For busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional.
Back when we featured Another Tomorrow (a few months ago now) I could only find the brand at Saks — but NET-A-PORTER has them now too.
This navy pantsuit is a bit more sedate than our usual picks for Suit of the Week, but it’s so gorgeous I felt it was deserving. The seasonless jacket is “made using custom-developed merino wool that’s traceable to the brand’s partner farm,” and then blended with stretch.
I like the seams that accentuate the waist, the loose trousers, and the way the button is just sliiightly too far to the right.
(I actually wonder if there’s a second button underneath, making this blazer secretly double-breasted . . . hmmn.)
The blazer is $1490, and the pants are $690, both exclusive to NET-A-PORTER.
Hunting for something similar but more affordable? I’ve linked to some of our very favorite budget-friendly suits, below — for navy pants suits, check H&M, Banana Republic Factory, Abercrombie & Fitch, and Express. The last three have sizing up to 20 or so; Eloquii and Woman Within both have affordable options in larger sizes.
This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
Workwear sales of note for 6.02.23:
- Nordstrom – The Half-Yearly Sale has started! See our thoughts here.
- Ann Taylor – $50 off $150; $100 off $250+; extra 30% off all sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 25% off purchase
- Boden – Sale, up to 50% off
- Cole Haan – Up to 50% off select styles; extra 20% off sandals & sneakers
- Eloquii – 60% off all tops
- Express – 30% off all dresses, tops, shorts & more; extra 50% off clearance
- H&M – Up to 60% off online and in-store.
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off “dressed up” styles (lots of cute dresses!); extra 50% off select sale
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything; 60% off 100s of summer faves; extra 60% off clearance
- J.McLaughlin – The Sale Event: extra 30% off
- Loft – 40% off tops; 30% off full-price styles
- Sephora – Up to 50% off select beauty.
- Shopbop – Up to 60% off sale
- Sue Sartor – Lots of cute dresses on sale!
- Talbots – 25-40% off select styles
Other noteworthy sales:
- CB2.com – Up to 40% off; pop-up sale up to 30% off
- Joss & Main – Up to 60% off, plus an extra 20% off with code
- Tuft & Needle – Save up to $775 on mattresses (Reader-favorite brand; Kat really likes hers!)
- West Elm – Up to 25% off in-stock furniture; up to 60% off clearance
I’ve been thinking about that AAM post with the mid level BigLaw/Big4/something similar manager complaining about junior people having boundaries.
I’m midlevel at an agency, not as crazy as Big 4 but some of the same pressures.
I’m on a particular project that is a repeat of one done last year. Last year there were 4-5 people fully on it. This year there is me and one other person.
We’ve had a lot of work to do the last couple weeks. The deadlines on this aren’t particularly strict, and the client looks to us for what’s reasonable – so if we tell them from the beginning that something will take a month, not 2 weeks, they’ll be happy with that.
Some people at my company would just do it all themselves but I’m not doing that. I’m doing a reasonable (but still high) amount of work but not burning myself out on this. That means that they have to either put more people on this or let it take longer – either solution works. The team lead gives the client false soft deadlines without telling me, and then when I tell him that won’t work, moves them around. He acknowledges the deadline doesn’t make sense, and since he doesn’t do the type of work me/the team I’m on do he isn’t a good judge of how long things take.
This team lead is also pretty abrasive/rude and I think the person working on this project before me was more of a pushover than I am. Just this morning he sent a really rude, unwarranted message to a senior associate – to the point where I felt I had to apologize after. IMO its work everyone should be polite, we’re not trying to save lives here (I’ve worked jobs where we were!) and you can be firm without being mean.
I feel very reasonable, but is this like too out-of-the-norm or something?
You are 100% in the right here.
Signed, a project director
The team lead sounds like a Trad.
yeah, that feels like a very different situation, you’re not changing your work norms; the project has half the staffing it normally should.
And the fact that, with pushback, Team Lead and the client are okay with the slower timeline is evidence that you’re being reasonable — there are industries and projects where if you were short-staffed (temporarily, like half the team got hit by the lottery bus) you’d be expected to step up (again, temporarily) but this is not that
It sounds like the real issue isn’t the personalities but how project management is occurring. I work at a very busy marketing agency (so different industry but the same sorts of pressures). We live or die by mapping out the timeline and all supporting project points at the outset, building in schedule push points (if we don’t hit X by Y date everything from this point on will have a Y+2weeks or whatever update). You need a shared understanding of the schedule (with budgets for holidays, etc. and some built-in padding at the outset) with regular team and client updates on how things are progressing to those schedule push points. It stops anyone from making assumptions (well,” design usually takes about 2 weeks” or “last year this took us about a month,” etc.). At the very least, it should shut done the rogue communications since you have a shared reference point for everything. I also would think about some of the communications taking place. If someone is giving false deadlines, it’s usually because people want to know what the deadline is somewhere along the line and aren’t hearing it. Your client may appear to not care, but at some point this may change (may already have changed given the side convos) or you will hit a client where it does matter or frankly you’ll hit an unknown that throws you off track because it wasn’t planned (someone is traveling or on vacation). Having standard processes in place for how project plans and supporting schedules and their updates are developed will nip this in the bud. It will also make it a ton easier for someone else to pick up and help you guys (or step in if one of the two of you leaves). I’m a creative type and normally hate this sort of thing. But having seen enough projects rise or fall firsthand and (more important) the degree of grind on staff to accomplish things, I’m convinced it is well worth the time and discipline to build and maintain.
In my experience, hitting deadlines is rarely about whether someone is a pushover or not. It’s far more often about the processes of how deadlines are being set, maintained and communicated.
This. I HATE spreadsheets and building out project plans but it is so, so valuable. I now schedule a day at the beginning of a big project before the first stakeholder call to map it all out and th ebulk of our first team call is spent aligning on the plan – did I miss a step? is someone taking PTO/going out on leave/is there a big conference that means someone will be out of pocket for a few days/etc.
Frankly it is also catnip to senior folks – they loooove seeing a project plan and clearly defined KPIs/deliverables. Plus the person who develops it and proactively seeks alignment with leaders/the client on dates is going to be seen as way more trustworthy and reasonable if you need to push back on changing expectations.
>I HATE spreadsheets
first of all, how dare you
You can build all my spreadsheets.
~ Product manager
Keep on keeping on.
I’ve been thinking about how to have more fun in my life. Just curious – what are little everyday things you do for fun? A few things I’m doing: a few minutes of coloring or doodling during the day, putting on some music and dancing with my partner in the living room after dinner, picking a song I like on the way to work and cranking up the volume and singing at the top of my lungs on the drive, making pizza on Saturday night. What do you do outside of the big things like trips, etc?
Walking to a new bakery to get a fancy pastry, long wandering walks around my city on a sunny day, listening to podcasts like This American Life, yoga videos or classes. I also love watching Real Housewives, doing a face mask, and stretching in front of the TV.
Silly small thing, but the whole family goes to HMart to wander around with the express purpose of bringing home stiff that we have no clue how to prepare OR don’t even know what it is. We have found some really interesting stuff and it broadens our (already decent) food horizons as well.
I introduced my kids to a super nerdy computer game and now they like to play too. So we will play against each other, or just watch each other play, etc.
I love this! HMart is so fun!
Wordle every morning, finding a new show to binge, pedicures, naps on weekends, listening to Disney songs when I clean the house, treating myself to a Starbucks.
Artle every morning.
I like little challenges – trying every cafe in our village, going to different beaches, taking a photo of a certain tree throughout the year, baking my way through snacking cakes. And chill catch ups with people.
Wordle and Waffle
Walking the dog
Listening to music whenever possible
Watching my favorite shows over and over
Taco Tuesdays (at home)
Wandering around Target or Barnes & Noble
Themed napkins around every minor holiday
Wearing my favorite sweatshirts
Family karaoke night
Bird Watching! You can do it any time, anywhere. Even on busy work days I try to step outside for a few minutes and just identify the birds I was seeing. I used to think my area only had nondescript little brown birds, and now I know we have bushtits, chickadees, red breasted nuthatches, golden crowned and fox sparrows (seasonal), song sparrows, bewick’s wrens, house finches, lesser goldfinches, California towhees, spotted towhees, and hermit thrushes. I’m sure I’m missing a bunch.
Start with the Merlin app. It’s from Cornell university’s ornithology department. The app helps you identify the species, and then you get to click “this is my bird” and add it to your life list. (at this point, getting a new “lifer” is very exciting for me!) You counting birds like this helps ornithologists study migration patterns, so it’s actually a do-gooder hobby.
I have a bird that lives on my porch. Every evening we look for him (her?) as the sun sets and speculate on where he goes during the day and how he likes the weather. It will be bittersweet if he moves on when the warm spring weather arrives to make a proper nest somewhere.
This made me smile. One of my very earliest memories is being lifted (so I was quite small) to see the nest of baby birds in one of my dad’s spider plants. They came back every year!
Now we have a flock of crows around the house. We tried to make friends with us so they’d bring us trinkets. So far all that’s happened is they’ve trained us to put peanuts out whenever they start cawing. We … are not the smart ones here.
One of my life goals is to befriend a crow.
I love this story. You should look at a bird book, online, or the Merlin app to see what kind of bird he is and where that species is at various times of year. If he/she does migrate away for the summer, they might come back to the same spot next year. Hope he/she is enjoying the current weather!
Music is such a big thing for a mood boost! I play from a playlist of my favorites every day on my drive home to see what baby grooves to. (So far, Billy Joel has garnered the most positive reactions.)
Getting down on the floor to actually play with my dog. Walking the dog with an audiobook. A warm bath and my Kindle. Religious observations of inside jokes with my husband (always feels like our lives are hilarious and intriguing when I pay attention to this).
I have a Spotify playlist called “Pugs is Singing Again” and it includes a lot of Billy Joel.
Aw love that!
Mountain biking. I need the adventure and the risk to really tap into the fun.
Walks outside whenever there is a nice weather day, even when I’m busy.
Lots of novels, including random ones plucked from Libby or the library shelves.
Taking time to myself by leaving work before my childcare is done when my workload is lower.
The brand name sounds like the title of a James Bond movie.
Ha, it does!!
For legal people who follow this case: how is the student loan case likely to go?
I wish Biden had just extended the pause for as long as he could. It’s the interest that is destroying people and allowing borrowers to accumulate savings and pay down the loan is an epic improvement. Sure a few rich doctors aren’t paying but so what? People in their 20s doing doc review for $26/hour with $200k of law school debt are able to make some headway. New grads with $50k in debt and jobs at the mall are able to save and not have their loans explode with interest while they hunt for their real jobs (hope you all take my meaning).
Not to start a debate on the topic, but I’m in favor of low or no interest student loans rather than loan forgiveness. It’s definitely the interest that is overwhelming people.
pay back the money you owe, but we don’t need to be loan sharks about it. And if you don’t want to pay back principal, do one of those debt forgiveness programs, like teaching. I think there should be more of those, and I would support them enthusiastically.
In the long run, from a supply/demand curve, forgiving student loan debt just allows the colleges to keep increasing costs with abandon.
Is there a chance SCOTUS will somehow end those debt forgiveness programs? (Some people who have invested years in them are nervous.)
I feel most for people who went through a difficult time while interest continued to accumulate and now owe more than they ever borrowed… even after having already paid back the principal. It’s just too much. And bankruptcy isn’t even an option.
I mean, I don’t have trouble with loan forgiveness now, but it doesn’t solve the problem.
The majority will ignore the lack of standing and strike it down to further their own political ideology.
I didn’t listen in to arguments yesterday, but my understanding from the coverage I’ve seen is that Barrett is the only conservative who showed any real concern about the lack of standing (which won’t be enough)
Right. Standing is the basis that you have for bringing the case. The states are arguing that the businesses in their respective states that hold the loans will suffer disproportionately as a result of the forgiveness and the liberals (and Kagen) are saying “so where are the businesses in this law suit? Shouldn’t THEY be bringing the case then and not you, the state(s)?” To oversimplify in non lawyer speak. (Responding here based on previous thread question for non lawyers not a suggestion that this post lacks clarity).
The little bit of analysis I’ve heard is that it will likely be stricken because it favors one group (those who have outstanding debt) over another (those who don’t), and goes beyond the kind of executive action that was intended to be granted to a President during an emergency.
Re the Murdaugh trial. Why was the jury allowed to visit the crime scene? Is that normal during a case like this? I’ve never heard of that. I’m not a lawyer.
Yes, it happens, rarely, if the judge decides it would be helpful to the jury for a specific reason (like gauging the distance of something). The judge also needs to take into account whether the visit would unduly prejudice the jury.
I think the OJ jury did it. Not a good sign here, IMO.
I would respectfully disagree that it is a “sign” either way. Allowing a jury view is not an indication that the party requesting it is likely to prevail. If anything, in my limited experience (perhaps 5 views over 20 years) the party granted a site visit is more likely to lose than prevail.
As an aside for laypeople watching trials, or lawyers who have never tried one: One of my first trials (a bench trial), we lost every single objection. And plaintiff won them all. We were honestly trying to understand why our judge hated us so much and what we had done wrong. Then he ruled in our favor from the bench (i.e. immediately after closing arguments). A savvy judge faced with a judgement call will sometimes rule in favor of the party they think are going to lose to remove an issue for appeal.
It is not at all common but there are rules that allow what is commonly referred to as a “jury view”. These requests are rarely granted (they are expensive and time consuming), but it is not unheard of. In this case, the defense requested it to allow the jury to see the distance between the various areas at issue and get an idea of how long it would take to get from one to another. They argued that the jury would have a much better idea of the layout and distances if they saw it rather than just having it described (which is probably true).
In granting the request, the judge removed one potential issue of appeal in the event of a conviction, which may have been why it was allowed!
I want to get really into thought work this year. I am an anxious, depressive person with a history of pretty severe mental illness. I have done a lot of work to now be high-functional and enjoy life (and to present as a run-of-the mill worrier instead of an actual crazy person). But with therapy, I’m becoming increasingly aware of thought patterns that are pretty limiting and messed up. I have a lot of beliefs about men especially that stem from trauma and make romantic relationships with men incredibly fraught (oscillating between overwhelming anxiety and bouts of rage that come out in passive aggressive ways). Also just lots of deep self esteem issues, competitiveness, black and white thinking, score-keeping, constantly trying to calculate and quantify things that can’t be quantified (how good am I, am I good enough, am I making the right choices, there must be a right choice and how do I know if I’m making it).
I’m feeling like an hour of therapy a week isn’t enough to really rewire all of these thought patterns, and I’m looking for more involved and engaged ways to really work on trying to dig into them. Does anyone have experience with trying to work on this? Any book or resource recommendations? I feel like I almost want to take a 6 week all-day intensive program to just finally get rid of the mess in my head.
EMDR was really helpful for rewiring thought patterns for me! My friend who’s a therapist recommended it to me as being proven to help people with anxiety. I was skeptical but ended up loving it. You do have to do it with a therapist, but it “clears” those negative thought patterns.
I did EMDR for anxiety and it was helpful. Not a miracle, but different enough from CBT that it sort of picks up where CBT leaves off. I also liked that it had an endpoint.
Are you on medication? Mood instability is really destructive to relationships, and to being a good parent if you are planning on children down the road.
Good for you on looking for more options.
Also recommend EMDR. But, even with that, it is an ongoing process. I *try* to catch myself when I’m in bad thought patterns to recognize that I’m doing it, and then reframe the thought and/or change what I’m thinking about. The idea is over time you weaken the connections to that thought pattern and think about it less or rewire how your brain process that thing.
Any Chicago dwellers here? I don’t live there but I’m a politics nerd and kept an eye on the mayor’s race. What’s the word on the ground as far as voting her out? She only got 17% of the vote so definitely a resounding no from voters. This is apparently the first loss for an incumbent mayor in over 40 years.
Former Chicagoan here who tuned into WGN’s coverage last night. I’m not at all surprised that Lightfoot did not make it past the first round of voting. The other candidates were underwhelming which might explain the low voter turnout. I imagine she will rejoin Mayer Brown, but who knows? She has suffered some truly despicable media representations and near constant death threats, but she is supposedly a bully and a terror behind closed doors and the city was not well served by her tenure.
Crime was the #1 issue with voters (including Black voters) – by a lot. The consensus was that she was ineffective on numerous fronts, but particularly on dealing with crime.
What will be interesting is the result of the general election. Both candidates are Democrats – but one is a moderate who is running on hiring more police and the other is a progressive. The results are going to say a lot about where the electorate in the larger cities is going.
Sigh. We will never police our way out of violence. Unless and until we start to take early childhood seriously, the cycle of dysfunction and violence will continue in the next generation.
Crime seems to be the main issue. There were also just a ton of candidates (9 total?)
Vallas is strongly associated with the police, and Brandon Johnson is much further left. Not sure how crime/cops/etc. play in the general. There was a whole sideshow around Chicago FOP/DeSantis/Vallas by association because he was endorsed by Chicago FOP. Ready for it to be over.
The head of the police union is about as corrupt as they get–Google him. The FOP endorsement isn’t quite what it used to be.
I actually live in Chicago and I don’t think it was about crime all that much, although the car thefts have gotten out of control and the smash and grabs haven’t helped. I think it’s a lot more about the strictness of the lockdowns in the city that were really unpopular (I actually thought that was handled pretty well but I know I am in a very small minority). Business leaders HATE her. During the height, she was seen getting a haircut while telling folks to stay home–so that didn’t help. Police didn’t like the mandatory vaccination push.
I think the bullying comment is spot on with perceptions, too. She was caught trying to have high schoolers get school credit for campaigning for her. She also was portrayed as telling black people to stay home on election day if they didn’t vote for her. I think context might have gotten a little jumbled, I didn’t follow. But it also wouldn’t surprise me if it wasn’t.
Vallas was fairly popular and had some wins when he oversaw the schools. That helps a lot.
I feel like we probably squandered vaccine mandates on a vaccine that didn’t stop transmission all that well anyway. It would have been worth it if the vaccine had pandemic ending potential, but now if we ever get one that does, it doesn’t feel like we’ll be able to mandate it.
The vaccines prevent death and serious illness in most cases, far better than not being vaccinated. I know you’re trying to make a point, but you have to have your facts straight.
This is really an ignorant statement. They have saved millions and millions of lives and hospitalizations and long term complications.
You do not understand the purpose and benefits of vaccines.
Signed, MD PhD
Chicagoan here. No, this is not a backlash to strictness of the lockdowns. That is an odd take. Not much different than other major cities.
Not the original commenter, but the analysis I’m reading is definitely attributing crime and her pandemic handling as the biggest issues. I also agree with the commenter and think the pandemic vaccine messaging was poorly done and presented with too much certainty. Had there been some acknowledgment that not all was known and less telling people what to do, I think it would have gone better. As handled, it became political and that never should have happened. And I say this as a 5x vaccinated person so all for them but the methods of persuasion need work.
She was never the teachers union choice from the start and they actively worked against her throughout her tenor. 9 people ran. Something like 30% of registered voters (maybe eligible voters?) voted. The teachers union is a very strong voter pool.
No large interest groups supported her by the end. Between Covid shut downs (and huge fights with the teachers union on reopening), race issues and crime crime crime, no groups had any confidence in her leadership. She has led through an incredibly difficult time, and didn’t make any/many friends along the way.
I’m not sure what to do here. I have been in my current position for 2 years, and I really love almost everything about it. The problem is that the thing I don’t like is the head of the department. My direct boss is fantastic, the team that reports to me is fantastic, I adore the team we support, and I believe in the mission of the organization. And I’m really good at what I do. But the head of the department does not understand my team’s work, and has a narrow perception by which she judges it, which is inaccurate.
I have to present to her once a month, and it’s awful every time. We met yesterday, and even though I prepared everything to focus on her concerns, she was still dissatisfied. I’m starting to look for new jobs purely because of this dynamic, but then I get further from the meeting and am reminded how great the rest of it is. WWYD?
Any chance she could be leaving for another job sometime soon?
I wish! I actually have job alerts set up for the 2 or 3 places I think she might be recruited to. It’s a very specialized role in a prestigious institution, so the chances are slim for now.
Is once a month your only interaction with her? If so, I’d probably tough it out, weighing with the risk of ending up with colleagues or immediate supervisors who aren’t great if you moved.
It’s most of my interaction. There are occasional other meetings or requests, but those usually go well. The misperception is really around the fundamental work of my department, which gets reported out at the monthly meeting.
Your boss should help you manage this. Have you talked to her about it? Is she liked by the big boss? If she isn’t, then I’d look for something else.
+1 Given that you like everything else about your job, I would bring this up with your direct boss first before leaving.
Yes, we discussed it today. My boss has been an ally in this struggle, but has had the same issue with her boss for years, predating my arrival. She’s coaching me and stepping in where she can. But she can’t shield me.
If everything else is good, try to reframe it as “Jody is never going to be happy and this presentation will always $*ck, so I’m going to plan to treat myself the following day and be happy I’m 29 days away from the next round.”
I switched jobs last year due to a lot of frustration with the higher ups, and I wish I’d given more credit to the positive relationships I have with my immediate supervisor and peers.
This is what I keep coming back to. I have amazing, supportive relationships with literally everyone else.
I think I’m going to keep looking, but be picky. I have excellent relationships in my industry, so I can put out feelers and wait for the right opportunity. But if it comes along, the big boss will 100% be why I leave.
Yup. This person sounds like a royal pain but if this is only a monthly thing, I’d stick it out. There’s someone like this in every organization.
I would agree with these unless OP is in a relative performance/forced curve appraisal system. I used to manage a number of teams and my direct boss had a bad head about one of them, no matter how much I tried to prove to him how good they were. So when performance appraisals came around, I’d rate my staff fairly, but he’d always knock down the members of that team. I get that he was trying to fit his department to a curve, but I’d already done that within my group, so those particular team members were just getting screwed over due to his bias.
He was overall one of the worst bosses I’ve ever had, which was too bad, because we were friendly when we were peers and I thought he was good, but like the saying goes, he was promoted to his level of incompetence.
I eventually left because I couldn’t stand it anymore. I guess I am OP’s direct manager in this situation.
I’d love to get this group’s recommendations on two things:
1 – Things to do in Berlin. I’m going next week for 5 days by myself. I’ve got some ideas for things to do but would love to hear what other people have found fun.
2 – How to get calcium. Last year I somewhat suddenly developed a lactose intolerance. I used to always eat yogurt for breakfast and put milk in my tea and now I eat oatmeal and use almond milk. I’m worried I’m probably not getting enough calcium anymore. Should I take supplements?
I’d get your calcium levels tested before you start taking supplements.
I don’t think this is correct; can’t dietary inadequacy weaken bones even if calcium levels look fine?
Correct. Blood levels of calcium are not helpful for this. You need to actually do your own calculations for how much calcium you are eating per day. It takes some homework!
Testing blood calcium tells you nothing about whether dietary intake is adequate. Almost all of your body’s calcium is in your bones, so your body just releases calcium from your bones to keep blood levels constant.
You can google vegan calcium sources, but soybeans, tofu, beans, leafy greens, broccoli, sesame, almonds, chia, and a bunch of other things all have moderate amounts that add up if you eat them regularly.
Typical calcium supplements carry some cardiac risk for women. It is important to get calcium, but you should probably discuss this with a doctor or dietician in case some dietary change or supplement is safer than another.
What stuff do you like – museums, history, architecture, food, shopping? Where will you stay?
Why don’t you eat lactose free yogurt and drink lactose free milk sometimes?
I’m not a big consumer of dairy but you know dark leafy greens are a good source of calcium, right? Your almond milk is probably also high in calcium – you should compare the label info to regular milk.
I honestly get more than my fair share of calcium from heartburn chewables – I like Pepcid complete, and each tablet has 320 mg of calcium.
Unfortunately I’ve never been to Berlin so can’t help you there.
Sardines and anchovies are great for calcium, any fish where you eat the softened bones. Kale as well.
You want your calcium together with vitamin D, and K as well as lots of protein, for bone health.
Sardines really is excellent for all these.
Sooooo jealous you are going to Berlin! I went in ’91, so right after reunification, and totally want to go back and see all of the changes. I remember loving the Pergamon Museum (where they have the Ishtar Gate).
The best thing to do is do a little calculation about how much you get currently from your diet, without the usual dairy. It is quite hard for most people to get up to the recommended amount (?1200mg+/day) for women without dairy without being mindful of it.
See if you can add more of the greens, enriched soy etc.. things that you like to your diet that have calcium, and then re-calculate how much you are getting in a month or so. Keep in mind that so many things with higher calcium these days (enriched OJ) are essentially just adding a vitamin pill into the food item, so by “thinking” you are getting more food calcium by just eating food where they added calcium is really not different than just taking a supplement.
Honestly, as the trend away from dairy/milk happened, women’s calcium intake has fallen. It is very common for women to take a calcium supplement and there are many tasty chewable ones if you don’t want to swallow those HUGE pills that make me gag(!). And you shouldn’t take a pill with more than 400-500mg in it at a time, as you can’t absorb more than that anyway.
I eat very healthy and still eat/drink dairy and still decided to add on one calcium/TUMS per day. I love the orange cream ones! Make sure you don’t take it at the same time as you take iron because they each block the absorption of the others. And check each of your medications you take already – many meds tell you to separate them by 2-3hrs from taking calcium (or iron or magnesium or zinc). I use one of the drug interaction websites and keep a simple mini list of the meds/supplements/vitamins I take and whenever my doctor wants me to take something… like an antibiotic or new medicine… I add it to my list to see if there are any concerning interactions. Honestly, my doctors never tell me these things, but sometimes the pharmacists do.
Sure you should talk with your primary care doctor about it when you see them next in the clinic. Unless you have some unusual risk factors, they will probably tell you to start a supplement. Sure, it’s always great to get your nutrition from foods but certain things like B12, calcium, vitamin D, and iron for women are important enough and so commonly deficient that for most of us they should be checked/supplemented if needed.
In Berlin I recommend:
-getting a nice coffee somewhere in Prenzlauer Berg and then walking the Berliner Mauer Verlauf
-shopping boutiques in Prenzlauer Berg (Rykestrasse, Sredzkistrasse) and near Hackescher Markt (along Mulackstrasse, Kauf Dich Glucklich, Do You Read Me, Fete de la Boutique), or around Boxhagener platz
-Walk along the landwehr canal starting from Admiralbrucke going east/ get breakfast at La Maison
-rent a bike and bike tempelhofer feld, maybe get ice cream as Mos Eisley
-the jewish museum, pergamon museum, the C/O photo galerie, Boros Gallery (must book a tour), berlinische galerie, lichtblick kino movie theater, kino international
-the restaurant Dashi near nordbahnhof if you like japanese curry, mustafas gemuse kebap
* The Jewish Museum is terrific, but we scheduled a half-day and it really requires one day if you are going to be thorough.
* Private walking tours. I don’t recall the company, but we had a one-day private walking tour of “Communist Germany” and one of “Jewish/Holocaust Germany.” Our tour guide was an Israeli who was a Ph.D. philosophy student in Berlin, and he was fantastic. Highlights included various Holocaust memorials (the train station one stands out), the portion of the wall that is now an outdoor museum, and the museum about the period of East/West Berlin where we walked through a real passport gate from the time, which was really creepy. He gave tours in Hebrew, German or English, and I can’t recall if the company for which he worked was owned by a German or an Israeli living in Berlin.
* Coffee and cake every afternoon around 3:00 – very civilized.
* Day trip to Sans Souci.
* We stayed at the Titanic Museum (a Turkish chain) the year it opened, and it was great. Big rooms, nice bathrooms, great food, very reasonably priced and we had a Turkish spa evening in the hotel’s hamam one evening, which was great.
ETA: Titanic Hotel (not museum)
Replying late–my endocrinologist has me taking generic Tums for my calcium. It’s easy, cheap and like an after dinner mint.
I have osteoporosis and he told me that calcium gets pulled from my bones with the medication I’m on for osteoporosis so this is necessary.
For the morning post about focusing in long meetings – I’m currently doing a jigsaw puzzle during a similar meeting and it works well. Not bored, doesn’t take all my attention. So I think other similar things might work
Has anyone pushed their company or boss regarding the new state laws about salary ranges? My company is a very large global company with employees all over. They often hire remote workers—I am and so are most of my colleagues. Recent job postings have not included salaries even when directed as “west coast” people, unless the job is specifically in California/Washington and not also allowed in Utah or something. So they’re already not complying with the letter of the law.
I have a concern about my salary being an appropriate level because of how long I’ve been at the company/how many promotions I’ve had. My boss said she’s not allowed to give salary range (I know she can see it in the system) but tried to assure me I’m around the midpoint. Which I’d be fine with. But i feel like I could go to a colleague in California who is legally required to be provided that info and ask him or her to share. So why make me beg? It makes me suspicious I guess not really a question, just venting.
I hear you but even if they were complying, the way companies have leeway to report those ranges might make it useless anyways. If you’re unhappy with your pay, I would use whatever intel you have about your external
Market value and have a discussion with your boss about where you want to be (in a number term, regardless of the range).
It’s super shitty that your company won’t be transparent with its own employees. What a terrible way to run a business.
Hair question for those who are letting grey hairs grow out –
What do you do about the wiriness? I don’t mind the color at all, I am probably around 10% gray and otherwise have medium brown hair. My grays are mostly around my face.
What I do mind is that while my hair looks ok in a normal mirror, when I take a selfie I notice the grays are just poking out all over. If they’re baby hairs (and I always have a lot of baby hairs, I shed like a persian cat) they stand absolutely straight up, especially at my part.
I have been using Garnier Sleek and Shine serum and it does seem to help my non-gray hairs, but the grays seem to need more. Texture-wise, my hair is naturally wavy, the strands are fine but there are lots of them, and it’s about shoulder length except for a sideswept fringe and those %^&* baby hairs.
A friend is doing this and unfortunately it sounds a lot more short term upkeep. She has monthly deep conditioning sessions and I think her stylist is also toning the non-grey hair to blend it more evenly as the grays grow in. I know she also does straightening treaments (is it still called the brazilian blowout?) to deal with the unruly factor. Her stylist is a woman who does house calls so my friend is able to manage this all more easily but it apparently takes a fair amount of effort to make gray hair look good in the awkward growing out stages.
My mother is adopting the southern strategy of ‘just go white blonde’ which suits her but would look awful on my coloring.
I am going gray because I don’t want the maintenance of keeping it colored. I certainly don’t want to go your friend’s route, though more power to her!
All the moisturizing products!
I use a hair mask in the shower–put it on right after washing my hair, and leave it in until I’m about to get out of the shower. I also have 2 different leave-in products for moisture that I apply, and in between those I put my hair in a microfiber towel (to accelerate drying but discourage frizz). AND I have a scalp oil that of course oils up the hair closest to the roots.
This! My grey hairs need so much moisture, but I have to be careful, because a lot of deep conditioners are designed for damaged hair and add keratin which doesn’t help me. Recent additions to my routine are Drunk Elephant Silkamino mega-moisturizing shampoo and Briogeo mega moisture superfood mask. My hair loves both of them. The grey hairs are noticeably less frizzy and flyaway, and my hair overall is softer and shinier.
One thing I’ve noticed is that newly grey hairs have worse texture than established greys. So I get new growth that sticks out, feels rough, and has odd curl patterns. Hairspray on a toothbrush can hep tame these, especially along my part. But if one is really misbehaving I just pull it out. When it grows back, it’s as smooth as the rest of my hair.
I have found as a nice surprise that one of the L’Oreal shampoos I just bought that targets grey hair has helped calm some of the texture change/wiriness. I actually bought it because the purple shampoos help cool the brassiness of the grey but wanted something a little bit kinder to my hair than the Jhirmack shampoo (!) that I started when I had more greys.
L’Oreal Paris EverPure Brass Toning Purple Sulfate Free Shampoo and Conditioner
It is a pretty rich/moisturizing combo.
When I go back to my hairstylist I am also going to ask him for more advice, but this simple L’Oreal change was cheap and easy!
I have been coloring my prematurely gray hair since I was 19. Color doesn’t really help with the texture. You need to blow-dry it straight, chemically straighten it (those super toxic formaldehyde treatments are popular for this, unfortunately), or chop it short.
Thanks all. I use regular conditioner but I hear you about moisture. I have a few moisturizing mask products I should probably use more often – I haven’t been because my hair isn’t particularly dry, but maybe the grays are.
I really thought there was going to be some styling product I was missing out on!
To the person who plucks her grays, my mom always said “when you pluck a gray hair, three friends come to the funeral.” haha
Anyone have a bidet attachment (the add-on kind for a normal, non-bidet throne) that they like and recommend?
No place locally has them in stock and I am tired of ordering ones with good reviews online only to find they leak, the fittings that insist they are standard sizes are really not, etc. Installing and removing them is annoying and I really dislike being the person who returns something like this. TIA!
We’ve had the Omigo for a few years and I like it! Also has a heated seat, which is great for the winter. My husband and I installed it in about 15 minutes, and neither of us is very handy.
Honest question. I always hear from pro-bidet people that they eliminate the need for toilet paper. But how is that possible? Don’t you still need to be dried off?
People never explain how they work or where the poop goes or how they get dry.
I also have this question. I’ve stayed in hotels with bidets and I’ve always dried off.
Yes, you still need to dry off. I find that it doesn’t eliminate the need for TP at all, but the increase in cleanliness is so worth it.
Mine has a blow dryer but I’m too impatient. I still use TP.
We just have the one that was in stock on the Lowe’s floor – I’ll look for specifics for you tonight and maybe you can find it online. It was no problem for my (not a professional) husband to affix, but we were replacing the toilet at the same time so I don’t know if that changed things. But I love it.
I have a Tushy (and so do some friends). It’s worked great for me albeit I have the basic one and the water is brisk! I installed it myself no problem and I have little patience for home projects. It doesn’t eliminate the need for TP entirely, but drastically reduces it. I can pat dry after bidet-ing with very little TP and be good to go!
I legit miss it when I travel.
My parents have the Toto one from Costco. They liked it so much, they bought a second. My mom has a lot of GI issues and it has really helped with the ring of fire problem.
Toto washlet. We have had them for years and they are amazing. It replaces the toilet seat.
We have a BioBidet – heated seat, heated water with different pressures, and a dryer. My husband still says it it the best gift anyone’s ever given him. I don’t have the patience to use the dryer fully so I do still have to use a little TP just to dry off, but it has cut down on overall TP consumption for sure. We love it so much we requested a specially located outlet for a second bidet in our recent guest bathroom reno. The bidet itself was very easy to install, I did it myself in under 30 minutes and I’ve never done any plumbing before.
So I’m starting to wonder if I assumed I didn’t have anxiety and depression because I just assumed everyone is operating at a baseline level of anxiety and depression all the time and it only counts as a “thing” if you’re like, having panic attacks or unable to get out of bed or have to drop out of school or something.
Is this . . . maybe not 100% true? Like are some people mostly happy and mostly not worried most of the time?
In 2023, I sort of doubt it. However, it can still be clinically diagnosable and treatable anxiety or depression.
I am rarely worried about things, but this took years of therapy and medications for different time periods. That’s not to say I don’t have emotions! I do. I just don’t really worry about stuff (I also live a financially privileged life which makes a huge difference for certain anxiety).
I feel happy and not worried about things most of the time. Not to say I don’t ever feel sad or worry about things, of course I do, but my baseline is definitely pretty happy.
Yes- I’m mostly happy and not worried. This wasn’t always the case, but after 2 years of therapy several years ago I’ve been in a really good place. I do think some of it is due to an enormous amount of privilege, but I’ve also weathered a lot of stressors (mother diagnosed with early onset dementia and caretaking, working in healthcare during the pandemic, fertility treatment) much better than I have in the past.
Also adding- I never had extreme symptoms like panic attacks or the inability to get out of bed. I started therapy because I felt like I snapped at a coworker and realized I didn’t want to be this person any more.
Umm, yeah? I’m happy and not worried 95% of the time. Girl, get some help! What you describe is not a normal baseline.
I wouldn’t say I’m actively happy — that feels like the kind of thing I’d feel on a bright sunny day with lots of fun things to do in it, no deadlines or pressure, and no boring or unpleasant or distasteful tasks to do—and most of my days aren’t like that. But I’m generally peaceful inside. I feel stressed when under deadlines and pressure. But that lifts when the deadline lifts. I do not have a constant undercurrent of nameless worry or a constant stream of worried thoughts running through my mind. My body is not keyed up and tensed. I do not feel vigilant all the time as if something bad were about to happen.
How do you feel when you watch a Woody Allen movie (if you can overlook the issues with him and just watch the movie). There is a difference between neurotic and depressed. Some of us are slightly higher strung and have more imagination. Some people have zero neuroses and very little ability to spin or imagine bad things. You could consider them mostly happy and mostly not worried.