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Updated: Nov 14, 2022 166 Comments · by

Coffee Break: Mogul Drop Pendant

Coffee Break

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blue drop pendant

Oooh: Let's all drool over this gold, blue topaz, and diamond drop pendant, which is one of the more affordable things at Saks right now. It's $2,950 at Saks, but note that if you buy it by Friday, you can get a digital gift card worth $450.

(I mean, in that case, let's all get three!)

But seriously — I think this is a gorgeous pendant and is something I would put in my “wear anywhere” collection.

You can see similar options at Syna‘s website.

In terms of dupes, it's surprisingly difficult to find something similar. This Etsy seller has a lot of drop pendants that are in the same vein, as does this other Etsy seller.

This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Sales of note for 10.10.24

  • Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
  • Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
  • Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
  • Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
  • J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
  • J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
  • Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
  • Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
  • White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. Favorite things

    What are your favorite things? I saw a list on another blog I read and thought it would be fun to know what this community’s favorite things are. Can be anything- Item of clothing, kitchen product, skincare, etc.

    • Anonymous

      Fresh soy cleanser. Marc fisher block heels. Left bank Bordeaux. Barolo.
      Diet Coke. Bmws. My air pods. Linen sheets. The geranium scrub from jo Malone that is super hard to find. My nespresso. Sour patch kids. Warm bread with good butter. Nordstrom Moonlight pjs. RH baby alpaca throw. Diptyche vanille candle.

    • Anon

      All my jewelry, my cashmere sweaters, my handknit shawl, my piano, my Le Creuset lots and pans, and my Volvo.

    • Anon

      Ok talking practical items/things not ‘the smell of freshly-cut grass’. Weleda skin food, mikes hot honey, TJs everything but the bagel seasoning, Pai Anthemis moisturizer in wintertime, it’s a 10 hair conditioning spray, madewell lace up boots, Uniqlo v neck t shirts, target stars above pajamas, crate and barrel Marin line dinnerware, gap body breathe underwear, Bose quiet comfort ii noise canceling headphones, container store ‘stackers’ jewelry boxes

    • Anonymous

      Cetaphil moisturizer
      Celestial Seasonings Cinnamon Apple Spice tea
      Spice blends from Spice House
      Stroopwafels
      Maple cream sandwich cookies

      • Anon

        + 1 on Celestial Seasonings Cinnamon Apple Spice tea. Have you tried the Celestial Seasonings Gingerbread Spice tea?

        • Lovely things

          …and Celestial Seasonings goodnight tea. In a sturdy handmade, hand glazed cup, with a warm blanket.

    • Vicky Austin

      Soma underwear. Aveeno lavender scented anything. Fresh berries as often as I can afford them. Fancy German chocolate. New cookbooks. Not Your Mother’s berry vanilla smoothing conditioner. Sweater dresses. My red wool coat. Our dog. Method cleaning products. Citrus flavors in ice cream (so hard to find!). Bright colored shoes. Catalogs (old fashioned, but man I loved flipping through them as a kid and I love it now!).

    • Anon

      Stok cold brew + coffee mate french vanilla creamer. Every morning from now until forever.

    • Real Estate Inhouse Counsel

      Sweaters from The Reset, London Fogs (early grey lattes), my dog, Rifle Paper Co. mugs, Clinique charcoal face mask, wine from Piedmont region of Italy, Lululemon align leggings, Sam Edelman loafers

      • Lovely Things

        Seriously the charcoal cleanser is the best! Adding Elemis rose cleanser.

        General comment: dogs are not things! What things do you like for your dog perhaps… (to all the thread)

    • Anon

      Lake pajamas, Patagonia Los Gatos fleece, Laniege lip sleeping mask, Youth to the People Superberry dream mask, Le Creuset Dutch oven, AYR French fry tees, Sezane sweaters, Madewell perfect vintage jeans, Buffy eucalyptus sheets, kindle, Hydroflask, and Milk cornflake marshmallow chocolate chip ice cream.

    • anon

      – Mrs. Meyers peppermint scented all purpose cleaner.
      – LL Bean slippers.
      – Harney & Sons decaf cinnamon tea.
      – Good bread and good cheese. Almost any combination is amazing, but a lady at my local farmers’ market sells seasonal breads with dried fruits and nuts, and it’s amazing with goat cheese and sometimes a slice of prosciutto.
      – Cashmere sweaters from Talbots.
      – Barefoot dreams throw blanket (which 7 yo has named the “jealous blanket”).
      – Kindle Paperwhite.
      – Libby app/ my local public library.
      – Nutella.

    • AIMS

      My Victorinox fish spatula, which is the only spatula you will ever need for any purpose and will make you cringe to use anything else ever again.

    • MagicUnicorn

      Hand knit wool socks, silly times with my kid. Good coffee. Intelligent conversation, inside jokes with my spouse. Writing instruments in all the colors. Double-stuf oreos. Affection from my BFF.

    • Panda Bear

      Cats! Antique jewelry. Lilacs, jasmine, dahlias. Fallout 4. Fresh, in-season tomatoes and berries.

      • Anon

        Oh I love everything you love but haven’t heard of Fallout 4. I also didn’t know we could mention pets so I have to say my rescue English Bulldog. He is a weird one, but a joy.

    • Sallyanne

      My dog, hot water with lemon, cotton pajamas from J Crew, Blue Apron, Balega wool running socks, Barry’s bootcamp, Christian Dior cuticle cream

    • Senior Attorney

      The new fancy Balmuda toaster we got after somebody mentioned it here recently, and homemade English muffin toasting bread to put in it
      My Kindle
      The “extra roll” toilet paper holder in my bathroom
      Hubby’s fancy sports car

    • roxie

      MAC Rebel lipstick. My signature color for ten years running; nothing else compares.

    • Curious

      My passport! Thursday boots. CeraVe lotion. Good Karma Flax Milk. Rishi turmeric tea.

        • Elle

          I’m not the OP, but I’ve had the Captain model (lace up, ankle boot) for about 3 years and love them.

  2. Anon

    I’m not sure if it varies by parish or diocese, but can girls / women be altar servers, lay readers, or acolytes in Catholic churches? I know they can’t be ordained as priests, but can lay women do things? [Spouse is Catholic and I sense that I will treat “you can’t do anything” as a feature not a bug b/c I’d love not to be tasked with things at the moment, but over time this would bother me.]

    • Catholic Answer

      Yes. Women and girls at all the Catholic churches I have attended have served in a variety of positions: altar servers (tends to be kids, so just girls here), readers, ushers, Eucharistic ministers, etc. The church we currently go to also has opportunities for volunteering outside of the Mass as well with volunteer ministries (food banks, family events at the church, for instance.)

    • Anonymous

      Why are you seemingly converting to a faith about which you seem to know nothing and in which one of the central tenets – women are not self-governing or equal to men – is something you disagree with?

      • Anon

        Catholics believe women are self governing and equal to men.

        Priests aren’t supposed to govern.

          • Anon

            “Post where it says that in the Catechism and not Wikipedia, mkay?”

            LMAO. By all means, keep clinging to (and defending) the shackles that keep you in bondage. You seem to enjoy it immensely.

        • Anonymous

          Let me guess – You are going to say men and women are equal but different and their differences mean that women just aren’t meant to hold power. Is that it? Because inherent in and central to the design of the Catholic church is the denial of power to women.

          • Catholic

            As a Catholic, they made me promise to try to have children and to raise them in the Catholic faith. That’s controlling for someone who didn’t grow up with all the subtle messages girls get at Catholic schools etc. Same could be said about many religions, but yeah it’s male dominated.

      • Trish

        I think I would start with reading some books, going to mass, and listening to podcasts before I tried to learn about Catholism on this board.

    • Walnut

      It’s possible it varies, but I have seen women in all roles except ordained priests/deacons in both the midwest and the PNW.

      • Anon

        Heh. At my church, we get a lot of alter server parents pressed into duty as kids come down with COVID or the flu or just the crud that’s going around. Lean times. Lean times.

    • anon

      The bigger question is are you Catholic? If you are not willing to go through Catechism and be in good standing, that will be an automatic disqualification. If husband is not super Catholic, I might consider finding a home in an Anglican/Episcopal church as they would be much more welcoming to whatever level of involvement you want but keep similar rituals (sit/stand/kneel, mostly the same hymns/prayers, minor doctrinal differences). Plus, you are less likely to have to listen to a save the unborn sermon.

      • Anon

        OP: husband has never been confirmed, so I guess he didn’t know this fine print. Does this disqualify the 12 year olds also? I’m not Catholic (but not sure how that is defined — confirmed? something else?).

        • Anon

          Your husband not being confirmed does not disqualify your children from participation in faith formation. Have them start CCD at the appropriate age, get First Holy Communion and continue their faith formation.

          My caveat is that the Catholic Church is not really a “pick and choose” faith. Your husband can get confirmed through RCIA; if he won’t, I’m going to push back against two non-Catholics raising Catholic kids. Just… why?

          • Anon

            (Rolls eyes) It means you are not able to receive Communion, be married in the Church, or receive Last Rites. You cannot be a Catholic godparent according to the rules of many parishes.

            More importantly, refusing to go through the process that allows one to receive the Eucharist at weekly Mass is not some small thing. That’s actually a refusal to participate in one of the central parts of the faith.

            But tell me about how you went to Catholic church when you were eight and therefore know more about the faith than the adults who live it very day.

          • Anon

            So every child who receives First Communion at 7 but who is not confirmed is violating Church law?

          • Anon

            Also rolls eyes. Catholicism is the biggest pick and choose faith there is. Much of this varies by parish and frankly priest. I was raised Catholic but converted to Judaism when I married but was still a godmother to my nieces (ceremony with Catholic priests in the church). It varies widely.

          • Trish

            Given the nunmber of pro-death penalty Catholics, I would definately agree that it is pick and choose.

        • Anon

          If you have a 12 year old, at least in my archdiocese they’ve pretty much missed the formal Catholic education period. Typically most kids will start CCD in k or first grade, do reconciliation and communion somewhere around grade 3 (2 for Catholic school kids), and then confirmation in 6th grade so ages 11 and 12. Then everyone immediately drops out right after confirmation not even finishing out the year, except for a few kids who parents are super Catholic. The priests complain but everyone does it anyway. There are a lot of Catholics that aren’t very involved in the church.

          New Catholic kids can still make the sacraments, but they may not be in the class with the rest of the Catholic kids. Your husband would also need to get confirmed if he wants to be a “real” Catholic. Honestly I’d join another church since doesn’t seem like you guys are that into Catholicism. Maybe it would be nice if his family was super Catholic but since he wasn’t confirmed I doubt that is the case. I think Lutherans are kind of similar?

      • Walnut

        Non-catholics can still participate in the church community outside of the actual mass parts. I think the OP has a great point in the “feature, not a bug” part if they are not Catholic and don’t want to be super involved. My husband is not Catholic, will never be Catholic, but comes to church on occasion and partakes in the church festival or whatever random events I request. He’s still listed as a member of the church on our family card with the ‘Not Catholic’ option marked.

      • Anon

        Episcopalian here and I could go on for hours about how great the denomination is :)

        • Anonymous

          Same. And we don’t get ‘tasked’ with stuff. I attend every Sunday and do zero other things – no one makes me feel bad about it. I’ll lean volunteering more when the rest of my life allows.

          • Anon Episcopalian

            Like the Catholic Church, the Episcopal Church runs on volunteers. Ushers, altar guild, altar servers, lay Eucharistic ministers, lay readers, ministry heads, etc., etc. It is nice that you belong to an Episcopal Church where there are enough people to volunteer so that they are not always recruiting for new blood, but that is a parish specific thing, not a denomination thing.

            At least in my (Episcopal) church, we are hurting for volunteers and actively recruiting. I am sorry if that makes people “feel bad”. But our Baby Boomer contingent is stepping back (or dying) and we do not have people to take their places. And as a Gen X’er who is currently doing three separate ministries I am here to tell you that if Millennials do not start stepping up, we are going to just stop being able to do the things that they take for granted because we are burning people out.

            And please do not tell me that you work and have kids and cannot possibly help. I worked full time as a lawyer, raised my kid as a single parent and still managed to usher once a month.

          • Anon

            “I am here to tell you that if Millennials do not start stepping up, we are going to just stop being able to do the things that they take for granted because we are burning people out.”

            Wow, it’s almost like…maybe the younger generation has seen the hypocrisy and inherent damage of organized religion and is opting out of all that noise to go do something more enjoyable with their time? Imagine that! Shame on those people, making choices that work for their lives instead of choosing to uphold traditions and responsibilities they have no attachment to, and which don’t benefit them! I guess if your church has to shut down it’ll be a pretty clear message people have “voted with their feet” and what the church offers them is not valuable enough to support.

          • Anon Episcopalian

            Sigh

            OK, first of all you really shouldn’t paint all organized religion was such a broad brush. Second the numerous people, including a majority who are not members of our church, who we support through our ministries might disagree with you about the “damage“ we are doing.

            But my point is not that people who do not attend church should volunteer to support it, only the people who do attend need to recognize the amount of work that goes into it and they want to continue to be viable, they need to consider contributing their time.

    • Anon

      I was an altar server when I was in middle school. Actually, all the altar servers at that time were girls.

    • Anony

      I was an altar server when I was in a kid in my Catholic Church. Girls and women hold most of the roles besides Priest (at least in my small, Northern New England town).

      • theguvnah

        I feel like this is generally true in churches of all denominations; women do the bulk of the grunt work but men are the real leaders and have the real power.
        Hence why I have never gone to a church service.

        • Anon

          That is a gross over generalization and betrays a real bias against religion. I am an Episcopalian and our BISHOP is a woman. And we are hardly alone in allowing women clergy. The Methodists come immediately to mind (and I think the Lutherans and Presbyterians too).

          • Vicky Austin

            Late, but all the women clergy I have ever known have been Lutherans (of both ELCA and Missouri Synod!).

    • Aunt Jamesina

      Women can serve in any of these positions, but I have heard of old school priests doing things like barring (or strongly discouraging) girls from being altar servers in certain parishes.

      • Walnut

        Ugh, yes. This is a thing. I encountered a priest like this and his justification was that he wanted to promote boys who might become priests and I responded that we perhaps we needed more girls out there praying for priests’ souls. We then had a staring contest until he walked away.

      • Formerly Lilly

        Episcopalian here, and we had a priest who had formerly been a Catholic priest and who seemed to be a holdover from Neanderthal times. He did not want women to participate in any way. Our parish spent a good year or so where every.single.reading was done by a woman, cause we petty that way. Also we were making a point.

      • Anonymous

        Yup. I was a 5th grader in catholic school when this happened at it was a big deal because it was a sweet gig. You got to miss school to serve at funerals and you got a tip to do weddings (it was like $15-$20 back in the 90s).

    • Anonymous

      Yes. It changed in the late 90s I think, at least in my CT diocese. I was one of the first.

    • Anon

      You can attend a Catholic Church without having any involvement in the church at all regardless of gender. If you want to be involved as a non-Catholic, I’m sure there are volunteer opportunities you could do. Altar servers can be boys or girls, but in my experience always children. Women can serve in any role except deacon, priest and above. I believe in order to serve in certain roles (Eucharistic minister mainly) you have to be a confirmed Catholic. Essentially women can be (and are) very involved in pretty much all aspects of the running of a parish. But women will never be truly equal in the larger church as they cannot be ordained, thus cannot be involved in certain areas of governance and decision making that only priests, bishops, cardinals etc are involved in. I say this as a lifelong Catholic who is currently not attending.

  3. Anonymous

    Another winter gift question. For those of you that exchange gifts with those in a lower income bracket/hemisphere than you, what are some gifts to ask that are affordable for them? I saw a lot of suggestions on this morning’s thread to “ask for things you’d buy anyway” and had to laugh at the idea of my mom buying me the restoration hardware towels I’m planning to buy, or the $80 shampoo I use. There are many in my circle where that would work, but many where it would be embarrassing for everyone if I sent a list like that.

    Here are some things I’ve gifted/been gifted that are lower cost and have gone over really well in the past. Would love more ideas.

    – a night out. literally, top gift ever. I know it’s cheesy but we had to tell my mom that her coming to stay with the kids so we could go LITERERALLY ANYWERE was worth over $100 to us.

    – baby plants, either given to me by someone else or gifted by me to someone using cuttings from my own plants. I’m a plant person and have others in my circle that are as well. This year I split my amaryllis and two people will be getting its babies as part of their gift, in a pot I’ve had in the garage for ages tied up with ribbon.

    – My aunt is big into growing her own food. She’s taken to canning and has made some great stuff over the years. I got cucumber infused vodka, a trio of different flavors of pickles, that sort of thing.

    – books (used). I always ask for “books you think I’d like, PLEASE not new!” I have gifted and been gifted some curated “little free library” finds and it is wonderful. I do this now for my kids who go through books like water.

    • Anon

      I just put things on my Amazon wish list that I was going to buy anyway. So, starting last month I was like, do I need this $30 sweater now or can it wait until Christmas? And by waiting, there’s now a $30 item on my wish list for my sibling to consider.

      • Anon

        Link to sweater

        Amazon Essentials Women’s Fisherman Cable Long-Sleeve Crewneck Sweater … https://a.co/d/0aQ93HS

        And what I actually did was get the navy blue to wear now, and put the green and the dusty blue on my list.

        It’s inevitable that my sibling is going to use Amazon so I was looking there specifically for my wish list.

    • Anon

      I ask for things like bath bombs, hand cream, warm socks, chocolates, tea. All of this stuff is consumable and it doesn’t matter to me if it’s splurgy or the absolutely top of the line, plus there are options in many price ranges. Like sure I might get myself an insane hand cream that costs an arm and a leg sometimes on a lark, but I’m also going to use up the tube my aunt found at target.

    • Vicky Austin

      This is a great question and one I thought about frequently when I was a DINK and my sisters were in college!

      Books for sure, as well as DVD movies (usually ones we’d loved as kids together that I wanted in my permanent grown-up collection).
      I loved receiving those little grow kits with different herbs, too.
      Hats, scarves and gloves if those are needed in your life. I can always use a pair of 99c gloves for running/walking the dog/taking the garbage out. Or fun, warm socks. I’m picky about my slippers but if the recipient isn’t, that could be good too.
      Small kitchen items like an ice cream scoop, new can opener, garlic press (have received two from my husband in our relationship, although one was admittedly post DINK-dom and a sports car among garlic presses), kitchen towels, oven mitts (mine take a beating and can usually stand to be replaced every year or two), pot holders. Heck, I’d be glad to ask for a single glass storage jar of the kind I use for flours ($10 at the most). Maybe two.

      This is slightly separate, but one of the things I’m giving my best friend this year is an “annotated” copy of a book I loved that she also expressed interest in reading. I’ll buy it, mark it up with my notes, and then send it to her to mark up herself. Probably for a very specific type of relationship, but I’m so excited to give it to her!

    • Anon

      Goodr or Tifosi sunglasses
      Running gloves
      Foam roller
      Yoga mat
      375 mL of Double Oaked
      Bitters
      Orgeat
      Ice cube molds

      Yep I’m a drinker with a running problem. Buying $20 or $25 items for me is easy.

      • Anon

        Even less expensive:

        World Market has a simple pack of Monin syrups for $9.99
        Trader Joe’s body butter, $5.99

    • Worried

      Many of the gadgets I’ve received, such as a really neat can opener (over ten years ago, and going strong) that is electric and circles the can seamlessly, spatulas, a second garlic press, kitchen towels, etc… are useful. Even if my spouse and I find, let’s say that the vegetable peeler doesn’t work, we at least tried it for a while and had an extra. Other useful inexpensive items such as mini flashlights, pens and notebooks are fun too. My family doesn’t really do gifts except for the kiddos (my nieces and nephew), while my husbands family does gifts of around Fifty dollars or less, and it’s entirely dependant on if we see them over the holidays.(there are four of them, so not too many people) If they are away we don’t seem to exchange gifts. I buy friends mostly local consumable— honey, tea..or a face mask /hand cream type gifts, which can also be an inexpensive version or a pricier version.

      • pugsnbourbon

        Flashlights are BIG in my family. They are my dad’s love language.

        • Vicky Austin

          Pugs, I swear sometimes we are siblings. Didn’t we both post once about our parents’ love affair with gallon ice cream buckets for every possible household use?

          • Walnut

            I still instinctively nearly pull over when I see a random 5 gallon bucket in a ditch or in the berm of a street and don’t even get me started about the merits of a “Really good box”.

            Back on the topic of the original thread, ask for a first aid kit, disaster prep emergency kit and car first aid/safety/mechanical kits.

          • pugsnbourbon

            We’re partial to the large country-crock containers, but really anything is fair game :)

    • pugsnbourbon

      My hobby is not very expensive so I ask for supplies (paper, ink, etc).

    • Anon8

      – LL Bean boat and tote. Seriously can’t believe how I ever lived without one of these and the medium one is only $35
      – Wall calendar or paper planner
      – Reusable shopping bags, specifically Baggu are my favorite
      – Cook books
      – Fancyish tea or coffee

  5. Anon

    What’s the quality like at Banana Republic Factory? Could I build a whole work wardrobe from there? Am trying to budget and starting from scratch…

    • Vicky Austin

      Yes, certainly! I have a lot of pieces from there that are holding up beautifully, some after a solid year+ of weekly wears and washings (I baby them and don’t put them in the dryer though).

    • Anon

      Decide on your base neutrals and stick to those until you have enough for a week. Then you can add some colors!

      I know it’s not as exciting to buy gray pants and a gray shell rather than the paisley sweater, but it’s a lot easier to wear the gray shell over and over again, and you can add the paisley sweater later when it inevitably goes on clearance.

      The mistake I made when starting out was trying to buy everything at rock bottom clearance prices, and then I just had stuff that no one else wanted and nothing went together. I wish I could go back in time and be more intentional.

    • Worried

      Not all br outlets are as extensive as others. I’ve been trying to buy things at the local br factory store here, but it’s always ravaged…last time there were only five skirts in the whole store…I even asked and they confirmed this. I can’t order online as br factory is not available online in Canada. I am slowly rebuilding a vastly purged wardrobe with bits left here and there and lots of wardrobe holes and it’s hard…I keep repeating things and the basic as are wearing out. I’m restocking my wardrobe slowly and it’s taking more mental energy than it should. I had high hopes for br factory, but it hasn’t yet materialized. I’ve had some great finds at tjmax (winners) in Canada. I found a j crew jacket for more than half price and an Eddie Bauer sweater fleece. Searching for stuff is a time suck though.

      • Worried

        Clarify from my odd auto corrects…Adding to say it was a jacket from the j crew website and that was over half off…around seventy dollars instead of 180.

  6. brokentoe

    More on gifting ideas: if anyone has men on their list who wear dress or casual-ish button down shirts, Costco has 100% cotton, no-iron shirts that are only $24.99 each. Ordered a few more for DH and I am struck by how well they are made, hold up through the wash, and don’t really wrinkle.

    • booties

      Yup, those have been a staple amongst my male family members for years. Great deal.

  7. Emma

    I’m mid-twenties trying to build a work wardrobe from scratch. I’d like the wardrobe look expensive but effortless (more blouses and chinos versus suits or button-downs), and to be as budget-friendly possible while still good quality. What brands would you all recommend?

    • Vicky Austin

      See above – Banana factory or J. Crew factory have had great quality the last couple years. Don’t buy anything full price, of course.

    • AIMS

      I am wearing Uniqlo pants today and was just thinking about how much I like them (over and above any of my more expensive pants). They’re washable but I get them dry cleaned because I think that keeps them looking better (I like the sharp crease and can’t recreate).

      If you have any nice thrift stores in your area – check those for reasonably priced but nice cashmere sweaters. I still have the ones I bought in law school and they look better than the ones I bought in regular stores more recently.

    • No Face

      Thrift stores in affluent areas are your friend here. I have a lot of banana republic, j crew, and Ann Taylor bought used. Quince is a good source for new basics.

    • Anon

      I buy a lot of Ann Taylor, Banana Republic and JCrew. I’d wait and buy a ton on Black Friday.

    • Anon

      I would also look at higher end stuff second hand, at places like Poshmark or The Real Real (allows returns). You can find some good quality stuff that ends up being about the same price as mall brands but ends up lasting longer.

    • Anon

      I’ve had good luck with thredUP. Lots of Ann Taylor, loft, banana republic, J. Crew, etc. either new with tags or like new.

  8. Anon

    I am bringing an appetizer to a small dinner party tomorrow, and don’t really have any ideas. Any suggestions? Bonus points for easy recipes, and it must be vegetarian.

    • Anon

      A very very easy recipe is to get a block of cream cheese and a jar of pepper jelly. Pour the pepper jelly on top of the cream cheese and serve with crackers!

      I also love the little puff pastry apps at Trader Joe’s if you have one near.

      • Anon

        I love that app and always look forward to seeing it on the table when I go to a party.

        • Anon

          Me too, and I especially love it with unusual or local pepper jellies (though the classic flavor is also delicious)!

      • Anon

        Likewise, i like mixing cream cheese and crab meet and dumbing a jar of cocktail sauce on top and serving with crackers

    • AIMS

      Whole Foods sells Brie in Puff Pastry that you can bake right before the party and bring.

      • Anon

        PSA that Brie is rarely vegetarian. Some of it is, but a lot uses traditional rennet.

    • Anon 2.0

      I love a big bowl of mixed olives in a vinaigrette or a small relish tray.

    • Anon

      I mentioned pigs in a blanket (lil smokies wrapped in Pilsbury crescent dough) the other day, and someone suggested boncini/mozzarella + pesto or tomato sauce wrapped in crescent dough. I am going to try this soon. I’m planning to just cut string cheese into bite size pieces – maybe 4 or 5 per stick? – and use jarred pesto.

    • Anon8

      Spicy peanut dip with veggies is always a hit with my crowd. There are plenty of recipes online, usually a combo of peanut butter, sriacha, ginger and soy sauce. I serve with bell peppers, cucumber and baby carrots.

  9. Anonymous

    Help! I just lateraled to a firm. I’m an associate. I am signed up to attend a happy hour for in house counsel attorneys who work in our county. I was just told today that no one else from the firm can go and I’m going to need to give a welcome speech. I was already nervous about meeting a lot of strangers and I just am not sure what to say, or what’s a good opener question to people other than where they work? I finished law school online and the last In person happy hour kind of event I went to was when I was a 1L. I know I need to get better at this but I was hoping to watch and learn today… any tips appreciated!

    • Cat

      So is this like your firm is sponsoring an ACC event? You don’t need to talk for more than a minute. Introduce yourself, your role / practice area at your firm, thank everyone for coming, and then do your best to mingle and meet the attendees.

  10. Dating expectations

    On this morning’s thread a few people responded to a poster saying if you are not ‘super excited’ by the third date to see someone then don’t make the effort. It caught me off guard because I never really expected to be ‘super excited’ about someone I was just starting to get to know/starting to date. Is that how many people approach things? Doesn’t it take time for attraction to build? Isn’t it natural to take a while to get to know someone before you know if they are right for you?

    I’m not saying lower your standards (because that seems to be the response to these kinds of posts). DH is kind, fit, educated/employed. I learned all those things in the first date but it definitely took about 8 dates before there was a real spark and we developed a physical relationship. And we’re both pretty physical (like 3 times a day) once the connection was there so it’s not like it’s an asexual situation. I’d say I definitely went on at least 5-6 dates before I made a decision about someone – obviously less if there was some reason not to like them but it was more like continue if there wasn’t a reason to stop.

    • Anon

      My opinion, YMMV: you can assess at the end of the third date whether or not there is potential. Now, if the guy is a jerk or has huge problems, don’t bother, but give it a few tries for chemistry.

      This also depends on a person’s inmate level of enthusiasm. If you’re “reasonably happy” to see him and “reasonably happy” also describes how you feel about brunch with your BFF, keep dating him! But if you feel “blah” about the thought of seeing him after your third date and you’re normally very excited for a fourth date, maybe call it quits.

      • Clara

        I felt that after 3 dates I should have a stronger opinion of him, negative or positive, and in the past I’ve made the mistake of going on 5+ dates with someone I was meh on and it was always pointless.

    • Anon

      I guess for me it was the opposite, it was exciting until I got to know people and had reasons to dislike them. There’s also physical attraction vs seeing someone as a viable long term romantic partner. If I didn’t immediately want to get physical with someone then I didn’t go out with them again. But I think all approaches are valid! It’s about whatever works for you.

    • Clara

      I’m the poster from this morning and I did end up cancelling it. Honestly I probably shouldn’t have jumped into something physical with him. I do get things taking time to build but my previous relationships have been people who I was fairly excited to meet even from the beginning. Or at least I felt like if I went there I would soon feel better and more social, and I didn’t feel that way here. He’s a very nice, smart guy but I think we are not a match.

    • Duckles

      There’s a difference between getting to know someone slowly, as friends, and realizing you have chemistry, and going on multiple dates where it’s always “date” structure and they’re a stranger. If I don’t want to kiss someone by the second date, I’ve learned I never will by the fourth, either. I don’t honestly believe chemistry grows in true dating.

  11. anonymous

    PSA Ladies: Please, please, please reconsider using language that reinforces the racist, cis-normative patriarchy. Lots of a talk in this thread about “boys” and “girls” without (apparently) even a thought given to the Catholic Church’s historical exclusion and torture of tr*ns, non-binary, and other GNC persons.

    • Anon

      Huh? The question was about whether the Catholic Church allows women and girls to serve in certain roles because the OP was a woman who was wondering if she’d be serving in certain roles if she attends. Not wanting a treatise on gender in the Catholic Church??

    • roxie

      my sense is tr*ns folks aren’t even welcome in the church and the convo was specifically about who can serve in certain roles; using boys and girls as the example is necessary.
      Like I can’t tell if this comment is a joke?

      • pugsnbourbon

        My spidey-sense tells me it’s a weird trolling attempt.
        Bizarrely, my wife’s Catholic high school found our NEW address – where we’ve lived for all of three months – and sends her mail (fundraising, of course) with her deadname. She thinks it’s hilarious and trashes it immediately.

    • Anon

      How would you word it? There used to be only altar boys before they let girls in. They are now called altar servers which refers to everybody. Having trouble figuring out what you mean.

      • Anonymous

        They don’t “mean” anything. They were looking for an opportunity to scold for purportedly exclusionary language even if it the scolding doesn’t fit the situation.

    • Anonymous

      If only you could collapse the conversation and scroll down instead of making offensive comments.

  12. OP

    (Hopefully) fun question: Most affectionate dog breeds? Labs and goldens are on the list, but what else should we consider

    • pugsnbourbon

      Pugs are known as velcro dogs for a reason. If our girl is awake, she must either be touching (preferred) or in sight of my wife.

    • Sallyanne

      Honestly my poodle mixed mutt from the Humane Society is the sweetest guy ever. He just wants to be snuggled all day and night. While some breeds are known to be more affectionate than others, I think they each have individual personalities and you just don’t know what you’re going to get.

      • Anon

        Counter: I love my poodle mix, but she is not affectionate, much to my dismay! We actually joke that she is mixed with cat, because she does not want to be touched except for very select times during the day!

      • KL

        +1. Most affectionate dog I’ve ever seen is my pit-mix rescue. She loves to be spooned every night.

        • Vicky Austin

          A friend of mine had two sweet pit mixes and they were the biggest cuddlers ever.

    • Anon8

      Poodles! My standard poodle is a total velcro dog. I WFH and she will literally drape herself across my lap while I’m working. My husband and the dog spoon while they watch TV on the couch, haha.

      That said, I agree with Sallyanne that oftentimes it comes down to individual personalities. My sister has two goldens– one of them basically does her own thing and prefers to sleep by herself in the living room and the other thinks he’s a lap dog and wishes he could be carried around even though he’s approaching 70 pounds.

      • Anon

        When I have male and female dogs at the same time, the males have always been the snugglers and the females a bit more independent.

    • anonypotamus

      Boxers! Definitely high energy, but they are the most loveable, cuddly, affectionate dogs. We have two and they make us laugh every day – total clowns/goobers

    • Anon

      I have an English Bulldog now, and he’s affectionate but on his own terms, which may come from being a rescue & who knows what his life was like before. And his affection involves drool!

      I grew up with tons of dogs, and our most affectionate dog was a cocker spaniel mix. She was lovely and just wanted to be near you in any way possible.

      Second place goes to my late, great Airedale Terrier. Every person or dog he met was the most exciting person/dog he’d ever met in his entire life, and he couldn’t wait to enthusiastically love them in every physical way possible. He was so wonderful to come home to after a tough day.

    • Anonymous

      You must know that this is controversial? Like no one can be this out of touch. Go to a shelter. See who’s friendly. Adopt.

      • OP

        Never said we weren’t going to adopt. The dogs at shelters have breeds too, even if they often have more than one. Obviously it isn’t always clear what breed(s) a pup at a shelter is, but knowing that a hyper-independent breed probably isn’t a good fit for us helps make sure that we adopt a dog that will be happy with our family.

  13. Anon

    Thanks to the NOXGear poster earlier this week. I drive at what is dusk this week, after being a daylight driver all summer and until now. OMFG — it is so hard to see walkers and runners. Bikes don’t have to have lights, but many do. But walkers and runners — OMG I cannot see you and it scares me so much. Even if you have a headlamp, I can’t easily see you from behind or unless I’m heading towards you. I have a dog that I walk when I get home from work and in the morning (but there is almost no traffic then). I just ordered the light kit and headlamps for my whole family.

    • Anon

      I LOVE Noxgear! A random stranger thanked me for wearing it: she was pulling out of her driveway and said she could easily see me running towards her.

    • Anonymous

      I honestly want to buy a bunch and start passing them out in my neighborhood, because OMG so many people that walk their dogs after dark wearing dark clothing with tiny/no lights. Even worse, some that walk in the street when we have perfectly good sidewalks. It gives me anxiety.

      • booties

        I am totally the same. It makes me anxious too. I passed by half a dozen walker/runners in the street just today. Driving home. At rush hour. That I could barely see….

        Why in the street… at rush hour… in dark clothes… why why why.

    • MagicUnicorn

      That was me! Glad it was helpful.

      Stay safe out there and have fun, everyone!

    • lost academic

      They make them for so many purposes – we use TailLights for horses just in case as well! Reflective strips are great but lights are better.

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