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Updated: Mar 23, 2021 81 Comments · by

Coffee Break: Tessa Earrings

Coffee Break

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I have mixed feelings about post earrings, but mostly because I find them uncomfortable if I'm wearing a headphones or a headset, or using a regular phone. But in today's world of AirPods and other solutions, half of those objections fall away.

These cute (and incredibly well-reviewed) earrings from Kendra Scott are on sale in a number of colors — I'm usually a fan of sparkly druzy but this more matte “slate/silver,” pictured above, is calling my name.

The earrings were $68 but are now marked to $54. Huzzah!

Sales of note for 9.16.24

Sales of note for 9.16.24

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Comments

  1. Anon for this

    Vaccine question, skip if you’re not interested.

    I have a condition (a primary immune deficiency) that makes me high-risk for COVID, but it’s not one of the eligible conditions for vaccination in my state. It is in other states. Would you sign up for the vaccine anyway (it’s honor system, but you do have to sign an “attestation” that you’re eligible)? Medical ethicists seem to be saying that it’s okay if you truly do have a high-risk condition, which I truly do (and I am in active treatment for), but I feel conflicted since there are other conditions with much more evidence that made the list and my state isn’t doing that great at vaccinating people right now. My condition not being on the list is partially a reflection of the fact that immune deficiency is rare and we have less data on how it interacts with COVID, but still. I’m also able to WFH and keep my exposure basically non-existent except for medical appointments. I also feel uncomfortable about having to sign an attestation that I’m eligible when technically, I’m not. WWYD?

    P.S. Either way, when I do get the vaccine, it might not work for me because people with PI don’t always respond to vaccines. Please get your vaccines when you can – you’ll be helping all of us!

    • AnonATL

      I would because the intent of the grouping is to get vulnerable folks vaccinated first. Caveat that I would only do this if there were plenty of vaccination appointments available and truly critical groups (elderly, first responders, teachers) have all had time to get their doses, which is the case here in Georgia.
      If it’s going to make you feel very guilty, you can wait a few more weeks to honestly qualify with the main population.

      • AnonATL

        Also to add, I have a vaccination appointment scheduled for 2 weeks from now because I have one of the very extensive list of conditions that allow you to be eligible in Georgia.
        In Georgia they have a generic “immunocompromised” line fwiw.

    • Anon

      I would get on all the waitlists and pre-registration lists you can, but I would not lie and say I’m eligible when I’m not. For one, I think it’s unethical, but also if you have any kind of job where you can lose a license or be disciplined by a professional association, I would be worried about that. I’m on meds that suppress my immune system and although my doctor said it’s “inexplicable and infuriating” that the CDC and our state don’t consider me high risk, he didn’t endorse me lying to get a vaccine and said I would just have to wait until my state got around to my age group. Fwiw, I got a vaccine off a waitlist a few weeks ago (the wait list was open to the general public, I didn’t disclose my condition and didn’t lie about my age or occupation).

      • Anonymous

        Is that an actual concern you have — that someone with PI will get disbarred or sanctioned by a professional board for reading the vaccine qualifications broadly and getting in line with others who are at high risk due to medical conditions?

        • Anon

          For reading the qualifications broadly, no. For outright lying and getting a vaccine when you’re clearly not eligible yet, yes, it’s something that would give me pause. Especially when vaccines are going to be available to everyone in a few weeks, it just seems like a risk that’s not worth taking at this moment. If she would have to wait many months to get vaccinated otherwise, I might feel differently.

    • Anon

      I live on the border of State A and State B. People from B often work in A or go back and forth for shopping, doctors, travel, etc. It’s a friendly border. We vaccinate people from the other state if they work here or are here often. I think they do the same. If the other state has different laws and isn’t restricted to residents only, I’d just go there. If your condition is really rare, it’s not like a huge amount of people is going to move their needle much on general availability.

      • Anon

        I know someone who drove over 1,000 miles to get a vaccine from a state that wasn’t restricting it to residents.

    • Anonymous

      Can you leave a message for your doctor and get his/her advice? My husband has a serious immune condition (hospitalized frequently) but it isn’t tied to organ transplant (qualifying criteria in my state). His doctor told him to sign up with that tier anyway. Same thing from the doc of someone I know with a very serious lung condition that wasn’t “COPD.”

    • Anon

      Some states with short lists have a category for “other clinical indication,” so make sure that’s not an option in your state.

      There are some high risk conditions that are just too rare to appear on the list, or that don’t appear on the CDC list because a study hasn’t been published (but if you have a condition for which “pneumonia” is life threatening, there is no possible that way that COVID19 is not high risk).

      I’ve seen six different versions of my state’s list. When I went to sign up online, the online form was using only the “proven” high risk categories from the CDC’s page (so only the first list, not the second). None of my conditions appear on the proven list, but since my BMI qualified me, I signed up as high risk and scheduled. Then when I went to get the vaccine, the nurse asked me what conditions I actually have. Her list was longer than the one on the vaccine sign up form, and she put me down as having several high risk conditions according to the umbrella categories on her list.

      I found this all stressful, but I think I did the right thing in retrospect. I also found out the day of being vaccinated that I also qualify just because of my employer (I thought I didn’t because I’m WFH). So it was all confusing and not what I expected in multiple directions.

    • Anon

      I would ask your doctor if they you think you qualify for the current vaccination phase and go by that recommendation. If you’re registering for a govt run clinic you can always call their appointment line and ask a human.

    • Anon

      There is no way to put together a comprehensive list of every condition out there that makes covid particularly dangerous for you, there are just too many. If you know you have a condition that makes you high risk, get the shot – but talk to your doctor first, I’ve heard of many people being instructed to go off their meds for a couple weeks beforehand so that the vaccine can mount a good response.

    • Anon

      In California, my state, there are the state prescribed categories and then a second category of “my doctor says I’m high risk.” Certainly you fall into that category. I do (also immune compromised) and got my shot last week. My doctor explicitly told me I am high risk.

      In my case, the only atteststation I needed to do was checking the box on the online form. When I showed up for my appointment I didn’t have to prove anything.

      • Anonymous

        Not OP but this describes my situation too. I thought that second category was for people with severe disabilities (like people who cannot live independently). Do you know of any guidance that shows that it’s really more of “my doctor says I’m high-risk?” That would be really helpful to me since I’m also immunocompromised but not via organ transplant, which is the one on the CA list.

        • Anon

          Not OP but this describes my situation too. I thought that second category was for people with severe disabilities (like people who cannot live independently). Do you know of any guidance that shows that it’s really more of “my doctor says I’m high-risk?” That would be really helpful to me since I’m also immunocompromised but not via organ transplant, which is the one on the CA list.

        • Anon

          Here’s the exact wording (California second question)

          Do you currently have a physical or mental disability that is so severe and high-risk that one of the following applies: 1) a COVID-19 infection is likely to result in severe, life-threatening illness or death; OR 2) acquiring COVID-19 will limit your ability to receive ongoing care or services vital to your well-being and survival; OR 3) providing adequate and timely COVID care will be particularly challenging as a result of your disability?

      • Anon for this

        I actually am in CA but wasn’t sure that second category applied to me (it’s worded so vaguely). That’s good to know. I will call my doctor and get his take as well. Thanks so much everyone.

        • Anon

          I’m in CA and my understanding is that a lot of doctors and health systems are interpreting that last category to include patients for whom Covid would be life threatening, regardless of whether the patient sees themselves as part of the disability community.

          I think your can get vaccinated with clear conscience now if your doc instructs you that you qualify in the high risk group.

      • Anon

        This is what I did in Texas too. My condition isn’t on the list and I wouldn’t expect it to be because it’s a very rare blood disorder, but it’s one that will probably intersect with covid badly and land me in the hospital. My doctor said I should get vaccinated as soon as possible and so when the state moved to the vaccine availability for high-risk people I found an appointment.

        • Anon for this

          What blood disorder? I actually have ITP as well, which is associated with my primary immune deficiency. I haven’t been able to get my appointment with the hematologist yet, but it’s scheduled. If you also have ITP, that’s good to know about what your doctor said…

    • anon

      I would make an appointment for the vaccine now. You’re high-risk. The point of prioritizing vaccination is to get the vaccine to people who might be hospitalized or die if they caught Covid. If you’re as much in that category as others who are eligible, I’d sign up. I don’t think technical non-compliance is unethical, though. My boss made an appointment for the vaccine when he was 2.5 weeks short of 65, with a BMI of 29.8 (at the time, cutoff was 30 for adults 55+), and I have no problem with that either.

    • Anonymous

      Just get it. You will eventually anyway. The more vaccinated the better for society overall.

  2. Anon

    I’m finally starting to swap around the builder-grade brass doorknobs in my house and want to swap out bathroom accessories next. House is an older farmhouse and style is clean/simple and not especially modern. Thoughts re: brushed nickel vs. matte black for doorknobs and bathroom hardware like towel bars etc?

    • Anon

      I defer to Maria Killam on this, but I think black could look harsh if you don’t have other black items around. I have dark bronze hinges and crystal octagonal knobs on my doors with dark bronze base plates (spendy ones) and in my kitchen and bath I have either polished nickel or chrome fixtures and pulls and if I had it to do over again, I’d just use silvery metal throughout. I do think that all door hardware should match.

      • Anon

        Thank you-appreciate the ideas. I tend to change my mind often, and am trying to really put thought into it so as not to waste money/change my mind in a year.

    • Anonymous

      My parents live in a community with a lot of high-end farmhouse-style homes and one of the features I like most in them is the matte black hardware in white rooms or against white trim. Brushed nickel would be my second choice, though, and it will look nice either way.

    • Anon

      Older farmhouse I think I vote for oil rubbed bronze door knobs. I think they disappear best.

    • Lilau

      Don’t do brushed nickel please. Polished nickel or matte black will look so much nicer. Also, what color are the hinges? Sometimes those are builder brass too, and if you can swap them out match matte black doorknobs it will be a nice look.

      • Anon

        Thanks for input, Lilau. A lot of the doors need to be replaced as well (falling apart or have pet door insert that we don’t need) so we will buy new hinges to match. The brushed nickel doorknob we have on one door looks….fine-just doesn’t seem like it adds much in terms of style. Our home is very small so I feel like all of these details have a big impact.

        • Lilau

          Sorry I didn’t mean to be so dramatic about something so subjective! But fwiw I like polished nickel for the bathroom hardware too. It’s pricier but you cry once as the saying goes. My mom has chrome which looks pretty but a little cold to me. I picked chrome for a simple vaugly farmhouse-ish bathroom I did in a rental apartment because polished nickel wasn’t in the budget, but I’d totally splurge if it was my home. (Also did matte black doorknobs on five panel doors which looked really nice I think but I forgot about the hinges so now I’m acutely aware of them:)) Polished nickel always looks timeless and beautiful to my eye, whereas the brushed looks…maybe plastic-y? Again, it’s totally subjective and I’m not exactly bunny Williams or Shea McGee over here so you can ignore my strange and strong opinions.

    • Anonymous

      Traditional homes will have fancy brass knobs and hinges in the living spaces and chrome in the bathrooms/kitchen, due to false beliefs about sanitation. I have followed that same scheme in renovating my Victorian with oval beaded face plates, oval beaded knobs, mortise locks, and ball tip hinges. However they’re minimum 200/set new.

    • Greensleeves

      We have brushed nickel doorknobs and I have no complaints on those. We have matte black fixtures – faucet, tp holder, towel bar – in our main floor half bath and while I love the look, they show every single bit of dust (and toilet paper generates a fair bit of dust) so keep that in mind!

  3. Anon

    Running / dog question. I recently got a dog. I walk a route that is mainly SFHs and some low-rise office / medical buildings. There is a sidewalk and often a grassy strip between the sidewalk and the street. Most buildings have large front lawns or landscaped areas. It’s a busy area in a city, but houses are on 1/3 acre lots, so no concrete jungle.

    The other morning, a runner who came up on me from behind yelled at me to get off the sidewalk with my dog. I didn’t hear her coming (morning traffic; I don’t wear earbuds or anything) until she was right up on me. If I can see people coming, especially if they are walking other dogs, I tend to move over unless it’s the couple of friends I have near by who may also be walking their dogs (so: dogs know each other, people know it’s OK to approach outdoors without masks). But I have never had this happen before.

    I’ve seen this woman running for years and I have never been yelled at like this. I will probably encounter her again when out, either with the dog or b/c I will exercise walk or jog in the same area (and no doubt she is married to a client or something, the way my luck is going these days). Is this a thing? Did I do something really wrong? Like yell-worthy wrong?

    • Anonymous

      No, obviously you didn’t do anything wrong. This woman was in the wrong and yelling at people is never okay. You don’t have to move off the sidewalk for runners – they can wait until there is space to pass. You’re never obligated to stop using the public space (in a reasonable manner) just because someone else wants to use it too.

    • Anon

      I wonder if she was just out of breath and running hard and “hey, move over” turned into “get off the sidewalk with your dog.”

      • Anon

        OP here: it definitely was not. Maybe she is afraid of dogs and had a bad experience with one? I could see some dogs getting all jumpy on a runner. I really don’t know. I work at a job where everyone yells and yet in a non-work context it was almost jarring. Like I pulled over with my dog and was apologizing.

      • Anonymous

        If two pedestrians are going in the same direction, the one who wants to pass has to go around. OP had no obligation to get off the sidewalk.

        If OP and the runner were facing each other, whichever one was facing traffic should have been the one to yield. But the runner lady still shouldn’t have yelled at OP.

    • buffybot

      Runners definitely don’t get priority on sidewalks and based on your retelling it’s hard to come up with a plausible explanation why someone would think you should be yelled at. I will say it drives me a bit nuts when people walk their dogs on crowded city sidewalks with an extended leash such that no one can pass and then seem totally oblivious about it — standing on one side while their dog sniffs something on the opposite, for instance. I’d put that in the same category as walking 3 people abreast. But that’s a city living issue and doesn’t sound like it’s what you were doing.

      • anonshmanon

        All of this. You are entitled every bit as much as the runner to use the public sidewalk. This is assuming you weren’t blocking the whole sidewalk which would have otherwise been wide enough for her to pass comfortably. If she needed to pass, she could get on the grass strip, or the street (depending on traffic). I am also assuming that your dog was on a leash, since I am sometimes not sure whether unleashed dogs will go nuts when I run past them.

    • Kitten

      No. When I run I just go into the street to go around people, and now with Covid I do so even if it’s just a single person. The whole purpose of running is exercise so I don’t get why it’s a big deal for the runner to go out of her way, as opposed to walkers being required to frantically look back over their shoulders all the time.

    • anonnnn

      Agree with the others that you weren’t doing anything wrong. I don’t even yell at people who have their dogs off-leash on trails when I encounter them (although I do get annoyed – I always stop until the dog is leashed or at least grabbed, because I don’t find it wise to run at a strange dog).

    • Anonymous

      I would say not only was the jogger wrong to yell, but the jogger was also way in the wrong assuming she would have the right of way. Just like a mom with a stroller, someone with a dog is a bit limited in maneuverability. Even with giving a quick leash tug, it’s just not reasonable to assume a dog is going to quickly move out of the way. In fact, sometimes they’ll be startled and stop.(My dog is 13 and his go-to has been to “statue” anytime anything unexpected occurs.)

      That’s the other thing– if a dog is startled and not well trained, the jogger coming at them may be at risk for aggressive behavior. Fight, flight or freeze is a very real response.

      I personally try to move onto the grass for any joggers or cyclists or what have you, but that’s courtesy not “street law.” Sounds like this woman is just being selfish (and from a safety standpoint, stupid).

      • Anon

        I didn’t think that bikes were even supposed to be on sidewalks. Kids maybe? TBH drivers are so distracted now that I don’t want to bike in my city anymore.

        • anon

          Whether or not bicycles are allowed on sidewalks is up to municipal and/or state law. In my state Washington and county/city, riding on the sidewalk is acceptable. It may be that bicyclists have to yield the right of way but I’m not sure on that. When I ride my bike I do sometimes ride on the sidewalk but am very polite when passing walkers, who I assume have priority.

    • Annony

      The runner was wrong to yell at you and I would have been startled as well. She may have just given up on trying to politely alert people … I often don’t realize people can’t hear me because I don’t see that they have earbuds in or whatever. Dogs can be unpredictable with “things in motion” … even super friendly dogs, something just happens to go past them at a certain speed/catches their eye in the right way and it just kicks in their instinct to chase. And maybe she’s had a frightening experience with dogs so she figures better to be rude & safe than considerate and … I don’t know. Bitten, or off-pace?

      You didn’t do anything wrong. You and your dog have just as much right to the sidewalk as she does. You don’t even have to move over for her … if you do, you’re extending a courtesy. She sucks.

    • pugsnbourbon

      The runner was out of line. A sidewalk is a shared public space, not a race route. By all means make room for others when possible, but you did nothing wrong and she shouldn’t have yelled at you.

      • ArenKay

        This. My cyclist husband calls these folks “pathletes,” and loathes their attempts to make public paths racetracks. You are fine.

    • anon

      I don’t think she should’ve yelled at you but I understand the sentiment. If someone has to move off the sidewalk and onto the grass, I think it should be the animal and not the human (I say this as an animal lover). But of course that’s impossible to pull off if she approached from behind and you didn’t hear her coming. Sounds like she hadn’t gotten to the happy endorphin stage of her run yet!

    • Anon

      “Runner on your left” is fine and I appreciate the heads up. “Get off the sidewalk” would be met with “you first” from me.

    • Anon

      Without more details, I’d assume the runner was in the wrong in this case. I’ve been running for years and generally (especially during Covid), assume that I’m the best party to move into the street. That said, I’ve had a couple of close calls with dogs. A lot of people walk their dogs while on the phone and are frequently super distracted. This doesn’t sound like it’s what happened here, but: once, a distracted person’s dog barked, lunged at me, and tried to bite me. The owner had no idea this was happening and had zero control over the leash, I yelled at the dog because I was scared and the owner turned around looking completely offended that I yelled ‘at her.’

    • Anonymous

      Since you didn’t hear her coming, she might already have tried to be polite and gotten zero response from you. Yelling was obviously rude, but she might have tried to ask you and you having ignored her.

      It’s very difficult to gage dog and dog owner behaviour, and especially if there is no natural way to pass away from the dog. Dogs are unprectable, and owner’s even more so. She might have seen you using all available space and not leaving her a way to pass without getting close to the dog. Depending on dog breed, running close to it can be a risky and difficult thing, it’s not weird to want to be sure that the owner is “on task”.

  4. Anon

    Another vaccine question. When these were getting tested, am I right in thinking that they found some youngish people (ideally: orphans with no young kids at home but possibly roommates and people who were definitely not hermits, but a bit loosy-goosy with safety precautions), give them shots, and say to go live it up a bit or definitely don’t ramp down on what you were doing? I mean, that has to be how they know it is effective (like it would have done no good to test on me, essentially homebound since school hasn’t reopened, since I still haven’t encountered it and was generally compliant when I did brief grocery runs).

    • Anonymous

      Well I think orphans is a little mean and I’m unclear why they couldn’t have kids, but yes when they were enrolling trials they were looking for people who were out and about — i.e. people going to work routinely. It would have done no good to test it on a population that is full time work from home + orders all groceries etc. via delivery because there would be no way of knowing if they stayed safe because the vaccine worked or because they just stayed home the whole time and had no exposure to anyone else.

      • Anon

        I think it’s like people who don’t live with very old / sick / people or people with cancer, etc. And if you are a caregiver for needy people, you also wouldn’t want to have the risk that the vaccine would make you sick and unavailable to care for people with no other care source.

        Like the old Pony Express ads.

        But I signed up for a trial and get that because I WFH now I was passed over (I would have helped with “safe” but would have been no use on the “effective” part of the equation).

    • Anonymous

      Uh, no, that’s not how they tested the vaccines. They did have a huge sample size because the outcome they were looking for (COVID infection) was a relatively rare event.

      A challenge trial, in which people are deliberately exposed to the virus after vaccination, is currently underway in the UK. Obviously all sorts of ethical issues involved there.

    • Anon

      Lol what? No they didn’t advise people to go try and get it. Covid was super rampant in the US this fall and winter. It was not hard to catch it at all, even if you were being cautious. And they chose people in jobs with more exposure (e.g., healthcare, retail workers) and/or who had kids in school, not adults who WFH with kids in virtual school. I signed up for the trials and didn’t get selected, I assume because my risk profile was too low. I did not get Covid and got vaccinated a few weeks ago.

      • Cat

        Husband and I also volunteered for trials but were not selected. I also assumed at the time that they wanted to focus on people that were more likely to be exposed through the course of their daily lives, as we both WFH and don’t have kids.

    • Cornellian

      Was involved in a trial, and yes, I think a lot of them were specifically looking for people involved in the outside world (ie grocery store workers, etc). I think all studies went across all age groups, though.

    • AFT

      So agree with the other folks above that they did prioritize folks with some level of exposure, but did not tell people “hey – go try to get COVID.” They assigned people blindly to a placebo and vaccine group, and then tracked how many people in each group developed COVID. The really impressive thing with ALL U.S.-approved vaccines so far (and I believe AZ, which has not yet been approved) is that at a certain point a few weeks into the trial, almost all of the COVID infections were coming from the placebo group and very low numbers from the vaccine group. That’s how they know it’s working – among a randomly split group of people of similar risk profile who have and haven’t been vaccinated, the COVID infections were extremely disproportionately from the placebo group.

      • Anon

        That is interesting — I guess I am so at-home that I wouldn’t have expected that. Presumably the placebo group wasn’t acting recklessly — probably observing typical precautions. I hear news that it is shockingly spreadable and then not very spreadable if there is mutual masking. It is hard to know (and maybe it is all of the above, depending on a bunch of variables).

        • Anonymous

          The placebo group didn’t know it was the placebo group. Both the placebo and treatment groups went about their lives as if they had a 50% chance of being vaccinated with a vaccine of unknown efficacy. That is the whole point of a double-blind randomized controlled trial.

          • Anon

            Sort of. The placebo they used didn’t cause any side effects and the Covid vaccines usually do, especially in young people, so most people I know in the trials knew which arm they were in. I also know some people who unblinded themselves by getting antibody tests – the people who got the vaccine had antibodies and the people who got placebos did not. Theoretically, the trials are blind though.

          • AFT

            Also neither group knew if the vaccine would be any good. Presumably they didn’t go in thinking “well I’ve just been vaccinated with an extremely effective vaccine so let’s go LIVE LIFE ON THE EDGE!” Keep in mind that there have been other vaccines that weren’t that great so got scrapped early on.
            So bottom line, the participants likely went in with some level of risk, and probably continuing with the same level of risk (whether placebo or control group)

    • Anonymous

      I am just glad to see the tide of popular opinion turn in the right direction for once.

        • Anonymous

          Maybe we are thinking of different threads. I was talking about the one where OP was slamming introverts for ruining her life and everyone was like, no, you are just a jerk.

    • Anon

      Great — going from COVID-19 risk to a 100% probable risk of COVID-15. #winning

    • Anonymous

      Initially I thought this very random, but since some of us probably earned our vaccine slot by eating too many donuts, the correlation between deed and reward does exist.

    • Anon

      You just reminded me that we had a dozen donuts a friend gave us yesterday afternoon. I had one yesterday and when I saw your post I thought I’d have another. Gone. Did I mention I live with my husband and teenage son?

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