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Updated: Oct 31, 2018 54 Comments · by

Coffee Break: Gilia Pumps

Coffee Break |

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Calvin Klein Gilia PumpOooh: I do love a good cutout, and here there are fun details at the ankle as well as on the vamp — I'm in love. I like this beigy snake, which feels like a fun neutral, but there are also actual neutrals: a greige and a black. Zappos has them at full price, but Nordstrom has them 25% off — they were $119, but are now $89. Calvin Klein ‘Gilia' Cutout Leather d'Orsay Pump Dec. 2015 Update — This shoe is no longer available at Zappos or Nordstrom but can be found at Amazon.  (L-3)

Sales of note for 9.30.24

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

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Comments

  1. Ellen

    Wow, Kat! I totally LOVE these pump’s! They are Calvin Klien’s stuff, which look’s good on me. The manageing partner has been asking if I would be a mentor to the judge’s grandniece, and I did NOT see any responses from the HIVE, so am re-p’osting my question here:

    Is it smart for me to be a mentor for a young college grad who is thinking of goeing to Law School? She saw me in court and now want’s me to be her mentor.

    The judge asked the manageing partner to ask me and now I am NOT sure if she does not like me. If she tells that to the judge, the judge will mabye NOT be as good to me in court. This is a real dilemna that I need the HIVE’s advise on. HELP?

    • Gilda

      Ellen, I think this mentoring position could be a great opportunity for you to help a younger woman gain direction as to the workings of the legal profession, and potentially become another litigation expert like you. The key, in any mentoring position, is to exude excitement for the profession, recognizing, of course, that there is much drudgery and time pressures associated with litigation which you seem to have mastered over the years. With the right mix of information, this young lady will be able to make her own decisions as to the legal profession. Also, it does not hurt that the judge asked for you by name. That is a major feather in your cap! Kudos to you, Ellen, and go for it!!!!! YAY!!!!

  2. J Crew Factory Cardigan?

    Anyone have thoughts on the fit & sizing of the Clare cardigan from J. Crew Factory? I’m thinking of ordering a couple in size Medium but wondering if I should pick Large instead. By the size chart, I’m a medium, but I am br**stfeeding and pumping so will want to wear them buttoned up over a nursing tank to work. I don’t want it to be too fitted and show my every roll and bump. I also have pretty large upper arms, so if the sleeves are tight I’d want to know. Thanks for any input!

    • tesyaa

      The reviews of the Clare mostly say they run small. Gigi’s Gone Shopping blog has done a lot of reviews of the Clare, it’s worth a look.

    • roses

      I’d order a size up. Note that the material is a bit thin too without much stretch.

  3. it's not you, it's me

    What is the nicest way to break up with someone? My usual standby is that I’m so busy with work, I just don’t have time for a relationship, etc. But a few problems with that: the guy says he’s understanding (and he is) and in the past, I inevitably start dating someone else and if ex finds out, he gets kind of hurt since he really thought it was because of work.

    I’m just not into the current guy I’m seeing, but he really likes me and I don’t want to hurt his feelings. Stick to the old standby work statement or tell him honestly that I’m just not into him (that seems so mean to do directly to someone’s face…)?

    Geez, this almost looks like an Ellen comment, but I swear I don’t mean it that way!

    • Shayla

      I think there’s middle ground you’re over looking. “I’m just not that into you,” isn’t mean, but makes it directed and “feel” mean. I’m with you there. But creating a scapegoat is also unfair for the example you provided. How about, “This just isn’t working out.” While it means the same as the first option, it doesn’t “feel” mean. If he wants examples, if it’s true, explain that while things are “okay” now you don’t see a future.

      You’re breaking up with him. He’s going to be hurt. If he isn’t hurt, then he just wasn’t that into you either.

      • nutella

        +to all of this. I was going to suggest the same thing: “This just isn’t working out for me. I’m sorry.”

        • Asideralis

          +1 I love that. “This isn’t working out for me.” is perfect and to the point. You don’t have to explain why.

        • January

          I like this phrasing, too. I think the “for me” part is critical – it makes it harder for the guy to argue with you about why you’re wrong. Not that this happened to me recently or anything.

    • Anon

      Tell him the truth. It’s so much better than blowing someone off or telling him it’s because of work. say i don’t see this working out or it’s just not working or even I don’t think we’re that compatible.

    • Scarlett

      Be honest & direct – tell him you’re just not that into him. He’ll get over it and you won’t leave him with some false sense of hope that if your circumstances change, he could be an option. While it feels mean, I think it’s actually the kindest thing to do.

    • Duchess

      I’d say something about you like him, but he seems to be much more invested in this as a romantic relationship than you are, and it’s not fair to him to stay together when you just aren’t as into him.

    • Brunette Elle Woods

      “I just don’t see a future with us. I don’t want to waste your time.” Direct and honest without saying I’m no longer into you. He’ll get the point without making it about him. It’s still the old “it’s me not you” but basically saying we don’t have a future.

      • Baconpancakes

        This. It means the same thing, (I’m not into you enough to have a future with you) but it’s not about HIM, it’s about what YOU see happening.

    • Anonymous

      Sorry if this sounds mean but I consider this cowardly and dishonest to say the least: “in the past, I inevitably start dating someone else and if ex finds out, he gets kind of hurt since he really thought it was because of work.”

      Be woman enough to tell someone that you just don’t see the relationship working or you have met someone else you like better. Moving on to dating other people as a relationship out is just terrible. Don’t use work or some other excuse either.

      • Alli

        I don’t think she was saying that she moves on to someone else just as a way out of the failed relationship. She was just saying that she gets out of the relationship by saying it’s because of work. Then, later, when she eventually starts dating someone new, the old boyfriend finds out and realizes that it wasn’t because of work– her work is still busy, but she has a new boyfriend. She didn’t dump him because of the new boyfriend; she dumped him because she wasn’t into him and used work as an excuse. Moving on to dating other people happened later but was not her way out of the relationship. (At least, this is how I understood it.)

    • Anonymous

      Re-frame: it’s not that *you’re* not into *him* — rather the two of you are not a good fit. That way it’s not about you not liking him, it’s about two great people who aren’t great together.

    • Gilda

      I agree with the other OP’s that you must be direct with him. Guys don’t take subtlety too well. If you don’t tell him and break it off right away, then for God sakes, stop all romantic activities tout de suite. It is hard to break up with someone après sex, though I’ve heard of it. Be strong, and don’t give into the fact that you feel sorry for him either. He’d be better off finding another woman, as I’m sure there’s someone for him, if not you. Good luck!

    • anon a mouse

      Be honest and direct. If you say you can’t see him because you’re busy with work, he hears “someday she won’t be busy with work and we’ll get together then.”

      Be prepared for follow-up questions from him. If you say “I’m sorry, this just isn’t working for me,” he will likely ask why. You may want to point to an absence of chemistry, or whatever else that will help him understand that this is a final, non-negotiable decision. Be kind but be honest. Frankly, it’s the most any of us could hope for in a breakup.

      (Though I did tell a guy once that I thought he was so terrific, even though I didn’t feel sparks with him, I wouldn’t hesitate to set him up with a friend. He didn’t take me up on it.)

    • Anonymama

      Ugh, this is one of this cases where being “nice” is really being cowardly and trying to avoid confrontation, and worse for everyone in the long run. (I have been guilty of this myself.)

      • Not a match

        I always liked to say that we just didn’t seem to be a match” when I was dating. No big, happens to everyone.

    • it's not you, it's me

      Thanks for all the advice! “It’s not working out for me” is a lot less harsh and makes it clear that it’s me. Hopefully he won’t feel as bad hearing it….

      And yes, +1 to Alli – I don’t leave relationships for another relationship. That just happens to come later :)

    • Anonymous

      I have attended individual counseling and community based support groups for it. Not “group therapy.” YMMV, but I speculate it would be hard to “get over” the issues in a solely group therapy setting.

    • Ok...

      For me, it was too personal to discuss openly in a group. I think it would depend strongly on the group, and the moderator. If the group came highly recommended by someone who went through it, then maybe I would try. Maybe I just didn’t give it a chance?

  5. pants

    I recently bought a pair of navy 100% cotton pants from the Gap that I’ve only worn a few times. Every time I wear them they seem to get all…dusty? Chalky? within minutes of wearing them. It’s hard to describe, but they just don’t look clean and crisp, almost linty, but there’s no real link on them. Anything I can do to avoid this? I don’t use fabric softener because it irritates my skin, is that why this is happening?

    • Coach Laura

      It may be a poor quality fabric or just the type of fabric. I don’t use fabric softener either, so not sure if that has any bearing on it but you could try spraying the pants with Static Guard after washing/before wearing and see if that helps.

    • New Tampanian

      Could it be that you have lotion on your hands? Even if it’s been fully “soaked in” I sometimes find the same thing happens.

    • MJ

      I’ve had this happen with a few pairs of black pants I’ve bought from BR outlet over the years. It’s the fabric. Some fabrics are just crazy dust/lint magnets. Either learn to live with it, carry a lint roller and use it multiple times per day, or toss them.

  6. Baconpancakes

    A friend just had a second kid (Wednesday!) and a mutual friend is organizing meals using a great website I’d never seen before, http://www.takethemameal.com/

    So what did y’all want to eat most after you gave birth (in summer)? Comfort foods, super-nutritious foods? For meat-eaters, did you want to eat meat or avoid it? What’s the best thing to bring?

    • Hollis

      She will really appreciate it. Bring anything, but ideally in disposable containers so they don’t have to remember to return your glassware, etc. back to you. Lasagna, other pasta bakes, burritos, chicken pot pie, anything you like.

    • mascot

      Snacks/foods that can be eaten one handed were key for me, as well as non-caffeinated beverages. I like breakfast foods for things like this- bagels, hardboiled eggs, fruit, sliced cheeses, etc. People tend to get lots of heavier meals. A whole roasted chicken, good bread and some salad can double as lunch or dinner.

      • Anon

        If you want to make her something healthy, cooling for summer, and one-handed consumable, make up a bunch of smoothie packs for her freezer. Buy quart-size Ziploc bags and put a cup of frozen berries, half a frozen banana (cut into chunks), and 2 cups of spinach into each bag. Seal and flatten so they stack well in the freezer. Bring it over with a bunch of single serving cups of Fage greek yogurt and a jar of almond butter. One packet plus some yogurt plus some almond butter in the blender = delicious, filling, healthy, one-handed meal or snack.

    • Anonymama

      All the foods! Yes to meat, maybe no to pasta/spaghetti just cause that tends to be the go to for a lot of people. That smoothie idea is genius.

    • Need to Improve

      A big vat that they can re heat and eat for days. Enchiladas, lasagne, pasta, are good. A bottle of wine and some ice cream also are appreciated.

    • Anonymous

      The best thing we got, surprisingly, was homemade hamburgers. Several containers that each contained a hamburger patty, some kind of grain (I forget), and green beans. Just microwave and eat. With a bun would be even better than with the grain, which was hard to eat one handed. Green beans were great because you can eat them with your fingers with one hand, if necessary. We also got a lot of soup, which was tasty but harder to manage with the baby.

      Recently we’ve been making a lot of banana/oatmeal muffins for new families, which we survived on when we had our baby and which have gotten good reviews.

      • Not a match

        A big bowl of listeria. Hahaha. Seriously: didn’t care but was psyched to eat salads and sushi again.

    • I'm Just Me

      A roast chicken. It can feed a couple for days, be eaten hot, cold or room temp, can be put on a sandwich or eaten alone, picked at or eaten as a meal, goes with a ton of different flavors if they are down to the leftovers of the other meals and can be frozen if not needed.

      Add a salad, cut up veggies, some fruit and a pan of brownies and you got a great meal to deliver.

      I usually do chicken parts, a few bone in breasts, a few thighs and legs, salt & pepper, a squeeze of lemon juice, then roast until done, cool completely, put in disposable container and deliver. It’s easy to reheat in the micro wave or oven.

      • TackyB

        +1 to the chicken parts. When a visiting family member became seriously ill, a neighbor brought over a large pan of roasted chicken already divided into parts and another pan of a squash casserole. So easy to heat up when we came home from the hospital each night. I still think very fondly of that neighbor for a very kind act.

  7. Hollis

    Anyone have any good father’s day gift ideas for their dads, husbands, etc.? I’d like to buy my dad, uncle and husband something decently practical. They all have everything they could possibly want.

    • Sydney Bristow

      Last year I got my dad (who grills frequently) a bottle of Peter Luger steak sauce. It is fancier than what he normally gets and he loved it. I think he’s actually started buying it himself because he liked it so much more than what he was using.

      So maybe an upgraded version of a consumable that he likes and uses frequently?

    • waffles

      I’m giving a subscription to the Carnivore Club for father’s day. It’s a mail-order meat service (sausages and things). You can do it one-time or have a recurring shipment, depending on your budget.

    • LilyS

      I usually find my dad really difficult to buy for but for his last birthday I went to Etsy and found him a custom made, personalised with his initials, leather card case. It was made about 30 miles from where he lives by an independent craftsman and he uses it all the time. (Normally he puts cards in his phone case but he uses it for overflow cards and especially for business cards).

      For fathers day I’ve got him a tea towel with the Shipping Forecast zones on (it’s a UK thing which combines boating and radio, two of his passions)

  8. In House Lobbyist

    I’m really excited about my husband’s gift this year – I hope he is too. It is the Southern Living – Southern Gentleman’s Kitchen. It had great “men” receipes like venison chili and seafood gumbo. It also looks pretty simple and has great full page pictures of the meals. My husband likes to cook so I think this will be good.

    My Dad gets food every year.

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