Coffee Break – Apollo Hobo

109 Comments

1. Silicon Valley Corporettes, how about Saturday, March 24 for a meet-up? Then Ellen can come in from New York and not miss the St. Pat’s day celebrations.

   1. Count me in – I’d love to meet some of the women here (even though I lurk more than I post)!

   2. Do you usually meet up on the Peninsula somewhere?

      1. We meet in Palo Alto in September. It’s midway between San Francisco and San Jose, plus it’s accessible via Caltrain.

         1. Cool! I live in SF but I sometimes work in EPA and am often down there, so I’d be interested!

   3. Question–at the meetups, do you “out” one another, or just say “Yay, hello fellow Corporetters?”

      1. I was the first one there last time. I just watched for professional-looking women and asked each if she was a corporette. No biggie. I also told the hostess that I was expecting more corporettes–if anyone was asking.

         The restaurant was very slow so I was 100% accurate.

         1. How many people showed up? I’m not in that area, I’m just curious. Also, did you disclose your Corporette poster name? (Although I’m guessing your real name is Karen, so that was a little easier to figure out.)

            1. We had about 9 people there. Yes, we did disclose our real names and Corporette names (although I honestly can’t remember anyone’s real names, just C-names). It’s cool if you are worried about disclosing your real name but we were a very safe bunch and we met in a very public restaurant in a very public area (I do online dating so I take safety-when-meeting-strangers very seriously).

               I think some business cards were exchanged but not everyone exchanged business cards.

      2. We outed each other in DC.

         1. We did the same in Boston.

   4. It’s on my calendar.

   5. Yes! Lets all wear green.

   6. Love this idea, how do we find out details?

   7. Mar 24 is better for me. I’ll try to be there!

   8. I’m in!

   9. I’d be up for it!

   10. Sweet, thanks karenpadi!

   11. I’m in too!

2. I like this bag, but I’m not in the market for anything over $50, other than new glasses.

   I’m posting to vent. Over the holidays, I did a whole project for my dad’s 70th birthday, which is this coming Tuesday. I made 70 postcards and stamped and addressed them to my dad. I put them in envelopes with cards that I had printed up explaining the project. I sent them out to 70 people that my family chose. We asked that they write a funny story about my dad on the card and send it to him as close to his birthday as possible. While the card was signed as from the family, I did 95% of the work and my mother did the other 5%.

   Some of the cards came back early so my mom hid them. Today I learned that she’s still been keeping them from him. I’m really annoyed. The point was for him to get fun cards in the mail. If all she’s going to do is give them to him on his birthday, I didn’t need to spend over $100 and 4 days on the project.

   Last week I asked her to start giving them to him. Yesterday I learned she still hadn’t started so I asked her to start today. Now she says she’s going to wait until tomorrow, when my brother and I arrive. I’ve told her repeatedly that I can call and explain the process to him.

   I just don’t understand why she’s doing this. It’s not like she’s clueless about the project.

   1. Parents work in mysterious and confusing ways. Maybe she can just slip them in the mailbox tomorrow morning, so he’ll think they all arrived on his birthday?

      1. ps – this is so nice, and so nice for your dad. When my dad turned 65 I tried to organize a party and sent out invites well in advance. I invited 11 households (about 20 people) – literally only one household RSVPed on time, about half the people never RSVPed at all, and in the end, only 2 people (one household) came. My aunt who was co-organizing with me didn’t come. I was crushed and so embarrassed for my dad. He’s an amazing, wonderful, caring, guy, and his family just sucks. I have never been so angry and upset in my life.

         So, I’m jealous of your family and happy for your dad.

         1. Lawyer Bird, I totally feel your pain and anger.

            I had a very similar thing happen for my Mom’s 60th birthday. Only 5 ladies showed up. We had a nice little dinner, hiding all the extra food from my Mom so she wouldn’t know how many of her life-long, dear, wonderful but couldn’t be bothered to RSVP friends blew it off. I was livid, but fortunately Mom never figured it out.

            1. It was just so hurtful to see that people couldn’t be bothered to wish a happy birthday to the person I care about the most in the world. And he’d never had a party before – it’s not like this was an annual thing. Jerks!

         2. Something similar happened when my aunt hosted a MA graduation party for me. She bought tons of food, and maaayyybbeee 10 people showed up. I was SO embarrassed! And she had a freezer full of appetizers for months. People can be so inconsiderate!

   2. This is the best idea ever. You are so incredibly thoughtful.

   3. I am so sorry your mom screwed this up! I remember the day you first posted about this in December. I thought the idea was so cool that I copied it and put it in a folder in case I’m ever nice enough to go to all that trouble for a friend or family member. You gave him an awesome birthday gift–hopefully it works out and he realizes how lucky he is to have you as his daughter.

   4. you’re great for doing this for your dad. you’re also great for being patient with your mom, understanding that she too is very invested in this (even though she didn’t do as much of the work) and letting her handle it in her own quirky way.

      hope you have a wonderful celebration with your family.

      1. I did this for my parent’s 25 wedding anniversary. I stole their address book, sent emails to their friends and family and told them not to tell my parents. When I got the emails back from friends and family, I printed them and put them in a scrapbook I had made for them. They were really touched by it.

   5. I remember when you posted about doing this. I thought it was an awesome idea.

      It’s unfortunate that your mom doesn’t get it (or decided that her way of implementing your project is better), but I am sure your dad will still appreciate the work you put into it and all the messages from all the people that sent them in. It would have been awesome if it had gone as you planned, but if he doesn’t know that it got messed up, he’s not going to be disappointed. It’s still a great gift that he will love.

   6. I’m sorry the project isn’t working out in the way that you’d envisioned. I do think that your father will still be very pleased and touched to receive the cards on his birthday, so I don’t think your hard work was for naught. I am also pleasantly surprised that you have gotten so many responses – sounds like your dad has a lot of caring and thoughtful friends and family members, including you!

   7. Honestly, I think that this was such an awesome, creative, thoughtful and kind idea on your part that your Mom might be subconsciously sabotaging it because she’s jealous she didn’t think of it or deserve the credit for doing it =/

   8. Update: My mom gave the cards to my dad and I called him. He loves the idea. We joked that when he starts to lose his memory, he can look back at the cards to remember all the funny things he did.

      1. Perhaps your mom thought it would make it more meaningful for him to receive the cards when you were with them, because your dad would be doubly touched by the contents and by your lovely idea and effort ? But anyway, glad to hear it worked out !

   9. Late to the thread, but OMG, what a great, sweet, cool idea for your Dad!

      And wow, amazing self-control for not opening a can of whoop@ss on your Mom.

3. Did anyone go to the brown bag lunch today for the Woman Advocate Committee of the ABA, or plan to go tomorrow? The topic today was mentors and the discussion made me really appreciate this site and everyone who gives advice here. Thank you all for being fabulous mentors!

4. I’ve been on the search for a bag that size. I love the color (which appears to be unavailable) and the lack of a flap, but am not into the strap/belt.

   Does anyone do their own stock trading? Husband and I would like to invest in the stock market on our own. Our financial advisor can manage a portfolio for us, but on the $10k scale – whereas we’re thinking on the $200-800 scale.

   Is e-trade the way to go, or are there other services/websites? Any tips regarding fees, etc?

   1. Not to get preachy, but what do you want to invest your money for? What are your goals? If you already have a financial adviser, I presume he is advising you on something … do you already have IRAs, 401(k)s, other investment vehicles that he is overseeing for you? If so, what’s the motivation behind slicing out a few hundred for a separate investment? Or is this “fun money” that you’re using to just play the market?

      I don’t advocate investing in individual stocks anyway, but particularly for the amount you are talking about … trades can be $6-$25 a piece. Your capital will get eaten up before you see any kind of return.

      All else equal, if you really want to invest at the $200-800 level I would put all the money in a single no-fee index fund and leave it there. Every few months when you have another few hundred or whatever, you can add it to the same fund. If you sign up online with Vanguard you can access their (very low expense ratio) index funds for minimal or no fees. Same with fidelity, although vanguard’s expense ratios are actually lower.

      1. I second this wholeheartedly. I don’t know anyone who has made a substantial sum of money this way, but I do know people who have lost substantial sums (in proportion to how much they invest). You are probably not going to outwit the market, and even if you do, the “overhead” will eat up most of your profit.

      2. I also second this. But if this is just fun money (and your real investments are stuck in 401(ks), etc.), then go for it. Realize that, at best, you will be lucky to get your original investments back out once all the fees are paid.

         If this is fun money, instead of paying etrade fees, consider whether you would rather “invest” in some types of commodities. Think artwork, designer clothing, vintage furniture, or even rare metals that might (or might not) go up in value. It is probably just as risky as buying stocks on etrade, but for some commodities you might be able to enjoy them while you wait to see if they go up in value. Highly risky (you could spill red wine on that pricey mid-century modern sofa), but maybe more fun?

      3. All legitimate points. I should have mentioned that it would be more or less for fun. Obviously we’d be hoping to make some pocket money, but it’s by no means our larger investment strategy.

         1. Cosign the above advice regarding indexing or passive investing rather than active investing. However, I highly recommend Scottrade or TDAmeritrade for what you want. Both have excellent access and tools and reasonable trade fees.

   2. My husband and I play with an ING Sharebuilder account that is more in the range you are talking about (started with $500 and we add a little more every now and again). I am not as active with it as he is and don’t remember the price per trade, but it’s not bad. And you have the fun of doing our own research, etc. We consider this to be in addition to our investor managed accounts and retirement accounts. Just for you know what and giggles.

      1. Oh, I hadn’t realized ING had something like that. We already have ING accounts, so that’s definitely something that we’ll look into.

         1. Sounds like you mean trading – short term holds that you turn over quickly, correct?

            Check out the Turtle Trader and Reminisces of a Stock Operator to get a feel for how trading works, some technical lingo and the like.

            My ING Sharebuilder IRA account also has the option of trading stocks within their system. I am waiting for a side-gig check and plan to play the stock market a little with it for fun. Just saw that you have an ING account – you can find the option in your account tabs.

            If currencies at all interest you, you can set up a dummy Forex account for 30 days to learn how currency trading works, then open a real account after that. Currency requires that you pay a lot of attention to the market fairly constantly, so that didn’t appeal to me so much after a bit.

            1. The Complete Turtle Trader (by Michael Covel), rather.

         2. I agree with the boggle-heads above about investing in index funds, but if you just want to play with individual stocks, you can certainly do that through Sharebuilder, which is easily linked to your ING accounts.

            Just watch those fees which can be especially harsh when you’re working with less money (example: you want to buy 1,000 shares of stock X, and the trading fee is $9.95: you’ve added roughly 1 cent to the cost of each share in order to “break even”. Instead imagine that you want to buy 100 shares of stock X — the trading fee is still $9.95, so now you’ve added 10 cents per share. If you buy 10 shares, you add nearly $1.00 per share).

   3. I do this for fun, and I have to disagree, because I made a pretty good return. My rule is to not put in more than I can afford to lose (I think I only ever got up to $1000 of my own money in there). I ended up buying three stocks, all companies I personally liked for one reason on another. It was a fun hobby for me. I recently cashed out because I had built up the account to a number I was no longer comfortable losing (around 5k), and because it was becoming stressful. I never in a million years imagined I would make that and I probably couldn’t do it again if I tried but it was a fun experience. I used etrade, but I probably wouldn’t go with them if I decided to do it again.

5. I really like this bag but don’t have the money right now. Does anyone know if ebags runs these types of sales often?

6. I nabbed a silverish Botkier hobo on Rue La La back in November/December for around $80. I am in love with it. Just as Kat described, it’s thick, soft leather, not too heavy, a little rocker chick, and holds a ton. I use it as a quasi-diaper bag and throw in a change of clothes for my son (almost 4) who still has the occasional accident (hate potty training!). It fits the arm well, has lots of pockets. Love love love.

7. completely unrelated, but very exciting to me: i have an “emergency use only” suit hanging on the back of my office door. it’s a medium gray very basic suit that i bought at express my first year of practice (2007). i gained a bunch of weight a couple years back and have FINALLY buckled down and cleaned up my eating in the past six months. MY EMERGENCY SUIT FITS AGAIN! (and thank goodness i’ve had exactly zero “emergencies” requiring a suit in the last two years.)

   1. Any suggestions for cleaning up eating habits?

      1. i’ve been eating paleo. i like marksdailyapple.com, fitbomb.com and whole9.com for good, plain english guides on the how and why. cutting out grains made a big difference even when i was still having a couple “cheat meals” every week, but when i really cracked down and did it right (no more “oh i’ll just have tostitos and crab dip on sundays,” no “imitation” food products, cut out diet soda and artificial sweeteners, etc.), i dropped another 15 pounds or so pretty quickly and feel amazing. diet soda was the hardest thing for me to give up mentally, since i drank a crapload of it every day, but it did make a big difference (and i save an embarrassing amount of money not hitting up the vending machine a few times a day).

         1. I’d love to stop drinking diet soda, but I need the caffeine (hate coffee and tea in all forms). Anyone have alternatives? Has anyone come up with good caffeinated water yet? (I suppose I could also just sleep more, but who has time for that?)

            1. I used to know some grad students in chemistry who just added powdered caffeine to their water (!). I thought it was a little extreme, they thought it was more efficient that spending time to walk down to the library for coffee…

            2. rumor has it that if you drink plenty of water, you’ll be so well-hydrated that you won’t need caffeine. i have no idea if this is true, since i still drink coffee and could not fathom a nice glass o’water having the same effect before 7am.

            3. Lots of the “NoDoze” type OOC medicines are just caffeine. I think the NoDoze brand is 200mg of caffeine per tablet. That could be a way to wean yourself off the diet soda habit, which is probably some part chemical (caffeine) and some part habitual (the treat of leaving your desk and getting the drink, or the taste of the drink, etc). If you took NoDoze for some bridge period, at least you could control how often you introduced caffeine into your system and move away from it (if that’s your goal).

            4. @ Phillygirlruns – I drink nearly a gallon of water a day, along with two or three cups of coffee and another cup or two of tea. So I’d say no, it’s not true. :)

      2. A quick rule: don’t eat free food. That means no snacking on stuff that your co-workers bring to the office or sharing someone’s birthday cupcakes or nibbling cheese from cocktail receptions. If you didn’t buy it yourself or make it yourself (after first buying the ingredients), don’t eat it.

         If you’re just can’t help nibbling on things, especially when bored (I do this all the time), stock up on, yep, raw veggies, hummus, popcorn. Raw veggies are especially good as they make you feel pretty full. I don’t know if you go out to eat a lot, but you might need to cut back significantly as that’s when you really lose control over what you’re eating. Even the healthiest options at restaurants are not great for you.

      3. If you join Weight Watchers online, we started a group for readers of this blog! Search for Weight Watchin’ Corporettes.

   2. congrats! i’m trying to get down to my law school weight!

   3. Haaa. I’ve been joking for awhile now that if I ever need my “emergency suit” that it’s going to be an emergency in more way than one — because mine, too, has been on my door since 2007 and, friends, I just looked and it’s a size 6.

      Kudos for you to for getting back into it — I am hoping to do the same!

      1. one of our partners had to pull out her emergency suit last year, and it truly was an emergency. it fit her, but it was a purple skirt suit from the early 90s with shoulder pads and a package of off-white stockings tucked in on the hanger. she’s tiny, so no one else in the office could lend her anything, and she was stuck.

         1. Up until a couple of months ago I was a complete diet coke junkie – had a ton of stressful evening deadlines so at least two 20oz bottles a day if not more. This was on top of coffee in AM – argh! I had tried to quit again and again to no avail.
            Now I have about 2 cups of strong coffee in the AM plus sometimes a can/small bottle of DC at lunch. Still a lot of caffeine for some people but for me a big reduction.
            How?
            1. New job has fewer evening deadlines.
            2. We have a downstairs cafeteria with limited hours but no vending machines. Aggravating in a pinch but has helped me cut back. If I really need a pick me up or have a tough deadline I will get some in the PM or run to a nearby grocery but it has ceased to become a routine.
            3. Water water and more water. I make myself have least a big glass in the morning and two after lunch. Also several in the evening after workouts.
            4. I also moved into a third-floor walkup…I became too lazy to carry in the twelve-packs on a regular basis. Now I just use a Brita pitcher for the majority of my drinking and sometimes buy small packs of cans or small bottles.
            Not having a constant afternoon caffeine drip has – what do you know – made me sleep better.

8. Can anyone tell if the forest green is actually that lighter color in this post? It looks a lot darker to me on the eBags site.

9. Guys! Do you know what I really hate? I really hate looking for an apartment.

   Boyfriend and I have decided to take the plunge and cohabitate when our respective leases end this spring, and we’re blissfully in synch in terms of what we’re looking for and what we want to spend and where we want to live. That part of the process is decidedly non-stressful–I just really hate trolling through poorly spelled ads trumpeting the virtues of dubiously decorated apartments. (If someone could explain to me why people who are photographing their spaces don’t ever pick up their laundry off the bed first, I’d appreciate it.)

   So as to make this a (hopefully) more productive rant, does anyone have brilliant apartment-hunting tips? Anyone in Philadelphia know a realtor or a landlord who is really worth investigating? (Or really worth avoiding?) Suggestions and commiseration will all be appreciated, and once we find a good place, you’re all invited to a virtual dance party in my new living room.

   1. Congratulations on deciding to move in together! I don’t have any apartment-hunting tips for Philly (it’s been a long time since I lived there), but I can totally commiserate. One thing I’d say is: don’t let those poorly written and poorly photographed ads, or any of the other bs, dissuade you from going to see places. When I first called about the apartment my fiance and I live in now, the guy on the phone was monosyllabic to the point of rudeness. But the price was right and we went to take a look–we love the apartment and that guy turned out to be a sweetheart–just not on the phone.

      Good luck!

   2. I used to live at the National at Old City, which is a gorgeous condo building in Old City. Walking distance to everything and in such a cute neighborhood. My husband and I loved it, and they have a variety of apt. sizes. It’s on the pricier side, but worth it in my opinion

   3. They don’t bother because at least where I am its a seller’s market. Dont let that get you down though! The one I got was sooo messy but 10 people had already been there during hour 1 of the open house. Look at the bones not the decorations. Good luck!

   4. I’m not sure if you are looking to buy or rent, but I suggest picking a neighborhood you like, and then driving or walking around. Look at the buildings. When you see one you like, talk to the super and look online to see if there are any listings at that address.

      Good luck!

   5. There are so many photos of messy apartments because the realtor came unannounced to take them sometime when the residents were at work. Or at least, that was how it worked when I lived in Boston. We told our landlord that we weren’t staying for another year; Landlord immediately put the unit on the market, and guys from a couple different realty offices came by unannounced the same day to take pictures. (Our landlord never gave us a heads up when people were coming by — he was the worst.)

10. I need advice on how to rectify a “mistake” at work. I actually am not even sure it was a mistake. I relayed information to my boss that was given to me by our outside counsel. She felt that his advice was overstated and that his overstatement caused a bit of an emergency. I did not have enough information about the project to understand that he made an overstatement. What do I do here? Obviously I am following my boss’ instructions and am noting this information for the future. Do I apologize? I feel like that is probably the incorrect thing to do. Do I just move on and be sure to remember these things for the future?

    1. Not a mistake at all. You did the correct thing in conveying the info to your boss (certainly better than underestimating the value of the info, not telling your boss, and then finding out later that it was important).

       Assuming you understand your boss’ point of view, I would simply say “thanks for explaining this to me, I appreciate it” and move on, a bit wiser than you were yesterday. Consider it a lesson learned – we all learn things everyday.

11. It is so cold in my office that I am wearing a winter coat, scarf and gloves. I know people have recommended a Vornado space heater for use in the office, but I am not allowed to have a space heater, so I’m looking for one that doesn’t make any noise so that our office manager is less likely to find it. The Cozy Legs heaters get mixed reviews on Amazon. Have any of you tried them? If so, how would they do for warming my whole body? Any other recommendations? Thanks in advance!

    1. A heating pad is really helpful for me. Also, you could look into those microwavable throws to toss over your legs. They stay warm for an hour or two.

    2. I second the heating pad advice.

       I also suggest asking the office manager about the office temperatures. It took about 2 years of once-a-month questions from various associates at my firm, but the office manager finally spoke to building management, and my office is finally holding steady at about 70 degrees. The previous standard of 65 was eliciting complaints, even from clients.

       1. This. I would make some noise about the temperature. Your office manager may be able to help, or you could just call the building management yourself. Daily, until they fix it. 65 is way, way, too cold, and just totally unreasonable, especially if you are expected to endure that for long hours. And if you have clients wandering around, it really doesn’t look so professional to have people sitting around in coats and scarves inside, so you could mention that angle to your office manager. Also, you could bring in a thermometer so that you have evidence of what the actual temp in your office is. It could be that it varies from office to office, depending on what side of the building you are on.

          I am lucky that in my office, space heaters are only discouraged, not forbidden, and since some of the higher-ups use them as well, I doubt we will ever have an all out ban. Mine is a Lasko, and it’s pretty loud, so I wouldn’t recommend that brand for covert purposes.

    3. I have this one and it is really quiet: http://www.amazon.com/DeLonghi-DCH1030-Ceramic-Adjustable-Thermostat/dp/B000G1CXYY
       If you want to try them out without committing to an online purchase, there is a good selection of heaters at Bed Bath and Beyond. If that doesn’t work, perhaps you can get away with a heated blanket?

       1. Thanks. Ordering it now.

          Multiple people have complained to the office manager for years. Apparently building management can’t get the temperature to regulate properly because they work on it about every two months and it never improves. I’ve asked three times to have the vent in my office closed but they refuse.

          1. If the vent is in your ceiling, you can somewhat divert the flow yourself. I had to do that when the maintenance people were being too slow. I just taped pieces of paper over the vent. Because the vent was directly above my desk, this made my workspace much warmer.

             1. My coworkers and I did this once, and it totally worked–but, there were some gaps where the air could escape to the side, if that makes sense, and after a couple of months, a ton of dirt/gunk accumulated on the ceiling. So you may also get the bonus of slightly cleaner air in your office if you do this.

          2. You can get a thing a a home improvement store to fix this. There are several options, the best ones being a big flat flexible magnet th six of the vent you can cover it completely with, or a plastic thing that also attaches with magnets but diverts the air flow out of the vent in a certain direction (away from you). Both options are very inexpensive and there should be an aisle for this sort of things at lowes or home depot.

12. I’m back with another request for the smallest detail: can anyone recommend knee-highs (ugh) for the tall girl? That stay up? I’m 5’9” and the ones I can find come up to about mid-calf or a little higher, which I’m sure doesn’t assist the elastic portion in finding a place to grip. I’ve had good luck finding tall tights and stockings, but the knee-highs I find seem to come in one size.

    1. I’m 5’11” and typically just buy a size up – so instead of an M/L, I get an L/XL.

13. Can I just vent for a second about how ridiculously easy it is for men to lose weight, and how much harder it is for women?

    My boyfriend starting running a few miles 3-4 times a week on January 1st as his New Year’s resolution, and his clothes are already starting to feel loser! It’s been less than 3 weeks and you can already see a visible difference in him without any changes to his (admittedly awful) eating habits.

    Meanwhile, I’m trying to slim down for upcoming bridesmaid duty and a vacation and I’m pretty sure I’ve only lost a pound(!) since January 1st. Granted, I’m already at a healthy weight and really only have about 5-10 vanity pounds to lose so my body is probably thinking I’m ridiculous and clinging to any extra fat for dear life, but still, so frustrating! If only it could be as easy for us as it is for them…

    1. Don’t blame the men. Blame the metabolism. My DH will gain weight if he looks at a brownie and it take a lot of work to take weight off. 1/2 of his family is like that as well, men and women.

    2. Just throwing it out there, have you possibly lost fat but gained muscle, making the number on the scale the same? Also, I highly recommend adding some weights or HIIT to your routine if you haven’t already. Particularly for the “vanity pounds”, sometimes your regular routine won’t get results. I know I plateaued for a while by just doing my stand 30 min treadmill + 30 min weights, but I saw results by doing some different workouts. Good luck! :)

       1. This is a misconception I hear all the time. I would take a very long time to build enough muscle to have that kind of impact.

          Are you excercising? Intensely? I think women don’t excercise intesely enough. Its supposed to hurt (not actually hurt, but feel hard to do). I see so many women listlessly jogging or doing the elliptical or walking at a leisurely pace or lifting light weights. You should be sweating and breathing hard. For 60 minutes. And it should not be the same everyday. Vary the intensity of your workouts, but make sure you have enough hard ones in there to get a good calorie-burn.

          Are you eating more than you think you are. Everyone has a certain number of calories that they need each day. A base level for simply functioning. If you eat less than that number (or raise that number by being more active), you will lose weight. Even if its only 10-15 lbs away from goal weight. (Of course that rate may go down the closer you get to goal weight because your body becomes more efficient, but take in less than you need and you will lose weight. Man or woman.

    3. I also wonder if it’s a sugar thing. Most men I know don’t have much of a sweet tooth.

    4. I also think that men can gain/lose a lot more weight without having to buy new clothes since their clothes are usually less fitted…whereas I will fluctuate 5-10 pounds and none of my pants will fit. :(

       1. THIS! My 10 pounds are keeping me from 1/2 my wardrobe!

          1. And I know you’re not supposed to hang onto clothes that don’t fit (or so goes the What Not to Wear advice)…but I’m not going to get rid of my favorite stuff until I’m sure it’ll never fit again!!

       2. Oh yes! Following an injury and holiday eating, I can only wear 2 pairs of pants comfortably, and 3 more with mild discomfort. However, none of my wool pants fit in either category. At least the extra insulation should help to stay warm.

    5. About 8 months ago my boyfriend decided that he needed to lose weight (not that I thought he was overweight to begin with). He just decided to eat better one day and eventually lost about 30 lbs in 3-5 months. It just melted off of him with minimal effort (did not work out 1 day).

       I tried to lose 10lbs for about a year and I actually gained a few pounds out of anxiety.

       Its utterly frustrating how men can do that.

       However, I did start my fitness journey recently, in earnest this time, and I’m going to give it about a month before I share anything on here. But I will say that I received so much support from fellow corporette’s and I’ve managed to stay motivated through the rough phase.

       1. Did you find some cute workout clothes? I’m still on the hunt for a new gym bag since I listed after a specific Lululemon one for so long that they no longer carry it (right when I could actually afford it too).

    6. I think another reason is that eating tends to be more emotionally driven for women than it is for men. My girlfriends and i all equate eating with various mental states like boredom, exhaustion, depression, loneliness, etc. The men in my life either aren’t as acutely attuned to such changes in their emotional well-being, or don’t manage them with food.

       In practice – my boyfriend can decide he’s just not going to eat for the rest of the day, and do it. For me, the challenge would be not simply the avoidance of food, but the management of office boredom or job stress or XYZ frustration with my mother (etc) without wanting to resort to a snack or distract myself with food somehow.

       1. I agree with this, too.

          In the last 10 years, I’ve learned to excercise intensely and eat when I’m hungry/stop when I’m full and not eat for *any* other reason than hunger. I eat whatever I want (within reason, but I don’t make any food “off-limits”) but only when I’m hungry. And then I stop.

          I’m about 40 lbs lighter than I was in college/law school and this is by not dieting at all.

14. Does anyone know of any big law firms in NYC or Boston that accept 1Ls as summer associates? Just got my first semester grades back today and rocked them! I’m so excited to start looking for jobs, but can’t seem to find this info anywhere online!

    1. Not to be a Debbie Downer, but unless you are at Harvard and rocked your grades, it will probably be quite difficult to get a 1L summer associate position in Boston. I have worked at both Ropes and Wilmer in Boston, and I am fairly certain Ropes almost exclusively hires 2L (except for maybe??? the exceptional Harvard 1L) and Wilmer has cut back there summer associate positions substantially, as have many firms. Many of the lower ranked AmLaws have done away with summer associate programs completely.

       All that being said, it never hurts to apply, but your best chance of landing such a position will be through networking with partner level people. I went to law school during really good times, and after my first semester, I was in the top 5% of my class from a top 50 law school, and I was unable to land a summer associate position during that first summer. Most of my friend’s that did had those grades + connections in the city of my law school.

       If I were you, I would try to get an unpaid externship with a judge or do some really meaningful pro bono or work at one of your law school’s clinics. Maybe see if you can help a small practice over the summer. Personally, I worked at a legal clinic for the working poor for half the summer. I won a small fellowship that paid me a stipend for my time, and it was a great experience.

       1. I agree with the part about a meaningful experience outside a law firm being a great idea for 1Ls, but also I would encourage you to try for 1L positions at big firms if you want to. I went to American University law school and I got a 1L summer position, so it’s definitely possible even if you aren’t at Harvard. Good luck!

       2. Ditto – if you know a partner at one of the big firms, that is prob the only way in. I was the only 1L one summer at Wilmer and it was bc my first grade teacher’s brother-in-law was a partner (I sent my resume and letter to him). I also went to a T5 school.

    2. I don’t know about NYC or Boston, but I do know that Patton Boggs and Vinson & Elkins both take 1Ls in their DC offices at least. Maybe they take them in their NYC offices as well? It couldn’t hurt to check.

    3. For the most part, they don’t (post-2007). Usually they would be posting on your school’s website if they did, at least if you go to a school where they typically recruit from. But it doesn’t hurt to send a cover letter and resume and see if you are surprised/they are interested. If you don’t absolutely need to make the big bucks this summer, though, you may want to try some of the “higher-ranked” and more competitive 1L summer gigs, like federal court clerk and USAO. Also, you should probably check with your school’s career services office, since they may know of places looking for 1Ls in particular.

    4. I had a 1L firm job (summer 2010, a notoriously bad summer), and some of my classmates did as well. Here are the firms I know that hire 1Ls (usually one or two, but they do hire). I really loved working at a firm my 1L summer because it made me more relaxed about my 2L options, and also because it helped pay off loans. I only know about New York. You may be from Harvard, but I am not (although from a top 5 school), so I don’t think you should discount this option entirely.

       Cravath, Kirkland & Ellis, Ropes & Gray (definitely hired 1Ls last summer in NYC — not sure if this has changed), Akin Gump, Milbank Tweed, Davis Polk. I’m sure you could find others by searching.

       1. Also, I forgot — Wilmer Hale in Boston also hires 1Ls regularly. Not sure about New York.

    5. i believe that the nalp forms for firms/offices disclose whether a firm will consider 1L summer associates. my firm in nyc has a new special program where they take 1Ls from particular top law schools only (which i think is silly)

    6. First, congrats!!

       Second, I would also suggest (unless you did go to Harvard) that in addition to Big Law, you look at some mid-law firms in your school’s geographic market as well. I did that and it really helped when I interviewed with BigLaw my 2L year (in 2008 – at the beginning of the end) to be able to say that while I wasn’t at BigLaw my 1L year, I was at a firm job and knew that I wanted to work at a firm … and blah blah blah. I ended up with a few awesome offers at a time when firms were really pulling back on their hiring, and I think having that firm experience really helped (it was something a little more “serious” than a summer studying abroad). Although I would also second the judicial clerkship idea – that’s a good one too!

15. Threadjack: Has anyone ever used the Talbots personal shopper service? (The website calls is “Style By Design.”)

    I got a Talbots gift card for Xmas that I want to use up, and my free time, is, shall we say, a little limited. Two kids, work, etc. It would be for work clothes, mostly. I work in a business to business casual kind of place.

    While I’d love to wait until I lost all of the baby weight, I think getting some new work clothes might actually motivate me a bit and make me stop feeling like a frumposaurus.

    1. Between “frumpskank” and “frumposaurus” I learned a whole new vocabulary from Corporette today!

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