Coffee Break – Pixel Scarf

Marc by Marc Jacobs - Pixel Glass Jersey Scarf (Neutral Grey Multi) - Accessories Zappos has some great Marc by Marc Joseph scarves on sale today, including this fun grey/black/white number. I like that it’s abstract but kind of striped, and I think it would be a great accessory for a lot of outfits. It was $58, now marked to $46.40 at Zappos. Marc by Marc Jacobs – Pixel Glass Jersey Scarf (Neutral Grey Multi) – Accessories

Readers, how often do you wear scarves in the summer? (Or at all?)



  1. Think you meant Marc Jacobs.

  2. Mary Ann Singleton :

    Long time reader, first time poster. I recently handed in my notice at my BigLaw job and will take some time off (finally!) before I start my new job. As I’m planning a roadtrip to the national parks in the west (Glacier, Yellowstone, Mt Saint Helens, Crater Lake), I have been thinking of investing in a Digital SLR camera instead of my regular point-and-shoot, and I’m excited to spend some time learning how to take better photos. Do you guys have any recommendations? I’m thinking of spending $500-$700, and I’m more or less a beginner with SLR cameras.

    • SF Bay Associate :

      No suggestions on cameras, but congratulations! Your trip sounds amazing!

    • Sounds really fun! I remember David Pogue doing some posts reviewing SLR cameras, you may want to search NYT for those.

    • I have done most of those national parks and am so excited for you – that will be such a fantastic trip!!! I can’t wait to find time in my schedule to make it back out west.

      As for camera recommendations, I received the Nikon Rebel (I forget which series/model number) for Christmas and think it’s the perfect camera for someone new to fancy photography equipment. It has a great automatic setting, but also a lot of really great features that you can slowly learn and add to your photography skills base. It was rated fairly well by Consumer Reports.

    • Check out for in-depth reviews and side-by-side comparisons. I love my Pentax K-x!

    • I recently got a Nikon D5100 and I *love* it. You can essentially use it as a point-and-click with all the automatic settings as you learn, so it’s not terrifying and intimidating (the way using a film SLR was back in the day). But it also has the functionality of a great DSLR and has some amazing video features, too.

    • I went on this trip to. It was amazing! I had a point and shoot camera also and took great pictures. If you want a new camera, fine, otherwise, you can make doo with your point and shoot. I am assuming you’re camera is a digital one.

    • I just got the Nikon D3100 — it’s their “entry-level” DSLR and runs ~$700 (Amazon has it with the kit lens for ~ $650). It’s a little lighter than their more professional models, BUT, the downside is that the D3100 and the D5100 don’t autofocus, so you’re limited to certain lenses if you want the autofocus.

      I really like it — the picture quality is great. My only ‘complaint’ is the autofocus issue. What I’ve heard over and over is that the lenses end up being more critical than the camera itself, so you may also want to invest in a few other lenses.

      I found Ken Rockwell’s website helpful as a starting point.

      Also, don’t forget used camera kits — I’ve heard good things about KEH and Adorama.

      BestBuy occasionally has sales, and I’ve seen the above mentioned Nikons at Costco as well.

      • I do like Ken Rockwell’s blog. If you have your eye on a model, search blogs about it…photographers are opinionated.

        Flickr is also a great resource, though difficult to find information.

        You can certainly get a better used camera, than new, but check how much its been used. The camera shop should be able to tell you if it was a heavily used camera or not. Cameras have a lifespan that eventually expires.

        • Second Ken Rockwell’s blog. He’s my first source when I’m considering new photography equipment.

      • I just bought this camera a couple of weeks ago as well after playing with a few options at B&H in person. Something about this one made me feel most comfortable – if you can go and play around with them in person I’d highly recommend that. So far I’ve been shooting entirely in automatic or one of the preset modes (sport, closeup, etc) and the pictures are about 10 times better than the ones I was getting with my high end point and shoot.

        To clarify what Rani said – the camera BODY doesn’t have an autofocus motor. The lens it comes with has the motor in the lens, as do many others. Most lenses that don’t have their own autofocus motor – you can still use them but you have to focus manually. Personally, I find the kit lens to be great and I think it will be a while until I am ready to expand my lens collection, both for budgetary reasons and because I still have no idea what I’m doing with the camera.

        PS – so jealous of your trip! I’m hoping to do something similar after I take the bar in a year :)

    • I recently gave a friend advice (she asked something similar). Here’s my email to her, slightly edited:
      This camera would probably be an excellent starting camera:

      It fits your budget and does come with a lens that I think would serve you just fine for awhile.
      This lens could be added on and probably be the only lens you need:
      Now, its aperture is f/3.5; you can get nice effects with 3.5 and its a lot more expensive to find an f/stop that is lower than that (and the more you can zoom, the more versatile the lens is if you’re not going to carry a lot of lenses). This lens in particular covers basically everything you would ever need in terms of focal length unless you wanted to get into really specialized nature photography.
      If you really wanted to add a lens to really do the blurry background, this is an inexpensive lens that would be great for that:
      Its a fixed focal length, but 50mm is considered a standard length.

      This is another option that seems good:
      And this lens is similar to the one I recommended above:

      I’m not that familiar with Sony cameras but I’ve heard good things.

      I’m sure Nikon would have a similar package to the Canon, and that would be worth considering.

      Some considerations for a camera system:
      You are buying into a system (whether you know it right now) not just a camera. If you like photography, you can add on lenses, flashes, etc. And 5 yrs down the line, or 10, you might decide to upgrade your camera body. You won’t want to get new lenses and other accessories, so you will buy one made by the same manufacturer as your previous. That’s just kind of how it works for most people.

      Canon and Nikon are safe bets and have been around forever with SLRs and now DSLRs. There are lots of off-brand accessories (by that I mean lenses and other accessories that are made by manufacturers to work with Canon and Nikon cameras — Sigma and Tamron are two examples). It used to be these off brands weren’t thought of that highly but now a lot of photographers will use these because they are cheaper and the quality is very good.

      Sony really becamse a serious contender for DSLRs maybe 5 yrs ago or less. It has some interesting technology – for instance, there is image stabilization (a really nice feature for most photographers) in the camera body. For canon, that technology is “extra” – included in some lenses for more money. It seems like Sony is also targeting the more casual photographer who wants good quality. So I’d seriously consider Sony if I were you.
      Whatever you pick, go to a store and feel it – some cameras are larger (which I prefer) and others are more compact (which you may prefer if you have small hands).

    • no camera advice either, just wanted to say have a great trip!! it’s so beautiful out there, you’ll love it! congrats!

      • Mary Ann Singleton :

        Thank you all so much! I will check out all your helpful website and camera recommendations.

    • I have a Nikon D3000 and I am happy with it. It’s on the cheaper end, but has all the features you need, inc image stabilization. This being said, an SLR does not make a *huge* difference from a good point-and-shoot when you are taking pictures of landscapes in the daylight (unless you are already very experienced and also use a tripod and a polarizing filter, which may give you more opportunities). An SLR would be nice if you also intend to take portraits of your travel companions or of locals, or if you are going to be taking pictures of wildlife.

  3. not really :

    I don’t usually wear scarves in the summer, mostly because I just don’t know how. In the spring or fall, I’ll throw a light-weight scarf on when I’m wearing a thinner shirt and want a bit of extra warmth. But the summer? Do I pair it with a T? Do I save it for the rare chilly nights?

    How does one wear a scarf in the summer without looking out of place and without roasting?

    • Diana Barry :

      I don’t wear them in the summer either. Too hot! I think they look a little bit hipster-trying-too-hard in the summer.

    • Hermes has a couple of how-to-wear-your-scarf PDFs available on their website. Lots of great suggestions there, and they’re very easy to follow.

      • Kanye East – sweet tip about the Hermes PDFs! Thank you!

        I do use scarves in the summer – but mostly tied on to the strap of my handbag in a big fluffy bow. I have one black and white polka dot scarf that I tie on to my white purse when I am wearing a black suit. I feel it pulls the whole look together by brightening up a dark suit, and livens up my handbag.

    • I think the key is to find summer weight scarves, i.e., ones that are not colr-weather appropriate both in material and style.

      Start smaller/thinner. Play with proportions. I think a slouchy v neck and skinny scarf wrapped around the neck is a really cute look. Obviously not for a 95 degree day, but perfectly comfy when it’s 84.

      • This comment just makes me sad. It won’t be 84 during the day here for another 2 months, at least. In fact, I’d kill for just 95 degrees outside. Scarves in the summer in Texas are nothing but a pipe dream.

        • I hear you. It’s almost 8:30 pm here in OKC, and it’s still 97. Our high today was 105. So tired of the heat.

        • Heat advisory here in DC. I use them more in the spring, but I think lightweight scarves could be very useful to combat the AC in the summer. It’s in the 80s and about 200% humidity here at 9:30 am and I am sitting at my desk wearing a lightweight, but longsleeve, sweater with my dress.

        • I’m with you. I love summer, but the 95 – 100 degrees started in May this year in Mississippi. 84 would be absolutely heavenly!

    • The key to summer scarves is fabric. This is where you pull out the silk scarf you bought on a whim as a souvenir in Paris (or wherever). Wear it in place of a statement necklace with a simple dress.

    • I am an inveterate scarf wearer and wear them in all weather. If you wear a silk scarf in the summer, it will not add to the warmth factor and in fact if you are hot, you can use the ends to fan yourself gracefully, a la Scarlett O’Hara. :-) I have been known to wear scarves with just about anything, including, in the summer: a long scarf tied loosely at the side or using a four-in-hand knot, with a knitted top or cardigan; a large scarf draped casually around the neck with a camisole (obviously not for work) – useful because you can not only use it to make a style statement but also for extra coverage if there is a breeze and you get chilly; even a square or oblong scarf folded and tied in a poufy bow at the side of the neck, with a simple silk shell. Just use your imagination and don’t worry too much about what other people think.

      Old silk scarves are perfect, fun, and can be found at any thrift store for cheap – but I also saw some nice silk scarves at Nordstrom Rack not too long ago.

      • I wear scarves almost daily in cool weather, but I can’t see how you could wear silk scarves in the summer without damaging them with sweat. Do you have any tips?

      • Well, first, I guess I don’t sweat that much, but you can generally hand-wash silk scarves and just hang them to dry, so they could be washed after each wearing if that is a problem…

        • I guess you don’t sweat that much (or you live somewhere cool). The colors bleed and the scarf is stained with sweat within 20 minutes for me. Since many of my scarves were my mother’s, that’s not cool. Oh well…

  4. Anon for now :

    Have any 0f you done a marriage counseling weekend program, by something like IMAGO or any other reputable group? I’m thinking about it but would love to talk to someone who actually did it.

    • H and I went to a couples workshop one weekend. It is called Operation Us and it’s a federally funded program, so the cost is quite low. The program coordinators address the participants as a group, so there is no one-on-one counseling, if that’s what you are looking for. Check out their website for some more detailed info. I am not sure if they host seminars across the country, or if it is just locally, but H and I enjoyed it for the most part!

      • I did! We went to John Gottman and his wife’s workshop in Seattle. Loved it. We have a great marriage, just thought it’d be healthy and a refresher. It was. Worth the money. Highly recommend, they are brilliant and getting older… try to go to one.

  5. Anonymous Poser :

    PSA: Land’s End–Free shipping, NO minimum
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  6. I could use advice on how to wear scarves both with and (more often) without a jacket. My issue is that scarves seem to need so much managing — for example, a scarf tied as pictured doesn’t bother me when standing up or sitting still, but bend over the conference table and you have to worry that it will drag into a pen or coffee cup. I also apparently need to go back to Girl Scouts because my knots are always slipping around.

    Any tips on youthful but tailored/stays-in-place scarf tricks? Both square and rectangle advice very welcome :)

    • I wear a headscarf every day so I definitely understand how annoying the fluttering fabric can unintentionally be. A secret (or not-so-secret) trick that I employ is pinning the scarf where I want it to be. If your knots are unraveling, put a safety pin in the back of the knot to secure it.

      As for the scarf moving when you lean over, I’ve noticed that I habitually draw my arm across the scarf when leaning over (as you would do with a long necklace, etc). It’s a learned behavior that becomes a habit the more you wear scarves.

      Something that I think would like nice (ymmv, of course) is adding a brooch or otherwise nice pin to the look. If you’re looping a square or rectangle scarf around your neck, you can use to a brooch to secure a tail of the scarf to your shirt/blouse/cardigan/jacket.

    • I love this scarf tying guide:

      But I think part of the issue is just being used to having a scarf around your neck – for instance, I usually have short hair and now that mine is long, I drag it through coffee and it gets on my nerves all the time. But I’m used to wearing scarves, so I almost never get them in my coffee.

      • Thanks both – Ru, that’s a good point about long necklaces (I have definitely learned how to “manage” them without thinking), and Eponine, I’m clicking around that site now!

  7. Valleygirl :

    Can I vent for a sec… I work in a public hospital as a researcher – anyway – a good friend of my husbands just moved out here and is actually living in our apt building. Last night he came over 11:30ish and was really out of it – dizzy, couldn’t focus, super pale… and asked my husband to take him to the ER. So husband took him to the hosp. I work at since our friend doesn’t have insurance yet at his new job… and I got to stay home and got update calls from husband at 2am and 4am then husband came home at 6am (friend stayed at hosp) and I got up at 7am for work. so no sleep… and now I’m working on a deadline, plus just spent the last hour walking around the hospital figuring out where our friend is (since he wasn’t in his assigned room yet). So found the friend – and he asked me to call his mom who lives on the other side of the country and let her know what’s up… so now I’m busting my butt on a work deadline, worried about my friend (who does seem to be doing better but is staying another night for heart observation issues), have to call his mom – and I’m tired and my co-workers seem extra annoying today.

    • Betty White :

      That sucks, but I’m gonna have to go with “maybe it sucks a bit more for your friend than it does you” on this one. Try to look at it that way?

    • Much sympathy. I always find that when I’m low on sleep everyone I work with seems way more stupid and annoying and I hate even their friendly banter. Just try to isolate yourself for the day I guess. I hope your friend feels better soon and also that you are able to get some good rest tonight!

    • What a jerk your husband’s friend is….

      Just kidding. You’re tired. That sucks. But it’s better to be annoyed at work than checked in as patient with no insurance and no family in the area to help you out.

    • It’s so stressful to have to think about work deadlines when you’re concerned about your friend. I hope he gets well quickly, and it must be a huge relief for him to be in your hospital so he can have a regular visitor checking in on him instead of being alone and anonymous. And I hope you get some sleep tonight!

  8. Needs Advice :

    Threadjack— I am in need of life/career advice. I am a second-year litigator who now works at a decent paying (six-figure) regional boutique firm. I left a run of the mill boutique firm with a few fairly exciting cases (a few of them had media mentions) where I was well respected and given incredible opportunities for my experience level (third-chairing a trial, doing several motions and appeals). I didn’t like that firm because of the fairly low pay and the fact that I felt that several of the lawyers were not fancy enough (I know, I know.. and in retrospect, there were a lot of great thinks about the firm that I have come to respect). My new firm, which is fairly small, has much fancier lawyers and better pay but I have been my new firm almost a year but have hated it from the beginning. At first, I was only given the kind of work that the paralegals and my assistant at my former firm would handle. There is an unspoken expectation that you should be here 24/7 even if you don’t have work to do despite the fact that our computer system is fully optimized to work from literally anywhere.

    The only other female associate left a few months ago for all the reasons I hate it in addition to those described above (somewhat sexist, small but still acts like a big firm (I am doing more doc review and less substantive work than my previous job), some terrible personalities). I have (gasp!) cried several times at work in front of several people because it has been so bad at times. I have heard that two of the partners think I am weak and wouldn’t want me to go to appearances or get on calls and/or use the crying as a tactic to get out of working with certain people. (Note: I never cried at work at my old job or any of my previous non-law jobs.) It is not all bad as some of the partners have gone out of their way to help me fit in and grow as a lawyer (they also let me do appearances and get on calls).

    Nevertheless, I am depressed about my job and find it hard to make it to work on a daily basis. It’s been so bad that I question whether I even want to be a lawyer.

    I have been reaching out to people who have legal careers that appear desirable and I am working on redoing my resume… I am concerned that I will be viewed unfavorably by potential employers if I apply before my one year anniversary at this firm (in a few months). I am also concerned that I don’t want to be a lawyer so moving to a new firm would just end with the same unhappiness. My final concern is that I am planning my wedding at the end of the year and that I won’t be able to take the kind of honeymoon I want if I switch jobs. (Sidenote: My fiance is also a lawyer, works at an amazing firm, makes a ton of money and loves his job. I am so jealous, which is such a weird position to be in with someone you adore. )

    I really just need advice, suggestions, stories from anyone who has been there (or someone who understands) on the following: Were you ever at a firm that made you not want to be a lawyer but then you switched and you liked it again? Have you ever quickly hopped firms and it turned out okay? How did you figure out want you wanted to do after being a lawyer? Have you ever started a new job when you knew you were going to take a major vacation that you were unwilling to comprimise on and how did it turn out?


    • It sounds like you were unhappy in your first job and are unhappy in your current job for very different reasons. The former seem to concern prestige (self-perceived and otherwise) and compensation you feel you ought to receive, and the latter the work & culture itself. I don’t think that means you are not cut to be an attorney.

      I think you need to figure out whether you liked the actual work at your old job. That will go a long way towards helping you figure out whether you like the work of being a lawyer (though it’s by no means definitive) or whether you should start considering non-legal career options.

      As to your specific issue, I would try to stick it out for close to a one year mark, but I don’t think it hurts to keep an eye out for any truly worthwhile opportunities. I would never advise anyone to stay in a position they truly hate, but perhaps if you make the internal decision to leave, your job will (for the remainder) be less objectionable. It sounds like a lot of what is making you unhappy concerns the idea of spending the next 20-30 years doing this kind of work with these kind of people. If you have an end date, it may make the remainder of your time at this firm much more bearable.

    • Here is my story so you don’t feel alone: I worked at a small boutique firm in my area that did very high-end cases. The experience I received was just insane and it launched me way ahead of everyone else in my graduating class. The only problem? I HATED it. They way they treated opposing counsel made me cringe (other people would love it but I’m just not a natural bulldog). The way they managed made me cringe (motivation by fear). The work made me cringe. I would wake up in the mornings dreading the office. Similar to you, I was expected to be on call 24/7. I would take vacation and would fear that I would come back to my office packed up and a notice. Not because of my work product but because that’s how fickle the partners were. I would make weekend plans with my husband and even though my cases were handled and my projects were complete, I would have to come home early to draft a motion that the partner wanted to draft but then later decided didn’t have time for… this was a regular occurance. They told me to take is a compliment because my work product made me their go-to. Not a compliment when you can’t even enjoy a nice weekend away. I was miserable. I hated the work, I hated being a lawyer and I just wanted out. I started looking and ended up transitioning to another firm that also works on very high level matters but of a completely different nature. The first month I was there, I was lectured because I responded to emails too quickly on the weekend (seriously) and my secretary literally drug me out of my office at 1:00 telling me that I was required to enjoy the sunshine for at least 15 minutes. It’s amazing how your work environment impacts how you view practicing law. I love it and am so glad that I just made a move rather than quitting the law altogether. I lost some benefits that I had accrued at the other firm, but who cares.?. My life is so much better now and because of that, I encourage you to think about transitioning even if that means you have to take a shorter honeymoon. Or, plan your transition so your honeymoon is between the two jobs.

      My suggestion: Start looking. Start putting your feelers out there and find a place for you that will let you live the live you want to lead. Before you take a new job, see if you can find a backdoor to some of the associates there and get a sense for what things are “really” like. Think about whether you want/can adjust your practice area and interview the firm as much as they interview you and hopefully you will find a good fit. Don’t worry about the short time you’ve been at your firm. Practice the explanation you will give in your interviews and be confident about it. You need to leave for you and if that is not enough, leave for your husband and the future of your marraige. After I made my switch, my husband confessed that he hated me working there and resented them for taking away our “our” time and making me miserable. Happy wife is a happy life and visa versa :)

      • Needs Advice :

        If my firm wasn’t fairly new, I would guess that you worked here. Sounds so similiar! The only exception is that they do not compliment my work. I don’t need gold stars or anything but every once in awhile it would be nice to get a pat on the back.

        Anyway, I appreciate you sharing your story and the advice! Thanks again!

    • I worked in Biglaw for a while and hated it. It made me really question whether I wanted to be a lawyer and why I had gone to law school, and I had many sleepless nights about student loan debt, etc.

      I jumped ship and joined a litigation boutique and I absolutely love it. I love the people, love the work, love being a lawyer again. I will say that some of the work would have been classified as “paralegal” work at my old firm (ECF filings, for example), but I really don’t mind and feel like I have more ownership of all the stages of my cases.

      It sounds like you’re already at a boutique, so my advice would be to look around for a place with a better fit or a different type of employer (government, university, etc.) that would suit your needs better.

      As for your wedding, I would just say to be upfront after you get an offer and say “I had two weeks vacation planned for my honeymoon on the books – would it be possible for me to still take that vacation, even though I will have just started?” Any employer that says no, you can’t take your honeymoon, is probably some place where you don’t want to work anyway.

      • I left law and have been very happy with that decision. I do policy/strategy work for a large company, did that in government before this job. Much for fun for me personally. I transitioned by doing quasi-legal jobs (still do- lots of regulatory relevance).

        • Anonypants :

          I also left the law do to legal / compliance work for a global company and LOVE it. Best decision ever.

          I too had an uber-miserable first job at a boutique litigation firm where a couple of the partners had city-wide reputations for their abusive interactions with both employees and opposing counsel. It was beyond brutal and I left with a number of depression-related health concerns after a year and a half to a slower paced role that was much like the first firm described here.

          I agree – put out feelers, ask yourself if you really like the law and dislike your firm, or vice versa. But if you don’t like the firm, it’s not going to get better. I’d ask friends in the industry if they knew of anyone who was hiring, even at a small pay cut.

  9. So, I have a job interview Wednesday. And also a very recently broken nose. Both my eyes are still swollen and bruised. Basically I look as if I have too very bad black eyes.

    I bruise easily as it is, and I’m fairly anemic, so I doubt I’ll look any better by Wednesday morning. Should I give HR a heads up that I’ll be coming in looking like someone beat me up? It’s a fairly prominent injury, and even with make-up it still looks like someone beat me up.

    • I bruise easily :

      Is there any way you can reschedule the interview? Or does the hive

      For bruising, look into Arnica Montana (available as a topical and also in sub-lingual mini pills). I also bruise like it is my job, which is unfortunate considering my martial arts practice. Arnica doesn’t help prevent bruising, but it helps me to heal more quickly. Please note that I’m not a medical professional, I can’t speak to possible contraindications or adverse effects, so you should research it yourself before trying it out. It has, however, worked wonders for me!!

      • I bruise easily :

        Not sure why my response got cut off. The second sentence is supposed to be “Or does the hive think that would come across as flaky?”

      • I also bruise incredibly easily, and arnica is amazing. I used the dissolving capsules as a kid when I was covered in bruises, but tend to stick to the topical (either cream or gel) more recently. My allergist even recommends it for patients who get allergy shots to prevent bruising. The topical does have a bit of an odor in my experience.

    • found a peanut :

      I would give HR a head’s up so that the HR rep can pass the message along to the people who will be interviewing you. And I would address it right off the bat at the start of the interview because it’s going to be pretty obvious. Otherwise there is not much you can do.

      • Techy Tech :

        I agree with calling HR. If you are comfortable explaining the source of the injury, I would do so. If you don’t give them a reason why your nose is broken and you have two shiners, their imaginations will run wild and I doubt you want them thinking that you brawl when you go to bars, your boyfriend/husband/girlfriend abuses you, you confront random people on the train, etc. (P.S., I hope none of these are true).

      • Agree. I don’t think anyone will care that your nose is injured, but it’s probably better if it’s not a total surprise to the interviewers. At least you will be memorable!

        • LOL a guy on my team at work just had a similar looking face and while he told me it was a sporting accident, turns out he DID have a bar brawl, ran into a guy with a lady he had… well…. let’s just say it didn’t help his already soily reputation. He was wearing makeup to cover the cuts!

    • I don’t know if you necessarily have to call HR ahead of time, but certainly just explain the injury in a light manner when you arrive at the interview, laugh it off and assure them that you don’t make a habit of it (I hope you don’t…). It could lead into an interesting discussion about your hobbies and outside interests, which is never a bad thing since the best interviews are just good conversations.

      In the meantime, good luck with the healing (and the interview)!

    • I agree with previous commenters that you want to reduce speculation. Have a good line ready so you can provide an explanation and move on. It doesn’t have to be true; it just has to displace what your interviewers will make up.

      Good luckwith your interview and I hope you feel better soon!

    • Ditto what everyone said. Just out of curiosity….how did you break it? I’m having a flash back to the bouncy castle broken leg poster.

    • I’m going to go against the prevailing trend here and suggest that you reschedule the interview. You don’t have to give a lot of details, but just say something along the lines of “I had a car accident and need a few days to heal.” Even if you give them a heads up, the individual interviewers may be terribly distracted by your injuries and have a hard time focusing on the substance of the interview. I really doubt anyone would hold a reschedule against you.

  10. Anyone have a Piperlime coupon code? TIA!

  11. So it was my first day at work at my new hospital. As many of you know, I am transitioning from major NW city university practice to small California ski town practice. Today was the monthly dept of surgery meeting and was the first time I would meet and be introduced to the surgeons and anethesiologists, as well as a lot of orienting, tours, walking from place to place, etc.

    My husband (very helpful) and I contemplated my outfit, an settled on grey suiting slacks, a light green short sleeve button up that has puff sleeves and pintucks down the front placket and a black cardigan. Not as formal as I’m used to, but it hit the right note, considering some of the physicians were in shorts!

    So excited to start my new job and looking forward to the next phase in life (also went paddleboarding yesterday). It appears as though the balance I’d dreamed of may be achievable.

    • Not many people are brave enought to take the leap you took. Congrats and I’m glad it’s workin out!

    • Congratulations! So exciting.

      Don’t you love it when the SO gets involved in your outfit planning? It makes me feel so special.

    • I’m happy for you! Congrats!

    • Aww, yay! Glad you’re starting off great (even if that means the PNW is not for you anymore)

    • Congratulations on both the awesome new location/job and the fun paddleboarding experience!

    • Oh gosh, so jealous. I need to find a chiller job. congrats!

    • So cool! Sounds like a great work-life balance. And an ideal outfit. You’re living the dream… enjoy the mountains!

    • Oh, so happy for you.
      The work – life balance is hard to get in medicine (read all medical specialties here) whichever part of the world you live in, and I’m so glad you are happy with the changes you made towards that end.
      Good luck!

  12. Runnin' for it :

    Hi, gals. I bought this evening gown in the midnight blue color to wear to a black tie wedding. My question is what color shoes and other accessories to wear. I would like to get new shoes that I can wear with other dresses, so I think navy is out. Silver has been my go-to for these things, but I don’t know if it would look right with this color gown. Thanks in advance!

    • Great dress!
      I think grey/silver would look lovely and appropriately formal.

      Are you a bridesmaid? This is called a bridesmaid’s dress … if you are, you probably have to coordinate with the bride and the other BMs, right? If not, I think silver and/or diamonds would look great, depending on your skin tone.

    • Any metallic will look fine. I’d probably do gold or pewter simply b/c silver is more common…but its up to you. You could even do something crazy like orange or green shoes (if that’s your style). Nude would be fine as well.

      As for jewelry, of course you can play it safe and do blue/metal. Or you can have fun.

      Other than navy shoes (too hard to match) or black, I think you can do whatever suits your style.

    • I think pewter or bronze would look nice with the navy. That model is really selling the eggplant color!

    • Metallic, burgundy, plum, bright yellow?

  13. Threadjack – I’m going to be a bridesmaid in my best friend’s wedding in a few weeks. She’s Indian, and we’re all supposed to get henna patterns on our hands. Only issue? I’m also going to be in trial at the time. It will be a three week bench trial, and the wedding is near the end, so I won’t have henna on my hands for the majority of the trial, but it would definitely be noticeable for the last week.

    What would you do? I want to fully participate in my friend’s wedding – she is a very dear friend to me. And yet, I’m not sure how professional it would be to have henna patterns on my hands (they would likely last for 3-4 days) at trial. Thoughts?

    • Could you use makeup designed for covering birthmarks/scars on your hands (I’ve never used that – but I assume its fairly budge-proof)

    • If you are otherwise conservatively and appropriately dressed, I would not think it would be a problem. It is not as though the henna will be neon yellow. If the judge calls you on it, explain that henna is a normal cultural part of the Indian wedding in which you are taking part. If the judge objects to it, that would be discriminatory. However….if the judge who is sitting for the trial is known for being particularly conservative and old-school, you may have to re-think, or ask your friend if you can have the designs on your palms only, not the backs of your hands.

      Are you first chair or a junior at the trial? If you are a junior, perhaps just let the senior member of the team know that you will be participating in the wedding and will have henna on your hands for the last part of the trial, so it doesn’t come as a surprise. Most people I know think henna designs are really beautiful and would probably comment on them from that perspective rather than appropriateness.

    • Would you feel comfortable asking your friend’s mother about options? Maybe mineral oil removes henna (wild speculation), or you could get henna on your forearms, or there is a less permanent dye that could be used for you.

    • How about getting henna on your feet instead? I think both hands and feet are done for Indian weddings. You could also probably just have your arms done without the hands. That way your suit jacket would cover it during trial.

    • Are you a lead attorney who’ll actually be questioning witnesses or making arguments, or will you be a back-bencher?

      If the former, tell your friend you can only do henna on your feet. Sorry, but it’s not appropriate to have visibly hennaed arms and hands in court (if you were south Asian or middle eastern, and wearing ethnic dress to go with the henna, and this was how you usually dressed – then it would probably be ok unless the judge was really conservative). You can cover your feet and ankles, so go ahead and get them hennaed.

      • I agree. It’s just not appropriate. It would probably be forgiveable if it was your own wedding.

      • This. Do not do it in a way that will be visible in court. I’m not kidding around. I am South Asian, I have worked in Big Law, and I’ve done subtle henna in Big Law (small design, palms of hands only) and most Big Law attorneys, let alone judges, are not familiar with it. I received so many weird looks, comments and reactions from people who I thought were reasonably cosmopolitan, it was a real eye-opener for me. I just don’t think it works in a U.S. professional environment. One reason I left law firm practice/litigation was so that I could do henna and other “ethnic” things to a limited extent and be considered odd or exotic without actually having any negative repercussions to my career. I’ve heard of elementary school teachers telling children to “scrub it off right now” because they were unfamiliar with it. I would not go there. As others have suggested, on your feet, an anklet, or an arm band (upper arm), may be suitable.

        • If it were just day-to-day law firm life, I’d have the attitude of f— it, a although it’d get old having to explain the henna to colleagues. But for court, where ticking off the judge or just appearing weird can prejudice your case – no. In court one should always look as neutral as possible.

    • I think it would be much less of an issue if you were in a major metropolitan area as it’s more likely that people would be aware of the Indian tradition.

      That being said — you could get something subtle in the palm of your hand for the symbolism and beg off of the more ornate work on your whole hand.

      I would think , and hope, your friend and her family would understand if you explained why. While henna is one of the few Indian traditions I’d like to have if I ever get married, if my friend’s can’t do it for whatever reason, I’d totally understand.

      Side note — way back when in my brief stint in Catholic School in Southern India I think that we were forbidden from coming to school with henna as it wasn’t “appropriate.”

    • I had almost this same problem two years ago. I was interning both at a law firm and for a judge, but I also wanted to participate in the wedding. I ended up going ahead and getting the henna done after clearing it with both of my bosses. The henna ended up fading really quickly. It was done on Friday and had completely faded by the next Wednesday (my boss at the law firm didn’t believe I’d actually had it done).

      I think you have a few (non-mutually exclusive) options. I’m about as white as you can get, and I don’t know a ton about Indian culture, but these are some of the things the white bridesmaids at the wedding I was in tried.

      1. Don’t get it done. I think this would work best if you’re the only non-Indian bridesmaid, but of course talk to the bride about it beforehand.
      2. Ask the person doing it to apply the henna lightly and to limit the coverage, and then wash your hands very quickly after it’s put on. Washing your hands quickly will keep it from getting really dark.
      3. You can get it put only on the palm of your hands, but on pale skin it seems to stay on the palms for a lot longer than it does on the back of the hand and arms.
      4. If you get it done, wash your hands a lot as soon as the wedding is over. Maybe let dishes pile up for a few days so that you spend some quality time with your hands in soapy water.

      If you’re upset about missing the event where they put henna on, if it’s anything like the one I went to, you can still enjoy the event without getting the henna. There will probably only be one or two women applying the henna, and they’ll probably be happy to have one less person to apply it to.

      • mine went away within a few days when I did it, but be careful- get the good artists! i got the ‘bad’ cousin and mine was awful ugly- looked like a kid scratched over my hands like a mess, not pretty designs. obviously prioritize the best for the bride, but try to see your person’s handiwork before you turn over the hands:) lesson learned

    • I was interning for a judge when I got married and I was also concerned about having a bunch of henna tats all over me. I did the palms of my hands and the inside of my forearms (I wouldn’t have done the forearms if it wasn’t my own wedding). I told the chambers staff that I was going to have it done and no one seemed put off by it. It shouldn’t be a huge deal (in court or for the bride) to have a smaller/less intricate design on your palm(s). Give your senior a heads up and I doubt you’ll be met with resistance unless it absolutely wouldn’t fly in your jurisdiction.

      The designs on my forearms wore off pretty quickly because I got a spray tan the day I had the henna done (like an idiot), but the ones on my palms stuck around for awhile. For you, my mistake might be a solution. I am not suggesting that you get a spray tan, but if you want it to fade out sooner maybe try putting lotion on an hour beforehand so your skin doesn’t suck up the pigment so much. Also, as someone else suggested, don’t let it set for very long. It won’t be completely gone overnight, but by the time you’re back in court it won’t be very noticeable unless someone is close to you/specifically looking at your hands.

      In any event, anyone who notices will likely recognize that it is henna and will know that it is a cultural thing rather than an act of rebellion or disregard for the court.

    • As a former Indian bride I would say that I’d be really surprised if your friend had an issue with your attending the event without getting henna put on yourself. It’s actually kind of nice for the bride to have friends around who can actually do stuff like bring her a glass of water since she’ll probably be sitting for hours while she gets her bridal henna.

      Not a lawyer, but I think it would probably be weird to have henna on your hand for a trial (based on the discussions I’ve seen about how conservative judges can be about courtroom dress). If it were your wedding it might be a different story, but it’s really not a big deal for an attendee not to get it. My Indian cousin who lives in India didn’t get henna put on at my wedding for work-related reasons.

    • In a bench trial, I think you can do it, especially if you have practiced a fair amount in front of this judge and/or the judge is chatty – the judge will know this is not the norm for you, and you might have the opportunity to explain it in an organic sort of way.

      The one caveat is how many witnesses you may have to cross. You can presumably explain the issue to any of your own witnesses, and if you are a prosecutor and the defense doesn’t put on a case, you may not have anyone to cross. But in a civil trial, especially if you represent the defendant and will have a number of witnesses, I would consider skipping it, because it has the potential of being distracting to the witness and interrupting your presentation of the case.

    • I’ve had this done once – for fun, while holidaying in India and it took much longer than 3 weeks to become unnoticeable even on my South Asian skin tone.

      Not a lawyer, not in the US, but I think it might not be very appropriate for your work situation ( remember having some rather bad moments myself until mine washed out) but then I can be rather self-conscious.

      I’m definitely no expert, but I think I remember, from somewhere that there are tubes of stuff that mimic authentic henna but wash out completely. I can’t for the life of me remember where I got this idea, but if you’re keen on going through the whole Indian wedding experience, it might just work for you.

      Then again, if I was the bride I think I would completely understand your issue. I think its fair to say that many people from different cultural backgrounds are happy to share their traditions and customs but are also fine that not everything works for everyone.
      Like, say, many people like to eat authentic Indian but can’t manage some of the spicier / hotter curry.

      • Thanks everyone for the great advice!

        • Legally Brunette :

          Fiona, I agree with others that you feel at all uncomfortable given your trial, don’t get the henna. However, I’m Indian and I have never heard of anyone else other than the bride getting henna on their feet. So I think it would be odd if you asked to get your feet hennaed. Another option is that you can always ask the artist to do a small henna design on your upper arm or somewhere else where it won’t be visible if you wear a long sleeved shirt. If you don’t get any henna though, it won’t be weird at all and I wouldn’t worry too much about it.

    • I recently had henna done at a wedding. If you have it done on your palms it will fade very quickly. You can also rinse it off shortly after it is applied and it will set much lighter and probably be gone before you return to work.

  14. If I saw that in court I would just assume you were in a friend’s wedding and wouldn’t think twice.

    • Different context, but I was at a law/biz school mixer last year as a 3L and they were doing henna tattoos…totally got one and remembered 15 minutes later that I had an all day interview in two days. In the bathroom scrubbing it off before it could set. Scrubbed my hands raw.

  15. Blackwood :

    Question for those in the D.C. area: does anyone have a recommendation for a person who does career-focused advice and counseling? Guidance on how to think about framing future work opportunities; should I stay or should I go?


  16. Just need to ease my nerves. I’m a rising 3L, summer associate at a midlevel firm in a small/mid-sized city. T50 school, law review editor, moot court/ran the 1L moot court competition, and an externship lined up for my last semester. The only thing I’m worried about our my grades. They aren’t bad, but they aren’t as high as I wish they were — and I feel like despite everything else I’ve done, I’m going to be edged out of the job market because grades are really what matter. I’ve been avoiding our OCI listings and looking around at potential employers because I seriously dread the flood of rejection letters I’m going to get.

    To make matters worse, I really want to relocate to a particular city, but I just don’t have any connections. The city is known for the field I’m interested in, and I definitely have some experience with the field, but I still know that cold-calling just doesn’t have great results.

    Basically, like everyone else, I’m panicking about jobs. Any words of encouragement would be appreciated.

    On a happier note: Corporette is awesome, and I recommend it to every female law student I meet.

    • I received over 100 rejection letters (probably over 200) when I graduated from law school (market wasn’t as bad then as it is now, but it wasn’t good). BUT…after passing the bar exam, I got a job. And I got another job. And now I have a great career that I’m 13 yrs into…It may take some energy, tears, and luck to get a job, but you are only going to get a job if you are tenacious. If you are afraid of rejeciton, you might as well give up. Succeeding means getting a rejected A LOT. Because if don’t know what rejections feels like, you’ll be just another decent associate who never gets anywhere because you don’t know what it takes to get anywhere. So send out all those letters and expect that you’ll maybe get 1 interview. But that’s an interview you wouldn’t have gotten if you hadn’t sent out a lot of letters.

    • SF Bay Associate :

      Anony, it sounds like if you did things the “regular” way, through blindly signing up at OCI, you probably won’t get an offer in City. You don’t have the highest grades, you’re not from a T5 or even T25, and you aren’t connected to City. In this economy, the fancier school, the better grades, the regional connections will likely edge you out. That’s the bad news.

      The good news is that there is no reason to do things the “regular” way. Don’t be a lemming. Blaze your own trail. You can’t be *that* busy this summer, so start researching and networking asap. The key to success is to ASK FOR HELP. People will help you if you make it easy for them to do so, and give them a small reason to do so. Who in City went to your law school? Your undergrad? Reach out to every single one of them individually in short, nicely personalized emails or calls requesting 15 minutes of their time. Bonus points if any of these alumni also did your law review and/or moot court. There have been corporette posts about this. Ask the professors who know you for help. At least at my school, the moot court head had a very strong and very active network – use it. Spend a 30-60 minutes each day researching, composing emails to these people. You have the time.

      Use your parents’ networks too. Yes, even if they aren’t lawyers. Yes, it will be awkward and possibly embarassing and produce a lot of false leads. Tell them you want to move to City and are interested in X, and ask them to tell everyone. It may result in nothing, but for all you know, their dentist’s son’s best friend from college is at the firm you want to be at. It only takes a single connection to get your hat in a ring that would otherwise be unavailable to you because of perceptions about your resume. The best friend just needs to say to his boss, “I heard anony is a good person – let’s give her a shot.”

      However, do your research discretely while you are still in your summer associate position. It would look badly for them to realize you have one foot out the door already. Do not activate the parental network until after you get your offer. Parents often lack discretion, and besides, the whole point is to spread the word as far and wide as possible.

      It takes about a year for a truly active network to produce results, so if you start now, you should be in great shape.

  17. Stupid question? :

    This might seem weird, but I’m not from America. Can someone tell me the difference between Lands End and LLBean? They seem the same to me, is one higher end, more stylish, etc.?

    • Different companies, as far as I know, but similar demographics. LL Bean also sells more outdoor gear and tends to be more casual-outdoorsy.

    • LLBean is based out of Maine, at the northern end of New England, on the ocean, so has more of a marine/New England focus. Lands End is out of Wisconsin, in the northern Midwest. Those regional differences are clear if you are aware of the geography/culture. Personally, I think Lands End has a slightly more modern take on things with more of a eye toward current fashion. Both are good quality, conservative clothes at a very good value. I can see how you confuse them, and think of them as equivalent!!

    • LL Bean is based in Maine and, at least originally, was oriented toward hunting and fishing and is still more oriented toward outdoors attire. Lands’ End is based in Wisconsin, was originally oriented toward sailing, and offers a much wider range of apparel. It’s also now owned by Sears.

      I am from a cold state so I actually own a lot of apparel from both companies, and I’m happy to report that I have never had a bad experience with either one. Everything is high quality, although Lands’ End’s stellar customer service and incredibly liberal return policy (you can return anything you bought there, any time, no matter how often you’ve worn it, etc – I recently returned a pair of worn shoes that hurt my feet and they even refunded the shipping costs) beats out LL Bean’s.

    • They’re about the same in most ways, but Land’s End (and, particularly Land’s End Canvas) is a little more stylish. The skirts/dresses at LLBean seem really matronly and often fall below the knee. Land’s End also has better sales.

    • I’m from America (lived here all my life, actually) and I get confused between the two all the time. Not weird! :-)

  18. For those of you looking for something to watch this summer, The Closer is back tonight for its final season.

    • While watching the show, I just saw an ad for a Dallas Redux coming next summer. I’m speechless, but I’ll still be tuning in to the pilot, at least.

    • Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler :

      And Rizzoli & Isles!

  19. Unrelated, but I need to share with some people before I burst. I just found out at I made law review at my school! I’m so pleased!

  20. rajat jain :

    dear sir/mam
    we are one of the largest manufacturer of shawls,stoles and scarves in wool,silk,rayon and other blends.please mail ur contact no. of head or purchase department mail id so that we can mail our prduct catalogue.