We’ve covered this comfortable heel many, many, many times before on the blog — so I just thought I’d do a little Coffee Break to note that it’s increasingly harder to find. If you’re a fan of sleek low heels like this — or if the Vionic heels like the Josie (pictured) or the Minnie (with a cute little strap) are your Holy Grail shoes… stock up now.
Briefly: readers always love Vionic heels for their comfort — the brand describes the shoe as “merg[ing] Vionic’s trusted biomechanics with modern shoemaking techniques for a style that’s as sleek and flattering as it is comfortable.” It’s also really affordable and available in wide widths.
I will also note, particularly as straight-cut trousers may be coming back: I’ve always found that a super low kitten heel like this can be worn with pants hemmed for flats, so it gives you a nice option to elevate the outfit if you’ve suddenly got a big meeting or something.
The shoes used to be carried everywhere but are now only available at Amazon and Vionic.com, for $29–$149.
This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
These are some of our favorite comfortable low heels for work as of 2021! one / two / three / four (also Ferragamo, MMLF, and Sarah Flynt!)
Workwear Sales as of 5.14.21…
- Nordstrom – 4000 new markdowns!
- Brooks Brothers – sale styles up to 70% off!
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off summer styles
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything!
- J.Crew – Extra 15% off your purchase.
- Ann Taylor – up to 40% off full-price tops and sweaters
- Ann Taylor Factory – Up to 60% off, and 15% off a $100+ purchase.
Anon
I need plain white wood or faux wood blinds. Is there a noticeable difference among brands, or is this an “anywhere will do” type of product?
Anon
Maybe not anything will do, but I installed these at my in-laws house and was happy with the quality and ease of installation for the price – (they can cut to size and mail them to you)
https://www.homedepot.com/p/Home-Decorators-Collection-White-Cordless-Room-Darkening-2-in-Faux-Wood-Blind-for-Window-35-in-W-x-64-in-L-10793478184453/206301010
I’ve also ordered from select blinds for more particualr products (blackout shades) and they’re good too.
AZCPA
Strongly second Select Blinds; I’ve done two full house installs and been very pleased. Mix of treatments, from blackout to honeycomb to faux wood.
You don’t need to get fancy here, just over a base level threshold.
BeenThatGuy
+1 I’ve ordered at least 2 dozen treatments from them and have never been disappointed
Anon
I got faux wood ones from blinds dot com and they’re fine. They’re definitely not as nice / sturdy as the Hunter Douglas ones my dad has at his house, but totally adequate. I don’t see a big difference in real wood vs faux wood.
Anonymous
We have high-quality faux wood and I prefer it to wood. The slats are thinner and less clacky, and it holds up better over time.
Career Coach?
Based on some of the discussions from this morning, has anyone in law ever used a career coach and liked the experience? I feel like a regular career coach might not get the unique aspects of the legal field, but I’m also reluctant to pay someone to tell me something obvious.
Anonymous
Hmm, on what aspect? We have provided the option of business development coaches to junior partners, and suggested other coaches when someone needs assistance managing a newly busy docket or doesn’t have much experience building teams.
Career Coach?
More along the lines of using a career coach to help someone decide what path to take – i.e., in house, government, consulting, etc. and how to accomplish those goals.
Anonymous
Not really, this is so industry and specialty specific. I would go with talking to people who have been successful in each practice.
Suggestion
I liked working with Heather Hubbard. She is a former partner and knows the demands well.
Anon
Do any other single people get really bitter sometimes having to do everything alone? By everything, I mean good and bad things…errands, house tasks, little annoyances. Going grocery shopping, bringing all the groceries inside through multiple trips, dragging packages upstairs from the mail room (apartment dweller), taking large trash items out to the dumpster, car maintenance. I was in a relationship for 3 years and have been single for 1 year and I really miss the company, not to mention the help.
Anonymous
I remember a married friend complaining how she had to pump her own gas once because husband forgot. Seriously, wtf?!?
Carrie
Totally.
I have never had a long term partner sharing life/home stuff.
I remember when I started medical residency and visited the homes of my co-residents, who were all married/partnered. I was in awe…. Their lives were so different than mine. I was struggling to afford my small 1 bedroom rental and the idea of having a spousal income and someone who cared about me enough to do a load of laundry, wash a bathroom, or cook a meal was …..heartbreaking…. I was pretty jealous and it made me pretty depressed actually. I admit.
Ribena
Yep. All the emotional labour and all the actual labour too.
Ribena
(Not that emotional labour isn’t real!!! I mean – planning the week’s food, and then doing the shopping, cooking, and cleaning too. Realised as I hit ‘send’ that that was really badly worded).
amberwitch
I really don’t think that the definition of emotional labour used here makes sense. Just because work is not visible does not make it emotional. That would be like saying that professional project management is emotional labour? I get that there is recognised and unrecognised, visible and less visible work going into running a family/household, but emotional labour is something different.
I am also fairly certain that the person who coined the phrase back in the 80’s disagree with the modern definition.
Monday
Don’t forget paying 100% of all your bills yourself!
I’ve been bitter about this, but I’m also proud. Lots of adults have really never had to do everything for themselves, going straight from support of parents to the support of a partner. Single people don’t get to flex about this, but they should. (I’m in a relationship but was single a long time in my 30s and still am not cohabiting.)
anonymous married
yes. they should.
I got married at 22 and here is a list of things I have literally never done (went right from my dad doing them to my husband doing them) so that anyone who would like to can feel proud of themselves for doing them (not sarcastic, I am very impressed with my single friends who do everything themselves):
taken out the garbage
put gas in my car
scraped off a car in the winter
anything to do with a car, really
mowed a lawn
killed a bug (I did kill one mouse when my husband was out of town for work)
hooked up any kind of electrical device
grilled any food
started a fire in a fire pit
gotten out of bed at night to investigate a weird thunk, drip, beep, or squeak
lots of other things
Probably I would be a better person if I did handle these things, but the division of labor we’ve got going on works well for now so I look at it as lots of learning opportunities after my husband dies.
Anonymous
Wow. I am astonished by this. No judgment. I am a bit envious in a way. But no man has ever done any of these things for me unless I hired them for the task. I mean, once or twice a BF has taken out garbage or put gas in my car when we were in the car together, and my parents took care of grilling until I was a teen. But otherwise, I have done all the things all my life.
Anonymous
Wow. Maybe grow up? Put gas in your car ever? Just because you should be capable of it?
Refinnej
I find the idea of not putting gas in the car that I drive completely bizarre. If it’s just above empty, do you drive it home and say “honey, you need to put gas in the car!”
anonymous married
I know HOW to do it – e.g if we’re on a road trip I’ll hop out and open the gas cap and get things started while DH runs to the bathroom – but nope, haven’t ever done the whole process from start to finish. Didn’t have a car in college, and I don’t drive very much now (took the train pre-pandemic). DH likes to keep the gas tank at least half full so I’ve never been in a situation where I needed gas. If I did, I would.
Anonymous
Meanwhile, I am single and other than the couple of years where I owned a car and had to fill up my own tank, the only thing on this list I have done is take out my garbage. I mean, I guess I have plugged in a lamp, but that is the extent of my electrical work. I chalk most of these up to being a New Yorker, though — I was probably 40 before I ever even saw a fire pit and NY is just the sum total of weird sounds in the night.
That said, I do get sick of thinking about home repairs. None of my exes has been particularly handy, though, so the only thing I gained in a relationship is someone else coordinating the repairmen for me.
Anonymous
I find that list truly astonishing, but I think partly because I’ve seen my mother do these things as a matter of course all my life. I find the idea that this list is somehow “dad” stuff very alien, it’s just common adult tasks. (My father did them as well, but I do think he was less handy with stuff like mouse traps.)
I do have a friend who doesn’t even change light bulbs (how?? there is a whole subgenre of jokes about light bulbs!) and I find it … I don’t have the words, actually, it’s so weird.
anon
Also got married at 22, and I find this shocking. Really, you’ve never done this stuff?!
anonymous married
my dad had a very “show don’t tell” approach to love, and I started dating my husband, who is very much a caretaker, when I was 18. We have fairly traditional gender roles except that I am a corporate attorney and he is a SAHD to our three kids.
I did more household-y chores in college with roommates, but we always had staff or attentive boyfriends around to do the bug killing etc. So I went right from a very well-supervised dorm to married and living with my husband; I’ve never lived alone.
I have a lot of respect for people who do everything themselves! I legit think it is very impressive, and people should brag about it more! But since I do have a partner who splits all the domestic work with me, I’m not going to go out of my way to take on more tasks unless and until I have to.
anonshmanon
On the one hand, this is eye-brow raising. On the other hand, when my grandma died, my grandpa basically had to learn the exact opposite of this list (buying groceries, cooking, washing, ironing, cleaning) as he had never done any of those. On the first hand, that was 30 years ago.
theguvnah
this is literally insane. Never taken out garbage?!? truly wild. Have you never even like, been on a girls trip for a week?
anonymous married
nope! started having babies right away and haven’t been away from DH for long enough to need to take out the garbage. Before he was a SAHD, he would occasionally leave for a few days for work but would take out all the garbage before he left and do it again when he came back. I have no idea what day is garbage day. If he dies I’ll figure it out!
TBF, I’m from a pretty conservative/traditional background and while in many ways that can be extremely shitty for women, that culture does condition men to be very active/responsible/how-can-I-help partners. All my college roommates’ boyfriends handled lots of this stuff for us too – I’m not sure any of us actually took out our own garbage in college either, and one of them would come by early to shovel snow as necessary in the winter – not because we couldn’t, but because it’s a nice thing to do.
Anonymous
To anonymous married – it’s really interesting to hear you experiences. I agree with theguvnah that wild is a good word, in terms of your nevers. I’m from a much less conservative culture (Scandi), and I don’t know anybody with this kind of cultural environment in terms of chore division . Can I ask where you’re from? Broadly, I mean (I’m assuming US since it’s corporette), it’s always interesting to know if it’s a regional thing, or socioeconomical etc. when what’s common is so different. Did your family accept a SAHD easily, though? So interesting if they did! :)
anonymous married
from the Midwest, but I would say my religious background was more influential than the midwestness – and no, DH was not easily accepted as a SAHD – he’s done it long enough now (and has enough masculine-coded hobbies) that my family all has come around and thinks it’s normal, but our church is still suspicious.
My division of labor with DH is not for everyone – many people might prefer a more flexible approach (or, as others here, have a spouse who has to be gone for long periods of time) rather than having a very strict separate-spheres approach (he has never folded a sheet, fitted or otherwise, or prepared his own taxes, for instance).
But this works for us, and I don’t think there’s any particular virtue in occasionally changing lightbulbs (which, nope, I’ve never done – for one thing, I don’t know where the lightbulbs are or if we even have any) any more than there is virtue in making your own dentist appointment (which he has never done).
My point is really – I think it is absolutely true that single folks often have to manage a lot of things alone that are nicer to do with help/company, and while being partnered sometimes adds additional work for women, it can also take lots of things off your plate (and if your partner doesn’t help, he should!). So if you have been single or in a relationship where you’ve been obligated to handle everything yourself, you should get to feel proud about it, or bitter too. There are *lots* of things I envy about my single friends’ lives, but not being able to share the domestic work (in whatever way you want to) is not one of them.
Anon at 7:08 pm again
Thank you for your really detailed and interesting answer, anonymously married, It’s so great that you have a whole and balanced situation, whatever the small things’ divisions are. I’m so happy that you found a place where you and your SAHD’s life was at least accepted, even if odd to your family. I think that in a situation where there is a more conservative party, even a small concession to equality and job sharing (whatever the divisions) is a win that will impact all women. <3
Anonymous
This is so strange. I met DH at 23, moved in at 25, got married at 27 and have done all of these. Most of them like multiple times. And pretty sure all my married girlfriends have too.
Anon
I would caution against glibly thinking you can figure these things out if your husband dies. To the extent these are basic life skills, I think all adults, whether they do these things once in a while or all the time, should make an effort to be competent.
My MIL and FIL had a very traditional division of labor, with my MIL being only responsible for cooking and laundry and my FIL doing everything else. My FIL passed away 3 years ago, and it has frankly been a huge burden on my husband and me to help/teach her all the life skills she never got around to learning, and she fights/resents doing anything that she doesn’t enjoy or that wasn’t part of her sphere. For example, paying bills, paying taxes, working the tv (switching between Netflix and cable), ordering items online, anything computer/internet related, fixing/maintaining anything in the home. It doesn’t help that my FIL was really tech savvy and had all the latest and greatest tech gadgets (e.g., Sonos music system, AppleTv, etc) and she has no idea how to work any of it. She gets instantly frustrated because she doesn’t know how to do it, and then starts calling and texting my husband and me because she needs to get it done that very moment.
Can you tell I’m resentful that we have to handle all this for her while both working full time and raising 2 kids?
Anon
I’m pretty sure a corporate lawyer could figure it out. These responses are so harsh to someone being kind and sharing.
Anon
Cosign this. One of my grandmas was massively independent and competent in all manner of adult and homeowner tasks.
My other grandma (who was perfectly smart) didn’t know how to do very basic adult tasks like write a check because my grandpa always handled everything. She knew nothing about her own bills and finances.
Getting her up to speed on everything was a big lift and a source of stress for everyone on top of grieving her husband’s passing.
I’m glad anonymous married has a system that works for her and her family.
I do gently suggest that doing some skill building between now and when her husband dies would be wise.
Anon
Hopefully he has plenty of life insurance and she will be able to hire household staff to take out the garbage and fill the car up and do other chores around the house. I would assume that’s actually the plan.
Anon
I’m the Anon @ 10:00 pm. Reading my post with fresh eyes this morning, I realize it came off harsher than I intended. I actually think it’s great to have a division of labor that works well for both spouses and I appreciate hearing about the poster’s experiences. I guess I just wanted to get across that, especially to the extent it is easy, the poster could save herself and her family some heartache and stress down the line if she makes an effort to, for example, ask where the light bulbs are located. Seems like a simple thing, but when it all adds up could really reduce stress for her and her family during a time of grief.
Also, point taken that as a corporate attorney the poster probably already has many of the life skills to accomplish adult tasks. I was projecting my frustration with my MIL’s situation because it has put a huge amount of pressure on my family to take care of all the things my FIL used to do (and MIL has plenty of money but refuses to hire help).
I get this on alot of levels
I like to think my husband and I are self-sufficient standing alone and definitely think we can figure it all out but honestly, we do fall into distinct divisions of labor:
He is the primary grocery getter , chef, bill payer, and investment advisor (i.e. time to move around money, reinvest funds, etc), keeps up with car maintenance, and makes sure the outdoor planters are updated. I clean up all dishes, unload the dishwasher every morning, do all laundry, prepare the taxes, and purchase all presents for other people except he occasionally helps with our daughter. He is also willing to run lots of miles with our distance running daughter and will watch hours of Khan Academy videos to relearn AP Calculus when our high school senior is stuck. I should never complain. On the other hand, he misses the laundry hamper daily and will take our daughter out to eat three meals per day if I go out of town for the weekend. You know, “It’s too hard to clean up the kitchen.”
anne-on
I was REALLY proud when we looked for a first home together and my husband kept referring the finance people to me like, I don’t know, she’s had 2 mortgages and refinanced one already, talk to her!
Buying 2 apartments as a single woman was a BIG stretch but I’m so glad I did and honestly it was really empowering/fun to get to make allll the decisions (even the not fun parts of arguing with a mortgage broker, that no, really, I didn’t want to roll my closing costs into the mortgage. I have that money saved in cash and I’d rather not pay interest on it for the next 30 yrs, thanks…). Having parental support was helpful (as was having a building super) but I learned a TON. And I am still the one in our family who manages the contractors/handymen/etc. and I am not at ALL shy about telling any of them who ask to speak to my husband that they will not be getting our business, thanks.
Vicky Austin
You are goals, anne-on.
anne-on
Just seeing this now but you seriously made my day :)
Anonymous
When I was single, I found it exciting and empowering to be an adult who could do all of these things for myself. The only problem was when I needed a second driver, like to drive me home from a medical procedure. Acquiring a partner somehow exponentially increased the total amount of household work. Sure, I never have to take out the garbage, but each of us does more housework than either of us ever did as a single person.
Anon
That makes sense. By house tasks though, I meant like..mounting the TV, building the bookshelf, hanging things on the wall.
Monday
AC unit installation and de-installation! I’m here to brag about doing it myself for years. There’s always an element of suspense to it…will this be the time I accidentally drop it out the window? Or maybe on my toes?
Anon
Nope, I’d much rather build my own bookcase than be in a relationship with a soul-sucking man child who might mount the TV after 6 months of asking him to.
I’m happy alone, and the vast majority of potential partners would not make me happier than I am now.
Anon
Yes, it’s easier to empty the dishwasher than to remind and nag someone else that they promised to empty the dishwasher.
Anonymous
I’ve been married 15 years and built almost every piece of furniture in the house that required assembling. DH is great at lots of stuff but the worst at assembling furniture. I can’t use many power tools but using a cordless drill is not hard to learn and is super useful.
Anonymous
Yup. I do all furniture assembly and home maintenance and improvement. Somehow the man who used to do construction for fun when he was single can’t figure out how to install a garbage disposal.
anne-on
Yep. My mom and I have built almost every piece of flat pack furniture I ever bought, and she’s the one who taught me basic home repairs and maintenance. Both my dad and husband are the opposite of handy. That being said, I don’t know how to work our snowblower….
Anonymous
This. I can’t figure out how but somehow it’s more work. I guess because you have to take another person’s preferences into account when buying groceries, how often the sheets get changed or the house gets vacuumed, deciding who does what stuff etc. Tons of benefits and I don’t take that for granted but I remember when DH and I moved in together that I was surprised it wasn’t way less work.
Refinnej
Well, you do have two people doing things that potentially create a mess/clutter up space, instead of one.
Anonymous
I was just having a conversation with my BF about this. He and I live separately and we are both fiercely independent and do not share any tasks at all at this point. But he has one task at his home that he keeps procrastinating because it takes a long time, and he also keeps lamenting that it hasn’t been done. I have repeatedly offered to help, but he keeps turning me down because it is a sort of dirty task. Anyway, the point I was trying to make to him is that this task, like some others, actually takes about 1/3 the time with two as it does to do it solo, not even 1/2. Some things are just so much easier to do in tandem. Yes, there are some chores that double with two, but most are the same or less. And some things are just more pleasant to do with a partner, or while you know a partner is around getting another chore done. I get really exhausted when I realize that no one other than me has ever — ever — let my dog out in the morning (boarding excluded). And that isn’t even work.
nuqotw
It’s a double-edged sword, but yes, this is an aspect of singlehood that sucks. When I was single I wasn’t so much bitter as I was exhausted by having to do everything. I did think that perhaps my coupled friends missed getting to have everything the way they liked it. Now I am coupled. I like the company and the help and I miss having everything the way I liked it.
Hildy J.
Someone posted here a few weeks ago, somewhat jokingly, about being jealous of what she imagined was the typical single woman’s home, all beautiful and dreamy, with no husband and kids to mess it up, and I almost wanted to cry. I mean, I get that the grass is always greener, but…
Anon
I remember that comment. I have that home and that life. It is beautiful, and everything is always clean and exactly how I like it. It really does make me happy, and I am grateful for the opportunity to have a lovely home that is all mine. But it can also be excruciatingly lonely, especially when I see comments like that one.
There are so many husband complaining posts on here and sometimes I think, “I wish I had a husband to complain about!”
Monday
I feel that last one. I’m not single anymore, but I remember once after my husband left me, listening to my mom, sister and SIL all joke-complaining together about their husbands. I pretty much said what you just wrote.
No Problem
Yes! It’s certainly not great to have to do all the things you mentioned and more all by myself with no one to help or trade off with, but also no one to share in the good. Sure I have friends to talk to, but I don’t have a single “best friend” and there’s nothing like having a partner to gush to about your latest raise or work accomplishment, high five you when you get home from a run (push you to go for the run, too, because you both know you’ll feel better if you go, but it’s effort to change clothes and put on your shoes), or to thank you for doing a task or chore or helping them with something.
Monday
Yep. This is why we should normalize big-a$$ parties and gift-giving for other milestones than just marriage and kids. Some people never have these life events, and it’s not fair if it’s considered “tacky” for them to want to be celebrated for their promotions, house purchases, etc.
Anonymous
Why wouldn’t you throw a housewarming party or a graduation party or a promotion party? I mean, not during a pandemic, but after this is all over, throw yourself a [email protected] party. I’ll happily show up.
Also, unless you are one of those bridezillas who demands a destination bach party plus a shower plus a “wedding weekend,” hosting a wedding is not really about celebrating you at all. It is a very expensive family and friends reunion for everyone else to enjoy. The bride and groom are just there to organize and pay for it all and to make everyone else happy, usually at the cost of what they actually want.
Anon
Ummm.. no, on that wedding comment. I was married (and had a shower, but no bachelorette party). My wedding wasn’t exactly what I wanted, but at no point in my life other than my wedding/bridal shower has anyone given me huge checks or really nice housewares. Everyone was happy to see each other at the wedding, but they toasted me and my (now ex) husband, said really nice things to us all day, etc.
I always give my friends nice gifts for promotions, new houses, etc., for this reason.
anon
yes, I have done my best to send flowers, cards and gifts to my friends and siblings when they pay off their student loans, move to a new apartment (doesn’t have to be “buying a house!”), get a promotion (or, depending on the industry, a “good, thx” email), run a marathon, dog has surgery, etc. – and would happily come to parties for some of these milestones too. And it just creates a nice community to live in – I also like to be celebrated for my non-marriage, non-kid milestones, so it’s good for everybody.
Aunt Jamesina
I feel like we should throw a party with gifts at whatever age someone moves out of their parents’ home (for household basics), and then another party in your late 20s or early 30s for fancier stuff. We shouldn’t tie parties to life milestones that aren’t universal.
Daffodil
This.
Anon
Yes. I’m currently working 14-15 hour days, 6-7 days a week. I’m very jealous of my coworkers who come home to laundry done and house clean and food made.
Anonymous
That’s not just having a spouse. That’s having a SAH spouse.
Anon at 4:43
None of my married coworkers have stay at home spouses (we all make like 60k in HCOL/MCOL area, couldn’t afford to support people on this salary).
However, we’re all working 100+ hour weeks right now, and then coming home and doing more (vaccine distribution) and so anyone with spouses, their spouses are taking on more house work than usual. I discuss division of labor with a few colleagues and can say they have much more equal division normally. However, now the spouses are doing the lion share of housework because my coworkers just can’t.
I’m just living like a tornado tore threw my house and white knuckling to get through. It’s temporary, but it’s tough right now.
Anon
*married coworkers
Anonymous
My DH was military so I have gotten to live alone for extended periods of time and with my DH. I think there are pros and cons to both. I literally spend 3x as much money on food when he’s home, the man eats so much it exponentially increases costs, time, and effort to carry it home. He is also so messy, just his existence somehow makes the floors, bathroom, everything dirtier. When I’m alone I can do all household tasks for the week on a single afternoon, not so much when DH is home. However he helps me rotate the mattress, I can’t do that alone, he’s also really helpful in that he splits bills, and can take me for dental surgery. One is not necessarily better than the other, just different.
Anon
Yes. I was just texting with a fellow single friend last week about this. It’s the emotional labor of it all and all of it being on you. Yes, I can outsource things, but I can’t outsource thinking about them! Cooking for one is so annoying, too. I just wish I could share the load.
I wish I could share that labor with a partner (and yes, I am well aware that in many relationships, women just end up taking on the emotional labor of the entire household when they partner up, so I know it’s not a cure-all… but indulge me the fantasy of a partner who actually splits emotional and household labor with me 50-50!).
Anonymous
If you were married, you’d have to think about all of your stuff and all of spouse’s stuff too, and kids’ stuff if there were kids.
Anon
Not necessarily. I have lived with a man and lived alone both for extended periods. My ex husband was awful in a lot of ways, but he was expected to think about his own responsibilities and family. My boyfriend now lives with me, but he’s also expected to do all that stuff for himself. I understand having to keep stuff straight for children, but deciding to keep up with all your husband’s “stuff” really is a choice.
Anon
Honestly, as a longtime married person, my suggestion is don’t settle for less!
Anon
Hear, hear!
For the OP — Yes, I totally agree with you and feel you. I have been married and have lived alone as an adult, and that’s the aspect about living alone that I hate most. Every. Single. Thing. falls to me, no matter how big or small or inconvenient.
Anonymous
Not single now, but I believe that what you said is absolutely true. I get so much help from my partner that I didn’t when I was single. It really weighs on you.
Anon
+1
Pep
I’ve very aware of not having the “safety net” of a partner/husband. It does weigh on my mind. It is exhausting sometimes to be responsible for EVERYTHING.
Paging this morning's LGBTO book advice parent
Paging this morning’s LGBTO book advice parent
Was too late for this morning’s discussion, but since you asked for good resources – one place that you might find good advice, and where your daughter might find good advice, is the Scarleteen website. Non-judgmental and inclusive advice on small and big matters.
You might find posts or advice from others to other bisexual teens helpful or give you some background to the kind of issues she faces that you won’t necessarily think of on your own.
Anon
That’s one of those “people with a vagina” sites, FYI. I find that language dehumanizing, which I have heard echoed by many other lesbian and bisexual women.
Anon
That was me, saw this late but thank you! I’ll check it out
Anon
Maybe a dumb recommendation but I just bought a jar of chopped Calibrian peppers for a recipe and omg, where have these been all my life? I’m putting them on EVERYTHING! They’re spicy so a little goes a long way, but they have so much flavor.
Anonymous
Oh, yeah. They are a secret weapon in the kitchen.
Senior Attorney
Right? Game changer!!
See also: Harissa, which is similar and to which I am also addicted.
Anon
Red harissa paste?
Senior Attorney
Yes. Trader Joe’s has a great version in a jar.
Anon
Good to know, if I ever go to TJ’s again
Maybe the clothes would do it
Fantasy beach town attire thread! I am itching to shop for some fun beachy /summer y clothes.
Anonymous
Hmm, Hale Bob? It totally does not fit me, but I love the designs.
Anonymous
Poupette St. Barth. I am seriously considering buying one of their dresses to wear while sitting on my deck imagining that I am on a tropical island.
Elderlyunicorn
Poetry’s spring/summer catalog was full of things I’d wear to visit islands in Greece or somewhere along the Amalfi coast but not anything I’d wear in real life or to my regular beach.
Bob Crachit
I came in as runner-up to a job I was hoping to be offered. I was excited about the role and did well, but the other candidate just had a bit better experience. I am also in a completely unhealthy and arguably abusive situation at my current company and now feeling very low and imprisoned by my employer. Rationally I understand that as my seniority climbs there will be fewer opportunities and more rejections – and also that the job market in my industry is seemingly heating up after some long, dark, quiet pandemic-months. Still having a hard time shaking it off and looking to vent, I guess? Tips for shifting focus outside of work for an indeterminate amount of time while working towards something new (which is particularly hard to do when things are just that bad)? Not bad enough to quit altogether, though I suppose it could get there.
Anonymous
No advice, but I’m sorry you lost out on the opportunity. Job searching is the worst and I hope something else materializes soon.
Ellen
Internet Hugs to you. I’ve been there and done that, but trust me, there will be something that pops up, sometime’s even out of the blue! I was abused in my old job, with men pinching my tuchus every day, and I was an attorney! I felt trapped, but one day, serving a subpeenie, I met a man who gave me a chance and I was able to succeed after years of hard luck. I still have not found a man to marry and bear children, but hopfully, that to will come soon. So hang in there and things will improve! YAY!!!!
adfasf
Oh god – I am in your situation, however I have been unemployed since November. I just had that “thanks for playing” call with an HR person after I went through 3 rounds of interviews and spend the good part of last week doing a F#@K!ng power point presentation for them! Always the bridesmaid, never the bride thats my fate. I am at the point where I am seriously wishing that a truck would run over me.
Anonymously
Please don’t say this! Everyone feels badly at times and just please, please know that there’s help out there. Job searching sucks!
Aunt Jamesina
Oh ADFASF, I’m so sorry that happened to you, that’s so exhausting and demoralizing. If you are feeling suicidal, please, please seek help! And even if you aren’t, it sounds like you’re in a rough spot and could use someone to talk to. I hope you get support. I’m thinking of you.
Anonymous Grouch
In your position, and since today is Thursday, I would take the day off tomorrow. Call in sick if you need to. Hopefully the weather where you are is nice and you could get outside and enjoy it. It would help with the “imprisoned” feelings.
Anon
+1. I have had that same feeling a few times this year and getting outside helped dramatically, much more than I anticipated. Sorry to hear about the job.
Anon
Years ago I lost out on a job that I really wanted, and not changing jobs then led me to take a different opportunity about six months later that worked out so well for my career in all the right ways. It never would have happened if I’d taken the other job.
I’m just telling you my own story to remind you that there are lots of paths your life can take. Keep your head up and keep looking!
Anonymous
So hard. I wish they wouldn’t say “runner up” because that sometimes stings worse. I once was passed over on a job only to have a former coworker who is one of my best friends end up getting hired for it a couple of years later (directly after the person hired instead of me quit and left the industry altogether). The job turned out to be miserable in every single way from the grueling workload and crazy hours to the overly regimented culture to the absolute evil boss. My friend is one of the hardest working and most talented people I know and she ended up getting fired when the boss made a mistake and saved her own skin by blaming her for it. It was eye opening to me that “the one that got away” may not always be as golden as it seemed. I can’t tell you how many times I thanked my lucky stars for bullet dodged.
The right opportunity will come. And try not to dwell too hard on current work life. That you are actively working to get out of there means it won’t be much longer now. When things start to feel stressful, I always feel better visualizing myself–literally–with one foot out the door. It also helps to keep in mind how fast things can actually move once something is the right fit. I would repeat to myself “In only three weeks I could potentially be out of here.”
If it were me, I’d try to take tomorrow off or at least the afternoon and go for a walk and then treat yourself to a nice bubble bath and dinner.
Anon
Over the years I’ve bought a bunch of art photographs (like by artists), but many of them aren’t matted and/or framed. I tend to get black & white ones and am trying to figure out what to do with them in a new house. I am not sure who would best advise re frame / mat (matte?) and placement / groupings, but I have a ton of blank walls and also want to frame them before they get dinged up. I am good at this only in hindsight — I can tell what is wrong with a display but can’t visualize in advance if I’m spending $$$ on the wrong frames, hanging in a spot that looks weird, etc.
Is this an interior decorator? Paying a gallery person for a consultation? The framing person? Help!!!
Anon
For a less expensive than a decorator and more than DIY, Framebridge offers a gallery wall service, they also frame and send you the template for hanging
Anonymous
Can you tape up for pieces of paper of the correct size to see what they look like?
Anon
Has anyone used online framing services like Framebridge? Any particular ones you’d recommend (or avoid)?
Anon
I’ve used Framebridge and found the quality to be very poor compared to frames from West Elm / CB2 and the like (felt flimsy and the covering was plastic rather than glass). A couple of the frames arrived scuffed. The company was on top of sending replacements but it was a hassle.
Anon
Huh, just recommended them above and have had the opposite experience. I found their quality great and had no issues. I also like Artifact Uprising for this.
Anom
I really wanted to like these shoes but had to return. The standard width was too wide for my feet, which are a little narrower than average but not actually Narrow.
Anon
Could someone please update me? I’ve been working all day and haven’t had a chance to catch up with the news.
Did Trump get re-inaugurated today? Because my idiot cousin absolutely, 100% guaranteed me that was happening today.
Anonymous
Haha. I just heard about this cokkamamie conspiracy theory last night. It’s so weird how easily some people can be manipulated upon being told a single historical fact like that the president used to be inaugurated on March 4. It’s like they get a charge from having a little tidbit of esoteric “information” and then they crave a continued feeling of being smarter than everyone else so they are willing to ingest all kinds of twisted theories based on that “information” so they can educate others who don’t have the “information.”
Anon
I see you’ve met my cousin.
Curious
And my father.