ByKat Hours Updated
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Coffee Break: Studded Pumps

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Maiyet Studded PumpsThere are some serious sales at the Barneys' Warehouse sale online — they are now offering an EXTRA 70% off all clearance. These are final sale prices, alas, but there are some crazy deals to be had, particularly among the shoes. (Ladies who wear size XS in clothes, you're going to make out like bandits.)  I like these Maiyet studded 4″ pumps, which push the boundaries a bit for work but, I think, would still work on a casual day. They were $995, but then marked to $359 — so with the additional 70% off they come down to $107.70. Nice. (Also fun: this skirt.) Maiyet Studded Pumps P.S. Kate Spade Saturday is apparently shutting down — this doesn't seem to be reflected in sale prices on the website yet, but you may want to start perusing the selection of the reader recommended A satchels. (L-all)

Sales of note for 12.2.24 (Happy Cyber Monday!! See our full sale listing here!)

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

125 Comments

  2. In case anyone needs enabling – I just went on the Boden site and saw their Maida Vale bag. It’s absolutely gorgeous. I would link but as most of you are in the US it’ll be easier for you to just go via a search engine/ the US homepage.

    1. Do you work for them or something? You constantly mention Boden in response to irrelevant questions (or nothing at all in this case)

      1. I wish. I just think their things are lovely and it’s pretty much the only brand that’s discussed here that I have access to (as in, I could recommend UK/ European high-street brands and they’d be totally useless to most readers – so I only recommend things that I know North American readers can actually access). It wasn’t me who recommended their printed tops earlier today, and I think the last time I mentioned them was in response to someone who wanted recommendations for lightweight layering t-shirts, and I have experience of the brand’s lightweight layering t-shirts being excellent.

        1. You don’t have to justify mentioning a brand.
          I am in Morocco and Zara is cheap because we’re a handful of miles south of Spain so Zara, Massimo Dutti etc. are the only things I could recommend to the hive since I don’t have access to other brands.
          The same that when we talk skincare, I have access to French pharmacy for cheap when people overseas think it’s a luxury.

      2. How about if we’re going to comment about what other commenters do “all the time” we don’t do it as “anon”.

  3. Any users of a hair gloss? Apparently this is the year that grays are starting for me, and while I’ve done highlighting in the past, right now that’s a less attractive option (no time, mostly, plus it’s pricey for someone who hates roots as much as I do). A co-worker mentioned that she uses a gloss just to cover grays and her hair looks great. I also like that it seems like something you could do at home on your own schedule. Any advice? Brands you like? TIA!

    2. Yes, I used it for a little while. My hair is brown. It really doesn’t work very well, but I suspect it depends on your hair color/contrasting grey etc…. But I used it in conjuction with semi-permanent coloring PLUS highlights, to get me a little more time before redoing the roots. But I think I was fooling myself that it helped.

      My Stylist recommended Frieda brand.

      I finally gave up. I am now letting my hair go to its natural mix of colors. I will not go back to dying + highlights every 4 weeks, because it is just crazy and too expensive for me. It definitely ages me though. I have really mixed feelings about it.

    3. I am a brunette with quite a bit of gray hair that I cover with henna. Gray hairs take on reddish-bronze color and look like highlights. So far it works very well for me, but as I get more gray hair, it may change.
      This certainly is a winner in terms of cost and doing it on your own schedule.
      I buy henna in Indian or Middle Eastern shops. Tried Lush, but did not like it: the bricks were very hard to break down, and I never saw the promised “rich chestnut” hues.

  4. I have been using hunter rainboots but I hate them because they are stiff and uncomfortable and hard to take off and I think I’m too old for colorful boots this year. I have Sorels for my snow boots, but it often rains here when it’s not snow-cold. What do y’all have for rain-foot-wear?

    1. Aetrex Berries Bungee Boots for the same reasons you gave–comfortable, and I’m over colorful.

    6. I love my Ecco Abelone Short Boots. They are flexible and comfortable, and they are made out of waterproof Gore-Tex. I bought mine from amazon – they occasionally have discount codes for certain clothing items and shoes.

    1. The thing about buying shoes with metal on them is that I then have to think about matching the rest of my metals to the shoes, which I hadn’t realized until I bought a pair of flats with gold buckles.

      If that works for you – I like the studs.

      2. Mixed metals is no longer a fashion don’t, especially so far from the rest of your jewelry. I wouldn’t worry about matching the metal on my shoes at all.

        I also think those shoes are really cute!

          1. I think you can do it on purpose, but when I’m wearing silver earrings, silver necklace, silver rings, and randomly wearing shoes with gold buckles It just feels (and is) accidental.

    3. I have these! And I LOVE LOVE LOVE them! The metal is actually very ambiguous – it’s like a dark silver/pewter/but passes with gold metals.

      I love my AGL flats so when these came out, I was excited. I can only wear a 1.5″ heel – these are perfect for me. They are very comfortable although not as comfortable as the flats or as their less-cute Snaffle pump, which I also own. The pointy toe is generous (if you notice, the point comes in fairly close to the tip, so you still have quite a bit of toe room), but it’s still a pointy toe at the end of a heel. That said, I stand and teach for 2 hours at a time and while I’m happy to take them home at the end of a long day, I am not ever hurting like I would be in any other kind of heel.

      I hope this helps. I love these shoes…they are the closest I will ever get to high fashion because of my extreme flat feet and tendency to develop plantar fasciitis, and they make me very happy in my closet and on my feet.

  6. An ouch moment – when you realize you are no longer part of the young, cool, non-manager crowd. The price of responsibility and career advancement, I guess.

    2. I think I’m probably one more promotion away from really being out of this, but on my last project I was really close with one of my direct reports and he used to forward me funny emails from this thread of the young cool kids. It always hit me with a twang of, BUT I SHOULD BE ON THIS THREAD! They even were secretively having breakfast once a week (I USED TO BE AT SUCH BREAKFASTS!). Haha, but I love where my career is going but it always is a little bittersweet to think back to the more care free, fun days (even if they didn’t feel that way at the time).

    3. Haha! This reminds me of moments where I realize I’m never going to wear an article of clothing again because it is “too young” and just doesn’t fit my lifestyle anymore (mini bodycon dresses, i’m looking at you!)

      I have the opposite problem at work: I’m trying to get a promotion, and thus, in the meantime, am distancing myself from the young, cool, non-manager crowd and trying to be associated with my more seasoned, more responsible (in perception) colleagues who are supervisors. I want to go to happy hour and breakfast with them!

  7. If you won a bet with a friend, and the agreed upon “prize” was something of your choice in the $300 price range, what would you choose?

    4. I’d ask your friend to take you out for a fancypants dinner where the estimated tab for two will be ~$300.

      2. Agreed. Though a spa day or day at an amusement park or some other dual activity would also be good. Or maybe a cooking class or wine tasting event together?

    7. Thanks for the replies everyone! The spa day sounds like a great idea! I haven’t won (yet), but here’s hoping for Sunday. Go Seahawks!

      And in case you’re wondering, his prize of choosing is a really big, expensive bottle of vodka.

  8. Love the shoes but have been burned too many times by final sale items. Piperlime will also be shutting down soon so I’d expect great sales coming up.

    2. 24. (And well before I entered any sort of stressful job/career.) I’m about 50% silvery gray and stopped coloring a few years ago, mainly because coloring could not keep up w/ the amount of gray.

    3. First gray hair around age 40 (give or take a year or two). I’m now late forties and still only about 2-5% gray (but increasing). It’s largely genetic – my dad and my aunt went gray late.

    7. I’m 34 and I only have one gray hair (knock on wood), which I pull out whenever it’s long enough to bother me.

    8. I’m turning 35 in a few weeks and have only started noticing grey hairs in the past year. They’re still at the “I could count them if I wanted to” rather than the % of hair level. They aren’t super noticeable (curly light brown hair).

    11. At 42, I’ve never spotted a single gray hair on my head. But I started getting white hair around 33.

    12. Started getting single gray hairs at 26. My mom went gray in her late 20s so I imagine it’s going to just keep getting worse. I’ve found several more in the last few months.

    13. Found the first one at 16, just like my mom. I only started trying to cover them when I hit 28.

    14. I found my first one at 25 (on my birthday!). I have several now that I’m almost 30. I feel like within a year or two I will start coloring my hair to cover them up.

    15. 31, but it’s still in the single digits and I think I’m the only one who notices them.

    16. I noticed my first gray hair today. :( It was sticking up oddly away from my other hair, like it knew it didn’t want to be there. I plucked it out. I’m turning 35 in a few months.

    18. 32 – I just found my first gray (white really) – a rebellious little trio all apparently growing from the same follicle.

    19. At 23 I started seeing grays. Now at 27 I’d say I’m about 2-4% gray, all at the crown of my head.

    20. I saw like 3-4 gray hairs on my head when I was 18. I’m 27 now and don’t have any more, so I’m hopeful that this trend won’t continue until I’m significantly older.

    21. I have *zero* gray, white or silver hairs and I’ll be 54 on Monday. My dad only went gray in his late 70s so I assume I’ll be the same.

    22. 24. My baby brother is 39 and he’s been fully gray for over 10 years. On the bright side, people think I’m the youngest of 3, when I’m actually the oldest…

    23. Never. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. I’m a natural(ahem) blonde and plan to stay so forever.

    24. I had two white hairs in law school, but they went away. Don’t have anything but brown at the moment (early-30s). If my dad (and grandfather) are any indication, I’ll be in my late 50s, early 60s before they start showing up in earnest.

  10. question about YNAB- is the software for two people? LIke could my H and I both input our expenses? And does the software teach you the rules? I looked over the rules briefly and they made sense but didnt seem like a revelation- but we have always been kind of bad about credit cards and H doesnt have a job right now- we need to do a major budget overhaul and fast.

    2. Yes, two people can use it–you sync to the main file through Dropbox. My husband and I each have it on our computers/phones/iPads. I wouldn’t say that the software itself teaches you the rules, but if you do some basic reading on their site re: getting started, the software is relatively intuitive.

      FWIW, we’ve been using YNAB for 3 or 4 years now and love it–by far the best budgeting software/app that we have used (we’ve also tried Quicken and Mint).

      1. +1 – when you get the software, you have access to free “how to use” classes through the website. I highly recommend listening in, even if you think you mostly have the software figured out. There’s a big forum at the website for YNABers too, if you ever have questions and want to ask, or see if any has already asked your question.

    3. The most useful thing I learned in YNAB, especially if you are really tight on cash, is to make a list of what you’ll need to pay for between this paycheck and the next one. Then you can work on the margins. That way you don’t run out of money and have a bill due the day before you get paid next.

  11. Do y’all tip a cable repair guy? How much? (I’m in nyc if it’s relevant)

    2. I did, and the guy gave me his personal number to call if anything breaks. I think it is unexpected though.

    5. Yay! I love these pump’s, but the stud’s make me seem a little to bikeish (as in motorcycle momma), and I don’t need those type’s NUZZELEING around me sniffing for attention. I had my fill of that in DC, and Kat know’s about them, I’ll bet! FOOEY!

      As far as the OP, I do NOT tip the cabel guy, b/c they get paid to do their job. I do offer them a soft drink or coffee and cake, and the 2x I did, they took me up on it and sat down to eat and chat. Most peeople do NOT treat the cabel guy as a profesional, but guess what? They know how to connect the DVR to the TV to the DVD and the Sound Bar and the music system and make it work. I now have FIOS, b/c dad say’s FIBER OPTIC’s are better then METAL CABEL and Dad know’s b/c he worked overseas before there was even fiber optic’s.

      He said that the Russian’s do NOT even have fiber optic’s yet, so they are trying to copy FIOS. I do NOT think it is a secret, but dad does NOT trust the cabel box rooter that come with FIOS b/c they come from China or somewhere over there, and he got me a special wireless rooter that is made in the USA. He say’s that there is something in the chips that we should be concerned about. I have NO IDEA what that mean’s but he is MENSA eligbel, so he must know.

      Rosa said she will stop in and stay over Saturday nite while Ed watches the Kids. I think Ed went to a strip club with the guy’s and may have done something, so Rosa is haveing him tested for STD’s, and is not doeing anything with his winkie until after she gets the word from the MD. FOOEY on men who go after cheep women with their winkie’s who they do not know and then want their wives and girlfreind’s to treat their winkie’s like nothing is goeing on! DOUBEL FOOEY!

      I would never marry a guy who visit’s strip club’s to see other women and worse to take his pant’s down in front of other drunk’s so that women can do thing’s with them. That is horribel, and if Ed did that, he should be put on doubel probation, with no sex for a month after he is proven clean and swear’s that it will never hapen again. Why he would even do that when he has Rosa to come home to is beyond my comperhension. She is gorgeous and smart and has borne him 3 children! Not like some woman who is just in it for the money like those women in the strip club’s! FOOEY!

    6. No. But I do offer them water bottle/a coke when they come in. They don’t usually take it, but the gesture is appreciated.

  12. What constitutes normal “wear and tear”? I’m in Mass. for what it’s worth. Our apartment is spotless after 4+ years and I know my landlord is going to try to hold onto our $1600 security deposit.

    We have a wall-mounted TV (it was her recommendation that we mounted it, FWIW – though probably not much) and as a result we have a quarter-to-half-dollar sized hole in the wall behind it. The wall is not a structural wall; simple drywall, too. We also have a wall-mounted coat rack – two nickel sized holes in the wall there. I imagine that’s not normal “wear and tear” in her eyes…

    Could I get a reasonableness check here? Should I expect my security deposit back/is it unreasonable for her to withhold it for these holes in the walls? If she holds back part of it, just a $100? $200? Her “repair guy” is her brother – labor isn’t necessarily a huge expense for her.

    ETA: We’ll definitely attempt to repair it ourselves, but knowing her the repair won’t be to her standard and she’ll redo it (rumors from past tenants).

    1. You should be entitled to the whole thing back, IMO. My daughter’s security deposit was dinged for a couple of tickets from the municipality for trash cans out when they shouldn’t be… which I thought was reasonable. In all other places I lived, I always got my whole deposit back.

      Your landlady will probably have to paint for a new tenant anyway, so throwing some spackles on a couple of holes should cost about $2.

      1. I didn’t get that the holes are as big as a half dollar – still I agree that they can easily be filled. You can get a drywall patch kit at Home Depot. That plus a little sandpaper ought to fill the holes.

        1. Half dollar is an overstatement (haven’t seen one in a while I guess..) but there are some meaty bolts back there holding the thing up. But, yea, I’m going to attempt to spackle. Thanks for input so far, everyone. Wanted to make sure I wasn’t totally off base.

    2. I would spackle them (or whatever you call the stuff you get at the hardware store…).

      If you were told it was ok to hang items like your TV, I agree this would be normal wear and tear. But I would still try to touch it up first, so all she would need to do is repaint. I have found that re-painting between tenants varies dramatically from city to city, so they may or may not ding you for that. They shouldn’t, in my experience.

      Did you take pictures when you first moved in?

      1. It was a brand new renovation, so nothing really to take pictures of/prove; the place was sparkling. So, any wear and tear is going to stand out. She’s a nickle and dimer and I’m trying to prepare myself for battle.

      2. I wouldn’t think that holes that size would be normal wear and tear. Nail holes for hanging a painting, yes. But nickel or quarter sized holes in the wall, in my opinion, go beyond normal wear and tear.

        There are things you can do to fill in the holes themselves. I would ask your hardware store what they recommend.

    3. Massachusetts landlord tenant laws are very tenant friendly and in most cases you should get your deposit back within 30 days. There are some very helpful guides online and I suggest consulting them. Sometimes just signaling that you’re familiar with what the law requires is enough to get them to comply in a timely manner.

      As for your question, obviously try to fix it, but if they do keep the deposit for repairs, make sure it is documented. I believe that the law says that if LL refuses to return any part of the security deposit because of repairs, they have to submit a sworn, itemized list of the damage and cost to repair each, along with evidence like receipts.

    4. Definitely not normal wear and tear, imo. Most of my LLs were pretty strict about holes in the wall; leaving them unpatched was like putting a big KICK ME sign on your unit. If you’re still in the unit, try to fix the holes yourself. I’ll also second the advice above to ask for a detailed list of where your money is going if LL insists on keeping part of your security deposit.

    5. Was going to say the same thing as Anon @ 4:26 about the itemized list. If she doesn’t provide one and tries with withhold money, I think a written demand is within bounds.

      W/r/t wear and tear, I’ve had similar sized holes for wall mounted items and spackled and never had a landlord call me on it, even in an apartment building. I think there’s definitely a subjective element of whether you made an effort to minimize the “damage” but that’s just my two cents.

    6. My advice is based on CA law, which is tenant friendly, but it sounds like Mass. is similar in its tenant-friendliness. Most holes in the wall from hanging things should be reasonable wear and tear but either way you’re landlord owes you your deposit minus *reasonable* cost (estimated or actual) for repairs, which must be documented with receipts in the case of actual. I took a landlord to small claims and won over this, for what it’s worth (like I said, in CA).

    7. It’s late, but I thought I’d chime in since I’m a landlord. We expect holes in the wall from hanging photos and things like that, but we probably wouldn’t consider the holes you’re talking about normal wear and tear. That said, we expect to paint between tenants, especially tenants who stay 3-5 years, so if you spackled yourself, we wouldn’t deduct for that. But we wouldn’t withhold a tenant’s entire deposit — just what it cost to make the repair. FWIW, the only time we’ve withheld a deposit, it was $100 to have massive amounts of cat hair cleaned (we take an extra pet deposit as well). I live in a landlord-friendly state, but we still try to be reasonable — we view security deposits as the tenant’s money, we maintain them in a separate bank account, and we charge enough rent to cover normal wear and tear.

  13. Some of the recent comments on here have me wondering if I’m dressing younger than my age. I’m 34, I live in Chicago, and I wear Sorels (similar to Joan of Arctic, but a newer style) when it snows and knockoff Hunter rain boots in black when it rains. Am I too old to wear these styles?

    1. A classic black rain boot is ageless, so you’re fine there. Something about the combination of fur and lacing on the Sorels reads a little young/casual to me. I don’t think they’re an issue in casual situations, but I wouldn’t wear them to work.

    4. I’m 35, in Chicago, and rock my Joan of Arctics all winter long (even to work). They’re one of my all time favorite purchases and in no way do I feel they’re age inappropriate.

      1. They’re amazing, right? I feel invincible when I wear my Sorels. I had random winter boots before that that weren’t totally waterproof, and it’s incredible what a good snow boot does for your entire outlook on winter!

    5. I think Chicago (and the upper Midwest) have different rules for winter fashion. I’m more likely to notice someone who’s clearly picked fashion over warmth and the ability to walk on ice/through snow. I think Sorels are totally appropriate.

      1. +1. I’m the person who wrote in earlier this week asking about snow boots and mentioned that I wanted something more professional than the Sorel Joan of Artic boots… but that’s because I live in NYC, where it’s rarely super cold, and work at a pretty formal law firm. It only looks unprofessional because you don’t *need* something that intense when there’s only an inch of snow on the ground and it’s 30 degrees out. Totally different story in sub-zero Midwest temps. Looking like you picked fashion over warmth is not professional, either. If I moved to Chicago I would buy/wear those boots in a heartbeat.

  14. Found out last night that a dear friend’s mom is on her deathbed. Less than a month between an initial diagnosis and the end. We’re in our late twenties, and it’s the first parent of a close friend of mine to pass away. I’m organizing all our mutual friends to send her cards/flowers/care packages, but would love suggestions for other ways to be supportive from across the country.

    On a related note, any workplace strategies for dealing with tough emotional situations while under the influence of hormones (i’m 7 mos PG) would be most appreciated.

    1. I lost a parent while I was in college. I think the best thing you can do is to continue to check in with your friend in the many months after her mother passes. People are generally great about contacting loved ones to express condolences, but naturally, people move on as time passes and get on with their lives. My father’s death sunk in truly about 6 months after he died, largely because I had to take care of my mother as she fell completely apart emotionally for the months after his death. There’s a lot going on in connection with funeral planning, organizing and packing up belongings in the weeks and sometimes months after a loss. When it’s all finally over and done and settled, there is a really eerie calm and quiet. THAT was when I needed my friends. Just to be there. Checking in on me. If I were your friend, even the occasional text with a baby picture in a few months time and a note that you love her and are thinking of her, would be really comforting to me.

      1. +1 to this. I also lost a parent. Many people are there at the beginning and then sort of move on, but you are still needed. Holidays, birthdays, graduations/life events, the first anniversary of the death (mark it in your calendar so you remember to be ‘there’ next year), anything to cheer the person up and let her know you are thinking of her. In that calm/quiet it can be so hard because the absence is so noticeable. I’m sorry for your friend.

        1. Agreed. I lost my 18 year old brother about 6 months ago. Tons of people are very supportive and there at the beginning, bu then they all move past it and you are still struggling with it for months and years. Yesterday was his birthday, and it was extremely hard on all of us. All our best friends came out to the little get together we had and that was a huge help. Even if you can’t physically be there, just checking in and remembering those type of events means a lot.

          I have been going through the entire thing pregnant (I’m overdue by a few days now. ugh). Again, at first everyone is really sympathetic, but then they pretty much forget about it. I have just tried my best to suck it up and not think about it while at work, and will switch my focus on how excited I am for the baby. I will go into a bathroom stall or wait until the drive home if I really need to cry.

          1. Hi Burgher. Super late reply, but I lost my little brother too -9 days before I gave birth. I am very sorry you are going through this. I suffered from terrible PPD after the birth of my first child. I hope your support system checks in with you on a regular basis to help you monitor your mental health.

            I used to duck into the bathroom to cry too. I know there is nothing I can do to help you with your pain, but please know I am thinking of you.

    2. I’m so sorry. How awful. I’ve never dealt with this situation so I hope some of these suggestions are helpful.

      -I would try to attend the wake or funeral, if you are allowed to travel and can also afford it.
      -I would try to text or send emails on a regular basis (although don’t bombard her), both checking in, but also about normal things, the occasional cute animal video, etc. Do not expect any meaningful response, but I would imagine she would want some normalcy in her life.
      -If you can, try to write out some thoughts of the more meaningful moments you’ve shared with her/her mom (like, if she got married and how happy/proud her mom was, or a funny story she shared about her mom that still cracks you up).

    3. My roommate’s mom died when we were in college, and she really liked reading The Year of Magical Thinking and Grief, Observed.

    4. I second the advice about checking in more often afterwards. My mother in law passed away very suddenly within the first year of our marriage. It was really hard on my husband, and his family. What meant the most were friends who kept checking in and giving me space to grieve and talk about taking care of my husband.

  15. Am on the hunt for some office-appropriate black lace-up ankle booties. A senior person in my workplace had these with black opaque tights and a black dress and it looked amazing. Any suggestions?

  16. Does anyone have any advice on how to check your salary compared to others in your profession? I am young in my profession, up for a raise and I want to check how I compare to others in my field and level of experience and region. I’ve done some looking around online at those free salary checker websites but I get varying results – like $20k differences. The professional society I belong to for my profession charges $400 to get a salary survey book from 2012. Unless I outright ask my co-workers or friends what they make, I don’t know how to find this information. How do people normally inquire and research salaries?

    1. You can look at websites like Salary.com, Payscale or the Bureau of Labor Statistics. These would provide a rough range for a particular profession which may vary by region or company. Conversations about money can sometimes make people uncomfortable so if broaching the subject with a friend, you are better off enquiring about what salary range you should be in at this stage in your career. Some might give you a hard number i.e. exactly what they make.

    2. If you work in a field that gets called by recruiters ask them what salary range is typical for your field / experience level. They know the industry well and are usually pretty upfront and honest

      1. I was recently talking to a recruiter and one of the first things they brought up was the salary the potential company is looking to hire at. I don’t think I’d ultimately want to take the job there, but it will be very helpful for negotiations at my preferred company.

  17. A quick thank you to the hive reader who recommended the book “Buying In.” It was a very good quick weekend read. Love all the book recommendations, ladies. I’m reading The Son by Philip Meyer now. A hefty book, very well written.

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