck-to-paycheck, am out of debt, and want to start budgeting/saving. I’ve tried things like Mint, but never seem able to keep up with that kind of highly granular, uber categorized budget. Trying to just spend $100/month on clothes doesn’t work for me, because what I need to buy varies so much every month.

    Here’s a system I’m thinking about, but am curious what others think:

    -10% pretax to 401k (my employer gives a base contribution but doesn’t match)
    -10% to emergency-fund/long-term savings, transferred to savings with paycheck
    -10% to short-term savings (travel, gifts, etc), transferred to savings with paycheck
    -50% to necessities (rent/utilities but also doctor, transport, food, dog walks)
    -20% as discretionary (beauty, restaurants, shopping), transferring whatever is leftover at end of month to saving

    What do others’ budgets look like, and how are you managing transfers, joint accounts with spouse, credit cards, etc?

    • Math Chic

      I hate tasks and the granularity of things like Mint would drive me nuts.

      Just invert your order: make the savings that you want your first priority instead of your last. Then give yourself a weekly allowance in cash for anything that you’d usually use a card for (I think it helps to see the cash leaving your wallet). Immediately move $ via bill pay to any amounts you have charged so it’s not sitting in your account as if you stil have it. If you can move the mandatory savings / leftover bucket to the top, your habits should adapt to it.

      • Anonymous

        I read her order that she *is* doing savings first. The amount being transferred to savings as “leftover” is just what she didn’t spend out of her 20% discretionary, rather than rolling it over to the next month for more spending. She’s still doing 30% savings first.

        • Math Chic

          I was reading it as the % left over was not as expected, so I was pulling more $ out of the waterfall at the top (b/c there really isn’t budget creep in the rent or other fixed expense categories) to have the effect of limiting the restaurant – random stuff – too many cabs budget creep.

    • Anon a mouse

      I love YNAB. It lets you allocate money by category, but if you don’t spend it one month, it rolls over to the next. For instance we allocate a set amount each month to a travel category, so that money is earmarked for it, and then when we take a vacation it comes out of that category (regardless of whether it is literally paid for by credit card or cash). It’s a different way of thinking about things but the forums and videos are really helpful to get started. And you can make your categories as broad or as granular as you want.

      And I agree with the PP that you should allocate to savings first and then spend what’s left, rather than the other way around.

      • Sydney Bristow

        You could absolutely set up your categories to fit just these percentages and have it not be too granular. I assume the pre-tax wouldn’t need to be a category at all since it won’t ever enter your bank accounts. You could set up a category called “Necessities” and budget 50% to that and then a 20% “Discretionary” category that will clearly show you how much of that amount is left at the end of the month so you could transfer it to savings.

        The problem might be that you have to enter everything manually. That sounds like it might not be ideal for you. But you can get a free (month-long, I think) trial for free to see if it is something that might work.

        • Ginjury

          Yep, you could totally just have a few categories. I too am a big fan of YNAB. I tried Mint for a short while a long time ago and it just didn’t work for me. The difference between YNAB and Mint is that Mint is much more hands off and tracks the money you’ve spent (at least when I tried it a while back) whereas YNAB has you plan how you’re going to use the money you have. The latter is more effective for me in meeting my savings goals and keeping my spending on track.

          The only issue with the trial is that, last time I checked, you still had to buy the phone app, which is what makes tracking so easy.

      • Anonymous

        Never tried YNAB, and see lots of people like it, but want to note that Mint can function just like this. It is all in the way you set it up. Categories can roll over from month to month. You can plan for a one-time annual expense. Your expenditures can be tagged very specifically, or very generally. And it will learn from how you tag things how to tag them automatically in the future. I like the automation and granularity of Mint, because I can see without much effort that I’ve spent too much specifically in an area that I don’t prioritize, and that is where I can find additional savings in the future. But most of the time, I look at it from a macro level like the OP wants to, determining if my savings and debt repayments are progressing the way I want them to, if I’m throwing away money on food, or if I have spent enough on travel over the last few months, or can justify a trip in the context of annual goals.

    • Houda

      I do not bother with precise percentages.
      A specific amount goes straight to my savings, loans etc.
      Whatever is left will be spent as I wish during the month but with some guidelines:
      – I never exceed a specific amount on meals but if I do something overboard, I skip other outings to a reasonable extent
      – Before buying something, I have to double check my wishlist: I have backed off from a number of purchases this way
      – I monitor my bank account a couple times per week and since I get paid 3rd week of the month, that’s when I pay all my bills then I get to know how much extra money to save or spend

    • Meg Murry

      In order to do something along the lines of what you are talking about, we have multiple bank accounts – the main ones being 2 checking accounts and a savings account, and our paychecks get direct deposited accordingly. One of the checking accounts is our “bills” checking account which pays all our fixed expenses (mortgage, car payment, anything with a bill that is the same every month or within $25 of being the same). The bills checking account is at the same bank that holds our mortgage, so we can easily make the payments by automatically transferring the amount. The other checking and savings account are at a different (local) bank, and we spend out of those accounts with a debit card, or occasionally a card that gets paid off automatically 100% every month, like a Target credit card, and that account is for items that are either discretionary or fluctuating – because it doesn’t really matter if the natural gas bill is necessary, for instance, if it is a higher amount than normal we have to cut our expenses elsewhere and that is usually on “fun” things. We also automatically transfer to our savings account, which is (mentally) divided into 2 parts – a base amount of money that I feel we really need to have and don’t dip in to in case of major emergency like multi-month unemployment to pay our mortgage and the rest which is more of a “life happens” fund that we dip into for circumstances like the car unexpectedly needing new tires.

      We log on to see the status of the daily expenses account regularly, and have a mental floor of $1000 that we don’t want to let it get under. By working our system this way, we are still basically living the same “paycheck to paycheck” mentality of not spending money we don’t have, but we are putting money into savings first and then only spending what is left over. It works for us.

      You mention “finally not living paycheck to paycheck and are out of debt”. One quick and easy way to save more is to go back to the place where you were living paycheck to paycheck and paying debt – how much money did you have as take home (that wasn’t allocated to debt repayment) then? Take that number and add a small cushion (5% maybe?) and use that as your bills + daily expenses number, then put the rest into short and long term savings. That was the best advice I was ever given as to how to save – when you get a raise, once you get the first check for that raise, adjust your direct deposits or transfers into savings to get you basically back down to the point you were at previously – you won’t even miss the money you didn’t used to have, and your savings will grow without having to pinch your budget.

    • LilyS

      I use Goodbudget (which is a little like YNAB I think) and to avoid the granularity I have rather wide categories.
      ‘Food’ includes all groceries, eating out, coffees, etc – especially since if I’ve spent too much on groceries I fix it by buying fewer coffees out and about.
      ‘Shopping’ is all non-necessary beauty, clothes, fun home shopping, etc.
      ‘Health and Beauty’ is medications, sport (although I’m thinking of separating that out), things like shampoo and shower gel, haircuts, and so on.

      I also try to leave 50-100 Euros of leeway between my ‘spendable’ money for the month and what I actually put into categories, so that if I have an unusually high monthly spend in one category it’s fine.

    • Must be Tuesday

      I hate strict budgets and have never been able to follow them. When I first started getting my finances in order, I paid off all my credit card debt. After that was done, I looked at what my total income was, what my fixed and other recurring expenses were, and how much I was spending on other things. I cut items where I could. Then I figured out how much I wanted to be putting to savings every month and how to distribute the savings amounts. Most of my savings are in retirement accounts, but a few are in regular bank savings accounts or non-retirement investments for (1) emergencies, (2) non-recurring expenses that I know will happen but can’t predict exact timing and amounts (like car and home repairs), and (3) planned large purchases (right now I’m saving for a trip to Hawaii and a bathroom renovation).

      My transfers to savings are set to get taken out of my checking account automatically the day after my paycheck gets deposited. I also set my bills to get paid automatically every month. I do all my spending on credit cards and I pay off the cards in full every month. If I’m a little short one month, I’ll borrow the money from a savings account to pay off the credit cards, then I’ll cut back on spending a little bit the next month so that I can return the borrowed money to my savings account and still be able to pay in full my new lower credit card bills the following month.

      Beyond that, I don’t think about how to balance all the specific items against each other. This system works really well for me because I planned ahead of time how much I would devote to discretionary spending and I check up on myself monthly to make sure I’m staying within the amount and I periodically review the big picture allocations, but I don’t have to do regular bookkeeping or think about how/whether each individual purchase fits into my budget. Like Meg Murry said, it’s sort of like still living with the paycheck-to-paycheck mentality of not spending money that isn’t there, except that I am not actually living paycheck-to-paycheck.

      Of my gross monthly income, these are approximate allocations:
      35% mortgage (including insurance and property taxes)
      8% utilities and groceries
      14% savings
      22% income taxes
      1% public transportation (which I take to work)
      2% health insurance
      4% school loans
      remaining 14% other (including eating out, uncovered health expenses, payments/insurance/gas for my unnecessary car that I use for fun and to run errands, travel, fitness classes, clothes and shoes, books, Netflix, theater tickets, household items, whatever car and home repairs/maintenance I can afford to pay without digging into savings, etc.)

    • Anonattorney

      My system is almost exactly the same as Must be Tuesday’s. I use Mint to track all my accounts and have everything set up on auto-pay. Right now I do the following transfers:

      10% of gross pay into 401k
      17% (it’s a round number) of net paycheck automatically into liquid savings
      12% of net paycheck to loans
      ~45% of net paycheck to mortgage+utilities and fixed monthly expenses (e.g., phone bill), all on auto-pay

      whatever is leftover gets spent on food, shopping and other fun stuff

      Right now loans are getting knocked out, so once they’re gone the 12% will go into retirement savings. We have a 6-month emergency fund already, so the liquid savings is for house/health emergencies, larger important purchases, and travel.

      I base all our spending on (1) ensuring our retirement contributions are at least 10%; (2) paying off loans aggressively; and (3) keeping our liquid savings above a comfortable threshold. Beyond that, I don’t sweat the details too much on how much I’m spending on the fun stuff.

  8. Venice?

    My husband, two children and I will be in England this December. We have the opportunity to spend about 24 hours in Venice. Does anyone have any experience with Easy Jet? Would you make this trip or would you wait until a later date when you’re going to just Italy? Where would you stay, eat and what would you do?

    The kids are easy travelers and are looking forward to a new adventure. Chances are we’ll make it to Italy at some point, but I just don’t know when.

    Thoughts are welcome

    • Anon

      I would not fly from England to Venice for just 24 hours. If you want a day trip, take the train to Edinburgh. Or Paris.

    • Math Chic

      Absolutely. I’ve had some of my best micro-vacations as 8 hours in City X.

    • First Year Anon

      Venice is definitely doable in 24 hours. I wouldn’t spend more than 1.5 days there anyway. It is a bit of a long flight though.

    • Anonymous

      Venice is certainly doable in one day, but that seems like too far for a hopover. I agree with Anon to go somewhere closer like Edinburgh or Paris this time, and save Venice for when you do a full Italy trip.

    • HSAL

      I don’t know anything about the flight time, but my general rule is that I need to have more fun, awake time in a place than the round trip travel time.

    • PJ

      If you haven’t been there, I would suggest going to Dublin instead. There is lots to do and it is a short flight from England.

    • LilyS

      Easyjet are generally fine, but watch out for how far away from the cities the airports they use are. I’ve never been to Venice, but in London they often use Stansted, which the word ‘s***hole’ was invented for, I’m afraid.

      I wouldn’t bother with the trip to be honest – the hassle of a whole new language and currency, going in and out of Schengen, and so on, really isn’t worth it for such a short time – I know I’d want a day to recover afterwards, so unless this is right at the end of your trip and you can recover on the transatlantic flight, I can see it causing you to spend the next couple of vacation days on go-slow.

      What I’d propose instead is 18 hours in Scotland. Get the sleeper train both directions and spend a full long day in Glasgow or Edinburgh.

    • Min Donner

      Agree with the above commenters – you COULD do Venice in 24 hours, but I’d stay closer. If you’re wanting to venture out, a quick trip to Scotland or Ireland would be much easier, or you could pop over to Amsterdam (which has a great science museum and lots of nearby windmills). Unless, of course, the purpose of Venice was a family gathering or some other sort of meaningful event, in which case, go for it.

    • AN

      Do not go to venice. It has become totally cheap and tacky due to the massive influx of foreign tourists.
      We went 15 years ago, loved it and returned this Easter with kids. Hated it.

      Try florence ….and you can go to Pisa which is 45 mins away. Or even rome.

  9. Asideralis

    I’m really not a fan of this blazer. It looks very 80’s and not in a good way. I don’t know of anyone it would flatter.

  11. Chicago Neighborhood Recc

    Hi, late 20s/early 30s young professional looking for what neighborhood to move to in Chicago without breaking the bank or living somewhere sketch. Work will be in the Loop so somewhere I can walk to an El. Thinking Lincoln Park, Wicker Park, or River North. Any thoughts? Thanks!

      • anon

        I live in Roscoe Village and totally love it. That said, I’m in my late 30s with kids, and so are many of the folks in the neighborhood. if I were 10 years younger and had no kids, I’d move to lakeview, bucktown or wicker park. If I was that age and had tons of money, I’d move to Lincoln park.

    • espresso bean

      Those are all great neighborhoods, but they are very different. It depends on your personality, budget, and what you want out of a neighborhood. What’s your budget? How long of a commute are you comfortable with?

      My thoughts:

      River North
      Pros: You can walk to work. Major transportation hub. Near the lake, shopping, restaurants. All the perks of being centrally located.
      Cons: Overpriced, kind of generic/touristy in parts, and can be a concrete jungle. A little soulless, IMO. But lots of gorgeous high-rises.

      Lincoln Park
      Pros: Pretty, tree-lined streets. Stunning architecture. Cute shops on Armitage. Proximity to the lake and park. Near DePaul, so you get the energy that student life provides.
      Cons: Also overpriced. People are rather homogenous. Can feel very yuppie/bougie (admittedly, I AM yuppie/bougie, but it can feel like too much for me!). Used to be the center of everything, but a lot of the energy and new openings have moved west. Some parts can feel a little too young/ post-collegiate if you’re closer to 30 than 20.

      Wicker Park
      Pros: A little more edge/personality than the other two neighborhoods. Lively, vibrant, young. More new openings and excitement than Lincoln Park.
      Cons: Depending on where you spend most of your time, being west/off the blue line can be less than ideal for going north. Annoying 19-year-old hipster wannabes.

      Other neighborhoods to consider: West Loop, Lakeview, Roscoe Village,

    • jc

      If you don’t want to break the bank, River North is probably out unless you want a studio. Lincoln Park or Wicker Park are probably the sweet spot – lots of L access, nice places at reasonable rents and lots to do. You might also think about Lakeview or Logan Square too. Good luck! Chicago is awesome.

    • Must be Tuesday

      Lincoln Park, Wicker Park & River North are all great neighborhoods, but a bit on the pricey side. Logan Square & Lakeview have similar access to easy transportation to downtown, but aren’t quite as expensive. South Loop (especially the further south you go), Bronzeville, and Pilsen are even less expensive and it’s still easy to get downtown, but they can be inconvenient if you frequently go out to locations in other neighborhoods.

    • Chicago Neighborhood Recc

      Thank you all so much! I’d sacrifice size of the apartment for location. I’m going to hunt up some of these spots!

    • Anon

      If you don’t want to be somewhere super-trendy, think about Avondale or Old Irving Park- convenient to the Blue line, so easy to get downtown. Reasonably priced, but also full of lots of young families, and not a lot to do. (But it’s relatively easy to get out of the neighborhood for adventures elsewhere.

      Definitely agree on Lincoln park being pricey/yuppy/etc (but gorgeous). Wicker Park strikes me as aggressively cool, for lack of better way to put it. I don’t love it, but it might work for someone else. Echoing Logan Square + Ukrainian Village.

  12. Sydney Bristow

    Huge thank you to the Anonymous poster on the Coffee Break thread who said they had success getting Amazon to stop using the Post Office for their Prime deliveries! I was able to find a “contact us” button and sent them an email this morning and already got a response. They’ve put a note in my account to prioritize any other shipping company besides USPS. Fingers crossed that it actually works!

  13. Ideal Body

    I asked my boyfriend what his “ideal body type” was, and he only partially described me. I know there is more to relationships, but we’ve been..less physical than I would like recently, and I can’t help but think that this is an issue. For reference, he said he likes girls with smaller busts, and mine is quite large. He also like girls that have athletic legs/rears, and I sort of have that (I workout a lot, and I’m always working to improve in that area), but I can’t change my bust without surgery.

    I feel pretty terrible about it, and I don’t know how to talk to him about it without being unreasonable, since I was the one that asked in the first place. I have pretty awful body image, and things like this are hard for me to not take personally

      • TBK

        Agreed. My husband’s type is an Athleta model but with big b@@bs. At my fittest, I’m still a squishy pear with a size B chest. But hey my ideal body type is 6’3″ lean and muscled. My husband is…not. That doesn’t mean that I don’t look over at him frequently and think “damn, I got myself a good-looking man!” And he tells me all the time how beautiful I am. So stop asking silly questions if you don’t want silly answers.

      • Anonymous

        +1 Also remember that guys have an “ideal” but it does not mean that is what they will go for in real life. He might know a woman with that body type but maybe her personality is not what he is looking for. If you would like to be more physical then bring it up with him. Have a discussion about it. Your bodies will both change over time i.e. if you are with him over a long period of time. But you should still be able to maintain your closeness and intimacy. If someone chooses to withhold affection based on how your body is–and also does not communicate it to you– then that’s a problem. Also work on cultivating a healthier body image. That’s my .02 cents.

    • NYNY

      This is a you problem, not a him problem. If you have body image issues – and really, who doesn’t? – why would you ask your bf something like that? You created this crisis.

      The constructive thing to do now is think about what you were looking for. Did you need him to say you were attractive? Did you want to have a discussion about your waning s*x life? Maybe you want out of the relationship, and you were looking for a reason?

      I don’t mean to be harsh, but you don’t get to be hurt here.

      • nutella

        Precisely. If you have body image issues, don’t ask questions like this. Look to see what you were really trying to ask. (Also, as posted below, perhaps important to remember that he may not be the ideal body either but that’s such a small part of a partner.)

    • mascot

      Get out of your own head here. I’m going to assume that you have a similar body type as you did when you first met/had a higher level of intimacy. So it’s also a reasonable assumption that something else is the trigger. Could be the natural progression of a relationship, could be some stressors in your lives, or something else entirely. Sometime when both of you are relaxed, perhaps talk about both parties’ needs.

      Also, is he your ideal body type in every way? I am guessing there are things that you might find more attractive in the hypothetical man, but you are happy with how he is despite that.

    • platinomad

      Hey-

      This is one of those things that Captain Awkward and others would say, don’t ask a question you do’nt really want to know the answer to. But also, maybe be honest with yourself. Does your boyfriend have the most perfect body to you? I bet the answer is no, but he is still super attractive to you because of various other things that brought you together and have been built on during your time together.

      I think what you need to talk to your boyfriend about is your intimacy, not his ideal body type. It seems like the real reason this bothers you is that you think you found the source of a larger issue, which probably isn’t even the case. Be honest that you would like more intimate time, and talk about how that. The body type conversation is one of those conversations a couple probably doesnt need to have unless they are discussing what type of a third they would like to bring in ;)

      I know this sucks. Good Luck.

    • Maddie Ross

      For future reference, I think this kind of question falls into the category of things that you shouldn’t ask if you don’t think you’ll like or be able to handle the answer. Sure, we should all hope our significant others should be smart/considerate enough to answer in a flattering way to you, but apparently he answered honestly. Which frankly also has a lot of value. Besides, I’m sure that there are things about him that aren’t your “ideal.” Few of us are with the absolute epitome of who we imagine/fantasize about. But it’s hardly a deal breaker.

      • roses

        Yup. My ideal body type for a guy is Chris Pine. My husband looks nothing like that whatsoever. But I still am incredibly attracted to him for other reasons. Your bf wouldn’t be with you if your body was a dealbreaker for him.

    • Batgirl

      I sympathize because you were clearly looking for reassurance, but I don’t think you should have asked him this question (because there’s clearly only one ‘right’ answer and you probably wouldn’t have believed him even if he gave that answer) and I can’t believe he answered it honestly! My guess is that he answered it honestly because he realizes that those “ideals” are silly and kind of “out the window” when you meet someone you are really into who doesn’t conform to them.

    • Baconpancakes

      First, is he 100% your “ideal” body type? Probably not. My “ideal” male body type is Chris Pratt. My SO is 5’7″ and slight, but that doesn’t stop me from thinking he’s damn sexy and wanting to jump him all the time, and loving his body because it’s his. I wasn’t super into legs, but he has really fine calves, and I’ve discovered a new appreciation for the male leg since starting to date him.

      Second, why on earth would you ask that??? I don’t even know where to start with this. A: you were looking for reasons to feel bad about yourself because of your poor body image, and hey, if you ask, you will receive. You do not need to ever go looking for reasons to feel bad about yourself. Media, societal expectations, and the changing room will provide plenty of reasons without you even trying. You should go looking for reasons to feel GOOD about yourself, like, “Hey, I work out all the time and my body is super healthy! My bust is luscious and sexy!” B: You feel resentful/neglected/disconnected because you’re not getting it as often as you want, so you were trying to direct attention at the issue by pointing out your body. That is a completely separate issue. My last boyfriend did have a kinda of Chris Pratt body (before Guardians of the Galaxy), and while I did like that he was tall and manly, we were not physical nearly as much as I wanted. He just wasn’t into it, and our relationship was just not really working -that’s the cause of the lack of physicality. You need to separate the lack of physicality from what your body looks like. If your boyfriend is into you, he’s into the whole package.

      If I may quote the immutable Bridget Jones:

      Bridget Jones: Because I don’t want you to see any of my wobbly bits.
      Mark Darcy: Well now that’s a bit pointless, isn’t it? As I happen to have a very high regard for your wobbly bits. In all circumstances.

      And finally, it’s possible that your lower physicality is completely unrelated to your relationship as well. Maybe your boyfriend is under pressure at work, maybe he’s having trouble with friends or family, maybe he’s tired or working out less. And I know it’s against everything we’re told, but some dudes just aren’t really all that into sex! (Note: sexual compatibility is important. If one partner’s idea of the right amount is 1x week, and the other partner’s idea of the right amount is 1x day, there’s going to be an issue.)

      But mostly, you need to take the focus off your “flaws.” There is nothing wrong with you. You are beautiful, individual, and deserve to be lusted after, loved, and appreciated.

      • TXLawyer

        This was my first thought- If you asked me to describe the *ideal* body type I’m attracted to, I would not describe my husband’s body type. But I absolutely find my husband sexy, physically and otherwise.

        • Anon

          And, frankly, if you asked me to describe the *ideal* female body type, I wouldn’t describe my own. But I still think I’m attractive :)

          • TXLawyer

            So true! Look, Chrissy Teigen is my ideal female body type (and overall girl crush), and no one is going to mistake our silhouettes, but I definitely look in the mirror and think “Lookin’ good, lady!”

    • kc

      If you’ve been less physical than you like lately, you ask “Hey, I’ve noticed this, what’s going on? Is there something we need to talk about?” OR “here’s my ideal number of times a week we do x,y,z and that hasn’t been happening lately. What is your ideal number of times? how can we make that work?”. Chances are, it’s really really not about your body.

    • Anon

      I am about to project a great deal onto your question, but you sound so much like 23 year old me my heart aches.

      The right man will always make you feel important and valued. The wrong man will make you feel insecure – whether he does it actively or whether your insecurities come out from a lack of support, it’s a sign that something’s not right.

      We all have blessings in this life, and my butt and legs aren’t mine. My flat butt’s dimpled with cellulite, and I can’t wear trousers because if I so much as LOOK at a cookie, my thighs expand, so it’s skirts only for me. So instead, I cherish my small waist and arm myself with a drawerful of Spanx :)

      After college, I dated a man who preferred a different body type than mine – the athletic, petite powerhouse type with great legs and a great butt. He wasn’t that attracted to me and I was keenly aware of it. I felt miserable. This was compounded a million times when my weight yo-yo’d as I went through some things. But I wanted, needed him to love me and like me. And he did…didn’t he? (Spoiler alert: he didn’t.)

      Here’s the thing: the right person will ALWAYS lift you up. Yes, you have body image issues. Show me a woman who doesn’t! But the right man will tell you you’re beautiful and encourage you and support you. The wrong man (note that I’m not saying a bad man) will be sparing with the compliments and maybe a little distant.

      Being with someone who’s not right for you is a million times harder emotionally than being single, trust me on this. The nagging doubts and insecurities vanish when you’re by yourself and don’t feel inadequate every day. Surround yourself with good friends who support you. With time, your insecurities will melt away and you’ll learn to love yourself. With that confidence, you can dress your shape and say, “You know, if I’m not your type, then you’re not really mine. Square peg, round hole, and all that. Take care.”

      • Senior Attorney

        So much this! Especially the last paragraph. It’s a whole lot easier to find that right person when you are already feeling good about yourself.

      • Ano

        Not sure I agree with this: The wrong man will make you feel insecure.

        The way I see it, the wrong man may try to make you feel insecure or do things that may make you feel insecure. You keep him around or chose to move on.

        Here, I don’t sense that the BF is doing that (just stating an honest preference to a question posted to him). I think the OP has borrowed some trouble re existing body image issues. She is making herself feel bad and this is a not-the-BF issue.

        Signed,
        someone who had a BF ask her to change her hair color and then went looking for a new BF

        • CountC

          I agree. The only one that can make you feel insecure is you. If you are secure with who you are and what you look like, no dip$hit can change that with a comment. Sure words sting, and it might for a second if someone told you that you looked like crap, but in the end you would know that it’s complete BS and you would be able to move on and not really think about it.

    • Anonymous

      Jesus christ why would you ever ask anyone, let alone your boyfriend, this question? We all have body image issues to some extent. You need to work through that on your own.

    • Anonymous

      “Hey, when I asked about your type, what I really meant was I want to be having more sex than we are now. Can we talk about that instead?”

    • CountC

      Oh man. I agree with a lot of the other commenters in that you created this new problem for yourself. However, as you can tell, almost all of us have some body image issues, even if we love how we look. For a long time, I had a terrible perception of what I looked like, had no confidence, and had a terrible relationship with my body and food. I had to work through that on my own in therapy. No amount of anyone telling me how good I looked got it done because I didn’t believe it. You absolutely need to figure out best to sort the body issue thing out on your own, be it in therapy or whatever.

      And the answer to your question about how to talk to your boyfriend about the difference in his ideal body type and yours is you don’t. It doesn’t matter what his ideal body type is if he loves you, all of you. You asked him a question and you got an honest answer. As has already been said, you need to address the real issue which is that you are not satisfied with the current physicality in your relationship and get to the bottom of that. There have been other very good suggestions on that topic, so I am not going to provide any more.

  14. Istanbul hotel recs - Kadikoy

    Looking for recommendations for mid-range hotels in Kadikoy on the Anatolian side. We’d prefer a boutique hotel or bed and breakfast. Thanks in advance!

    • Anon

      No recommendations as I stayed in cheaper hotels, but is this your first time in Istanbul? If so,I really would stay in Sultanahmet. It is just so much more convenient to all the things that most tourists focus on, as the ferries do take a while to load/unload/etc. If you have been to Istanbul before though, that’s exactly where I would be.

    • DC Wonkette

      If you’re up for Anon’s rec to stay on the other side, we loved dersaadet hotel. Boutique-y with a rooftop breakfast/drinks spot and close to everything. Stayed there twice and had a great experience.

  15. TXLawyer

    Does anyone have experience with BetaBrand? They make business style clothing in an active wear manner (ie, yoga pants that look like dress pants, skorts, etc). Their clothes look really professional on their website and the functionality seems great, but I’m wondering if it really delivers? TIA!

  16. ace

    I am not in a good place with my job right now and looking to move (and trying to, though that’s best left for a different post). My new job will probably involve a pretty significant pay cut as ideally it’s a move from BigLaw to in-house. Husband does something similar to what I do at a smaller firm, where he is paid considerably less, but has many of the same frustrations I do.
    Lately, when I’ve expressed frustration with my job, he’s responded with sentiments like, “I know, I really hate my job too!” I don’t think he gets that this only increases my stress level, as it makes me feel like my move is limiting his ability to find a job he likes. As context, I’ve always been breadwinner and will probably continue to be breadwinner after my move. I don’t mean to undervalue his opinions or suggest that he has to just live with a frustrating job.
    Is there a way that I can tell him to ix-nay on the job hating comments for now? Am I a jerk for even thinking that?

    • Killer Kitten Heels

      First of all, maybe cut him a little bit of a break here – it sounds like he’s trying to commiserate with you, which is a good impulse, not a bad one. Why not just tell him his attempts at commiseration are stressing you out, and ask him to dial it back?

      With that said, it sounds like you’re BOTH unhappy at work, so I think, instead of this sort of vague complaining-at-each-other thing that you seem to be doing right now, you need to sit down and map out a real plan for getting each of you to somewhere better in a reasonable amount of time. This would also be a good time to talk about whether/to what extent your employment status is actually impacting him, and vice-versa.

      I’m also not really following your logic on how your job is affecting his – I could understand if it was the other way around (say, you wanted to pursue low-pay public interest work and he was feeling pressure to step up and be the breadwinner), but since you already are the breadwinner and don’t seem to want to exit that role, I feel like if anything, that increases his job prospects, not decreases them, since he’s not responsible financially for the bulk of your expenses.

      Regardless, I think the answer here is to talk to your husband explicitly about both of your careers, where you want to go, how it will affect your finances as a family, etc.

    • Senior Attorney

      I don’t know that you’re a jerk, but I don’t think there’s any acceptable way for you to declare your home an “I’m the only one who gets to complain about my job” zone.

      I think you either have to complain to somebody else, or accept that it’s going to be a two-way street.

      ETA: And also what Killer Kitten Heels said about having an actual conversation about the whole both-your-jobs situation!

    • CountC

      Yes, there is. “Hey honey, I just need to vent about my job for a minute. When I do, I don’t need you to fix it – I just need you to listen. I understand that your job is equally frustrating and I know you are sympathetic, but when you mention that while I am venting, it makes me feel a little more stressed out.” Now that said, he needs to be able to vent to you as well when he wants to. So perhaps you need to talk more about your desire to change jobs and how he feels about it/what it means for you as a couple and make sure you are on the same page.

    • Brunette Elle Woods

      Reading this I think, wow he does a similar job, at a smaller firm, has the same frustrations, but he’s paid less! That sucks for him!!! Cut him some slack! Maybe you can both change jobs so that you’re both happier. Less money would mean a change in lifestyle, but worth it if it means less misery.

  17. EB0220

    I should know the answer to this, but I don’t. What’s the etiquette for passing along resumes? I work for a large company. My sister’s boyfriend is applying to a position here. It’s in a totally different division (although I guess technically reporting to the same executive) and I don’t know the hiring manager (or anyone in his structure). Should/can I do anything here? My instinct is not to do anything but maybe I’m being too conservative. Thoughts?

    • Parfait

      Can you vouch for his skills/fit/etc? Anyone you recommend reflects on you.

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