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Coffee Break: Lareina Mule

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beige mule with gold horsebit detail across top of shoe

The Nordstrom Half-Yearly Sale is still going on, with lots of great stuff, including these cute mules from Børn.

I know that readers in the past have not liked nude-for-you flats, but I keep seeing personal style bloggers in them, and I think it can be a great look, especially if you have a really minimal, clean wardrobe.

They have lots of sizes left; the shoe was $110 but is now marked to $79; it's available in three other colors as well.

Sales of note for 3/15/25:

  • Nordstrom – Spring sale, up to 50% off
  • Ann Taylor – 40% off everything + free shipping
  • Banana Republic Factory – 40% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Eloquii – 50% off select styles + extra 50% off sale
  • J.Crew – Extra 30% off women's styles + spring break styles on sale
  • J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything + extra 20% off 3 styles + 50% off clearance
  • M.M.LaFleur – Friends and family sale, 20% off with code; use code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 40% off 1 item + 30% off everything else (includes markdowns, already 25% off)

141 Comments

  1. Oh man, caring for someone with dementia is so exhausting. I don’t know how many more times I can keep having the same conversations. The advice is to be patient and to let the individual guide the conversation and not challenge them on their reality, but I might lose it if I have to keep having the exact same 4-6 conversations every day and pretending it’s fresh every time (or having conversations about things that don’t make sense, like ideas she has about how life works that haven’t been updated since the 1960s). It’s absolutely wild how this disease works and what it does to the brain. I wish SO much that we had a cure.

    1. my autistic son is like this, we’ll loop the same conversations over and over and over again and it’s so frustrating. hugs to you.

    2. Dementia is something awful, and I’m so sorry you’re going through that. My brother was great at just going along for the ride with repeated conversations and word salad, but I struggled with it greatly. I will say getting a caretaker in for a few hours made a huge difference, to have a break and to know that my mom was safe while I took care of everything else.

    3. Hugs. I take some comfort in knowing they are in their own reality. Maybe it’s a better world there.

    4. Yes, it’s terrible. The hard thing is that you can have patience day in and day out for five days straight and then feel like you’re going to lose it on the 6th day — and feel terrible at yourself for snapping at someone you love who can’t help what they are doing. It’s just really, really hard to exercise continual patience.

    5. Virtual hugs to you! I get so annoyed after just a few days with my FIL who cycles through the same stories over and over (don’t think it’s dementia, he’s been like that since I met him). What you are doing is legitimately SO hard!

  2. I’m late for my first pedicure of the season — what toenail colors is everyone liking this year?

    1. tropical trip – Essie Watermelon
      just around town with sandals – preferring light neutrals like Mademoiselle for a low-maintenance barefoot kind of look. bonus is if there’s a tiny chip no one can tell!

    3. Honestly I am really liking Butter London Mellow the Yellow Nail Brightening treatment. My toenails were somewhat yellow from wearing red polish on them, and this concealer stuff really works. I like the color too – it’s sort of a pearly white, but not too white. Almost a natural nail color, which I suppose is the idea, but a bit glossy/pearly.

      I’m DIYing it these days & found this easy to apply at home and keep my tootsies looking nice.

    4. I’m really into white and light light pink these days. I like that they go with literally everything.

  3. If you are someone that has made a transition to eat clean or cleaner, how often do you let yourself splurge? I don’t mean a splurge like eating dark chocolate, I mean grabbing a Snickers bar or a soda because you want it, or not turning down a cupcake when you’re dropping your at a birthday party and the other parents offer goodies. Like do you view it as – I eat fruits, vegetables, minimal junk snacks all week long, so what if I have a soda on the weekend? Or do you save it for special occasions like birthdays and vacations? Do you buy a bag of Milanos to devour and once it’s gone, it’s gone?

    DH and I have been making efforts towards better eating for the last two to three months. Didn’t start for any specific reason except for the fact that we’re both South Asian and in our 40s and we are seeing our 50 something cousins and 70 something aunts and uncles having to make huge dietary changes – as the race is genetically prone to high blood sugar and cholesterol. DH and I are doing fine in terms of our health metrics, neither of our drs has said we need to watch the sugars or cholesterol or anything, but we both felt like – why not proactively make changes now while we don’t HAVE TO so that our habits just change. For us it turns out we both were consuming a lot of empty carbs – think having a pile of Goldfish or bag of chips because we’re hungry, grabbing a Snapple or sweet Starbucks coffee, snacking on things like that rather than meals. So we’ve replaced those with things like nuts, nut butters, cheeses – foods with protein without added sugars and are consuming a bit more fruit as snacks or breakfast too.

    And then we go to a family BBQ this weekend, someone offers DH a Snapple which he has loved since college and he goes – ugh 40 grams of sugar, that’s like a days worth of added sugar in a bottle. He was then mocked . . . . We don’t care what his family says as these aren’t responsible people – I mean there are people who have diabetes who regularly drink regular soda, eat fruits like mango which they’ve been told to avoid etc. – so their judgment is meh. Yet it led us to think later, hmm are we just super boring still people now?

    1. I mostly eat “clean” but don’t see the harm in having a junky treat every once in a while if you enjoy it–a soda every couple of weeks, or even a cookie or two every day. But Snapple is just objectively gross and I would never drink it unless I were very thirsty and it was the only beverage available. Yuck.

      1. I was on board until you were rude about his chosen treat. Just because you don’t care for that drink doesn’t mean it’s objectively bad.

      2. +1 – I mostly eat “clean”, but see no problem in splurging. I just went away for a long weekend for memorial day and I definitely ate what I wanted (a burger and fries at lunch, a beer at a baseball game, etc.), however, the idea of spending any calories on a snapple or sweetened beverage makes no sense to me. I’d rather have a water and cookies, or an alcoholic drink.

        1. Again. It doesn’t matter what YOU would spend your “treat budget” on. If the man enjoys his Snapple, then he should have it. Maybe he doesn’t care for cookies and wants the Snapple instead.

    2. If I really want to splurge I do. If I’m on vacation, at a friend reunion weekend, or something else celebratory and special I pay no attention to what I eat or drink.

      In a normal day (work, workout, hang out with a friend, go to bed) I probably eat clean 90% of the time. If I want a treat (particularly if work is annoying), I let myself have it. If I’m busy or stressed and my eating gets out of hand, I’ll purposely plan a reset.

      Where I get stuck is when I don’t feel like a treat but I have social plans that aren’t conducive to eating clean. I try to split the difference (order something veggie heavy, get a vodka soda instead of a beer), but it’s hard to strike the right balance.

      I don’t pay much attention to calories and I don’t pay any attention to sugars or sodium or other stuff. My overall goal is 100-130g of protein, 64 oz of water, and five servings of fruit / vegetables a day. If I hit that, I’m happy. I try to keep calories between 1800-2000 a day; there are just as many days that I have o watch what I’m eating because I’m under as there are days I’m over.

      In an ideal world I’d eat very limited processed or convenience foods, but honestly I’m busy and my priority is hitting my protein and produce goals so if I do that by too many processed foods so be it.

    3. IDK — I feel like it’s just wildly personal to talk about food with value terms or to be Debbie Downer to something someone else wants or likes. “No thanks” is a full sentence. If you want it, accept. All or nothing thinking is why drastic changes often fail (and yet: moderation is hard, so feel free to just decline, decline, decline). You don’t need to elaborate.

      Also, I don’t think that “races” are prone to things as much as we have genes that predispose us to things within our birth famliies. At any rate, “the doctor wants me to cut back” is all the explanation that you need to share (and I’d urge you to decline without commentary). It’s bad that people have mocked your husband, but everything seems like a stone that someone is throwing once you go past “no, thank you,” People are sensitive and handle that poorly.

      1. The husband’s comment about the number of sugars merited mocking, IMO. I can and do read nutrition facts. Commenting on the added sugars for a drink that was available for others at the gathering? Not ok.

    4. I don’t classify any particular food as good or bad. I basically follow a Mediterrean diet, and buy organic, because those are foods I find most appealing, but I’ll down a Coke at a cook out and always have cake when I celebrate a birthday. If I didn’t want to drink something that some one offered me, I would just say no thank you, I wouldn’t make a nasty comment about it or try to make it a virture that I turned it down.

      1. I don’t drink sugary drinks very often any more but I had a Mexican Coke the other day and OMG did that hit the spot. I’d had a middling headache all day that day and it went away after the Coke.

          1. The very best.

            The best HFCS Coke is from McDonald’s and I will die on that hill.

            But Mexican Coke is the tippy top of the best.

    5. My rule about eating with other people is, I make no comments about their food except, Gee, that looks delicious. If you want to eat “clean,” by all means do so, but if someone offers you something you don’t want to eat, just say, No thank you. No one wants to hear an Ugh in response to them offering you something to eat. I myself do not love most desserts, but I just say, No thank you. And I DO NOT say anything along the lines of, I’m being “good” today, or anything related to the health content of the food.

      In my opinion, food talk is pretty boring unless you are talking recipes, and again, in the context of talking about delicious food, not what fits or doesn’t fit with your diet.

      TL;DR – eat or don’t eat whatever you want, but don’t make judgements about food out loud when you are dining with others.

      1. Yes, this exactly. I don’t like it when the response to an offer is “ugh no, this will wreck my macros” or similar.

        1. My husband’s nephew, whom I didn’t know at all, said “no I don’t eat dead animals” when he dropped by and I offered him some of our dinner.

          Now he’s all Keto or Paleo or whatever and eats all meat all the time, and is obnoxious about that too.

      3. I will say that I don’t discuss food with others, except for my friends who are also athletes / who also chase fitness goals. Nutrition obviously goes hand in hand with training so we do discuss food in this context pretty often. But I wouldn’t do it with other friends who don’t share this hobby.

      4. +1,000. I’m sugar-free, sober, and vegetarian, and I never ever ever make any comments about my diet or food restrictions. Alcohol consumption and diet are very sensitive topics for people, and making judgments about either can be triggering for people for a myriad of reasons. DH’s problem here wasn’t turning down the Snapple, but making a comment about the Snapple being unhealthy. People likely won’t make any judgments about your diet if you don’t make any comments that sound judgmental about theirs.

      5. +1. I am vegetarian by choice and celiac not by choice. When offered a hamburger by someone who doesn’t know me, I would never reply with “ugh, dead cow” or similar. I also think candy tastes bad, but I wouldn’t reply “ew, gross” when offered a Skittle.
        People have different dietary restrictions, preferences, and choices. Yours are yours and other people’s are theirs. No comments required. A “no, thank you” is the only appropriate response when offered an item you don’t want to consume. If someone then wants to ask why you’re declining what they presumably think is a tasty item, you can politely explain. But, again, I would say I’m vegetarian rathe than saying “ugh, dead cow.” So, in the Snapple example, if asked why I declined, I would say I put my sugar calories into the delicious brownies that Cousin brought to the party.

      6. Completely agree with this.

        For myself, I will eat a treat but only if it is DELICIOUS. I don’t waste my time on things I think are junky or mediocre.

        1. +1 to this. When I started eating healthier I gave myself one treat meal a week. Over time that treat meal has become less junk food because my taste buds have changed. I used to love a soda as part of my treat meal but it no longer appeals to me but I do love an occasional seasonal latte.

          For food, I find a simple “oh that looks delicious but no thank you” followed by a subject change works well.

          For alcohol if I’m not drinking I go with “thanks but I’m not drinking tonight”. I have found that qualifying not drinking with tonight invites less follow up questions. At first I got more pushback but it’s gotten easier over time and people have also gotten used to the fact that I often don’t drink (but sometimes I do) so it’s become less of a thing.
          M

      7. THIS. I do not want to discuss my food. I don’t want to discuss others’ food. Not only is it a super boring topic most of the time, it can be so emotionally loaded. So just don’t.

    6. Yes it is super boring and obnoxious to complain about the sugar content of a Snapple at a party. Your diet isn’t interesting. If he doesn’t want to drink it he can just say no thank you.

      1. To me, there is nuance being lost here. It would be very rude of him to proactively seek out and Ugh the Snapple just because. However, if it was handed to him or he started to grab one and then he looked at the label? I don’t think voicing his reaction was the most diplomatic decision than just politely declining or putting it back without comment, but it seems less obnoxious if that was his honest in-the-moment reaction to realizing the truth about his long-time fave.

    7. I eat very clean and I find that it’s way easier for me to do so if I have a basically zero allowance policy. I struggle with food addiction, and any flexibility lends itself to going way off the wagon, or having to battle constant cravings whereas when I’m not eating bad foods I don’t crave bad foods at all.

      I will make exceptions for things that feel truly special, like my best friend baking a wonderful galette from local berries or an outing at a new dessert cafe where I share something with friends. In these situations, I try to still have a relatively small portion and to monitor if I’m getting a sugar rush or overly full feeling. I wouldn’t make an exception for a Snapple at a barbecue, since it wouldn’t feel worth it and is also a pretty easy thing to turn down. 40 grams of sugar for me is a torpedo that means the cravings will come back full force and I will feel kind of gross. I prefer the clean, low-inflammation feeling of good diet to the taste of almost any food.

      Also – I think the food industry is unethical in many ways and mosts packaged foods are designed to get you craving more. A lot of us don’t have healthy relationships with food as a result and I feel comfortable opting out of that culture without guilt. Don’t make a big deal of ‘too much sugar’ in Snapple though, because that may shame other people who are drinking Snapples and will prompt more judgment of your choices as a result. Live and let live – don’t let their behavior make you feel bad about your lifestyle, but don’t advertise in a way that will make other people feel bad about theirs. In general, I avoid ever making comments like “that’s a lot of sugar” or “I don’t eat sugar” or “that’s unhealthy” about any foods, because it is implicitly casting judgment on people who do eat those foods.

      1. +1 that the food industry is unethical in how it actively tries to get people to eat more junk with no consideration for their health or the environment.

        I’m certainly not perfect but I really try to opt out of the ultra processed junk rat race.

    8. Sounds like your husband offended your family at the BBQ by insulting their beverage choices.

        1. They may be making making choices that are actively harming them. But I also would not tell an adult to quit smoking, to gain or lose weight because I think they’re over or under weight, to sleep more, to walk or bike to work instead of drive, to improve their social lives because it’s good for mental health, to start or stop running because I think running is good or bad for their bodies, etc. If an adult wants to ask me what I think about their smoking, weight, sleep habits, transportation, social schedules, or exercise, then I will tell them. But it is not my job to offer my opinions when they haven’t asked. And offering me a food or beverage that I didn’t ask for is not a hidden way of asking my opinion about their diet.
          Would you feel differently if he had responded about the number of grams of sugar and then added “no wonder you’re so fat”?

        4. There is not “but” here. To the extent there is a “but” it’s not for a family social event. It’s with a doctor or a family decision (it’s easier if everyone does the same thing vs one kid is a vegan and one parent “eats clean”). It’s hard to make changes. Doubly so if everyone is bringing the drama and the finger pointing.

          1. It’s a LOT easier to make changes with a lot of community and social support though.

          2. Finger wagging and judgment is not support. In fact it usually has the opposite effect. You can look it up.

          1. Probably the diabetes? It’s a lot more dangerous to consume concentrated sugar sources and try to compensate with meds than it is to moderate.

        6. So? Are you their mother or doctor?

          Someone commenting that what I’m choosing to drink is “so unhealthy” is someone I’m going to avoid.

    9. I allow myself the occasional treat if I want it. I’ve also been trying to live cleaner over the last few years, and unlike previous attempts, it’s stuck reasonably well this time. I think it’s stuck because I’ve gotten myself out of the “no treats” thinking — I understand that it may not work for everyone (I just read a thoughtful comment from someone going the other way), but it just does not work for me to treat every possible snack as a kind of make or break moment, when it’s the overall trend that matters. It encourages a kind of focus on “denial” that isn’t healthy for me, and leads me to binge when I’ve felt that I’ve denied myself for too long. What has worked is cultivating a genuine enthusiasm for foods and snacks that foods that I really like — it’s no big deal to eat a cupcake if I’ve stocked the week with healthier options as well.

    10. So my personal approach is that if I hit my protein and produce counts for the day, I can have whatever I want as long as I stay under my daily calorie goal.

      I aim for 120g or protein, 5 servings of produce, and 1900 calories a day. There’s always room for a snack that’s fun but empty calories or something more indulgent like dessert or a glass of wine but there’s usually not room for both.

    11. I usually have a treat of some type most every day. The key is to know if you are an abstainer or moderator. I can’t buy a box of cookies at costco because I will eat them all in a week. I can grab a couple cookies, a bag of chips or a donut with my coffee in the office building coffee shop every day or two.

      Saving up for weekends or vacations feels too much like a purge/binge cycle to me. I do eat a bit better in the week before vacation because we eat at restaurants more over vacation but it’s not like a super intense difference.

      1. This. If I buy a family size box of Oreos, I will eat the box over the course of a week. And honestly it won’t be that satisfying yet I’ve consumed a ton of added sugar and all the artificial ingredients for a full week. So as I’ve grown older I’ve focused on getting smaller sized treats or treats I’ll really enjoy and then be done with it. So for treats at home, I may pick up a bag of Pepperidge Farm cookies but fifteen cookies and the bag is gone – it isn’t like a box of 35 or 50 Oreos. More than that I try to get said treat outside the home – something high quality that I’ll enjoy and then it’ll be done. So it may be a fancy donut from a bakery – buy one maybe two and that’s it. Or two of the really decadent cookies from Levain. But once it’s done, it’s done and frankly I feel like I’ve had a really nice dessert rather than mindlessly eating three dozen Oreos over a week.

    12. OP here – to add – I do agree with everyone that he did NOT need to comment that it was a day’s worth of sugar. I told him it was rude and he could’ve just said no thanks. But his view is – oh please my family is pushy, it would lead to questions why, I just cut it off at the pass. I mean he’s right, his family IS pushy about food and judgmental if you try to make health changes, but if it were me I’d still just say no thanks.

      1. Obviously the ideal is that everyone can MYOB about food but that doesn’t sound like it’s doable with his family.

        If someone is pushy about getting me to eat something unhealthy I have no patience for it. To me it’s just as bad, if not worse, as pushing someone to drink alcohol or smoke when they said they don’t want to.

        For the record, I drink a few nights a week and I have a little ice cream a few nights a week – I’m not some ultra clean eater but I will not accept other pushing of junk food on me.

        1. +1 agree with this. It’s fine to offer, but if somebody says “no, thank you” that’s it. (Obviously without the rudeness, as OP added.) No is not a negotiation or an opening to be cajoled, bullied or convinced.

          I had a lot of comments like, but you’re so thiiiin growing up, as if my saying no, thank you, was an invitation for people to comment on my body. Spoiler: it was not. And I still genuinely don’t want a piece of Oreo cake.

          I do think some people seem to feel that people rejecting treats is the same as rejecting the person offering the treats.

      2. I have a lot of pushy family about food and I’ve found less is more. No is a complete sentence. No followed by an explanation for the no seems to signal to my family that there’s room for negotiation about my no.

      3. My family actually got on board gradually, and some of them lost a ton of weight and became more physically active. It was a kind of organic thing as some people started making different choices and then other people got interested.

      4. “No thanks. Appreciate that you remember I love Snapple but my doctor told me to cut down on sugar” is enough if he must say something.

    13. Of course if your DH is rude people will be rude back. “No thanks, not into the Snapple as much anymore” is fine.

    14. Attending family stuff with relatives who eat differently than you is so hard. I try to eat clean about 80-90% of the time, but my entire extended family shared a beach house. My parents and one set of aunts and uncles eat fine but definitely still subscribe to outdated nutrition advice. My generation (20-30s) is mostly focused on being healthy most of the time, though we do it in different ways.

      Then there’s the other set. My uncle eats healthily but drinks like a fish and doesn’t understand that while most of us like to drink quite a bit, it’s not something we do every day. His wife has the worst diet I’ve ever seen and is so opposed to exercise in all forms she doesn’t even walk a block for an errand, she’ll drive. Due to family dynamics, there’s a lot of appeasing of said aunt and it’s hard to maintain my diet while I’m at the house. I can manage breakfast and lunch fine (though I do get annoying comments), but dinner can be tough.

      Likewise, my family (except the aunt) is active, but I’m the only one who actively works out while at the beach.

      Look – like a few beers on the beach, lazy days reading or napping on the beach, burgers and dogs on the grill, and going out for ice cream as much as anyone else in my family; I just balance it out with workouts, protein smoothies, and plenty of salads. It is annoying to always field comments about my choice to lift or run before the beach or scrounge up some veggies to add to my meals or my decision to take a day off of drinking, especially when I’m the one making the “healthy choices”

    15. I save splurges for stuff that I know I’ll savor and love as opposed to ‘oh here I’m encountering a treat I like, guess I’ll have it!”

      In your example, I would have turned down the Snapple, but the commentary about why needs to stay inside his head. Just say “oh no thanks, I’m good with water” and move on.

    16. Fellow South Asian here and I think some of this is cultural. If your families are anything like mine, you could be 40 and they STILL think you LOVE what you told them you loved at age 3. In my case – rice pudding. Sure I loved it at a small child. Yet turn down rice pudding now and it’s like what you’ve always loved it, why are you sooo worried about blood sugar, you’re too anxious etc. Forgive me that age 3 I told you I loved a dessert that I avoid now because it is rice with sugar and more sugar.

      So for all those saying just say no thanks – it isn’t as easy as you think. In some of these families, there are people who NEED to make changes and simply do not – as OP says there are people with actual diabetes issues drinking soda. So when you come along as a young healthy person simply being proactive in how you eat or work out or whatever, they view it as some sort of slight onto them and instead turn it back on you being paranoid, anxious, not knowing how to enjoy life etc. IDK the solution – I tend to avoid large South Asian gatherings and when I go I’m outcast as the American – said with scorn – because I say things like no thank you and don’t discuss things like health.

      1. I think that this is where the only thing you can control is you. You can’t control the others. Don’t even bother to try. You can repeat “No, thanks” a thousand times. It’s that or escalate. Your choice (see? I can’t contol you. But you asked. We all answered. Families of origin issues are pretty universal. Especially re food.).

      2. Yes that among unhealthy people those actively trying to be healthy are often perceived as slighting the unhealthy folks regardless of what we say or do!

        I try to politely turn down chips and get badgered with questions and judgement (like a little! You’re on vacation!). I don’t want to have to explain myself but end up getting g pestered into it.

        1. “No thank you” is fine. “Ugh, 40 grams of sugar! That’s enough for the whole day” is a very rude thing for a guest to say.

    17. I work with a nutritionist, and she is pretty firm about not seeing “bad” foods or drinks and sticking to allowing everything in moderation. However, some folks can handle a small treat now and then, and others find it easier to avoid overindulgence by abstaining entirely. Neither person is better or morally superior; it’s just different.

      I think maybe you could benefit from working with a professional. The way you are trying to speak as a “we” on eating/drinking when you are both grown individuals with autonomy isn’t OK–nor is it OK for him to police others in the same way. Just a whole lot of unhealthy ways of viewing “healthy” to unpack here.

      1. The term “clean” is incredibly loaded, too. I like what I heard from one RD: let’s approach our overall diet as being health-ful. Because clean, healthy, and similar terms can lead to a lot of black-and-white thinking and shame. It also can be very subjective, so it’s not that helpful anyway.

        OP, your husband was being kind of a jerk. You don’t need to fix your relatives; they make their choices and you can make yours.

      2. Everything in moderation didn’t work for me at all. I needed to give my taste time to adjust. I also don’t see the point of it when I have to avoid gluten 100% anyway. It wasn’t about avoiding overindulgence; it’s more that my diet is made up of everything I eat, and I need my palate adapted to enjoy foods that aren’t ultra sweet or ultra salty.

        1. And you literally just made the point–you are one of the avoiders of sweet and ultra salty because moderation will eventually make you crave.

          Obviously ignoring a food allergy or sensitivity isn’t what the nutritionist is advocating. I can tell from how you’re deliberately trying to be obtuse and argumentative what a delight you must be at a family BBQ.

    18. I was trying to eat clean and ate a lot of cheese and yogurt, all organic and pasture fed cows and as unprocessed as those things can be. You know what happened? I ended up with high cholesterol. So, not that you asked, but I would pay attention to your cholesterol levels as the cholesterol and the saturated fat in the foods you are subbing in could actually create problems where you previously were fine.

      I wish eating healthy foods was easier to navigate.

      1. Different poster – it’s about saturated fat. I got yelled at when I said that here before but saturated fats are what drive up LDL. So to the extent someone is looking for good protein through greek yogurt, they need to buy the low or no fat options. Cheese I guess eat in moderation as I’m not sure there are many low or no fat options – and they may not taste great. And for everyone who will come scream at me about fat being good – it definitely is, I’m not espousing the no fat thinking of three decades ago, but it needs to be unsaturated fat – nuts, olive oil etc.

        1. Whole fat yogurt is associated with better cardiovascular outcomes than low or non fat.

          1. I can spout statistics all day too, he has that’s what I do for a living. But this is an individual who found it didn’t work for her personally.

          2. Okay. She was also eating cheese. She shouldn’t give advice to eat non-fat or low-fat yogurt based on LDL going up on full fat yogurt and cheese.

            My LDL was lowest on a high saturated fat diet, so I get that we need to go by what is working for us. But I’m not going to go advocate that everyone start eating butter all day long because my LDL was very low when I did.

    19. I don’t know if you are boring, but if he actually said that out loud to the person offering (it’s not clear to me from your comment whether he said it out loud), then he was being rude. He could just say “no thank you.”

    20. You were rude about something that was offered to you as a guest. Under any diet plan that is just obnoxious. Eat what you want & pass politely on things you don’t, but stop lecturing other people. YTA

  4. just a PSA that the crinkle gauze line at Gap is crazy soft – like muslin baby blankets. I ordered a lot of things (size 16, 5’4) and unfortunately the PL is just a bit too short and tight on me, but the XL is way too long and baggy, so maybe I’ll try the regular L. I got the pants, the dress, the skirt, the shorts, and the shirt – all cute and casual but not sure i’ll keep any. i also got the high waist crop pants from old navy and they’re really cute and make my butt look good.

    anyone else care to share any reviews of recent purchases?

    1. Just got several dresses and a skirt at Boden, wearing the Amelie jersey dress at the office today with the pale green J. Crew linen blazer I got a few weeks ago after it was posted here I think. I haven’t bought new clothes in almost a year, and I’m really enjoying the variety. I’m 5’9 and the combo of size 12L for the knee-length dresses and size 12R for the midi dresses means they all pretty much fall where I want them to, though the kimono wrap jersey midi dress in 12R is slightly big. The bike ride in this morning, with a pair of shorts under the dress, was super easy and the skirt didn’t get caught on the seat at all. Yesterday I wore the Rosaline jersey skirt in 14R and it was super comfy. The best thing is, everything has pockets!

    2. I bought a couple pairs of the high waisted crop pants from Old Navy too and really like them, but I find they stretch out during the day. I’m the same size and height as you and I always have to buy petite pants in order for the cropped pants to actually be cropped on me, lol.

      I just bought a pair of cream New Balance 327s which are so comfy and look cute with cropped pants or dresses.

    3. I use muslin washcloths for my face and they’re insubstantial. Now you’re making me think that’s what the Gap clothing is, as I would never wear anything made from those!

      Amazon sells a basic 3/4 sleeve boatneck tee in their Amazon Essentials line and I’m really happy with the ones I ordered. Really nice coming out of the wash too.

  5. Due to work stress I’m not hungry. I don’t want to eat, I bring lunch and pick and then feel worse because I’m wasting food and also not getting enough calories. I go home and have no appetite and go straight to bed. Any ideas for how to get more calories during stressful times? I nearly gagged trying to consume a protein shake today.

    2. not to be the commenter police, but have you posted here before about this? i think maybe you need to see a doctor. maybe an antidepressant or anxiety med?

      your body primarily needs liquid – keep hydrating. sometimes when i don’t want to eat the healthy stuff i find that eating a small portion of something unhealthy like chips or crackers kind of wakes my stomach up.

      if you’re really in need of calories, milkshake it up.

    3. I’m the same way – can’t eat when I’m work stressed. And I too can’t stand protein shakes. Is there anything calorie dense that sounds good to you? For me that’s usually peanut butter straight from the jar. Not to say it’ll give you your daily calories but it is calorie dense. Or nuts generally, trail mix, greek yogurt, cheese – like cheese sticks? Heck if a slice of pizza sounds good or ice cream, get that – it’ll at least get calories in.

    4. Hi – as has been discussed before, if you have unable to eat that is a medical issue and you need to seek advice from a doctor not the internet.

      You’re had many tips and suggestions about what to eat to increase calories but if you can’t drink even a protein shake and have tried different brands, you need a medical leave from work to address your stress and response.

      Best wishes for wellness in the future.

    5. When I don’t have much of an appetite I find snacky meals more appealing. Like a cheese plate with fruit and nuts for lunch or dinner. I also count tortilla chips and guacamole as a health food–whole grains and avocado!

      1. The problem isn’t diet. I’d speak to a therapist. Or you’re just going to replace one unhealthy pattern with another.

    7. Your problem isn’t finding a protein shake, it’s the difficulty dealing with stress. If you’re coming home and going straight to bed, this is your wake-up call that you need to get your life back.

      I don’t know if it helps to hear it this way, but if I had a bird and it stopped eating and was lifeless in its cage, I would be taking it to the vet. You are better than a bird.

    8. You don’t know if this from work stress or work stress + a new stress inducted medical condition. Please see a physician and make sure they’re taking you seriously.

      1. induced, not inducted.

        Seriously, this can be a symptom of some very serious medical conditions.

    9. Don’t force food in your body. A few skipped meals won’t hurt you while you figure out a stressful situation. Maybe something sweet and caloric before bed, like hot chocolate, will help w sleep while you conquer some stuff.

  6. why are gym shorts so absurdly short? I am a middle age middle sized woman and i am not wearing a 2 inch inseam. i mostly wear 3/4 tights but when it’s really hot it would be nice to wear shorts….

        1. no you can also get longer inseams at Costco! (yes, that bastion of chic clothes)
          also Amazon of course

          1. I think I have the Costco brand (32 degrees) and they’re my favorite. I will say that they are not particularly compressive – which I like, but your needs may vary.

    3. I feel like this was all I could find for a few years, but recently a lot more stores are carrying longer inseams. I just bought some Nike shorts with a 5” inseam and a quick google pulls up a lot of 7” options.

    5. I’ve had luck searching for basketball shorts to get longer inseams + loose fit. If you like tights style, Oiselle or for a cheaper option REIs house brand has some Oiselle style ones that’ll be on sale for 30% off pretty regularly

    6. CapHillStyle has recommended the North Face Aphrodite shorts multiple times. I’ve never tried them.

    7. That’s why I exercise in ankle pants. My chub rub eats up the shorts inseam and they get shorter and shorter.

    9. Athleta run with it in the 4″ inseam are pretty good. For running, though, I really prefer wearing bike shorts for chub rub prevention and a longer inseam.

  7. Encouragement to do the thing!

    This is silly: I finally admitted I will never get around to hemming my otherwise perfect secondhand AG jeans, which I found for a steal well over a year ago. So I pulled out the scissors and cropped them this weekend. I have been wearing them on weekends cuffed, which looked sloppy; now they have a raw hem that hit at the perfect spot just above my ankle and I love them so much.

    1. I did this with some of my looser “skinny” jeans and now they look so much better. Cutting off the skinniest part around the hem made them look like modern straight legs I like a raw hem too.

  8. Since we’re talking about shorts – does anyone else have that problem where shorts kind of ride up in the center and fabric gets stuck in your crotch area and then you have to constantly adjust the shorts so they don’t look like an arrow directly to your crotch? do you find it to be a problem with shorts or can it be fixed by a different gait, or maybe the chub rub type stuff?

    1. I need 6” shorts. I like the North Face ones. Also Long Rogas from Oiselle. Bike shorts but only sometimes.

    2. Caveat is that I have thighs at every size, so this will always be a tiny bit of an issue, but if it’s that extreme, I would question whether the shorts fit you correctly. Maybe you need a slightly longer inseam or size up so they hang better. Fabric can make a difference, too. If it’s super flimsy, it’s not gonna stay put.

    3. That happens when the front rise of your body is a touch longer than the front rise of the garment. In pants this is less visible because pantlegs weigh down the creases, but in shorts it is the bane. I hate it because I’m a short person with a ridiculously long crotch. My solution has always been to buy low rise bottoms so there is no expectation that it would hug the waist in the front to start with. Impossible to find now. The other solution is to buy Long sizes and hem. Buying larger doesn’t work well but maybe worth trying – the rise is nearly the same seam to top on size 8 and 14 but the tug may be less.

      2. Yep, it’s the rise and not the inseam. If the shorts you like come in a Tall version, try them. Otherwise it’s trial and error to find shorts with a higher rise that are cut right for your shape. Old Navy and Eddie Bauer are the two most consistent ones that work for me.

    4. You need a different cut of shorts. This is less likely to happen if the inseam is longer, the fabric is sturdier, and the shorts fit more closely to your leg. More likely to happen when the inseam is short, the fabric is flimsier, and the shorts fit more loosely. If you really want to solve this, play around with the cut/fabric until you find the type of shorts that is optimum for your leg shape. (Yes, you may have to rule out the shorts you’d prefer to wear, in order to solve this.)

      1. I find that the looser the shorts the less likely they are to ride up. Bike shorts or skimmies are the worst offenders; running shorts are fine.

    5. Yep I commented on the above post that my chub rub eats shorts. My daughter was a club and school athlete in HS and extremely fit and I saw it constantly happening to her. Sorry about the thighs, honey!

    6. This is me and I am loving elastic waist linen shorts from Old Navy this year. (Not 100% linen but cheap and look modern to me)

      1. I bought the elastic crinkle shorts at old navy this year and I hate shorts. Surprisingly very comfortable and don’t ride up.

    7. I have no idea, but it happens to me when I’m in extremely lean marathon shape and also in my current post-kid 2 larger body. If you don’t care how it looks, chub rub sticks can help. For me it’s also an issue walking around casually, and not just in exercise, and longer shorts seem to be the only thing that sort of helps.

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