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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 107 Comments · by

Coffee Break: Cashmere Ruana

Coffee Break

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Cashmere RuanaBrooks Brothers' cashmere ruana is on sale! Only two colors are left (heather gray and camel), but so it goes. I think this is a classic, sophisticated look over a blazer for that in-between weather. It was $498, but is now marked to $199.20. Cashmere Ruana (L-2)

Sales of note for 10.10.24

  • Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
  • Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
  • Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
  • Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
  • J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
  • J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
  • Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
  • Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
  • White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

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Comments

  1. DC Anon

    Hi Ladies!
    I am planning a 2-3 day SoCal vacation for DH and I in late March. The only thing we have on the agenda so far is to go to the San Diego zoo. Any tips on where to stay? I would ideally like a quite and tranquil lodging option that is walking distance from the beach and hiking, no night life necessary. Would you recommend staying in Laguna Beach and driving to the zoo one day?
    Thanks so much!

    • Sydney Bristow

      I’m not sure how far away it is from San Diego proper, but I stayed at the Grand Colonial in La Jolla this past summer. I loved it. The beach is in walking distance and there were various types of beach areas, some more sandy and some rocky areas overlooking the cove. The hotel’s breakfast was delicious and perfectly serene to eat on the back patio. Our room was incredible too with a great view.

      • Anon

        I’ll second the Grand Colonial. It’s a beautiful property. My brother got married there. La Jolla is about a 20 minute (with no traffic) drive to the SD Zoo.

        I do not recommend staying in Orange County/Laguna and driving to the zoo. That will add at least 90 minutes each way.

        • Orangerie

          At least 90 minutes, but probably more. Southern California traffic is an absolute nightmare.

          • Anon

            Thanks Sidney. It was lovely.

            I live in San Diego. Regarding the traffic – it can be pretty terrible but having moved to LA and the Bay Area for several years, I’ll take San Diego traffic any day. It’s still manageable relative to the other areas in CA that I’ve lived.

      • Alanna of Trebond

        Haha that’s where we always stayed with my firm on work trips. Grande Colonial La Jolla is the best.

    • OCAssociate

      Laguna is about a 1.5 hour drive from San Diego, so keep that in mind.

      Laguna Beach is wonderful – great beach, great restaurants. If you want to be a little closer to San Diego (but still ~1 hr drive) San Clemente and Dana Point are classic California “beach towns” and may be a bit cheaper than either Laguna or La Jolla.

    • OCattorney

      Laguna is quite a drive from the zoo but it is my favorite place in SoCal. You might want to try Del Mar/Leucadia/La Jolla for something closer to the zoo. If you are okay with the drive, you can’t beat Laguna for charm, beautiful sights, great art galleries and lots of unique dining options. If you stay in Laguna you can also explore orange county on the other days of your trip. There is great hiking in Laguna and people come from all over the world to shop at Fashion Island (Newport) and South Coast Plaza (Costa Mesa) if shopping is your thing. If hiking is a major priority, I think the drive to the zoo shouldn’t stop you from staying in Laguna. Make sure to fly in and out of John Wayne (santa ana/irvine) though rather than the SD airport. Have fun!

    • anon

      What about The Lodge at Torrey Pines? It’s further north than La Jolla, but it is walking distance to Torrey Pines state reserve– hiking and the beach.

      (trying without links since it didn’t post last time)

    • abogada

      La Jolla is nice. Ocean Beach is also quiet, walkable with cute shops, and right on the beach. I’m not sure about proximity to hiking.

    • MJ

      I highly recommend you check out Sunset Magazine — they are a local magazine that has great tips for places to stay, eat, road trips…the works. Their website search engine is not great, but you can search for things on g o o g l e and then back into the helpful articles that way. Sunset really knows how to find great places, many that are not super-pricy. Also, remember that you will have a car, so it might be worth it to stay at a non-beach hotel (or a few blocks away) and then up your food budget–that will save a ton vs. being right on the water. Enjoy SoCal!

  3. Anonymous

    Piggybacking off the previous post – this is maybe TMI but when I’m a few pounds over my target weight, I feel really unattractive. I’m about 10 pounds more than I should be right now and have been dating someone new. I’m trying to stop things from heading in a more intimate direction because of how awful I feel about myself, even though I know I’m still generally in decent shape and I’m relatively small.

    Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this body/weight insecurity? Thank you

    • PolyD

      You know, really, I think if most guys were asked, “Do you want to get to be with a naked woman who is ~10lbs over what she wants to be (note I did not say “healthy weight” or “average weight”, the 10lbs over is your perception) or weighs ~10lbs less?” they’d say “BE WITH NAKED WOMAN!!!”

      So, be nice to yourself. If this guy is worth being intimate with, he will be thrilled to be naked with you no matter what your weight. And, maybe he is also worrying about a little extra pudge around the middle. Guys are not immune to weight worries/body issues.

      I myself am on the small side and my weight has crept up about 5-7lbs more than I’d like. Haven’t noticed any lack of interest from the BF.

      • zora

        If this guy is worth being intimate with, he will be thrilled to be naked with you no matter what your weight.
        ^THIS THIS THISSITY THIS THIS

        I am about 25 lbs over where I would like to be right now, but whenever I say that, my current Garden Party guest is all: Huh? What are you talking about?

        keep the lights low, maybe light some candles instead and just enjoy it! It’s supposed to be enjoyable, that’s the whole point! ;o) Hugs and rawrs

        • NOLA

          Totally agree. I was with a guy, years ago, when I was pretty thin, who told our couples therapist that I looked better with clothes on. Yeah… this was the same guy whose father said I was too good for him. Not worth getting naked with.

          Now, my current guy and I got together when I was at my thinnest. I still had extra skin, body issues. Now I’m heavier. But he doesn’t care one bit. He thinks I’m the hottest woman ever and he constantly tells me that (and that I’m beautiful). We don’t keep the lights low and it’s probably the first time in my life I’ve ever felt this comfortable naked with someone. But it’s because he is so openly appreciative.

          • KLG

            Yep. Hubby and I have both put on weight since getting meeting and then more weight since getting married and I’m currently pregnant and gaining quickly. He often tells me how beautiful I am, including when I am changing into pajamas (i.e. not fully clothed).

        • LizNYC

          I’d have to agree. When hubs and I were dating my weight went up and down frequently because of meds (fun fun!) and when I expressed insecurity about it, he was like “what are you talking about? You’re beautiful no matter what!” Pretty much, as long as I was willing to be naked for some fun, he was happy. And when I later expressed parts that I was self conscious about, he was like “I’m sorry you don’t like these parts, but I love you just the way you are.”

        • Anon

          Yes, totally agree with this! If he cares, then he isn’t the right person anyway. I have recently been seeing someone new and am about 15 pounds heavier than my comfortable weight right now–but because this guy clearly just loves my body, I have found that I am so much more confident and enjoy the LGPs SO much more. This really surprised me (especially because my ex made me feel bad about my body when I weighed less than I do now), but I think that it’s all tautological–the LGP is hotter and I feel more confident/sexy because he loves my body the way it is, and he probably is more attracted to me because I come across as really confident. Just enjoy being with someone who’s so into you!

    • anon for this

      Remember that he wants you despite your inhibitions.

      For what it’s worth, there have been only occasions enough to count on one hand that I have had s3x without a bra on since my first was born in 2008. I just don’t like the way the girls are anymore. And I don’t know that I will ever be ok with how they look/where they are in their natural state. So, I choose to wear a bra. DH doesn’t mind so much, but he is more appreciative when I lose it.

      Get something you find sexy and comfortable. If it’s a fantastic bra or babydoll, that works. You can also be more tryst-y and choose (at least for now) to only go for the nearly-fully-clothed encounter, which, I think in and of itself, is pretty s3xy.

      Sometimes, just working out, whether it is actually working toward your body goal or not, can just make you feel better. If you bang out a bunch of push ups and squats at the gym, regardless of whether those had lasting effect on your current situation, that still feels pretty bad@ss. And, if you keep it up, it WILL have lasting effect.

      After 2.5 years of crossfit, I have oblique muscles that are visible. My 6-pack is nicely hidden under the accordion of my stretch-marked fluffy belly. But I feel like a BAMF after a good day at the gym, and am more likely to initiate s3xytime when I feel like that.

    • Anon

      Maybe you have some extra pounds in places you don’t want, but you also probably have extra pounds in places that someone else likes. Ahem.

    • AIMS

      I think that there is nothing as s*xy as feeling comfortable being naked. So even when I don’t feel my 100% best I pretend that I do. It really translates and pretending actually makes me feel better internally. It’s like acting but then you start to believe it. No hunching over, no hiding, no lights off – stand up straight, shoulders back, believe you’re the hottest thing that ever walked into this guy’s life… There’s something to it. Confidence is hot and you can fake it till you start to believe it.

    • TBK

      Honestly? Clothes don’t do as much as we think they do. Have you ever seen a guy with his clothes off and been surprised that he was fatter/skinnier than you’d thought? I highly doubt it. First, clothes don’t really do much. Second, by the time he’s naked, he’s NAKED and you’re doing NAKED things. Unless you’re wearing a giant tent every day that conceals absolutely everything, or are wearing 20 pairs of Spanx, he already knows what you look like. And he seems to like it.

    • Ellen

      Hug’s to you. I know this situeation well. I am also haveing issue’s with my wieght now b/c it is winter and I can NOT exersize as much, but you can rest asured that a guy will NOT be disapointed if you are wiling to have sex, even if you are a littel heavy. Alan wanted sex all the time he was abel to when sober, and even when drunk, and I was hardley a Kate Upton at the time either. To bad for him b/c he would NEVER have let me sleep if I were perfect. He said I was a solid 8 out of 10 — funny b/c he was a jerk that could never get any other girl in bed for year’s, tho he said he was a big ladie’s man in college and women were very anxius to have sex with him b/c of his expertiese. FOOEY! They were misled. He was realy NOT anything special and did NOT do much for me either.

      Anyway, the IRS guy tells me he has about 4 more day’s here and is NOT doeing anything over the weekend. I said why doesnt he go back to DC, and he said b/c his goverment rate hotel is cheaper then takeing the Amtrak both way’s. So he wan’ts to know if I can show him NYC this weekend. I said I would check, so I have to talk to the manageing partner about this. I am a littel queezie about showeing him NYC b/c it would be a date, and I do NOT want him to get romantic. How come I get into these strange situation’s? I supose b/c I am a partner now, and have to do it for the partnership? OMG, I wish I could just get MARRIED and eat and watch TV at home all day. FOOEY!

    • Anonattorney

      You know what surprisingly really help me with body issues? Watching other women with imperfect bodies demonstrate their self-confidence. Netflix some discs of Girls and watch Lena Dunham rock it. She is not afraid to bare it all and get freaky. It’s inspiring.* Confidence is 1,000,000 sexier than insecurity + perfect body.

      *I fully understand that her character has a number of issues and problems. However, her lack of body inhibitions are pretty great.

  4. anon

    How do you all spend your weekends? My partner and I don’t have children, we’re in our early 30s, and we have tons of free time on the weekends. We usually go to yoga, run the few errands we might have, and maybe go to dinner with friends. We’re looking for more daytime activities and we’re wondering what other people without kids do on the weekends.

    • BankrAtty

      Read, go to the zoo or other museum (laugh at the people with screaming childre), go to a matinee, go to the farmer’s market, go on a long bike ride together, play board games, consume a leisurely brunch at home (with mimosas perhaps), nap in the sunshine, attend a cooking class, go to the bookstore, explore a new neighborhood, enjoy a weekend happy hour.

      • Anonymous

        Do you happen to have a single male friend in my city who lives this lifestyle too? ;) This is pretty much my ideal list and so far no dice finding a man who shares it.

    • kjoirishlastname

      Dream of weekends without our kids. j/k. Not really, but kind of.

      Prior to kids, DH and I filled our spare time with hikes, home projects and rescue squad–we’re both volunteers. Oddly enough, we do the same stuff now, we just have to wrangle the kids too.

    • Alice

      If we don’t go away for the weekend, we tend to have one “lazy” day that goes like this: Wake up, coffee/breakfast, spend an hour or two at the dog park, perhaps hit up an open house or two in the neighborhood, work out (separately), go to the farmer’s market and get something for dinner, make said dinner, watch a movie / call the parents / have s*xy time / read a book / wedding plan.

      Then for the other day, it kind of depends on the weather outside, what friends we may be hanging out with, and whether we have serious errands/chores/cleaning to do. Also, we are on a serious budget so we try to limit buying tickets for things, going out to eat a lot, etc. Our tried and true options include:

      – sailing
      – going to museums
      – meeting up with friends and cooking
      – long bike rides
      – day trips (hiking, wine tasting, etc.)

      I feel like we have tons of options due to where we live (DC). If we were closer to good skiing, I would put that in too.

      • Dulcinea

        Wow, your “lazy day” sounds very active to me! “Lazy day” to me is where all you do is eat/read/surf the internet/chill on the couch or porch. That’s usually my favorite way to spend the weekend! A nice brunch at a restaurant then the rest of the day sitting still.

    • Wannabe Runner

      Sounds like y’all need hobbies! :)

      Join a local soccer team, book club, fire department. Go to the museum.

      Take a “Sunday Funday” and visit a historical site a few hours away.

    • Anon in NYC

      My average weekend (especially in the winter) is working out, errands, the farmers market (more often in the summer), and then sitting on the couch, occasionally going out to dinner. I’m perfectly happy with this! But when I feel like we’re in a rut I try to shake things up – we’ll try cooking a new recipe, or we’ll try something new like a restaurant (best ramen, best hot dog, whatever. It doesn’t have to be fancy), afternoon tea, matinees, etc. Also, one of the things I love to do is go to the movies at 11am. At the movie theaters by us they give you a discount if you’re in before noon. Also, check out Groupon for your area. Sometimes that’s a good way to just get out of the house.

    • ExcelNinja

      We usually:

      – work on projects (I am trying to organize/tag 12 years of digital photos right now, he is taking 2 classes so often works on homework, or we clean/work on our bikes, or do something for the apartment)
      – go do something active, usually a hike or bike ride, or run around the park playing catch. gym is a last resort. we live in California so we try to spend the daytime hours outside if possible.
      – wash the car
      – watch a movie or catch up on a favourite tv series
      – Skype/FaceTime far away family
      – do something social – usually dinner or board games with friends
      – do something cultural – visit one of the cool sites around our city (we went to an observatory a few months ago which was super awesome!)

    • op

      Thanks ya’ll! I think we’re just in a rut because it’s been so cold where we are that we are getting a bit of cabin fever! In the summer we do tons of outdoor activities, but we don’t have too many indoor hobbies and we get antsy sitting around watching tv/ movies.

      • Senior Attorney

        I like to do a lot of cooking on those quiet weekends so I have nice healthy food for the busy week ahead!

    • cbackson

      Oh man. I’ve lately been feeling like I need to block off a weekend for doing nothing, but I’m usually running myself ragged. Morning running group, afternoon tennis practice or a match, yoga, church, volunteering, and work fill the time up pretty quickly.

    • ss

      I go to the market Sat morning, cook all afternoon (maybe take a conference call or two), then friends and family come over and we eat the outcome for dinner. Been doing this for years, entertaining at home is something both my husband and I enjoy, and an important means of keeping in touch with the people we love despite very hectic work and travel.

    • AN

      If I were you, I’d use this time to pick up new stuff. I wish I had done more of that when we didn’t have kids.

      Speaks the mum who learnt butterfly & front crawl in the last 6 mths and is learning to skate now.

  6. Anon

    I’m slow to getting on board with these. It looks like she’s wearing a blanket, which I am not against the idea of, but it is something I wear when huddled on my couch in sweatpants, not at the office. I have trouble separating it from that setting.

    • Anon

      I get what you’re saying. A former co-worker had one of these and wore it frequently in the office. It was dubbed the “Executive Snuggie”.

      • hoola hoopa

        I currently keep a multicolored afghan on my lap at my office, so I thought this would be a huge step up. :) EXACTLY like an “Executive Snuggie”, LOL.

    • Yup

      I have a wool throw (technically an arisaid, traditional Scottish women’s version of the great kilt) that I wear as a cape/throw all the time. When it’s folded as a shawl or even an oversized scarf, it looks normal, but once I unfold it, people ask, “Is that a blanket?” Yes. It is absolutely a blanket that’s just small enough to wear as a shawl. I am 100% ok with this, because it’s WARM.

  7. anon girl

    Just had my interview postponed and told they would reschedule due to the bad weather in the Midwest. I was all dressed up and ready! I would have rather gotten it over with.

  8. Birth Control

    I have been on a few types of birth control since I was young. I am debating going off BC just to eliminate unnecessary hormones, but I am worried about my skin (I had bad acne and still break out mid-cycle a bit), weight changes, mood etc because I have been on it for so long, I don’t know how I would be without it. I keep reading about how bad Yasmin in but both of my doctors (derm and GP) say it is totally fine for me, especially because I am low risk for blot clots anyway. I’m still nervous.

    I know this is an issue I should decide with my doctor, but I would appreciate any input/first hand experience from ladies on here.

    • preg 3L

      I think a lot of people here will recommend an IUD for birth control, and reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility and WomanCode for managing your cycle and working with your hormones (to address your weight/mood/skin concerns).

      If you’re concerned about your birth control, you should probably talk with an ob/gyn about it, not a derm/GP.

      • Anon

        I have an IUD (mirena – hormonal but low dose and allegedly localized hormonally), love it – went totally crazy (very emotional and would easily cry for no real justifiable reason) for the first month, but after that, its been about 6 months, periods are a little lighter and erratic with some super minor bleeding generally around that time (in addition to the 1 or 2 day period).

        Perhaps try a paraguard? No hormones and lasts longer than the mirena but it can increase bleeding with your period.

        • ExcelNinja

          I have a non-hormonal IUD and I’m actually debating going back on a low dose of HBC. It’s been about 20 months since I got my IUD and:

          – my periods are now about 7-10 days long, with 4-5 days of light spotting/light bleeding and 3-5 days of heavy flow. 1 day of heavy (advil-worthy cramps). On HBC they were maybe 4 days long and really light with no cramps.
          – I now definitely notice the swings in my cycle with my hormones – I get super frisky around ovulation time and super emotional at PMS time (crying at commercials/sad songs, being super grumpy)
          – I get weird random cramps mid-month which my OBGYN says is likely ovulation cramps

          YMMV but hope this helps :)

          • ExcelNinja

            Oh, and I did lose weight – about 20lbs over the last 20 months – BUT that’s probably not related to switching BC and is more related to moving to active, healthy-food California, which happened at the same time.

      • Birth Control

        Where I am we see GPs for general women’s health concerns, I would have to find a new OB (I saw one a few times when I was 16 and having cycle problems). The wait would be several months (probably 4-7).

    • Anon

      Oops, accidentally clicked report when I meant to reply. Sorry about that. I did go off the BC pill for exactly the reasons you described. At some point, I just didn’t want to be on the hormones anymore. I had originally gone on BC because of severe cramps and heavy p*eriods. I didn’t have much of an issue with these after going off. In the end I was very glad that I went off of them. It made me feel better to know that I wasn’t taking an additional drug/hormone that wasn’t necessary.

    • Wannabe Runner

      I was on BC from ages 17-31. It was one of the low-hormone ones. I went off for about 8 months in college, and didn’t get my period for like 6 months. That worried me. But when I went off at 31, I got it again within a month and started cycling again normally.

      What’s your main concern? Just trying to purify the chemicals going into your body? Or do you have problems with the specific hormones?

      I thought the pills were giving me clear skin and steady weight. Turns out my skin is fine off them too!

      • Birth Control

        My concern is taking unnecessary drugs. My current BC works well, I have no issues with it. But there’s also the point of “I don’t know what I’m missing’- what if my skin improved MORE off BC? What if my monthly bloating went away?

    • hoola hoopa

      I didn’t experience any ill effects when I went off. I lost weight, felt better, and my skin was fine. I was stupid and quit mid-cycle, which I don’t recommend, but my cycle was fine the next month. The duration of my cycle slowly moved to it’s natural duration over a few months and then was very steady. Hands down the hardest (only hard?) part was learning how to track my cycle without colored pills, which really isn’t that hard.

      I quit mainly because I thought it was insane that I was altering my hormone levels every day for what, convenient s*x? Seemed silly.

      I’d been on it for ~6 yrs when I quit.

    • anon

      I went off HBC after being on it for about 10 years. My acne came back almost immediately, so I went back on it the moment I could, and it took about 2 months for my skin to even out again. So I would say, it’s worth trying but be aware your skin could get worse. I’m dreading being pregnant because I feel like my skin is going to freak out :(

      • a to z

        Seconded. The minute I went off Yaz, my skin exploded with breakouts. I tried it for a couple of months and then gave up and went back on the pill. I’ve never looked back.

        • Wildkitten

          I went off bc pills, broke out, and went to a derm and was put on 3 separate other prescriptions. I am happy to have a super effective IUD and also clear skin, but it doesn’t achieve your goal of being on fewer drugs.

    • Anon in NYC

      I went off hormonal birth control a few years ago. I’ve experienced a few side effects both good and bad (or, at least less good). Honestly, the bad really isn’t that bad. I had terrible acne as a kid (accutane, all that), and my skin did not revert to anything close to that.

      Good: I feel like my drive has gone up (and this was particularly noticeable in the first few months).

      Less good: 1) I now have a longer PMS timeline. I start feeling uncomfortable 5+ days in advance of my period and I get cramps. I never had this on the pill. 2) slight uncertainty about timing of my period. I started keep track of it using one of those pregnancy apps so now I have a better sense of when I should expect my period, and when I’m ovulating (easier to try to avoid pregnancy, or not). and 3) I have noticed a slight increase in acne (face and back/chest). However, this could also be the result of an uptick in exercise.

    • Woods-comma-Elle

      If you are on a low hormone one, you may not have this problem, but I have an anecdote. I came off BC after 8 years on it (not to have kids, just because I was single and figured extra hormones aren’t great). I originally got it for acne, but after I stopped, I realised that it had made me crazy and I had no idea. I used to cry about everything, get irrationally angry – like seriously insane angry – and basically have constant PMT. I basically destroyed a relationship because of it, but I never made the connection until years later when I stopped taking it. Coming off BC was one of the best decisions I ever made as it made me way more chilled out, less stressed and generally just an all-around nicer person to be around.

      My skin didn’t go crazy, only a little bit, but age kind of had something to do with it, I think (I started at 17, ended at 25). It didn’t take that long for my cycle to go back to normal, unlike when I took a break at university when I didn’t have a period for 8 months.

      I guess the point is, why not take a break and see what happens? You would see the effects (or lack off) pretty quickly and once you have a frame of comparison, you can think about your options.

    • Anita

      I went off the Pill several years ago because I did not like its effect on my mood. The good: I felt less irritable/anxious and lost weight without trying. The bad: cystic acne breakouts for the first time in my life (I was ~30). Not wanting to go back on the pill, I went to a dermatologist, started a regimen involving an antibiotic/benzoyl peroxide cream and Retin-A. The acne cleared after a couple of months and, now, I get pimples very occasionally and they are not of the cystic variety. I have some residual scarring, which I hope to eliminate with laser resurfacing. Overall, I’m happy to have the Pill out of my life.

      • espresso bean

        Same here. Went off the pill at 32 and my skin (especially T-zone, back, and chest) went haywire. However, it was like that ten years ago before I went on the pill — I had just forgotten. Proactiv (which contains benzoyl peroxide) completely cleared it up!

    • Anon for this

      I have a different take on the Yasmin. I was on it for 3+ years until two summers ago, when I developed a blood clot (DVT) in my right leg that broke off and went to both lungs (PE). I was rushed to the ER since I couldn’t take a deep breath or do simple tasks (like showering) without gasping for air. I was fortunate that I didn’t have a stroke and more severe damage. There’s also nothing in my blood or family history that makes me particularly susceptible to clots.

      After that incident, my acne came back. I also now get PMS/PMDD, cramps in full force (most months), and bleed just like I did in high school — heavily.

      For the acne concern, I went to a dermatologist who put me a morning & evening regimen. My skin is now clear. It took about 3-6 months (I noticed immediate results, but it really cleared up totally). I no longer have to be as vigilant about doing the treatments, since I think my hormones are back in balance.

      As for the other “issues,” I take pain killers, make sure I’m taking my regular antidepressants, avoid making emotionally based decisions around the time my period comes (I highly recommend the Monthly Cycles app) and buy pads and tampons in bulk.

      • Cb

        I had a similar experience, I was on the 3 month pill, got a 10 inch bloodclot in my right thigh. Luckily they figured it out and loaded me up on blood thinners but pretty scary. No family history or clotting factors here either. I’m on the mini pill now.

      • Diana Barry

        I also got a clot while on the low-dose ones (lo-estrin?) – I had been taking them for 8 yrs. Lucky my dr caught it before I had any permanent lung damage. I do have a genetic clotting factor.

        My cycles regulated after I had kids and are now pretty short (5 days of tampax/pads). I do get PMS which is OK if I remember what time of the month it is. :) My cramps have almost all gone away now, and my skin is fine (got better with age).

    • bb

      I went off a few years ago after 10 years on. I lost 10 lb I didn’t want to lose, but over a couple years it came back, just not distributed the same way — on the pill, it was all in my waist, and now it’s not (which is nice). The pill hormones had also totally hidden a serious medical problem, which thankfully became apparent when my period did not return. This has now been successfully and permanently treated, so I’m really glad I went off the pill. For that reason, I would be very, very reluctant to go back on hormonal birth control again, even though without it I have terrible emotional PMS, two weeks of sore b**bs, etc. On the plus side, my skin isn’t so dry.

      • locomotive

        curious (although this is late and you may not see it), what was the serious medical problem? when i went off the pill, i didnt get my period for eight months! but all my doctor did was say that i needed to be on the pill so icould have a period.

    • Little Red

      Little over three years ago, I decided to get off Ortho TriCyclen-Lo after being on it for a few years for much the same reason. The first two months, my cycle was extra long, but afterwards it became regular. The second side effect was some hair loss after two months. A certain amount of hair in the brush/comb is normal but this was really too much. After about a month or two of lot of hair in my shower drain, my hair went back to normal.

  9. zora

    I tried the layered tights thing for the first time today. It’s super fun! I have opaque grey tights under patterned purple tights, and with a grey skirt and moto boots. It’s warm but fun and I got the idea from here, so thanks, ‘r3tt3s!!

  10. Newbie Investor

    Has anyone ever used Personal Capital? (www.personalcapital.com) It’s supposed to be a free “manage everything in one-site” setup for investment accounts. Features include: showing your asset allocation graphically to aid your decision as to when to re-balance, etc. Am curious what those who’ve used it think of it. Thanks in advance!

    I have accounts everywhere: Vanguard, Fidelity, TD Ameritrade, my401K, etc and definitely need to pull all this info together. I’m a do-it-yourselfer and really don’t want to hire a financial advisor.

    • MJ

      My first advice to you would be to think about why you have accounts everywhere. There’s really no reason to do that, unless you cannot move your 401(k). I consolidated everything to one provider this year (IRA, Roth, 401(k), banking, brokerage–all at Schwab) and I LOVE it. I can see everything at a glance, update address changes all in one place. They made it so incredibly easy to switch. I have done this a few times over the years (old 401(k)s from old jobs) and sometimes it’s a bit more involved. But overall…SO GLAD not to have to deal with multiple passwords, statements, etc.

      Haven’t used Personal Capital. I believe that Morningstar’s X-ray function (if you get the premium version) offers a similar “look-through” function to understand if you are under- or over-balanced. I am mostly a passive investor (except for my fun money), so I don’t worry too much about my allocations on a very regular basis (maybe yearly, sometimes slightly more often if one sector is on a tear).

    • BB

      I love Personal Capital, mostly for the gorgeous graphs and charts. I check it probably more often than I should. They really don’t give you that much advice/guidance, though.

  11. One Not Done

    Reposting from yesterday’s thread to get more perspectives (beware: kiddie topic!) – thanks Hoola Hoopla.
    I’m 35, have a toddler, was planning to start trying for 2nd this year, but I moved to a new, demanding and more senior role. Wondering how much longer I should wait till I start trying. Considerations: (1) I want to not appear uncommitted to this role, and it has a steep learning curve. Shouldn’t matter, but prior person in this role had 2 kids in 3 years and left, and I feel unnecessarily like I should distance myself from being that person once again. (2) I know secondary infertility is a thing, and family means way more to me than this job, and I do not want to wait until its too late. (3) I’m really nervous about the next 2 years because our first child was not an easy eater or sleeper, and I definitely was a zombie at work and coasting for the first year of his life. I struggle a lot without adequate sleep, and this new job is hard for me even with enough sleep. TIA!

    • TBK

      As for #2, it’s something that can really vary from woman to woman. You could consider getting checked out to see what your hormone and ovarian reserve levels are. It might give you a better sense of how much longer you can wait.

    • OCattorney

      Your second kid will probably be totally different than your first. And, likely easier, just by virtue of sort of knowing what you are doing this time around (at least that was my experience and that of several of my friends). The most important thing you said in your post was your age and point (2). Go for it. You will never, ever, ever regret having that baby, even if the timing isn’t totally perfect. You might regret waiting. But, make sure you have a wonderful plan for childcare that you can talk about loudly with your coworkers/bosses so they know you are looking forward to returning to work after #2.

      • Diana Barry

        +1. I would go for it whenever you want to TTC. Talking loudly about childcare really does work IMO (I have had 2 maternity leaves at this job).

    • saltylady

      My first was a nightmare baby (now an awesome kid), and my second was the polar opposite. Slept four hours at a stretch the first night home, 12 hours a night by four weeks old, with no efforts from us. Nursed normally, no breastfeeding trauma like with #1. Having two young ones is still very taxing though, but I’m a big fan of having them close together– which we didn’t do on purpose.

  12. Samantha - PSA

    Couple PSAs:
    6pm has some really good discounts on shoes (including Vibram FiveFingers from ~$26) – just ordered me some. Lucky sizes only depending on the shoe.
    Also, I got a really nice little knit blazer from a surprising source – Target. Search for “double knit stripe blazer” – got the red one with navy stripes on super discount, and its soft and comfy for weekend wear and looks great with jeans. Also noticed that oldnavy has a similar one in white with a navy stripe.

  13. Anon for this

    Here’s another embarrassing question: can anyone else advise how best to manage their exhaustion after seeing their shrink? I can only have a morning appointment, for a variety of reasons, and I only see her once a month. I almost always end up crying/sobbing in our sessions, though, and will spend the rest of the day completely exhausted and spent. I’ve tried napping, I’ve tried caffeine, I’ve tried combinations thereof… nothing works.

    • anon

      This might be a dumb suggestion, but I would talk to your shrink about this. I find my appointments exhausting, too, but I generally do them at the end of the day so it’s not a problem for me. I bet she could help you figure out how to manage your morning appointments. I would be surprised if it’s something she hasn’t faced before.

    • Samantha

      Could you move your appointments to saturday, or to a friday when you can work from home?

  14. Miss Behaved

    Have I told you how much I love working for a university? Just got word that we’re closed tomorrow because of the impending storm. Yay!

    Of course, I still wish I were in the Turks and Caicos like my parents. Their pictures are unbelievable. But at least I don’t have to go to work…

  15. Anonymous

    The main thing I noticed when I got off the pill was change in libido. Like what have I been missing out on for the last 10 years of my life change. Then I got back on the pill because my husband was worried about pregnancy and we weren’t quite ready to go there. Now I’m planning to go back off of it in June to TTC.

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