Coffee Break – Pacific Avenue Slouchy Tote

85 Comments

1. This tote looks like what my Grandmother had in the 1970’s. It looks like a mattress pad! I am too young to be schlepping this tote around at my age.

   1. EXACTLY — and although I am not young, I am too young for this.

2. I love the bag. On another note, I used to be in a group where women just can’t survive. I found out after I left there that seven women before me had quit in the last five or so years. Today, I found out that a woman who started there right as I was leaving is also quitting. It’s so frustrating to me because it is sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy: you think women can’t cut it there, so you treat them badly, so they leave. Ugh.

   1. Sigh. My first job was in a department that had gone through 13 associates in 8 years. No, I didn’t stay there either.

   2. I’m the fourth in my position in five years, and they started recruiting to find my replacement in January. The funny part was, I wasn’t actively looking for a job until after I found out about the recruiting…

   3. With ya — 4 women in 3 years have left my group, ranging from very senior to relatively junior. I’m not treated badly and I don’t think they were; it’s more a statement of how their priorities, especially after children, didn’t mesh with Biglaw priorities. In contrast, no men left my group voluntarily during the same time period.

      1. Yeah, I left a job a few weeks ago and I quit on the same day the other woman in my office of under ten people. My two (female) predecessors stayed less than a year, and the only reason I stuck arond for as long as I did was because the economy is in the crapper. The office is really dysfunctional. The junior people are treated as minions. It was awful.

   4. You know the odd thing I’ve found in my short time practicing – I think men actually treat me better than the women do. I’ve read articles before about how women feel the need to compete against other women in big law, since few women make it to share partners compaerd to men. Sad. :(

3. I avoid Juicy goods on principle (the “principle” being something like anti–made-name-with-velour-tracksuit-with-a**-writing) but this bag has a nice classic look to it.

   I have a question about Paris: I’mlooking forward to my fourth trip there soon, and it’s been almost four years since the last. I somehow remember it being a sea of dark clothing. I usually pack predominantly dark clothes for traveling anyway, but am wondering how white pants would play in Paris in mid-to-late May. I’m not worried about seasonality so much as whether white would fit in/stick out. Not that I will ever be mistaken for a chic Parisienne…

   1. I agree with you about Juicy–I can’t buy that brand on principle. Although that bag is pretty nice.

      I was in Paris last May, and I brought mostly dark clothing. But from what I saw, people were wearing anything and everything, so I could have been more adventurous. However, it was also around 40 degrees–unseasonably cold–so white pants would have looked odd no matter what.

   2. I lived in Paris for a while and I wore anything and everything that looked cute. Paris is a big city. True, the french are fashionistas, but there will (like NYC and London) always be someone weirder looking than you.

4. You ladies gave me great advice about how to handle hating my job and then finding a new job, so I’m happy to share that I found a new job that I’m super excited about!

   I’ve given my two weeks notice, but I need to have one last conversation with my boss to tie up loose ends re compensation… What is standard? In addition to my salary I get what is essentially a commission (a percentage of money coming in earned because of me) which is normally paid quarterly (so June 1 is the next time I’d be expecting it). I plan to ask for that $ for April 1 through May 15 plus my two weeks vacation that I didn’t take this year, but I’m not sure what is typical.

   This is a tiny firm, so there’s no HR and no one to ask.

   Thanks again ladies!

   1. First, read your policies and procedures, to see if these issues are addressed. They often are. But, your proposal sounds reasonable. As for your approach, channel confidence and dont “ask.” Just confirm your expectation that you will receive your portion of the commission and your unused vacation.

      1. “As for your approach, channel confidence and dont “ask.” Just confirm your expectation that you will receive your portion of the commission and your unused vacation.”

         THIS, big time!!!

5. Job Search Threadjack-

   I’m a 2010 law school graduate (passed July bar) who took a year off to do something not law related and temporary by design (well, more like I didn’t have a job lined up and this fell into my lap). Now I’m looking to start applying to firms, but without a SA position and no experience to be considered a “lateral” not sure of how to even begin such a process. Anyone ever do something like this, or have any tips about how to do it? My career services office has just cut me off, they are trying to focus on new victims and I’m left dazed and confused.

   1. If your temporary work was something even peripherally related to the legal area you want to work in (ie, you worked at a corporation in their HR department and now you are seeking work in employee benefits, or you worked at a nonprofit and are now looking for work in trusts and estates, etc), I would suggest treating it as the employer would treat a clerkship. Most firms have established policies for giving a year’s credit on the partnership track for a judicial clerkship, or bumping up pay.

      If it wasn’t at all related (you pumped gas/sold shoes/nannied/played professional sports and now want to work in insurance litigation), be honest with your potential employers- the economy was tough, you got X, Y and Z valuable experience instead of sitting on the shelf for a year, and now you are willing to start off as a first year associate with appropriate comp and partnership track status.

      I’d also look into attending workshops, CLEs, and doing pro bono work or volunteer work with legal organizations, especially the kind of organizations that attract lots of established lawyers who might be good networking contacts. If you meet somebody who seems interested in you, ask for their help – bring your resume, ask for advice, ask who you should contact next and if they know anyone who might be hiring.

   2. Personal connections- make sure every single lawyer you know, every friend’s parent, every neighbor, knows you are looking. Small firms in your town that might let you work for free.

      Without knowing what you’ve been doing, its hard to give any more concrete tips. You’re right, it is a hard situation.

6. Looking for advice – I’m a junior to mid level tax associate at a regional firm, and there is no work with none expected in the next few months. I’m trying to figure out how to get something meaningful professionally out of this slow time.

   I’ve called my pro bono clients, but they either aren’t getting back to me or don’t have any need for my help right now. I’ve got several pro bono clients, and am not really looking to take on more. I’ve joined a couple of firm committees, but they work really slowly. The head of my section and my supervisor haven’t been very helpful at generating other ideas.

   Any thoughts for writing topics, CLEs, classes, social networking ideas, etc that I could fit in to a one to two month window?

   1. Write some case notes or case briefs on recent relevant tax cases for your local bar journal or newsletter. (Or non-tax cases which might have some tax implications). Our bar journal is always soliciting articles and writing opportunities.
      Offer a free seminar at your local library/community center on some topic of interest.
      Contact your local law school’s tax professors and see if they would have you as a “guest speaker” for one of their courses.
      Take some CLEs, writing or oral advocacy courses.
      Are there any current clients willing to have you on as a “in-house” exchange a few times a week, so you can gain some in-house experience or perspective?
      Are there other practice areas in your firm that need help (where you could learn a new subject matter or get some trial experience)?

   2. Can you do pro bono work with a clinic, where you aren’t getting new clients but rather doing intake, providing assistance on existing cases, etc, with no expectation of seeing the case through if you get busy again? Or perhaps you could volunteer with a street law program?

      Otherwise, I’d suggest attending enough CLE to fulfill all your required credits for the next reporting period. I also suggest joining the city/state bar association committees for your practice group and attending events and lectures.

      I don’t know anything about tax law, so I can’t suggest writing topics, but I think writing an article is a great idea. If you have a colleague who’s also slow, you could co-write.

   3. My old standby: can you work on your firm’s precedents? In my experience, there always seems to be a need for people to do that, and it will be remembered later as a meaningful contribution to the common good…

      1. Can you explain to a young lawyer what that means?

         1. Sorry, I mean working on your firm’s standard form documents or templates. A lot of firms have standard form agreements for various situations, or sets of clauses that they can drop into agreements in certain situations, or even standard memoranda that they can send to clients to explain how government departments work, etc. Having these standard forms really adds to efficiency. However, when the firm is busy (particularly in smaller firms that don’t have designated knowledge management lawyers), no-one tends to work on these standard forms – they always get put on the back burner. So if you are not busy, you might offer to update the firm’s standard forms, or if you are a tax associate, offer to draft or update a standard set of tax representations and warranties for an asset purchase agreement, etc.

   4. It sounds like you have the right idea. After all of those great things, take a vacation. You’ll likely be busy again in no time.

   5. Thanks! There are some great ideas here. I actually have a good friend who probably would love it if I did some pro bono intake for her, and I will definitely call up my former professors and see if I can help out with anything.

      I would also like to write an article, and I’m fishing for topics. I’ll let you know if anything comes of it.

      Thanks again!

   6. I’d suggest taking a vacation during this downtime and working extra during the up time.

7. How do you handle an offer from a law firm when you know one of the lawyers at the firm who you would inevitably end up working with has a somewhat negative reputation in the legal community for being a less than stellar attorney, taking into account the poor economy?

   1. Depends if you are currently employed, I think. If you are currently employed and mildly happy I’d wait it out. If this is a first job type thing, I’d evaluate how many other feelers I have out and likely take it if I didn’t have other viable options. Like others have said, it much easier to find work when you’re already working.

   2. Been there, done that. If you need the job, take it knowing you’ll only be there a short time.

      When I interviewed at my next firm, a few people brought it up. I’d been advised to NEVER speak badly of a previous employer in interviews, so I’d respond with a few seconds of silence to tacitly acknowledge the attorney’s reputation and give an example of a project I’d worked on.

      I even had one interviewer respond during my silence with “hey, I understand, everyone’s got to eat.” I couldn’t help myself and broke a smile (horrible poker-face here). Anyway, I got the job.

      Fast forward a few years, and I was interviewing at another firm. The first interviewer of the day saw that attorney’s name on my resume and started a conversation about how he was a “friend of the firm” and that they really liked working with him. I forced myself to complete the day-long interview out of professional courtesy but never considered accepting the offer.

      1. No, you should never trash a former employer. But if you know you’re interviewing with someone that doesn’t have a positive feeling about a prior boss, you need to be honest. It lets your interviewer know that you share their judgment about the former boss. You can say something like, “There was a personality clash” or “I’m not sure I was the right fit for that firm” or “Our work styles didn’t mesh very well.”

         There are a lot of ways you can say, “I get it. That guy was crazy! What was I thinking,” without trashing him.

8. Semi-regular poster, but anon for this.

   I am not taking the bar until next year, but I am worried about the character and fitness portion because I have a deferred judgment for theft on my record. The incident occurred about three years ago, was a one time mistake which I learned from and is the only thing on my record, but still… By the time I get to the application, I will have sealed my record, but will still have to disclose this fact. Will this bar me from passing? Do you ladies have any suggestions about how best to phrase it on my application/explanation?

   1. Explain all circumstances fully, and you’ll almost certainly be fine. Lie in any way, leave details out, or obfuscate, and it will hurt you. They will check.

      1. Second this.

         1. Agreed. It’s like government background checks: for the most part, they don’t care what you did (er, assuming “what you did” wasn’t inciting an insurrection) as long as you tell them about it.

   2. You’ll be fine. Just disclose everything fully. I knew a guy who drove his car into a pedestrian while drunk fall of his 3L year. He lost his driver’s license, but passed the bar.

      1. A DUI is attributable to one of two things: lack of judgment or alcoholism. On the other hand, a theft is dishonest and considered to be a bigger issue, especially as it really wan’t that long ago.

         1. Did you miss the part about him driving his car into a pedestrian? It was a felony.

      2. This surprises me. I had a friend who got a DUI fall of his 3L year and he did not pass character and fitness. In fact, he still hasn’t been admitted. Though to be fair, I think he had some minor incidents on his record from before law school (another DUI maybe?) that likely factored in as well.

   3. You should be fine as long as you disclose. I know of one person who did not get admitted based on character because he lied about a stupid arrest. I think everyone understands that young people make mistakes.

   4. Thank you all for ending the panic about this. Now back to our regularly scheduled panic about the tax exam I have first thing tomorrow morning. :-D

      1. @Semi-Regular: Just make sure you complete the C&F portion *early* — if they have additional questions, you want to have enough time to submit whatever else they ask for so that you can still be sworn in with the rest of your class (see, not only are you going to be fine with C&F, but you’re going to pass the bar, too!).

         Good luck with the Tax exam!

      2. I would also look into the particular state where you are applying. Some are MUCH stricter than others. My friend actually had to hire a lawyer to help her get into the Florida bar, but the rap sheet was much longer in that instance (she eventually got in).

      3. Agree with all of the above. One other thing to consider (not to worry you but just to address) is your law school application. A lot of schools inquire about your crim history on the application. The app is a sworn statement. If you didn’t disclose this on your app and there was a question about it, you should talk to someone in your school ASAP.

         They can help you deal with it, but you will need to deal with it, if it applies.
         Good luck!

   5. Call up the bar of interest and ask if the theft is likely to be a problem. As NYC pointed out, Florida is VERY strict in almost all respects. I know someone who took almost three years to be barred here with a relatively minor infraction. If you have some flexibility and find out that’s the case with the state of interest, it might be worth it to move to an easier state until the theft is so remote in time that it will be less of an issue.

   6. If you know which state you want to practice in, call their Bar Association. The only people who can give good advice on this are there. The rest of us are just guessing.

      1. Call the Bar. But disclose, disclose, disclose. Even if sealed, expunged, etc. They will find out. And then you will have lied on your application. I know someone still trying to get into the Bar for an “omission” on her app.

   7. I agree with the other posters that it’s probably fine as long as you’re honest and show that it was a one-time stupid mistake. But, it might help you to go ahead and try to talk to a senior member of the bar (any well seasoned attorney that you might know, or, if you don’t know any, ask a senior law professor for either advice or to recommend someone) about it. At least in my state, each bar applicant has a “character and fitness interview” with a senior bar member- everyone has to do it, but it’s really to address things like this. So any attorney who has given these interviews should have a good idea of how the bar will look at something like this and should have suggestions on how to best present and explain it.

9. If you end up taking the job, try to work with this person as little as possible and document as much as possible to CYA.

   1. Also try not to work with him too much so you don’t learn any of his bad lawyering habits.

10. I just started a new job but my insurance doesn’t kick in until next month. COBRA from my last firm is ridiculous. Anyone have any suggestions for short term catastrophic coverage only? I would appreciate any suggestions you would be willing to provide. Thank you!

    1. My university’s alumni association offers this kind of coverage. Your local bar association, or the ABA, might too.

    2. Blue Cross Blue Shield – although I don’t know if options vary by state. I’ve done the Simply Blue plan – $100/month-ish, with a high deductible plan.

    3. You don’t have to elect COBRA unless you need it. You have 60 or 90 days to decide, I can’t remember which. If in that time it turns out you need it, you elect it, and pay from the day you were eligible. I works like catastrophic insurance for free, until you need it.

       1. this exactly – you can wait out the new coverage and if something catastrophic happens you can pay cobra at that time — I have actually done this myself

11. I need some advice on an appropriate engagement gift. I have an engagement party to attend next week, where I’m the maid of honor. I was thinking of giving the bride and groom a giftcard for gasoline for their upcoming move (cross-country). Is that too impersonal? I was going to get a very nice card and put it in there, but I fear that since I’m part of the bridal party I should do something that seems more about them as a couple.

    If a gas giftcard isn’t appropriate, does anyone have any suggestions for appropriate gifts?

    Thanks!

    1. I think that’s a great idea! It shows that you know about their lives, its unique and shows that you put some thought into it, and it would just be a lot of help! I really would have been thrilled to get something like that. You can do something more meaningful, if you want, for the wedding, but I think that’s totally appropriate.

    2. That sounds great to me.

    3. I actually think it is a personal, not impersonal gift. You know they will need it for their move. Sounds great.

    4. Have they registered yet? That would be the first place I’d look.
       If not, while I do like the idea of giving them something to help with their upcoming trip, a gasoline card seems kind of odd. I’m all for practical gifts, but gasoline is almost too practical. Is there any way you could find out what hotels they’re staying at along the way and get them upgraded to a nicer room and/or a gift certificate for room service? Or if they have time to stop along the way and are at all outdoorsy, a pass to the National Parks?

       1. A pass to the National Parks is an awesome idea.

    5. With gas prices so high and all, I think that’s an awesome, thoughtful gift that I would personally really appreciate getting if I were moving across the country. But seeing Jay’s response makes me think that it depends on how practical the bride and groom are and whether _they_ would think it odd or not. Reminds me of the recent thread about giving cash as a wedding pressent…

       1. These are some really good ideas; I especially like the National Parks idea. They’ll be driving to the PNW, and I bet they’d really enjoy that opportunity.
          Thanks, ladies!

          1. If you wanted to personalize it a little more, you give them a ‘road trip survival’ bag with the gasoline gift card. Put together a CD of road trip music (or iTunes gift card with suggested songs to download), a book on tape for them to listen to, some of their favorite snacks, a Starbucks gift card, eye mask for the non-driver to snooze with, etc.

             1. Love this idea! I think it’s the best one yet. Personal and practical!

             2. I was just going to suggest something like this! I think gas card + trip goodies is a really excellent gift idea. Book on tape – it’s a little old, but David Sedaris’ Me Talk Pretty Someday had the boyfriend and I laughing so hard on a roadtrip, we missed our exit. Not sure if that’s a plus or a minus in this case.

          2. Make sure they have the time though. I’ve moved cross-country a few times. With all of the packing and loading and stress, we just wanted to get to where we were going as fast as possible. Personally I can’t imagine spending much time in a park on the way, unless we were in our own car, not worried about the moving truck (parking it and knowing if someone steals it they get everything you own is a bit stressful), and also not worried about getting there within a specified time frame. Also, if they will be in the truck, it’s possible driving it in and out of a national park could be problematic, i.e., if the roads are hilly or narrow. Personally, I would have really appreciated the gas card! Hotels are hard to predict, you never know for sure where you will get to at the end of one particular day.

    6. I actually think that’s a really thoughtful and appropriate idea. From my personal experience, you really don’t need to give lavish engagement gifts. I think that gift card with a nice card is perfect.

    7. I personally think it’s way too impersonal. I treasure each of the wedding gifts we received (which was few – very small wedding and social group), and I don’t think consumables are appropriate. At least if you gave cash, the couple could buy something they deemed appropriate (which in my case would have been something specific that I could attribute to the gift-givers), but a gas card? If you gave cash and they used it to fund their trip, cool. Maybe cash or an Amex/Visa gift card with a note re: your idea that they use it toward their trip. But not a gas card. My husband got a gas card as a present from his parents a few months ago (maybe Christmas), and we both thought it was really, really weird and assumed he was re-gifting it. Plus, it took forever for us to even find the right gas station to use it.

       1. BB, do you think that e-gifts should be just as personal as wedding gifts? Just wondering b/c, for example, I sent a friend flowers for an e-gift, and of course I would never just give flowers for a wedding gift.

          1. Just in my opinion, I think engagement gifts should be just as personal as wedding gifts, but I like to make them more fun and possibly off the registry. For instance, I got my friend a picnic set that had a special case containing a bottle of $$ champagne and two flutes. Granted, she informed me she didn’t really like champagne (which I’ll just chalk up to momentary bad judgment of an otherwise wonderful friend), but I still think it was an inspired gift for a romantic milestone.

             Personally, I like the idea of flowers as an engagement gift too!

             (When I responded originally I wasn’t really thinking of the distinction between engagement and wedding gifts. The whole gas card thing just really put me off.)

12. Does anyone know how to handle a wedding invite from an ex-boyfriend who broke up with me because he was not ready to get married, but now is to someone else? I had a lot of angst when he broke up with me (right after he graduated law school), b/c he needed more time. Now it is 5 years later, he has had time, and found another woman to marry. I never really got over him for a while, and now he is opening the old wound by inviting me to the wedding. There will be a lot of common law school friends there, but I can’t help but think that I will be viewed as the woman scorned, since he broke up with me, and is now trying to mend fences. I dated him for over a year and everyone thought we were going to get married. Help!

    1. This is one of those occasions where you politely decline, send a nice but not-expensive gift, and then post something on your Facebook page the day of the wedding about, “Congratulations to X and Y today! Wish I could be there with you on your special day today!” And leave it at that. No need to rub salt in your own wounds.

       FYI – and I am not saying this to rub salt in your wounds – it wasn’t about “needing time.” He wouldn’t have married you if he had had ten years to think about it. You weren’t “the one” for him, and it wasn’t meant to be. So no need to do the shoulda-coulda-woulda thing. Your “one” is still out there somewhere. :)

       1. Sounds like an awkward situation all around — what on earth is he thinking?

          The only reason to go is to out-shine the bride and that would be mean.

       2. I agree with you, Ann. Sara, just keep telling yourself he wasn’t the guy for you. You will find your prince charming!!

    2. The only thing to do is politely decline. You’re not an impartial observer in this situation and it’s not a place you need to put yourself in if it has opened wounds for you. I don’t think there’s any need to do anything further, including sending a gift.

       1. Yup. DECLINE. I would do so swiftly, with no gift, card, or explanation lol. No need to inflict pain on yourself.

    3. Don’t go. I don’t know if he really wants you to be there or if he just wanted to send you the invite as an FYI, and to give you notice in case you hear it from other people. Sorry to hear you are going through this. I hope you have moved on as well and are way over him.

    4. If you don’t want to go, don’t go and follow Ann’s advice above. You did not mention that you are still close friends with the groom, but just that several of your mutual friends will be there.

       But FYI- you will not be “viewed as the woman scorned.” The focus won’t be on you at all, but on the couple getting married. It is 5 years later, and most of the guests who will be there probably do not know you were ever in the picture, or if they do know, they will assume you would have gotten over it or moved on. The bride probably does not think your presence would be uncomfortable or a big deal for her, because if she did you probably would not have been invited.

       1. Or, go Debra Messing in The Wedding Date on him :) Or perhaps better just watch The Wedding Date.

    5. Send a card congratulating the happy couple.

       Then delete his number from your phone, unfriend him on facebook, and MOVE ON.

       1. Yes- great advice. I see absolutely no reason to go or to send a gift. You are not a friend and have no obligation to send anything, but a card would still be a good courtesy.

    6. Ha, wow, that’s very interesting that he invited you. Sara, I would not attend the wedding b/c I don’t think it’s going to make you feel better. Just RSVP no, you don’t have to give a reason, and send a gift and generic message “Wishing you the best” or something like that.

13. I think it looks more like a bowling ball bag. Does it come with matching shoes with the size marked on the back of the heel?

14. threadjack — I’m planning to stop by L’Occitane on my lunch hour to pick up a mother’s day gift and a treat for myself. Any suggestions for fave products? Open to hair care or skin care ideas. Thanks!

    1. Probably too late fro this answer – but I like the little tubes of shea butter hand lotion. They are great for the purse, car, etc.

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