Frugal Friday’s TPS Report: Short Sleeve Crepe Sheath Dress
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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
Sales of note for 3/21/25:
- Nordstrom – Spring sale, up to 50% off: Free People, AllSaints, AG, and more
- Ann Taylor – 25% off suiting + 25% off tops & sweaters + extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 40% off everything + extra 20% off
- Eloquii – $39+ dresses & jumpsuits + up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – 25% off select linen & cashmere + up to 50% off select styles + extra 40% off sale
- J.Crew Factory – Friends & Family Sale: Extra 15% off your purchase + extra 50% off clearance + 50-60% off spring faves
- M.M.LaFleur – Flash Sale: Get the Ultimate Jardigan for $198 on sale; use code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Buy 1 get 1 50% off everything, includes markdowns
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- I'm fairly senior in BigLaw – where should I be shopping?
- how best to ask my husband to help me buy a new car?
- should we move away from DC?
- quick weeknight recipes that don’t require meal prep
- how to become a morning person
- whether to attend a distant destination wedding
- sending a care package to a friend who was laid off
- at what point in your career can you buy nice things?
- what are you learning as an adult?
- how to slog through one more year in the city (before suburbs)
I bought a skirt from this company once. It was not the greatest quality, but not terrible either. IIRC, the sizes ran huge.
Back in my junior high school days, my mother used to get the catalog and I think I bought a formal dress there once. It used to be Chadwicks of Boston, I think.
Same here. I think I bought an Easter dress there. I used to love their catalogues. I didn’t know they still exist.
I had my bridesmaids in dresses from Chadwicks, and was really happy with them. (This was a pretty long time ago, when every bridesmaid just wore matching long pastel dresses.) Very classic, basic formal dress, pretty color, much better price than you’d find on most other formalwear (IIRC, about $80).
Isn’t it funny how weddings have changed since we got married? I think it’s Pinterest’s fault. I got married eight years ago and had a pretty fancy wedding among my group, but it wouldn’t be all that fancy now (although I still think it’s perfect!).
I only got married 3 years ago but I only started on Pinterest a few months ago. And I’ve gotta say, if I’d had it when I was wedding planning, it would have been much different (I loved my wedding too, but man, the things people think of!)
Seriously! I can’t understand why it never occurred to me to use real colors. Weddings in 2001 (the distant past) had pastels and only pastels. Now, with bold colors, they are so much prettier!
I would have gone crazy on Pinterest. I remember spending hours browsing the early version of The Knot (with very limited pictures, on a dial-up modum). Sigh.
I used to buy casual skirts from Chadwicks. The quality is along the lines of Target, though I think Target clothing is a tad more stylish. We all know there are items from Target which are a good buy (and some are not), so Chadwick’s might be the same. The problem with Chadwick’s compared to Target is the shipping costs and cost of returning for items that might be iffy.
NYC Meet Up! Monday Nov. 11 at 7pm at Grey Dog’s, W 16th St & 8th Ave. Special invitation to ELLEN!
Oooh…. tempted to order this!
On occasion I realize I am slow on the uptake. Only realized now a guy I talked to last night was engaging in negging. I walked out on him and tbh this realization bugs me because if he hadn’t been doing that he would totally have gotten somewhere…. in retospect telling me he is working on his Masters in political theory and going “you have no idea what that is do you” was a massive warning sign even if it sparked a really great conversation. I walked out on when he started whining about how he doesn’t like DJs necause we aren’t musicians and ruin music ~unlike him~.
Once again considering catlady 4 lyfe.
lol
Walking out on bad dates used to be my main hobby. Women don’t do it enough. Bravo!
Thanks! It wasn’t a ate per se tho – i went to see a friend’s band, she introduced me to her friend, we got into talking. But if he hadn’t been pulling the negging crap, he would totally have gotten my number….
Yay! Fruegel Friday’s! I love Fruegel Friday’s and this dress. And now that I am getteing skinny, my tuchus won’t show as much in a size 2! Doubel Yay.
As for the OP, be careful how quickely you either 1) let a guy in or 2) dismiss him. In this particulear case, I am not sure if he is a jerk, but I NEVER let men talk down to me. After all, I do NOT know what you do, but speakeing personally, as a Member of the NY bar in good standing and as an upcomeing partner in my NYC law firm, I do NOT care if some guy is getting his master’s in Political Theory. In fact, to me, it mean’s he does NOT have a job, and I realy have NOT met any men makeing any kind of money with Master’s in Political Theory anyway.
When I think about it, I would NOT want to be married to a guy with a tweed jacket with arm patche’s smoking a pipe and discusseing political theory, do you? And there is no way a guy like that will be able to support me and our children, so I would HAVE to keep workeing so that he can smoke his pipe and wear a smelley tweed jacket? No way HOZE!
You were smart to walk away from a guy, who I now think could realy be a doosh in training! DOUBEL FOOEY! FOOEY!!! FOOEY!!!!
Oh my goodness, I agree with Ellen.
Thanks, Ellen! :D
By the time they achieve tenure they’re too old to be useful!
Even pre-tenure, they’re not useful. Give his jerky attitude and his career choice, the woman who marries him will have a fantastic life — she’d be expected to bankroll him while he’s negging and trying to scr#w freshman girls.
I get the impression that would be accurate. Amusingly enough it was brought up how almost everyone he knew when he was 18 has gotten married since then…. *snort* Gee I wonder why he hasn’t. being such a catch and all that.
Ellen speaks truth!
Ugh, that is the lamest :o( I’m sorry
Don’t be bothered, you missed the first warning sign, but you picked up on the second one, and got out of there fast! And yes, Bravo on the walk out. We can be cat ladies together, you won’t be alone ;oP
I figured the first one may have been a self deprecating joke gone awry but yeah after that while te vonesationw as interesting the whole “I don’t like DJs” thing.. yeah. I do have to apologise to the friend whose gig it was on the leaving without goodbye thing but…. yeah.
If she is a real friend, she will TOTALLY understand. blech. I am shuddering just thinking about this idiot.
Hope so, she’s known him since they went to school together and told me he’s a great guy… sometimes people have nostalgia lenses!
Ugh, political theorists. He’s probably just bitter because everyone thinks his research is nonsense.
Signed, person who studies real politics (and is apparently a total snob).
Best comment.
Co-signed. Political Theory and Political Economy majors are automatic dealbreakers in my book. Apparently I am also a snob. Also, I would end up killing them within a few hours, which is not good for a relationship.
I do party research so when they talk, I keep yelling (mostly in my head) ‘what about the actors?’ I don’t work with voters at all so I get my fix by dropping referendum questions at happy hours and letting people shout it out. Fascinating stuff.
HAHAHA. I think I love you.
+1
As a recent Poli Sci grad, this hits really close to home. My partner studied political theory and philosophy so I am finding this particularly hilarious! I need to share this thread with him now!
There are good ones out there! I’m halfway through my PhD in politics. I’ll be unemployed in a (hopfully fashionable) tweed jacket.
Ha, that sounds about right! He claimed what he was working onw as “mostly philosophy” so…. yeaaaah.
oh yeah, now I think all the ‘negging’ was partly his own insecurity that he actually doesn’t know what HE is talking about……. hmmmmmm…
you dodged quite a bullet, there, babe!
It could be, but on the other hand… he was wearing a hat with a little feather on the band.
So he was a wannabe hipster negger.
Even worse.
Walking out was a perfectly fine editorial comment on this d-bag.
The older I get, the less patience for this sort of condescension I have. I have, on occasion, when encountering people who talk like this, replied, “wow, you sound like a condescending jack@ss.” I consider not being liked by d-bags (or their hangers on) to be a Good Thing.
I basically stood up, said I enjoyed the conversation until he started disrespecting me and my chosen profession and walked out… I shudder to think what would have happened had i met that guy when I still had eff-all self confidence…
XKCD on negging: http://xkcd.com/1027/
I wonder what number rule of the internet is “There is always an applicable XKCD strip”? :D
+1
I’ve never had the guts to actually say that IRL, but now I will make an effort to use it the next time I am in a situation like this. I don’t have the patience for condescension either but somehow my mother’s emphasis on treating others the way you would want to be treated has stuck around, even with people like that.
Does Boston ever do meet-ups? I just moved here and am looking for some ladies!
We do. We haven’t done one in a while. But we used to do one on the third Thursday of the month.
If you send an email to boston[nameofthissite]@gmail, we’ll add you to the list. We could try to meet up on the third Thursday of November.
For Canadian r3ttes, I just have to shill for this suit from Sears, of all places. It is insanely well priced ($80 for the whole suit) and machine washable, and it looks quite good. Yeah, it’s poly. But the cut is flattering, and it does not look cheap at all. This is actually the perfect suit for those who need an extra for cheap, those going through weight loss or gain (material has stretch, plus it’s almost disposable at that price), whatever. No, it’s not going to be your new interview suit likely, but it’s great for $80. Frankly, it would be a great suit at $180 as well. I think the grey looks a little nicer than the black but both are fine.
http://www.sears.ca/product/jessica-md-canadas-best-washable-jacket/672-000900811-WF12-JE20-2700V
I second this. I have two of these and agree with the grey vs black. I have had them for several years and they are my “I have a feeling a meeting or event is going to pop up today, so I better wear a suit, just in case” go-tos.
I bought what I think was exactly this dress from Chadwick’s several years ago, and promptly returned it. The lining was very cheap and my skin felt completely suffocated the minute I put it on. Not just synthetic, but zero breathability synthetic. Yuck.
Ewww. Thanks for the heads up….
Ooh yes I now remember this being an issue with the skirt I ordered too. Double whammy because it was SEERSUCKER. Come on. The whole point of that fabric is to breathe..
Bummer – it’s a perfect style for me and it’s inexpensive!
Same… and the lining was longer than the dress.
Threadjack.
I’m having trouble with a constant piercing infection. When I was in high school, I was oh-so-cool and decided to get a second piercing in the lobe of my left ear (that’s right, only one ear). I never wear anything in it anymore because — well, for obvious reasons — but it gets infected all the time. I never get infections in the paired piercings I actually wear earrings in regularly. It usually clears up with antibiotic ointment applied 1-2x per day for a few days, but I’m wondering what causes it to begin with and how I can prevent future infections. Thoughts?
If you don’t wear anything in it can you just let it close up? Could it be a metal allergy to the metals you are wearing in your pierced ears? (I get small cysts on my earlobes when I wear cheap metal)
It sounds to me like you should talk to your GP or dermatologist. Maybe they could use a stitch or glue to keep the hole closed until it heals over.
I’d say drop into a reputable piercing studio in your area and see what they have to say
This is gross, but this happened to one of my ear piercings after the hole got stretched out a bit (earing got pulled on–it hurt lots). Anyway, the only thing I have found to work other than antibiotic ointment was actually keeping an earing in it, but cleaning it daily. For some reason, when the hole got stretched out gunk was able to get trapped in it and the earing keeps everything out.
Threadjacking for advice!
I am a 24 year old who will be going into Biglaw next year. Ann Taylor has been my go-to for all my previous internship pieces, but I’m looking to bump my wardrobe up to the next quality/price level. What brands or stores would you recommend? I have conservative taste when it comes to the cut, style & material of clothes, but I love color and wouldn’t mind a little more edge/youth than Ann Taylor. I like the style of The Limited, but NONE of their pants or skirts are lined, which just doesn’t work for me.
Thank you!
This post may give you some starting points https://corporette.com/shop/shopping-guides/guide-to-basic-womens-suiting/
Don’t swear of The Limited for blazers if you love color. They are great quality for the price and allow you to bump up your selection really quickly.
The past few skirts I’ve bought from The Limited are lined.
Stuck in moderation for link, but look for the Guide to Basic Suiting on thissite.
I like Banana Republic for decent-quality lined pants. Their basics are pretty sleek/non-frumpy (just be careful with their patterns, they can occasionally trend old, although I haven’t noticed much of a problem with that in the most recent seasons), and I find that the cut of their suits looks a lot more modern (at least on me) than AT suits.
Also White House Black Market may fit the bill (although I don’t think they sell suits, so if you’re a full-business office, you’ll have to look elsewhere).
I actually just bought a awesome navy suit from BR recently. I never found their suits to quite work for me before so this was a very pleasant surprise. Especially because unlike so many brands that have been veering away from all-wool fabric (ahem .. theory!), it was 98% wool, and had no fussy details (which is what I love about theory). Just very classic and simple. The color is a true, almost bright navy so very easy to pair with other colors, even black, and it comes with both a skirt and pants option. I only wore it once so far but I’m hoping it means that BR has decided to make good quality basics again (fingers crossed it holds up). I think they basically redid the cut of their basic suit, so if you weren’t thrilled with it before, I would say give it a shot.
I should add to OP, you could also try Jcrew and Theory, which both have classic, modern lines but quality has been very hit or miss lately so I wouldn’t pay full price or buy a whole bunch all at once.
I think I bought the same navy suit from BR. I love it and was so happy to find a navy suit as they’ve been scarce in recent years.
So a lot of people who work in BigLaw still wear a lot of AnnTaylor, so don’t feel like you need to upgrade. I would say its pretty common at my DC BigLaw firm for all associates and even some younger partners.
If you still want to upgrade I would say that Ann Taylor/Banana are about the same. I would say Limited/WHBM are a step below rather than a step up, but agree the Limited can be excellent for some trendy pieces or blazers.
I think J.Crew is a step up. On par with J.Crew I would put Theory, Elie Tahari pieces, esp. on sale, and a lot of the less expensive lines that Nordstrom carries, like Halogen. Brooks Brothers would also be a good bet but the fit tends towards frumpy IMHO.
Thank you, all!
Don’t feel like you *need* to step it up – plenty of people in Biglaw dress in Ann Taylor, BR and J Crew (in my head these are all the same because +/- $50 one way or the other they are all mall stores. Maybe J Crew is a slight step up. J Crew is good for cardigans because they make so darn many of them), or, frankly, lower-end than that. However, if you *want* to start wearing fancy lawyer clothes, I would shop the sales at Saks, Bloomingdales and Nordstrom and look for Theory, Diane von Furstenberg, DKNY, and Elie Tahari. Other brands are Tory Burch and Nanette Lepore. I like Equipment for silk shirts. Basically go to the contemporary floor and look around.
There are two things I’ve learned in shopping for work clothes over the past 4 years: first, buy high-quality pieces, even if that means you don’t get as much stuff in the beginning. So keep a lot of your current stuff and watch for sales (you should be aiming for at least 25%-30% off) and buy stuff that you truly love. I wasted a lot of money on clothing that I ended up donating after a year because it wasn’t perfect, whereas I’ve had other things for the past 4-5 years. Long-term it’s worth it to invest. Second, button down shirts (unless they’re silk and drapey) are not meant to be worn by people with two bumps on the front of their chest.
As an aside, strongly disagree that Nordstrom’s Halogen line is on par with Theory or even J Crew – Halogen might be good quality for the money, but there is no comparing a $60 skirt to a $150 skirt.
Thanks for the tips. I also feel like I’ve spent too much money on clothes that aren’t perfect and I want to change that. I am certainly not getting rid of my wardrobe, but I want the new additions, however slowly they come, to be of high quality. I am also getting a better idea of how clothes should fit on me, and it seems like a lot of Ann Taylor is made for a curvier shape.
Well, this might be a good reason to get a Nordstrom personal shopper. You can use their help to make sure you are only picking out pieces that are absolutely perfect for you, plus get them tailored. And yet limit yourself to buying one new piece per quarter, or something like that, so that you are slowly replacing your wardrobe to one that works for you 100%.
Have you tried Banana Republic? I agree that it’s comparable to AT, but think the fit may be better for you. My go to is AT, because I’m curvier, and most BR clothing just doesn’t work for me as a result.
+1 to BR not fitting a curvy shape
If your bumps are on the smaller side, button front shirts are fine. They’ve always been a closet staple for me. BR used to make an amazing shirt with 3/4 sleeves that was a heavier weight cotton sateen and had a fantstic fit (feminine and flattering without being a skin-tight internesque disaster). But I still like their dress shirts. I find they have more shape than most other brands.
But going a step up from AT as a 24 yr old? Either AT quality has seriously fallen off, or standards have gone way up. I couldn’t even afford AT, J Crew, or BR until I was a biglaw attorney. Even at 35, I think that’s what 90% of my closet is (mostly from the outlets). The other 10% are Gap, Old Navy, and H&M. But maybe it depends on your city. DC is not known for its couture.
I’ll be in NYC. The reasons I think I need to go a step up from Ann Taylor are 1) all the elastine is pulling out of my Ann Taylor suit after far too few wears, 2) my Ann Taylor jersey-knit dress is pilling after only 3 wears, and 3) a lot of their clothes are following the visible zipper trend which I don’t feel is appropriate for my office.
Oh, yeah, AT suits. No good. They never have been. Mine are J Crew.
Cosign…I wear a lot of lovely button front shirts, but, I am not busty, so, there’s that. The key is to find one that are more feminine.
I miss that BR 3/4 sleeve button down. It was the only one that ever really looked good on me.
I am always so surprised to see The Limited mentioned as an acceptable place to buy work clothes. They’re so cheap in quality! Bad polyester, unlined, tons of sewing imperfections… I’m going to sound like such a snob, but I really don’t think The Limited is appropriate for women in BigField. It’s fine for interns and people in everyday jobs, but not professionals in BigField.
And I think Banana’s quality has gone to crap lately for women. The fabrics are much cheaper and the construction…ugh. I keep going in out of habit, but I haven’t bought anything since the recession probably, when they started cheaping out on everything.
AT’s quality has also been hit or miss. I find it’s varying set-to-set now. The merchandise they had out in September was SO cheap, I couldn’t believe it – fabrics, construction…inexcusable at their price point IMO. But October’s merchandise is better.
My suggestions:
1) For classic suiting, check Benetton. I hadn’t been in one in over 15 years until last month, when I was pleasantly surprised by their suiting. Yes, they have some pretty ridiculous casual clothes to wade through, but their suiting is professionally minimalist, very well constructed, with a bit of stretch, and LINED. I bought two that day and have worn the heck out of them in the past few weeks and been very pleased.
2) I live in downtown D.C., so I have access to some incredible TJ Maxx stores. (Metro Center FTW, local ladies.) Brands I love are Trina Turk, DVF, and Elie Tahari. Quality in those brands is top notch and the TJ prices make it affordable. Size down in Trina; size up in Elie and DVF.
3) Check consignment stores in affluent, professional areas. I’ve picked up vintage J.Crew 98% wool suits, beautiful suiting dresses, and a cashmere coat at one near me. I’m getting much better quality than I can otherwise afford new. Sure, I’m paying $100 for a used dress, but it was $500 new and its well-to-do prior owner probably only wore it a handful of times. (D.C. ladies: Secondi in Dupont.)
4) Loft is one of those stores where quality will vary year-to-year, but they’re doing well this year with blouses in particular. I’ve bought a number of pretty shells and blouses for under suits from them this fall. And of course you can’t beat the price. If it’s not on sale now, wait 30 seconds, it will be.
5) If you’re in the south, check the Antonio Melani line at Dillard’s. Suits are polyester, but darn good polyester, with sophisticated detailing you won’t find anywhere else. Their 100% silk blouses are stunning and I get so many compliments. At the end of the season, they’ll go on sale for $40.
6) Try J.Crew Factory when they’re having a sale. I’ve been pleased with the quality:price ratio on their suiting dresses lately.
Just a note on J. Crew Factory – their suit pants are not lined. Considering I can get suit pants that are lined for the same price (or less, depending on sales) at the Banana Republic outlet next door, this really put me off of J. Crew.
I agree with 90% of this post, but I will defend The Limited – I think, like Loft, it depends on the year. I bought a ton of stuff there for work when I was just starting out, and it’s generally worn very well for the last 4-5 years. I went back the following winter and everything was hideous and unprofessional. Took a couple years off and went back and bought two new pairs of pants a few months ago, and despite wearing them to death, they still look great.
Ditto on the Limited. Also want to add Lands End to this. I know people swear by the ponte dresses and their outerwear and such, but I’ve had to return every single order because the quality is so shoddy. So, so, shoddy. The dresses not only aren’t lined, their structurally unsound and I wouldn’t wear them to work unless it was casual friday.
I worked in retail for a year, specifically at the Limited. In my experience, the first run (the one they use for ads) seem to be better quality. As additional shipments come in, the quality, like the price goes down. No one would ever confirm this for me, but if you buy first run (which means full price) they tend to be okay. Not necessarily for BigLaw, but for fields where the cut is not too too…..
At times, I’ve found better quality items at the Limited than at J. Crew. In my experience, they have some great lined skirts and jackets.
I just saw your second post from yesterday… thank you so much for the Intyce resoling recommendation. I can definitely get to Old Town Alexandria to get them resoled for $10; that’s amazing! You just saved my favorite pair of boots!
-Traditionalist
Happy to help :) I had started to tell you about the location in the first post and then I was like oh what are the odds she’s in the DC metro area. That just won’t be helpful! I won’t second guess myself next time. Hope it works out as well for you as it did for me! I also tore up the leather on the heels of mine, and they stretched and repaired all that, too, and you can’t tell there was ever a problem.
I posted about this a while ago, but I *finally* pulled the trigger on one of the “washable wool” suits from Land’s End (with the current 25% off sale, it was about $200 for jacket + pants). Considering that the pants are advertised as lined, AND I can order the suit pieces separately (so different sizes for top and bottom, awesome), AND you can order the pants custom-hemmed, I find myself, really, really hoping this suit works out. I’ll report back if it does!
I have one of those long-sleeved Lands End dresses on the way, I am REALLY hoping it fits! Aahhhh!! fingers crossed for both of us!
I bought the washable wool suit in navy, and I love it.
Any pointers from here on particularly good products that I should consider from Bobbi Brown? I’m planning a consultation at Nordstrom’s. I’m 44, and trying to… look better.
Hoping not to spend a fortune on all new make-up. I am often disappointed with what I bring home from department stores after being pushed into buying things. Heard good things about BB eye liner. I am particularly interested in improving my eyes/lips routine.
Also curious…. for those who have long work days (eg. 12hr+), do you touch up make-up frequently? I think I look pretty bland by the end of the day…
I always feel bland by the end of the day too, and my ideal self would reapply blush after lunch. Of course, I never actually do, but I always plan to start. :) I do reapply lipstick frequently. I leave it sitting on my desk, so it is always there as a reminder. Also, for eye makeup, do you use a primer? That helps it stay on way better and fights the end-of-day blandness.
Thanks for this. My job is such that it is hard for me to get to a mirror and have breaks during the day. I don’t even really have a desk that I’m at (running around clinic/hospital all day and eating between patients if I’m lucky). I keep struggling with trying to simplify my make-up to the bare essentials, or doing a little more to look better but carrying around “supplies” and a purse/bag.
I have tried putting some of my BB/CC cream on my eyelids as a potential primer… since they are supposed to substitute for primer. Maybe helps a little?
I think I also have to get past the feeling that eye make-up looks so much…. like I’m wearing make-up!
I think BB/CC creams are generally too emolient to be an eye primer. I never thought an eye primer would be worth it and then I tried one (I think I got a Bare Minerals sample somewhere and eventually bought the Urban Decay one, but I don’t think there’s a big difference between brands). I was shocked at the difference they made. My eyeliner and shadow were usually virtually non-existent by the end of an 8-hour work day and now they.don’t.budge. I use a tiny amount on each eye – maybe the size of a pin head, so a small tube lasts forever.
Thanks – this is very helpful.
Do the consultation and ask them what they would recommend if you were just going to take one or two items home? If you want to focus on your lips/eyes, tell them that. I think I ended up with foundation and their little concealer/powder set – and have used the concealer more than I ever use the foundation (I’m really more of tinted moisturizer girl).
Good ideas, of course! Thanks.
Why does communication seem so hard for me when I’m at a make-up counter? I feel so inexperienced, yet when most consultants start giving me spider eyelashes that look horrific I feel like I can’t trust them…. I think it is also hard for me to transition from the department store lighting etc.. to what works at home/real life. I am almost at the point where I feel like I need to hire a professional.
While on one hand I suspect that the product they would most recommend to me is a more full coverage foundation, like you… a tinted moisturizer or BB/CC cream is all I can handle. Foundation just doesn’t hold up over 12 hours and ends up on my white doctor coat and just…. ages me, as none of my co-workers seem made up like this.
Gosh am I jealous of those blessed with good skin.
If you are not a foundation person (which is fine!) tell them that. Outline the beauty routine you envision – basic, with an emphasis on lips and eyes, no foundation but that you are open to a tinted moisturizer. If they try to talk you into a full foundation, let them know you are taking baby steps and aren’t ready for that sort of commitment. If they don’t listen to you, then walk away or ask for a different consultant. YOU get to decide what you want to try.
Don’t be intimidated by your lack of knowledge! Ask questions! Ask what the difference is between foundation and tinted moisturizer. Tell them the result you think you want and the inputs (time and products) you are willing to use, and ask if those expectations are reasonable.
Write down the recommendations and leave without buying anything because you need time to think (write down the consultant name if you want to refer to her when you come back to buy), or only buy one item and think about the rest.
The gel eyeliner is supposed to be really awesome & stay on forever so I’d try that.
OK threadjacking for a question about this: I don’t use eyeliner that often, so maybe that is the only problem here. But my BB gel eyeliner has totally dried out and is no longer “gel.” Is there a recommended way to moisten it back up? I tried using water but it didn’t mix well with the color.
This happened to me, too. I have a navy blue one that I use for special occasions, but I can’t use it any more because its all dried out.
My BB gel eyeliner dried as well, but just on top. I just took a brush and stirred the gel until it got back to the right consistency. If yours is beyond that, maybe a drop or two of moisturizer or even olive oil if water didn’t work?
Thanks, I’ll try that. It’s super dried out– it’s actually split in half if that makes sense. Like how you picture super dried out earth with huge cracks in it.
Thanks for this discussion. I am hoping that I don’t have to buy eyeliner every few months if this is a problem.
Also, Loreal Infallible makes a gel eyeliner in a pot that stays on forever. For $11 bucks I can throw it out every 3-4 months and not feel bad. Plus, free brush!
When you are using it, put it on a surface bottom up so it isn’t open while you’re applying.
Otherwise, a bit of primer or a tiny bit of eyemakeup remover and swirling around with the brush should bring it back to life.
I bought a Laura Mercier gel eyeliner about a year ago – the one in the little compact not the pot. It’s never dried out and looks great. Think all of you BB ladies should switch!
Use contact solution to rewet it.
I just wanted to plug Sephora’s consultation services — they don’t work on commission and they didn’t pressure me into buying anything I didn’t want. I walked in (after making an online appointment) knowing absolutely nothing (I missed those “play with makeup” years in HS) and they set me up pretty nicely.
I would agree with the sephora suggestion with this one caveat: if you’re just walking in, try to find someone whose makeup aesthetic you appreciate. I’ve always had better recommendations from someone with more natural looking makeup.
Serendipity! A friend and I decided that we are going to take a week day off and go to the mall, and we want make up lessons. I had been planning on going to Sephora – how awesome that they have online reservations! I did not know this until I saw your comment. Just made my reservation. It’s ridiculous, even though I am old enough to know better, I HATE talking to people on the phone to make reservations and things. This was so easy.
Hopefully I can go in and say, “I’m in my 40s. I’m tired of looking tired and washed out. Help me!”
I had a bad experience at Sephora. I’ve gone twice and even though I specifically went up to a person in my age group she refused to help and just sent me to a junior person. Even though I specifically said what I wanted. Bad experience, where she actually insulted me when I asked questions because her application made me look terrible….. “well that is just your skin… too dry/wrinkle/aging… ” Like… offensive.
I actually look pretty good for my age, but when you have a 22 year old with heavy full coverage make-up on who wants to do your make-up, just walk away….
I’m sorry you had such a bad experience! That sounds really awful!
Funny story: I went to a promo event at a store. They had lots of samples for this event and one of the stations was this stuff that eliminated wrinkles around your eyes, which I didn’t realize when I saddled up (free stuff!!!). Mind you, I was 23 at the time and (thought) I had pretty decent skin. When the woman explained what the product was, I said I didn’t think I needed it. Instead, the woman took a big glob, slapped it on the side of my head and sniffed at me, “this will be perfect for ALL of those fine lines around your eyes. You’d definitely need daily application.” Um, thanks?
My friend and I decided to spring for the “custom makeover.” You need to purchase $50 of product, which is fine because I figure I can always use it to buy the Clinique stuff I use. I know some people recommend going to a make-up counter instead, but I have no idea which brand I’d like best and I’ve never really seen a make-up counter lady with good make-up around here (DC area so: Montgomery Mall, White Flint, Tysons). I’m hoping to pick up some tips, but am not figuring it will be terribly life-changing.
I suggest using Sephora less for advice and more for getting the salespeople to guide you around the different options, and then getting free samples of a few. E.g. – walk in and tell someone you’re looking for a great tinted moisturizer that will last through the day. Let them walk you around the store to each one (organized by brand), show each one to you, and then ask for samples of the 3 you think are most likely options. Then take them home and try them out for day each before returning to buy the one that lasts best.
+1
This has worked well for me. It is how I now have the BB/CC creams I am experimenting with. I also feel more comfortable walking around and asking for samples at Sephora then I do at Nordstrom’s.
I love my Bobbi Brown shimmer blush. With foundation and BB cream as a primer, it stays on really well and does a lot to take care of the “blah” workday look.
Thanks for this – is it powder or cream?
It’s a powder. Sorry, should have specified!
But since it looks like you’re kind of nervous about having a consult, based on your posts above, I just wanted to say I had a really great experience with the salesgirl at Bobbi Brown. I admitted upfront that I didn’t know a ton about makeup, and she was soooo patient about walking me through all of the blush options. She let me test a ton and gave me honest feedback about what worked, and what didn’t. So I hope you have an equally-good experience!
I liked their eyeshadow. Also, the small Bobbi Brown eyeliner brush is awesome
Thanks for this. I also liked their eyeshadow, but I hate how they don’t offer more small palattes so you can figure out what you like/experiment. They have these seasonal palattes that then disappear.
Similar to this thread, can anyone recommend a good highlighter? I’m looking for something to give me a bit of a glow, but without the glitter. I have fair, sensitive, porcelain-like skin. Thanks!
I have the one from Benefit — received it as a free sample. It’s definitely on the “glow” side vice the sparkle and stays on.
I rarely bother because by the end of the day there is no one here to see me.. I just make sure I don’t have raccoon eyes.
ha ha… I appreciate your comment!
Up until now, I am so tired by late in the day that my attitude has always been…. “I couldn’t care less about what people think of my appearance…”
And then I stumble upon a mirror… oh, goodness ;)
The only thing I touch up is my undereye area. I find that when color wears off there i look very very tired. I try to gently remove any eye make up that’s ended up down there, and then just use a cheap covergirl compact to cover that area again.
If you wear lipstick, that seems easily refreshed. Everything else seems too much work to refresh at work.
Their powder blush lasts all day.
I have the gel eyeliner but it is too much work for me so I don’t use it.
The BB shimmer brick is awesome, but I only use it on the weekends/nights.
Their eyeshadow palettes at the holiday time are lovely.
I work 12+ days, and I don’t touch up makeup. Partly because the people who are seeing me on the 12th+ hour are not looking fresh as a daisy themselves! I’ve typically transitioned to putting my feet up or wearing comfy shoes by that point. And I also like to go splash water on my face/eyes late in the evening to feel less tired.
However, I do touch up lipstick and lip balm frequently during the day. I also leave it sitting out so I remember, and my lips dry out so that reminds me. I use eyeliner and BB cream in the morning so that lasts me through most of the day.
Most of my make-up is low price drugstore, but the few things I’ve splurged on have been Bobbi brown.
I love their concealer–it’s the only one that actually works for my eye-bags.
For eyeliner, I found the gel stuff ok but it was a bit of a pain to get on. I use one of their eyeliner brushes dampened and with eyeshadow for liner. The brushes are pricey, but definitely worth it. The eyeshadow lasts forever and still looks pretty good.
Definitely the smudge proof mascara! What a difference it made not having to swipe under each eye by lunch. try lining your top lid, even if lining the lower is too much.
I have gel eyeliner in espresso and the BB brush to go with. Also lipstick and gloss. Like them all.
The package with my new boots (from Amazon) was stolen from my porch yesterday afternoon. Bummer. Never had a package stolen before but my newspaper disappeared twice last week. Could be a pattern. UPS declared it lost and Amazon is shipping a replacement overnight. Couldn’t have been better customer service between UPS chat and Amazon call. But yikes!
I’m honestly surprised this doesn’t happen more often. I had something stolen off my porch once, and J. Crew replaced it quickly. I was impressed with them too.
I just had a J. Crew package stolen on Tuesday, and my SO had prescription glasses stolen last week. From the main area in my apartment building, so it must have been a neighbor. It might actually make me consider moving if it happens again (apparently I value online shopping more than staying in my current apartment!).
Wow, sometimes people in my building accidentally grab someone else’s mail, but it’s always returned to the mail room the next day. If someone was regularly taking other’s packages I’d move too.
ugh, no FAIR! There should be especially bad karma for people who steal Awesome Boots from people’s porches! Glad you are getting a replacement quickly, though.
I’m suddenly wondering if you can find them on eBay. I doubt a thief is stealing boots for him or herself. Find the boots in your size on eBay, and check the seller’s location. Worth a try (though I don’t know what I’d do if I found the culprit, myself).
I thought of that! Could be interesting. Although I have a fairly common size.
Stolen newspapers and packages, yikes. A few years ago we had an NYT thief who struck on the big Sunday edition a couple of times at least. I started getting up extra early on Sundays to thwart him or her. My mother and husband asked if it could be an animal like a squirrel, which was such a ridiculous thought that it cheered me up.
This was happening a lot a few years ago and one of my neighbors witnessed it. Being a wacky old lady, she started yelling at the person. It was someone walking up to the streetcar every morning and stopping to steal my paper on the way. I live a block from the streetcar.
That’s one very literate squirrel!
Love the idea of the news-hungry squirrel.
If there’s one near you, you may want to look into shipping to Amazon locker.
This happens in my neighborhood a lot. If it is a pattern, you can have UPS hold packages at the UPS store, which usually has convenient hours.
I actually got a mailbox at my UPS store and have all my mail sent there since I moved out of my house. It’s pretty convenient and now I don’t have to worry at all about being home for deliveries. And they accept everything — FedEx, USPS, and UPS. I signed up for a year and it seems like it was less than $200.
I’m starting to annoy the guy in the mail room, but I get all my packages delivered to work. I’ve had packages and even pumpkins stolen from my porch (not carved, two weeks before Halloween, and they weren’t smashed – just stolen).
yeah I get everything delivered to work, but so does everyone else in my office, so I know it’s ok. I waited to have things delivered here until I was sure it was a common thing. If I ever work somewhere where it’s not ok, I think I’ll probably do the Amazon Locker or UPS store thing.
Our Central Receiving really hates having personal packages delivered to us at work. Besides, stuff takes forever to get to us! No Amazon Locker in my area :( and I would hate having to go to a UPS store to get everything. Not one near me.
Get stuff delivered to work or use Amazon locker. This is really common in DC so everyone gets stuff shipped to their workplaces. I’m lucky in that my apartment is in an old house, so no one but 1 of my 4 neighbors could be the culprit, but I still get expensive stuff shipped to work to be safe.
I’ve never been more glad for the group of older men who sit in front of the bakery on my street and watch the neighborhood. My street has a ton of foot traffic so I’ve been nervous about leaving packages but it hasn’t been an issue. The real issue is getting the delivery person to actually leave my package. I think the postman just comes by and leaves a slip saying they tried to deliver without actually bringing the package then not redelivering on the scheduled date but the next one. I was annoyed this week to get 2 Amazon Prime packages shipped USPS and delivered 2 days late.
Some years ago, I lived in a neighborhood in NYC where there were a number of older men and women who hung out on doorsteps, and it was lovely to see people in a stage of life when they weren’t constantly striving for a little more, trying to go a little faster, etc.
This is what Jane Jacobs calls “eyes on the street” and it is The Best Social Phenomenon Ever.
Well, the funny thing is that I have neighbors who are retired and are out and about with their dog a lot during the day. They know everybody and see everything. I haven’t seen them to ask if they saw anything.
But I totally know what you mean. When I first moved here, I was looking at an apartment, and I loved it that there was an older man who detailed cars in his driveway all day. He was the eyes and ears of the neighborhood.
Yup. USPS does that to me too, except the USPS person in my area is too lazy to write up a slip. Tracking would say that a slip has been left and that the item is available for pickup from the office. Of course, there is no slip, and the item is delivered the next day instead (while I am waiting in line at the post office trying to pick up a package that was never there). My Amazon prime delivery rarely gets here by the guaranteed delivery deadline.
The conspiratorial side of me suspects that this is someone’s (cough, USPS, cough) way of satisfying their obligations to meet the delivery deadline on the books without actually meeting it in practice……
Gah!!! The guy next door to me in my new office is very nice, but has a habit of MAKing WACKY STATements in a GOOFY carTOON VOICE!!! throughout the day. It is driving me BONkers!!!
It doesn’t help that the office manager has a clown-car-sounding type of horn alert on her phone whenever she gets a text/email/whatever. The combination means I feel as if I’m working for Barnum & Bailey.
Yes, I am replying to my own post. Just had a lightening bolt of clarity (when I realized that the sound of my Pandora music was irritating me) – I think I’m in a bad mood. Could it possibly be because my in-laws are on their way into town for my husband’s birthday tomorrow? Why yes, that would indeed do it. Last week, I set a personal best by managing to “ruin Christmas” according to my MIL, which is a new record, given that it’s only October! Gah again.
how’d you ruin Christmas?
We actually booked the airline tickets for the trip over Christmas that we’d been talking about. Every couple of years the hubs and I go do our own thing over the holidays. This is one of those years. We were never planning to be with my in-laws for Christmas (which was no secret) but it’s just my MIL’s way to make something An Issue for no reason.
do we have the same MIL?
I ruined Christmas one year and now I don’t have to go to Family Christmas anymore. Are you excused from attending now? That could be a win.
Ha! If only.
I love this idea. And my sympathies to Famouscait for having such a pesky MIL.
Please tell me exactly how you did that. Step by step. I’ll be forever grateful
Your initial post made me chuckle, so don’t worry about being in a bad mood. :)
+1 re working for Barnum & Bailey. I had visions of clowns jumping around your office with bright red noses, huge round-toed shoes, and mismatched plaid pants & jackets.
Maybe the next time your MIL tunes up you can (privately) imagine her in a similar outfit. This could be your nonverbal mantra/aide for staying calm while she makes unhelpful (hurtful, picky, argumentative, self-centered, peace-destroying, etc.) comments. Not that she deserves your staying calm, but there’s a benefit in NOT increasing the general aggravation, or revealing that her comments annoy you.
I think you might have met ELLEN’s soulmate.
When do you stop being so nervous on the job as a lawyer? I’m almost into my second year of practice, and I still worry about everything I do. My area is particularly complex and the statutes surrounding it are notorious for being confusing. So we often face a lot of difficult yet interesting fact scenarios.
I’m always afraid of making a mistake. With some things I do, I am confident because I’ve done it before so even if I do make a small error I know it’s fine. But I feel like I’m mostly being asked to do things I’ve never done before with little precedent and I’m so afraid of messing up. Often I’m being asked to look into things that are important to cases- i.e. if I mess up, it will be a problem. I worry if I don’t hear back from someone, there is a problem. I have gotten some compliments on my work, but lately everyone has been so busy I don’t even think there’s really time for that- it’s get this done asap please and thanks. No follow up afterward, but nothing negative, and I hate operating in a black box.
Is this normal? When do you start to feel like you ‘get it’?
I feel exactly the same way, with my fear added by the fact that any “mistake” I make could potentially hurt a patient. Rough, let me tell you…
It will decrease with experience…. at some point…. I hope.
And honestly, I think part of it is a personality trait. But if it becomes overwhelming so you can’t function/can’t sleep, then it is time for some professional help.
I was told that this “fear” actually makes me a better and more careful doctor. And this is true. However, it also makes life much more stressful.
In my case, I don’t think this worrying helps me. Confidence makes me do a better, more accurate job. Second guessing myself makes me paralyzed.
I wish law firms were more honest and willing to help people learn. I feel like it’s such a ‘sink or swim’ culture and you don’t know you’re sinking until it’s too late.
I’m not sure it goes away with regards to new tasks. I’ve been at my firm for over three years and still get nervous when dealing with tasks I’ve had no exposure to before and/or when working with new partners who may have different expectations. You sound like your confident when completing tasks you have done before and nervous with new ones. That seems completely normal to me. I think that it may actually be a good thing if it helps to ensure that you focus a little more (which is necessary, since it is new). Also, sounds like partners are coming back to you and haven’t said anything bad about your work. Both are great signs. Unless your firm is a lot different from those I’m familiar with, partners aren’t great managers but do let you know if they are unhappy. Sometimes, silence is a good sign. Having said all that, people with more years in law firms may have a different perspective.
Yes, I do get asked to do things from partners, but most of my work assignments come from senior associates.
We are really busy- so that’s why I don’t know if I’m being given things to do because I’m good at it, or just because I am the most junior at my firm and it has to get done. I have touched almost every one of our files and people joke that I am ‘on’ every file (I do have a couple of files I am dedicated to as well).
I don’t think you ever really do, if you’re good at it. The fact that you’re feeling more confident about things you’ve done before is a good sign. As for being nervous about new things, I’d be more concerned if you weren’t nervous. Plus, you’re only a year in! You are seriously a baby. If you were still so nervous and still doing completely new things when you’d been practicing 15 years, that would be one thing, but a year? I don’t think lawyers start to have any real mastery of what they’re doing until at least 7-10 years in (and, no, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that that’s about the legnth of the partnership track at most firms).
In the meantime, do you have another associate you can bounce things off of? When I was junior, my classmate and I had a “two dumb associates rule” (modeled on the “two partner rule” that required two partners to take certain significant steps on behalf of the firm). If one of us was unsure about something, we’d run it by the other. If we agreed, we each felt okay sending it up the chain. After all, we figured, maybe the hiring committee had made a mistake with one of us, but the chances of them hiring two total idiots in the same year was pretty small. That’s not to say a practice like that prevents mistakes, but it at least ensures that you’re making the kinds of mistakes that everyone will expect a second year to make and the kind they should have precautions against (e.g., having a more senior associate review it before it goes anywhere).
I do have a few associates I bounce ideas off of which is very helpful, although it jumps from me to a 4th year/almost 5th year so there’s a gap in there. I do also have a couple of senior associates talk with me about ideas so I figure if I’m entirely worthless then they wouldn’t be wasting their time talking to me right? ;)
I guess everyone sounds so confident in reporting emails or memos and I don’t feel like I am there yet, even with simple tasks. This morning I agonized over sending a 3-4 sentence email to all of the partners just confirming a result of some research.
Yep, sounds totally normal. Also, don’t listen to other associates when they talk about work. The people talking about themselves are actively selling themselves as super competent and awesome. You have no idea if they really are as confident as they sound, or if they’re any good. (Remember the people in law school who complained that, with so many call-back interviews, they had literally no time to do that special research Big Name professor had specifically asked them to help with, nevermind that application for a federal clerkship that the dean was practically begging them to apply to because they’d be a total shoo-in? Yeah. They also graduate and go to work in firms.)
Thanks TBK! I actually work with a lot of really cool smart people who don’t try to brag so it does come across as they are really just confident in their work.
And yes I remember those people from law school- brutal!
For procedural type questions like filing requirements or closing checklists, talk to a more senior atty or a paralegal. They probably have some resources that can guide you. If your concerns are more law/substantive research, remember, there likely aren’t easy answers. Even senior attorneys don’t know the answers for those tricky questions. So while you will get better at troubleshooting, it doesn’t necessarily get easier. The lack of “atta girls” is frustrating I know, but some people are better managers in that regard than others.
Yes, that is the problem- the substantive research (I don’t work in corporate). Everything is all so touchey feely (like I said, complicated area), when I finally get to do something that has a definitive answer it’s such a relief to be like ‘ah, got it!”.
“Atta girl”- that’s exactly what I would help me. Sigh.
I found it helpful to also run this sort of thing by your in-firm Managing Attorney’s Office — I don’t know if all firms have one, but I assume they do.
You should start to feel a little better sometime in the first half of your third year. Hang in there.
Many years ago, when I was a paranoid young associate, a partner told me “The best associates are often the most paranoid.” For some reason I found that extremely comforting and I remember it to this day. When I get nervous about work. Which still happens…
This is true – it’s the people who don’t re-read stuff before they send it out and go with what they ‘think’ might be the answer that most often get into trouble.
I have heard something similar, and I also found it comforting. It makes sense that being a good associate entails a certain degree of living in a state of fear/panic. It means you understand that it is important to do things the right way and that you realize there is a lot you don’t know, which means you will do the research/ask for help so that things actually get done the right way (as opposed to just doing what you *think* you should do based on your 5 minutes of experience). Any newbie that walks around thinking they know everything is both delusional and a liability. There is just no way around the fact that the learning curve for new lawyers is steep.
I am at the end of my second year/beginning of my third year in practice and I am only now starting to feel like I generally know what I’m talking about. Because I am more confident in what I DO know, I am now able to handle unfamiliar tasks/issues without all the anxiety. That’s not to say I don’t worry about anything anymore (because I absolutely do), I have just come to terms with the fact that it comes with the territory. If you never freak out about anything, you’re doing it wrong.
I don’t have much advice to give, but can definitely commiserate. I’m just finishing my second year of practice. I work in a very small, very busy firm and the law in my main practice area is constantly evolving and there is a lot of making it up as you go. When I do receive feedback on my work it has generally been positive, but because my firm is so busy there is not a lot of feedback given.
I still worry about whether I’m messing up and get nervous when I’m thrown into unfamiliar waters, but I think the day to day nerves are getting better. For me, being a little on edge helps keep me from making the big mistakes. I just have to tell myself that while the “good jobs” may be few and far between, if I really screwed something up, I would hear about it.
I think it gets a little better each year, but I was easily a 5th year before I really started to feel confident as a lawyer. I still get nervous when working on something new, but once you’ve done enough new things you will start to gain confidence in your ability to figure out the new stuff (so, when I’m feeling anxious because I don’t know what I’m doing I’ll remind myself of the last totally stressful and confusing thing that I rocked).
Also, I always felt like the other attorneys in my class were more competent than me until I realized that they just know more about certain things because they have more experience in those areas, but there were also things they would ask me about. For example, I had a friend who was really good at M&A, but would ask me questions about venture financing. I think the problem is that once you learn something it starts to seem basic to you, while all the stuff you don’t know seems complicated and like the people who know about that topic must be sooo smart.
Also, getting through your first screw up will also help. Once you’ve seen a few mistakes (both yours and others) you will be more comfortable with the fact that (1) they happen to everyone and (2) you can almost always recover from them. When all else fails, I remind myself that I’m not a doctor. If I screw up no one dies.
Heads up for Kat, posted the links for garter belts on yesterday’s Coffee Break. And I find that if the straps show through the skirt, the skirt is too tight. If they show under the skirt when you’re sitting, the stockings are too short and the straps are too long.
Thanks! Heading over to check that out. Do lined / unlined skirts make a difference?
I was working on a big case that was supposed to go to trial in the next few weeks. It’s been rescheduled to a time that is after my due date (I’m expecting), and the partner promptly told me that I would be removed from the case as a result.
For a variety of personal and professional reasons (the partner is a massive bully), I’ve been struggling to keep up with the demands of the case, so I was actually relieved to be removed. But I’m also ticked that I could be dropped from a case because I’m pregnant. Is that normal practice for litigators? I’ve been a transactional attorney and only switched to litigation this year, and it’s not how we would have handled a transaction closing after someone’s due date.
How close to after your due date is the trial scheduled? Is it before or after your maternity leave is scheduled to end?
If it’s something like you’d come back from maternity leave and go to trial a week (or even a month) later, you (a) won’t be around to handle the bulk of the preparations; and (b) won’t have the time to be brought up to speed before the trial, so it makes sense to me that you’d be dropped from the case (although it sounds like the partner is a d-bag for other reasons and handled the conversation really, really poorly) – it wouldn’t be fair to the people who spend the months leading up to the trial prepping while you’re on mat leave to have them pulled out of the trial in favor of you when you weren’t there to do the prep work.
Please note that I know this sounds harsh, but it’s not intended to be, and I’m in no way judging mat leave – in fact I plan to take advantage of it myself at some point – but I’m a midlevel litigator, and there’s a TON of work that goes into trial prep, and about the only “upside” of all of that work is getting to do (at least some part of) the trial itself. Having to do all of the work, then getting “benched” in favor of an associate who wasn’t there for the work (regardless of why that person was absent for the prep) would suck big time.
I get that, and it makes sense. The trial is rescheduled for the week of my due date, but I’ve already done all the motion drafting and arguments, all the discovery, significant witness prep (the case was rescheduled at the last minute), expert witness prep, and all the pleading drafting and pre-trial prep. And it looks like I’m still going to be doing much of the case prep until I go out on leave. So I guess I’m more peeved that I’ll have done all of the scut work, but won’t get a chance to do any of the trial work even if I haven’t gone into labor yet by trial time (which is highly possible).
In a transactional closing, we would just make sure there was someone who had the information to run the closing if someone went out on maternity leave at the last minute.
Trials are different than closings. You have relationships with the court, the witnesses, and opposing counsel that are important and can’t just be “covered at the last minute” by someone with the information. There’s also a lot of information that you basically need to keep in your head, because you need to be able to adjust 100% on the fly – you can’t take a two-hour break to check the documents that some other person left behind for you, you have to KNOW, immediately when something is going sideways and what can be done about it.
I understand your disappointment, but this is completely different from a closing, and the same rules don’t apply – if you’re going second-chair a trial, you need to definitely be there for sure no matter what, and someone who is seconds away from giving birth isn’t in the position to make that kind of commitment.
Honestly? If I were getting ready to try a big case and I didn’t know whether my second chair would be there on a day-by-day basis, that would totally stress me out and I would replace that person so I would know for sure who would be there. It would be nice to ADD that person to the team so they could take over if/when you went out, but it would be hard to justify that to the client.
I think you’re absolutely right to be disappointed, but I don’t think the partner is way out of line here.
Your due date is just a best guess, and a lot of people go into labor before and/or aren’t at their best around that point. It would probably be way worse for your case to have to switch attorneys midway through or have to keep someone on stand-by in case you go into labor early. I was in a similar situation, and I don’t think your boss is being at all harsh. The timing is the problem, not the boss (at least on this issue.
Have to say I agree. It is impossible to be sure you would be able to be at the trial, and it doesn’t make sense to have someone doing all the prep work who most likely could not be there to second chair.
You may have the baby early, and then of course you’d be out, but even if the baby’s a bit late and you are still working when the trial happens, you will NOT want to be sitting in court all day when you are 9 months pregnant, trust me. I was second chair on a jury trial at 4 months but not yet showing, and it was hard because of fatigue and always having to pee. I was first chair on another jury case that was got scheduled for about two weeks before my due date; I bowed out and just helped someone else get up to speed. It was a good thing, too — I ended up developing high BP, had to go on bed rest and then labor was induced about 10 days early. What had been my case settled on the third day of trial, which turned out to be the day I had the baby. I was in a fairly late stage of labor when someone from my office called and gave the details of the settlement, which my DH conveyed to me in between huffing breaths.
There’ll be other trials. And congrats on the baby!
I don’t think it’s fair to say that you’re being dropped from the case because you’re pregnant. You’re being dropped from the case because you will not be available. If you’re the junior person on the case, then I wouldn’t expect the partner to accommodate your schedule. It is rough that you did so much trial prep and will not get to see it through, but then trial prep does generally get left to the second chair.
OP here – I guess the silver lining is that it seems to be expected that someone will come in to relieve me soon; I really don’t want to have to suffer under this partner for several more months if I don’t get the benefit of the trial experience. I’ll inquire as to the timing of a transition and maybe that will make me feel better. Thanks all for the insights.
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http://www.mancrates.com/
Clever!
This is great- THANK YOU!
For an extra $10 they’re wrap the outside box entirely in duct tape. Needless to say, my boyfriend was extremely confused.
Enjoy!
Snorg. I think I just found Christmas present for at least one or two of my brothers. Maybe even my Dad.
There are three different zombie packages!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG, this is amazing. And they ship to Canada. I am definitely using this….
perfect! I was looking for something like this for a friend.
I have a similar looking dress from DKNY (a few years back) & my SO calls it my “Ferrari” dress -I don’t think it’s too tight but curvy body + fire engine red color + tailored cut = I almost never wear it to work anymore on any day that I need to look even remotely conservative (read: I wear it on Fridays in the summer when I’ve run out of other clean work clothes). Not necessarily a reason to stay away from this sort of dress, just something to keep in mind.
Love that your SO calls it your Ferrari dress. Great image. :-)
It is sweet but it has made me really self conscious about wearing it to work!
Any recommendations on a small humidifier for my office? I bought the small Homedics one recommended on here recently, but realized it’s making my office cooler and isn’t really adding all that much humidity to the air. I would prefer something that won’t turn into being a conversation piece!
I like this website for reviews/recs.
http://www.consumersearch.com/humidifiers
Most humidifiers are cool mist, if that bothers you, search for warm mist.
Embarrassing question and I don’t know if I’ll be able to come back today so TIA in responses. My feet overheat easily, especially when wearing socks/tights and enclosed shoes. Then, my entire body overheats/sweats and it’s digusting. This happens all the more when I wear boots. But, I love wearing boots and I get cold! Is there anything I can do?
Counterintuitively, I found that wool socks helped with the hot sweaty feet. Your feet are still warm but because wool has magical wicking/breathing qualities, they don’t get sweaty. Smart Wool socks are awesome, although can be expensive. Sometime Zappos has them. I’d imagine many department stores do, too. Also places like REI and Patagonia.
And, do not buy non-leather shoes. I don’t care if they say “high quality synthetic” (I’m looking at you, AK Anne Klein), synthetic shoes will make your feet sweat like a mofo. Stick with leather – leather uppers, not just leather lining and synthetic uppers, the whole upper should be leather.
Honestly, I keep nonboot shoes for the office under my desk. I love my boots and also get cold, but boots are too stuffy to wear indoors for 8 hours.
Botox for your feet? I don’t know if it will help with the overheating, but I believe botox was initially developed to help with overactive sweat glands.
Otherwise – what kind of socks/tights are you using? Synthetic, cotton, wool? I’d play around with different fiber types to see if something works better than others.
Enclosed shoes – make sure they fit, but that there is a bit of an air cushion between the shoe and the sock. You shouldn’t be cramming a stockinged foot into a shoe with no room for air to circulate. That may help address the sweating and the overheating issue.
I find shoes with synthetic lining cause my feet to overheat (Nine West, I’m looking at you). Maybe try some leather lined?
I used to be unable to wear any flats/pumps without hose or boots at all because of sweating/smell. I did swear by natural fiber socks in boots made of leather only and only worn for limited periods of time (eg. never all day at work). Shoe powders help, and even deodorant on the bottom of your feet helps.
But the best… when I finally saw a dermatologist for my life long acne, and she put me on spironolactone. Miracle…. my sweating/smell stopped, my hairiness improved, my acne went away. How I wish I had seen a dermatologist when I was a teenager.
My dermatologist keeps wanting to put me on spironolactone and I’m wary. Is there anything about it you didn’t like?
The only thing is I needed a pretty decent dose (100mg) to clear up my acne. At this dose, I just need to make sure I hydrate because spironolactone is a mild diuretic so I can get a little lightheaded rom super low blood pressure if I don’t drink enough. I am very skinny with very low blood pressure to start with. But honestly I NEVER drink enough, so it actually reminds me to be better.
I have no noticeable side effects otherwise.
And I love it. I can’t believe how big an improvement it has made on me…. My acne gone. My embarrassing “back”-ne gone. My chin hairs disappearing. My oily skin and oily hair gone (maybe now a little dry!). I never understood before how people didn’t have to wash their hair every single day.
So easy to try.. and stop if you don’t want it. Nothing to lose…
I really want to go on it but since we are TTC, my derm advised me against it! so just a word of caution that apparently it can be very dangerous to pregnancy.
But I’ve heard so many people with hormonal acne say it is a wonder-drug!
You are absolutely right that spironlactone is dangerous in pregnancy. It is a hormone and can affect development of the baby.
But it’s affects on hormonal/cystic acne has been great. If I even miss one day, I can start to see the effects…
I’m sure that this sounds weird and gross, but back in my band camp days (this one time, . . .) , I used to put anti-perspirent everywhere I was prone to sweating – waistband, crook of my elbows, back of my neck, underboob, and my feet. This was August, in Tennessee, and I’ve always been prone to overheating/dehydrating. It sounds weird, but it really did help the sweating, which seemed to help the overall discomfort of getting too hot, too. So I would give that a try if I were you.
I second this – I semi-rroutinely spray antiperspirant on the small of my back and on the underboob area, too, and it does make a differce.
Time for me to refresh my sweater collection.
Anyone have any experience with Boden Cashmere?
Yes, good quality, cut can be a smidge boxy and arms are a smidge long. I wear cashmere every day, and the best for the price are Land’s End and Lord and Taylor on the lower end, and Saks and Brora on the higher end. Avoid JCrew and Macy’s. If you can wait, all cashmere will go on sale around thanksgiving and get even cheaper the second week of December, especially Lord and Taylor’s. Bloomies has some good sales too, but their quality is hit or miss,, depending on the brand. Make sure the yarn is twisted well and it will be less likely to pill. That means that the fuzzier it is in the store, the worse it will wear. Good luck and be patient!
Wow, thanks!
I like Bloomie’s own brand, which is “C by Bloomingdales,” for cashmere sweaters. I have some from 3-4 years ago that are still going strong w/out pilling.
Not cashmere, but I’ve been fairly pleased with other sweaters from Boden (no pilling, hold their shape, etc.). Agree that Boden can be a bit boxy though.
If you’re looking for other ideas, I’ve been fairly happy with Saks store brand cashmere sweaters from their Off Fifth outlet. I have this short sleeve sweater in 3 colors (one from this year and two from two years ago) and the ones from two years ago still look great. http://www.saksfifthavenue.com/main/ProductDetail.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524446578970&R=402762705610&P_name=BLACK+Saks+Fifth+Avenue&N=1553+306589835&FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374306589835&bmUID=k7JpP7T
Thanks. Good to know AIMS. There is an Off5th about 2 blocks from my office….. I’ve avoided going…. lol
Not married to Boden, just noticed the pretty colors when placing a johnnieb order for my daughter
And I love Lord & Taylor-> for cashmere, but no longer live back east so ……
Oh, I order all of it online…L&T has a website, even though it was designed circa 1992 and has a horrible UI. I would sign up for their email alerts…you can get their V-necks and cardis down to about $50 in December (or lower) if you buy in multiples (which I do).
What do you all this of these boots (in the banana bread)? I think they’re perfect and I’ve been looking for boots for while, but I don’t know how I feel about the leather being stamped at the top…?
http://www.thebay.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/en/thebay/shoes/womens-boots/chipper2
In case you want additional options, Cap Hill Style did a roundup of cognac boots this morning.
Oh, I will check that out.
I think the stamp isn’t that noticeable, so I don’t think it should make or break your decision to get the boots. However, I think $275 is way too high for a pair of Franco Sarto boots. The brand is fine, but not super duper high quality or comfortable, and I’ve seen FS boots for $100-$150 at Nordstrom Rack even in-season.
They’re actually $220 right now (The Bay is having Bay Days..it’s like their annual sale), and I don’t really shop online for shoes from the US- my feet are too finicky, I never know if the size will be right, and I end up eating the shipping costs to return those that don’t fit, and even if they are “cheaper”, I have to pay shipping + duty. A pair of $150 boots from Nordstrom rack will cost me $200 and take 3 weeks to get here.
I’m quite picky about what I put on my feet, and they were comfortable when I tried them on in the store, and I’d say the same about my other FS shoes, maybe they’re just the right shape for my feet.
If you’re happy with them, go for it :) Shoe shopping here is not nearly as good as it seems to be for people in the US, and I think $220 is reasonable for a good, solid pair of leather boots. I wear mine (from Nine West, in a darker, redder brown) constantly and get tons of compliments. I kind of like the stamp!
The same boots are cheaper at Macys: http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/franco-sarto-chipper-tall-wide-calf-riding-boots?ID=997293&PartnerID=LINKSHARE&cm_mmc=LINKSHARE-_-2-_-21-_-MP221&LinkshareID=J84DHJLQkR4-TTC1U.xV13fKLzv4_OHboQ
I don’t love the stamp but it’s not that noticeable.
Nope, they’re $192 CAD, and with shipping/duty they’re $230, and I’d have to wait 3 weeks to get them, and trek to the post office to collect them. I’d rather pay $220, and take them home tonight.
I completely forgot that you’re in Canada.
These are similar for a lot less: http://www.dsw.com/shoe/corso+como+francine+riding+boot?prodId=294636&activeCats=dsw12cat1740002,dsw12cat1740052,dsw12cat1730006
I have these exact boots and love them so much. There is a *lot* of padding in them, which felt kind of weird at first, tbh, but now I really like it. They were also a tad tight the first couple wears but have broken in quickly and easily.
Yes, but they’re not wide-calf, and they won’t ship to me from what I can tell? That’s not true, they’ll make me use myus, which charges exorbitant fees, and if the shoes don’t fit, returning will be a huge problem.
Ah, didn’t realize you needed wide calf. I knew you were in Canada, but wasn’t sure about myus. I love my wide calf Bandolinos from DSW, but hey, if you like the Franco Sarto, get them!
I like the stamp.
Me too!
It took me way too long to understand this post. Why would a boot be in banana bread? Clearly it’s lunch time.
My reaction as well.
Me too – and now I want banana bread.
No thoughts about the boots but I want some banana bread now.
Have you found a new position? I know someone who is looking for an in-house attorney with contracts experience. you can respond here or email me at karenpadi at hotmail.
I inherited a bubble necklace from my sister, but I think they are kind of played out, anyone have ideas on how to re-do it so it is more “now”?
Can you take it apart and make a bracelet and a brooch out of it?
You may need to include other materials, beads, wire, etc. Not sure how craftsy you are, but this could be a fun project if you are!
I’m fairly crafty. I’m thinking of taking the bottom level off and the little danglies on the large beads and adding maybe like rhinestones or something in a different shape. Crazy perhaps, but I think that the bubble necklace has had its 15 minutes.
Yes, do this. I always play around with my jewelry to “update” it, and I’m always so proud when it works out well (which is not all the time). Your idea sounds great.
Could you shorten the chain and wear it under button-front shirts, so it acts almost as an ascot/scarf rather than Look At My Bubble Necklace?
Ladies, I think I’ve found my Gossip Girl replacement. I’ll admit the fashion isn’t quite as good and the boys aren’t quite as hot (and they’re definitely not Hot Shirtless Wade levels of hot), but it is a guilty pleasure and eye candy.
I started watching Reign on the CW. Yes, it’s historically inaccurate. Mary, Queen of Scots was older than Francis and she grew up at court, not in a convent, etc. But I’m kind of liking it. I like the costumes and the intrigue and the music. It kind of reminds me of the version of Marie Antoinette that Kirsten Dunst was in. Plus, Anne of Green Gables! Or at least the actress who played her…
I really want to watch Reign. I think I’m going to get so addicted, so fast. Not even kidding.
It is VERY pretty, I have to say. I really enjoy it visually.
Also, it very slightly sates some of my desire to see a TV adaptation of the Lymond Chronicles (come on, BBC!).
Megan Follows is Anne of Green Gables! And yes – she’s great. I love the show. I don’t care so much abot its inaccuracies – it makes me re-look up the things I want to know more about, and I just learn it then. Fun costumes, royal weddings – it’s great.
I’ve only seen the first episode, but I found it delightful in a totally CW sort of way — cliched dialogue, questionable acting, gorgeous settings and costumes and pretty pretty people doing stupid things. Hart of Dixie remains my favorite, though — the stakes are just so comfortingly low.
Can anyone describe the fit difference between the Halogen Seamed Pencil Skirt and the Halogen Ponte Pencil Skirt? I have the latter and love it – am wondering if the former will fit similarly and hoping to avoid return hassles if anyone here knows. Thanks!
I have recently lost 25 lbs. with the result that none of my current wardrobe fits any more. I plan to continue losing weight and anticipate dropping another size or two eventually. I am also on a major financial diet, getting straight with my credit cards and student loan debt. So, I have two issues 1) I need to buy some new things and I don’t really know how to dress my smaller self and 2) I don’t want to spend much money because of the financial diet and continuing diet-diet.
I am 38, now a size 8-12 depending on the line, I am an attorney working in a casual office (no denim is the only rule) but I prefer to make a little effort. My office uniform is usually blazer/blouse/slacks and flats or tights/dress/blazer. I have never been a big shopper but I love beautiful clothes and I always admire people who have that effortlessly put-together look. I would dress like Kate Middleton if I could. If it helps, I am slim through hips/thighs/butt and carry my weight in my tummy.
I would appreciate any words of wisdom about how to adjust my wardrobe to fit my new self without blowing the very, very tight budget.
Browse Target’s online clothing section, can be hit or miss but you can often find some great stuff there that will fit your budget.
I’m in a simliar position and am shopping Target (their skirts are pretty good right now, lined, knee length). I’m also hitting sales at other stores and looking for deep discounts. I’m also trying to stick to just one or two neutral colors so I don’t have to buy a ton of coordinating pieces. I’m saving my splurges for accessories and shoes and relying on them to make the outfit.
Check out CapHillStyle for yesterday’s post, Belle highlites an $8 skirt.
And as far as having a new body, I’m spending a lot of time trying things on and really deciding if I like items. When I was heavier I was very content that something fit, even if it did not look that great, I would buy it, because I was so hard to fit. Now I am taking time to figure out if I like the look of something on me, and if it is suitable for my lifestyle.
I don’t know what size you were previously, but it used to irk me that some stores did not stock anything above a 12, and I would have to mail order the items (Loft, AT, BR etc). Now I can shop in those stores and it makes things easier.
Thanks for the tips! It sounds like Target is where you will find me this weekend.
I’m Just Me, I’m just like you in that, in the past, if it fit, I bought it. Now, I spend a lot of time browsing sale racks (double whammy because “it fits!” plus “it’s on sale!”). I will definitely need to develop new skills now that I have more options. And yes, I love being able to shop in stores that carry only up to a 12.
And I am so getting that leopard print skirt for $8!!!!
Threadjack, please.
Longtime reader, first-time commenter.
I am a new attorney and moving to a firm that has given me the option of using my current iphone for business or getting a blackberry. Wondering on your thoughts, ladies? I have a zillion photos of my nieces on my personal phone and it would have to be completely wiped if/when I left the firm. Not a huge problem if I just back-up wisely. But might it be better to have some separation between personal and business? I’ve also never had a blackberry before and find them a tad confusing. But am I really going to be the girl carrying around two phones everywhere I go? I can always test and then switch one option for the other, but I just was curious on your thoughts, ladies, since I know a lot of you will have opinions. Please share!
I prefer separation, especially when it comes to calling/texting. My H has a “merged” phone, and has inadvertently texted messages meant for me to a coworker with the same first name in the past, because of the merged-contacts issue. Luckily it’s a small company, so she knew right away what had happened and laughed it off, but what if he’d texted the equivalent of “love you, shmoopie” to a client? Having two phones presents its own challenges – I have to carry them both, so no cute tiny purses, or sometimes I’ll accidentally leave my personal phone behind at home, since the weight of the Blackberry tricks me into thinking I’ve got all my gear with me already, but all in all, my “uh-oh” moments with the two-phone situation have had a lot less potential to be professionally embarrassing than H’s “uh-oh” moments with the merged phone.
I second the separation/two phone approach. I like the freedom of being able to leave my work phone at home during some events, weekends, etc. Plus my boyfriend has texted his female work colleagues with texts meant for me. I also just prefer not to have merged contact lists (my company uses a CRM which harvests your Outlook contacts) or the potential for the IT guys/ladies to see my personal emails, texts, pictures.
What’s wrong with a dress that, at full price, is $39.99? Why should it be distrusted? I just think its a little short-sighted to assume a dress that costs less than $40 should not be trusted for its quality. There are plenty (and I can’t stress that enough) of dresses that cost under $40 or even $30 that are of good quality. I, for one, have purchased many dresses under $20 and have often gotten sincere, genuine compliments from my colleagues about how nice they are.
In this time of economic turmoil, I think we should endorse the notion of being frugal and not down play items as being bad just because they are less expensive. Am I to assume that the $6500 earrings posted in the other section are super high quality? Should I trust it is great because it costs more than what most American familes make in a month?